upworthy

A woman's purity certificate went viral. Time to talk about that whole 'virginity' thing.

The conversation about virginity doesn't seem to go away. So let's set the record straight.

Are you a virgin?

Sure, the question might seem simple at first glance...

Nope. Not so fast.

When we dig into what "virginity" really means, it gets a little more complicated.

Just like this photo that went viral. Check it out: Just a young woman in a wedding dress beaming as she stands next to her father on her big day.

Nope. Not so fast. Take a closer look...


Image via ABC News/YouTube.

They're both holding a "Certificate of Purity" from her doctor.

Now, I'm not here to knock the fact that Brelyn Bowman had a goal that was important to her that she achieved. But there is something messed up about the, um, measurement of that goal.

Here's the thing: It's impossible to "prove" someone is a virgin using a hymen test.

The basis for Bowman's test was whether her hymen — a membrane in the vaginal canal — was still intact. While the test worked for her, it has long been debunked as a useful tool to determine whether someone has engaged in sex.

There are two big issues here: First, not all hymens are created equal. Some people are born with hymens that are not intact. And, second, even if someone is born with it intact, the hymen can tear due to a variety of nonsexual activities, like horseback riding or gymnastics.


Quick! Someone tell her to get off that horse or it'll render all obsolete virginity tests useless! Photo by richard266/pixabay.

OK, so if the hymen test doesn't work. What does?

Wait! Back that horse up because we're putting it before the cart.

There's no set definition for virginity. People commonly say that a virgin is someone who has never had sex. But what counts as sex?

Does oral sex count? Anal intercourse? Conventionally, people have tended to believe that only penis-in-vagina intercourse counts. But then ... are gay people always virgins? What about people who engage in other sexual contact?

I wouldn't blame you if you're scratching your head right now because it all seems pretty complicated and confusing.

It's hard to parse it all because virginity isn't a biological state. It's a social construct.



Think about it: The valuation of virginity is only targeted toward women.

There's no test for people without vaginas.

That's because virginity and sexual purity emerged way back in ye olden times as a way to control women's behavior. And we see that in all the sexual double standards we have between men and women.

See what I mean? GIF from "How To Lose Your Virginity."

In spite of the fact that virginity can't be proven, it's still used as a way to measure a woman's so-called "purity."

Look at the phenomenon of purity balls: A girl's "sanctity" is promised to a male protector (father) until it's (presumably) handed off to a male spouse. (The possibility that the young woman won't be with a man or ever get married? IMPOSSIBLE.)


Fathers and daughters dance during a purity ball. Image via ABC News/YouTube.

There's nothing wrong with choosing to wait to have sex. But let's make sure we provide young people with fact-based information to help them make that decision.

Providing comprehensive sex education, which would explain that a hymen test isn't an accurate test of virginity, could be a great start. Comparing people who have multiple sexual partners to chewed gum doesn't provide the proper foundation to make a fully informed decision.

A Harvard study revealed that abstinence-only education does not make a student less likely to engage in premarital sex. They're just as likely to have it, but less likely to use contraception the first time. You know what actually helps students delay sex (and use contraception to boot)? Comprehensive sex ed education.

Behold, the power of accurate knowledge!

The whole notion that a woman's "purity" — and thus her value — is tied to whether she has had sex or not is just plain wrong.

As Jessica Valenti, author of "The Purity Myth," says:

The purity myth is the lie that women's sexuality has some bearing on who we are and how good we are. Because, really, I think that we all know that young women are so much more than whether or not they have sex.

We really should be teaching our daughters that our ability to be good people is based on their intelligence, their compassion, their kindness — not what they do with their bodies.

I'm not judging Bowman for her decision.

Instead, I'm aiming my judgment at a society that perpetuates misinformation about sex and our bodies.

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Fatherhood

Dad and daughter relationships perfectly  explained in 10 paintings

The bond between dads and daughters is amazing.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

It's hard to truly describe the amazing bond between dads and their daughters.

Being a dad is an amazing job no matter the gender of the tiny humans we're raising. But there's something unique about the bond between fathers and daughters. Most dads know what it's like to struggle with braiding hair, but we also know that bonding time provides immense value to our daughters. In fact, studies have shown that women with actively involved fathers are more confident and more successful in school and business.

