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People are sharing which great American hero they'd add to Mount Rushmore

What legendary non-president deserves to be the 5th face?

mount rushmore, greatest american, reddit, presidents, heroes, mt. rushmore, south dakota, legends, icons
via Wikimedia Commons
Mount Rushmore National Memorial in South Dakota.

Sculptor Gutzon Borglum designed the Mount Rushmore National Memorial and oversaw the project's execution from 1927 to 1941. The sculptor also chose the four presidents who are carved into granite on the mountain’s face. He selected the four presidents to represent the nation's birth (George Washington), growth (Thomas Jefferson), development (Theodore Roosevelt) and preservation (Abraham Lincoln).

Since the faces on Mount Rushmore were first chiseled into granite there have been debates over which presidents also deserve to be on the monument. Two years ago, then-President Donald Trump floated the idea that he deserved to have his face carved in granite.

A Reddit user posed an interesting question to the online forum about the famous monument and it sparked a great conversation. “You get to add another American to Mt. Rushmore but it can’t be a president. Who do you choose?”

That’s a tough question to answer but a fun one to ponder. What criteria does one use to choose the greatest American that ever lived who wasn’t a president? More than 545 million people have lived in the country over the past 244 years. How do we choose one?

Do you select someone from the world of sports, science, the arts, literature, civil rights, religion, military or healthcare? What about someone who performed a heroic deed? Someone that would be hilarious next to these fabled statesmen? A fictional character? There are so many choices!

mount rushmore, greatest american, reddit, presidents, heroes, mt. rushmore, south dakota, legends, iconsYou'll definitely want to visit Mount Rushmore if they start adding people from this list.Giphy

To weight the responses on the Reddit post, I looked at the number of upvotes each suggestion received and then ranked them. It’s not the most scientific way of doing things but it gives us a pretty good idea about who people think should make it to the monument.

Here are the top 20 most popular responses to the burning question: “Which non-president should be added to Mount Rushmore?”

1.

"Dr. Jonas Salk. Saved us all from polio." — Barefoot_Alvin

Salk invented the polio vaccine in 1955. Soon thereafter, the disease was essentially eradicated after killing a stunning half a million people per year for the previous several decades. This man, this hero, would certainly have strong thoughts if he were alive today.

jonas salk, mount rushmore, greatest american, reddit, presidents, heroes, mt. rushmore, south dakota, legends, iconsSalk worked incredibly hard to develop a lifesaving vaccine. Wonder what he'd think about RFK Jr?By SAS Scandinavian Airlines - Commons

2.

"There is already a non-president on Mt. Rushmore. John Cena." — zoqforpik

The Reddit user is clearly referencing the wrestler's catchphrase.

john cena, mount rushmore, greatest american, reddit, presidents, heroes, mt. rushmore, south dakota, legends, iconsIs John Cena in the room with us right now?Giphy

3.

"Dolly Parton." — Airos42

A true legend in her field, with plenty of longevity and a huge heart. I can see it.

4.

"Mr. Rogers." — PitchforkJoe

One of the best human beings to ever live. How rare is it for a man to achieve this level of fame without a single controversy or scandal? Oh, sorry, we're forgetting about the one time he did piss off a lot of viewers — for taking a stand against racial inequality on his show.

mr. rogers, mount rushmore, greatest american, reddit, presidents, heroes, mt. rushmore, south dakota, legends, iconsA famous heterosexual white man without a scandal to be seen.Giphy

5.

"Mark Twain. The quintessential American writer. We always put up statues of military and politicians across this country. It would be nice to see more of our creative side get honored. Put up Poe on the mountain. Attract goths to the site." — inksmudgedhands

6.

"Martin Luther King Jr." — bahamuto

A great and noble choice. Few people did more to advance social progress in the United States than Martin Luther King, Jr., who did so at great cost. If anyone deserves to live forever in granite, it's him.

7.

