upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
More

Let's break down 15 terrible excuses from accused sexual harassers and predators.

The world is currently being treated to a slow-rolling reveal of the alleged bad behavior of some of its most powerful men.

And inevitably, with bad behavior comes excuses.

It's no surprise that prominent accused harassers and predators, once cornered, would try to wriggle out of accusations of sexual conduct and abuse. What is surprising is the variety in their attempts to justify their alleged behavior. Excuses by way of apology. Excuses by way of confession. Excuses by way of firm, uncompromising denial. All attempting to convey how they didn't do what they've been accused of or that what they did do made sense to them in the moment. In some way, they're the most revealing window into the personal, social, and cultural forces that enable their alleged misdeeds.


Excuses, ultimately, reflect our beliefs about what's just and fair. Which raises some questions: Do any of them actually put the behavior in a context that makes it, in some distressing way, understandable? Do they ever work? And what does it say about us if we believe them?

Here are just some of the excuses we know they've tried:

1. I'm from a different era, and this strange, new culture is confusing to me.

To date, more than 50 women have accused Hollywood mega-producer Harvey Weinstein of engaging in a decades-long pattern of abusive behavior ranging from harassment to sexual coercion to rape. But lest "what he supposedly did" is coloring your impression of him, Weinstein wants you to remember he's not an evil man: He's just a recovering hippie!

"I came of age in the '60s and '70s when all the rules about behavior and workplaces were different," Weinstein wrote in a statement. "That was the culture then."

Harvey Weinstein. Photo by Rich Polk/Getty Images.

Of course. Who doesn't remember the '60s and '70s? Flower power! Free love! Cornering women in a hotel room and trying to force them to watch you shower! Though the millions of other people who made it through those turbulent decades without harassing or abusing anyone — or threatening them if they told anyone and then hiring ex-spies to help cover it up — might remember those decades slightly differently, Weinstein simply refuses to let the swingin' spirit die. No matter the decade, his behavior is less "groovy" and more "galling."

Weinstein's excuse depends on eliding two wildly different notions: (1) That America failed to take workplace harassment and sexual abuse seriously in the '60s and '70s, and (2) that it was OK back then — or perpetrated by anyone reared back then — as a result. While the first assertion is undeniable, the second is self-serving nonsense. Just because a behavior was ignored, tolerated, or even encouraged doesn't make it remotely close to excusable.

2. Hey, it's not like I didn't ask!

Thus wrote comedian Louis C.K. in a widely praised (and widely derided) statement confirming a New York Times report that he had masturbated in front of almost half a dozen unwilling women.

"At the time, I said to myself that what I did was O.K. because I never showed a woman my dick without asking first, which is ... true. But what I learned later in life, too late, is that when you have power over another person, asking them to look at your dick isn’t a question. It’s a predicament for them."

Some might argue C.K.'s approach forgoes the most critical part of consent: waiting for a response. Still others might assert that without getting a "yes" or a "no" back, there's no point in asking at all. Viewed that way, C.K.'s logic is baffling at best, and it's both miraculous and frightening that he somehow got to the age of 50 believing the world works like this.

More frightening still, scattered segments from C.K.'s TV show and various stand-up specials in which the comedian acknowledges viewing masturbation as a form of control or tool of revenge suggest that he did indeed know the effect his behavior had on others — and simply didn't care.

3. The closet made me do it. Also, I was drunk.

Ah, alcohol. Absolver of all responsibility. Whether knocking over a glass vase, texting your roommates at 4 a.m., or sexually assaulting teenagers, some men apparently believe that acknowledging that you were blasted when it happened is a one-way express ticket to Forgiveness Town. That reportedly includes Kevin Spacey, who actor Anthony Rapp says drunkenly attempted to force himself on him when Rapp was 14.

"If I did behave then as he describes, I owe him the sincerest apology for what would have been deeply inappropriate drunken behavior, and I am sorry for the feelings he describes having carried with him all these years," Spacey wrote in a statement responding contritely to the alleged incident. Since the story of Rapp's accusation broke, over a dozen more accusers have come forward.

Kevin Spacey. Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images.

To make matters worse for everyone but himself, Spacey used the space of his response to come out as a gay man — all but implying a connection between his alleged predation and his closeted sexuality. It reads as a desperate attempt to buy a modicum of sympathy at the cost of casting suspicion on millions of innocent LGBTQ Americans.

