Five things that can help rein in anxiety.
Having anxiety is fun and by fun I mean extremely inconvenient and overwhelming. If you don't experience anxiety then the idea of something invisible seemingly coming out of nowhere to activate your fight or flight response may seem strange. But it's the reality for more than 40 million people, and while no two people's anxiety looks exactly the same, there are some things that can help sufferers get through the day when anxiety shows up.
Anxiety can happen at any time and in any place, like at home watching TV or when trying to fall asleep. But most of the time it rears its head when people are away from the comfort of home. If you suffer from anxiety you'll be familiar with the feeling of having to repeat to yourself "be cool," when you are, in fact, not cool at all. Anxiety is always playing side-splitting jokes on sufferers when they least expect it—heavy on the sarcasm in that sentence. So what are you supposed if you suffer from anxiety and it just won't go away and let you live in peace? Lucky for you, I've created a list of what works for me, as a fellow sufferer, and that hopefully will help you too.
Stress balls.
Chameleon stress ball from Amazon
1. Something to squeeze or pop helps nervous energy.
Sometimes anxiety may feel like pent-up energy, so having something physical to do to relieve that energy can be really helpful. I've found that stress balls can really help get that "I'm about to go screaming down the hallway to cry in the bathroom" feeling to calm the heck down a bit. It may not take the anxiety away completely, but it will give you something to do with that energy and it's something you can do under your desk or in a meeting.
Calming spray.
Calm Aromatherapy Mist from Amazon
2. Mmmm, something that smells good can help.
Smell is a powerful tool when it comes to a lot of things but there's something about it that can really help calm your anxiety, especially when coupled with other tools. The smell you pick can literally be anything that makes you feel safe or calm. Your laundry detergent, perfume or lemons. Whatever it is, put it on a piece of fabric and shove that bad boy in a Ziploc bag for when you need to open it up for a whiff of "calm the heck down." If you're not sure where to start for smells, you can try lavender and chamomile spray.
Adult coloring book from Amazon
3. A coloring book works wonders.
Coloring books cover multiple sensory areas at once. You get to feel the pages, smell the crayons or colored pencils, and you get to see the colors. It's the sensory jackpot for anxiety and you can do this activity at work in your office or at home. I prefer the kid coloring books that have the giant pages so I can pretend I'm 9 years old. I lay on the floor and don't care about the lines. I highly recommend entertaining your inner child.
"Let That Sh*t Go Journal" from Amazon
4. Grab a journal and get it out.
Well, well, well, if it isn't the thing that therapists keep bringing up in sessions about taking care of yourself. You know they wouldn't keep harping on it if it didn't actually work for a lot of people. This journal is just a fun sweary journal with prompts for people who may not be good at writing what's on their mind. Journaling may be really helpful, but it shouldn't be something that stresses you out. If you find yourself freaking out over getting the journal done, then throw it in the trash because it's not serving the purpose it's supposed to.
Collage of items for sensory box.
Collage images from Canva
5. Keep a sensory box at work and home.
I like to call this my "take 15 box." Sometimes we need a little break to get it together and a sensory box is something you can stash at the office or at home. Basically what you put in a sensory box are things that will appease all five senses, which some therapists use to bring you back to the moment. Instead of looking around for the items, they're all in one spot. In the box you'll want to have some sort of candy for taste, cloth sprayed with whatever fragrance you prefer in an airtight bag, something visual like bubbles, a stress ball or pop it, and I'd say a CD, but no one uses those anymore so have a relaxing playlist ready and extra set of headphones in case you misplace yours.
Whatever your anxiety looks like, hopefully some of the things on this list work for you. Anxiety can be stressful and those of us who suffer from it need all the tips we can get for overcoming those moments.
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.