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New 'empty-nester' dad has a bittersweet realization when he goes shopping without kids

"It hit me really hard."

jeff pearlman, empter-nesters, showtime
via JeffPearlmanAuthor/TikTok (used with permission)

Jeff Pearlman has a big realization at his local supermarket.

A father of 2 who recently sent his last child off to college had the new reality hit him like a ton of bricks while visiting the supermarket. The realization came when he saw parents picking out Halloween pumpkins with their kids and he was at the store alone.

“I used to pick out pumpkins with my kids,” Jeff Pearlman said on TikTok. “And I'm here and I see dads and moms with their kids in the cart and it used to be me with my kids in the cart. And, it actually hit me really hard, that the house is empty and little things that you take for granted as a parent. Taking your kids to the supermarket.”

Jeff Pearlman is the New York Times best-selling author of 10 books, including "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Times of Bo Jackson" and "Showtime," which was turned into "Winning Time," a hit HBO series. He also hosts a podcast, “Two Writers Slinging Yang.”

Pearlman used the moment to remind other parents that they would soon be in the same position and should appreciate having children in the house while they can.

@jeffpearlmanauthor

Empty nester blues: A very real (and sad) thing. #emptynesters #emptynest #freebirds #sadness #college #writersoftiktok

“Maybe it seems like a pain in the a** in the moment,” Pearlman admitted. “You’d rather just leave them at home or whatever. But now I'm here by myself in the supermarket. And there's not that much to buy actually because I don't have two kids at home anymore ... and I'm looking at Halloween candy, but they're not going to give a crap. They're not here.”

“It just changes everything and it is an adjustment,” Pearlman continued. “I just want to say, if you live with your kids at home, please appreciate them and understand it goes very fast.”

Upworthy spoke with Pearlman and asked him if he could have better prepared himself for the empty-nester blues. “I don’t think it’s possible to truly prepare,” he told Upworthy. “You pack everything up and say your goodbyes. But then you’re left with this void. It’s jarring. The only thing that helps is time, natural readjustment, and the knowledge that they’re happy, which is how it’s supposed to be. I remind myself all the time that it would be much sadder if my kids were home and unmotivated.”



The video struck a chord with many people on TikTok, where it’s been seen over 400,000 times.

"I bought my son’s favorite snacks yesterday and didn’t even realize until I got home. Started sobbing," KMD wrote in the comments. "I’m still not over it! I just told my daughter today that I’d kill to be making their school lunches again. I used to hate it and now I miss it so much," Corinne added.

"I’m in the same boat. It’s the most painful thing I’ve ever felt. I feel lost but hoping it gets easier," Arblc20 admitted.

What is empty nest syndrome?

Empty nest syndrome is a "normal feeling," Amy Morin, LCSW, writes. She says it's defined by a loss of purpose and frustration over a lack of control. It can cause anxiety and marital stress. But the good news is that, in time, most parents will get over the feeling and embrace the new phase in life. "With time, having an empty nest will get easier. You'll get used to your child being in charge of their own life and you will develop a new sense of normal in your life," Morwin writes.

Dan Brennan, MD, says that new empty-nesters should focus on the positives of having a child-free home. He recommends that empty-nesters take advantage of their free time by taking classes, making a few extra dollars by starting a part-time job or volunteering for an organization they care about. “Realize that your role as a parent has changed, not ended,” he writes at WebMD.

The commenters noted that the pain of being an empty nester often evolves into the joy of being a grandparent. “Once my parents became grandparents, their purpose came back and the light in their eyes,” kearraarose wrote. “I think this is why grandkids are so fun to enjoy … we know it doesn’t last,” juliabbell added.

Pearlman had difficulty making it through the Halloween-themed supermarket after dropping his last child off at college. But being an empty-nester isn’t all pain and suffering. “I have full usage of my car again,” he told Upworthy. “And the steering wheel is clean.”

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Pop Culture

Cool video shows why everyone used to wear hats and then suddenly stopped

The change started around 1960.

via Warmbru Curiosity/YouTube

When did everyone stop wearing hats?

If you see old newsreel footage of men in the office or on commuter trains from the advent of the motion picture camera to the early ‘60s, nearly everyone is wearing a hat. Hats were just as common for women in that era. For a woman to go out without a hat in the first half of the 20th century was akin to going out without clothes.

The funny thing is that everyone’s headgear is so similar in the old-timey footage that it makes previous generations look like big-time conformists. Then, in the early ‘60s, everything changed, and men and women started to go out in public with their hair exposed. Why did such a big aspect of fashion seem to change overnight?