4. It's just what guys do.

Donald Trump's now-infamous comments about sexually assaulting women — "Grab 'em by the pussy" and "I moved on her like a bitch" — have largely disappeared down the memory hole, thanks to the steadily strengthening storm of scandals swirling around the now-president. Still, it's tough to forget how the former reality show host became president in the first place: by managing to convince a depressing percentage of Americans that his unscripted admission was just a case of "boys being boys."

"This was locker-room banter, a private conversation that took place many years ago," Trump said in a statement following the revelations.

Was it, though? On one hand, you've got the producers of "Access Hollywood," who fired Billy Bush for merely participating in that very discussion; dozens professional athletes asserting that, no, that's not at all what locker rooms are like; not to mention the dozens of women who have come forward and accused Trump of doing pretty much exactly what he described. On the other hand, you have the word of Donald Trump, a dude who lies constantly.

Tough call, I guess.  

5. I knew it was wrong, but no one complained, so how wrong could it have been?

"Toward the end of my time at ABC News, I recognized I had a problem," journalist Mark Halperin said in a statement responding to allegations he had sexually harassed multiple women during his tenure at the network. "No one had sued me, no one had filed a human resources complaint against me, no colleague had confronted me. But I didn’t need a call from HR to know that I was a selfish, immature person who was behaving in a manner that had to stop."

Of course, Halperin "knew" that what he was doing was wrong in the same way that his victims likely "knew" that going to human resources to complain about their boss would get them sidelined, fired, or branded as a troublemaker. That power imbalance allows Halperin to attempt to have it both ways: pretending to take full responsibility of the allegations while slyly implying that the women he harassed share the blame for not speaking up sooner or louder.

6. I'm too old and infirm to be a threat, and it was a joke anyway.

George H.W. Bush. Photo by David J. Phillip - Pool/Getty Images.

After multiple women came forward to accuse former President George H.W. Bush of groping them while posing for photos, the elder statesman did something few accused predators have the integrity to do: He admitted it.

Still, as drafted by his spokesperson, his statement-slash-confession seemed to carry more than a whiff of an implication that his victims were needlessly slandering a harmless, disabled, old American hero:

"To try to put people at ease, the president routinely tells the same joke — and on occasion, he has patted women’s rears in what he intended to be a good-natured manner."

And while it's true that Bush is in his 90s and his arms aren't as flexible as they used to be, a pat is different than a squeeze — and if someone squeezes your ass, you know. Not to mention, this explanation would appear to be contradicted by new reports that a less old and less infirm Bush was, apparently, no less inclined to grope the women (and girls, in some cases) standing next to him in photos.

7. I made them stars, and this is how they repay me?!

For some serial abusers, getting a woman her dream job apparently means assuming sexual ownership over her forever and always in exchange. Consider Roger Ailes, who reportedly made a series of unwelcome overtures to former Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly, even repeatedly attempting to kiss her in his office. The excuse he gave, framed as a furious denial, attempts to marshal other, generous actions as evidence to why he couldn't or wouldn't have engaged in misconduct.

"I worked tirelessly to promote and advance [Megyn Kelly’s] career, as Megyn herself admitted to Charlie Rose. Watch that interview and then decide for yourself," Ailes said. As is commonly the case, Kelly wasn't close to alone in her accusations among the women hired by Ailes. Since former Fox anchor Gretchen Carlson launched her lawsuit against her ex-boss, more than 20 women have come forward with similar allegations.

For others, that imagined control extends to merely pretending to get women jobs. That was, allegedly, the longtime MO of director James Toback, who is accused of inviting over 200 women to professional meetings only to proposition and, occasionally, assault them once in private. Toback put his denial even more aggressively:

"The idea that I would offer a part to anyone for any other reason than that he or she was gonna be the best of anyone I could find is so disgusting to me. And anyone who says it is a lying c*cksucker or c*nt or both."

8. I'm trying to be a good guy now, and I respect the hell out of women, so let's just wipe the slate clean.

A popular excuse, especially among various left-of-center men of Hollywood and the media, mixes a nod to contrition with a subtle appeal to tribal loyalty: "I may have been a jerk once," the argument goes, "But I'm on the right side of the issues that you care about."

Here's Casey Affleck's response, who reportedly harassed multiple women on the set of "I'm Still Here":  

"There’s really nothing I can do about [the allegations] other than live my life the way I know I live it and to speak to what my own values are and how I try to live by them all the time."

Casey Affleck. Photo by Leon Bennett/Getty Images.