"How is Nicolas Cage not here yet?" — deus_vult

Nicolas Cage has had an amazing redemption arc that puts him up there with some of the greatest American heroes. A few years ago he was considered a washed-up, no-talent actor who's best days and films were behind him. After a rough string of B-movies, he somehow earned "cult favorite" status and began stacking up an incredible filmography. Not too many people come back from that kind of soft-cancelling. That's the American dream, right?

nicolas cage, mount rushmore, greatest american, reddit, presidents, heroes, mt. rushmore, south dakota, legends, iconsComing back from the edge of irrelevance is the real American dream.Giphy

8.

"John Wilkes Booth but he's further back behind Lincoln." — Jakovosol0

Oof. Still too soon?

9.

"Benjamin Franklin." — FinnbarMcBride

It's a common misconception that Ben Franklin invented electricity. He didn't. But he did discover that lightning was a form of electrical discharge, so if it weren't for him, we'd all still be frolicking around in thunderstorms without a care in the world! Thanks, Ben.

ben franklin, mount rushmore, greatest american, reddit, presidents, heroes, mt. rushmore, south dakota, legends, iconsWhat's under those pantaloons?Giphy

10.

"Sacagawea." — bivalve_connisseur

The Louisiana Territory, ever heard of it? Without Sacagawea as their guide, Lewis and Clark never could have made the perilous journey across what is now a stretch of land containing Arkansas, Kansas, Nebraska, Montana, and more. She was only a teenager at the time. Sadly, she died in her early twenties — just think of what other historical impact she may have made.

sacagawea, mount rushmore, greatest american, reddit, presidents, heroes, mt. rushmore, south dakota, legends, iconsLewis and Clark get way more fanfare than they deserve.Giphy

11.

"Homer Simpson." — EonClaw

If we're considering fictional characters, this discussions starts to get a whole lot more interesting.

12.

"Bob Ross." — j-oats

13.

"Weird Al." — OntarioLakeside

No one did more for the genre of satirical polka parodies of pop songs than Weird Al.


weird al, mount rushmore, greatest american, reddit, presidents, heroes, mt. rushmore, south dakota, legends, iconsWeird Al turned parody into a true art form.Giphy

14.

"Frederick Douglass." — kade22

15.

"Betty White." — Diatrial

If you really think about it, everything started going downhill after Betty White passed away at the age of 99. No one had a bad word to say about her. She definitely has a strong case for being included on Mount Rushmore 2.0.

16.

The person who started the thread chimed in with their nominee.

"Neil Armstrong would be my number one." — taint_licking_clown


mount rushmore, greatest american, reddit, presidents, heroes, mt. rushmore, south dakota, legends, iconsFunny enough, Buzz Aldrin didn't receive any votes.Giphy

17.

"Harriet Tubman." — 44cksSake

She freed hundreds of slaves during her time as an operator of the Underground Railroad and through other activist work. A remarkable feat for people who otherwise would have continued to suffer unimaginable cruelty.

18.

"Ronnie James Dio!" — kevinthegeek21

If you don't know Ronnie, you probably know him by his greatest achievement: He invented the iconic "devil horns" commonly associated with heavy metal and rock music.

19.

"Maria Darlene Pearson or Hai-Mecha Eunka (lit. 'Running Moccasins') (July 12, 1932 – May 23, 2003) was an activist who successfully challenged the legal treatment of Native American human remains. A member of the Turtle Clan of the Yankton Sioux which is a federally recognized tribe of Yankton Dakota, she was one of the primary catalysts for the creation of the Native American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act (NAGPRA). Her actions led to her being called 'the Founding Mother of the modern Indian repatriation movement' and 'the Rosa Parks of NAGPRA." — CTeam19

20.

"Danny DeVito." — distantshadow

Alright, DeVito is a legend and all, but we're really starting to stretch here. Even Danny would agree:

danny devito, mount rushmore, greatest american, reddit, presidents, heroes, mt. rushmore, south dakota, legends, iconsDanny DeVito is all set with his current level of fame.Giphy

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

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Walking Alongside Martu: A journey with one of the world’s oldest living cultures

Pura’s inaugural impact collection honors both sacred traditions and sustainable futures.

