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Fans gushed over Jessica Biel's toned body in a white dress. Then she gave a reality check.

"This kind of transparency is so important."

jessica biel, jessica biel workout, the better sister, jessica biel arms, ben bruno, fitness, getting toned, full body workout
@shopyourtv/TikTok

We all need a reality check from time to time.

We all know that the level of fitness achieved by celebrities we see on television isn’t attainable for many, if not most everyday people. And yet, when their sculpted bodies grace our screens, it can still activate a little voice that says “clearly you’re not doing enough."

That’s why it’s so helpful and grounding when a celebrity is actually transparent about the work it takes to achieve their physique, so that it might quiet that self deprecating narrative and help us get a little more realistic about achieving whatever fitness goals we might have. Jessica Biel’s recent response to a fan who asked her to share her workout routine is a perfect example of that.

It all started with a clip from her Prime Video thriller series, The Better Sister, where she plays a super fit character…as is evident by how clearly toned she looks in a backless white dress worn during the show’s opening.

 
 @k_dofinbos I’m slackingggg #thebettersister #jessicabiel #tvtok #primevideo ♬ original sound - K 
 
 

Several women have shared the clip on TikTok, while muttering something along the lines of “I need to get back to the gym.” One person even asked Biel to share the workout routine she does in order to get that toned. Biel saw the request, and acquiesced…but not without delivering a truth bomb or two.

“Everyone is talking…about the white dress…and I just wanted to share that that peak shape in that show is not maintainable unless you are living the strictest, most rigid lifestyle with your nutrition and with your fitness,” she said, admitting that not even she, someone who’s been notably lean and athletic their entire adult life, who has access to the best foods, best gym equipment, etc. etc., can sustain that look indefinitely.

 
 @jessbiel Replying to @tori I’ve heard y’all are talking about the white dress 😏 I’m no expert but I want people to be healthy, safe, and strong. Remember to warm up and cool down, and let me know what other workouts you’d like to see! A big thank you to #AshleyBrown and @Ben Bruno ♬ BIRDS OF A FEATHER OFFICIAL INSTRUMENTAL - Dan Swift Del Rey 
 
 

This bit of candidness incited a whole slew of praise in the comments section, from folks who thanked Biel for "being so real."

“THANK YOU for saying that many if not most actors look amazing for a moment in time during shooting and that it is incredibly hard to enjoy life and look like that all the time,” on person wrote.

Another said, “Thank you for speaking about the lifestyle that comes with maintaining! this kind of transparency is so important 🙏🏼.”

But Biel didn’t stop there. She also took the opportunity to raise awareness on how important it is, especially for women, to prioritize maintaining muscle strength and flexibility as you get older…not just achieving an aesthetic goal, or, for the love of all that is holy, getting skinnier.

And, as requested, she did end up sharing a sample lower body workout routine—something she’s currently doing to get back in Better Sister shape—which consisted of dumbbell exercises like hip thrusts and Romanian deadlifts, as well as curls with a large stability ball and banded kickbacks.

She was even so kind as to break down proper form for all the moves, and didn’t edit out her being out of breath at the end of the routine, saying, “my body’s not twenty years old anymore, you know?” She’s a real one for that. For sure.

Biel then concluded her video by saying, “let’s get older and stronger together.”

 jessica biel, jessica biel workout, the better sister, jessica biel arms, ben bruno, fitness, getting toned, full body workout Biel performing a Romanian deadlift as part of her lower body routine. @jessbiel/TikTok

The video garnered a lot of gratitude from viewers, who commended Biel for “keeping it real” and “being a great advocate for women.”

"JB is a girl's girl," one person gushed.

At the end of the day, it is possible for us to achieve amazing fitness goals all while juggling what life throws our way. But we are doing ourselves a disservice to think that a) it can be done with a quick fix and zero lifestyle changes, and b) that we are supposed to remain at peak fitness levels 24/7. Not even the pros do that.

If getting more fit is a goal of yours, rather than simply stealing Biel's routine, it might be beneficial to also try to adopt her mindset about it all as well. Just sayin’.