And here's what Dustin Hoffman had to say after he was accused of making inappropriate and lewd comments to a production assistant during "Death of a Salesman":

"I have the utmost respect for women and feel terrible that anything I might have done could have put her in an uncomfortable situation. I am sorry. It is not reflective of who I am."

And here are Leon Weiseltier's words, who allegedly harassed multiple women of a series of years as editor-in-chief of The New Republic:

"The women with whom I worked are smart and good people. I am ashamed to know that I made any of them feel demeaned and disrespected. I assure them that I will not waste this reckoning."

Whether that "reckoning" ever comes is often irrelevant to the alleged abuser. What matters is that enough people believe he's an asset to whatever fight they're fighting, leaving open the possibility that he'll be rehabilitated by his community without having to lift a finger.

9. This is a political ploy by my enemies to ruin me.

Bill O'Reilly. Photo by Ilya S. Savenok/Getty Images.

When in doubt, blame those bastards in the opposition party for trying to tear you down.

"If you look at the totality, this was a hit job — a political and financial hit job," argued Bill O'Reilly, after reports surfaced that he settled an unknown sexual harassment claim for $32 million in addition to allegations that he harassed or abused a string of coworkers during his decade-plus at Fox News.

As a naked appeal to tribal loyalty, it's a nefarious tactic but potentially a good deal more effective than, say, trying to shame your accusers by sharing the thank you notes they wrote you for some unrelated thing or outright blaming God — two things O'Reilly for real tried to do in the wake of allegations against him.

10. This is a political ploy by the media to get clicks and sell papers.

When in even more doubt, blame the fake news for whipping up people's anger and impairing their "objectivity."  

"Brett Ratner vehemently denies the outrageous derogatory allegations that have been reported about him, and we are confident that his name will be cleared once the current media frenzy dies down and people can objectively evaluate the nature of these claims," said the director's spokesperson in a statement responding to allegations that Ratner had engaged in sexual misconduct on set.

Despite Ratner's denial, actor Ellen Page followed up days later with a blistering Facebook post, accusing the director of outing her against her will with an unwelcome, sexually tinged comment. Ratner as of yet hasn't respond to her claim, unmediated by the media such as it was.

11. It was the Russians!

George Takei. Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images.

When in the most doubt, blame Vladimir Putin. As if the allegations against George Takei (which eerily paralleled a story Takei himself told Howard Stern several weeks earlier) weren't upsetting enough, especially given Takei's history of speaking out about the serious issue of sexual harassment, his response could not have been more bizarre:

"A friend sent me this. It is a chart of what Russian bots have been doing to amplify stories containing the allegations against me," Takei wrote, after allegations that he had groped a fellow actor without his consent surfaced. "It’s clear they want to cow me into silence, but do not fear friends. I won’t succumb to that."

12. But what about all the men who are falsely accused?

Of course, not all of those accused of harassment or abuse are guilty, though recent studies peg the incidence of false reports at between a mere 2% to 8%. But while the guilty category is larger by leaps and bounds, that inkling of doubt too often allows alleged harassers and predators to weasel their way into the former.

"No one wants to discourage abuse victims from speaking out, but one must bear in mind that sometimes there are people who are falsely accused and that is also a terribly destructive thing," Woody Allen wrote in The New York Times after his daughter, Dylan Farrow, accused him of sexually assaulting her in the pages of the same paper a week earlier.

When reached for comment on the on the Harvey Weinstein allegations, Allen told the BBC he wished to avoid "a witch-hunt atmosphere" where "every guy in an office who winks at a woman is suddenly having to call a lawyer to defend himself." It's a frame that conflates workplace flirting (potentially harassing behavior in its own right) with Weinstein's alleged pattern of coercion and assault or, perhaps, his own by association.

13. No comment, through a lawyer.

Rather than offer an excuse, which can be its own form of admission, some alleged abusers simply choose to say nothing and hope the accusation goes away. That's what Bill Clinton did in response to claims that he raped then-nursing home operator Juanita Brodderick in a hotel after luring her there with the promise of a professional meeting. First, Clinton's attorney called the allegations "absolutely false." Later, Clinton himself doubled down.

"My counsel has made a statement about the ... issue, and I have nothing to add to it," the then-president told the Washington Post.

14. I'm a sick man.

Anthony Weiner. Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images.

Of course, when the allegations become impossible to deny, some abusers see no option beyond making a full-throated, self-abasing confession. Anthony Weiner did this after pleading guilty to "transferring obscene material to a minor."