James Roh
True

In a world driven by speed, efficiency, and immediate results, it’s easy to forget that lasting change is built on trust. Real impact doesn’t come from rushing toward an end goal or measuring success through lofty metrics. It comes from falling in love with the problem, building a community around it, and sharing a vision for lasting transformation.

Pura, the smart home fragrance company that marries premium fragrance with innovative technology, recently launched its inaugural impact collection with K Farmer Dutjahn Foundation (KFDF) and Dutjahn Sandalwood Oils (DSO). The Pura x Dutjahn partnership began with a clear purpose: to source a sacred ingredient directly from its origin while honoring the land and the people who’ve cared for it. Our goal wasn’t simply to find sandalwood — it was to find a community and an ingredient that embody exceptional land stewardship, ethical harvesting, and transformative, community-led impact. After careful research and over three years of development, we saw an opportunity to secure a premium, luxurious ingredient while supporting a regenerative supply chain that invests in Indigenous-led education, economic opportunity, and land stewardship.

James Roh

Over the past several years, we’ve walked alongside Martu, an Indigenous tribe from the vast Western Australian desert. Martu are one of the oldest living cultures in the world, with a history spanning 60,000 years. As nomadic hunter-gatherers, they have unparalleled ecological knowledge, passed down through generations, making them the traditional custodians of the land. Their approach to sandalwood harvesting isn’t driven by market demand but by a deep respect for seasonal rhythms, land health, and cultural law. Their work adapts to the environment—whether it’s “sorry time,” when mourning pauses activities, or the harsh desert conditions that make travel and communication difficult. Martu operate on Martu time, a deliberate rhythm shaped by millennia of experience, far removed from the rapid-swipe, hyper-productive pace of Western systems.

Martu’s ecological knowledge isn’t documented in baseline reports. It’s lived, carried in stories, and practiced with rigor and respect for the changing needs of the ecosystems. True partnership means unlearning the typical approach. It means standing beside—not in front—and recognizing that the wisdom and leadership we need already exist within these communities. Our role isn’t to define the work, but to support it, protect it, and learn from it.

James Roh

Tonight, as I spoke with Chairman Clinton Farmer and the KFDF team about our focus for this piece, I learned that Clinton’s truck had broken down (again), leaving him to “limp” back to town from the desert at low speeds for hours and hours. He had been awake since 3:00 a.m. This is a common and costly setback, one that disrupts the harvest, demands days of driving, and brings real financial and emotional strain. These barriers are relentless and persistent, part of the harsh reality Clinton and his community face daily. It's easy for outsiders, detached from the reality on the ground, to impose rules, regulations, and demands from afar. Rather than continuing to impose, we need to truly partner with communities — equipping them with the resources to operate sustainably, avoid burnout, and protect the very land they love and care for. All while they endeavor to share these incredible, sacred ingredients with the world and build an economic engine for their people.

There is much to learn, but we are here to listen, adapt, and stay the course. The future we need will not be built in quarterly cycles. It will be built in trust, over time, together.

To learn more about the partnership and fragrances, visit Pura x Dutjahn.

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Science confirms ‘Move in Silence’ trend might be the smartest way to achieve your goals

“I promise you things always work out better when you keep them to yourself.”

TikTok: @wemiopakunle, @_alliechen, @mandanazarfhami,

Science confirms ‘Move in Silence’ trend might be the smartest way to achieve your goals.

TikTok's latest viral wisdom is backed by hard data—and it's making people rethink their communication habits. We live in a world of chronic oversharing. We post everything, from the routes we run (including screenshots as proof of all that hard work), to the pale-green iced matcha latte sitting at our desks or a present from a boyfriend (who will be tagged prominently, not secretly off screen). Who knows when, but our brains became wired for sharing: to record, to curate, and to post every second of our lives, then consume that of others to a disturbing degree. So, here's a radical idea: when it comes to goals and plans, try keeping them to yourself. It could be the key to making them a reality.

