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Man asks older folks for their biggest regrets and advice to their younger selves

This wisdom could save a lot of younger folks from chasing the wrong things.

Photo by Ravi Patel on Unsplash

With age, comes wisdom (usually).

Have you ever sat and talked with an older person about their life and what they've learned in their decades of living? Talking with older people can give us a lot of wisdom and perspective that we otherwise couldn't get, which is why TikTok creator Yair Brachiyahu interviews people who are in their later years and asks them specific questions about their life experience.

Some of those questions include "What do you regret most in your life?" "What did you think was important when you were younger that you've realized isn't as important as you thought?" and "What advice would you give your younger self if you could go back in time?"

These are good questions to ponder at any age, but older folks' responses have a bit more weight to them. There's a certain amount of wisdom that comes with experience and having lived through various stages of life. And when you put lots of those responses together, certain themes emerge that might be valuable for younger people to take to heart.

Here's an interview Yair did with a 95-year-old woman that was particularly inspiring:

@yairbrachiyahu

95 Year Old Shares Her Biggest Regret #lifelessons #lifeadvice #interview #longervideos

Staying positive and upbeat is a common theme among centenarians who are asked how they've lived so long, so she may be onto something.

This 79-year-old's response was similar, and she also hit on the most common thing people say they thought was important when they were young but realized isn't actually.

@yairbrachiyahu

79 Year Old Shares Her Biggest Loss… #lifelessons #interview #lifeadvice #longervideos

So many older people say that they thought money and material possessions were important when they were young but have realized in their later years that as long as you have enough money to live, having more money and more things doesn't make you any happier.

@yairbrachiyahu

46 Years Married Couple Share What’s Really Important In Life… #interview #lifelessons #lifeadvice #longervideos

Of course, as some have pointed out, it's a lot easier to learn the lesson that money isn't important once you've had more than enough money. And if you don't have enough money to live comfortably, even if modestly, hearing that money isn't important can feel a bit off-putting.

But that doesn't change the fact that material wealth isn't the holy grail many people think it is. It's entirely possible to be rich and unhappy and entirely possible to be happy without a lot of money.

Listen to what this 78-year-old would go back and tell his younger self:

@yairbrachiyahu

78 Year Old Shares What’s REALLY Important In Life #interview #lifelessons #lifeadvice #longervideos

Over and over, the same lessons are shared by people who have been around the block a few times. Money isn't as important as you think it is beyond basic living expenses. Relationships with family, friends and loved ones are where true wealth lies. Health is vital and taking care of your body matters. Stay positive and live life with gratitude and appreciation.

Yair has interviewed dozens of people, mostly between ages 60 to 100, and their answers are all uniquely fascinating. You can watch more of these conversations on his TikTok channel.

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Family

Why this grandmother's advice went viral and is so very needed right now

Sometimes that pat on the back we need the most is our own.

Photo by Skiathos Greece on Unsplash

Grandmother offers advice for living through difficult times.

There’s no shortage of advice for getting through difficult times. Unfortunately, most of that advice is either painfully unrealistic or reeks of toxic positivity. Solid advice that is both helpful and comforting is hard to come by, which is why this advice is going viral for all the right reasons.

The advice comes from Elena Mikhalkova—or rather her Mikhalkova’s grandmother—and it goes like this:


My grandmother once gave me a tip:

In difficult times, you move forward in small steps.

Do what you have to do, but little by little.

Don't think about the future, or what may happen tomorrow.

Wash the dishes.

Remove the dust.

Write a letter.

Make a soup.

You see?

You are advancing step by step.

Take a step and stop.

Rest a little.

Praise yourself.

Take another step.

Then another.

You won't notice, but your steps will grow more and more.

And the time will come when you can think about the future without crying.

Can we all just pause for a minute to take a deep breath and maybe wipe the tears from our eyes? Because I don’t know about you, but this advice is just what I’ve needed to read almost every day lately.

