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stay at home moms

Modern Families

Her husband said being a mom was 'easy'. She spent 24 hours in a hotel and let him try it himself.

"I decided my husband was going to tell me for the last time today that my job is easy."

hollayyyeee/TikTok & Derek Owens/Unsplash

Holly McBride had finally had enough. After repeatedly being accused of "having it easy" while he went off to work every day, she decided to prove a point. If it was so easy, he wouldn't mind at all if she took a little vacation and left him to take care of the kids and the house by himself.

In a now-viral video on TikTok, Holly explained her reasoning.

"Hi, my name is Holly and I decided that my husband was gonna tell me for the very last time today that my job is easy and being a mom is super easy, because I get to stay home with the kids all day," she began in the short and sweet selfie video.

In the background, you could see the makings of a simple hotel room. A cozy bed, some basic decor. She was definitely not kidding around.

"So I left him in the middle of, well, very, very early in the morning, right before my son wakes up for his very early morning bottle. And I went and got a hotel room. I got an Uber so that he would have the car for the kids, and I got myself a hotel room, and I'm about to go get a bagel and eat that bagel and watch TV and sleep. I don't have to check out 'til 11am. I hope you have a good day babe."

Then she blew her husband a kiss for good measure.

@hollayyyeee

Im half asleep because i made sure to check in early so i get the longest amount of sleep and take out 🥰 #momtok #tiredmomsoftiktok #fedupwife #uninterruptedsleep #outerbanksnetflix #binge

Fellow moms raucously cheered Holly on in the comments.

The support was overwhelming, and the main sentiment seemed to be: Good for you! Fans and followers encouraged Holly to milk her self-care trip for all it was worth.

"Go see a movie after you check out, have lunch, go to Target" one said.

"When you get home - ask what's for dinner and what he did all day and why your laundry isn't done. then go to the toilet for 45 minutes. then pat the kid's head. then go to the basement until dinner."

Gabriel Alenius/Unsplash

"Ask for a late checkout" said another.

"If he asks when you are coming home, tell him you will be home when you’ll be home. If he asks you to go to the store, make sure to get the wrong things."

"I wanted to do that for years! Just got divorced instead."

So many women chimed in with admiration for Holly's "backbone" in standing up for herself. The comments were teeming with frustration at husbands who don't do their fair share and don't understand the mental and physical load of being a full-time mom.

If the response to this video is any indication, way more moms are in dire need of a break!

The myth that being a mom, especially one that stays at home, is easy just refuses to go away.

The wildest part of this story is, Holly isn't even a stay-at-home mom! She runs an in-home daycare from their house, so she's in charge of not only her own kids, but others as well! It's baffling that anyone could think being a mom and a childcare provider at the same time was anything but grueling work.

We've made good strides when it comes to our perceptions of stay-at-home parents, but clearly there is work still to do. Misconceptions persist, like the fact that playing with kids isn't work, laundry and cooking and dishes just magically take care of themselves, and that stay-at-home parents have no drive or ambition in life.

I'm guessing Holly's husband will have a new appreciation for her hard work after a day or two spent taking care of the kids and the house by himself. Here's hoping it leads to a more balanced and less-judgmental household, and more frequent breaks for Holly down the road!

Family

Stay-at-home-mom shares the incredibly frustrating thing that took 8 years to realize

“I think that that’s a thing that nobody really talks about."

via EclecticHomeSchooling/TikTok (used with permission)

Syd explains one of the most frustrating parts of being a stay-at-home-mom.

There are many ways for people with careers to feel validated. You can get a raise, a promotion, a great review from your manager, or a professional award. You can also be someone respected in your profession and a mentor to younger people entering your field.

These forms of validation help someone feel valuable and accomplished and are all tangible in some way. You can say, "I’m now the vice president of manufacturing," "I won the Excellence in Sales Award," or "I have a larger number on my paycheck."

Syd, a stay-at-home mom named @eclectivhomeschooling on TikTok, recently shared that, unfortunately, moms who work in the home have a hard time finding that same feeling of validation. “Something that I think that a lot of people don’t realize about being a stay-at-home mom, whether you are a homeschool mom or your kids are young and you’re staying home with them during those years, is that there’s no measurement of success. There’s no metric,” she begins her video.


