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gender roles

Fatherhood

Dad with postpartum depression took his baby on a walk. It started a mental health movement.

"Because fatherhood is better together."

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A dad takes his child on a stroller ride.

Kalvin Bridgewater couldn't quite put his finger on why he felt so off after his newborn daughter arrived. Sure, he was exhausted—babies can cause that. His wife was suffering with crying jags and anxiety, which, as a society, we often pinpoint as postpartum depression. They sought help for her, but Kalvin's mental health continued to decline.

He shares on his website, "I didn't even notice how much I was changing myself. My health was declining and my weight went from 200 to 265 from stress eating—food became my only comfort from what I now know was postpartum depression."

The National Library of Medicine reports that postpartum depression in men can occur soon after a child is born. "It is frequently reported in mothers but can also occur in fathers. There are no established criteria for PPD in men, although it could present over the course of a year, with symptoms of irritability, restricted emotions, and depression."

Bridgewater shares that one day he took their baby for a walk in a stroller. He was joined by about four other dads who would also take their babies for walks together. They started calling themselves the Daddy Stroller Social Club. "This grew to 75 to 100 dads coming out to these events," he shares on a TikTok video that's chyron reads, "These dads turned stroller walks into a powerful support group."

We see the words "Because fatherhood is better together," as Bridgewater continues: "We just started bonding, socializing and creating a community for dads. If we're able to share the knowledge that we receive and get the extra tools. That wasn't passed down to us. To not just be a better father—be a better husband, somebody better in the community."

Daddy Stroller Social Club (DSSC), their website makes clear, "was born out of a need for community. The vision was inspired by Eve Akins, a Dallas doula and her community of young mothers that get together on the weekends and uplift each other."

The key for DSSC is not only to bond with one another and to be better fathers and partners, but also to spread the word about this rather common mental affliction. "We are committed to de-stigmatizing paternal postpartum depression through community-building, advocacy, outreach, and storytelling. By amplifying the voices of fathers and promoting early intervention, we aim to create a space where fathers and father-figures can access communal support, education, and the wellness services they need in order to be functioning caretakers of their family unit."

The TikTok and Instagram comments—of which there are many—are incredibly supportive. One person writes, "This movement is powerful and priceless."

On an Instagram reel where the DSSC writes "Propaganda we're not falling for:" they list, in part, "Boys will be boys. Toxic masculinity. Gender roles. Rest equals laziness." A commenter writes, "This is great that you all are dismantling the myths, men go through their own postpartum journey! A lot of my clients are males going through difficulty adjusting to this new phase of life. Let’s continue to normalize this."

And one of the most exciting parts? What began in Dallas/Ft. Worth has now spread to chapters around the country. They're called "strides," and they are rolling out quickly—from Atlanta to Los Angeles to Philly and more.

It's concrete proof that just taking that (literal) first step can make positive change, not just for one person, but for an entire community.

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Education

8 changes that were made to a classic Richard Scarry book to keep up with the times. Progress!

All the misogyny and racism you may not have noticed are now gone.

Images via Alan Taylor/Flickr, used with permission.

Updating the kitchen.


Remember those beloved Richard Scarry books?

Books from when you were a kid?

Like a lot of people, I grew up reading them.

And now, I read them to my kids.

books, education, philosophy

Richard Scarry’s Best Storybook Ever

Images via Alan Taylor/Flickr, used with permission.

If that doesn't ring a bell, perhaps this character from the "Busytown" series will. Classic!

evolution, gender roles, equality

Apple Car.

Images via Alan Taylor/Flickr, used with permission.

Scarry was an incredibly prolific children's author and illustrator. He created over 250 books during his career. His books were loved across the world — over 100 million were sold in many languages.

But here's something you may not have known about these classics: They've been slowly changing over the years.

Don't panic! They've been changing in a good way.

Scarry started publishing books in the 1950s, when times were, well, a little different. So some of the details were quietly updated.

Alan Taylor, a senior editor for the photo section of The Atlantic, noticed differences back in 2005 and decided to photograph them. From his Flickr album:

"The 1963 edition is my own, bought for me in the late 60's when I was a toddler, and read to tatters. The 1991 edition belongs to my kids today. I was so familiar with the older one that I immediately started noticing a few differences, and so have catalogued 14 of the more interesting differences here in this collection."

