Socially anxious? Here are 17 best ways to answer the question: 'How are you?'
There's more you can say than "fine."

Some people having polite conversation at a party.
Does the following scenario make you feel anxious? You are in line at Target, and someone behind you recognizes you from an old job you had and asks, "How are you?” and you reply, “Fine.” Then, both of you stare at each other for 10 seconds, waiting for someone to say something next.
Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW, suggests that before we answer the question, we should attempt to ascertain if the person we’re talking to really wants to know. Are they being pleasant or just trying to make small talk? If you think they want to see how you’re doing, feel free to disclose what’s happening in your life.
But if it’s just a stop-and-chat or you don’t know the person you’re talking to, then it’s fine to respond with a clever response that may elicit a chuckle or spread some goodwill without telling them your life story. You can easily replay with a "Fine, how are you?" and put the conversational ball back in their court.
However, if you are looking for a more clever response, a Redditor who goes by Myloceratops crowd-sourced the best answers to the big question and received over 900 responses. Most of them were witty comebacks to the question that we can all tuck into our pack pockets to use when we want to see more interesting than someone who just gives a pat “fine” response.
Here are 17 of the best responses to someone asking, “How are you?” for you to use the next time you're making small talk.
1.
"I have two stock answers: Not too bad. Distinctly average." — Floydie1962.
2.
"Saw a shirt I loved: 'The horrors persist, as do I.'" — Evilbunnyfoofoo
3.
"I kinda like the Norwegian, 'Up and not crying."' — 5tr4nGe
4.
"Dying a little more every day." — Much-Signifigance212
5.
"Do you really want to know?" — Hatjepoet
6.
"In my country, people sometimes say 'Kann nie genug klagen.' It’s roughly translated to 'I can’t complain enough.'" — OldProblemsNeverDie
7.
"'I'm on the right side of the dirt' is one of my go-to responses." — JiveTurkeyJunction
8.
"Feeling good and looking better I’ll make a burlap sack feel like the cashmere sweater." — Late_Review_8761
9.
"It's a dog-eat-dog world and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear." — 27_crooked_craibu
10.
"If I was any better, there would be two of me." — not_that_rick
11.
"At work, it's 'Better by the hour.'"— Otherwise-Tune5413
12.
"'Oh you know, living the dream' is the only one I’ve got ready to go lately." — KittyBooBoo2016
13.
"Busier than a one-legged cat trying to bury a sh** in a frozen pond." — SpoonNZ
14.
"''I think I’m going to make it' usually gets a chuckle." — Bebandy
15.
"“Im good, and you?' I’m Gen X. I don’t burden other people with my problems." — Mrbootz
16.
"My next complaint will be my first complaint." — NoGood
17.
"'I feel like a silly goose today!'Guarantee they’ll never try to make small talk with you ever again." — Front-Craft-804



A Generation Jones teenager poses in her room.Image via Wikmedia Commons
An office kitchen.via
An angry man eating spaghetti.via 



An Irish woman went to the doctor for a routine eye exam. She left with bright neon green eyes.
It's not easy seeing green.
Did she get superpowers?
Going to the eye doctor can be a hassle and a pain. It's not just the routine issues and inconveniences that come along when making a doctor appointment, but sometimes the various devices being used to check your eyes' health feel invasive and uncomfortable. But at least at the end of the appointment, most of us don't look like we're turning into The Incredible Hulk. That wasn't the case for one Irish woman.
Photographer Margerita B. Wargola was just going in for a routine eye exam at the hospital but ended up leaving with her eyes a shocking, bright neon green.
At the doctor's office, the nurse practitioner was prepping Wargola for a test with a machine that Wargola had experienced before. Before the test started, Wargola presumed the nurse had dropped some saline into her eyes, as they were feeling dry. After she blinked, everything went yellow.
Wargola and the nurse initially panicked. Neither knew what was going on as Wargola suddenly had yellow vision and radioactive-looking green eyes. After the initial shock, both realized the issue: the nurse forgot to ask Wargola to remove her contact lenses before putting contrast drops in her eyes for the exam. Wargola and the nurse quickly removed the lenses from her eyes and washed them thoroughly with saline. Fortunately, Wargola's eyes were unharmed. Unfortunately, her contacts were permanently stained and she didn't bring a spare pair.
- YouTube youtube.com
Since she has poor vision, Wargola was forced to drive herself home after the eye exam wearing the neon-green contact lenses that make her look like a member of the Green Lantern Corps. She couldn't help but laugh at her predicament and recorded a video explaining it all on social media. Since then, her video has sparked a couple Reddit threads and collected a bunch of comments on Instagram:
“But the REAL question is: do you now have X-Ray vision?”
“You can just say you're a superhero.”
“I would make a few stops on the way home just to freak some people out!”
“I would have lived it up! Grab a coffee, do grocery shopping, walk around a shopping center.”
“This one would pair well with that girl who ate something with turmeric with her invisalign on and walked around Paris smiling at people with seemingly BRIGHT YELLOW TEETH.”
“I would save those for fancy special occasions! WOW!”
“Every time I'd stop I'd turn slowly and stare at the person in the car next to me.”
“Keep them. Tell people what to do. They’ll do your bidding.”
In a follow-up Instagram video, Wargola showed her followers that she was safe at home with normal eyes, showing that the damaged contact lenses were so stained that they turned the saline solution in her contacts case into a bright Gatorade yellow. She wasn't mad at the nurse and, in fact, plans on keeping the lenses to wear on St. Patrick's Day or some other special occasion.
While no harm was done and a good laugh was had, it's still best for doctors, nurses, and patients alike to double-check and ask or tell if contact lenses are being worn before each eye test. If not, there might be more than ultra-green eyes to worry about.