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This wholesome rap song is the ultimate millennial dad anthem

"To all the dads in our generation who are changing what it means to be a father."

@dadgotbars/Instagram

This one goes out to all the millennial dads out there showing up in big ways.

Parenting has evolved, and perhaps we see that most clearly in the way that fatherhood has specifically adapted.

The once “traditional” image of the rigidly stoic father who, when not completely absent, acted as the family disciplinarian, is becoming more and more the relic of a bygone era. And in its place are dads who willingly and happily take equal part in childcare, prioritize emotional connection and essentially are the involved male figure they might have wished for as kids.

And what’s really beautiful about this is not only that future generations have a healthy foundation from which to grow, but that adult men give their own inner child a bit of healing, too. For that, modern dads really do deserve their kudos.

And what better way to do that than through a rap created by a millennial dad himself?

For Father’s Day, actor, rapper and proud girl dad Bret Green (aka “Dad Got Bars” on Instagram) released a delightfully fun but deceptively insightful song titled “Millennial Dad,” commending the next generation of dads who are changing what it means to be a father.

Sharing what inspired the tune, Green told Upworthy, “I realized that our generation was built different when it comes to fatherhood. I had so many friends who were amazing fathers and doing things that our fathers just did not do.”

Green’s lyrics touch on everything from changing diapers to disciplining without physical violence to a newfound enthusiasm for exfoliating, and applauds both the boy dads for “just trying to make a man out of a little boy” and all the girl dads for “showing baby girl what boys to avoid.”

Watch below:

Of course there’s still progress to be made, but it’s no wonder why millennials are being hailed “the best generation of dads.” By and large they’re putting in the work on multiple levels. And that’s cause for celebration, in the form of a rap song or otherwise.

And if you think that’s the only wholesome millennial parent content that Green has to offer in the form of rap songs, guess again. His account is chock full of gems, including an oh-so relatable lament on never ending laundry.

In fact, Green shared with Upworthy that even though he’s technically been rapping since he was 19 years old, inspiration hadn’t really struck until he became a father. Now, the “songs write themselves.” Plus, it’s an opportunity to create “a special memory” with his daughter, whose voice is often featured.

Check out the full version of “Millennial Dad” on Spotify, and give Green a follow on Instagram.

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Compassionate interaction between a frazzled dad and his 6-year-old son has people in tears

Empathy and emotional regulation are powerful to witness.

@mollymikos/TikTok

A 6-year-old and his dad shared a moment of emotional regulation after a toddler meltdown.

Anyone who has parented a spirited "threenager" knows how hard handling toddler tantrums can be. Parents often joke about our wee ones throwing down, because laughter is sometimes the only way to cope. But in reality, it can be extremely disturbing and distressing for the entire household when a family member carries on in a way that feels—or truly is—out of control.

Major tantrums can be especially hard for parents who didn't have good parenting examples themselves. It takes superhuman patience to be the parents we want to be some days, and none of us does it perfectly all the time. When a child is screaming and crying over something irrational and nothing seems to be working to get them to stop, exhausted parents can lose their cool and respond in ways they normally wouldn't.

That's one reason a TikTok video of a father and son captured in the aftermath of an epic toddler tantrum has caught people's attention. Many of us have been in the dad's shoes before, frazzled and shaken by the relentlessness and intensity of a 3-year-old's meltdown. And many of us have been in the son's shoes as well, witnessing a younger sibling's insanity and our parents' struggle to manage the situation.

But the way this father and son support one another is bringing people to tears with its beautiful example of emotional regulation, empathy and connection.

TikTok user @mollymikos shared the video, explaining that their 3-year-old had just thrown a 2 1/2-hour tantrum (which she clarified was actually two tantrums with a 10-minute break in between). "We did not have Unicorn Chopsticks and would not go to the store (where they don’t sell unicorn chopsticks….)," she explained when someone asked what the fit was over. Sounds about right. The tyrannical threes are no joke.

So much to love in this video. First, the 6-year-old, whom Mikos describes as "empathetic" and "a deeply feeling kid," demonstrated impressive self-regulation skills. The way he started taking deep breaths and suggested that he and Dad do some deep breathing together was inspiring. Second, the dad apologized for losing it and explained that they were trying to set a better example as parents, which many parents are far too proud to do. Finally, the kiddo displayed such deep understanding and compassion, it was clear these parents have worked hard to create healthy emotional connections and open communication in their family.

@mollymikos

#selfregulation #meltdowns #threenagers #precociouschildren

Mikos tells Upworthy that she and her husband have been working hard to break the stress cycles that so often get passed down from generation to generation.

