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Xennial parents share how they're healing generational parenting wounds with their own kids

"I tell my son 'I love you' more times in a day than my father said that to me my entire life."

xennial, xennials, xennial parents, parenting, parenting advice
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Xennial parents discuss how they parent differently than their Boomer and Gen X parents.

Xennials are those born from 1977 to 1983, and sandwiched between Gen X and Millennials. Xennials grew up with Boomer or older Gen X parents who they claim may have led with harshness (and some toxic parenting traits) that they are trying to correct.

In a Reddit Xennial forum, member @Montawked shared: "My 8 [year-old] didn't brush her teeth last night, so there was no dessert tonight. I warned her yesterday, natural consequences and all, but she made her choice. Tonight she is bawling about it," she wrote.

She continued to share, "I said, 'I know you're upset, but is this something to cry about?' My inner voice said, 'I'll give you something to cry about' WHOA. HOLD UP. Subconscious messaging from my boomer parents popping in! I would NEVER say this to my kids. Wtf were they thinking? Shared with my hubby, and he said his folks said that and 'I brought you into this world....' Cheers to us breaking the cycle."

The poignant moment touched other Xennial parents who resonated with her on how they are healing generational parenting wounds in their own families, and inspired conversation between them about their experiences. These are 15 of the most compelling responses from Xennial parents.

 kids, hug, hugging, hugging kids, parents hug kids Happy Sound Of Music GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein Organization  Giphy  

"My kids recently saw spanking of children in a movie and were really confused, I had to explain it and they thought it was a wild concept." —@miuzzo

"I tell my son 'I love you' more times in a day than my father said that to me my entire life." —@andy_nony_mouse

"My kids KNOW they’re safe with me, they know I’ll always have their back. I can’t recall ever having that feeling of safety as a child." —@HeslopDC

 emotional, i love you, tearing up, crying, feelings Season 1 Nod GIF by SHOWTIME  Giphy  

"My mom said both. When my dad used the 'I brought you into this world line', you would think he drop kicked a puppy. Suddenly she was quizzing him on our birthdays and how long every delivery took and trying to get him to even be able to say what hospital we were born in. My dad was at all of our births. He drove. He was there the whole time. He’s him, and he couldn’t even remember what planet it was on, let alone what hospital. After he ran away because he couldn’t answer even what order we were born in, she looked at us and said 'never let anyone take your story from you. It’s yours. You’re mine. You’re my story. You’re part of his story, you ARE my Story.' And that was it. Every time someone says their father said it, I remember that moment. I can’t imagine any other father having the audacity to say they brought anyone into the world — they didn’t. The woman did." —@TangledUpPuppeteer

"My dad never said that but he did say 'your mother should have eaten you while your bones were still soft.' Which I always found hilarious." —@geriatric_tatertot

"I definitely got the 'something to cry about' bit from my dad, which usually did include the ass whooping it implied. My mom would occasionally go for wordplay, like if I was asking for a pop she might raise a fist and say 'give you a pop alright!' but with her it was always just a joke." —@Fackrid

 cry, something to cry about, parent, parenting, tough parenting Spanish Latina GIF by BuzzFeed  Giphy  

"I think 'something to cry about' was my dad too, and mom would say 'wait til your dad gets home' although she also spanked us if she had a paddle for it. She used her hand sometimes too but “couldn’t do it hard enough” then." —@PrismInTheDark

"My mom said both to me along with telling me that's what she had me for when I complained about having to empty her ashtray. It's amazing she doesn't understand why we aren't close." —@SuspiciousCranberry6

"I was going to knocked into next week. We actually played a game where my older sister knocked me into next week and I would pretend to be all confused." —@idontknowhowaboutyou

 mad mom, angry mom, mad parent, angry parent, parenting phrase Dont Make Me Come Over There In Trouble GIF  Giphy  

"My mom used to say 'you’re cruisin for a bruisin'." —@Holmes221bBSt

"My kid is being raised very very differently than how I was." —@sidvictorious

"Having kids, that whole line 'this is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you.' Oh that is so not true, that’s not how anger works. I get wound up too. Time out is as much for them as it is for me." —@gnrlgumby

 because i said so, that's why, mad parent, angry parent, frustrated parent kaitlin olson mickey GIF by The Mick  Giphy  

