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Watch the tense moment Lucille Ball tells a host to take his hands off female audience members

It was common for male hosts to kiss, hug, and touch women in the 70s. It was not common for a woman to publicly challenge them.

CBS Television (Public Domain)
Lucille Ball was a powerhouse both on screen and off.

According to her daughter, Lucille Ball never considered herself a feminist, but there's no question she blazed many a trail for women. A working mother in real life, she depicted issues facing housewives with her brilliant television comedy and became the first female studio head in Hollywood. She broke glass ceilings but wasn't particularly outspoken about women's rights. In fact, in a 1980 interview with "People," she said, “They can use my name for equal rights, but I don’t get out there and raise hell because I’ve been so liberated, I have nothing to squawk about.”

Ball empowered women by example—and by speaking her mind. Carol Burnett shared a story on PBS about how Ball was unhappy with a script for her new show, but women at that time didn't raise concerns about such things. Men could express criticism and demand changes, but women simply didn't. Ball did—and firmly—despite being non-confrontational by nature. Later she told Burnett, "Kid, that's when they put the 's' at the end of my name."

A video has been circulating on social media showing Ball's no-nonsense way of speaking up when she felt the need to, and people are gushing over it.


Lucille Ball, 70s, 80s, 60s, I Love Lucy, television, actress, hollywood, sexism, misogyny Lucille Ball was a massive star, but perhaps best known for the show 'I Love Lucy'By CBS Television - Public Domain

In 1978, Ball participated in a Q & A session with UCLA theater arts students on the television program "America Alive!" The viral clip shows Ball repeatedly telling one of the hosts, David Sheehan, to take his hands off of female audience members when they were asking a question.

"Will you take your hands off, David?" she says as he introduces one young woman. "Take your hands off of her," she says again as he places his hand on the shoulder of another. "David, would you take your hands away?" she says as he places his hands on another woman in a sparkly gold dress.

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We love Lucy ❤️

People laughed every time, but Ball didn't so much as crack a smile during her clear, simple, repeated "hands off" admonitions.

For 1978 especially, her advocacy for the women in the audience was extraordinary. Sheehan wasn't touching these women in a lewd or sexual manner, but he was touching them in a way that he wouldn't have touched a man who was asking a question. Most people wouldn't have thought much of it at the time, but Lucille Ball immediately noted it and didn't let it stand.

"I love that she didn't even laugh when the room was," shared one commenter. "She was not joking."

"'Take your hands off her, David,' should be a sound AND a t-shirt," wrote another.

"He kept trying. She kept telling him. Love her," shared another.

"Lucille Ball always reminds me of my grandma," offered another. "She hated to be seen as delicate, and she hated men that would touch her even more. She would say, stone-faced, 'Get your paws off.'"

Here are a few more of the best comments:

"the audience laughed and she said 'ain't nothing funny.' love her"

"This happened to me so much growing up and I noticed from very young the boys weren't treated this way."

"Even then she knew how the industry was I LOVE IT AND LOOOOVE LUCY SO MUCH"

A commenter on Reddit noted that Ball started her career as a chorus girl and dancer. "She knows every creepy man trick in the book"

Television and game shows from the 70s and 80s are an incredible time capsule of the culture and norms of the era. Sheehan wasn't the only one who tended to get a little handsy.

It was common for male hosts to kiss female contestants. Richard Dawson, host of The Family Feud, was famous for it. Even our beloved Bob Barker of The Price Is Right often had women suggestively reach into his jacket to fish out their $100 bill.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

There's a casual lecherous-ness that famous men seemed to get away with easily at the time. For anyone to publicly challenge them on their behavior was absolutely shocking.

Even if Sheehan was casually touching those women out of habit and not ill intent, it's laudable that Ball made a point of making him aware of it. Unfortunately, women are still having to deal with men touching them without being invited to, but seeing Lucille Ball's serious face while calling it out is a good reminder that women have been fighting this battle for a long time. Good for her for using her microphone and the respect afforded her to speak up for the young women in her audience.

This article originally appeared last year.

An angry man in front of the American flag.

America has never been a perfect place, but since the Civil War, it has been one where most people bought into the idea of the country and supported the institutions that keep it running. People may disagree on politics and culture, but when America was threatened, whether it was 9/11 or World War II, people came together to fight for the country they love, even though the reasons may have differed.

