Gay men have a unique view of the straight man’s world.
They know what makes a man attractive and they're also guys, too.
Gay men also tend to form deeper friendships with straight women, so they get the inside scoop on what they really want from relationships.
According to a recent question posted on Reddit, gay men and straight women often want the same thing: a guy who’s emotionally available and reasonably well-dressed.
To help straight men with their relationships and life in-general, Reddit user OurOhnlyHope posed the question “Gay Men of Reddit, what advice do you have for Straight Men of Reddit?” on the online forum. Since it was first posted, the thread has received over 11,000 responses.
That's a lot of advice, so here's here’s 12 of our favorite gems.
- We can help you find Ms. Right.
As long as a gay friend isn't crushing on you, we're really good at helping you figure out if a girl is right for you or if you're just blinded by pussy. We have a special ability with hot women called, "You have no power here!" and we find out very quickly which ones become hell to deal with if they can't wrap you around their finger. Our opinion also isn't shaded by female politics as a female friend's can be.
I saw so many friends in college chase after girls that were completely wrong for them, just because of their looks. Gay men totally do the same thing when it comes to other men, so we can use your help as a filter as well.
(Reddit user BrobearBerbil)
2. It's important to stretch.
Flexibility and stretching is really important for good blood flow. Improving this part of your life will definitely improve your mental capacities and give you more energy. A study has shown that women find men who stretch more attractive.
The best way to stretch is to use one hand to grab the other wrist and raise your arms above your head and stretch to the sky. Hold the stretch for 10-15s. Feel free to add a little sway to either side. The stretch is best accomplished when wearing a loose-fitting shirt that exposes the midriff during the stretch. As a matter of fact, it's really best done shirtless and in a public setting, preferably ending the stretch with a few pelvic thrusts.
Just remember that if it doesn't work to get your blood flowing...well, it will work for me. ;)
(Reddit user coldize)
3. It's OK to express your emotions.
As a gay man, I just want to say that it's ok to express your emotions.
I cannot tell you how many times my brother's girlfriend would come up to me going, "Did I do something wrong!? He's so... quiet lately!" and me replying, "Nah, he had a bad day at work and is a bit stressed."
It's also ok to discuss your feelings and may even help your relationship with a significant other.
Too many men today put their feelings in an air tight container and end up losing part of themselves, yet feel it's the right course of action to preserve their machismo.
(Reddit user Cananbaum)
4. Flirt with no agenda.
Try to stop worrying too much when interacting with women you fancy; I've known a fair few of my straight friends incapable of flirting with women, whereas I've had to turn down the same women without even realising I was seeming flirtatious because I was just talking to them as I would anyone else without any agenda.
(Reddit user Birtyboy)
5. Not every gay guy is into you.
DON'T, and i can't put enough emphasis on this, DO NOT consider yourself so desirable that every gay guy will try to suck your dick every chance he gets.
You have no idea how many bloated, ugly as fuck straight guys reacted somewhere in the lines of 'Oh, you're queer? Thats okay, as long as you don't grope me.' when they figured out i was gay. Take a fucking honest look at yourself. You (probably) are very average looking, and implying that any gay guy wants to jump you is offensive as fuck.
Also, take care of your fingernails. Get a manicure once in a while. Hands are sexy.
(Reddit user Grailclipper)
6. Be confident, not creepy.
This thread needed a serious tag. I'll offer my best as I have lots of girlfriends that discuss this stuff with at times.
1. Dress nice. (You may think sweats are cool but ladies notice when you dress nice. Jeans, a nice pair of shoe, and a fitted tee or button up can really raise your stock with the ladies.)
2. Clean up. (Personal hygeine is key. Shower and deodorant. We guys sweat and can stink. A good cologne will make the ladies swoon. Also guys you can moisturize, lotion is fine. Lastly a nicely groomed beard is a good thing.)
3. Don't stereotype us. (Gay men come in all shapes and sizes and have a variety of interests.)
4. Be confident, not creepy.(I have seen so many good looking guys totally blow it when hitting on my friends.)
5. We can be friends. (I have lots of straight guy friends but some guys are so afraid to befriend me. Just cause a guy is gay doesn't mean he is interested. If I want to get laid I would sooner check Grindr than hit on a straight guy.)