"Don’t forget 'because I said so!' I’m staying away from that one and actually explaining the 'why.' Works so much better." —@esmerelda_b

"My brain still recites the stuff I heard as a child but I would never say it to my own kids. I’m revolted at even hearing my inner voice say it. I heard that the first thought you have is based on your conditioning and the follow up thought is who you really are. This resonates with me. The conditioning is hard core." —@HeslopDC

"I struggle with this too. My youngest also has some emotional reactions that my wife and I find to be extreme relative to their stimulus. Crying over Fortnite. Crying over being asked some questions. Crying over every little thing. It is exhausting as a parent. I try to to carefully say, 'it's okay to cry, but is this really something that we need to be this upset about'? I hope I am finding the right balance compared the belt-to-ass up ringing I got." —@Rockdad37

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In 1973, the Bee Gees sang an unplugged medley tribute to the Beatles. It's gorgeous.

The '70s legends were inspired by the greatest band of the '60s.

via Midnight Special/YouTube

The Bee gees playing a medley of Beatles hits in 1973.

By 1973, the Bee Gees’ career had hit a low. After a series of hits in the late 1960s and early 1970s, including "To Love Somebody," "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart," and "I Started a Joke," the band was in a rut. Their latest album, Life in a Tin Can, and single “Saw a New Morning" sold poorly, and the band’s popularity declined.

On April 6, 1973, the Gibb brothers (Barry, Robin, and Maurice) appeared on The Midnight Special, a late-night TV show that aired on Saturday mornings at 1 a.m. after The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Given the lukewarm reception to their recent releases, the Bee Gees decided to change things up and play a medley of hits from their idols, The Beatles, who had broken up three years before.

 the beatles, bee gees, 1960s The Beatles were the biggest band on Earth in their heyday.  Giphy  

The performance, which featured five of the Fab Four’s early hits, including “If I Fell,” “I Need You,” “I'll Be Back,” “This Boy,” and “She Loves You,” was a stripped-down, acoustic performance that highlighted the Bee Gees' trademark harmonies.

“When you got brothers singing, it’s like an instrument that no one else can buy. You can’t go buy that sound in a shop. You can’t sing like The Bee Gees because when you got family members singing together, it’s unique,” Noel Gallagher, who sang with his brother Liam in Oasis, said according to Far Out.

  - YouTube  youtu.be  

 

A year later, the Bee Gees performed in small clubs, and it looked like their career had hit a dead end. Then, at the urging of their management, the band began to move in a new direction, incorporating soul, rhythm and blues, and a new, underground musical style called disco into their repertoire. Barry also adopted a falsetto singing style popularized by Black singers such as Curtis Mayfield and Marvin Gaye.

This unlikely change for the folksy vocal group catapulted them into the stratosphere and they became the white-satin-clad kings of disco.

  john travolta disco GIF by uDiscoverMusic  Giphy  

In the late ‘70s, the band had massive hits, including songs featured on the 40-million-selling Saturday Night Fever soundtrack: “Stayin’ Alive,” How Deep is Your Love,” More Than a Woman,” Jive Talkin’,” and “Night Fever.”

In 1978, the band made a significant misstep, starring in a musical based on The Beatles' music called Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, produced by Robert Stigwood, the man behind Saturday Night Fever and Grease. The film was a colossal bomb, although the soundtrack sold well.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

The Beatles' George Harrison thought the Bee Gees film was about what happens when you become successful and greedy.

"I just feel sorry for Robert Stigwood, the Bee Gees, and Pete Frampton for doing it because they had established themselves in their own right as decent artists,” Harrison said. "And suddenly… it's like the classic thing of greed. The more you make the more you want to make, until you become so greedy that ultimately you put a foot wrong."

