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People over 70 share the best life advice they were given that actually stuck

"We have the privilege of being able to look back at a life well-lived."

Image via Canva

People over 70 years old share best life advice.

Gleaning knowledge and wisdom from older generations is a right of passage in life. The best life advice usually comes from people who have lived some solid years and have real experiences under their belts.

In a Reddit thread of people 70 years old or older, member LMO_TheBeginning asked their fellow septuagenarians: "Best life advice you were given? We have the privilege of being able to look back at a life well-lived," they wrote. "So what's a piece of advice you were given that you still hold onto this day and would like to pass on to others?"

The community had plenty of sage advice to share. These are 25 of the best pieces of life advice that truly stuck with people 70 or older.

wisdom, wise, advice, life advice, maya angelou Maya Angelou Life GIF Giphy

"Mine would be 'the days are long but the years are short'. This definitely applied when the kids were young and we had so many weekend activities. I miss those younger days but boy have the years passed by quicker than I could have imagined!" —LMO_TheBeginning

"Told to me by an elderly man in a nursing home (I was there to repair his TV): 'I don't regret anything that I did in my life. But boy do I regret some of the things that I did not do...' Sage wisdom." —commathree4

"'Fail early, fail often' was another one. I was a perfectionist and do wish I took more risks." —LMO_TheBeginning

fail, failure, failing, fail gif, bob dylan Fail Black And White GIF Giphy

"Life never gets easier: You just get better at it." —poetplaywright

"From a manager I had in my job shortly after getting married to my wife. In a marriage he said you should commit to the relationship more so than love. He said love will rise and fall depending on your emotions but if you are committed to the relationship you can weather the low points. This year my wife and I will celebrate 48 years together. I am more in love with my wife now than when we first married and couldn’t imagine life without her. Best advice I ever received." —Santatim_NC

"If you're on time, you're late. It's nice to get to a place 10-15 minutes early and leisurely stroll in to your appointment. And if something happens on the way, you have a buffer and don't have unnecessary stress." —LMO_TheBeginning

"My dad always told me to take care of my teeth. He said 'As the passions of life fade, the love, the work, the play, you will hold on to the joy of eating til the last. So always take care of your teeth.' He had all originals until his death, and that man loved to eat! So do I." —luckygirl54

teeth, tooth, dental health, good teeth brush teeth Teeth Getting Up GIF by Paddington Bear Giphy

"My father taught me that you need to have your own principles and ethics, and not compromise them. I don't remember his exact words but the advice was along the lines of this country song by Aaron Tippin: 'You've got to stand for something, Or you'll fall for anything.' Thanks, Dad." —yarevande

"Women. Always be self sufficient." —sepstolm

"Happiness comes from inside and it is no one's responsibility other than your own. In a romantic relationship you should be able to be more of your true self... not less. Experiences satisfy longer than things. Family, whether it is the one you are born into or the one you make, is more important and will make you happier than almost anything else in life." —SultanOfSwave

love yourself, happy, happiness, happy life, being happy Love Yourself Dancing GIF by Pose FX Giphy

"When your gas tank gets to 1/4 full, fill it up immediately! (Or you may wind up near empty when you're driving a woman in labor to the hospital in a snowstorm and have a flat tire.)" —ANameIWontHateLater

"'I am farmer not hunter'. Told to me when I was in my fifties and I didn't quite get it at first. The person telling me this was the owner of a shipping supply company and politely explained that his goal was not making a killing on the sale, but to nurture every sale with the idea this is a customer." —Lopsided-Solution-95

"Live beneath your means." —MisterMysterion

"'No' is a complete sentence." —No_Ice_4794

no, saying no, no is a complete sentence, say no, no gif Disagree No Way GIF by Apple TV+ Giphy

