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Woman is inundated with kindness as she supports her husband's coming out journey

"I'm confused, I'm sad but I'm also happy."

homophobia; coming out story; kindness; support gay husband; supporting husband coming out; lavender marriage
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Woman supporting gay husband receives outpouring of kindness

Nothing prepares you for every scenario life has to offer. There's no giant book titled "in case this happens" to guide you through all of life's unpredictable, knock-the-wind-out-of-your-lungs, earth-shattering moments. So we all do the best that we can and hope for the best or at the very least hope for forgiveness if we mess it up.

Some people seem to have a fairytale life with an adoring spouse, 2.5 kids and a dog but even those seemingly perfect couples are not immune from life pulling to rug from beneath them. Jasmine Collins is one of those young moms that seemed to be living the American dream. At 28, she is a stay at home mom to two children under the age of two, married to her high school sweetheart.

The two have been together for over 12 years, but recently her husband shared that he was gay. This revelation would send many people into a spiral that could result in hurtful words and anger. Collins' deep love for her husband is causing her to take a completely different approach.

The young mom took to social media at the encouragement of her husband to share their story. Collins didn't know anyone who had been through this life altering situation and was hoping to find support as well as let others know that they aren't alone. She uploaded a tearful video to social media that shows he sleeping baby on her chest while she shares the news.

"I know that a lot of people have been messaging me asking what's going on, why I'm moving out, and it's because I just found out that my husband and the man that I've been with since high school, for 12 years. We have two kids together and he just let me know that he's gay and he's been gay. He's been trying to fake it but he just can't anymore," Collins shares through tears.

people gathering near building during daytime Photo by Hannah Voggenhuber on Unsplash

That's enough to knock anyone off kilter and though the mom is hurting, she is also supporting her husband's desire to live his truth.

Collins admits to feeling confused as she soaks in the shocking information, saying, "I'm feeling so many things. I'm confused, I'm angry. I'm sad but I'm also happy. I'm happy that he can finally live his life and he doesn't have to hide himself anymore."

@itsjasminecollins

Starting over ar 28. From a SAHM to a divorced single mom of two under two. #husband #wife #divorce #startingover

People may wonder why someone who is gay would marry someone who is straight but the truth is, there are many reasons that this may occur. The concept of marrying someone with a different sexual orientation as you is referred to as a "mixed orientation marriage." This can happen if a bisexual or pansexual person marries someone who is straight or gay. It doesn't matter if both partners in the relationship are of the same sex because one partner doesn't identify as gay.

Mixed orientation marriages can also happen if one person is gay and marries a straight person. Entering into a marriage like this knowingly is referred to as a "Lavender Marriage." But not everyone realizes they're in a relationship like this which can lead to heartbreak down the road. The most common reasons someone would hide their homosexuality to enter into a straight presenting relationship is due to societal standards, internalized homophobia and the desire to have a family.

There's no way to determine if Collins' husband knew in high school that he was gay and assumed his orientation would change by marrying a woman or if he himself discovered it after getting married. Only he would be able to answer that question but it seems right now the pair are most focused on how to move forward in the most supportive way.

The mom of two is receiving an outpouring of kindness and encouragement as she navigates this difficult chapter in her life. Some women are angry for her while others share their stories or simply encourage her to keep showing up.

"Girl you don't have to be supportive or understanding. You have to take care of your mental health and your kids first. Prioritize yourself first," one person writes.

"Girl find a support group. I can't imagine the confusion and betrayal. Your happiness for him shows what kind of woman you are. Take care mama," another encourages.

" That must be so hard. And you still finding it in your heart to be happy shows you truly have a great heart and genuinely love him. Keep your head up," someone else says.

"I'm sorry he waited so long to tell you and give you false hope. You're going to make it through this and find someone who can love you and all of you," a commenter shares.

difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations desk decor Photo by Nik on Unsplash

The encouraging and supportive words continued to pour into the comments hoping to add a little bit of light in the dark storm this mom is facing. Someone offers, "ohh mama, I'm sorry you have to deal with this. You're such a good person for being supportive, but you're also grieving the future you once had in mind and a person who was with you for so long."

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Ontario teen says he'll live in 'modular home' invention for a year to prove it can end homelessness

He's already invented a wooden car.

ideas, homelessness, prodigy, social work, solutions
Photo credit: @ribalzebian on Instagram

Ribal Zebian is going to test a house he designed by living in it for a year.