Even though the Bee Gees’ Beatle-themed musical was a flop, former Beatle John Lennon remained a fan of the group. He sang their praises after the public’s growing distaste of disco resulted in a significant backlash.

 john lennon, the beatles John Lennon was a fan of the Bee Gees.  Giphy  

"Try to tell the kids in the seventies who were screaming to the Bee Gees that their music was just the Beatles redone,” he told Playboy magazine in 1980. “There is nothing wrong with the Bee Gees. They do a damn good job. There was nothing else going on then."

The Bee Gees historic career ended when Maurice passed away in 2003 at 53. Robin would follow in 2009 at 62. Barry is the final surviving member of the band.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Woman is called into HR over her 'exclusive' wedding invitation, leaving everyone flabbergasted

Are you required to invite everyone in the office to your wedding?

Photo credit: Canva

Woman called into HR over 'exclusive' wedding invitation

Weddings are stressful to plan no matter the couple's budget. Hiring a wedding planner may relieve some of the stress but not all because deciding on the guest list and all the final details sill falls on the betrothed couple. When it comes down to final numbers, some brides have to make tough decisions on who to cut to the big event, which can sometimes mean even some family members don't always make the list.

Imagine one bride's surprise when a coworker asked about an invitation to her big day fully expecting to occupy a seat at the wedding. At first the bride took the request as a joke until the unthinkable happened shortly thereafter. The strange situation started innocently enough with a coworker overhearing that the woman was getting married soon. Since the two women were not friends, just cordial coworkers, the bride-to-be didn't think her coworker would expect an invitation.

 HR; human resources; office etiquette; wedding etiquette; wedding invitations; weddings; HR over wedding invite Elegant wedding invitation with rings and dried flowers.Photo credit: Canva

Unfortunately, she was wrong. Very wrong. In a post shared online, the bride says, "This was honestly one of the weirdest work things I’ve ever dealt with. There’s a woman in my office I’m friendly with, but not close to. We’ve had small talk here and there, nothing deep. No lunches together. No real outside-of-work connection. She found out I was getting married and asked when the wedding was. Then she straight up asked if she was invited."

Admittedly, she laughed off the bizarre request while informing the coworker that the wedding will be a small event for friends and family. When the coworker learned she was not invited to watch a virtual stranger's nuptials, the new bride says the woman became cold and quiet. Though the bride found the conversation to be weird, she didn't think much of it, but just a few days later she received a notification from Human Resources.

 HR; human resources; office etiquette; wedding etiquette; wedding invitations; weddings; HR over wedding invite Colleagues engaged in a focused discussion at the office.Photo credit: Canva

It seems the disgruntled coworker reported the soon-to-be bride to their company's HR department. The confused bride writes, "Turns out she filed a complaint saying I was being 'exclusive' and 'creating a hostile environment by leaving people out.' Because I didn’t invite her. To my wedding. That I’m paying for. That isn’t even work-related. So I had to sit in this HR meeting and explain that I’m not required to invite coworkers I barely know to my literal wedding. That it’s a personal event. That it has nothing to do with work or who’s in the office."

Thankfully, it sounds like HR was on the bride-to-be's side and, after a confused glance, they closed the case. But this recounting left many people flabbergasted on what exactly the coworker was expecting and why. It gained over a thousand comments from people confused about how the situation escalated to the level of Human Resource involvement for a non-company event.

 HR; human resources; office etiquette; wedding etiquette; wedding invitations; weddings; HR over wedding invite Professional discussion during an interview.Photo credit: Canva

One person writes, "That is one of the strangest things I’ve read. Your coworker is odd. Who thinks like that? What’s next? Does she expect you to have her along on the honeymoon?"

Another adds, "I would bring up her behavior to human resources. Someone needs to explain to her that her behavior is unprofessional and inappropriate."

"That is batsh*t crazy! Did she really think HR could force you? Were you supposed to invite the entire company for that matter and if so will your job be paying for the wedding?? WTF! The entitlement is beyond anything I’ve ever heard of!" someone else chimes in.

 HR; human resources; office etiquette; wedding etiquette; wedding invitations; weddings; HR over wedding invite Celebrating love with champagne and joy! 🥂🎉✨Photo credit: Canva

As if it wasn't strange enough to have to explain to HR why you didn't invite a coworker to your wedding, the woman has also been dealing with her coworker's catty comments, "But now she acts super passive-aggressive toward me. Like side-eyes, little digs when I walk by. Still bringing it up in these weird sarcastic comments like, 'Some people are so inclusive these days.'"