“There’s no one saying ‘congratulations, you have been promoted; you are the top of the top of this skill.’ None of that,” she continued. There is no award for an outstanding stay-at-home mom, and there is no manager to give her a review or promotion.

She says that being a good mother to her kids “feels good” and “makes us happy” but argues that it isn’t something you can “hold” or “write down.”

@eclectichomeschooling

It’s everyone’s favorite time of the month! Where I post insane, 3-5 minute, PMS ramblings about motherhood! Okay love you, bye! 😎

“We’re going on eight years of not being able to measure [success],” she continued. “I think that that’s a thing that nobody really talks about or that we don’t really get to talk about with each other. Your partner goes to work: they get promoted, they get raises, they complete their work for the day and they ... get to be like, ‘OK, I succeeded.’ But my [work] is just constant, all of the time, and there’s no metric for it.”

The dishes that Syd cleans will be dirty the next day. The laundry she folds on Monday will be worn on Tuesday and rewashed on Friday.

Although Syd has yet to find a solution to this problem, she sees other ways to get the validation she craves. “It’s hard, especially because a lot of us don’t prioritize hobbies for ourselves. That’s a great place for us to find success or a feeling of accomplishment,” she said.



Syd’s video struck a chord with many stay-at-home mothers feeling the same way.

A commenter named Leigh noted that the need for external validation comes from the corporate culture in which Americans are raised. “On my best days, it is interesting to notice how tied we are to corporate-style success. On my worst, it is inescapably crushing,” she wrote in the most popular comment.

“It's the neverending loops that are never complete. We never get the satisfaction of a ‘job well done’ because nothing is ever really done,” Hazel added. “Once I started focusing on my own happiness, it got better.”

According to Love, the lack of praise for a job well done also means that it’s easy to be criticized. “When you’re doing everything right, there’s no praise, etc., but if you do anything wrong or are not perfect, then the issue gets thrown in your face in every way. So you end up feeling like a failure,” she wrote.



Syd told Upworthy that her followers have tried to help her recontextualize her feelings of worth. “Since the video, I’ve had a lot of conversations with moms about how we measure worth by being very wrapped up in productivity through a capitalist lens. It can be tough to divest from that, but it is also so important. Like, what’s a safe and secure childhood worth? Nothing technically, but also the entire world. We do that!” she told Upworthy.

She adds that a few of her followers suggested she should take up martial arts as a hobby. “I’m still pondering that one,” she told Upworthy.

Ultimately, Syd’s realization could have caused her to feel down about herself or resign to a never-ending feeling of being unfulfilled. However, she’s seen it as an opportunity to reevaluate her sense of self-worth and possibly as a reason to branch off into new and exciting hobbies outside her family.

Images via Unsplash

Emily Vondy's mom fail.

Sometimes, we have to just laugh at our failures.

“Here’s a little story to allow all the moms of littles out there to maybe feel a little better about yourself,” Emily Vondy told her 1.3 million TikTok followers.

In a TikTok video that has now garnered more than 500,000 views, Vondy shared perhaps one of the most hilarious “mom fail” stories of all time: forgetting her son’s actual birthdate.

After a recent trip to the pediatrician, Vondy was ready to give her insurance company the ol’ what for, after being told her son’s birthday was February 25.

“Per my words: ‘my son’s birthday is the 26th. I’m his mother. I know his birthday,’” Vondy affirmed. Emphatically so.

@thevondyfam How’s your day going? #momfail #mombrain #parenting101 #sahm ♬ original sound - Emily Vondy

A quick scroll through Facebook to find the original birth date announcement proved the correct birthdate was, in fact, the 25th. Whoops.

“For two years I’ve been celebrating his birthday on the 26th!” exclaimed Vondy.

To make matters worse, Vondy revealed this was her middle child. My, my, how stereotypes manifest themselves.

She then shouted “I love my kids! They may not have their birthday celebration on the correct day but they celebrate it the next!” She then hilariously tried to sign off with a quick “Merry Christmas,” only to realize “Christmas is over!”