That's the message behind TikTok's massively popular "Move in Silence" trend, where creators like @noemoneyyy have cracked the contradictory code to success: Instead of broadcasting every big idea or project that runs through your head, if you actually want it to come to fruition, keep your plans to yourself until they're executed. And it's not just a trend; surprisingly, science also supports this muted approach.


@noemoneyyy Work in private and let the results speak! #privatelife #privatelifehappylife #workinprivate #creatorsearchinsights ♬ sonido original - Luis Jonathan

"As a former oversharer who used to tell every single friend, every single family member, or a partner everything I was doing, I promise you things always work out better when you keep them to yourself," explains creator @noemoneyyy in a video that's garnered millions of views.

On a different video by @mandanazarfhami, she says, “I don’t care what you’ve got going on in your life: that dream job, that city that you want to move to, that dream person, that dream life, that dream anything. Literally keep it to yourself until it’s done.”

Commentors were quick to agree, with one person writing: “From a young age, I never told anyone my next steps. I also taught my husband and son to keep our private matters to themselves and just do things 💯Not many people like it, but who cares🌝🙌🏼🫶🏼”

Another chimed in, “This concept has changed my life for the better.” Others replied, “100 agree 💕” and “100%🙌🏼people can’t ruin what is silent, show results.”


@mandanazarghami monitoring spirits are a real thing - move in silence and watch how much your life changes #fypシ ♬ Jacob and the Stone - Emile Mosseri


What's going on here

In a study done by New York University, researchers found that people who kept their goals private worked on tasks for an average of 45 minutes, compared to the 33 minutes of work completed by those who announced their plans in advance. The twist? The people who shared their goals expressed feeling closer to finishing, despite doing approximately 25% less work.

NYU psychologist Peter Gollwitzer, who led the research, concluded that "once you've told other people your intentions, it gives you a 'premature sense of completeness.'" He also found that the brain is made up of "identity symbols," which create one's self-image. Interestingly, both action and talking about action create symbols in your brain, so simply speaking about a future plan or something you want to do satisfies that part of your brain. When we make our goals public, especially ones that matter to us and deal with our identity, our ability to achieve said goal is significantly reduced. As the old adage goes, "actions speak louder than words."

Stranger still, in his paper "Does Social Reality Widen the Intention-Behavior Gap," Gollwitzer notes that in order for this phenomenon to happen, one must truly care about their goals. "Ironically, this effect was only found for participants who are very committed to their goal!" PsychologyToday notes. "The lesson learned is that the more passionate you are about your goals, the more secretive you should be about them."

Quiet, silence, peace, shhh, no speaking, secret The more passionate you are about your goals, the more secretive you should be. Photo credit: Canva

Another reason to keep quiet: If you're a beginner trying something new, sharing your plans could potentially open you up to criticism and negative feedback, which could deter you from even starting. At the University of Chicago, professor Ayelet Fishbach conducted studies to determine how positive and negative feedback affects the pursuit of one's goal. According to Atlassian, she and her team found:

  • When positive feedback signals commitment to a goal, it increases motivation.
  • When positive feedback signals progress, it actually decreases motivation.
"One example the researchers give is a math student who gets a good grade on a test. If she perceives it to mean she likes math, she will study harder. If, however, she sees the high score as a sign she is making progress in the class, she may ease up and study less." - Atlassian


@_alliechen I used to be such an open book but now im a lot more reserved on my goals and plans so ppl dont judge #moveinsilence #relateablecontent #girlies #viral #success ♬ suara asli - astrooo🪐

We've all been there: excitedly telling everyone about your grand plans to backpack through Europe, the year you'll finally learn Spanish, or joining the group lesson at the tennis courts you always pass by… only to mysteriously lose all motivation a week later. Turns out, those lovely dopamine bursts that accompany every enthusiastic "That sounds great!" or "You should totally do it!" response might be precisely what's holding you back.