It would seem that the coworker took being excluded from the wedding as permission to make the other woman uncomfortable. Several people expressed their concern for the woman's safety as well as encouraged her to report the coworker's new behavior to HR.

 HR; human resources; office etiquette; wedding etiquette; wedding invitations; weddings; HR over wedding invite Overwhelmed at work, taking a moment to regroup.Photo credit: Canva

A concerned commenter shares, "It's gone beyond the point where you can 'ignore it' - make sure you have details of everything she's done since then to create a hostile work environment."

"File a counter claim to HR about her creating a hostile work environment and the passive aggressive comments. That is a workplace issue unlike your wedding," someone declares.

For now, there's no update on if the original poster reported her coworker to HR for her strange behavior, but she's got the support of social media whatever happens (or doesn't happen) next.

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Man passionately explains the meaning of staircases in movies and now people can't unsee it

Once you hear this explanation, you start seeing it everywhere.

AlbaProductions/YouTube

The staircase scene in "The Princess Diaries 2" is a good example of how stairs are used in film.

Moviemaking magic is part art and part science, and most of us don't fully know how the cinematic sausage gets made. Many people enjoy watching "behind the scenes" and "making of" videos to get a glimpse of what we don't see on camera, but even those don't give us all the ins and outs of how filmmakers create a great movie experience.

Perhaps that's why a video from a woman showing her screenwriter husband geeking out over a very specific element of filmmaking has gone viral. Or, maybe it's because we all love to see people passionately explain something they know about. Either way, his explanation of how staircases are purposefully used to drive the plot and reveal information about characters in movies has people engrossed.

 katharine hepburn, entrance, staircase, scene, film Staircases are used strategically in films.  Giphy  

In the video, the couple is watching The Princess Diaries 2 when the husband pauses the movie and asks his wife, "Have I told you about staircases in film and what they represent in film?" She giggles—clearly this is not an unusual occurrence—and says, "No." He puts down the remote (apparently so he can use both of his hands to talk) and starts in on the lesson.

"A staircase, almost every time in film, is used to visually represent a power dynamic," he says. "A person who is in charge of a situation will be higher up on the steps than a person who is not in charge of the situation."

@leniethamer

Today’s lesson: staircases 😂 maybe one day we will finish the movie lol but I do love the fun facts. #movie #movienerd #geek #princessdiaries #screenwriter #moviereview #disney #disneyplus #annehathaway #chrispine #couplegoals #behindthescenes

He explains that the people higher on the staircase are in command of the scene—they're the ones giving the demands and the orders—and the people lower on the staircase are listening and responding.

"Every single time, without fail, if there is a staircase in a film and someone is walking up it, talking to someone below, they are giving them a command or they are taking control of the scene," he says.

Then he picks the remote up again and proceeds to walk his wife through the scene where Anne Hathaway's character and Chris Pine's character are talking back and forth up a double staircase. As they move up and down the steps, the dynamic of their conversation changes. She starts higher up on the stairs than him, then he moves up to challenge her. She moves over to the other staircase, and for a while they talk at the same level from their respective staircase. You can see the characters fighting for control, visually on equal footing up the stairs, so the audience remains in suspense as to who will come out on top.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

It was a simple scene analysis, but the video got over 2.5 million views and people loved it:

"People like your husband are the best people to hang out with. I love a sudden, passionate rant about things I've never considered."

"I can’t believe the internet is free. I just got a film education."

"This is why English and media literacy should be classes offered regularly in school and should not be laughed at when people take those classes."

"I loved EVERY second of this."

Many commenters started pointing out examples of this principle in popular films as well. Once you know it, you start seeing it everywhere.

 mean girls, regina george, staircase, power, dynamics Regina George watching the chaos from the top of the stairs in "Mean Girls"  Giphy  

"Me thinking about Regina George on top of the stairs watching the chaos."

"The daughters from Devil Wears Prada when Andy is delivering the book!"