You know how a picture is worth a thousand words? I'll just let these images sum up the daddy-daughter bond.

A 37-year-old Ukrainian artist affectionately known as Soosh, recently created some ridiculously heartwarming illustrations of the bond between a dad and his daughter, and put them on her Instagram feed. Sadly, her father wasn't involved in her life when she was a kid. But she wants to be sure her 9-year-old son doesn't follow in those footsteps.

"Part of the education for my kiddo who I want to grow up to be a good man is to understand what it's like to be one," Soosh told Upworthy.

There are so many different ways that fathers demonstrate their love for their little girls, and Soosh pretty much nails all of them.

Get ready to run the full gamut of the feels.

1. Dads can do it all. Including hair.

parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artworkA father does his daughter's hairAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

2. They also make pretty great game opponents.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, chessA father plays chess with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

3. And the Hula-Hoop skills? Legendary.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, hula hoopA dad hula hoops with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

4. Dads know there's always time for a tea party regardless of the mountain of work in front of them.



A dad talks to his daughter while working at his deskAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


5. And their puppeteer skills totally belong on Broadway.



A dad performs a puppet show for his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


6. Dads help us see the world from different views.



A dad walks with his daughter on his backAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


7. So much so that we never want them to leave.



a dad carries a suitcase that his daughter holds ontoAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


8. They can make us feel protected, valued, and loved.



A dad holds his sleeping daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


9. Especially when there are monsters hiding in places they shouldn't.



A superhero dad looks over his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


10. Seeing the daddy-daughter bond as art perfectly shows how beautiful fatherhood can be.



A dad takes the small corner of the bed with his dauthterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

fathers

Dad breaks down in joyous tears after finding out daughter won four awards at school

"I've never been an academic student. I've never reached those highs before."

Photo credit: Canva

Dad breaks down in tears after daughter won four school awards

Kids are constantly surprising us. It's one of the perks of being a parent, watching your child learn new things as they grow all while making us proud. This can be especially true for parents who may not have had the best childhood or may not have been the best student. One dad attended his daughter's awards ceremony at her elementary school and left in tears after being overwhelmed with pride.

In a video uploaded to social media, Ralmon McAfee is seen with tears streaming down his face and we soon find out why. It's not just because his daughter was the recipient of four awards but because he didn't expect a child he created to be smart enough to receive academic awards.

Photo credit: Canva

While parents often do their best to raise their children with more resources and opportunity than they had, it can be hard to overcome the negative thoughts left over from childhood. Clearly this emotional dad was still holding on to the belief that he wasn't intelligent as a child and therefore unintentionally expected his child to experience what he had in his childhood educational settings. This makes the emotional response all the more intense for the man.

The video was originally uploaded at the end of the school year to TikTok but has recently been reshared on Reddit where it has gone viral again.

@mr.review832 PROUD FATHER NEVER HAVE I EVER RECEIVED ANY OF THOSE AWARDS .....BUT FOR MY SEED MY FLESH BLOOD TO DO IT !!!!!...I COULDNT BE ANYMORE HAPPIER!!!! #fypシ #GRADUATION ♬ original sound - RAMBO

"Call me soft. Call me what y'all want. But I never expected my child to receive four awards. And I've never, and I've never been a academic student. I've never reached those heights before. Call me weak, call me lame but I'm crying because I never thought that could come from me and I'm proud of my daughter," the dad says.

Photo credit: Canva

He wasn't the only one exuding excitement. People who viewed the video were happy the dad got to experience seeing his daughter succeed in a way he didn't achieve as a child and didn't know that his children could. As the video was ending the proud father told viewers he was headed back to work to continue to provide for his daughter. Viewers hope he told everyone at work all about his daughter's awards so he had others to share in his joy.

One person says, "I hope he told everyone at work, gotta share the excitement he has for his girl!" before another responds, "You kidding?! He's probably told all his colleagues, his boss, AND EVERY client or customer he's served that day! And rightly so. Every parent is or should be proud of their kids' achievements, no matter how small or big. I was and still am when my kids achieve things. And mine are in their 20's and 30's."

