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Let's break down 15 terrible excuses from accused sexual harassers and predators.

The world is currently being treated to a slow-rolling reveal of the alleged bad behavior of some of its most powerful men.

And inevitably, with bad behavior comes excuses.

It's no surprise that prominent accused harassers and predators, once cornered, would try to wriggle out of accusations of sexual conduct and abuse. What is surprising is the variety in their attempts to justify their alleged behavior. Excuses by way of apology. Excuses by way of confession. Excuses by way of firm, uncompromising denial. All attempting to convey how they didn't do what they've been accused of or that what they did do made sense to them in the moment. In some way, they're the most revealing window into the personal, social, and cultural forces that enable their alleged misdeeds.


Excuses, ultimately, reflect our beliefs about what's just and fair. Which raises some questions: Do any of them actually put the behavior in a context that makes it, in some distressing way, understandable? Do they ever work? And what does it say about us if we believe them?

Here are just some of the excuses we know they've tried:

1. I'm from a different era, and this strange, new culture is confusing to me.

To date, more than 50 women have accused Hollywood mega-producer Harvey Weinstein of engaging in a decades-long pattern of abusive behavior ranging from harassment to sexual coercion to rape. But lest "what he supposedly did" is coloring your impression of him, Weinstein wants you to remember he's not an evil man: He's just a recovering hippie!

"I came of age in the '60s and '70s when all the rules about behavior and workplaces were different," Weinstein wrote in a statement. "That was the culture then."

Harvey Weinstein. Photo by Rich Polk/Getty Images.

Of course. Who doesn't remember the '60s and '70s? Flower power! Free love! Cornering women in a hotel room and trying to force them to watch you shower! Though the millions of other people who made it through those turbulent decades without harassing or abusing anyone — or threatening them if they told anyone and then hiring ex-spies to help cover it up — might remember those decades slightly differently, Weinstein simply refuses to let the swingin' spirit die. No matter the decade, his behavior is less "groovy" and more "galling."

Weinstein's excuse depends on eliding two wildly different notions: (1) That America failed to take workplace harassment and sexual abuse seriously in the '60s and '70s, and (2) that it was OK back then — or perpetrated by anyone reared back then — as a result. While the first assertion is undeniable, the second is self-serving nonsense. Just because a behavior was ignored, tolerated, or even encouraged doesn't make it remotely close to excusable.

2. Hey, it's not like I didn't ask!

Thus wrote comedian Louis C.K. in a widely praised (and widely derided) statement confirming a New York Times report that he had masturbated in front of almost half a dozen unwilling women.

"At the time, I said to myself that what I did was O.K. because I never showed a woman my dick without asking first, which is ... true. But what I learned later in life, too late, is that when you have power over another person, asking them to look at your dick isn’t a question. It’s a predicament for them."

Some might argue C.K.'s approach forgoes the most critical part of consent: waiting for a response. Still others might assert that without getting a "yes" or a "no" back, there's no point in asking at all. Viewed that way, C.K.'s logic is baffling at best, and it's both miraculous and frightening that he somehow got to the age of 50 believing the world works like this.

More frightening still, scattered segments from C.K.'s TV show and various stand-up specials in which the comedian acknowledges viewing masturbation as a form of control or tool of revenge suggest that he did indeed know the effect his behavior had on others — and simply didn't care.

3. The closet made me do it. Also, I was drunk.

Ah, alcohol. Absolver of all responsibility. Whether knocking over a glass vase, texting your roommates at 4 a.m., or sexually assaulting teenagers, some men apparently believe that acknowledging that you were blasted when it happened is a one-way express ticket to Forgiveness Town. That reportedly includes Kevin Spacey, who actor Anthony Rapp says drunkenly attempted to force himself on him when Rapp was 14.

"If I did behave then as he describes, I owe him the sincerest apology for what would have been deeply inappropriate drunken behavior, and I am sorry for the feelings he describes having carried with him all these years," Spacey wrote in a statement responding contritely to the alleged incident. Since the story of Rapp's accusation broke, over a dozen more accusers have come forward.

Kevin Spacey. Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images.

To make matters worse for everyone but himself, Spacey used the space of his response to come out as a gay man — all but implying a connection between his alleged predation and his closeted sexuality. It reads as a desperate attempt to buy a modicum of sympathy at the cost of casting suspicion on millions of innocent LGBTQ Americans.

