Michael Angelakos came out as gay. He also loved his wife. That says a lot about human sexuality.
'I'm gay, and that's it,' Michael Angelakos said. 'It just has to happen.'
Michael Angelakos, lead vocalist of the band Passion Pit, made a life-changing announcement on Nov. 9, 2015.
"I'm gay," he said. "And that's it. It just has to happen."
Photo by Cory Schwartz/Getty Images.
The news spread rapidly among fans of the group, made famous for indie-electronic hits like "The Reeling," "Sleepyhead," and "Take A Walk."
He opened up about his sexuality while chatting with Bret Easton Ellis on the author's podcast.
"It's always been about putting it off in my head — not consciously," he explained, noting that up until the day before the interview, "very few people" knew about his sexual orientation.
"When you're teetering on the edge of heterosexuality or homosexuality and you don't know what's going on, it's just so comfortable to keep coming back to what you know."
A big reason why Angelakos stayed in the closet? He desperately wanted to make his marriage work.
The Passion Pit frontman announced he was getting divorced from stylist Kristina Mucci in August 2015. And it hadn't been an easy decision.
Photo by Hannah Peters/Getty Images.
"I just wanted so badly to be straight because I love her so much," Angelakos said. "I think that was one of the most painful things, when we decided to separate."
But the singer also noted Mucci's support had, in a certain way, been the inspiration behind his decision to come out.
“She said, 'You need to figure out what's going on with your sexuality because you can't hate yourself anymore,'" he said, as Us Magazine reported, explaining how Mucci had "spearheaded" his coming out process.
This isn't the first time Angelakos has made headlines for opening up about his personal life.
The musician was diagnosed as bipolar as a teen and began discussing his mental health publicly back in 2012, when it became more and more difficult to hide from fans.
Photo by Alli Harvey/Getty Images for Spotify.
"I just didn't believe in lying about cancellations," he told NPR. "And I remember having to cancel a number of shows because I was hospitalized for I think about the fourth time. And I was like, 'This is what I deal with, and you can't lie.'"
Angelakos' mental health and sexuality are personal matters, yes. But it's important when they make headlines, too.
There is still significant stigma surrounding mental health, which makes asking for help a way more difficult task than it should be. And while acceptance of LGBTQ people is on the rise, we still live in an era where being queer means, in more ways than one, you're treated less than equal.
Passion Pit's Jeff Apruzzese (left), Michael Angelakos (center), and Ian Hultquist (right). Photo by Jerod Harris/Getty Images for MINI USA.
For Angelakos to speak candidly about how he both loved his wife and knew that he was gay speaks volumes about the complexity of sexuality and societal norms — a big gray area many people are trying to find their way through.
Although we live in a world that largely categorizes human sexuality into convenient boxes — man, woman, gay, straight — both gender identity and sexual orientation aren't so simple, as YouTuber Hank Green explains perfectly in one of his videos.
That's why it matters when people like Angelakos speak out about their own experiences: because it helps countless others who don't fit squarely into a box.
Support from fans poured in immediately.
After news broke about his sexuality, the musician assured his Twitter followers there was been a whole lot of love being thrown his way.
From the sounds of it, things are looking up for Angelakos.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."