Luckily, if you are still on the hunt for a Biel-approved workout, one of her long-time trainers, Ben Bruno, does have fitness programs to try out.

Here's to getting older and stronger together.

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Joy

Dad shares the hilarious conversations he has with 5-year-old daughter and folks are cracking up

"Why do people congratulate you when Mom is making the baby?

via James Breakwell/X

All parents have had similar convos with thier kiddos.

Raising kids is tough, but there's a lot of laughs along the way. Especially when actual conversations start, as kids begin trying to make sense out of the world around them, ask questions, and test mommy and daddy's resolve.

Back in 2018, comedy writer and children's book author James Breakwell, with four daughters who were all under the age of eight at the time, shared their hilarious conversations on X. From these tweets, it looks like comedy runs in the family. Here's a sampling of some Breakwell's funniest kid-inspired tweets.

 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 

While Breakwell's 7-year-old wasn't as heavily featured, when she was quoted, the sarcasm was palpable. Which makes sense, considering that kiddos begin understanding this mechanism around that age.

 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 

Kids really do say the darnedest things, and we love them for it. It one of the many, many ways then bring so much joy to the world. It almost makes up for the headaches and sleepless nights, doesn't it.

This article originally appeared seven years ago.

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Fatherhood

Dad hands his son a chess piece at college drop-off and now everyone's in tears

"Tradition has to start somewhere."

Screenshots via Vakisla Milliner

Dad gives son chess piece at college drop-off, now everyone's crying

Many families have traditions that they've always done. Some of them have been passed down for so long that they have no idea where or why the tradition started. But some families don't have traditions at all or if they do, they don't feel like significant things that should continue with the next generations. While some family traditions are started on accident, some are much more intentional and they have to start somewhere.

A proud mom captured the emotional moment that her husband started a family tradition with their oldest son. The parents were recently dropping their first child off at college, likely ahead of football camp. Right before the final goodbyes, the dad pulls out a gift for the new college student. It looked to be a large wooden king chess piece but before giving it to his son he explains the reason for the gift.

 college drop-off; family traditions; college; college move-in; traditions; dads matter Checkmate in progress on a sunlit chessboard.Photo credit: Canva

The emotional exchange between father and son was uploaded to social media by the boy's mother, Vakisla Milliner. It has more than 400K views and over 4,000 comments from heart-warmed viewers. In the caption of the video Milliner writes, "We took our oldest son to college last weekend! I had the honor and pleasure of capturing a moment between a father and his son. Filled with raw and unfiltered emotions! They didn’t know that I was capturing this beautiful moment! A king always has a move and this here was a King a move"

On the hood of the car there's a University of Miami duffle bag where the father pulls the chess piece from before starting to explain the seemingly odd gift to his son.

 college drop-off; family traditions; college; college move-in; traditions; dads matter "College Ahead" sign against a clear sky.Photo credit: Canva

"My father didn't get to bring me to college, dog," the dad starts. "This is a king," he ekes out through the emotions clearly welling up in his throat, "this is a king, cause you're a king and whenever you feel like the world is coming down on you and ain't sh*t going your way, take your time, sit back and think bro cause you always have a move, protect the king. It means protect yourself. We don't have tradition in a lot of Black families so I'm starting one with you and then your brother."

The tearful dad tells the boy that the king that he's holding is his and he needs to protect it. He shares that he's been hard on his son due to people underestimating the young man's abilities as he was always the smallest on the team. The dad explains that his toughness was to get his son to that moment–college. Later in the video the dad tells his son that he would like for the college student to continue the tradition when his own children go off to college. Though many tears and several hugs, the video ended with the son taking the chess piece to carry with him and remind him of the promise he just made to his father–protect the king.