4. It's just what guys do.

Donald Trump's now-infamous comments about sexually assaulting women — "Grab 'em by the pussy" and "I moved on her like a bitch" — have largely disappeared down the memory hole, thanks to the steadily strengthening storm of scandals swirling around the now-president. Still, it's tough to forget how the former reality show host became president in the first place: by managing to convince a depressing percentage of Americans that his unscripted admission was just a case of "boys being boys."

"This was locker-room banter, a private conversation that took place many years ago," Trump said in a statement following the revelations.

Was it, though? On one hand, you've got the producers of "Access Hollywood," who fired Billy Bush for merely participating in that very discussion; dozens professional athletes asserting that, no, that's not at all what locker rooms are like; not to mention the dozens of women who have come forward and accused Trump of doing pretty much exactly what he described. On the other hand, you have the word of Donald Trump, a dude who lies constantly.

Tough call, I guess.  

5. I knew it was wrong, but no one complained, so how wrong could it have been?

"Toward the end of my time at ABC News, I recognized I had a problem," journalist Mark Halperin said in a statement responding to allegations he had sexually harassed multiple women during his tenure at the network. "No one had sued me, no one had filed a human resources complaint against me, no colleague had confronted me. But I didn’t need a call from HR to know that I was a selfish, immature person who was behaving in a manner that had to stop."

Of course, Halperin "knew" that what he was doing was wrong in the same way that his victims likely "knew" that going to human resources to complain about their boss would get them sidelined, fired, or branded as a troublemaker. That power imbalance allows Halperin to attempt to have it both ways: pretending to take full responsibility of the allegations while slyly implying that the women he harassed share the blame for not speaking up sooner or louder.

6. I'm too old and infirm to be a threat, and it was a joke anyway.

George H.W. Bush. Photo by David J. Phillip - Pool/Getty Images.

After multiple women came forward to accuse former President George H.W. Bush of groping them while posing for photos, the elder statesman did something few accused predators have the integrity to do: He admitted it.

Still, as drafted by his spokesperson, his statement-slash-confession seemed to carry more than a whiff of an implication that his victims were needlessly slandering a harmless, disabled, old American hero:

"To try to put people at ease, the president routinely tells the same joke — and on occasion, he has patted women’s rears in what he intended to be a good-natured manner."

And while it's true that Bush is in his 90s and his arms aren't as flexible as they used to be, a pat is different than a squeeze — and if someone squeezes your ass, you know. Not to mention, this explanation would appear to be contradicted by new reports that a less old and less infirm Bush was, apparently, no less inclined to grope the women (and girls, in some cases) standing next to him in photos.

7. I made them stars, and this is how they repay me?!

For some serial abusers, getting a woman her dream job apparently means assuming sexual ownership over her forever and always in exchange. Consider Roger Ailes, who reportedly made a series of unwelcome overtures to former Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly, even repeatedly attempting to kiss her in his office. The excuse he gave, framed as a furious denial, attempts to marshal other, generous actions as evidence to why he couldn't or wouldn't have engaged in misconduct.

"I worked tirelessly to promote and advance [Megyn Kelly’s] career, as Megyn herself admitted to Charlie Rose. Watch that interview and then decide for yourself," Ailes said. As is commonly the case, Kelly wasn't close to alone in her accusations among the women hired by Ailes. Since former Fox anchor Gretchen Carlson launched her lawsuit against her ex-boss, more than 20 women have come forward with similar allegations.

For others, that imagined control extends to merely pretending to get women jobs. That was, allegedly, the longtime MO of director James Toback, who is accused of inviting over 200 women to professional meetings only to proposition and, occasionally, assault them once in private. Toback put his denial even more aggressively:

"The idea that I would offer a part to anyone for any other reason than that he or she was gonna be the best of anyone I could find is so disgusting to me. And anyone who says it is a lying c*cksucker or c*nt or both."

8. I'm trying to be a good guy now, and I respect the hell out of women, so let's just wipe the slate clean.

A popular excuse, especially among various left-of-center men of Hollywood and the media, mixes a nod to contrition with a subtle appeal to tribal loyalty: "I may have been a jerk once," the argument goes, "But I'm on the right side of the issues that you care about."