Edit: Wow this blew up. More tips since you guys asked.
1. Dark jeans are great, please match your outfit, fitted clothing is wearing your size or if you can afford it tailored. You don't have to break the bank to dress nice discount stores like Marshall's, Ross and TJ Maxx offer nice clothes at a discount. Forever 21 and H&M offer trendy affordable clothing. I can name more expensive stores like Express, Banana Republic. Guys there are more than video games and porn on the Internet look at mens fashion advice or style tips. Lastly GQ, Esquire and Details offer great fashion tips.
2. A few people mentioned brush your teeth if you have to be reminded to do this you are beyond help. Cologne is tricky. We all have a natural scent so find one that mixes well with you. Go to Sephora or any major department store find an employee ask if they can help. Sometimes these people work on commission so they will be eager to help but don't let them force anything on you. I never buy the same bottle twice, but that's just me. There are so many. Gucci Guilty, Dior Homme, Kenneth Cole Black, Dolce and Gabanna Light Blue,Bleu De Chanel, YSL, way too many. Calvin Klein offers a good affordable variety. A few last tips. Don't use anything that smells like your uncle Bobby. Also don't spray the whole bottle, focus on key areas. Neck, chest, wrists.
3. Confident not creepy. Example my friends and I are dancing, you grinding up on one of them from behind is creepy. Don't be pushy be polite. Offer to buy her a drink. Ask her to dance. Guys sometimes a girl just wants to go out and chill so don't take it personal if she declines your advances. Other times she wants to get laid so spark up a conversation and see where that takes you.
(Reddit user Mattie4fun)
7. Don't be afraid to be feminine
Don't be so afraid to be feminine! You wanna wax your eyebrows, go ahead, you're not less of a man. Wanna dye your hair bright colors? Go ahead! Wanna paint your nails? Go ahead. Wanna wear a skirt? Go ahead! Your manliness is decided by you, not your lack of femininity.
(Reddit user ViolaExplosion)
8. Don't be afraid of beautiful women.
Here's a little semi-secret: You have nothing to lose by approaching a beautiful woman. We know this. We're gay. We have nothing invested in approaching a beautiful woman, chatting her up, and suddenly becoming best friends by the end of the night. And sometimes, beautiful women will invite us to touch their boobs, just to check 'em out.
We are not intimidated by beautiful women because we have nothing to lose. We have invested nothing in her until we start talking to her. By that calculation, there is absolutely no reason not to approach a beautiful woman at a bar, a party, or some other social gathering.
But you? You make a mistake. You mistakenly think that you have something to lose. Your attraction, your lust, your ... whatever you feel at that moment, you think that you already have something hanging out there to lose. Or you imagine that you will be turned down if you approach her, as if that is a loss of something.
You need to get over that mistake. Know that you have nothing invested before you approach a beautiful woman, so you have nothing to lose.
Don't be a douche. Don't think you have more to offer. Just realize that any person you meet at any moment in time presents the opportunity to achieve a relationship with an equal.
(Reddit user PDXHusker)
9. Size isn't that important.
I guess this is more... reassuring? But we hear a lot from your girlfriends. Like, a lot. If we're close, she'll tell us the whole story. And one thing I've learned from woman I know/hardly know/have literally met that night, it's that dick size doesn't matter. Most women and gays would much prefer a guy who knows what he's doing than someone who just sits on his high horse because his dick's above average. And yeah, there are size queens, but they aren't important.
(Reddit user I tried to be nice)
10. Just stop.
stop wearing white oakley sunglasses with coloured lenses. just stop.
(Reddit user [deleted])
11. We've seen your nudes.
If you send nudes to a female who has a gay best friend, he's seen your dick.
(Reddit user Thisguy2869)
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Our mouths loves chips. Our bodies not so much.Photo by 
You can eat well without giving up sweets completely.Photo by 
12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.