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NFL's first openly gay player shares hilarious moment he realized it was 'safe' to come out

Nassib himself made a gay joke, and the reaction from other players told him everything.

Erik Drost - CC BY 2.0 & Canva Photos

It took years and a lot of courage for Carl Nassib to come out. Now he's sharing the surprisingly funny story.

When Carl Nassib told the world he was gay, it was a huge moment for the NFL, sports, and the queer community. At the time, Nassib was a key defensive player for the Las Vegas Raiders, and his announcement made him the first openly gay active NFL player.

Before him, a few other players had come out after retiring. And there had also been the news and hype around Michael Sam a few years earlier, who was also openly gay. But unlike Nassib, Sam never saw NFL action in a regular-season game and was released before he could make a name for himself in the league. However, there was plenty of debate and rumors that Sam's open sexuality had contributed to his falling in the 2014 draft and ultimately washing out of the league. Though Sam was a good first step forward for the sports world, his experience didn't exactly leave the door wide open for the next person.

Nassib didn't let that stop him. He made his announcement in June of 2021, during the offseason, and on the opening Monday Night Football game of the next season, he made the key defensive play in front of an audience of millions to essentially win the game for his team.


@abcnews

#CarlNassib makes history by coming out as first openly gay active NFL player: “I’ve been meaning to do this for a while now.” #news #sports

Nassib was recently interviewed on The Pivot podcast and gave new insight into his decision to come out. One funny story, in particular, stuck out in his memory.

Former players Ryan Clark and Channing Crowder, hosts of the podcast, asked Nassib if he had any stories about his time in the league worth sharing. "I don't want a bad story because everybody thinks football players are these big meatheads who don't understand anything," Crowder said. "I got funny stories," Nassib replied.

Nassib said that during a game against Cleveland in 2020, he was annoyed that the Browns kept running a play called a "bootleg" away from him, which meant he had to expend a lot of energy sprinting full speed across the field to catch up. "I was so mad," he says.

"Stop with these gay ass bootlegs!" he yelled at the opposing team, admitting later in the interview that his own use of the word was pretty ignorant at the time. And that's when the entire opposing offensive line turned around and told him "You can't say that!"

"Oh man, the league is ready for this," Nassib recalls thinking. "They are ready for me. We got some allies here. ...I was like, 'This is so funny. The guy about to come out, saying the word gay, getting shut down by five massive dudes."

Watch the whole podcast exchange here:


Of course, there was more to it than that one funny moment. Later in the interview, Nassib went on to explain that the death of his uncle, who was also gay, had a huge impact on his decision.

Nassib grew up in a huge family, and his uncle was the only one of the whole bunch of 44 cousins who was open about being gay. On his Uncle Bill's deathbed in 2019, Nassib came out to him privately, and his uncle was so relieved not to be the only one. It inspired Nassib that he could do that for even more people around the world.

"When I came out to him, he was like, 'This is the biggest weight off my chest. I'm not the only one." Nassib remembers thinking, "Man, there's probably so many people out there that are going to feel that same way." Nassib had been wanting to come out publicly for years, but that moment with his uncle was one of the main catalysts that gave him the courage to finally go through with it.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Though Nassib is now retired from pro football, he leaves behind a powerful legacy. There have been no new players to follow in his footsteps per se, but young people all over the world have been quietly following his example ever since.

Nassib and his family still regularly hear from teenagers and their parents that his video gave them the courage to come out, or to participate in sports despite their fears of rejection. He continues to work closely with the Trevor Project and other organizations that aim to make the world safer for LGBTQ youth. And to think, it all may not have happened if those beefy Browns players hadn't called him out on the field!

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This Mormon valedictorian came out to 10,000 people in a stirring graduation speech.

On Friday, April 25th, Matthew Easton gave a commencement speech at Brigham Young University to 10,000 people that included a rather unexpected declaration: he came out as gay.  

“I stand before my family, friends and graduating class today to say that I am proud to be a gay son of God," he said. His words were immediately met with deafening cheers from people in the audience, including his sister, who momentarily dropped the phone she was using to record his speech in her excitement.

“Four years ago, it would have been impossible for me to imagine that I would come out to my entire college,” he continued in the speech. “It is a phenomenal feeling. And it is a victory for me in and of itself.”

“I am not broken. I am loved and important to the plan of our great creator. Each of us are.”

His announcement comes at a significant moment at BYU when students are taking a stand against the university's strict and archaic "honor code" which declares homosexual intimacy and relationships forbidden.  

However Easton, like the activists fighting against the honor code, made it clear that his declaration is by no means a break from the Church of Latter-Day Saints, in fact, quite the opposite. It's more about reclaiming his faith as the person he's always been rather than keeping his inner truth hidden because previous generations of Mormons are having a hard time embracing differences.

“My generation, and even more so the generation after me, we’re changing the way we talk about our identity and who we are,” Easton told the Washington Post. “It’s okay to be different, or not fit the norm. When I started at BYU, I didn’t think that. I thought that I had to be what everyone before me was. I do feel from my own experience that this is changing, or maybe I’m changing. I hope that our country, my faith, my community will follow in a similar fashion.”

But Easton's speech was much more than a personal declaration. He's paving the way for other LGBT people who might be at odds with their religion to stand up and embrace who they are.

Representation in the public spotlight matters. In fact, another gay man who's been getting a lot of media attention lately is part of what inspired Easton in the first place.

Pete Buttigieg, the mayor of South Bend, Indiana and presidential candidate who's been making waves in the democrat pool, has spoken numerous times about the intersection of his faith and his sexuality. He's also stood in support of younger Christians who are speaking out against the more traditional, often bigoted teachings of their church, and thus protesting having Vice President Mike Pence speak at their graduation ceremonies.