Ribal Zebian, a student from the city of London in Ontario, Canada, already made headlines last year when he built an electric car out of wood and earned a $120,000 scholarship from it. Now, he's in the news again for something a little different. Concerned with homelessness in his hometown, Zebian got to work creating a different kind of affordable housing made from fiberglass material. In fact, he’s so confident in his idea that the 18-year-old plans on living in it for a year to test it out himself.

Currently an engineering student at Western University, Zebian was concerned by both the rising population of the unhoused in his community and the rising cost of housing overall. With that in mind, he conjured up a blueprint for a modular home that would help address both problems.

Zebian’s version of a modular home would be made of fiberglass panels and thermoplastic polyethylene terephthalate (PET) foam. He chose those materials because he believes they can make a sturdy dwelling in a short amount of time—specifically in just a single day.

“With fiberglass you can make extravagant molds, and you can replicate those,” Zebian told CTV News. “It can be duplicated. And for our roofing system, we’re not using the traditional truss method. We’re using actually an insulated core PET foam that supports the structure and structural integrity of the roof.”

Zebian also believes these homes don’t have to be purely utilitarian—they can also offer attractive design and customizable features to make them personal and appealing.

“Essentially, what I’m trying to do is bring a home to the public that could be built in one day, is affordable, and still carries some architecturally striking features,” he said to the London Free Press. “We don’t want to be bringing a house to Canadians that is just boxy and that not much thought was put into it.”

Beginning in May 2026, Zebian is putting his modular home prototype to the test by living inside of a unit for a full year with the hope of working out any and all kinks before approaching manufacturers.

“We want to see if we can make it through all four seasons- summer, winter, spring, and fall,” said Zebian. “But that’s not the only thing. When you live in something that long and use it, you can notice every single mistake and error, and you can optimize for the best experience.”

While Zebian knows that his modular homes aren't a long-term solution to either the homeless or housing crisis, he believes they could provide an inexpensive option to help people get the shelter they need until certain policies are reformed so the unhoused can find affordable permanent dwellings.

@hard.knock.gospel

What to buy for the homeless at the grocery store. 🛒 Most people get it wrong. After being there myself, these are the survival items that actually matter 💯 The 2nd to last one is about more than survival—it’s about DIGNITY. We are all one circumstance away from the same shoes 🙏 SAVE this for your next grocery run. 📌 IG@hardknockgospel Substack@ Outsiders_Anonymous #homelessness #helpingothers #kindness #payitforward #learnontiktok

Zebian’s proposal and experiment definitely inspires others to try to help, too. If you wish to lend a hand to the unhoused community in your area in the United States, but don’t know where to look, you can find a homeless shelter or charity near you through here. Whether it’s through volunteering or through a donation, you can help make a difference.

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Doctor reveals the 1-minute daily hack that can radically improve public speaking skills

It all starts with putting a pen in your mouth.

pen drill, life hack, speech tips, enunciation, pronunciation
Photo credit: Canva

Want to speak better? Put a pen in your mouth.

Ever been told that you mumble? Or that your way of speaking is quiet or lacking confidence? It could be affecting you in a range of situations, from asking someone out to giving a presentation at work or interviewing for a job. Well, a behavior researcher has a solution for you: put a pen in your mouth.

Behavior expert and speaker Dr. Shadé Zahrai shared a technique in a social media video that could help people who mumble, rush through speeches, or generally struggle to enunciate when speaking aloud. She recommends taking a clean pen and placing it horizontally in your mouth, like a horse biting a bridle. Then take out a book and read it aloud to yourself for one minute, even overpronouncing some words if you need to. After a minute has passed, take the pen out of your mouth and continue reading the rest of the page. Doing this "Pen Drill" once a day should help you speak more clearly and effectively overall.

@shadezahrai

I promise you - so this for 60 seconds and you’ll enunciate better.

This may sound silly, but there's solid reasoning behind it. Because you're trying to hear yourself clearly while speaking with a pen in your mouth, you naturally slow down as your mouth opens wider than usual. This makes your speech and enunciation clearer by forcing you to slow down and articulate each word. A side benefit is that speaking slowly and enunciating clearly makes you appear more calm, confident, and authoritative.