Photo credit: Canva

The video made another dad cry right along with him, "I’m a 6’4 275 lb semi jacked dad bod dude that cries during Disney movies. This dude is the FURTHEST from lame and weak of “soft” (imagine thinking kindness towards others is a bad thing).A real man isn’t afraid to show their emotions, communicates, and has empathy and love for others and their accomplishments. He has it in spades. F-ck anyone else who says otherwise. I’m so happy for him and his daughter. F-ck now I’m tearing up lol."

"This is the opposite of weak in my books. This is a father who is so secure in his masculinity that he is not ashamed of crying over his daughter’s achievements. This is strength I’m so happy for this guy and his little star," another writes.

Photo credit: Canva

"'I never thought that could come from me.' Man that's so deep and heartbreaking. He thought that his makeup, his DNA, was 'bad' and wouldn't allow for someone to be academically inclined. He's having a revelation about humanity and it's beautiful. I hope he knows now that he always had, and likely still has, the potential to be whatever kind of person he wants," someone says.

Another tears up at the dad's thought about himself saying, "The thought that in his mind she accomplished something that he feels or was made to feel like he couldn’t. Now he knows that he does have it in him. Also that he’s nurturing something beautiful in his daughter.As a minority we buy into these narratives that tear us down. I’m so happy to see in this day not only that he got to experience that with his child but that he is able to show emotion for it. Some much going on in this video


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Science

The 'world's slowest experiment,' going for nearly 100 years, is still endlessly fascinating

It takes nearly a decade for one drop of this liquid to fall.

upload.wikimedia.org

John Mainstone was the custodian of the Pitch Drop Experiment for 52 years.

Because we use water all the time, most of us have an intuitive sense of how long it takes a drop of water to form and fall. More viscous liquids, like oil or shampoo or honey, drop more slowly depending on how thick they are, which can vary depending on concentration, temperature and more. If you've ever tried pouring molasses, you know why it's used as a metaphor for something moving very slowly, but we can easily see a drop of any of those liquids form and fall in a matter of seconds.

But what about the most viscous substance in the world? How long does it take to form a falling drop? A few minutes? An hour? A day?

How about somewhere between 7 and 13 years?

pitch drop experiment, tar pitch, solid or liquid, physics, world's longest experimentPitch moves so slowly it can't be seen to be moving with the naked eye until it prepares to drop. Battery for size reference.John Mainstone/University of Queensland

The Pitch Drop Experiment began in 1927 with a scientist who had a hunch. Thomas Parnell, a physicist at the University of Queensland in Australia, believed that tar pitch, which appears to be a solid and shatters like glass when hit with a hammer at room temperature, is actually a liquid. So he set up an experiment that would become the longest-running—and the world's slowest—experiment on Earth to test his hypothesis.

Parnell poured molten pitch it into a funnel shaped container, then let it settle and cool for three years. That was just to get the experiment set up so it could begin. Then he opened a hole at the bottom of the funnel to see how long it would take for the pitch to ooze through it, form a droplet, and drop from its source.

It took eight years for the first drop to fall. Nine years for the second. Those were the only two drops Parnell was alive for before he passed away in 1948.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In total, there have been nine pitch drops in the University of Queensland experiment. The first seven drops fell between 7 and 9 years apart, but when air conditioning was added to the building after the seventh drop, the amount of time between drops increased significantly. The drops in 2000 and 2014 happened approximately 13 years after the preceding one. (The funnel is set up as a demonstration with no special environmental controls, so the seasons and conditions of the building can easily affect the flow of the pitch.)

The next drop is anticipated to fall sometime in the 2020s.

pitch drop experiment, tar pitch, solid or liquid, physics, world's longest experimentThe first seven drops fell around 8 years apart. Then the building got air conditioning and the intervals changed to around 13 years.RicHard-59

Though Parnell proved his hypothesis well before the first drop even fell, the experiment continued to help scientists study and measure the viscosity of tar pitch. The thickest liquid substance in the world, pitch is estimated to be 2 million times more viscous than honey and 20 billion times the viscosity of water. No wonder it takes so ridiculously long to drop.