Here's Casey Affleck's response, who reportedly harassed multiple women on the set of "I'm Still Here":  

"There’s really nothing I can do about [the allegations] other than live my life the way I know I live it and to speak to what my own values are and how I try to live by them all the time."

Casey Affleck. Photo by Leon Bennett/Getty Images.

And here's what Dustin Hoffman had to say after he was accused of making inappropriate and lewd comments to a production assistant during "Death of a Salesman":

"I have the utmost respect for women and feel terrible that anything I might have done could have put her in an uncomfortable situation. I am sorry. It is not reflective of who I am."

And here are Leon Weiseltier's words, who allegedly harassed multiple women of a series of years as editor-in-chief of The New Republic:

"The women with whom I worked are smart and good people. I am ashamed to know that I made any of them feel demeaned and disrespected. I assure them that I will not waste this reckoning."

Whether that "reckoning" ever comes is often irrelevant to the alleged abuser. What matters is that enough people believe he's an asset to whatever fight they're fighting, leaving open the possibility that he'll be rehabilitated by his community without having to lift a finger.

9. This is a political ploy by my enemies to ruin me.

Bill O'Reilly. Photo by Ilya S. Savenok/Getty Images.

When in doubt, blame those bastards in the opposition party for trying to tear you down.

"If you look at the totality, this was a hit job — a political and financial hit job," argued Bill O'Reilly, after reports surfaced that he settled an unknown sexual harassment claim for $32 million in addition to allegations that he harassed or abused a string of coworkers during his decade-plus at Fox News.

As a naked appeal to tribal loyalty, it's a nefarious tactic but potentially a good deal more effective than, say, trying to shame your accusers by sharing the thank you notes they wrote you for some unrelated thing or outright blaming God — two things O'Reilly for real tried to do in the wake of allegations against him.

10. This is a political ploy by the media to get clicks and sell papers.

When in even more doubt, blame the fake news for whipping up people's anger and impairing their "objectivity."  

"Brett Ratner vehemently denies the outrageous derogatory allegations that have been reported about him, and we are confident that his name will be cleared once the current media frenzy dies down and people can objectively evaluate the nature of these claims," said the director's spokesperson in a statement responding to allegations that Ratner had engaged in sexual misconduct on set.

Despite Ratner's denial, actor Ellen Page followed up days later with a blistering Facebook post, accusing the director of outing her against her will with an unwelcome, sexually tinged comment. Ratner as of yet hasn't respond to her claim, unmediated by the media such as it was.

11. It was the Russians!

George Takei. Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images.

When in the most doubt, blame Vladimir Putin. As if the allegations against George Takei (which eerily paralleled a story Takei himself told Howard Stern several weeks earlier) weren't upsetting enough, especially given Takei's history of speaking out about the serious issue of sexual harassment, his response could not have been more bizarre:

"A friend sent me this. It is a chart of what Russian bots have been doing to amplify stories containing the allegations against me," Takei wrote, after allegations that he had groped a fellow actor without his consent surfaced. "It’s clear they want to cow me into silence, but do not fear friends. I won’t succumb to that."

12. But what about all the men who are falsely accused?

Of course, not all of those accused of harassment or abuse are guilty, though recent studies peg the incidence of false reports at between a mere 2% to 8%. But while the guilty category is larger by leaps and bounds, that inkling of doubt too often allows alleged harassers and predators to weasel their way into the former.

"No one wants to discourage abuse victims from speaking out, but one must bear in mind that sometimes there are people who are falsely accused and that is also a terribly destructive thing," Woody Allen wrote in The New York Times after his daughter, Dylan Farrow, accused him of sexually assaulting her in the pages of the same paper a week earlier.

When reached for comment on the on the Harvey Weinstein allegations, Allen told the BBC he wished to avoid "a witch-hunt atmosphere" where "every guy in an office who winks at a woman is suddenly having to call a lawyer to defend himself." It's a frame that conflates workplace flirting (potentially harassing behavior in its own right) with Weinstein's alleged pattern of coercion and assault or, perhaps, his own by association.

13. No comment, through a lawyer.

Rather than offer an excuse, which can be its own form of admission, some alleged abusers simply choose to say nothing and hope the accusation goes away. That's what Bill Clinton did in response to claims that he raped then-nursing home operator Juanita Brodderick in a hotel after luring her there with the promise of a professional meeting. First, Clinton's attorney called the allegations "absolutely false." Later, Clinton himself doubled down.