"I was working is a warehouse making $3.74 an hour in Canandaigua NY in 1974, and my wife was pregnant. One day, my supervisor jokingly said, 'The heck with this place, I'm joining the Army!' The next week, I signed up to join the Air Force. Best decision I ever made. Fifty years later, I'm retired after six years in the AF and 35 years as a federal contractor, life is good. PS That warehouse burned down two months after I left." —INTPaco

"In high school I had to read a book called Help Yourself to Happiness. My big take away that served me well in life was that no one can hurt your feelings (unless they stick a pencil in your ear and hit your limbic system) it is all how you process the situation. Take control of your response to any situation and choose to be happy!" —Icrad17

"It is what it is." —MaeWestFan

"Everyone is on their own path. You can help someone walk theirs but you cannot walk it for them." —cherith56

walk, walking, own path, walk your path, walking gif Happy Feeling Good GIF Giphy

"My mom's motto was pick your battles. I'd add 'but don't let yourself become a doormat.'" —Sorry_Wonder5207

"When considering a bold move in my life. Some one said, 'try'. It worked out, and changed my life. Sometimes when in doubt, inviting people to dare; can be the best advice." —rodrigo-benenson

"My Nana told me before she died (at 94) 'You can always make more money, you cant make more time' - so take the holiday, spend the time with your kids, enjoying life is more important than just increasing your bank account." —Difficult-Desk5894

"Don’t get overwhelmed at first, things always come together like a puzzle. Basically don’t give up and see the job through." —Future_Ad5392

never give up, dont give up, keep going, never quit, see job through I Dont Give Up GIF by SVU Giphy

"'Never ever EVER make anything worse, harder or more complicated. Angry? Fearful? Annoyed? Unsure? Do NOTHING until you feel better.' It’s incredible to me how much better life is when you’re not stuck rationalizing or cleaning up messes made when something unwanted happens. I have heeded this advice for 8 years now (small example: I have not sent an angry text message in all that time) and the biggest hardest challenge I'm facing today is from 3 years ago when I failed to implement this incredibly helpful advice." —louderharderfaster

"Two things. First: nothing takes the place of tenacity. And second: I can always wait tables." —kstravlr12

"Don’t let fear make your decisions for you." —coggiegirl

"Everything will work out one way or another." —Selmer1526

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Love Stories

Little girl's 'peanut butter' love song for the two boys she likes has the ultimate twist ending

“What’s a girl to do?”

Canva

Children play happily on a playground.

Kids say the darndest things and, sometimes, the "darndest things" are actual, bona fide wisdom beyond their years. When Julian Shapiro-Barnum (JSB), who hosts the popular web series Recess Therapy, seeks out these young kids for advice, he's probably always a little shocked, but never disappointed.

Based in New York City, JSB interviews kids between the ages of two and nine years old. The series resonated so sweetly with fans that The New York Times had to interview JSB, who shares, “The reason it’s called Recess Therapy is that the original idea was that I was going to bring things that I was struggling with to children and, like, get advice from them.” Per the official Recess Therapy social media pages, it's "a playground full of untrained therapists. Little kids, big questions, free advice."

One delightful year-old clip is gaining in popularity as it remakes the rounds on social media. In it, JSB asks a young girl named Zoey, "Do you know what Miles said about you recently?" Zoey beams. "He wants to marry me."

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We then cut to Miles to confirm this information. He explains, "And then I wanted to marry a NEW friend that had never been to my school named Zoey."

Back to Zoey, JSB asks, "Are you ready for that?" Zoey giggles, "I THINK." The reaction is utter shock while Zoey continues, "What's a girl to do?" She then takes a huge slurp out of her large, pink sippy cup-style water bottle.

But this takes a turn, reminiscent of cinema's best rom-coms. "There's like two people I really like," she says with a smile. JSB responds, "Oh my God, sister, what are we gonna do about it?" Zoey answers without hesitation. "Love is so confusing. It's just hard to know."

playground, chalk drawing, heart, kids, love A heart-shaped pink chalk drawing. Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

What happens next is completely unexpected. JSB asks Zoey matter-of-factly, "Should we go write a love song?" "Oooh yeah!" Zoey exclaims. Cut to: They're sitting in front of a piano when JSB asks Zoey, "Okay, what's this song about?" She answers, "A flower in love with peanut butter." Move over, Taylor Swift. We've got a new romantic in town.