One of the most interesting parts of the Pitch Drop Experiment is that in the no one has ever actually witnessed one of the drops falling at the Queensland site. The drops, ironically, happen rather quickly when they do finally happen, and every time there was some odd circumstance that kept anyone from seeing them take place.

The Queensland pitch drop funnel is no longer the only one in existence, however. In 2013, Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland, managed to capture its own pitch drop on camera. You can see how it looks as if nothing is happening right up until the final seconds when it falls.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Today, however, with the internet and modern technology, it's likely that many people will be able to witness the next drop when it happens. The University of Queensland has set up a livestream of the Pitch Drop Experiment, which you can access here, though watching the pitch move more slowly than the naked eye can detect is about as exciting as watching paint dry.

But one day, within a matter of seconds, it will drop, hopefully with some amount of predictability as to the approximate day at least. How many people are going to be watching a livestream for years, waiting for it to happen?

PoorJohn Mainstone was the custodian of the experiment for 52 years, from 1961 to 2013. Sadly, he never got to witness any of the five drops that took place during his tenure. Neither did Parnell himself with the two that took place while he was alive.

John Mainstone, pitch drop experiment, university of queensland, physicsJohn Mainstone, the second custodian of the Pitch Drop Experiment, with the funnel in 1990.John Mainstone, University of Queensland

Sometimes science is looks like an explosive chemical reaction and sometimes it's a long game of waiting and observing at the speed of nature. And when it comes to pitch dripping through a funnel, the speed of nature is about as slow as it gets.


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Family

'Shut your mouth.' New grandma offers spot on advice to being a non-toxic mother-in-law.

“Nobody cares how you did it."

@wendygimpelrealtor/TikTok

She brings up good points.

We all know the typical image of a mother-in-law is…less than positive. And that is obviously because for many, many people out there, having an in-law who’s controlling, passive aggressive, narcissistic, and altogether unpleasant is a very real experience.

However, there are MIL’s out there, like Wendy Gimpel, who provide not only a soothing counter narrative, but also a bit of tough love advice for those who need to hear it.

In a video posted to her TikTok, we see Gimpel nuzzling her newborn grandchild, whom she is watching over while her son and “his beautiful wife” are off enjoying a date night. Immediate brownie points.

@wendygimpelrealtor Be the best grandparent you can be! be supportive. Do the dishes make the food clean the kitchen fold the diapers do their laundry. Change the sheets love with an open hand. #grandma #grandparents #supportiveparents #over50 #relationships #family #fyp #foryoupage ♬ original sound - Wendy Gimpel


Gimpel went on to explain how her algorithm kept exposing her to folks around her age who apparently have “estrangement issues” with their children, which prompted her to say a few words.

“All I want to say is, our job as grandparents, in my opinion, is to help our kids be the best parents they can be. We already did this. We had our chance. And if we did it right, or at least partially correct, we get to do this!” she said, gesturing towards the little one.

She then added that “Nobody cares how you did it,” she says, referring to raising children, because they aren’t the ones doing the childrearing anymore.

“His wife gets to do [it] the way she wants to do it. ... I just want to do what you want me to do, and I’m not going to give you unsolicited advice. If you want to ask me something, I’m happy to share how I did it, but because I did it a certain way doesn’t mean you need to do it a certain way.”

@wendygimpelrealtor Let’s do better 🥰 #grandma #supportiveparents #grandparents #over50 #relationships #family #over50 #foryoupage #fyp ♬ original sound - Wendy Gimpel

She used the example of cloth diapers, saying, “you wanna do cloth diapers? Let’s do cloth diapers. Show me how to do ‘em. I’ll air dry them. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. I just wanna do what you want me to do.” How refreshing is that?

And then Gimpel really drove her point home, bluntly telling people what to actually do if they want to be good grandparents.

“Shut your mouth, be supportive, cook the food, do the laundry, love with an open hand. Don’t expect anything in return and maybe you’ll have a relationship with your grandkids. That’s the goal, isn’t it? Just to be supportive and helpful and just to be involved, that’s my goal ... They are their own family unit now: they need to do what works for their family.”