 
 @vakislamilliner5 True definition of a Blackman being present and intentional! We took our oldest son to college last weekend! I had the honor and pleasure of capturing a moment between a father and his son. Filled with raw and unfiltered emotions! They didn’t know that I was capturing this beautiful moment! A king always has a move and this here was a King a move ! Feel free to share make it go viral Blackmen are present! #king #YoungKing #thoseashenafiboys @Amenemhet ♬ original sound - Vakisla Milliner 
 
 

People were moved by the proud moment that not only sent a first born off to college but started a new tradition, one person writes "As soon as dad teared up, the tears fell immediately! This was beautiful!"

Another shares, "Dad to dad, I’m in tears. You made it son!!! Make that man proud. Be good, stay in school man. That man loves you bro. God bless you son."

"I can’t stop crying parenting is a thankless job but the most rewarding when you see what they grow up to be, bless him" someone else cries.

 college drop-off; family traditions; college; college move-in; traditions; dads matter Smiling student with backpack and book outdoors.Photo credit: Canva

"This speaks volume to ANY ethnic background! We need to speak LIFE into this world’s youth!!! THEY hold the key to the future!!! BE THE KING AND NOT THE JOKER!" a fellow dad writes.

"This was so powerful. I love when men show raw emotion. What a beautiful moment to share!" a commenter shares.

Another dad chimes in "Dad to dad, you have done an outstanding job! I hope when my kids are older i can be as strong and amazing as you just showed right now."

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Culture

People from other countries share 14 things that instantly tell them someone's American

Have you ever heard of the "American lean"?

via zoetnet/Flickr, Ewen Roberts/Flickr and Tom Hodgkinson/Flickr
Some American tourists enjoying the sights

Americans have a style and personality all their own, which isn’t a bad thing. It’s just noticeable when they travel aboard. Americans often stand out because of their outgoing personalities. They are friendly and enjoy having casual conversations with strangers.

This is an endearing trait to a lot of people in more reserved cultures, although it can also come off as a little brash.

An American characteristic that isn’t quite endearing to people in other countries is that they can be rather loud. In Europe, one can always notice the Americans in the restaurant because they can be heard from across the room.

One Reddit user wanted to know the specific ways that Americans stand out when traveling abroad, so they asked the AskReddit subreddit: “What’s an obvious sign that someone is an American?”


 american tourists, american culture, americans abroad, americans, USA, tourists, travel, europe, culture It may not be quite this obvious, but Americans do stand out.  Giphy  

The post was popular, receiving nearly 6,000 responses in just 6 days. The most popular ones described how Americans' unique personalities, style of dress, dental hygiene and body language make them easy to spot.

Here are 14 “obvious” signs that someone is an American.

1. Posture

 american tourists, american culture, americans abroad, americans, USA, tourists, travel, europe, culture Americans slouch and lean.  Giphy  

"Apparently, the CIA trains American agents to not lean on things if they go undercover in foreign countries because Americans lean on anything they can while standing around," one user wrote.

"I bet MI6 trains British agents to lean on everything if they go undercover in America because Americans lean on anything they can while standing around," joked another.

Shockingly, this is actually true. The "American lean" is well-documented and, yes, a former CIA chief has said publicly that it's something the agency addresses with its operatives to help them blend in.

2. The date

"MMDDYYYY," a user said.

The way Americans write the date seems normal and commonplace when you're in the US, but around the world, we're practically the only ones who do it that way. Similarly, only a small handful of countries outside of the US use the imperial system of measure.

Writing the date or using feet and inches are a dead giveaway!

3. Distances are different

"Anything under 4 hours is 'close by," someone suggested.

"Everything in Europe is around the corner if you're from the US. I can drive the whole day and not leave my state, but in Europe, I can pass through 4 countries in that same time frame," said another.

The massive geography of the United States has a big affect on how we see distance. It shows up when we travel to other countries that are more densely packed together.

4. They're polite to servers

"In the touristy cafe-restaurant I worked at:

If they asked me for the nicest spot we had

If they asked me my recommendation without seeing the menu first

I would walk to the table, and they would say right away ‘hey, how are you doing?’ This one threw me off a lot at first. Why is this person asking me how I'm doing?? I'm just there to take the order. I got used to it, and I think they found my awkwardness cute.