The good news? You don't need to become closed-off and secretive, a hermit on the top of a mountain who's afraid to share any part of themselves with the world. Research suggests that sharing your goals with one or two selected friends who can be trusted to provide meaningful support is still a good idea. Just hold off on the Instagram Live announcement until you've actually accomplished something substantial.

So, the next time you sit down to write your goals, whether they be a new year's resolution, the day's to-do list, or a five-year plan, think twice about sharing it with others. Give it time and you might have something better to share soon: the results.

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Parenting

Dad creates epic 'vacation' photos to soothe 4-year-old daughter who lost her stuffed T-Rex

He was buying time until a replacement toy could be found.

DuffManSzALotAThings/Reddit

Dad photoshops daughter's lost stuffed T-Rex toy to buy himself time.

There are few things worse than a lost beloved stuffed animal. The loss is not only tough on kids, but on adults too (to figure out a solution). But one dad turned tragedy into something positive when his four-year-old daughter lost her stuffed toy T-Rex dinosaur.

He shared on social media his hilarious solution with other parents. Instead of delivering the bad news to his daughter that her T-Rex was gone forever, he created an elaborate story–explaining that her T-Rex had gone on a long vacation, and would be arriving home soon.

"My 4 year old daughter lost her stuffed T-rex on vacation. To buy time until I could get a new one, I told her that he said he wanted more time to enjoy himself," he wrote. "Every day I would edit him into one of my vacation photos and e-mail it to myself and show it to her as 'proof' of his extended vacation."

t-rex, t-rex toy, vacation, photshop, dadDad photoshops daughter's lost T-Rex toy into vacation photos.DuffManSzALotAThings/Reddit

He added that his daughter lost the T-Rex while in Bruges, Belgium. "We started our vacation in Bruges and noticed when we got to Amsterdam that he was gone. I e-mailed the hotel we stayed at multiple times but they never e-mailed me back," he shared.

But it all ended up working out okay in the end. "When I finally got a new one, I put him on the front porch with some Belgian chocolate he got her and a new friend that he met. I then rang the doorbell from my phone and told her to check whether it was Sparkly Rex," he shared.

t-rex, t-rex toy, vacation, photshop, dadDad photoshops daughter's lost T-Rex toy into vacation photos to buy himself time.DuffManSzALotAThings/Reddit

A fellow parent commented, "This is so wholesome! I bet she'll remember this moment forever, you seem like a wonderful dad!" And he replied, "Thank you! I hope she remembers it, too. I got some nice photos and a video of her answering the door so at least I'll always have it if her memory fades."

Another parent added, "GREAT JOB!!!!! Making a hard issue into an adventure. Great parenting. Keep up the good work. Your child is lucky to have you." And he responded, "Thank you! I appreciate it! She's the boss of the house, need to keep her happy."

first class, t-rex, lost toy, vacation, parenting storyDad photoshops daughter's lost T-Rex flying first class.DuffManSzALotAThings/Reddit

Other parents opened up about their stories with lost stuffed animals. One parent wrote, "My son lost his favorite irreplaceable stuffie when we stayed at a swanky hotel one time. Simply disappeared overnight and we concluded he got sent to the laundry. I begged and pleaded to be let down into the laundry to look but they refused. I drew a reward poster featuring the stuffie and we asked them to post it in all the housekeeping spaces. The whole plane ride home my son asked me what percent chance would his stuffie get sent back (very math oriented from early age) and endless discussions of his possible fate. I settled on 20-30%. A week later, the beloved stuffie appeared, overnighted in a Fed Ex envelope. My son was so so happy and I was thrilled and impressed. That stuffie never traveled with us again!! And I will forever be grateful and loyal to that hotel."