Taylor found 14 pages with differences between the original and updated versions.

Here are eight changes that reflect some of the progress society has made:

1. First up: The cover got a makeover. It might seem subtle at first glance, but look closely.

words, growth, creative

Richard Scarry’s Best Word Book Ever

Images via Alan Taylor/Flickr, used with permission.

The original has a woman (bunny) in the kitchen, while the updated cover has both a man and a woman (still bunnies) in the kitchen. Also: The "policeman" bear changed to a woman, and the label changed to "police officer." The word "mailman" became "letter carrier," and a female farmer was added. Oh, and we went from a cat-mom pushing the stroller to cat-dad! Progress!

(The bunny brushing its teeth in the house was changed from a boy to a girl, but I'm not gonna read into that because hopefully all bunny-kids brush their teeth, right? I mean, for the sake of their little bunny teefs!)

2. Men can be flight attendants and women can be pilots. And, you know, they don't have to be hot.

jobs, career, fairness

Pretty stewardess to flight attendant.

Images via Alan Taylor/Flickr, used with permission.

While the gender of each role remained the same in the newer version (which is, unfortunately, pretty legit, given the glaring lack of female pilots in real life), the stereotyping was eliminated by making the "handsome pilot" more of an everyday "pilot" (raccoon?) and by turning the "pretty stewardess" into a regular flight attendant.

3. Christmas isn't the only holiday people celebrate.

inclusive, menorah, bears

Adding the menorah.

Images via Alan Taylor/Flickr, used with permission.

Shhhh: Don't tell the Starbucks Christmas cup haters this, but there are a lot more winter holidays than just Christmas. The newer version of the book included a menorah in the blank space to recognize those who celebrate Hanukkah.

4. Mommy Bears are no longer expected to have breakfast prepared for Daddy Bears...

mommy bears, daddy bears, best word book ever

Dad bears being dad bears.

Images via Alan Taylor/Flickr, used with permission.

...and the subtle change from "called to breakfast" to "goes to the kitchen to eat his breakfast" reflects that.

(Side note: Do Daddy Bears realllllly want to be treated like Kid Bears by being called to a meal, where they must promptly appear? I'm thinking not.)

5. Because guess what?! Dads can cook, too! (Even Dad Bunnies.)

professionals, professions, 20th century

Dads can cook, too?

Images via Alan Taylor/Flickr, used with permission.

And Richard Scarry's book was updated to reflect the late-20th-century realization that everyone belongs in the kitchen!

6. Helping professions aren't just for men.

cowboys, grown ups, characters

No more cowboys.

Images via Alan Taylor/Flickr, used with permission.

The updated version recognized that fact by changing "policeman" to "police officer" and "fireman" to "fire fighter." The ever-important job of cowboy was eliminated ( sigh ... how many career hopes and dreams were squashed?), replaced with a gardener and a scientist, both of which are filled by female characters. Three cheers for women in STEM! Also: The milkman was replaced by a taxi driver, but I'm pretty sure that was had to do with the fact that milkman (or woman) isn't a growing occupation any longer.

7. Regular people need rescuing, too.

firemen, danger, hopes

Cat is in danger.

Images via Alan Taylor/Flickr, used with permission.

The newer version did away with the "beautiful screaming lady" (sigh... how many career hopes and dreams ... oh, wait — none) and replaced her with a regular "cat in danger." The "jumping gentleman" label was removed altogether, and the "fireman" became a "fire fighter" again.

8. "I" is for "ice cream" — and not stereotypical depictions of Native Americans.

dreams, updates, Florida State University

Adding the cone.

Images via Alan Taylor/Flickr, used with permission.

We're still waiting for our football teams to get with the times, but the folks behind the Richard Scarry book update eliminated the "Indian" character that was wearing stereotypical clothing.

Yay, progress! And before you shrug and say "It's just a book," listen to this:

Florida State University recently led "the most comprehensive study of 20th century children's books ever undertaken in the United States." As you can surely guess, they found a gender bias toward male lead characters, even in books about animals — books like those by Richard Scarry.