"Crazy Rich Asians has a cool stair case scene when she visits the house for the first time!"

"Just like the Umbridge and McGonagall scene on the hogwarts stairs when they’re arguing. 🥲"

"Everyone else: McGonagall vs Umbridge Me: "PIVOT!!!! PIVOT!!!!""

 friends, moving, pivot, ross gellar, scenes, film and television The famous "PIVOT!" scene from "Friends"  Giphy  

"HARRY POTTER LIVING IN THE ROOM BELOW THE STEPS AND NEVER HAVING A SAY IN THE HOUSE 😩 OMG WAIT"

Experts sharing their niche knowledge, especially when it comes to things we all enjoy, is one of the greatest things to come from social media. Clearly this is the kind of content people want. Thankfully, we have people like this screenwriter husband to give it to us.

You can follow @leniethamer on TikTok for more of her husband's movie analysis moments.

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Millennials are voting on which name represents their generation's 'Karen'

One name group is "fighting for their lives" to not be selected.

@erindiehart/TikTok

Did you name make the list?

Mention the name Karen, and you’re likely to get an immediate image of an aggravatingly entitled, middle-aged, and possibly (definitely) racist woman, who may or may not be donning a spiky short hairdo while asking to speak to the manager.

Well, now there’s a hilariously heated online debate about which Millennial name is the equivalent to that. Let’s see who’s been placed on the chopping block…

This game seemingly started with Erin Dieheart (@erindiehart), who declared that rather than have some boomer or Gen Zers choose the victim, Millennials should decide themselves who the “A-holes” of their generation are.

“I feel like WE should have a say so in this,” Diehart quipped.

 
 @erindieheart #millennialsoftiktok #karen #fyp #foryou ♬ original sound - Erin Dieheart 
 
 

So what names were voted in? See below, and apologies in advance to 80s babies.

Ashley

Brittany

Heather

Amber

Tiffany

Jessica

Nicole

Becky

Kelsey

Honorable mentions:

Michelle

Lauren

Oy boy, did people have OPINIONS on this subject.

“IT’S ASHLEY. I DON’T EVEN HAVE TO WATCH THE REST.”

(As a millennial who was also an avid watcher of Recess, I’m inclined to agree with this comment. Not that anyone asked.)

 
 @disneytva Sorry, Spinelli, them's the rules 😔 . . . 🎥: Recess
 ♬ original sound - disneytva 
 
 


“Beyoncé told us already. It’s Becky.”

“Brittany , Amber, Stephanie. The unholy trinity.”

“I pretty much agree with most except Heather. I’ve never met an evil Heather. They were introverted and docile.”

“You just named an entire cheer squad.”

Then, when it pretty much came down to two names—Jessica and Ashley—the former name began, as Diehart put it in a follow-up video, “fighting for their lives.”

 
 @erindieheart Replying to @It’s me! Jessica! ♬ Mysterious and sad BGM(1120058) - S and N 
 
 

“PLEASE, I’m a good person!” one Jessica begged in the comments section.

“Please guys. The severe ADHD and anxiety in me can’t handle this,” pleaded another. “Leave us Jessicas alone. We already have to deal with ppl calling us Jessie and we hate it. Please we have too much trauma to be a Karen.

Ashleys, it seemed, weren’t so confident in defending themselves.

“As an Ashley I REBUKE this but my mom is named Karen so maybe it’s a sign,” one wrote.

Another admitted, “As an Ashley, I too have been victimized by an Ashley.”

While this is clearly all in good fun, it’s worth noting that the Karen stereotype has negatively affected the lives of countless actual Karens, many of whom have considered changing their own name as to avoid further damage. Statistically speaking, it isn't even women named Karen who end up being the major complainers of their age group. So now they face a punishment they don't necessarily deserve. Maybe we don’t want to continue this trend.

Or maybe I’m saying that out of self preservation, since my own name is among the finalists. Who knows?!

Since Diehart hasn't officially announced or finished collecting votes, you might want to give her a follow to find out what her final verdict will be. And, please, be nice to the Ashleys in your life when that happens.