However, it’d be naive to say that sentiment is still as strong as it once was. Since The Great Recession, many people have felt that the vibes are off in America, and polls and research back those feelings. Right around 2012, when smartphones became ubiquitous, there was a considerable rise in the number of people who felt that America was on the wrong track and that racism and sexism were considerably worse than they were just a year before. There was also a big spike in mental illness.

So what happened in 2012? Did the world suddenly become drastically worse overnight, or had our perceptions been changed?

woman, dispair, smartphone, bad news, woman in kitchen, upset woman A woman is upset looking at her smartphone.via Canva/Photos

Why does it feel like America is on the decline?

Other developed countries have experienced similar vibe shifts since 2012, but it has hit America the hardest. Economics blogger Noah Smith explains why this feeling of malaise has hit America so hard, and he illustrates it perfectly in a viral Substack piece called “Social media destroyed one of America's key advantages.” Smith is an American blogger and commentator on economics and current events and former assistant professor of behavioral finance at Stony Brook University.

In his Substack post, Smith postulates that the technological change hit America the hardest because it punctured our geographical buffers. “A hippie in Oakland and a redneck in the suburbs of Houston both fundamentally felt that they were part of the same unified nation; that nation looked very different to people in each place,” Smith writes. “Californians thought America was California, and Texans thought America was Texas, and this generally allowed America to function.”

Why did America fundamentally change in 2012?

Here’s an excerpt from Smith’s piece. Please check out the entire piece on the Noahpinion Substack.

Like some kind of forcible hive mind out of science fiction, social media suddenly threw every American in one small room with every other American. Decades of hard work spent running away from each other and creating our ideologically fragmented patchwork of geographies went up in smoke overnight, as geography suddenly ceased to mediate the everyday discussion of politics and culture.

The sudden collapse of geographic sorting in political discussion threw all Americans in the same room with each other — and like the characters in Sartre’s No Exit, they discovered that “Hell is other people.” Conservatives suddenly discovered that a lot of Americans despise Christianity or resent White people over the legacy of discrimination. Liberals suddenly remembered that a lot of their countrymen frown on their lifestyles. Every progressive college kid got to see every piece of right-wing fake news that their grandparents were sharing on Facebook (whereas before, these would have been quietly confined to chain emails). Every conservative in a small town got to see Twitter activists denouncing White people. And so on.


protests, american protest, protest sign, demonstration, mass gathering A group of people protesting in the street.via Ted Eytan/Flickr

It may sound cynical to believe that America was a better place when people were less likely to talk to people with a different worldview. But, given how things have gone in the past 15 years, it’s fair to say that putting every American in a proverbial ring to fight it out just makes everyone feel under attack... and the fight never ends.

The problem with the Like button

Another development around the same time that many believe negatively affected the country was the development of the Like button on Facebook. The button made its debut in 2009, and it, along with the share button, which came in 2010, incentivized people to create content that their audience agreed with, creating echo chambers. The buttons also incentivized people to make outrage-provoking posts and create fake stories to go viral and increase advertising revenue.

maga, trump supporters, trump flags, trump rally, american flags Trump supporters at a rally.via Elvert Barnes/Flickr

The positive takeaway from Smith’s geographical sorting theory is that, quite possibly, many people’s perceptions about life in Amerca are wrong because we’re seeing it through the distorted, funhouse mirror of social media that shows us every bad deed in a country of 330 million people and amplifies the voices of the unscroupulous. By pinpointing the moment that America “went to hell,” as author Jonathan Haidt says, we also have a roadmap to get back to when people had greater faith in America’s institutions and people.

This article originally appeared in June.

Modern Families

Married couple sticks it to nosy friends and relatives with viral 'announcement' prank

They got so tired of the baby question, they decided a formal announcement was in order.

Photo via Carrie Jensen/Imgur, used with permission.
One couple's perfect response to people asking when they're going to have kids.

Every couple has gotten the question at some point, especially from pesky parents and in-laws. It's a rite of passage when your relationship starts to become serious, and it only ramps up faster and faster after you get married: "When are you guys going to start having kids?"