@joseczuniga

Try this pen trick to enunciate better and get a deeper more confident voice #josezuniga

There are additional benefits beyond clearer speech. Content creator Jose Zuniga claims the technique can help men deepen their voices. Zuniga says that when men speak from their chest rather than their throat during the "Pen Drill," the wider mouth opening allows them to speak at a lower pitch than usual. Singers and vocal coaches also recommend putting a pen in your mouth in order to reduce vocal strain.

@sophiesaidcoaching

A tip guarenteed to help with vocal strain!! Just grab a pen or a chopstick #vocalcoach #singing #singer

Speaking clearly is incredibly beneficial, not only because it helps you be understood and get what you want, but also because it makes you appear more eloquent and intelligent. Speaking in a clear, calm way makes you sound confident, which helps people believe your words and arguments more than if they were delivered meekly, filled with "ums" and "uhs." Combined with strong body language, it can mean the difference between being believable and being believed.

"Clear speech signals calm authority, and calm authority is magnetic," explains Zahrai in her video. "You don't sound rushed, you don't sound unsure, you sound like someone who expects to be listened to."

@gentlemens_collective

To be become a better speaker FAST… slow down.

If you want to improve your speech, whether to reduce mumbling, slow a rushed, worried pace, or sound more confident, put a pen in your mouth and swallow your pride (but not the pen!). With time and practice, it could change your speech patterns into ones people clearly understand and feel compelled to listen to.

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Mom realizes she's been using the 'heavy' setting on her washer wrong for years—and fellow moms are shook

"Today years old when I realize why my blankets are sopping wet."

washer, washing machine setting, how to use washing machine, laundry, laundry tips
Image courtesy of @granolabarpan/Instagram (with permission)

Stay-at-home mom Catrina shares shock at learning what the 'heavy' setting on her washer means.

Knocking out loads of laundry is a feeling of accomplishment that is unmatched. Depending on what needs to be washed, washing machines offer a variety of settings for the ideal clean. But even the most seasoned laundry pros can admit that they don't fully understand how to use them properly.

One stay-at-home mom shared her funny and relatable washing machine mistake. Catrina (@granolabarpan) got the shock of a lifetime when she realized that she had been using the "heavy" setting on her washer wrong for years.

"POV: today years old when it clicks why my blankets are sopping wet!!! I thought HEAVY meant heavy items being washed," she wrote in the video's overlay.

"Heavy on my machine means heavily soiled," she went on to add in the comments. "I thought it meant the stuff I was putting in the machine was heavy in weight/pounds."

Some moms are also realizing this for the first time. "Ok.. so I am 66 years old learning this???!! I always thought that heavy meant weight also😂," one person commented. Another person wrote, "Well I was today years old when I learned what heavy meant too…😂"

Others expressed confusion with so many settings, and reminiscing on simpler times. "Wait a minute. 😂. I think I need to for once go and read the manual because I have been wondering about all of the options," another user wrote. And another chimed in, "I want my old $250 3 options hot/warm/cold on/off washer back. It didn’t die it rusted out but took 25yrs to do it. I had 5 kids, plus my ex in-laws living with me."

Washing machine settings, explained

Struggling to understand the settings on your washing machine? You're not alone.

"Knowing these settings helps avoid common laundry mistakes, such as using the heavy cycle for heavy fabric weight instead of heavy soil, which can lead to ineffective cleaning or damage over time," Vanessa Ruiz, a professional organizer at Sparkly Maid San Antonio, tells Upworthy.

These are five washing machine settings and how they work:

1. Normal/Regular Cycle
Ruiz explains that this is your typical setting for day-to-day loads such as t-shirts, jeans, sheets, and underwear.

"These laundry loads are typically washed in warm water and the setting is rinsed with medium spin speeds through agitation in order to properly clean moderately soiled garments," she says. "This cycle is safe enough to wash a variety of different fabric content with a somewhat dirty load."

2. Delicate/Gentle Cycle
Ruiz notes that the delicate cycle is created specifically for delicate fabrics—lingerie, silk, lace, or embellished clothing—that may become damaged in a normal or regular wash.

"This cycle will use moderate spin speeds through gentle agitation to thoroughly dry clean and not damage clothes too easily," says Ruiz. "This is the preferred cycle when laundry items that require extra care or are labeled 'delicate' or 'hand wash' need to be washed."

3. Heavy Duty Cycle
The heavy duty cycle is specifically for heavily soiled items like work clothes, kitchen towels, and bedding.