They both begin to play as Zoey sings, "The flower was thinking of the peanut butter. Oooh ooooh ooooh peanut butter. The peanut butter was sooooo lonely. She had somebody she liked, but didn't know which one to choose."

JSB busts in, "Peanut butter and the jelly. But which is right for me?"

Giving the microphone back to Zoey, she shocks with her final lyrics: "But the flower didn't need anybody at all. She was perfect the way she was." He and the rest of the room erupt in applause, because…it's utter genius.

But for those worried about Miles, he gets a big win too.

Recess Therapy, Rhianna , fans, kids www.youtube.com, Recess Therapy

The comment sections agree. On the Instagram reel, there are nearly half a million likes and loads of commenters. Some are merely surprised by how good it is: "Not the song slapping me left and right."

Others really relate to the lyrics: "Who hasn’t been a flower that took too long to realize they were better off without a non-committing peanut butter?"

And one person has this advice for Zoey: "Yes flower. Just keep blooming."

The YouTube comments also continue to come in every day. One person writes, "You're not allowed to be this cool at this age. It's just not fair."

The truth is, Zoey (and all the rest of the kids) are really cool. They've already rubbed elbows with tons of celebrities who are, frankly, clamoring to chat with them. In one clip, among many hilarious moments with Steve Carrell and Will Ferrell, Carell asks Zoey, "If you were invisible, what's the first thing you'd do?" Zoey answers mischievously, "I'd try to trick my mom and dad like a ghost."

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Ferrell then asks, "Zoey, what if I asked Steve if I could borrow his car and then I never gave it back?" Zoey, without giving it a second of thought, brilliantly answers, "Why can't you just take a taxi?"

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Golden Years

I spent a week chatting with people over 80. Here are 4 pieces of wisdom they shared.

"No one warns you how many of your new friends will pass on."

Canva

Two hands of different ages grasp one another.

There are only a few things in this life we can't evade. One of them is aging. Sure, there's Botox and facelifts and all that jazz to help us look younger. But in the end, our cells simply insist on keeping score, and no matter how hard some might fight it, our DNA is bombarded with hits that will eventually take us down.

The good news is that with years often comes wisdom. I like to think of our minds as though they were hiking trails. Each trail has a sign, but instead of telling us which way to go, the signs remind us who we are. This past week, I was honored to read some of those signs at the senior home where my mom resides. Nearly every conversation, at least for me, yielded little sage sachets of advice that are truly invaluable.

Know someone before you marry them.

A woman in her early 80s shared that it takes about a year for someone's "true nature" to be revealed, even in the most intimate of relationships. (This, at least according to a professor she had in graduate school.) In other words, she says, "A person can hide their psychological pathologies, on average, for about a year."

So, she wishes younger people would wait at least that long before moving in or getting married. "Slow down," she said. "Really take your time before you take the leap. Everyone puts their best foot forward at first and then sometimes that mask can slip. Don't get stuck."

elderly man, elderly woman, relationship, honeymoon phase A man kissing a woman near the ocean. Photo by Esther Ann on Unsplash

Some research shows that the "honeymoon phase" can, of course, vary in length. Brides.com shares, "The honeymoon phase is an early part of a couple's relationship where everything seems carefree and happy. It usually lasts from six months to two years and can be marked with lots of laughs, intimacy, and fun dates."

No matter how long that phase lasts, her advice to slow down and really get to know someone before fully committing seems like (mostly) a good idea.