Warmbru Curiosity investigated the question recently in a popular YouTube video. Warmbru’s channel is a lighthearted look at some of the more unusual people and events from our history and how they have influenced the world in which we live.

Why did people stop wearing hats?

Warmbru says fashion changed dramatically after World War II, when people in developed countries began to care less about expressing their social status. “This was especially true among the younger generation the rise of youth culture in the 1950s and 1960s emphasized rebellion against traditional norms, including formal dress codes,” the YouTuber says.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

Another big reason for the change in fashion was technology. Cars became the preferred mode of transportation for many after World War II and indoor environments became more hospitable. “People spent far less time exposed to the elements as people increasingly moved to urban areas and started using cars,” Warmbru says. “The practicality of wearing hats diminishes. Hats can be cumbersome in cars and on public transport, improvements in heating and air conditioning reduce the need for hats to provide warmth.”

Warmbru adds that President John F. Kennedy, elected in 1960, rarely wore a hat and his decision to go bareheaded became associated with modernity. Further, in 1963, the mop-topped Beatles proudly flaunted their hatless heads as they shook them while singing, “Wooooo.” Hat-wearing among women began to decline around the same time as the restrictive and complex headgear clashed with the burgeoning women’s liberation movement.



The decline in hat purchases meant that manufacturers closed and the headgear became harder to come by. This reduced availability further contributed to the decline in hat-wearing. As fewer people wore hats, there became a greater demand for high-quality hair products and services. “Why spend a fortune at the hairdressers or the barbers just to cover the end result with a hat?” Warmbru asks.

Ultimately, there were many reasons why people stopped wearing hats. It appears that it was a combination of technology, influential people such as Kennedy and The Beatles, and the overwhelming mood of change that swept most of the Western world in the 1960s. But if one thing is true about fashion, it goes in cycles. So, it seems that hats may be ready for their big comeback.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Pop Culture

14 things that will remain fun no matter how old you get

Your inner child will thank you for doing at least one of these.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Swings can turn 80-year-olds into 8-year-olds in less that two seconds.

When we’re kids, fun comes so easily. You have coloring books and team sports and daily recess...so many opportunities to laugh, play, and explore. As we get older, these activities get replaced by routine and responsibility (and yes, at times, survival). Adulthood, yuck.

Many of us want to have more fun, but making time for it still doesn’t come as easily as it did when we were kids—whether that’s because of guilt, a long list of other priorities, or because we don’t feel it’s an age-appropriate thing to long for.

Luckily, we’ve come to realize that fun isn’t just a luxury of childhood, but really a vital aspect of living well—like reducing stress, balancing hormone levels, and even improving relationships.

More and more people of all ages are letting their inner kids out to play, and the feelings are delightfully infectious.

You might be wanting to instill a little more childlike wonder into your own life, and not sure where to start. Never fear, the Internet is here. Reddit user SetsunaSaigami asked people, “What always remains fun no matter how old you get?” People’s (surprisingly profound) answers were great reminders that no matter how complex our lives become, simple joy will always be important.

Here are 14 timeless pleasures to make you feel like a kid again:

1. Playing with dogs

via GIPHY

Doggos are basically furry children, so this one’s a no-brainer.

2. Legos

via GIPHY

The only thing NOT fun about Legos is stepping on one. Everything else is pure magic.

3. Popping bubble wrap

via GIPHY

With each satisfying “pop” sound, just imagine tiny bursts of dopamine flooding the brain.

4. Riding roller coasters

via GIPHY

While it’s true that riding roller coasters might become less physically possible with age, barring that limitation—you’re never too old to ride one.

5. Arcades

via GIPHY

Playing video games at home is cool, but there's a special thrill in seeing an arcade absolutely buzzing with different game sounds, colored lights, and other people enjoying themselves.

6. Go-karts

via GIPHY

Because speeding in real life is irresponsible.

7. Pillow fights

via GIPHY

A quintessential sleepover activity that can easily be done with a roommate. Bonus points for surprise attacks.

8. Dinosaurs

via GIPHY

Whether in toy or nugget form, dinosaurs are a delight.

9. Dressing up for Halloween

via GIPHY

Halloween costumes can go from a fun form of playful expression in our younger years to a source of self-image issues in our teens and beyond (as so many things in life do). Hopefully though, dressing up for the spooky season can be a highlight on the calendar.

10. Water slides

via GIPHY

Roller coasters in liquid form!

11. Dolls

via GIPHY

We no longer have to hide our passion for toys under the serious moniker of “collecting.” Playing with dolls is a fun practice in storytelling and has even shown a very specific set of therapeutic benefits. Permission, granted!

