​Gay men have a unique view of the straight man’s world.

They know what makes a man attractive and they're also guys, too.

Gay men also tend to form deeper friendships with straight women, so they get the inside scoop on what they really want from relationships.


According to a recent question posted on Reddit, gay men and straight women often want the same thing: a guy who’s  emotionally available and reasonably well-dressed.

To help straight men with their relationships and life in-general, Reddit user OurOhnlyHope posed the question “Gay Men of Reddit, what advice do you have for Straight Men of Reddit?” on the online forum. Since it was first posted, the thread has received over 11,000 responses.

That's a lot of advice, so here's here’s 12 of our favorite gems.

  1. We can help you find Ms. Right.
As long as a gay friend isn't crushing on you, we're really good at helping you figure out if a girl is right for you or if you're just blinded by pussy. We have a special ability with hot women called, "You have no power here!" and we find out very quickly which ones become hell to deal with if they can't wrap you around their finger. Our opinion also isn't shaded by female politics as a female friend's can be.

I saw so many friends in college chase after girls that were completely wrong for them, just because of their looks. Gay men totally do the same thing when it comes to other men, so we can use your help as a filter as well.

(Reddit user BrobearBerbil)

2. It's important to stretch.

Flexibility and stretching is really important for good blood flow. Improving this part of your life will definitely improve your mental capacities and give you more energy. A study has shown that women find men who stretch more attractive.

The best way to stretch is to use one hand to grab the other wrist and raise your arms above your head and stretch to the sky. Hold the stretch for 10-15s. Feel free to add a little sway to either side. The stretch is best accomplished when wearing a loose-fitting shirt that exposes the midriff during the stretch. As a matter of fact, it's really best done shirtless and in a public setting, preferably ending the stretch with a few pelvic thrusts.

Just remember that if it doesn't work to get your blood flowing...well, it will work for me. ;)

(Reddit user coldize)

3. It's OK to express your emotions.

As a gay man, I just want to say that it's ok to express your emotions.

I cannot tell you how many times my brother's girlfriend would come up to me going, "Did I do something wrong!? He's so... quiet lately!" and me replying, "Nah, he had a bad day at work and is a bit stressed."

It's also ok to discuss your feelings and may even help your relationship with a significant other.

Too many men today put their feelings in an air tight container and end up losing part of themselves, yet feel it's the right course of action to preserve their machismo.

(Reddit user Cananbaum)

4. Flirt with no agenda.

Try to stop worrying too much when interacting with women you fancy; I've known a fair few of my straight friends incapable of flirting with women, whereas I've had to turn down the same women without even realising I was seeming flirtatious because I was just talking to them as I would anyone else without any agenda.

(Reddit user Birtyboy)

5. Not every gay guy is into you.

DON'T, and i can't put enough emphasis on this, DO NOT consider yourself so desirable that every gay guy will try to suck your dick every chance he gets.

You have no idea how many bloated, ugly as fuck straight guys reacted somewhere in the lines of 'Oh, you're queer? Thats okay, as long as you don't grope me.' when they figured out i was gay. Take a fucking honest look at yourself. You (probably) are very average looking, and implying that any gay guy wants to jump you is offensive as fuck.

Also, take care of your fingernails. Get a manicure once in a while. Hands are sexy.

(Reddit user Grailclipper)

6. Be confident, not creepy.

This thread needed a serious tag. I'll offer my best as I have lots of girlfriends that discuss this stuff with at times.

1. Dress nice. (You may think sweats are cool but ladies notice when you dress nice. Jeans, a nice pair of shoe, and a fitted tee or button up can really raise your stock with the ladies.)

2. Clean up. (Personal hygeine is key. Shower and deodorant. We guys sweat and can stink. A good cologne will make the ladies swoon. Also guys you can moisturize, lotion is fine. Lastly a nicely groomed beard is a good thing.)

3. Don't stereotype us. (Gay men come in all shapes and sizes and have a variety of interests.)

4. Be confident, not creepy.(I have seen so many good looking guys totally blow it when hitting on my friends.)

5. We can be friends. (I have lots of straight guy friends but some guys are so afraid to befriend me. Just cause a guy is gay doesn't mean he is interested. If I want to get laid I would sooner check Grindr than hit on a straight guy.)

Edit: Wow this blew up. More tips since you guys asked.