Listen to your doctors

elderly man, doctor's office, health, blood pressure A doctor examining a patient's wrist with a stethoscope Photo by CDC on Unsplash

I met a woman who was a retired OBGYN. We talked at length about perimenopause, hormones, and life after 50. She urges, "Do the research, but also (for the most part) listen to your doctors. Most of them know what they're doing."

We both kind of laughed, and then she leaned in and said, "No. Really." She added, "Nothing wrong with getting a second, or even third opinion. But listen and read all you can before it's too late."

Understand that time is precious

elderly, aging, friendship, time, Two men play chess. Photo by Vlad Sargu on Unsplash

One thing my mom rather casually mentioned really stuck with me. This was how difficult it is to make new friends—and not for reasons one might think. Sure, senior living facilities can be just as cliquey as groups were in middle school. But for my mother, it was less about fitting in and more about fearing she would lose people as she grew to love them.

"No one warns you how many of your new friends will pass on. When I first moved here, I befriended a brilliantly funny woman and within six months she was gone. This happens more and more and you never get used to it. You're never prepared."

If you don't want to eat dinner at 4:30, you don't have to.

On a simpler note, this one might be obvious to some, but it was certainly a common topic among the people with whom I spoke. Even though they serve dinner at 5:00 in many senior homes, it doesn't mean you can't put it in Tupperware and save it for later. To that point, just because people age, doesn't mean they have to go to bed at 8:00 p.m. (Though for many, that timeline is just perfect.)

One man noted, "Just because we all live in one place doesn't mean we all become one person. We've got night owls and early birds and every other kind of bird you could imagine. Eat and sleep when you want to. It's still your life."

His friend added, "If you want to play Mahjong at midnight, do it!"

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Golden Years

7 'old people' sayings that are actually solid life advice at every age

"Make all your words sweet because tomorrow you may have to eat them."

Photo credit: Canva

Elder wisdom can come in handy.

With age comes wisdom, or at least we hope it does. As we get older, we collect life lessons that we can pass along to younger generations, sometimes with lengthy stories and sometimes with quippy sayings.

Adages like "A penny saved is a penny earned," or "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise," have been part of our collective treasure chest of life advice for generations, but the aphorisms that spring from the experience of our loved ones and mentors are often the most meaningful.

Someone shared that they'd read and appreciated this old man's advice: “My grandpa once told me 'if you get on the wrong train, get off at the nearest station, the longer it takes you to get off, the more expensive the return trip will be.' He wasn’t talking about trains.” The person asked for more tidbits of wisdom from old folks and people started sharing sayings they heard from their elders growing up.

from AskOldPeopleAdvice

Here are some of the best "old man advice" sayings and how they can be applied in a person's life.

"You might miss what’s ahead of you if you keep concentrating on what’s in the rear view mirror."

Another commenter put it another way: "Don't look behind you, you aren't going that way." This adage is about not dwelling on the past. Many of us have a tendency to spend more time mentally in the past, rehashing old memories or being nostalgic for what once was, than we do in the present or looking forward to the future. There's nothing wrong with a little reflection, but if most of our focus is in the past, we miss out on the present. Rear view mirrors are for quick glances, not where our focus should be.

"Do the right thing, even if nobody is watching."

This saying is about good character and true integrity. If you notice someone drop a $20 bill and no one is around to see but you, do you give it back to them or do you pick it up and keep it? If you realize that a store didn't charge you for an item, do you point it out and make it right or do you allow the mistake to remain? There are opportunities each day for us to choose between right and wrong, and those choices really speak to who we are if they are made without anyone else knowing.

integrity, right, wrong, right thing, doing good lisa simpson help GIF Giphy

"Be nice to everybody you meet on the way up the ladder. You'll see the same faces on the way down "

Don't get cocky and don't burn bridges you think you won't need to return to. There's value in being kind for its own sake, but there's also the reality that being kind also makes people like you. When people like you, they're more likely to lend you a helping hand, and you never know when you're going to be in a position to need one. It's also a good reminder that you're not inherently better than anyone else just because of where you are in life. We're all constantly in flux, so it's important to stay humble and kind.