Another parent shared, "Many years ago I accidentally left my challenged daughter’s stuffed animal, (Meeko the raccoon from Pocahontas), on top of my car while leaving a restaurant. She cried for days worried that something had happened to him. Meeko was very well loved. He was missing an eye, his tongue, and had a torn ear. But Meeko was always sleeping next to my daughter every night when she went to bed. We stalled for time by telling her Meeko wanted to take a vacation and would be back soon. The whole time I scoured every toy and department store in nearby areas looking for a new one to no avail. Finally found one on eBay and tripled the high bid to make sure I got him . When he finally showed up he was greeted with many, many loving hugs! My daughter scolded Meeko for running away and grounded him for ever. Years later, when my daughter passed away, they were cremated together so they would never be apart."

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Science

What will Earth look like if all its land ice melts? These maps show the clear answer.

Climate change isn't pretty.

via Business Insider Science/YouTube.

A map of the United States post land-ice melt.

Land ice: We got a lot of it. Considering the two largest ice sheets on earth — the one on Antarctica and the one on Greenland — extend more than 6 million square miles combined ... yeah, we're talkin' a lot of ice. But what if it was all just ... gone? Not like gone gone, but melted?

If all of earth's land ice melted, it would be nothing short of disastrous. And that's putting it lightly. This video by Business Insider Science (seen below) depicts exactly what our coastlines would look like if all the land ice melted. And spoiler alert: It isn't great. Lots of European cities like, Brussels and Venice, would be basically underwater.

I bring up the topic not just for funsies, of course, but because the maps are real possibilities.

How? Climate change.

As we continue to burn fossil fuels for energy and emit carbon into our atmosphere, the planet gets warmer and warmer. And that, ladies and gentlemen, means melted ice.

A study published this past September by researchers in the U.S., U.K., and Germany found that if we don't change our ways, there's definitely enough fossil fuel resources available for us to completely melt the Antarctic ice sheet.

Basically, the self-inflicted disaster you see above is certainly within the realm of possibility.


assets.rebelmouse.io


In Africa and the Middle East? Dakar, Accra, Jeddah — gone.



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Millions of people in Asia, in cities like Mumbai, Beijing, and Tokyo, would be uprooted and have to move inland.



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South America would say goodbye to cities like Rio de Janeiro and Buenos Aires.


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And in the U.S., we'd watch places like Houston, San Francisco, and New York City — not to mention the entire state of Florida — slowly disappear into the sea.


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All GIFs via Business Insider Science/YouTube.

Business Insider based these visuals off National Geographic's estimation that sea levels will rise 216 feet (!) if all of earth's land ice melted into our oceans.

There's even a tool where you can take a detailed look at how your community could be affected by rising seas, for better or worse.

Although ... looking at these maps, it's hard to imagine "for better" is a likely outcome for many of us.

Much of America's most populated regions would be severely affected by rising sea levels, as you'll notice exploring the map, created by Alex Tingle using data provided by NASA.

Take, for instance, the West Coast. (Goodbye, San Fran!)



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Or the East Coast. (See ya, Philly!)


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And the Gulf Coast. (RIP, Bourbon Street!)

"This would not happen overnight, but the mind-boggling point is that our actions today are changing the face of planet Earth as we know it and will continue to do so for tens of thousands of years to come," said lead author of the study Ricarda Winkelmann, of the Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research.

If we want to stop this from happening," she says, "we need to keep coal, gas, and oil in the ground."

The good news? Most of our coastlines are still intact! And they can stay that way, too — if we act now.

World leaders are finallystarting to treat climate change like the global crisis that it is — and you can help get the point across to them, too.

Check out Business Insider's video below:


- YouTubewww.youtube.com


This article originally appeared eleven years ago.

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Family

Mans builds his stressed fiancee an 'anxiety chair' and sweetly puts her in time-out

"Caring and a lil bossy ⭐⭐⭐⭐"

Photo credit: Canva

May we all have a better half like this.