1. Dark jeans are great, please match your outfit, fitted clothing is wearing your size or if you can afford it tailored. You don't have to break the bank to dress nice discount stores like Marshall's, Ross and TJ Maxx offer nice clothes at a discount. Forever 21 and H&M offer trendy affordable clothing. I can name more expensive stores like Express, Banana Republic. Guys there are more than video games and porn on the Internet look at mens fashion advice or style tips. Lastly GQ, Esquire and Details offer great fashion tips.

2. A few people mentioned brush your teeth if you have to be reminded to do this you are beyond help. Cologne is tricky. We all have a natural scent so find one that mixes well with you. Go to Sephora or any major department store find an employee ask if they can help. Sometimes these people work on commission so they will be eager to help but don't let them force anything on you. I never buy the same bottle twice, but that's just me. There are so many. Gucci Guilty, Dior Homme, Kenneth Cole Black, Dolce and Gabanna Light Blue,Bleu De Chanel, YSL, way too many. Calvin Klein offers a good affordable variety. A few last tips. Don't use anything that smells like your uncle Bobby. Also don't spray the whole bottle, focus on key areas. Neck, chest, wrists.

3. Confident not creepy. Example my friends and I are dancing, you grinding up on one of them from behind is creepy. Don't be pushy be polite. Offer to buy her a drink. Ask her to dance. Guys sometimes a girl just wants to go out and chill so don't take it personal if she declines your advances. Other times she wants to get laid so spark up a conversation and see where that takes you.

(Reddit user Mattie4fun)

7. Don't be afraid to be feminine

Don't be so afraid to be feminine! You wanna wax your eyebrows, go ahead, you're not less of a man. Wanna dye your hair bright colors? Go ahead! Wanna paint your nails? Go ahead. Wanna wear a skirt? Go ahead! Your manliness is decided by you, not your lack of femininity.

(Reddit user ViolaExplosion)

8. Don't be afraid of beautiful women.

Here's a little semi-secret: You have nothing to lose by approaching a beautiful woman. We know this. We're gay. We have nothing invested in approaching a beautiful woman, chatting her up, and suddenly becoming best friends by the end of the night. And sometimes, beautiful women will invite us to touch their boobs, just to check 'em out.

We are not intimidated by beautiful women because we have nothing to lose. We have invested nothing in her until we start talking to her. By that calculation, there is absolutely no reason not to approach a beautiful woman at a bar, a party, or some other social gathering.

But you? You make a mistake. You mistakenly think that you have something to lose. Your attraction, your lust, your ... whatever you feel at that moment, you think that you already have something hanging out there to lose. Or you imagine that you will be turned down if you approach her, as if that is a loss of something.

You need to get over that mistake. Know that you have nothing invested before you approach a beautiful woman, so you have nothing to lose.

Don't be a douche. Don't think you have more to offer. Just realize that any person you meet at any moment in time presents the opportunity to achieve a relationship with an equal.

(Reddit user PDXHusker)

9. Size isn't that important.

I guess this is more... reassuring? But we hear a lot from your girlfriends. Like, a lot. If we're close, she'll tell us the whole story. And one thing I've learned from woman I know/hardly know/have literally met that night, it's that dick size doesn't matter. Most women and gays would much prefer a guy who knows what he's doing than someone who just sits on his high horse because his dick's above average. And yeah, there are size queens, but they aren't important.

(Reddit user I tried to be nice)

10. Just stop.

stop wearing white oakley sunglasses with coloured lenses. just stop.

(Reddit user [deleted])

11. We've seen your nudes.

If you send nudes to a female who has a gay best friend, he's seen your dick.

(Reddit user Thisguy2869)

Connections Academy

Wylee Mitchell is a senior at Nevada Connections Academy who started a t-shirt company to raise awareness for mental health.

True

Teens of today live in a totally different world than the one their parents grew up in. Not only do young people have access to technologies that previous generations barely dreamed of, but they're also constantly bombarded with information from the news and media.

Today’s youth are also living through a pandemic that has created an extra layer of difficulty to an already challenging age—and it has taken a toll on their mental health.

According to Mental Health America, nearly 14% of youths ages 12 to 17 experienced a major depressive episode in the past year. In a September 2020 survey of high schoolers by Active Minds, nearly 75% of respondents reported an increase in stress, anxiety, sadness and isolation during the first six months of the pandemic. And in a Pearson and Connections Academy survey of US parents, 66% said their child felt anxious or depressed during the pandemic.