In other words, "Make all your words sweet because tomorrow you may have to eat them."

"One of the most powerful negotiating tools is silence."

The power of silence in general is often underrated, but it can be an especially useful tool in a negotiation. Some people are so uncomfortable with silence that they will make concessions simply to avoid it. And sometimes the best response to an unreasonable demand is to just say nothing and stare, letting the other party come to the realization themselves. It takes calm confidence to simply be quiet and let the silence fill the room, which can feel surprisingly intimidating.

"Always listen to your gut, even if you can’t explain it."

Ah, the strange and mysterious sense of intuition that we can't really describe but know when we feel it. Whether it's getting a creepy vibe about a person or a little voice telling you to do or not do something, those "gut instincts" can serve us well. Of course, if we are prone to anxiety, our instincts can sometimes be confused with anxious thoughts, but "go with your gut" is solid advice anyway.

gut feeling, listen to your gut, go with your gut, intuition, discernment Listen To It Season 1 GIF by The Roku Channel Giphy

“It doesn’t matter what path you’re on if it’s the wrong mountain.”

Sometimes people trying to find their way end up hitting roadblock after roadblock, which may mean they just haven't found the right path yet or might mean they need an entire overhaul of their life. That might look like switching career paths entirely, rather than trying to find a job in your field that fits. It might mean changing majors in the middle of your studies when you find yourself not enjoying any of your classes. It might mean finding a new community or reevaluating your relationships.

"The harder I work, the luckier I get."

Several sayings line up with this one, like "Luck is the intersection of preparation and opportunity," and "Luck favors the prepared mind." There's a lot to be said for fortune and hard work going hand in hand. If we expect good things to just land in our lap, we will likely be disappointed, but if we move in the direction of things we want to happen and do the work of preparing for good things to come our way, "luck" frequently seems to follow.

luck, hard work, lucky, good luck, napoleon dynamite Napoleon Dynamite GIF by Ben L Giphy

Finding a saying that resonates can be really helpful when we're facing a specific challenge in life, especially when we commit it to memory and repeat it often.

This article originally appeared in March.

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Motherhood

80-year-old has special, tearjerking message for under-appreciated stay-at-home moms

SAHMs need support and encouragement, and not just from each other.

Photo credit: Canva, @magicman1942/TikTok

Donal Schaefer's message is making so many SAHMS feel seen.

"Being a stay-at-home parent isn't a job! How hard is it to hang out with the baby all day?" Ever heard that one? Hopefully, you're hearing it less and less these days as people realize that "hanging out with the kids" is actually extremely difficult.

Stay-at-home moms work round the clock performing myriad duties, both physically and emotionally demanding, all for zero compensation. Not only does the job not pay (some studies show the value of the labor itself is worth nearly $160,000 per year), it doesn't usually come with a whole lot of respect or prestige. Even more dismaying than the lack of monetary gain is the lack of recognition these full-time moms get for what they accomplish day in and day out.

That’s where Donald Schaefer comes in. Schaefer, a man who seems to be upwards of 80 and living in Florida, is a bit of an unexpected influencer in the mom corner of social media.

sahms, heartwarming, moms, parenthood, stay-at-home mom, motherhood, encouragement, parenting advice Stay-at-home moms trying to find a second to themselves to send an email. Giphy

But nonetheless, his Instagram and TikTok are full of videos meant to offer financial tips, recipe ideas and emotional support specifically for this demographic. He helps stay-at-home moms work on side hustles and at-home businesses to supplement their income, you know, the one that they're not getting for all the hard work they're doing.

One video in particular is making stay-at-home moms, aka SAHMs, feel so seen.

In his “special message to stay-at-home moms,” Schaefer offers SAHMS the rare gift of being told what an “incredible job” they’re doing, saying that their “dedication, hard work and love are the cornerstones of your family’s well being.”