"I didn’t realize how much would be brought up by having children," she says. "We are working on repairing and changing the way we interact with our children so that they feel supported instead of shamed."

Mikos says social media has given this generation of parents access to experts, studies and revelations that can help them navigate raising kids with gentle parenting principles. She personally finds inspiration on Instagram from Dr. Becky Kennedy, Janet Lansbury, Conscious Mommy and Eli Harwood. "They’ve changed my life," she says.

People are loving the example Mikos and her husband are setting with—and for—their kids.

"This just goes to show how much of a great job your doing!!!" wrote one commenter. "Toddlers are hard and the fact your 6yo was able to empathize and communicate shows it."

"This is why you’re good parents," shared another. "Your older child can regulate his emotions and is empathetic. That’s amazing at any age and you did that."

"Not me sobbing at 2 am bc this is the healthiest parent-child relationship ever," wrote another. "Keep it up 😭😭💕 yall are doing awesome."

Mikos has been heartened by all the comments on her video. The fact that her husband apologized to their son for losing his patience was particularly moving for a lot of commenters, especially those who had parents who never did that. "Many people have said that they didn't realize parents could apologize to their children," she says. "Yes. Please apologize. They need to know we make mistakes, and that we still love them and are constantly trying to do better."

Apologizing to our kids when we're in the wrong or when we behave in a way we're not proud of demonstrates respect and teaches accountability by example. The fact that this dad is comfortable apologizing is likely a big reason why his son has the emotional tools that he does.

Gentle, compassionate parenting may not instantaneously end a tantrum, but it does pay off with big emotional and relational wins in the long run.


This article originally appeared on 11.12.22

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Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis admit they don't bathe themselves or their kids very often

An interesting approach to cleanliness...

via Wikimedia Commons

The water bill at the Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis residence appears to be pretty low after recent revelations the couple made about their family's bathing habits.

In a recent appearance on Dax Shepard's "Armchair Expert" podcast, they admitted they're not that into bathing themselves or their two children, Dimitri Portwood, 4, and Wyatt Isabelle, 6.

The conversation started when Shepard explained his ongoing disagreement with co-host Monica Padman. The two have dissenting views over whether people should use soap. "You should not be getting rid of all the natural oil on your skin with a bar of soap every day," he said. "It's insane."

Kunis agreed with Shepard and was very candid about her bathing ritual. "I don't wash my body with soap every day," she shared. "But I wash pits and tits and holes and soles."

"I can't believe I'm in the minority here of washing my whole body in the shower," Padman replied. "Who taught you to not wash?"

"I didn't have hot water growing up as a child," Kunis recalled, "so I didn't shower very much anyway." Kunis was born in the then-Soviet controlled Ukrainian city of Chernivtsi in 1983. Her family migrated to America when she was seven.

Kutcher added that he regularly uses soap and water on just his "armpits and crotch" and "nothing else."

Kunis has passed her lax attitude towards bathing on to her children.

"When I had children," she said, "I also didn't wash them every day. I wasn't the parent that bathed my newborns—ever." Shepard agreed, saying that he and wife Kristen Bell only bathe their children as part of a nighttime routine and don't pay much attention to their cleanliness.

"That's how we feel about our children. We're like, 'Oof, something smells,'" Kunis added. Kutcher has a simple rule when it comes to his children and their cleanliness. "Here's the thing — if you can see the dirt on 'em, clean 'em," he says. "Otherwise, there's no point."

While the Kutcher-Kunis clan's approach towards hygiene may not be typical of the average American family, they may not be wrong according to science. Research suggests that children benefit from being exposed to germs early in life.

"This line of thinking, called the 'hygiene hypothesis,' holds that when exposure to parasites, bacteria, and viruses is limited early in life, children face a greater chance of having allergies, asthma, and other autoimmune diseases during adulthood," WebMD says.

Basically, the more your body is exposed to the more it can fight off.

"Just as a baby's brain needs stimulation, input, and interaction to develop normally, the young immune system is strengthened by exposure to everyday germs so that it can learn, adapt, and regulate itself," notes Thom McDade, PhD, associate professor and director of the Laboratory for Human Biology Research at Northwestern University.

As for Kutcher and Kunis, they both share the same attitude when it comes to hygiene so nobody in the relationship has the right to complain if the other is a little funky. If it works for them, who are we to judge?


This article originally appeared on 7.28,.21

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Husband asks the world for help after fallout from wife's secret choice of 'horrible' baby name

Choosing your child's name can get really complicated.

Canva

Unique baby names are definitely trendy. But it can backfire.

There’s a fine line between a unique name and one that sets kids up for a lifetime of ridicule.