"This fall, I came to grips for the first time with the depths of my sickness. I had hit bottom," he said in court. "I entered intensive treatment, found the courage to take a moral inventory of my defects, and began a program of recovery and mental health treatment that I continue to follow every day."

"I accept full responsibility for my conduct," he continued. "I have a sickness, but I do not have an excuse. I apologize to everyone I have hurt. I apologize to the teenage girl, whom I mistreated so badly. I am committed to making amends to all those I have harmed. Thank you."

Weiner certainly isn't the first prominent accused predator to claim to be broken. Harvey Weinstein checked himself into rehab for sex addiction after allegations against him surfaced. Kevin Spacey did the same some weeks later. Weiner himself previously had done a stint at rehab. But while Weiner's statement completely acknowledges the scope of his wrongdoing, it nonetheless contains an excuse. In some way, it implies that the former congressman's sickness mitigates the harm his actions caused or, at the very least, absolves him of some of the blame.

It's evidence that even the best, most clinical excuse is substandard at best.

Which is why the most reasonable excuse might just be:

15. I have no excuse.

On Nov. 1, former NPR news chief Michael Oreskes stepped down in the wake of allegations that he had harassed multiple women on the job. His acknowledgement was direct and, notably, didn't offer an explanation for his behavior.

"I am deeply sorry to the people I hurt. My behavior was wrong and inexcusable, and I accept full responsibility."

Apologizing unconditionally doesn't make it all better. It doesn't restore the careers of the women Oreskes' behavior likely sidelined, marginalized, or ended. And it doesn't provide a quicker, smoother path to forgiveness. Doing so merely acknowledges what should by now be obvious.

When it comes to harassing or abusing the people who work for you, depend on you, admire you, or simply those who are around you, there is no excuse.

guitar, learning a skill, neuroscience, music, exposure, passive exposure, gardening

A woman learning how to play guitar.

Learning a new skill, such as playing an instrument, gardening, or picking up a new language, takes a lot of time and practice, whether that means scale training, learning about native plants, or using flashcards to memorize new words. To improve through practice, you have to perform the task repeatedly and receive feedback so you know whether you’re doing it correctly. Is my pitch correct? Did my geraniums bloom? Is my pronunciation understandable?

However, a new study by researchers at the Institute of Neuroscience at the University of Oregon shows that you can speed up these processes by adding a third element to practice and feedback: passive exposure. The good news is that passive exposure requires minimal effort and is enjoyable.


"Active learning of a... task requires both expending effort to perform the task and having access to feedback about task performance," the study authors explained. "Passive exposure to sensory stimuli, on the other hand, is relatively effortless and does not require feedback about performance."


woman reading, woman book, young woman, studying, new skills A woman reading a book.via Canva/Photos

How to pick up new skills faster?

So, if you’re learning to play the blues on guitar, listen to plenty of Howlin’ Wolf or Robert Johnson throughout the day. If you’re learning to cook, keep the Food Network on TV in the background to absorb some great culinary advice. Learning to garden? Take the time to notice the flora and fauna in your neighborhood or make frequent trips to your local botanical garden.

If you’re learning a new language, watch plenty of TV and films in the language you are learning. The scientists add that auditory learning is especially helpful, so listen to plenty of audiobooks or podcasts on the subject you’re learning about.

But, of course, you also have to be actively learning the skill as well by practicing your guitar for the recommended hours each day or by taking a class in languages. Passive exposure won't do the work for you, but it's a fantastic way to pick up things more quickly. Further, passive exposure keeps the new skill you're learning top-of-mind, so you're probably more likely to actively practice it.

What is passive exposure?

Researchers discovered the tremendous benefits of passive exposure after studying a group of mice. They trained them to find water by using various sounds to give positive or negative feedback, like playing a game of “hot or cold.” Some mice were passively exposed to these sounds when they weren't looking for water. Those who received this additional passive exposure and those who received active training learned to find the water reward more quickly.

gardening, woman gardening, gardening shears, leaning gardening, weeds A woman tending to her garden.via Canva/Photos


“Our results suggest that, in mice and in humans, a given performance threshold can be achieved with relatively less effort by combining low-effort passive exposure with active training,” James Murray, a neuroscientist who led the study, told University of Oregon News. “This insight could be helpful for humans learning an instrument or a second language, though more work will be needed to better understand how this applies to more complex tasks and how to optimize training schedules that combine passive exposure with active training.”