Watching his daughters and granddaughters with kids, Schaefer says that he’s “amazed” at what accomplished every day, and because of that, he was inspired to remind all SAHMS that “what you’re doing matters immensely.”

“Sometimes in the midst of the chaos of daily routines and endless chores it’s easy to forget how important your role is, but every meal cooked, every scraped knee kissed, every bedtime story read, it all adds up to shaping the future generation,” he said.

@magicman1942
Special message for the stay at home moms. #stayathomemom #personalgrowth #inspiration #stayathomemomstruggle #workingmom #personal

Schaefer went on to say that it’s “perfectly normal” to get overwhelmed or exhausted with all the responsibilities and isolation that come with the job. That’s what makes self care so necessary.

The isolation, in particular, can be a doozy. Many stay-at-home moms work incredibly hard to maintain a network of other parents with whom to plan play dates, lunches, and other social or kid-centric outings. Without just that little of bit of human connection, almost anyone would crumble to pieces.

“Whether it’s stealing a few moments for yourself during nap time, indulging in a hobby you love, or simply just taking a relaxing bath at the end of the day if you can find the time. Prioritize your well being,” he urged.

He then encouraged SAHMs to carve out moments to celebrate the small victories and appreciate the joys of motherhood, whether that looks like “a successful day of homeschooling” or “simply seeing your little one smile.”

Finally, Schaefer brought it all home by reiterating that even if it doesn't always feel like it, a SAHM’s value is “immeasurable.”

“Trust me. You are the heart and soul of your family and your efforts create a warm and nurturing environment where everyone can thrive. Keep shining your light and know that you are appreciated, loved and admired more than you’ll ever know. You’re doing an amazing job, and the world is a better place because of you,” he concluded.

Understandably, viewers were moved. Over a million people watched the video and hundreds chimed in with their appreciation for the message.

sahms, heartwarming, moms, parenthood, stay-at-home mom, motherhood, encouragement, parenting advice Being a SAHM mom isn't all snuggles and kisses. But it's nice to remember to enjoy those moments when they do come. Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

“Made me tear up!! What man takes the time to encourage moms? None I’ve known. Thank you,” one person wrote.

“This definitely made me cry,” another echoed. “Thank you for such kind words and taking the time to make this video. It touched my heart so much.”

One commented, “I’m not even a SAHM, and I still felt this! ALL moms can relate I think…thank you sir!”

And still, another simply wrote, “Needed this.”

Moms, and stay-at-home moms, are fierce about their community and support for one another. They're quick to lift each other up, lend a helping hand, and heap words of praise on one another. But sometimes they need encouragement from outside their little tribe.

In Schaefer, here's a guy who's been around for a long time and seen it all. In his 80-plus years of wisdom, it speaks volumes that his appreciation for the hard work and sacrifice of stay-at-home moms has only grown.

For every SAHM (or any stay-at-home parent, for that matter) may these kind words help bolster your spirit, and remind you that what you do is important indeed. You deserve that, and so much more. The good news is that the world at large is starting to realize it, too.

For more of Schaefer's content, find him on Instagram and TikTok.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Joy

15 people share the one sentence they'll never forget because it completely changed their lives

"Never try to hate anyone; often they don't care, and you're left doing all the work."

via Canva/Photos

A woman having a revelation.

There’s nothing quite like having a breakthrough moment. When you hear something that completely reframes how you view a relationship or challenging life situation that helps you move past the barrier and into a new headspace, it can be exhilarating. It’s like scratching an itch that you didn’t know you had.

"Breakthrough is that moment when frustration, struggling, fear, worry, or anxiety disappears,” famed personal development coach Tony Robbins once said. “It's a moment of insight, recognition about who you are, and the realization that you are more than the moment. It's a radical, massive improvement in the quality of your life, and as a result, all those you have the privilege to touch."