Supporting a partner with anxiety involves understanding, validation, encouragement, and sometimes…building them their own special timeout spot where they can actually relax.

That was certainly the case for one man who wanted to help his fiancée feel a bit better while dealing with the final week of wedding planning. (Let’s be honest, weddings are stressful for just about any bride, but for those of us with anxiety, it can be a mental health nightmare.)

In a TikTok that's since reached almost 1 million views, we see Ryan Erkins give said bride, Debra Reisinger, the rundown on her gift—an "anxiety chair” inspired by Inside Out 2.

anxiety, anxiety tips, anxiety chair, husbands, green flags, red flags, marriage, partner with anxiety, support someone with anxietymedia4.giphy.com

As any Disneyphile would know, this Pixar sequel featured Anxiety as a new character, and at one pivotal part of the movie, the other emotions have to calm her panic attack by sitting her down in a chair with a cup of soothing tea.

Using an Inside Out poster as a reference, Erkins tells Reisinger, “Whenever you start to feel here, it's becoming too much.”

“I need you to come sit in here, light the candle with a drink, it’s your favorite color rose, and just relax for like 10 minutes…You aren’t allowed to leave until the timer’s up,” he continues, using the right amount of bossiness that’s honestly so needed during a time of chaos. Even when Reisinger asks, “Can I have my phone?” Erkins firmly says, “Nope, cause all you’re gonna do on your phone is look at stuff. You can turn the TV on.”

@debrareisinger He reminds me often why he’s my better half. Entering our final week of wedding planning, he pulls this out. ❤️🥲 @Coach Ryan Erkins #anxiety #insideout #fiance #weddingplanning #ringcamera #cincinnati #bestpartnerever ♬ original sound - Debra Leann


Seriously, the Disneyness, the wholehearted support, the sass—what’s not to love about this?

Down in the comments, people agreed this "polite timeout” was peak "green flag behaviour," especially by those who also deal with anxiety.

“To be loved, is to been seen.”

“As a woman with panic attack, this is the SWEETEST gesture 🥺.”

“Respectfully, also in love with your husband now.”

"Caring and a lil bossy ⭐⭐⭐⭐"

“Set a timer for 8 minutes. He said imma regular you if you can’t do it yourself love this!!!"

Many also noted the similarities of this approach to gentle parenting, which still provides firm boundaries while ultimately prioritizing compassion. Basically, it works for adults too.

“I’m all for gentle marriage," one viewer quipped.

Of course, everyone is ultimately responsible for their own emotional regulation, but having a partner, a friend, or a family member to help us through the more challenging times can really make all the difference. Sounds like Erkins easily understands this concept.

By the way, it looks like all that wedding stress didn’t mar the big day:

@debrareisinger I married my best friend ❤️💍🍾 8.31.24 #justmarried #glenviewgolfcourse #cincinnati #alwaysandforever #mrandmrserkins #erkinseverafter @Coach Ryan Erkins ♬ original sound - Debra Leann

Here’s to a life full of love, laughter, and timeouts in the anxiety chair for these two.

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Joy

A college student was fed up with a classmate taking his seat. Then he saw his own ignorance.

Things are not always as they appear.

Photo credit: Canva

Don't judge a book by its cover.

You know that feeling you get when you walk into a classroom and see someone else's stuff on your desk? OK, sure, there are no assigned seats, but you've been sitting at the same desk since the first day and everyone knows it. So why does the guy who sits next to you put his phone, his book, his charger, his lunch, and his laptop in the space that's rightfully yours? It's annoying.

All you want to do was walk in, sit down, get out your notebook and (try to) pay attention. But now? Now you've got to talk to a stranger about moving their stuff and there goes your day, already bogged down with petty annoyances. Sound familiar?

classroom, desk, classmates, claiming a seatEven when there's no assigned seat, everyone knows where they usually sit.Photo credit: Canva

We've all got so much to do these days that interacting with people we see every day — not our friends, but our classmates, fellow commuters, co-workers, the people in line for coffee with us every day — can feel like a burden. So, when these people do something we perceive as annoying, like putting their stuff on our desks, we don't have the time or the energy to assume their intentions or think about the lives they're leading.