12. Daydreaming

via GIPHY

Remember peacefully imagining made-up worlds while staring up at the clouds? Those were good times.

13. Swings

via GIPHY

Whether you are a traditionalist or prefer to go crazy and twist yourself up for some epic spins, a swing set is a perfect place to let your inner child out and get some exercise.

14. Taking sick days

via GIPHY

Everything is more fun when you do it during a time you technically should be somewhere else.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Joy

A stray dog saves her dying puppy’s life by bringing her to the veterinarian in Istanbul

A dog's motherly instinct and trust in humans saved a puppy's life

@beylikduzu_alfa_veteriner

A stray dog brought her lifeless puppy to the doorstep of a local veterinarian clinic, saving its life.

In the Beylikdüzü district in Istanbul, security camera footage showed a stray dog holding a puppy in its mouth and bringing it to the doorstep of a local veterinary clinic. The veterinarian that answered the door found the puppy lifeless and took it in while the pup’s mother followed.

The puppy received emergency treatment, as it was dying from a slow heartbeat due to the cold outside. Throughout the treatment, the mother dog stayed at her puppy’s side. Thanks to quick action and care, the puppy survived and is being cared for at the clinic alongside its mother. This puppy turned out to be related to another puppy that was brought in by other animal lovers beforehand, with the belief that it was the sole survivor of its litter.

"We thought all of them had died. It turns out there was one sibling that survived,” said veterinarian and clinic owner, Baturalp Oğhan in an interview. “When our technician noticed the situation, he brought it inside. We realized the puppy's heart was beating. We placed it in intensive care. It is currently continuing treatment with its sibling."


A veterinarian treating a puppy on a table in a clinic as a mother dog watches nearbyThe puppy's mother stayed with her child as the veterinarian administered treatment.@beylikduzu_alfa_veteriner


While it is unfortunate that the rest of the litter had passed, this mother dog’s actions not only saved one of her pups but had reunited her with another one.

According to World Population Review, there is a pet dog in 30% of all households globally. There are 90 million pet dogs housed in the United States alone. Bear in mind, that is counting the dogs that are housed and cared for by humans. Just imagine how many dogs are still out there like that mother dog, along with the number of dogs that sadly didn’t make it like that lucky puppy.

Two puppies eating out of a bowlThe puppy is recovering nicely alongside its sibling.@beylikduzu_alfa_veteriner


While it is remarkable that this mother dog, out of memory, instinct, desperation, or a combination of those traits took her puppy to the clinic, the onus cannot be on dogs themselves to receive the help and care they need. Fortunately, there are several animal shelters and clinics that can help care for these animals, but they still need to find ways to get there. Not all of them have smart dog mothers that can get them to a helpful human vet.

Puppy sleeping against a mother dogThe puppy lives thanks to its mother's quick action and trust in local veterinarians.@beylikduzu_alfa_veteriner

If you wish to help out a stray animal, such as a dog or cat, there are some steps you can take to be prepared if the situation presents itself. The Humane Society has a bunch of quality tips, such as keeping your car with supplies like fresh water, bowls, pet food, heavy blankets,and such to keep the animal comfortable while waiting for animal control to arrive at the scene or if you choose to transport them yourself to a nearby shelter. Before you stock up, you should research to see if there are any state or local laws regarding housing lost or stray animals to make sure you’re following the legal methods.

We share a lot of space with “man’s best friend” and the least we can do is be a best friend back to them, especially when they’re in need.

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Celebrity

Bruce Willis makes first public appearance since dementia diagnosis to thank first responders

"Bruce never missed a chance to show his gratitude with a heartfelt handshake and a 'thank you for your service'.”

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Bruce Willis | Bruce Willis speaking at the 2018 San Diego C… | Flickr

Beloved actor Bruce Willis has been spotted in public for the first time since he was diagnosed with with frontotemporal dementia (FTD) in 2023. Willis, 69, retired from acting in 2022 after he was diagnosed with the language disorder aphasia and has rarely been seen. However, he did not miss an opportunity to express how grateful he is to Los Angeles first responders for their service during the recent southern California wildfires.

In a black and white video shared via Instagram on January 15 by his wife Emma Heming Willis (the couple married in 2009), the actor can be seen shaking hands, posing for photos and chatting up first responders. "Spotting a first responder, Bruce never missed a chance to show his gratitude with a heartfelt handshake and a “thank you for your service.” Yesterday was no different ❤️🤍💙," she wrote in the post's caption. The emotional video was set to Led Zeppelin's song "Going to California".

