Woman flawlessly reenacts how pre–holiday visit planning with her mother-in-law should go

Janelle Marie, who has all kinds of videos related to healthy (and unhealthy) in-law/grandparent dynamics, recently tackled an issue that many will soon be experiencing—navigating the holidays. Specifically, she showed how in-laws/grandparents can accommodate their adult kids who might be traveling to multiple households for Thanksgiving.

Spoiler alert: it’s pretty easy.

Marie acts out an imaginary phone conversation where a son named “Jeff” informs his mother that their family will only be at the dinner portion of the event, so that the kiddos can squeeze in a nap. In this faux scenario, the mom simply says, “no problem, thanks for letting me know,” and even offers to have the dinner start a little later, in case that eases any stress.

And…that’s it. No guilt tripping, no passive aggressive comments—just assuming the best in each other and being honest and accommodating.

It might not seem all that radical until you look at the comments section, where so many people lamented the fact that this conversation would likely not happen for them.

“Do mother/mils this easy exist? I can’t even imagine it” one person wrote. Another quipped, “Is this an alternate reality?"

Holiday logistics can feel like emotional landmines for many families, but healthy communication can make it dramatically easier. Experts often emphasize that families don’t need to agree on everything. They just need clear expectations, mutual respect, and a willingness to collaborate instead of control.

Here are a few helpful guidelines Marie’s video indirectly models:

1. Assume good intent.
Most schedule changes aren’t personal. They’re usually about sleep, travel time, or sanity—not about rejecting one side of the family.

2. Be flexible where you can.
Shifting mealtimes, shortening activities, or holding the gathering on a weekend before or after the actual holiday can make celebrations more enjoyable for everyone. Recognize that circumstances change and accept that you may not be able to do everything the same way you used to.

3. Don’t punish honesty.
If an adult child knows they’ll be guilted or shamed for telling the truth, they’ll stop being transparent. And resentment almost always follows.

4. Focus on the time you have.
Some years you might get more, others you might get less. But you can always make the most of whatever time that’s available.

5. Plan with the family. Not for them.
This can help prevent a lot of misunderstandings and disappointment.

And then there’s the role people don’t talk about enough: the spouse, usually the husband in the MIL/daughter-in-law dynamic. A huge amount of stress could be prevented if sons acted as the bridge between their families of origin and the families they’ve created (as “Jeff” did in this instance). When husbands take equal responsibility for communicating boundaries, clarifying the schedule, and gently shutting down disrespect toward their partners, it eases pressure on everyone.

Marie’s simple skit wasn’t meant to be earth-shattering, but for many viewers, it was a glimpse into what holidays could look like with a little emotional maturity. May this become a holiday tradition for all.

And for what it's worth, plenty of viewers also commented that their own MILs do, in fact, act this way. To the in-laws/grandparents out there who do demonstrate this kind of compassion—thank you.