The one drawback to this study was that it was conducted on mice, not humans. However, recent studies on humans have found similar results, such as in sports. If you visualize yourself excelling at the sport or mentally rehearse a practice routine, it can positively affect your actual performance. Showing, once again, that when it comes to picking up a new skill, exposure is key.

The great news about the story is that, in addition to giving people a new way to approach learning, it’s an excuse for us to enjoy the things we love even more. If you enjoy listening to blues music so much that you decided to learn for yourself, it’s another reason to make it an even more significant part of your life.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

This article originally appeared last year.

Alisha Michele, Barbie, funeral, viral video, AMPx3, Azariah, Amari
Photo Credit: Alisha Michele, Instagram

Azariah sings at her doll's "funeral."

When Alisha Michele picked up her phone to record her 5-year-old daughter Azariah singing at a Barbie's funeral in 2021, she couldn't have imagined the places their family would go. Sure, she knew the whole family (herself and her two kids) were ultra talented, musically, but that doesn't always translate to fandom.

Just recently, Alisha (@Alishahasfavor) was digging through old videos and posted a "Barbie funeral" online, garnering millions of likes and tens of thousands of comments on an Instagram Reel. The chyron reads, "One of my daughter's dolls passed and she had to sing at the funeral." Realizing that obviously her kids are talented, Michele also noted the humor of it all. "I'm so glad she's done playing with dolls because somebody was killing them off. Just laugh with me."


In the clip, one can see a young Azariah in a yellow suit jacket, standing stoically as a doll (dressed similarly) lays in a makeshift "casket" made out of an Air Jordan shoe. Other dolls are seated in plastic chairs with an arm weight standing in as a podium.

Her then 9-year-old brother, Amari, stands behind her wearing purple "deacon" gloves that look suspiciously like dish gloves. As the organ music heats up, he can't help but giggle while Azariah holds what appears to be a flashlight and sings her little heart out.

There are 2.3 million likes and over 60,000 comments on Instagram. Many are incredibly supportive of how outrageously funny and clever it all was. One writes, "Bro in deacon gloves. The Jordan casket. Her suit matching the casket. The weight as the podium for Pastor Ken." Another adds, "Not people at the service with crop tops and no shirt."

Another notes how well attended the funeral was, writing, "The service was PACKED."

And some are just impressed by how well put together everyone looked. "What a beautiful service!! And look at sista Gloria with them new purple highlights," they shared.

It's not surprising how well Azariah can sing. The family are part of a music trio called AMPx3. Merely four years after this clip was shot, their group "got discovered" after a clip of their music went viral.

Upworthy had a chance to chat with Alisha, who gave a little more context about her kids (now 10 and 14). "We went viral in Jan of 2025 singing songs while my son played the keyboard. It caught the attention of a lot of people, including Tamron Hall, and she invited them to be on her show on the "Little Dreamers" segment, where they performed our original song 'Your Name' by AMPx3, which is our group name. All of our initials are A M P."

Azariah and Amari sing an original song on the Tamron Hall Show. www.youtube.com, Rickey Smiley

The kids are still doing incredibly well. Alisha shares, "Azariah is a 5th-grade honor roll student. She is a cheerleader and an amazing singer. Her brother Amari is an 8th-grade straight-A star football player who is in advanced band playing the trombone, and he taught himself to play the keyboard. No formal lessons as of yet."

And as for Alisha, she is going places too. "I am a single mother who battled alcohol addiction for many years, but I will celebrate 14 months of sobriety 2/16/2026. I have written an e-book that is for sale on our website, titled Crowned In Clarity. It’s about becoming the sober woman and mom you were meant to be."

Pets

Vet demonstrates 'squish the cat' method of safe cat handling in delightfully helpful video

There's a reason Dr. Burstyn's "How to pick up a cat" video has been viewed 23 million times.

cats, pets, cat handling, veterinarian, feline behavior

Handling a cat may seem like a delicate matter, but being delicate isn't actually the way to go.

If you've ever tried to make a cat do something it doesn't want to do, you've likely experienced the terror that a cat's wrath can invoke. Our cute, cuddly feline friends may be small, but the razor blades on their feet are no joke when they decide to utilize them. Even cats who love us can get spicy if we try to manhandle them, so we can imagine how things will go with cats who don't know us well. But sometimes it's necessary to handle a cat even if it's resistant to the idea.