"This setting uses higher water temperatures, longer wash times, and powerful agitation to remove stubborn dirt and grime. It’s perfect for those tough laundry jobs, but not recommended for delicate fabrics," explains Ruiz.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

4. Bulky/Bedding Cycle
This cycle is often confused with "heavy."

"This cycle accommodates larger, heavier items that absorb a lot of water, such as comforters, pillows, and sleeping bags," says Ruiz. "It uses more water, medium spin speeds, and longer wash times to thoroughly clean bulky items without causing damage or imbalance."

5. Quick Wash
In a rush? This is the perfect setting to use.

"It is an accelerated wash cycle designed for small loads of lightly soiled clothes, usually lasting 15 to 40 minutes," says Ruiz. "It’s great for when you need clean clothes fast and can save energy compared to longer cycles."

This article originally appeared last year.

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People share the 18 best cleaning and organizing tips they've learned from housekeepers

"Baseboards wiped with a dryer sheet 🙏🏻."

housekeeper, housekeepers, housekeeping, housekeeping tips, housekeeping advice
Photo credit: Canva

People share tips from housekeepers that they do to keep their homes organized and clean.

Keeping a clean house is not easy. Approximately 21% of Americans report that they find cleaning tasks overwhelming according to a survey from the American Cleaning Institute, and approximately 10% of Americans enlist extra help to keep their homes spotless from housekeepers, notes the Home Cleaning Centers of America.

In an online discussion about cleaning tips on Reddit, people shared the most impactful housekeeping advice they've gleaned from housekeepers that have helped them keep their homes not just clean, but free from clutter.

"When I think of a clean home, it’s not just a wiped down surface; it’s tidy, organized, decluttered and presentable," one person wrote. "These tips contribute to the feel of a tidy, intentional and presentable home."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

These are 18 helpful housekeeping tips that will help you keep your home orderly and sparkling clean.

"I wrap my phone charger through my bed frame so it’s always easy to grab. It used to just hang on the ground. It was life changing when I first got into bed and saw my housekeeper did this for me." - Bubbly_Picture_9876

"I open ALL blinds and curtains. I used to clean but keep it pretty dim, but opening ALL blinds makes a huge difference! Feels so much cleaner immediately." - Bubbly_Picture_9876

"[Having a handheld vacuum]. LIFE CHANGING!!! Taking out the vacuum was a pain so I did it when crumbs would accumulate. Having a small one in the kitchen drawer makes it so easy, so I don’t mind quickly vacuuming crumbs and dirt whenever I see them." - Bubbly_Picture_9876

"Wipe down the bathroom surfaces with toilet paper before cleaning to get the dust up. Then clean. So much quicker. Even better - cut a small piece of a disposable duster off and use it to dust the toilet first. It works SO well and gets in the weird nooks and crannies of the exterior toilet where dust and whatnot accumulates." - Advanced-Public4935, dodie437

"I worked as a housekeeper for a while and picked up the habit of vacuuming the bathroom before cleaning anything. It picks up dust, hair, and any other miscellaneous things you might not want to grab with bare hands." - iufgv

"Baseboards wiped with a dryer sheet 🙏🏻." - dphiloo

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"LIGHT SWITCHES! It’s the first thing I notice in homes and I would say in general one of the big 'blind spots' for people. And refrigerator and oven handles, wipe daily with a damp micro fiber and you’ll notice such a nicer feeling grabbing them." - ccoopp10

"Scrub the door that goes from the house to garage. It is usually filthy, and we rarely think of it cuz guests don’t usually use it." - ExpressionKey2820

"I have a step to climb to get into my bed. My ladies put my slippers there. It made me feel cared for, like when I was a child." - Lily_V_

"I clean off the counters / wipe them down, then sweep, BEFORE doing the dishes. I always get water on the floor while doing dishes and then either mess up my broom / sweeping bc it’s wet or have to get on my hands and knees to clean up the water and waste paper towels or a dirty up a towel. So my order goes: counters, sweep, dishes, mop." - Sanch0panza

"Dishwashing soap to clean my glass shower stall." - wildblueberry9

"Dusting & disinfecting the underside of the toilet. So between the seat and the floor. So many people miss this area and it's like night and day. Most don't notice dust there because you'd have to get up close to see it, or deliberately look at the underside of the toilet, but once it is dusted you can tell right away from a distance. The whole bathroom feels so clean." - DaisyFart