However, the pandemic has only exacerbated youth mental health issues that were already happening before COVID-19.

“Many people associate our current mental health crisis with the pandemic,” says Morgan Champion, the head of counseling services for Connections Academy Schools. “In fact, the youth mental health crisis was alarming and on the rise before the pandemic. Today, the alarm continues.”

Mental Health America reports that most people who take the organization’s online mental health screening test are under 18. According to the American Psychiatric Association, about 50% of cases of mental illness begin by age 14, and the tendency to develop depression and bipolar disorder nearly doubles from age 13 to age 18.

Such statistics demand attention and action, which is why experts say destigmatizing mental health and talking about it is so important.

“Today we see more people talking about mental health openly—in a way that is more akin to physical health,” says Champion. She adds that mental health support for young people is being more widely promoted, and kids and teens have greater access to resources, from their school counselors to support organizations.

Parents are encouraging this support too. More than two-thirds of American parents believe children should be introduced to wellness and mental health awareness in primary or middle school, according to a new Global Learner Survey from Pearson. Since early intervention is key to helping young people manage their mental health, these changes are positive developments.

In addition, more and more people in the public eye are sharing their personal mental health experiences as well, which can help inspire young people to open up and seek out the help they need.

“Many celebrities and influencers have come forward with their mental health stories, which can normalize the conversation, and is helpful for younger generations to understand that they are not alone,” says Champion.

That’s one reason Connections Academy is hosting a series of virtual Emotional Fitness talks with Olympic athletes who are alums of the virtual school during Mental Health Awareness Month. These talks are free, open to the public and include relatable topics such as success and failure, leadership, empowerment and authenticity. For instance, on May 18, Olympic women’s ice hockey player Lyndsey Fry will speak on finding your own style of confidence, and on May 25, Olympic figure skater Karen Chen will share advice for keeping calm under pressure.

Family support plays a huge role as well. While the pandemic has been challenging in and of itself, it has actually helped families identify mental health struggles as they’ve spent more time together.

“Parents gained greater insight into their child’s behavior and moods, how they interact with peers and teachers,” says Champion. “For many parents this was eye-opening and revealed the need to focus on mental health.”

It’s not always easy to tell if a teen is dealing with normal emotional ups and downs or if they need extra help, but there are some warning signs caregivers can watch for.

“Being attuned to your child’s mood, affect, school performance, and relationships with friends or significant others can help you gauge whether you are dealing with teenage normalcy or something bigger,” Champion says. Depending on a child’s age, parents should be looking for the following signs, which may be co-occurring:

  • Perpetual depressed mood
  • Rocky friend relationships
  • Spending a lot of time alone and refusing to participate in daily activities
  • Too much or not enough sleep
  • Not eating a regular diet
  • Intense fear or anxiety
  • Drug or alcohol use
  • Suicidal ideation (talking about being a burden or giving away possessions) or plans

“You know your child best. If you are unsure if your child is having a rough time or if there is something more serious going on, it is best to reach out to a counselor or doctor to be sure,” says Champion. “Always err on the side of caution.”

If it appears a student does need help, what next? Talking to a school counselor can be a good first step, since they are easily accessible and free to visit.

“Just getting students to talk about their struggles with a trusted adult is huge,” says Champion. “When I meet with students and/or their families, I work with them to help identify the issues they are facing. I listen and recommend next steps, such as referring families to mental health resources in their local areas.”

Just as parents would take their child to a doctor for a sprained ankle, they shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help if a child is struggling mentally or emotionally. Parents also need to realize that they may not be able to help them on their own, no matter how much love and support they have to offer.

“That is a hard concept to accept when parents can feel solely responsible for their child’s welfare and well-being,” says Champion. “The adage still stands—it takes a village to raise a child. Be sure you are surrounding yourself and your child with a great support system to help tackle life’s many challenges.”

That village can include everyone from close family to local community members to public figures. Helping young people learn to manage their mental health is a gift we can all contribute to, one that will serve them for a lifetime.

Join athletes, Connections Academy and Upworthy for candid discussions on mental health during Mental Health Awareness Month. Learn more and find resources here.

via Pexels

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