This is where Vancouver veterinarian Dr. Uri Burstyn comes in. His "How to pick up a cat like a pro" video, in which he demonstrates a few ways of picking up and handling a cat, has been viewed over 23 million times since he shared it in 2019. Unlike many viral videos, it's not humorous and nothing outrageous happens, but the combo of Burstyn's calm demeanor and his repeated instructions to "squish that cat" has endeared him to the masses.


- YouTube www.youtube.com

The video truly is helpful; he shows the ways to pick up a cat that make them feel the most secure using his cats, one-year-old Claudia and 14-year-old Mr. Pirate. He explains that cats spook very easily and it's best to introduce yourself to them gently. Let them sniff your fingers, keeping your fingers curled in, and once they've sniffed you, you can often give them a light rub on the cheek or under the chin.

Picking them up is a different story. The reason many cats will claw or scratch you when you try to pick them up is because they feel unsupported or unsafe, so they'll scramble around trying to get some footing. Burstyn shows how he picks up Claudia with one hand under the chest and one hand under her abdomen. If he needs to carry her around, he squishes her into his body so she feels "nice and supported." He may even put a hand under her front paws.

cats, pets, cat handling, veterinarian, feline behavior Cats can be finicky about how they're held. Photo credit: Canva

Then came the best part of the video: "Squish That Cat"

"Now if we do have a cat who's trying to get away from us?" Burstyn said. "We always squish that cat. If you're trying to hold the cat down, whether it's to trim their nails or to give them a pill, or whether you just want to have a cat not run off for a moment, squish that cat. All you need to know about cat restraint is to squish that cat."

Burstyn explains that cats generally feel very secure being squished, even if they're really scared.

"Sometimes cats come to me in the clinic, and they're quite afraid," he said. "And you just gently squish them, and they'll sit there and kind of not hurt themselves, not hurt us. Just hang out and let us do our thing."

He demonstrated putting a towel over the cat, explaining, "If you have a towel handy, this is one of the best cat restraint tools around. You can just throw a towel on the catty and squish her with the towel, that way they won't get a claw into you if they are scrambling about a bit. Very safe and gentle, and generally cats are very, very happy to be squished like that."

cats, pets, cat handling, veterinarian, feline behavior Squish that cat. Photo credit: Canva

Dr. Burstyn also showed how to do a "football hold," tucking the cat under your arm with them facing backwards. "So this is kind of an emergency way if you really need to carry a cat somewhere in a hurry," he said. Scooping up Claudia, he explained, "Little head's under your arm, butt in your hand, and you squish her tight to your body. And with that little football carry, you can basically hold a cat very securely and very safely, because it's really hard for them to rake you with their hind legs."

If you're worried about over-squishing your cat, Dr. Burnstyn says don't. "You don't have to worry about hurting a cat," he said. "They're very, very tough little beasts. You know, just squishing them against your body's never going to do them any harm. In fact, they tend to feel more safe and secure when they're being held tightly."

Dr. Burnstyn also demonstrated how to pick up and set down a "shoulder cat" who insists on climbing onto people's shoulders and hanging out there, as Mr. Pirate does. It's highly entertaining, as Mr. Pirate is a big ol' chonky kitty.


@yozron

she loves my shoulders i guess #catcore #kittendad #kittensoftiktok #cat #fyp

People in the comments loved Dr. Burnstyn's demonstration, with several dubbing him the Bob Ross of veterinary medicine. Even people who don't have cats said they watched the whole video, and many loved Claudia and Mr. Pirate as well.

"This is just proof that cats are liquid."

"12/10 cat. Excellent squishability."

"So essentially, cats love hugs? That's the most wonderful thing i've heard all day."

"This cat is so well mannered and looks educated."

"Mr Pirate is an absolute unit."

"S q u i s h . T h a t . C a t ."

"I need 'Squish that cat' shirt.

"Dang, that actually helped with my female cat. She has been through at least two owners before me and had some bad expriences which obviously resulted in trust issues. She has now been with me for two years and it had gotten loads better, but she still did not want me to hold her. Normally I simply would have let her be, but for vet visits and such it was not an ideal situation. But then I saw this video and tried to squish the cat. And she loves it! She is turning into quite the snuggly bug. Thank you!"

So there you go. When all else fails, squish that cat and see what happens.

You can follow Dr. Burstyn on YouTube at Helpful Vancouver Vet.


Parenting

A Millennial mom shared that she is raising 'soft' kids. Fellow parents have lots of thoughts.