Janice McCabe, the assistant professor of sociology who led the study, wrote:

"The widespread pattern of underrepresentation of females that we find supports the belief that female characters are less important and interesting than male characters. This may contribute to a sense of unimportance among girls and privilege among boys. The gender inequalities we found may be particularly powerful because they are reinforced by patterns of male-dominated characters in many other aspects of children's media, including cartoons, G-rated films, video games and even coloring books."

It's kind of cool to think these changes were made at least two and a half decades ago! That's something.

And we need changes to keep happening! Kids should be able to read books with same-sex couples and characters who have disabilities, for example, because those are everyday occurrences and books are a great intro to the world for kids.

Anyone else up for modernizing other classic kids' books so we can feel good about sharing them with our kids?


This article was writen by Laura Willard and originally appeared on 11.11.15

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Family

Husband can't believe wife called him a 'jerk' for teaching daughter 'guy chores'

Is she right?

via Julien L./Unsplash

A wife is enraed that her husband taght their daughter to mow the lawn.

Everyone needs to know basic life skills no matter what gender we tend to associate with them. Sooner or later, one has to leave the nest, and mommy or daddy won’t be around to do your laundry or fix your flat tire.

Likewise, your spouse won’t always be around to make sure you have a home-cooked meal or help you turn off the water when there’s a leaky faucet. Knowing how to fix things or handle basic domestic tasks also makes economic sense. Most people can't afford to eat out every night, and plumbers are expensive.

A wonderful sense of freedom comes with being self-sufficient and not having to depend on anyone to get through the day.

A Reddit user named Key_Effective_2260 thought he was doing the right thing by teaching his stepdaughter how to mow the lawn, a chore typically associated with men, but was taken aback when his wife called him a “jerk” for doing so.

He took the question to the Reddit AITA subforum to determine if he was right, and the responses were all in his favor. Key_Effective_2260 is the father of four stepchildren, ages 8 to 15, and their biological father is out of the picture. So the kids now call him "dad."

"The two oldest are guys, and I taught both of them stereotypical guy chores, fixing cars, cutting grass… etc. I started both of them when they were about 10,” he wrote. “My daughter Annie just turned 11. When she did turn ten I did start teaching her her more hands-off stuff since she was small. She is bigger now and stronger so we had our first lesson on cutting the grass and how a lawnmower works. She did really well ( little worried she would lose control of the mower since she is still short but my fears were unfounded). She did the whole yard and I’m quite proud of her.”

The dad seemed to be a good parent by teaching his stepdaughter how to mow the lawn. It's a skill she’ll likely need if she ever owns a house, and it’s an excellent way for her to help her parents as she grows older.

“My wife had a fit though, she got in an argument about teaching her guy chores,” he said. “That she is too young ( the other two kids started before her age). I told her that she needs to stop babying her and that she needs to know how s**t works. She called me a jerk and left.”

The post received over 2,000 comments, and they unanimously supported the dad in the argument.

“Neither feminism nor misogyny will help you cook when you’re hungry, nor change a tire when you’re stranded. These are just general life skills everyone should know. I, too, wish my dad taught me 'guy chores,'" Hellhoundsatemybaby wrote.

“Chores are chores. There aren't guy or gal chores. Every skill is important in life," 000-Hontaru_Tomoe responded. “You are teaching her how to manage her own household. I don’t mow these days…but I absolutely can. And that matters,” PracticalPimrose added. “Just like boys need to be taught laundry and cooking because they need the skills. Full stop.”

In the end, equality is all about ensuring everyone has the same opportunity to care for themselves and those they love in this world without being held back by prejudice and arbitrary rules. It’s comforting to see that a large group of people agree that teaching young girls to do chores, usually associated with men, is a great way to help them become independent women.

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marriage
Science

17 photos of animals that prove there's nothing natural about traditional gender roles

These animals demonstrate the greatness of nature and its stubborn unwillingness to conform to human expectations for the way things "should be."

Image via Pixabay.

We have our eyes on you too.