But if we stepped out of ourselves for a second, we might just realize that we're all much more connected than we think, that our preconceived notions of others are usually just that — preconceived. And, often, inaccurate.

That's why this X story about a guy who learned an important life lesson from a classmate he was frustrated with has resonated with thousands. It's the perfect example of that "don't judge a book by its cover" adage we should have all learned in preschool but sometimes forget. And it starts the exact same way as this post — with a college student groaning on the inside as he sees someone's stuff on his desk.

Thomas McFall (@thomas___mcfall) wrote:

"So in one of my Management classes I sit in the same seat in the front every day. Every single day I sit there. Now, I also sit next to some foreign guy that barely speaks English. The most advanced thing I've heard this guy say in English is 'Wow, my muffin is really good.'

This guy also has a habit of stacking every item he owns in the exact space I sit. His bag, his food, his books, and his phone are ALWAYS right on my desk space.

Now, every single time I walk into class this guy says 'Ah, Tom. You here. Okay.' And starts frantically clearing my desk of his belongings. He then makes it a habit to say 'Ready for class, yeah?' And gives me a high five. Every day this guy gives me a high five.

I was ALWAYS annoyed with this guy. I'm thinking 'Dude, you know I sit in this seat every day. Why are you always stacking your shit here? And the last thing I want to do is give a guy who barely speaks my language high fives at 8 in the morning.' Just get your shit off my desk.

But today I came to class and was running a few minutes late. I'm standing outside because I had to send a quick text. I could see my usual space through the door out of the corner of my eye. Of course, my desk was filled with his belongings. The usual.

As I'm standing there on my phone another guy who was also late walks into the class before me and tried to take my seat since it's closest to the door. The guy sitting next to me stops this dude from sitting down and says 'I'm sorry. My good friend Thomas sits here.'

It was then that I realized this guy wasn't putting stuff on my seat to annoy me. He was saving me the seat every morning. And this whole time he saw me as a friend but I was too busy thinking about myself to take him into consideration. Cheesy as it sounds, I was touched.

I ended up going into class and of course he cleared the seat and said 'Ah, Tom. You here. Okay.' And I did get a high five. At the end of class I ended up asking him if he wanted to get a bite to eat with me. We did. And we talked for a while. I got through the broken English.

The guy moved here from the Middle East to pursue a college education in America. He plans to go back after he gets his degree. He's got two kids and a wife. He works full time and sends his all his left over money back home to his wife.

I asked him how he liked America as well. He said he misses his family but it's exciting to be here. He also said 'Not every American is nice to me like you are, Tom.' I bought lunch, of course. Dude deserves it. He gave me a high five for buying lunch. Gotta keep up tradition.

Moral of the story? Don't do what I do and constantly only think about yourself. It took me nearly the entire semester to get my head out of my ass and realize this guy was just trying to be my friend. Better late than never I suppose."

If not for this one day running late, McFall may have never realized what his classmate was trying to do. And he may have continued to think of him as annoying, maybe telling others about "the weird guy who was always trying to take up my space"... when all the guy was really trying to do was be kind. We all misinterpret the actions of others sometimes. It's easy to do that!

But if there's one thing this story reminds us, it's that it's important to stop and remember that while you're living your life, other people are living theirs, so assuming best intentions can do us a great favor. That's why we should step outside of our bubbles and engage with the world on a regular basis. You could make a new friend. You might brighten someone's day.

But most importantly, getting out of your own head, checking your own biases, and giving others the benefit of the doubt will make you a more compassionate person. You don't have to engage with everyone you meet, but the next time someone smiles and offers you a high-five? Maybe just take them up on it.

This article was originally published seven years ago.

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