They would ask my name when I greeted them and took their order.

I'm Northern European.," explained one user.

"It’s under-appreciated just how polite, friendly, and sincere Americans are in general. It blew my mind the first time I came to the US, and I love that my children are growing up with those same values," said another.

You might expect to hear that Americans are rude and entitled when traveling, but that's not necessarily the case! In America, some friendly rapport with your waiter is expected, and Americans tend to be a more outgoing bunch that love to engage. That makes them stand out in European countries, in particular, where restaurant service is meant to be professional and efficient rather than charismatic.


5. The water bottles

 american tourists, american culture, americans abroad, americans, USA, tourists, travel, europe, culture Americans love huge water bottles.  Giphy  

"I was told, 'Americans carry water bottles around like they're worried they'll never have access to clean water ever again," one user said.

"I don't care what anyone says. If you think carrying a water bottle when walking a lot is weird, you're probably slightly dehydrated all the time and are just desensitized to it. You seriously need to drink water frequently if you want to be ideally healthy," said another.

The water bottle fad is uniquely American, for better or worse. Whether it's a Yeti, a Stanley, an Owalla, or something else, you can bet if someone is swinging a massive water bottle wherever they walk, they're an American.

6. Smiling

"I was in Germany this past summer, and I realized smiling at everyone you make eye contact with is very American. When I went to London on the same trip, they seemed less weirded out by it but would awkwardly return the smile. I was taught to always start with a disarming smile. Never realized it was American," said one person.

7. "More ice, please."

 american tourists, american culture, americans abroad, americans, USA, tourists, travel, europe, culture Americans love tons of ice in their drinks.  Giphy  

"I spent a year in Europe completely iceless to the point I forgot that was a thing. I stopped at a bar in Chicago fresh off the plane and not only did I get free tap water, but water with ice. I instantly felt at home," added one person.

There is a long and fascinating history involving someone called "The Ice King" behind why Americans, and so few other cultures, love to put tons of ice in our drinks. Needless to say, it makes us stand out like a sore thumb when traveling.

8. Personal space

"As an American man, I’ve been told repeatedly by European and Asian friends that we simply take up space (not by being fat) as though we’re entitled to it. Men in other countries apparently don’t claim the same personal space we do," one person offered.

You mean manspreading? Apparently, other cultures don't do that.

9. White teeth

 american tourists, american culture, americans abroad, americans, USA, tourists, travel, europe, culture Americans value ultra-white teeth.  Giphy  

"It’s even more bizarre that they assume we have braces or bleach our teeth because they’re straight and white. I have naturally straight white teeth. I brush them twice a day so they stay white. I don’t do anything special to them, but I remember being in London and some similar-aged students literally making fun of me for my teeth… it’s true that they don’t naturally look like headstones in an ancient graveyard, but there’s no need to make fun," someone added.

Imagine getting made fun of for having white teeth! For one reason or another, American culture places high value on having extremely white teeth. We all know the old jokes about British teeth, but some findings show that while Americans' teeth may be whiter, Brits may be healthier overall. Something to think about.

10. Casual dress

"My friend went to Germany recently, and what people said about Americans is you can spot them a mile away because they’re the ones wearing pajamas in public. Apparently, in other countries, at least Germany, they dress a little more formally and in less baggy clothes than we do in America," someone added.

Activewear, sweatpants, pajamas — we love to be comfortable! But it does make us a bit obvious when we're out and about in other countries.

11. Baseball hats

 american tourists, american culture, americans abroad, americans, USA, tourists, travel, europe, culture Americans wear hats... everywhere.  Giphy  

"Baseball cap... even on an infant riding in a pram," a user suggested.

Baseball hats are common in many countries around the world, but most people internationally only wear them outside. If someone's wearing a cap inside or at a restaurant, it's a safe bet that person is American.

12. Shoes

"Americans are shoe snobs (they don’t think they are, but they are). Setting aside wealthier business types, Americans generally wear more on-brand, on-trend, high-quality shoes than others," someone said.