Traditional gender roles are "natural," goes the common refrain.

Heterosexuality? That's natural too, apparently. Staying one gender your whole life? Definitely natural.

There's only one problem: Nature (and science) beg to disagree.

In reality, male and female animals set up their relationships thousands of different ways in the wild. In many species, males are the primary caretakers of the next generation while females ignore their offspring and mate promiscuously. Even the existence of "male" and "female" as distinct categories is often not so clear in certain species.

Some animals have the ability to change sex to respond to various outside pressures and conditions.

A few can even mate with themselves.

Here are 17 animals that demonstrate the greatness of nature and its stubborn unwillingness to conform to human expectations for the way things "should be."

1. Jacanas

birds, science, nature, incubation

"Mom went out for a pack of cigarettes and never came back."

​Photo by Ozan Kill

Ask any tropical bird out there, and they'll tell you that male jacanas are pretty much the best dads of the bunch. Not only do male jacanas stick around the nest to incubate the eggs and raise their offspring, they even carry them under-wing when they fly.

Meanwhile, female jacanas are ... not exactly super nurturing. After gathering up a harem of nearly half a dozen males and laying her eggs, the female jacana splits in order to fly around, murder the young of rival females, and mate with their former partners.

This is considered charming.

2. Clown fish

species, environment, reefs, fish

Clown fish were invented by Disney/Pixar in 2003.

Photo by Rachel Hisko on Unsplash

Like many species of reef fish, clown fish can, and frequently do, change sex. Unlike most species of reef fish however, all clown fish are born male and are led (in familial groups) by a dominant female.

When she dies, the next-biggest male simply ... becomes female and takes charge of the group.

What you just heard was the sound of a billion other species slapping themselves on the forehead at the same time, wondering why they didn't think of that, realizing it's now too late and that now they'd just be, like, hopping on the trend.

3. African buffalo

leadership, hierarchies, grazing, grasslands

Everyone is getting out there for an afternoon stroll.

Photo by Soerfm/Wikimedia Commons.

Not only are female buffalos are responsible for coordinating the movements of the entire herd — they do it democratically. When it's time to find a new grazing spot, each female takes a turn standing up and gazing in the direction they want to travel, and when they're done, the whole group moves that way.

While status hierarchies exist within herds, the elections are equitable — one cow, one vote.

Change You Can Moo-Lieve in. Make the Grasslands Great Again.

4. Bees

matriarchy, male drones, hive, honey

"Aaaaaaagh! Aaaaaagh! Aaaaaagh!" — Nicholas Cage.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Bees famously take the matriarchy to the extreme. A single queen bee oversees thousands of smaller female workers and male drones.

While most bees live, at most, a few weeks, the queen typically survives several years before the hive goes looking for a new queen to start the cycle over again. All to advance the species-wide goal of refusing to fly out of your car even though all four windows are down.

5. Komodo dragons

komodo dragon, eggs, offspring, evolution

Party out with your tongue out... alone even.

Photo by Mark Dumont/Wikimedia Commons.

Female komodo dragons can lay viable eggs that produce offspring without a male partner, which pretty much explains why komodo dragon Tinder never truly caught on.

6. Praying mantises

copulation, life cycle, insects, hunters

Not as romantic as it looks.

Photo by Oliver Koemmerling/Wikimedia Commons.

Mantis males are often smaller than mantis females, a discrepancy that leaves many males feeling insecure, as it enables females to frequently — though not always — eat their heads during sex.

7. Common reed frogs

amphibians, forrest, frogs, reproduction

So many choices for the day ahead.

Photo by ChriKo/Wikimedia Commons.

These tiny, resilient amphibians can change sex from female to male, allowing them to successfully reproduce if they suddenly find themselves surrounded by frogs of the same sex.

This ability makes them one of the most successful species on Earth at inspiring anxious Sam Neil monologues.

8. South American marmosets

monkeys, jungle, troops, community

"Hey, pa? You ... you wanna ... play catch?"

Photo by Maxim Bilovitskiy/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/en:Creative_Commons.

Female marmosets tend not to be terribly interested in their babies. A few weeks after giving birth, they're mostly out of their kids' lives forever.