I suspect I’m not alone in this either because Mikhalkova’s advice is being shared all over the internet.


.

With COVID-19 raging again and many of us (dare I say, all of us?) struggling with one thing or another, this quote hits. Unlike the clichéd “one foot in front of another” advice that can seem both demeaning and overwhelming, this advice offers concrete steps to take.

Wash the dishes. Make soup. Rest, and praise yourself.

These are things I can do. Well, maybe not soup, per se. But cookies. I can make cookies. And maybe you can make soup. Or knit a scarf. Or sweep the kitchen floor. This is enough.

What this advice taps into that other tidbits lose sight of is that when we’re in the midst of a calamity, even the most simple and everyday tasks are more difficult. Making lunch can seem monumental and the mere thought of doing virtual school for another few weeks can make us take to our beds, sobbing in the fetal position. Advice to “look on the bright side” can be patronizing and counterproductive. This advice does none of those things but, instead, acknowledges that even a small step matters. It doesn’t dismiss the pain, but recognizes that even thinking about the future can be painful and that progress sometimes looks like making it through the day without crying

This advice also goes beyond the “sun will come out tomorrow” reminders and acknowledges that things might not be better tomorrow or the day after that. It will take time for wounds to heal and difficult times to pass, but we need not passively wait for this time to come. We can make soup, rest and be kind to ourselves.

In the early days of the pandemic, I remember feeling like there was so much more I should be doing with all this extra “at home” time. Yet I found even the most basic tasks to be more difficult. In turn, I felt guilty for not being more productive. But what I’ve learned—or rather amlearning—is that allostatic load and decision fatigue are very real. Productivity looks different on different days, and sometimes being patient with ourselves is the most productive thing we can do.

Mikhalkova’s advice taps into a mantra that I often recite when I’m struggling: Just do one good thing. Unload the dishwasher. Return an email. Fold the laundry. Hug my kids. Then do the next good thing. Eventually these things add up. Time passes and small steps turn into something bigger.

What I love most about Mikhalkova’s advice—and what is easy to forget in difficult times—is the reminder to praise ourselves along the way. Because sometimes that pat on the back we need the most is our own.


This article originally appeared on 02.07.22


Christine Organ is a writer who lives in the Chicago area with her husband, two sons, and rescue dog. You can find her on Facebook and Instagram.



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Education

Warren Buffet's partner, Charlie Munger shared his most valuable advice on becoming a success

The billionaire passed away on November 28 at the age of 99.

via Nick / Wikimedia Commons

Charlie Munger of Berkshire Hathaway.

Charles Munger, Vice Chairman of Berkshire Hathaway and Warren Buffet’s closest business partner, passed away on Tuesday, November 28, at 99. Buffett and Munger's partnership lasted over 50 years, producing Berkshire Hathaway, one of the largest and most successful conglomerates in history.

When Munger passed, his estimated worth was $2.6 billion. Buffet, 93, is believed to be worth $119 billion.

But Munger was far more than just a wealthy man. Apple CEO Tim Cook called Munger a “keen observer of the world around him,” and he was known for his pithy bits of common-sense wisdom known as “Mungerisms.”

These sayings have been collected into books, including “Poor Charlie’s Almanack: The Wit and Wisdom of Charles T. Munger.”

In a piece called “Charlie Munger on How to Lead a Successful Life,” Time magazine shared one of Munger’s most valuable pieces of advice. Munger believed that one of the best qualities one can have is the ability to see things in the inverse.

“If you turn problems around into reverse, you often think better. For instance, if you want to help India, the question you should consider asking is not “How can I help India?’ Instead, you should ask, ‘How can I hurt India?’ You find what will do the worst damage, and then try to avoid it,” Munger once said.

“Perhaps the two approaches seem logically the same thing. But those who have mastered algebra know that inversion will often and easily solve problems that otherwise resist solution. And in life, just as in algebra, inversion will help you solve problems that you can’t otherwise handle,” Munger continued.