"Just because they're soft and kind, doesn't mean they'll never push through."

Millennials, Millennial, Millennial parents, Millennial parenting, soft kids, raising soft kids, Millennials with kids

A mother and her child play together.

Millennial parents led the charge with gentle parenting, a sharp turn from their Baby Boomer parents' approach. The undeniable tension between how the two generations parent (and grandparent) continues to play out.

A Millennial mom on Reddit caused a stir among fellow Millennial parents after sharing that she is choosing to raise "soft" kids. In her heartfelt post, she explained that her goal as a parent is to do things completely different from how she was raised.


"I'm aware I occasionally do too much coddling. But I was rarely coddled," she wrote. "I grew up in a codependent home where the Matriarch always got what she wanted and my feelings didn't matter. The female elders were always priority. I lived in fight or flight for the first thirty some years of my life. It's taken over twenty years of therapy to undo all the toxicity I learned from my family."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Instead, she is choosing to raise her kids in a different dynamic, with the goal of "soft, thoughtful, loving compassionate kids."

"I'm raising kids that listen to their bodies," she added. "Yes I'm raising kids that are in tune with their emotions and ask for mental health days. I'm also raising kids that will make compassionate and kind partners. Ones that will listen, hold their partners and care for them when they're done."

The Millennial mom also addressed how her approach to gentle parenting may be viewed as extreme compared to previous generations who parented more harshly:

"Why would we want to be raising hard kids like they had to on the prairie? Just because they're soft and kind, doesn't mean they'll never push through. Literally everything in life is about balance and moderation. Even too much water will kill you. So raise those soft kind kids, but make sure they aren't quitters who never push through."

@thedailytay

GENTLE HANDS. 🙃🫶🏻🤭❤️ #fyp #millennialsoftiktok #momsoftiktok #gentleparenting #parentsoftiktok #foryoupag #comedyvideo

One example of how her parenting approach has paid off came when she asked her teenage son to load the dishwasher instead of playing video games after explaining that she'd had a hard week. His response was full of empathy: "Just because I don't want to do something doesn't mean I can't. You've had a hard day and it's your birthday week. I can load the dishwasher."

Her Millennial parenting perspective garnered a mix of supportive and critical responses.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

People in support of raising "soft" kids

"I don't think Millennials will be blamed for raising 'soft children.' Hell, Millennials were always considered soft and entitled anyway so I'm not sure what's changed other than every previous generation thinks they're tougher. What I think the issues will be are more 'parent by iPad', overconsumption of SM, isolation, inability to handle conflict or regulate emotions, etc. But this isn't unique to Millennials. I'm glad your parenting skills are paying off. Good for you." - mcsmith610

"'Raising soft kids' and 'soft parenting' are not the same thing. You can raise 'soft kids' who understand respect, boundaries and responsibilities, who aren't little narcissist sh*ts." - Other_Bus9590

"You mean considerate thoughtful kids? There is nothing 'soft' about that. Our society is in desperate need of more people like this. Those sound like good neighbors to me." - The_Playbook88

"I know you are using 'soft' to make a point, which is that from the point of view of stoicism, showing weakness and talking about feelings makes a person less capable. However you are clearly raising emotionally intelligent humans who are capable and able to weather the difficulties of modern life. The more parents like you, the better." - Stratix

"Yeah, I figure the world is going to do plenty of 'toughening up' that it seems backwards for a parent to try to preemptively 'toughen them up'. I want my kids to be resilient, not 'hard'. I treat them with kindness and love (as best I can), and when stuff out in the world is hard, I'm there to pick them up and build their confidence in themselves that it's all stuff they can handle, even if it's hard and hurts sometimes. There's also a huge difference between being overly permissive and being 'soft' in the sense of the emotional affect you display. I have firm boundaries, enforce consequences for actions, etc., but to the eye of older generations I would probably be considered very soft on them." - ReturnOfBigChungus

"We treat our children like they are people, then get surprised when they turn around and ALSO treat us like human beings. It's happened to me before, also. I keep waiting for the 'rebellious phase.' I think maybe Boomers were just bad parents, and they made it way more difficult than it had to be." - Aggressive_Mouse_581

"Like others have said, soft doesn't mean weak. They're kind, compassionate and thoughtful. That's how I'm trying to raise my son too. He's not afraid of emotion and if he sees a need he steps in, often without being asked. You're doing your best and seems like you're raising pretty great kids." - MoonlitMousey13