"My counsel has made a statement about the ... issue, and I have nothing to add to it," the then-president told the Washington Post.

14. I'm a sick man.

Anthony Weiner. Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images.

Of course, when the allegations become impossible to deny, some abusers see no option beyond making a full-throated, self-abasing confession. Anthony Weiner did this after pleading guilty to "transferring obscene material to a minor."

"This fall, I came to grips for the first time with the depths of my sickness. I had hit bottom," he said in court. "I entered intensive treatment, found the courage to take a moral inventory of my defects, and began a program of recovery and mental health treatment that I continue to follow every day."

"I accept full responsibility for my conduct," he continued. "I have a sickness, but I do not have an excuse. I apologize to everyone I have hurt. I apologize to the teenage girl, whom I mistreated so badly. I am committed to making amends to all those I have harmed. Thank you."

Weiner certainly isn't the first prominent accused predator to claim to be broken. Harvey Weinstein checked himself into rehab for sex addiction after allegations against him surfaced. Kevin Spacey did the same some weeks later. Weiner himself previously had done a stint at rehab. But while Weiner's statement completely acknowledges the scope of his wrongdoing, it nonetheless contains an excuse. In some way, it implies that the former congressman's sickness mitigates the harm his actions caused or, at the very least, absolves him of some of the blame.

It's evidence that even the best, most clinical excuse is substandard at best.

Which is why the most reasonable excuse might just be:

15. I have no excuse.

On Nov. 1, former NPR news chief Michael Oreskes stepped down in the wake of allegations that he had harassed multiple women on the job. His acknowledgement was direct and, notably, didn't offer an explanation for his behavior.

"I am deeply sorry to the people I hurt. My behavior was wrong and inexcusable, and I accept full responsibility."

Apologizing unconditionally doesn't make it all better. It doesn't restore the careers of the women Oreskes' behavior likely sidelined, marginalized, or ended. And it doesn't provide a quicker, smoother path to forgiveness. Doing so merely acknowledges what should by now be obvious.

When it comes to harassing or abusing the people who work for you, depend on you, admire you, or simply those who are around you, there is no excuse.

dance, motherhood, mommy daughter dance, mother daughter relationship, parenting, wholesome
Umi4ika/Youtube

Svetlana Putintseva with her daughter Masha.

In 2005 at only 18 years old, Russian rhythmic gymnast Svetlana Putintseva became a world champion, after which she retired and eventually became a mom. Then, in 2011, Putintseva came out of retirement for one special Gala performance.

Little did anyone know that her then two-year-old daughter named Masha would be the key to making that performance so special.


As the story goes, the young child refused to leave her side that night. But rather than stopping the performance, Putintseva did what so many incredible moms do: she masterfully held space for two different identities.

As we see in the video below, Putintseva simply brought Masha onto the dance floor and incorporated her into the routine—holding and comforting her at times, performing impressive moves while she ran around at others…letting it all become a lively, endearing interaction rather than a rote routine. It became something really touching:

Watch:

Now, a bit of fact-checking as this video has once again started going viral. Despite what many captions say, Putintseva‘s daughter was likely always a planned part of the performance (the tiny leotard is a bit of a giveaway). But that doesn’t really take away from the message behind it: motherhood weaves another soul into one's identity, forever. And one of the biggest lessons it teaches is how to hold someone else steady, all while becoming ourselves.

Every day, moms are engaging in a similar type of “dance”: navigating through the world while guiding and nurturing their little ones. It probably doesn't always feel quite as graceful as what Putintseva put out, and, yet, it is just as beautiful.

dance, motherhood, mommy daughter dance, mother daughter relationship, parenting, wholesome A mother hugging her daughter.Photo credit: Canva

Maybe so many thought it was an improvised moment because improvising is a very real parent superpower. That’s certainly the takeaway we get from some of these lovely comments:

“You cannot control life but you can learn to dance with it. 🤍”

"This is beyond beautiful. 🥲"

“If this isn't a metaphor for motherhood. We improvise so much.”

“A mother’s unconditional love 🥹❤️ She just made my whole month.”