Like many couples, Carrie Jansen and her husband Nic had heard this question a million different ways, a million different times.

The pressure really started to mount after the pair got married. While Carrie loves kids (she's an elementary school teacher, after all), she and Nic simply aren't interested in having kids of their own. Now or ever.

"It's not what I was meant for," explains Carrie in a Facebook message. "It's like, I love flowers, and everyone loves flowers. But that doesn't mean I want to grow my own. I'm perfectly happy admiring other people's gardens."

Carrie wanted to tell her family that they don't plan on having kids but knew if she did, they'd say something like, "Oh you'll change your mind one day!" and that pesky question would keep rearing its ugly head. So she decided to get creative.

Ah, yes, people who have chosen not to have kids absolutely love having their thoughtful decision immediately dismissed as silliness! Worse, there's the camp that insists they'll regret it one day, and begs the couple to reconsider.

Still, it's not an easy conversation to have with loved ones and relatives.

"We don't want kids, but if it’s Grandma asking, I won’t tell her straight up...because we don’t want to give her a heart attack," Carrie told Buzzfeed. "So usually, I’ll give her the general ‘We’ll see!’ or ‘Not this year!’”

pregnancy, moms, motherhood, family, couples, childfree, culture, love, relationships, marriage, pets Dressed to the nines on their wedding day. Photo via Carrie Jansen, used with permission.

Rather than continue to deflect the question over and over, Carrie decided that a clear and formal announcement made sense. But how to make the announcement was another matter. How could she and Nic strike the right tone? Serious, but not morose. Firm, but playful. Final, but optimistic.

But that's not to say that the couple wasn't planning on making any big changes. In fact, they were adding another mouth to feed to the family, and they decided to announce it with a series of maternity-style photos, revealing the twist:

The new addition was a puppy named Leelu, not a baby.

"My husband and I have been married 3 years and everyone is bugging us about having a baby. Close enough right?" she captioned the photos shared to Facebook and Imgur.

pregnancy, moms, motherhood, family, couples, childfree, culture, love, relationships, marriage, pets Look at my newborn baby... puppy. Photo via Carrie Jensen/Imgur, used with permission.

Her pictures went massively viral, with many of the commenters giving her props for hilariously addressing the dreaded "kids " question.

"If you don't want kids, don't have kids. Seriously. Have fun with each other. I had three kids early and it's all about them now," wrote one commenter.

"I wish people would just mind their business raising a kid ain't easy and cheap," wrote another.

"I got my husband a vasectomy for his birthday this year. Best gift ever," chimed in a third.

Carrie was overwhelmed and inspired by the viral response. "Having children is definitely a hot topic, and one that is evolving in this generation like so many other social issues," she says. "It's exciting to find others that feel the same way I do.”


pregnancy, moms, motherhood, family, couples, childfree, culture, love, relationships, marriage, pets The happy, child-free couple at the beach.Photo via Carrie Jensen/Imgur, used with permission.

Carrie is hardly alone in not wanting to have kids — in fact, a record number of women are choosing not to have kids today.

Pew Research recently concluded that 47% of adults 18-49 say they're "unlikely" to ever have children, a number that has grown steadily over the years. Statistica backs this claim up, finding that 46.9% of women aged 15-50 in the United States are childless. Despite the numbers, however, because we still live in a patriarchally-driven society, women regularly face the expectation that they should be mothers, and they often are judged if they decide not to be.

When you think about it, it's pretty baffling! Child-free people are not some fringe minority. They make up about half of all adults. It should be viewed as a completely normal choice that requires no explanation or, yes, even funny gimmick announcements.

Whether you want to have one kid, five kids, no kids, or a puppy, the choice should be yours and no one else's.

There are a lot of reasons couples might choose not to have children. It could come down to the cost, the stress, the loss of freedom — or simply because they don't want to.

What's especially great about Nic and Carrie's viral post is that it went on to inspire other couples to do the same: Make cheeky announcements about puppies, their decision to go child-free, or even their vasectomies!

No one else has the right to put pressure on you to change your body and life in a drastic way. Thankfully, because of women like Carrie — and partners like Nic — who aren't afraid to bring the subject out in the open, the expectations are slowly but surely changing.

This article originally appeared nine years ago.