“That’s the thing I wish the Mike Pences of the world would understand: That if you have a problem with who I am, your quarrel is not with me,” Buttigieg said earlier this month in his speech at the LGBTQ Victory Fund. “Your quarrel, sir, is with my creator.”

Easton was thrilled with the overwhelmingly positive response his speech has garnered, not just within BYU, but around the world. He's still got a long way to go in terms of his personal journey, but coming out publicly was a big step forward.

"To have a group that I had for so long thought would hate me or ostracize me actually celebrate and accept me, it was awesome."

Watch Eaton's whole speech here:

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To help her gay son, this amazing mom carried and gave birth to her own granddaughter.

Like many gay couples, Matthew Eledge and his husband Elliot Dougherty desperately wanted to have their own children. But being in a same-sex relationship called for them to be a little more creative in how they achieved that dream.

At 59 years old, Matthew’s mother, Cecile Eledge, was supportive and excited to be a grandma. So excited — that she offered to serve as the surrogate and carry her own grandchild.

While it began as sort of a family joke, eventually the idea grew into something inexplicably wonderful. Eledge and Dougherty’s daughter Uma Louise.

"It just seemed like a really beautiful sentiment on her part," Elliott told the BBC. "She's such a selfless woman."

However, the fertility specialist, Dr. Carolyn Maud Doherty,  listed it as a realistic possibility. So she had Cecile come in for a few tests, all of which she passed.

“She’s 61 years old and has lower blood pressure than the rest of us,” Matthew told Buzzfeed News.

“It’s important for people to note that not every 60-year-old is in good enough health to be a surrogate. There are probably only a handful of people across the country who can do this — only a handful of people who have done it,” Doherty told Buzzfeed News.

Cecile got pregnant after the first embryo transfer (Matthew’s sperm and an egg from Elliot's sister Lea), and on March 25th, she gave birth (naturally) to a 5 pound 13 ounce baby girl.

Their journey to becoming a family was not without struggle though. Elliot and Matthew live in Omaha, Nebraska, where they were no strangers to discrimination.

It’s one of many places where there is no non-discrimination legislation in place to ensure LGBTQ individuals have equal access to employment, housing, education and other resources without being targeted for their orientation/gender identity.

Eledge was even dismissed from his job upon announcing his upcoming marriage to Dougherty years ago. Thankfully his students fought for him, but it shouldn’t have come to that.

Similarly, same sex couples in Nebraska weren’t allowed to act as foster parents until 2017 after a ban was lifted.

The road to parenthood is long and arduous for millions of folks who desire to have children. But for same-sex couples, it’s often paved with more obstacles. When paired with social barriers and a lack of legislation, LGBTQ individuals have to fight two times as hard for their right to parent.

Surrogacy, as Matthew and Elliott found, is a potential solution.

For many same-sex couples like Eledge and Dougherty — and many hetero couples as well — surrogacy can make parenting a biological child a reality.  

It’s not surprising it’s become increasingly common.

In the last 17 years, more than 18,400 infants were born via gestational carriers like Cecile.

More and more, gay male couples have begun using surrogacy as a way to have their own biological children. The types of surrogates used range widely — some go through agencies, others find help through family members and friends, like Matthew and Elliott did — but the dream is the same; a chance at biological parenthood.

That said, IVF — which is what prospective parents have to do when they decide to pursue surrogacy — is expensive and therefore limiting in terms of who can really pursue it as an option.

So while LGBT equality is on the horizon, there are still many obstacles in the way, especially when it comes to becoming parents.

We can get closer by making things like health care, family planning, housing, employment and education more accessible, but most importantly, by ensuring each state offers legal protection from discrimination for all.

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An 86-year-old came out 'too late' to find love. So, young people surprised him.

Martin is an 86-year-old gay man from the U.K. — who came out at age 85.

For all those years, he hid a big part of who he truly was. "It's tough being an outsider," he explained, sitting alone in his dimly lit apartment.

Now, he deeply regrets waiting so long to come out. "I missed the boat in regards to finding a lovely partner — a soulmate that I could love, live with."

GIF via 5 Gum/YouTube.

In a tear-jerking new ad video for 5 Gum, Martin encouraged young LGBTQ people to live out and proud now — not later.

"Go ahead, do it," he advised softly. "You've got it. You owe it to yourself."

But, as you'll see in the video, a few young LGBTQ people had surprise messages for Martin too (story continues below):

"Your story inspired me to be true to myself and to be proud of who I am," one young person explained to Martin in a video message.

"[Martin's story] made me very happy to be in the place that I am now," another young person, sitting alongside their partner, explained. "It made me realize how lucky we both are to be where we are right now."

GIF via 5 Gum/YouTube.

One young man inspired by Martin even came out to his father, recorded the interaction, and sent it to the 86-year-old.

"It must have taken a lot of courage," Martin explains in an email to Upworthy. "Now he can be a much happier guy!"

Martin's story and the video responses from young LGBTQ people were completely genuine and did not involve actors, 5 Gum confirmed to Upworthy.

While Martin may wish he had come out sooner, he's now living freer than he's ever been. And that's worth celebrating.

He recently went to his first Pride parade, for instance and says it was "a marvelous experience."

GIF via 5 Gum/YouTube.

"I danced all along waving my little flag and connected to thank all our supporters who got up early," Martin says. "Lots of hugs and kisses all the way to thank them."

Happy Pride, Martin. 🌈

Just to note: Upworthy and 5 Gum do not have a business partnership. We just love cute, important videos. That's all.

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