“I do this sometimes while deejaying. My daughter comes up so I hit the slicer and let her chop it up. A few chops and she is happy and goes about her business. 🥰”

“I can see my daughter doing this to me soon whenever I get up on stage on perform. She already stares long and hard at me whenever I am onnstage singing. She doesn't take her eyes off me. Sure she would be running up to stand with me when she starts walking 😂😂 i look forward to it tho”

“Sobbing 😭😭😭😭 As a dancer who hasn’t performed since having a kid, this inspires me in so many ways 🥹🥹 So beautiful and it’s clear that she admires her mom so much 🥰”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Though not much is written on Putintseva following this performance, one blog post says that Masha has followed in her footsteps by getting into rhythmic gymnastics. Maybe it all started with this one performance. ❤️

Wellness

Woman follows '1940s bedtime routine' and can't believe how restful it is

The evening wind-down was elaborate, lengthy, and completely screen-free.

sleep, sleep tips, nighttime routine, 1940s, 1940s nostalgia, women, sleep hacks, bedtime, self-care
Photo credit: Public Domain & Canva

A woman tried a "1940s bedtime routine" and called it a game-changer for her sleep.

The CDC reports that about 15% of adults have trouble sleeping "most days or every day." That number is on the rise, and can be seen in the rapid rise of melatonin usage—up nearly five-fold in the past 20 years or so—and other sleep aids.

There are a lot of modern factors that play a role in difficulty sleeping, from high caffeine consumption to a heavy use of blue-light screens. These, along with high levels of general stress and anxiety, suppress natural melatonin production and make falling and staying asleep a challenge for many people.


One YouTuber decided to take matters into her own hands and try a brand new nighttime routine in order to get better sleep. She borrowed the entire thing from the 1940s.

Hannah, who runs the channel Real Vintage Dolls House, shared in a recent video that she had a "non-existent nighttime routine," and decided to try a routine similar to what the average woman would have done in the 1940s.

sleep, sleep tips, nighttime routine, 1940s, 1940s nostalgia, women, sleep hacks, bedtime, self-care The 1940s were a time of great fear and consternation. But somehow people slept way better. Photo by Unseen Histories on Unsplash

She explains that the 1940s, of course, were a time of great international strife and rationing for the war effort. But even still, people (women, especially) were expected to keep on top of their hygiene and personal appearance.

Many women at the time, Hannah goes on to say, would actually leave the house to work traditionally male jobs during the war. A woman like Hannah may have worked at a shipyard or factory and then returned to a homemaking and child-rearing role at the end of a long day.

For Hannah's experiment, she began with a bath after working hours. Of course, due to rationing, she could only use five inches of water.

From there, Hannah changes into her "night clothes": A set of silk pajamas with matching robe and house slippers. Extremely cozy.

Fascinatingly, after sitting down to brush her hair after washing, she rubs the strands together between her fingers to test for cleanliness. Women at the time would often wash with soap once every two weeks or so, then do another pass with lemon juice or vinegar to strip away the soap residue. If the hair made a squeaking sound when rubbed together, it meant you did a good job, hence the term "squeaky clean." The vintage 1940s nighttime routine then called for a significant amount of time spent brushing the hair. One hundred brushes was a commonly recommended practice at the time.

Hannah then continues following 1940s protocol and cleans her skin with a cleansing cream, plucks her eyebrows, applies Vaseline to her lips, files her nails, and sets her hair in overnight rollers. Men, for their part (if they weren't at war), would likely be reading the paper or listening to the radio while resting after a long day.

Finally, it's time to wind down. Hannah sets a dim light in her room, bundles up under a blanket, then proceeds to knit and read a book before turning out the light for sleep.

"The bedtime routine of this era was a much more thorough and communal ritual than I'm used to. Centered around rest and basic comforts... evenings were quieter, slower, and focused on family connections."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Hannah says she thinks screens are a big reason people today have trouble sleeping, and the experts agree.

"And that's something that I find really interesting, and is likely a huge reason many of us struggle to go to sleep: Mobile phones and televisions. There weren't any," she says. "With fewer distractions, the emphasis was on comfort and quiet. People would actually settle in for a more peaceful and slower transition to sleep. Which probably meant that they got a better nights sleep. And that was a focus. Getting a good night's rest to prepare for the busy day ahead."