@wendygimpelrealtor Pick your battles, be the glue, love your village 🥰 #grandma #supportiveparents #family #relationship #over50 #genx #relationships #foryoupage #fyp #pickyourbattles ♬ original sound - Wendy Gimpel

Unsurprisingly, millions of viewers found the video, and loved the sentiment, particularly the “no one cares how you did it” part.

“‘No one cares how you did it.’ SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK,’” one person wrote.

Another said, "If you offer a workshop, I have a few grandparents to register.”

Perhaps part of this need to insert input comes from a fear of being seen as obsolete. But honestly, it’s not so much that former methods are invalid, it’s just a completely different world (grandparents didn’t have to concern themselves with digital hygiene, for one thing). And point blank, is it more important to be right? Or to maintain a healthy connection with our loved ones? Sometimes it really does boil down to that simple question.

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Humor

A comedian's mom has the most adorable reaction to being name-checked in her son's comedy show

"Do you think she's trying to be rude?"

TikTok

Gareth Reynolds and his mom

Gareth Reynolds, stand-up comic and co-host of the popular podcast The Dollop (alongside comedian Dave Anthony,) is one of the funniest working comics out there. His jokes are stellar, but it's the improvised audience reactions that really resonate with tons of fans.

At a recent comedy show in Eugene, Oregon, he asks an audience member, "What do you got?" (after presumably talking about pets). A woman answers that she has a dog. But what she says next is bizarre, hilarious, and completely unexpected, even for the most seasoned comedians. "She's a weiner-pit. Like your mom." She then elicits a self-satisfied laugh, like she's been waiting forever to say those words.


@reynoldsgareth

Unbelievable. #weinerpit Garethreynolds.com for tickets to all upcoming shows

It takes the audience a minute to even understand what just happened, but shortly after, they begin laughing. Gareth responds, "What the F---?" and the audience goes wild. He gathers himself and says, "Let me walk you through my favorite part of what just happened. First of all, the no waiting for me to respond at any time." He then makes punching gestures and says, "But also. She took her mask off like Maverick does in Top Gun." He mimes ripping a mask off and says, calmly — 'Weiner pit. Like your mom.' And then put it back on like her mission was done."

It's later that the real comedy gold is mined. Gareth decides to show his mother, Pam, the video, explaining, "You're involved in this. I want to get your reaction." She watches the clip a couple of times, while holding a small fan to her face. Gareth repeats the line, "She's a weiner pit. Like your mom."

Video may not be suitable for younger readers.

@reynoldsgareth

My mom’s reaction to being called a weiner pit…

Pam busts out laughing in the most adorable way — her English accent only making it all the more delightful. "That's really funny! A weiner-pit! Like your mom?" She then stops for a moment and asks, "Do you think she's trying to be rude?" Gareth explains that yes, she was trying to be rude, to which Pam questions, "So what does she think, I'm like a little pit bull?"

Gareth pauses. "Oh Mom. No. Think about it. A weiner pit." The words are said a few more times until Pam has an "aha!" moment. "Oh like a willy!" This is affirmed. "But where's the pit?" Gareth, in the most gracious way possible, says — "You are the pit."

Pam, still a bit confused, repeats, "Willy pit," followed by the most engaging giggle, possibly ever heard. Gareth realizes he must further explain, which he does. "Not as funny now, is it?"

She looks up at him again, still smiling. "That IS rude. Well, I think I'll have to track her down, have a word with her, tell her it's not true." Never once does Pam break her grin.

Upworthy spoke to Gareth, who admits that he had no idea the fan had planned to heckle him, or as he put it (referencing his boxing metaphor earlier,) do a "rope-a-dope." With regard to his mom, he shares, "She is always this adorable and I rarely show her stuff. Sometimes my family will show her a thing, or if it involves my family, I'll show her."

Though back in 2020, Gareth shares, "I did a whole series with her called Pamdemics." This made the already popular comedy-mom even more lovable to his fans, and he knows just when to use it. And although Gareth might be biased, after being asked what else he has to say about his mom, his answer is what many of us might be thinking: "I guess only that my mother is truly the loveliest."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com



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