People critical of raising "soft" kids

"The problem with soft kids is the world isn't soft, and if they are they will get taken advantage of, or be unreliable when things get tough to rarely do life go smoothly 100% of the time." - Piemaster113

"That and teaching them that sometimes you don't always do what you want and it's ok to be uncomfortable within reason. Like the post about the dude taking many mental health days and his manager being upset. Like sometimes you just gotta go." - MembershipScary1737

"You can be both 'hard' and emotionally intelligent. I'm not sure anyone benefits from coddling in the long run, certainly not your child. My goal is self sufficient and kind people. I don't see how you can get both (or either) if them reluctantly loading the dishwasher once after you asked is a win." - WingShooter_28ga

"You are conflating soft with kind. I've met plenty of hard people that are also kind (most farmers would drop everything to help a neighbor, but are tougher than a coffin nail). While it's great that you have conscientious kids. Being conscientious isn't a 'soft' trait." - rjwyonch

"These kids have a strong chance of being devoured by a neurotic demanding partner." - dumbanddumbanddumb

"Nothing wrong with raising soft children. When tossed into the harsh hard realities of the real world though? You will not have helped in that angle." - Intelligent_Road2084

boomer wedding, millennial wedding, 1978 wedding, 2020 wedding, man and bride,  marriage

A Baby Boomer couple and a Millennial couple getting married.

Traditionally, prenuptial agreements were made when one spouse entered the relationship with significantly more money than the other. A wealthy person with a spouse who isn’t expected to contribute much financially to the household would have an agreement to protect their assets in case of a divorce. On the one hand, a prenup protected the wealthy from losing their assets, but on the other, it signaled some mistrust of their spouse. So, for older generations, these arrangements were rare.

However, it’s 2026 and prenups are all the rage, and, for the most part, it isn’t because people want to protect their wealth; it’s that couples want protection from debt. That’s why a recent study by LegalShield found that Millennials (ages 29 to 45) enter into prenuptial agreements 10 times more often than Baby Boomers (ages 60 to 79).


“While marriage is usually based on love, it is now defined by debt,” Warren Schlichting, CEO of LegalShield, said in a press release. “Prenups have become essential protection for young couples facing heavy financial burdens due to the student debt crisis.” The study found that 39% of Millennials, 37% of Gen Xers, and just 4% of Baby Boomers get prenups.

marriage, divorce, lawyers, wedding ring, splitting up, lawyer A husband hands over his wedding ring to his soon-to-be ex-wife.via Canva/Photos

Why are prenuptial agreements so popular with Millennials?

The massive generational swing is driven by the fact that Millennials often carry significant college loan debt, and, in the event of a divorce, couples want those who brought the debt into the relationship to leave with it as well. The study found that 77% of those with student debt say they’d consider a prenup.

Another big reason is that many Millennials stand to inherit a substantial amount from their Baby Boomer parents. “Millennials are pragmatic, financially literate, and far more open to planning than generations prior ever were, treating prenups not as a prediction of divorce but as a healthy conversation about expectations and long-term stability. And layered on top of this is the largest intergenerational wealth transfer in history, over $80 trillion passing from boomer parents to their millennial children, which makes it even more important for couples and families to protect inheritances and financial gifts,” Julia Rodgers, CEO of HelloPrenup, told Newsweek.

marriage, divorce, lawyers, splitting up, divorce attorney, couple A couple talks to a lawyer.via Canva/Photos

Millennials get married much later in life than Baby Boomers

Millennials also marry much later in life than their Boomer parents, and they are also more likely to have a college degree. This means they have many more working years behind them when they first tie the knot and may have developed a substantial savings or retirement plan.

Also, culture has changed a lot for Millennials. Prenuptial agreements are now being used by content creators to protect their digital assets from being taken in a divorce. Sixty-two percent of Millennials say a prenup should cover YouTube channels or podcasts created together. They also want to protect their pets. Fifty-one percent of Millennials believe that custody of shared pets should be covered as well.

The rise in Millennials getting prenups is really a mixed bag. On the one hand, it’s because the younger generation is saddled with more debt, but in many cases, that is because they are better educated. The rise in prenuptial agreements is also due to their greater access to generational money than their Baby Boomer parents had. This cultural shift has also drastically changed people’s views of prenuptial agreements, from an attempt by one partner to protect their wealth to a mutual agreement that, in many cases, is about safeguarding each other from debt.