Marmoset dads, on the other hand, are excellent caretakers, feeding, grooming, and transporting their young as well as coaching Marmoset Little League and always batting their kid cleanup.

9. Spotted hyenas

aggression, dominance, African plains, arid climates

Someone has to lead this party.

Photo via Pixabay.

Not only are female hyenas stronger and more aggressive than males, male and female hyena genitals are nearly identical in appearance. They're so similar that it's extremely difficult to tell the difference with the naked eye, which ultimately doomed the '70s game show "What Sex is That Hyena?" to cancellation after just half a season.

10. Seahorses

eggs, mating process, sea life, oceans

"OK, so. I need a really big favor."

Photo by Mikhail Preobrazhenskiy on Unsplash

While males of numerous species nurture their offspring, the male seahorse takes things several steps further. During the mating process, he receives eggs from the female and not only fertilizes them, but carries the offspring until they hatch.

A recent poll of male seahorses found that an overwhelming majority experience a secret surge of satisfaction when their partners get kidney stones.

11. Cuttlefish

coloration, species rivalries, genetics, fish

Blumph.

Photo by Michal B. on Unsplash

Unlike middle school boys across America, male cuttlefish don't have a lot of hang-ups about appearing feminine to their peers. Masters of camouflage, these future delicious fried antipasto will often alter their coloration in order to pass for female around rival males.

If an actual female is around, they'll leave the other half of their body as is, appearing half male and half female.

12. Topi antelopes

Africa, herd animals, promiscuity, food

Oh hey.

Photo by Whit Welles/Wikimedia Commons.

Female topi antelopes are not only sexually promiscuous, but when it's time to mate, they almost always make the first move. In some cases, female topis pester male antelopes for sex so relentlessly that the male has to physically fight them off. (Cue dozens of Facebook commenters yelling at male antelopes for complaining about something that's "obviously awesome" and insisting they're lucky and should "just be grateful for the attention.")

13. Laysan albatrosses

birds, mating, wildlife

"Al." "Al."

Photo by Patte David/U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service/Public Domain Images.

Some female albatrosses mate in female-female pairs, often for life.

(Side note: All male albatrosses are named Al Batross. Every single one of them. That's a proven fact).

14. Banana slugs

slugs, sex organs, horror

"When I think about you..."

Image via Pixabay.

A hermaphroditic species, banana slugs have both male and female sex organs and occasionally mate with themselves.

Though banana slugs do seem to prefer mating with other slugs, doing so typically ends with one slug chewing the other's penis off, because nature is a cavalcade of endless, random horror.

15. Orcas

whales, pods, matriarchal, peers

"You have to hit the home button twice, grandma."

Photo by Mike Doherty on Unsplash

Killer whales live in matriarchal pods, and female whales are more likely to take charge of the group than their male peers.

The oldest female whales are often the go-to source for information about where to find food, and in exchange for keeping the whole family alive, the younger whales patiently show them time and again how to use the iPad.

16. Emperor penguins

documentaries, Antartica, frozen tundra, trekking

"Where is that voice coming from?"

Photo via Pixabay.

Anyone who's seen "March of the Penguins" knows that male emperor penguins guard their eggs tightly, perilously balancing them on their feet while their female companions go off to do traditional woman stuff like trekking across the Antarctic tundra, diving for food in the freezing cold ocean, and pleading with Morgan Freeman to shut the hell up so they can focus on not being eaten by seals for like five goddamn seconds.

17. Bonobos

genetics, sex, apes, animal kingdom

"Mmmmmm. Yeah. Mmmmm. All right. Yeah." — Bonobos, all the time.

Photo by Sean Foster on Unsplash

The female-led bonobos have invented perhaps the most ingenious way of preventing intra-species violence in the entire animal kingdom. Basically, everyone just has sex with everyone else — males with females, females with females, males with males, in pretty much every kind of way imaginable.

The near-constant hetero-homo-orgiastic delight that results pretty much prevents anyone from being mad at anyone ever and unites the species around the common goal of being the best apes ever invented.

We share about 99% of our DNA with bonobos.

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