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Financially successful people who grew up poor share the 'cheap' money habits they still use

"Still comparing prices on everything even if I can afford both."

Image via Canva

People who grew up poor but found financial success share their "cheap" money habits.

People who grew up poor belong to a unique club. They can fully understand each other's childhood experiences regarding money and financial hardships. Even when money is flowing and available in the present day, past financial experiences can still impact their current money habits.

In a Reddit subforum of people discussing their experiences growing up poor, member Civil-Awareness posed the question: "People who grew up poor but now have money what cheap habit do you still can't shake?"

Many people who grew up poor opened up about how their childhoods continue to impact their spending habits. These are 22 of their relatable responses.

 thrifty, thrift, saving money, frugal, money habits Leah Remini Budget GIF by TV Land  Giphy  

"Still comparing prices on everything even if I can afford both." —CheekyClair

"I always feel a twinge of guilt buying something that wasn't on the list, especially if it's not something we necessarily need or a name brand." —pippintook24

"I still wear clothes until they're literally falling apart instead of buying new ones when I should." —jcf1211

"I still turn off every light the second I leave a room, can’t help it, it’s wired into me." —michaelmorgan297

 turn off lights, lights, save energy, light switch, electricity Turn On GIF by Alexis Tapia  Giphy  

"Using plastic grocery bags as trash can liners." —chichiski

"Buying reduced price short date food." —Unique-Demand-9954

"We still eat Kraft dinners, we just eat more. Oh and have fancy Dijon ketchup with them." —ouzo84•6h ago

 kraft, kraft dinner, mac and cheese, kraft gif, mac and cheese gif Loop Falling GIF by JOSH HILL  Giphy  

"I still have to justify my purchases. My wife absolutely hates it, but if I can’t truly justify a ‘want’ purchase, I don’t do it. IE, we are at the mall and I see a shirt I really like, I will debate on it, stew on it, thinking I already have X # of shirts, do I really need this? What makes it better than my other shirts? Is the quality better? Does its color go better with my other pants? Does it fit better? Often the answer is no but I’ve spent 20 minutes pacing in the mall window shopping with my wife debating on a $30 shirt that I don’t buy. As an example." —AmericanMeltdown

"I still eat 'poor meals' and enjoy them." —j0nny5iv3

 old car, bad car, crap car, car, car gif Old Car GIF by ABC Network  Giphy  

"Keep a sh*t car." —Own-Load-7041

"I won't leave food on my plate. This really doesn't help with weight control but when you grow up knowing if you don't eat it, that's money wasted, it's a really hard habit to break." —HNot

"I use stuff until it breaks. I have more than enough money to buy a new TV but I'm still using my dads old tv from 20 Years ago. It has HD, 40'' and is a flat screen. No reason to change it even tho I often want a better one." —Gnomax

"Hoarding condiment packets from restaurants like they're precious treasure. Old habits die hard..." —TheLordMyDog

 condiments, condiment, condiment packet, condiment packets, packet condiment Too Much Cooking GIF by CBC  Giphy  

"Adding water to my shampoo, conditioner, soap, etc. to get the last little bit out." —NolinNa

"Eating leftovers for days." —truefan31

"Buying generic everything at the grocery store even though I can afford name brands now." —high_kew

"Keeping everything bc what if I need it." —Constantdehydration

 keeping things, stuff, keep stuff, maire kondo, clutter Max Greenfield Comedy GIF by CBS  Giphy  

"Looking at price tags before items. I’m trying to look at items first, but sometimes I can’t help it." —TropicalTrainwreck

"I thrift almost all of my clothing. It feels dumb to blow $$ on brands." —sweetnothings94

 thrifting, thrift, thrift shop, thrifting clothes, thrift gif National Thrift Shop Day GIF  Giphy  

"When the deodorant runs out, but you can still pop the plastic thing out and get the bits leftover and rub them into your pits." —midijunky

"When staying at a hotel that offers a breakfast buffet, I'll eat as much as I can, then assemble a lunch before I leave." —azninvasion2000

"Working two jobs. I have no real need to work either job, but psychologically, I can't kick the fear of not bringing in a stable income." —Ok-Telephone-605

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