"Invest in a steam cleaner. It cleans everything." - iNerdRage

steam cleaner, steam cleaning, steam cleaners, steam cleaning rug, using steam cleaner Woman uses a steam cleaner on a rug.Photo credit: Canva

"I found some cable clips that I love for my cell phone, iPad, and watch charging cables. They’re attached to the side of my nightstand. Go to Amazon and search for 'cable clips.' Then I can find the charging cable I need within reach." - blueSnowfkake

"When my fridge starts running low on food and I’m purging I do a quick inside wipe down / sink wash of a couple of fridge shelves and also wipe down the inside and around the fridge." - No-Rush8716

"I also got some rubber gap covers that cover the slit in between the stove and counter. It’s been a game changer because it keeps that spot clear. It use to drive me crazy to clean and stuff would stuck in there all the time." - No-Rush8716

"My last cleaning crew used a mop that had clips. They could attach microfiber or other cloths to use depending. I couldn't find exactly the model they used but found one on Amazon called Mr. Siga. I buy 50 packs of terry shop cloths at Costco and similar packs of microfiber cloths. They all fit on the head of this mop. For me, these are so much better than Swiffers. I use a spray bottle with all purpose cleaner dilution when I'm doing the floors. It also works much better than a broom when dry." - gripping_intrigue

"I keep a dish scrubber brush in the shower, and in the soap reservoir of it I use 1/2 cleaning vinegar and 2/3 dish soap. Once a week while I'm in the shower I can scrub the shower down while I'm in it and it makes it so much easier. Got it from a housekeeper on Tiktok." - tatertots8sunburns

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The one sign that someone is highly intelligent, according to author Oscar Wilde

Of course, he said it with his signature wit.

oscar wilde, smart woman, famous authors, books, oscar wilde photo, library
via Canva/Photos and Alfred Ellis & Walery/Wikimedia Commons

A woman carrying books and writer Oscar Wilde.

People are quick to point out when someone has changed their mind on a topic, whether it’s in the political world, where switching sides on an issue makes you a flip-flopper, or in our personal lives. When a friend suddenly changes their mind on an important issue, we become skeptical of their motives or whether they even have any genuine beliefs in the first place.

Are we a little too harsh on people who change their views? Don’t intelligent people change their minds when presented with new information, while those who are more interested in protecting their ego cling to incorrect ideas even more strongly?

Oscar Wilde on intelligence

Legendary author, humorist, and raconteur, Oscar Wilde, sang the praises of those who can freely change their mind in an 1885 piece on painter James McNeill Whistler in The Pall Mall Gazette of London. “Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative,” he famously wrote.

Dr. Emma Jones, a physician and burnout coach, elaborated on Wilde’s quote in a recent viral Instagram post. She agrees that the ability to change your mind is a hallmark of brilliance.

“Here's how you know someone is highly intelligent: It's not their degrees. It's this. It's what led Oscar Wilde to say that ‘consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.’ What he meant by that was that highly intelligent people know how to change their minds,” Jones says. Jones goes on to say that intellectually gifted people use phrases such as “I used to think,” or “That's a good point, let me reconsider.”


Jones adds that mental flexibility is a sign of strong character. “Most people double down to protect their ego. But intelligent people update their beliefs. They get more curious instead of more defensive,” Jones continues. “They don't tie their identity to being right. And they treat being wrong like data, not humiliation.”

Oscar Wilde had no problem with people who changed their mind

Wilde firmly believed that people should be mentally flexible and had zero issue with those who were wildly inconsistent in their views, as long as they were charming. “The well-bred contradict other people. The wise contradict themselves,” he wrote in 1894’s Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young.

He’s got a point. Who's to say that we all have to carry around rigid worldviews and must be consistent 100% of the time?

Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist and author of Hidden Potential: The Science of Achieving Great Things and Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know, also believes that being able to change your mind is a hallmark of intelligence.

“A sign of intellect is the ability to change your mind in the face of new facts. A mark of wisdom is refusing to let the fear of admitting you were wrong stop you from getting it right. The joy of learning something new eventually exceeds the pain of unlearning something old,” Grant wrote on Twitter.

Ultimately, maybe inconsistency isn’t a personal flaw but a way of adapting to a world constantly in flux. Those who lack imagination cling to their strongly-held views, while the wise continue to change. Great thinkers and psychologists agree that changing your mind shouldn’t be seen as a weakness but as a sign of a strong mind and character.

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