A Redditor on the Confession subforum asked people to share the “one sentence that completely changed their life,” and they received over 1,000 responses from people who heard the right wisdom at the right time and never forgot it. These sentences are powerful truths that helped people stuck in a rut realize they had the power to change or move on.

advice, breakthroughs, confessions, wisdom, moments, thinking, advice A mom consoling her daughter.via Canva/Photos

Here are 15 sentences that completely changed people’s lives.

1. Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.

"That's a spin on an old saying, 'They tried to bury us, but they didn't realise we were seeds.'"

2. Never try to hate anyone; often they don't care, and you're left doing all the work.

"Said by a friend of mine at a very critical time in my life. It's been said in other ways, but that one stuck with me for the last 35+ years."

"Makes me think of this gem: Never get in a fight with a pig. You both get covered in sh*t but the pig enjoys it."

"Hate corrodes the vessel it's carried in."

3. Have you had a bad day, or did you have a bad 5 minutes that you let ruin your day?

"I love this one explained with money. If I gave you $100, then I stole 5, would you burn/throw away the rest?"

"I need someone to remind me of this sometimes! I'm not neurotypical and I can tell sometimes that when things can't go to my plan or agreed schedule it can be like a monkey wrench in a gear and just PAUSE my life in a way I hate sometimes."

A woman upset on the couch.via Canva/Photos

4. People are quick to accept that the smallest change in the past can dramatically change the present, yet refuse to accept that the smallest action today can completely change the world.

"Hindsight’s 20/20 as they say, and it’s easier to know the difference between the outcome compared to the present. Whereas our current actions, we really have no way of knowing how it’ll affect the future, as there are so many other variables that could affect things, and we can’t see into the future."

5. Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm

"This reminds of an African proverb I heard: Beware the naked man who offers you clothes."

6. I love you enough to let you hate me.

"My mom told me once during a heated argument in my teens, 'I love you enough to let you hate me.' Powerful."

7. Never break two laws at once; that's how you draw attention to yourself.

“If you have a body in the trunk, make sure you use your turn signals.”

"My dad was in law enforcement and told me that was how they often caught people. An example he used was at night when someone forgot to turn off their high beams there was a reasonable chance they might be an impaired driver."

12. You never know what someone is going through, always be kind.

"Always react with kindness. It costs you nothing and can make most situations much better."

13. Righty tighty, lefty loosey.

"Lives rent free in my head and has helped me every damn day of my life! Hahaha!"

"Especially when putting together furniture, saved me hours with allen keys."

14. The price of procrastination is the life you could have lived.

"Love this one!"

15. Let today be the day you learn the grace of letting go, and the power of moving on.

"I needed this thank you."

This article originally appeared in May.

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Health

Science confirms ‘Move in Silence’ trend might be the smartest way to achieve your goals

“I promise you things always work out better when you keep them to yourself.”

TikTok: @wemiopakunle, @_alliechen, @mandanazarfhami,

Science confirms ‘Move in Silence’ trend might be the smartest way to achieve your goals.

TikTok's latest viral wisdom is backed by hard data—and it's making people rethink their communication habits. We live in a world of chronic oversharing. We post everything, from the routes we run (including screenshots as proof of all that hard work), to the pale-green iced matcha latte sitting at our desks or a present from a boyfriend (who will be tagged prominently, not secretly off screen). Who knows when, but our brains became wired for sharing: to record, to curate, and to post every second of our lives, then consume that of others to a disturbing degree. So, here's a radical idea: when it comes to goals and plans, try keeping them to yourself. It could be the key to making them a reality.

That's the message behind TikTok's massively popular "Move in Silence" trend, where creators like @noemoneyyy have cracked the contradictory code to success: Instead of broadcasting every big idea or project that runs through your head, if you actually want it to come to fruition, keep your plans to yourself until they're executed. And it's not just a trend; surprisingly, science also supports this muted approach.