The video garnered incredible support from Willis' family and fans. His daughter with ex-wife Demi Moore, Tallulah Willis, wrote, "This makes my heart so freaking full." (Moore and Willis have three daughters: Rumer, Scout and Tallulah. They were married from 1987 to 2000.)

Another fan commented, "This is so sweet 🥹 a reflection of his core personality 🫶🏽." And another added, "What do you want to bet that some of these cops joined the force because as kids they wanted to be just like John McClane? Yippee Ki-yay, Mr. Willis!!! 💖❤️💖"

Heming Willis, who has become an advocate for FTD, has continued to share updates about the Die Hard actor on her Instagram page. On December 29, 2024, she shared a photo of the couple from their wedding in Turks and Caicos to honor the couple's 17th anniversary.


"17 years of us ❤️Anniversaries used to bring excitement — now, if I’m honest, they stir up all the feelings, leaving a heaviness in my heart and a pit in my stomach," she wrote in the photo's caption. "I give myself 30 minutes to sit in the ‘why him, why us,’ to feel the anger and grief. Then I shake it off and return to what is. And what is… is unconditional love. I feel blessed to know it, and it’s because of him. I’d do it all over again and again in a heartbeat 💞."

And in November 2024, she shared a sweet photo of him carrying their daughter, Evelyn, on his shoulders as they walked the streets of New York City. (Hemming Willis shares two daughters, Mabel and Evelyn, with the Pulp Fiction actor.)

During an interview with Katie Couric for Town & Country in November 2024, Willis Heming shared more about the symptoms that led to Willis' diagnosis. "For Bruce, it started with language. He had a severe stutter as a child. He went to college, and there was a theater teacher who said, 'I’ve got something that’s going to help you.' From that class, Bruce realized that he could memorize a script and be able to say it without stuttering. That’s what propelled him into acting," she shared. "Bruce has always had a stutter, but he has been good at covering it up. As his language started changing, it [seemed like it] was just a part of a stutter, it was just Bruce. Never in a million years would I think it would be a form of dementia for someone so young."

Family

Mom’s reaction to toddler giving herself a haircut shows the power of 'gentle parenting'

"Seriously, this is impressive parenting."

Designerluxury4you TikTok

Mom's reaction to toddler's self haircut

An unsupervised toddler with a pair of scissors is nightmare fuel for parents. Will you find shredded books, a hole in your new couch, or a pile of lopped off hair when you emerge from your quick trip to the potty?

Toddlers may still be very young, but they are fast and have a knack for getting ahold of unapproved things quickly, usually to innocently inflict maximum destruction. TikTok user, @designerluxury4you, experienced just that in a shared video of their toddler proudly showing off the haircut she had given herself.

Experiencing your child giving themselves or their siblings a haircut seems to be a rite of passage for parents. But the way this mom handled the discovery is showing how gentle parenting is changing the game. It's pretty safe to say that most parents would react in a more expressive way and immediately remove the scissors from the child's hands. This mom responded in the kindest and most respectful way you can imagine and maybe the Internet is a little better for having seen it.

When the mom walks in to see her daughter holding a pair of child's scissors, she calmly asks, "What'd you do?" to which the now mullet-sporting toddler explains her actions. The little girl, Max, says, "I cutted all of it off and I put it on here." While the toddler is finishing her story we get a quick glimpse of the pile of blonde hair sitting on the nightstand. This is the point that seems to divide the commenters because the reaction isn't anger or even a stern tone. Instead, this shocked mom says, "Oh, wow. You did a really good job, Max."

The mom asked if her daughter felt better since her hair was no longer in her face, to which Max answered, "Yep." Max was given several options, including going to the hairdresser to fix it. The video cuts off before we find out the toddler's choice, but the mom's reaction was the topic of discussion in the comments.

One person wrote, "Seriously, this is impressive parenting. What a gift you are to her."

Another said, "Wow, you handled that so well lol she's so adorable."

Others were confused and more critical of the mom's calm reaction and lack of consequences. Someone wrote, "I just can't with gentle parenting. She lost me when she said no but allowed it anyway."

A different user expressed confusion, writing, "Not knocking gentle parenting but at the end of the day how does she learn this was wrong and not to do it again?"

There were multiple comments reminding people that even though the girl is a toddler, it's still her hair and she should get to decide what to do with it.

Watch the video below. Do you think this mom handled this situation well?

@designerluxury4u

Talent #gamimy #kidsoftiktok #girlpower #beautician ##parentsoftiktok

This story originally appeared two years ago.

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