On the one hand, maybe it shouldn’t matter what other people think, and parents should pick a name that suits their preferences, consequences be damned. On the other hand, their kid might not appreciate that kind of bravery after enduring years of bullying during childhood, followed constant confusion at Starbucks and truly unenviable work emails once they’re adults.

And this chapter of parenting can be a little stressful—even more stressful if neither partner can agree on a name they both like.

This was the case for a husband who absolutely hated a name his wife so eagerly wished to give their unborn son. But rather than follow the popular “one no, two yeses” rule of baby-naming, where both parents must agree on the name chosen for a child, the wife instead went full steam ahead with her idea.

According to the husband’s account on Reddit, here’s what happened:

“Me (25m) and my wife (23f) are having our first child together. She is currently 9 months pregnant and could give birth anytime in the next couple of weeks. The only major fight we have had throughout her pregnancy happened a couple days ago, and it was about what we were going to name our kid.”

AITA for refusing to let my wife name our kid something stupid?
byu/Public-Praline-3691 inAmItheAsshole

“It all started when we found out the gender of the baby,” he continued. “After we found out we were having a boy we sat down together and made a list. Almost all of the names she suggested were normal, until the one that caused me to write this post. She suggested we name our son Mune.”

Mune. Like…dune an “m?” Or like “mun?” “Moon?” “Money?” “Mew-nay?” So many questions.

“She told me the name was from this movie she watched when she was younger and that it always stuck with her,” the husband explained, saying that when he told her it felt a “little out there” and was worried their son might get made fun of.

After a little back and forth, the couple agreed to take the name Mune off the list. Or so the dad-to-be thought.

“Later on in her pregnancy her mom decided to throw a baby shower as it was her first grandchild. It was fine for the most part until we started to open the gifts. Most of them were normal baby things like diapers and bottles, until we got to her mom’s gift. My wife opened the gift bag and pulled out a blue handmade blanket. It seemed normal enough at first until my wife unfolded it and low and behold there was the name Mune written on the blanket,” he wrote.

The man had tried to keep cool until after the party was over. However, when he confronted his wife about it, all hell seemed to break loose.

“She got defensive and told me that it was a good name and that I was overreacting about it,” he concluded. “I brought up the earlier points and told her it was a stupid name for a kid and if she wanted to name something Mune so bad she could use the name for a dog. She got upset and called her mom to come get her. After she left she called me and told me she wouldn’t be coming back for a while. Everyone I’ve talked to about this has said I’m not the asshole, but now that my wife has been gone and I've been thinking about it I feel like I could have handled the situation better.”

Yikes.

parenting, baby names, unique baby names

Parenting is nothing is full of compromises

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While the husband might have regretted his actions, public opinion overwhelmingly sided with him.

One mom wrote, “Naming a baby is a 2 yes or 1 no situation. You do not name a child something your partner does not agree with. You find a compromise. This is the start of many necessary compromises in life and it is a total AH move to unilaterally decide on a child's name despite your partner's misgivings…She is absolutely not mature enough for motherhood if she can not find a reasonable compromise on this.”

Another added “this is a child, not a goldfish. There are consequences and repercussions to choosing a name that is very unusual to begin with.... To go behind the other parent's back and tell a grandparent what the name is going to be, that is unacceptable.”

Others noted how the wife and her mom “pulled a power play,” which “in itself is an a**hole move.” In addition, many pointed out that running away from the conflict (leaving to go to mom’s house) might have not been the best way to handle the situation.

“Leaving so she doesn’t have to face the argument is actually a form of abuse if it happens a lot,” one person commented. “She may just have baby brain and be overreacting due to hormones, but that is red flag behavior of it can’t be dismissed for reasons beyond her control.

baby names, parenting

What's ina name? A lot, apparently.

Canva

And if there’s any doubt as to just how damaging weird name can be, take it from this person:

“My name has prevented me from doing anything that would have my name called out in a crowd of people. Never tried sports. Military was a no go. I don't even want to apply for higher positions at work because I don't want to have meetings in closed rooms where people might call my name.

“…Being forced to grow up with a weird name discouraged me from a lot of things and I began resenting my parents for thinking they were being creative. I had to live with it through grade school and high school. The ridicule didn't end until the damage was already done.”

Raising a kid together is full of making compromises, prioritizing healthy communication, and honoring commitments, none of which are easy 100 percent of the time. But if couples can’t learn how to navigate these issues, then disagreeing on names is the least of their problems. We can all agree that parenting as true partners means men often need to step up their games. But it takes two for parenting to truly flourish and that includes respect your partner and making choices that are good for the entire family. Together.


This article originally appeared on 10.19.23

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