@noemoneyyy
Work in private and let the results speak! #privatelife #privatelifehappylife #workinprivate #creatorsearchinsights

"As a former oversharer who used to tell every single friend, every single family member, or a partner everything I was doing, I promise you things always work out better when you keep them to yourself," explains creator @noemoneyyy in a video that's garnered millions of views.

On a different video by @mandanazarfhami, she says, “I don’t care what you’ve got going on in your life: that dream job, that city that you want to move to, that dream person, that dream life, that dream anything. Literally keep it to yourself until it’s done.”

Commentors were quick to agree, with one person writing: “From a young age, I never told anyone my next steps. I also taught my husband and son to keep our private matters to themselves and just do things 💯Not many people like it, but who cares🌝🙌🏼🫶🏼”

Another chimed in, “This concept has changed my life for the better.” Others replied, “100 agree 💕” and “100%🙌🏼people can’t ruin what is silent, show results.”

@mandanazarghami
monitoring spirits are a real thing - move in silence and watch how much your life changes #fypシ

What's going on here

In a study done by New York University, researchers found that people who kept their goals private worked on tasks for an average of 45 minutes, compared to the 33 minutes of work completed by those who announced their plans in advance. The twist? The people who shared their goals expressed feeling closer to finishing, despite doing approximately 25% less work.

NYU psychologist Peter Gollwitzer, who led the research, concluded that "once you've told other people your intentions, it gives you a 'premature sense of completeness.'" He also found that the brain is made up of "identity symbols," which create one's self-image. Interestingly, both action and talking about action create symbols in your brain, so simply speaking about a future plan or something you want to do satisfies that part of your brain. When we make our goals public, especially ones that matter to us and deal with our identity, our ability to achieve said goal is significantly reduced. As the old adage goes, "actions speak louder than words."

Stranger still, in his paper "Does Social Reality Widen the Intention-Behavior Gap," Gollwitzer notes that in order for this phenomenon to happen, one must truly care about their goals. "Ironically, this effect was only found for participants who are very committed to their goal!" PsychologyToday notes. "The lesson learned is that the more passionate you are about your goals, the more secretive you should be about them."

Quiet, silence, peace, shhh, no speaking, secret The more passionate you are about your goals, the more secretive you should be. Photo credit: Canva

Another reason to keep quiet: If you're a beginner trying something new, sharing your plans could potentially open you up to criticism and negative feedback, which could deter you from even starting. At the University of Chicago, professor Ayelet Fishbach conducted studies to determine how positive and negative feedback affects the pursuit of one's goal. According to Atlassian, she and her team found:

When positive feedback signals commitment to a goal, it increases motivation.
When positive feedback signals progress, it actually decreases motivation.

"One example the researchers give is a math student who gets a good grade on a test. If she perceives it to mean she likes math, she will study harder. If, however, she sees the high score as a sign she is making progress in the class, she may ease up and study less." - Atlassian

@_alliechen
I used to be such an open book but now im a lot more reserved on my goals and plans so ppl dont judge #moveinsilence #relateablecontent #girlies #viral #success

We've all been there: excitedly telling everyone about your grand plans to backpack through Europe, the year you'll finally learn Spanish, or joining the group lesson at the tennis courts you always pass by… only to mysteriously lose all motivation a week later. Turns out, those lovely dopamine bursts that accompany every enthusiastic "That sounds great!" or "You should totally do it!" response might be precisely what's holding you back.

The good news? You don't need to become closed-off and secretive, a hermit on the top of a mountain who's afraid to share any part of themselves with the world. Research suggests that sharing your goals with one or two selected friends who can be trusted to provide meaningful support is still a good idea. Just hold off on the Instagram Live announcement until you've actually accomplished something substantial.

So, the next time you sit down to write your goals, whether they be a new year's resolution, the day's to-do list, or a five-year plan, think twice about sharing it with others. Give it time and you might have something better to share soon: the results.

This article originally appeared in April.

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