13. They're loud

 american tourists, american culture, americans abroad, americans, USA, tourists, travel, europe, culture Americans' default volume is loud.  Giphy  

"That was my first thought. Americans yell at each other in normal conversation in public. I noticed it years ago in Europe, and now I can’t stand it in the US," another user added.

Now there's an unsurprising revelation! Just like our tendency to take up space, Americans seem to have less awareness of those around them when it comes to conversation volume, as well.

14. Occupation matters

"Immediately asking someone what they do for a living when meeting them. Our jobs and work are our entire identity," one person said.

"I hate that about American culture. I'm an American and recently became a SAHM, so I don't have an answer to 'What do you do for a living?' Half the time, I add the caveat, ‘Oh, my last job was with Apple,’ so that I'm not written off as an unemployed ‘loser.’ But it really is dumb to determine a person's worth by what they do in order to afford food and shelter," added another.

There are huge differences in work culture between America and other countries. They're so big and pervasive that they show up not just while we're working, but in the way we interact with others. For example, in Europe it's far less common to be friends with your coworkers. People value the purpose they find in work and the results, but are happy to keep the majority of their life separate from their career.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Queen didn't want to release 'Another One Bites the Dust.' Then Michael Jackson intervened.

Queen's drummer Roger Taylor didn't even like the song at first.

Christopher Hopper; distributed by Elektra Records (left), Matthew Rolston; Distributed by Epic Records (right)

Michael Jackson had a surprising influence on one of Queen's greatest hits.

When a band strikes gold (or platinum) with a hit song, it's easy to think that success was predictable. After all, a great song with wide popular appeal is a great song with wide popular appeal, right?

But when you dig into the history of some of the world's iconic hit songs, you often find a fascinating backstory filled with surprising details that make it clear how unpredictable the music industry really is. Case in point: Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust."

 queen, freddie mercury, another one bites the dust "Another One Bites the Dust" is one of Queen's greatest hits.  Giphy  

The YouTube channel Behind the Track shared the fascinating story of how Another One Bites the Dust became one of Queen's greatest hits. The song was written by John Deacon, Queen's bassist, who was the last member to join the band. Deacon wrote some of the band's other songs, including "You're My Best Friend" and "I Want to Break Free," but none had the massive popular success of "Another One Bites the Dust."

However, the would-be-hit almost wasn't.

Known for its catchy drumbeat and powerful bass line, "Another One Bites the Dust" was an unusual song that didn't fall in line with Queen's usual sound. No big guitar riffs. No layered harmonies. In fact, drummer Roger Taylor didn't even like the song. The band debated putting it on their album and didn't plan to release it as a single at all until the King of Pop himself intervened.

 

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

 

Jackson was a fan of the band and often attended their shows. After a concert in Los Angeles in 1980, he showed up backstage and told the band members that they needed to release "Another One Bites the Dust" as a single. Taylor did not think it would be a hit at all, but the others listened to Jackson's advice, and the song was released in August of 1980. It went to No. 1 in the U.S. and spent 31 weeks on the Hot 100.

But there's even more to the story of how the song came about. Deacon had come up with the idea for the song initially after scribbling lines from old western American films. One line that kept coming back to him was "another one bites the dust." The lyrics were all about cowboys at first, a bit light-hearted and humorous, but Deacon was too embarrassed to even show his bandmates that version.

  Old West Movie GIF by GritTV  Giphy  

When the band began to record the bass line, Deacon realized the song needed to be edgier and he changed the lyrics from cowboys to a vague story about a guy named Steve who gets into a street fight. That iconic bass line was inspired by disco funk music, specifically "Good Times" by Chic, a band that Deacon had hung out with. Deacon wanted the drum beat to be very simple, and Taylor's drums were covered in tape and the basic beat looped—a technique Taylor really didn't care for at the time. "I didn't really want to get into dance music," Taylor later explained. "Wasn't my thing."