Munger believed it’s as important to be as clear about the things we want to avoid in life as those we wish to pursue.

“What will really fail in life? What do we want to avoid? Some answers are easy,” Munger said. “For example, sloth and unreliability will fail. If you’re unreliable, it doesn’t matter what your virtues are, you’re going to crater immediately. So, faithfully doing what you’ve engaged to do should be an automatic part of your conduct. Of course, you want to avoid sloth and unreliability.”

Another piece of Munger’s advice that needs to be shared far and wide in today’s America is avoiding “extremely intense ideology” because it “cabbages up” one’s mind.

“You see a lot of it in the worst of the TV preachers. They have different, intense, inconsistent ideas about technical theology, and a lot of them have minds reduced to cabbage. That can happen with political ideology. And if you’re young, it’s particularly easy to drift into intense and foolish political ideology and never get out,” Munger said.

As a student of the human condition, Munger understood that few of us can overcome our own “self-serving bias.” So, when making persuasive arguments, it’s best to avoid using reason and, instead, appeal to the person's interests.

“You should often appeal to interest, not to reason, even when your motives are lofty,” Munger said.

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Family

4-year-old's 'sweet and sour' revelation is a solid piece of wisdom, even for adults

Life advice hits different when it comes from an adorable kiddo.

@katyrobinbird/Instagram

Emi's bike-riding revelation has people tickled.

Out of the mouths of babes comes the greatest wisdom sometimes.

Kids are brand new at this whole being a human thing, and they often vocalize what they're learning as they go. This is especially true at age 4, when they're really getting the hang of asking questions and talking about their thoughts and feelings. Sometimes the things they say are surprisingly profound, and hearing sage life advice from a preschooler is always an unexpected treat.

That's why 4-year-old Emi's revelation about finding the positives in every situation has people so tickled. Emi's mom, Katy-Robin Garton (@katyrobinbird on Instagram), often puts a mic on her daughter when they go bike riding so she can hear her better and so she can capture her musings in her adorable voice while it lasts. On this ride, Emi explained how "sour" things can be turned "sweet."

Garton wrote in the video's caption, “'How will you feel when biking ends?' I asked 4-yr-old Emi. We live in Montana so when the snow comes, biking season comes to an end. Emi replied, 'I’ll be sad, but when we can’t bike, we can ski and ice-skate!' and then she continued on with what you heard in this video, 'everything that changes, has a sweet to it.' You see?"

Emi's "You see?" is about the cutest thing ever. But her life advice here is solid, even for the grownups. So many of us can get caught up in negativity and cynicism and spirals of complaint. Sometimes we need to be reminded to find the sweet in the sour.

Watch:

"These magical moments in motion are the very reason I’m motivated to get outside and ride… and ski… and ice-skate of course," wrote Garton. "It clicked for Emi as she rode—what she and I were talking about a few days prior, how you can turn a sour thing sweet with a shift in your perspective and attitude, and how you can also do the same to turn sweet things sour. At the time, I wasn’t sure the concept had deeply clicked for her, but clearly it did in this moment. I suppose when your body is free, your mind follows."

"Emi has given me the gift I didn’t know I needed today. Thank you Emi, and thank you Mama bear for raising your kids full of love and sharing it with us, ❤️❤️" wrote one commenter.

"This is the best life lesson anyone can give and coming from a 4-yr-old it's like the most special thing. Thank you," wrote another.

"EMI Talks are the new TED Talks, 😍" shared another. (Right? Totally.)

"This is the silver lining reminder I needed to hear today." wrote another. (Same, friend.)

People in the comments also pointed out that the parenting Emi has gotten is key, but as Garton pointed out, it's not just the way her parents talk to her that led her here. It's also the fact that they go outside and do physical activity together, giving Emi's young brain a chance to process and talk through what she's been learning while she's moving her body. It's a magical combo, truly.

You can follow @katyrobinbird on Instagram to enjoy more of Emi's adorable wisdom.

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