We get it, Vondy. What is time, anyway?

Parents and children alike delivered comments nearly as entertaining as the video itself:


If you enjoy Vondy’s ultra silly charm (that definitely gives off Amy Poehler vibes, no?), you’re in luck. Her channel is full of truly delightful videos that capture parenting life in a real, yet comical way.

I mean, just look at her music video promoting the meal delivery service Home Chef, complete with a “no prep two step.”

@thevondyfam #ad They had me at “oven ready” 💙 use code VONDY90 for $90 off. Link in Bio #hookedonhomechef ♬ original sound - Emily Vondy

Or her Target rap that no one asked for but everyone needs.

@thevondyfam My official application to be sponsored by target 😅 #momcontent #target #targetfinds #momcomedy ♬ original sound - Emily Vondy

Or eating a large pizza less than half an hour after giving birth.

@thevondyfam #answer to @Leo | IG: leocaballes THE BEST pizza I’ve ever eaten. #laboranddelivery #birthstory #birthcenterbirth ♬ original sound - Emily Vondy

Yes, mama. Treat yo’ self.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I’m off to go check my birth certificate to see if I’ve been living a lie.


This article originally appeared on 1.25.22


Family

Texas UPS driver proudly explains why he never helps his wife do any chores

“I don’t help her clean, do laundry, take care of the kids — none of that.”

J.R. Minton's video has over 6 million views.

Even though America has come a long way in gender relations over the past few decades men are still far behind women when accepting domestic responsibilities.

A recent study from the Bureau of Labor Statistics' American Time Use Survey found that women aged 15 and over spend 5.7 hours daily on domestic tasks, whereas men spend 3.6 hours, a 37 percent difference. Women with a 35-hour week devote 4.9 hours daily to home chores and child care, compared to men's 3.8 hours.

In a world where men still trail behind women when it comes to work on the homefront, a Texas UPS driver is going viral for a TikTok video where he urges men to reconsider how they think about domestic responsibilities.


In a video with over 6 million views, J.R. Minton proudly says he doesn’t “help” his wife with jobs around the house. “I don’t help my wife cook. I don’t help her clean, do laundry, take care of the kids — none of that,” Minton, 32, began his clip.

Warning: Strong language.

So, why does Minton refuse to help his wife?

"Because I do what I am supposed to do as a father and a husband. I cook. I clean. I do the laundry. I take care of the kids. I can't help my wife do those things because they are my job, too,” he reveals.

He then urged men to change their perspectives on how they view their relationship to domestic responsibilities and their wives. “Change the way you speak, change the way you think, and grow the f*** up and be a man," he added.

The video received raves from women in the comments. Sadly, many used the video to share that their husbands have fallen short of Minton’s level of understanding. "My husband sometimes doesn’t even flush the toilet," Human Robot wrote. "I am sending this straight to my man he needs to see this," JJsMom added.

"Yep! My husband and I recognize it’s BOTH our kids and BOTH our house, therefore BOTH our responsibility," Sweetheart wrote.

Minton is an equal partner to his wife because he was raised much differently and wants to right the wrongs of his past. “Pretty much everything about my parenting style is in spite of what I saw when I was growing up,” he told Today.com

Minton knew that his philosophy on marriage was necessary when a woman at Target praised him for doing the “bare minimum." “I was wearing the baby, and I had two kids in the cart, and this lady comes up to Brittany, and she’s like, ‘Oh my God. Is this your husband!? Look at him. You should take a picture of him,’” Minton said. “I get so much credit for doing nothing. How low is the bar?"

Minton responded to his viral video with a heartfelt follow-up to everyone who loved how he cared for his wife and family. “I’m truly humbled at how far my message has gone,” he said. “However, I’d like to take a second to say: I am not special. I am no ‘unicorn.’ I am normal.”

“Nothing about my parenting style or my commitment to my wife is unique. Although it may seem out of the ordinary, it is far from extraordinary,” he continued. “Every father and husband we know (that seems to come up short) is fully-capable — yet unwilling.” He added that there was one thing that separates dads who do their part and dads who don’t: “Effort.”


This article originally appeared on 10.16.23