In 2024, Brian May shared with Guitar World how Deacon led the band through the song recording:

"He would tell Freddie what the words were, and play the tune on the guitar. You can imagine it was quite a strange process. Freddie absolutely adored it. He just stepped into it with a vengeance. And he sang it until he bled! He was forcing himself to get those high notes and he loved it. Freddie really was such a driving force."

 freddie mercury, queen, another one bites the dust Freddie Mercury was Queen's larger-than-life lead singer.  Giphy  

However, the rest of the band wasn't as fond of the song.

“You know, Roger actually didn’t want to have it on the album, didn’t like it," May said. "It was much too funky and not enough rock for him. I was a bit on the fence. I kind of enjoyed it. But it obviously wasn’t the rock that I would have been creating. And I remember saying, ‘Look, it needs a little bit of something a bit more dirty on it.’

“So I started playing these little bits of the more grungy guitar. I don’t think the word ‘grungy’ existed in those days. But the distorted guitar is obviously me, and that punctuates it and gives it another dimension, takes it to a slightly more rocky place."

May remembers Michael Jackson hearing the song and saying that's what he wanted to do. "I think his whole album which followed [Thriller] was deeply influenced by 'Another One Bites The Dust' and the fact that it straddled funk and rock," May said. "Michael came to the same place from a different direction.”

 michael jackson, thriller, queen, another one bites the dust Michael Jackson pushed Queen to release "Another One Bites the Dust" as a single. Matthew Rolston; Distributed by Epic Records (Public domain) 

It seems that Queen and Michael Jackson had one another to credit for at least some of their success, and apparently we can thank them both for one of the best bop-alongs ever made.

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Family

24 kids come to trash a birthday party that none of them RVSPd for. Dad was understandably PO'd.

On the bright side: other parents gave brilliant tips for tweaking invites so these catastrophes don't happen.

Photo credit: Canva

This is definitely some parenting nightmare fuel.

Kids birthday party culture is definitely having a moment in the public discourse. For one thing, parties have become outrageously expensive. Renting a lane at the bowling alley and getting some pizza for a dozen kids used to be the cheap party. Now that same experience will probably run $500 or more. If you tack on custom desserts (unless it's a Costco sheet cake), goodie bags, and a premium venue like a trampoline park or arcade, you could be looking at a bill of close to $1000! That's madness!

RSVP etiquette is in crisis, too. Social media is rife with stories of no one RSVPing, RSVPers no-showing on the day, and others sorts of rude or bizarre behavior from parents that turns parties sour and, sadly, ruin kids' birthdays.

One dad's story of a birthday party gone horribly wrong, though, definitely takes the cake.

 kids, parenting, kids birthday party, birthday party rsvp, birthday party ideas, kids birthday ideas, kids party ideas May this birthday party never find me.  media2.giphy.com  

"My son's birthday was recently and we decided to throw him a party at a local place that was kid focused and amazing," the dad writes in a Reddit post. Due to classroom rules and wanting to pass the invitations out through school, the family invited all 24 kids from their child's class.

"Not a single parent RSVP'ed. Not a single one. My name, my phone number, AND my spouse's phone number was on the card. I'm literally staring at one ... that I handwrote and this was included on the invite. I handwrote every card so I know for a fact what was on there," he says.

Not wanting to cancel the birthday party (and traumatize his son), the dad began inviting kids from other branches of his network. Friends' kids, coworkers kids. Basically anyone with a warm body so that they could throw a proper party. In the end, the family planned and paid for 15 kids to attend the party, including a resounding zero from class.

 kids, parenting, kids birthday party, birthday party rsvp, birthday party ideas, kids birthday ideas, kids party ideas "Not a single parent RSVP'ed. Not a single one." media2.giphy.com  

And then everything went haywire.

"Party was yesterday night. ... We get there, get settled in, and start seeing kids come in. A few of his classmates began showing up. I was fine with that and was excited kids started showing up for him. And then more kids started showing up. One family brought 7 kids total; 3 teens, 2 slightly older kids, a girl from his classmates, and their cousin. Another family brought their son AND one of his friends because 'they didn't know if their son would know anyone there so we wanted to make sure he had a friend to play with'. So many of them brought siblings."

The numbers quickly got way, way out of hand. Organizers at the venue told the dad he was going to have to pay for all the extra kids that showed up. So the OP unfortunately had to tell anyone who brought uninvited kids, or failed to RSVP, that they would have to pay their own way for all the crafts and activities available at the venue.

 kids, parenting, kids birthday party, birthday party rsvp, birthday party ideas, kids birthday ideas, kids party ideas "We get there, get settled in, and start seeing kids come in." media0.giphy.com  

A few families apologized and ponied up, but... "I had multiple parents tell me that they didn't know they couldn't bring their other kids and promised to pay before they left. Some asked for my Cashapp/Venmo/Zelle so they could reimburse me later since they couldn't afford it right now. Some just left, a few taking their presents with them."

With so many kids running amok, the party took an unfortunate turn. Kids started being mean to an animal that was brought out for entertainment and its handlers had to put it away. Trash went flying everywhere. Kids climbed on tables and got kicked out. It was pandemonium.

In the end, dad had to pay an extra cleaning fee, pay for damage done to the venue, and pay for all the extra kids who showed up whose parents left before chipping in. Worse yet, his son was devastated at how the party turned out.

"I was in tears. My son is really upset that there were so many mean kids. He said this was the worst party ever and asked to not have a party for next year."

 kids, parenting, kids birthday party, birthday party rsvp, birthday party ideas, kids birthday ideas, kids party ideas He said this was the worst party ever and asked to not have a party for next year." media1.giphy.com  

The obvious question coming out of this story: Why are people so awful?!

Stories like this one sadly aren't rare. The cynical take is that parents are ruder and more self-absorbed than ever, that our chronically disconnected society has diluted our sense of community and obligation to be kind to each other.

The (slightly) more optimistic and probably more accurate take is that today's parents are completely overwhelmed and have their hands full coordinating handfuls of events that are months away, responding to dozens of daily emails from school and teachers and daycares, being engaged and hands-on in every aspects of their kids lives, etc. So RSVPs sometimes slip to the bottom of the list and get forgotten. The behavior in this dad's story is appalling, but probably not intentionally malicious.

Still, social media users were furious on behalf of the child and his parents in the story.

"This is unacceptable behavior," wrote one commenter.

"People suck and kids parties bring out the worst in people!" added another.

Whatever the cause, there are a few ways you can protect yourself and your kids from birthday party catastrophes like this one.

Don't include the specific location on the invite. The best way to stop people who didn't RSVP from showing up unannounced is to stay vague about the party venue. Just put the day and time on the invitation so people can save the date, but make them text or call before you tell them where the party will be held. That way, you can secure a commitment beforehand.

Specify whether siblings are welcome. Unfortunately, some parents have been known to use other kids birthday parties as informal daycares, dropping all of their kids off at once and taking themselves a nice break! It's not all conniving, though. It is legitimately a lot easier on some families to bring everyone along to a party rather than dividing and conquering to entertain siblings who weren't invited. Just be clear on the invite or in RSVP discussions about who's allowed to come and whether parents are expected to stay (or if it's a "drop off party").

Understand classroom rules. A lot of schools now require that, if birthday party invitations get handed out in class, that everyone is invited. That rules comes from a great place of not wanting anyone to feel left out, but it also causes a lot of problems. The inclusivity is a positive but it also means you end up inviting a lot of kids and parents you don't know very well or at all. If you're up for this logistical challenge, go for it! But if not, consider a smaller party with just your child's good friends—and invite them privately outside of school.

Finally, for anyone on the receiving end of a birthday party invitation, don't be a jerk! RSVPing either way is a much appreciated gesture. On the chance that you do forget to RSVP (it happens), don't show up unannounced. It may not seem like a big deal, but when a couple dozen sets of parents all have the same thought, this dad's viral story shows exactly what can go wrong.

This article originally appeared in March.

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