Working on a laptop, scrolling on a phone, or even watching television are extremely common before-bed activities in many parts of the world now. But scientists unanimously agree that these habits are harmful to our sleeping habits.

In 2022, the National Sleep Foundation noted, "Light exposure within two hours of bedtime can be disruptive to one’s sleep cycle. That’s because exposure to blue light at night stimulates your brain into thinking it’s earlier in the day. Your brain slows or stops its release of melatonin, making it harder to fall asleep."

Of course, it's not only the screens. Surveys show that about one third of people don't have a consistent bedtime routine at all, and if they do, it's far shorter than what was common in the 1940s (just 21 minutes on average). The long, thorough, completely analog routine demonstrated by Hannah does a lot more than keep your skin moisturized and your hair looking nice. It gradually unwinds you and allows tension, stress, and anxiety to slowly melt away before you attempt to sleep.

Another vintage YouTuber conducted a similar experiment here:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Phones and televisions have made our lives easier and more enjoyable in many ways, and no one would ever yearn for the days of a violent World War. But the data is clear that people are sleeping worse than ever, so there may be some helpful clues we can take from the past.

We may not be able to completely isolate ourselves from the fast-paced society around us, but it's worth considering if we each can't slow down our nighttime routines. Try less screen time, more self-care, and a gentler, slower transition from go-go-go to deep rest for better sleep.

Science

Her groundbreaking theory on the origin of life was rejected 15 times. Then biology proved her right.

Lynn Margulis had the audacity to challenge Darwin. And we're lucky she did.

lynn margulis, lynn margulis symbiosis, biology, scientific breakthroughs, darwin, darwinism, women in science
Facts That Will Blow Your Mind/Facebook

A photo of Lynn Margulis.

Throughout her prolific and distinguished career, biologist Lynn Margulis made several groundbreaking contributions to science that we take for granted as common knowledge today. For example, she championed James E. Lovelock’s “Gaia concept,” which posited that the Earth self-regulates to maintain conditions for life.

But by far, her most notable theory was symbiogenesis. While it was first written off as “strange” and “aesthetically pleasing” but “not compelling,” it would ultimately prevail, and completely rewrite how we viewed the origin of life itself.


In the late 1960s, Margulis wrote a paper titled "On the Origin of Mitosing Cells," that was quite avant-garde. In it, she proposed a theory: that life evolved through organisms merging together to become inseparable.

In essence, cooperation is the driver of life, not competition and domination. This directly went against Darwin’s “survival of the fittest” principle that was considered gospel in scientific circles. Margulis’ paper was rejected by fifteen journals before getting accepted into the Journal of Theoretical Biology.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Time would be on Margulis’ side, however. By the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, research proved that the two major building blocks of plants and animals, chloroplasts and mitochondria were at one time independent bacteria. This solidified the fact that on a biological level, connection trumps autonomy for longevity. And now that fact is written in textbooks, with no real story of the adversity it overcame to get there.

While it is customary for most new scientific theories to be met with criticism, especially those that completely shift the current narrative, many have noted that sexism played a key part in Margulis’ initial lack of acceptance. On more than one occasion, she herself had hinted that women were seen as mothers and wives first, and scientists second. She recalled that while married to fellow scientist Carl Sagan that “Carl would finish his sentence, unperturbed” while she was expected to “handle all the duties of a 1950s housewife, from washing dishes to paying the household bills.”

And yet, Margulis would have other ideas that were controversial that had nothing to do with her gender. Most famously, she did not believe that AIDS was caused by HIV, and instead believed it was cause by a syphilis-causing type of bacteria, despite there already being decades of research proving otherwise. That view was seen as an endorsement of AIDS denialism, which undermined prevention and treatment effort. Then later in life, Margulis became a vocal proponent of 9/11 conspiracy theories suggesting government involvement the in Twin Towers attacks.

And yet, perhaps this is one of those “you gotta take the good with the bad” situations. Margulis’ inherent contrarian nature gave us both these unfounded, even harmful stances, in addition to entirely new paradigms that altered our understanding of life itself.

And if nothing else, it illuminated the need for science to include multiple points of view in order to unlock the truth. It seems life is, after all, about coming together.

youtube, budgeting, budget, saving, money

Bradley, a content creator, saved nearly 90% of his annual income.

You know the feeling. That gut-punch moment when you open a credit card statement or check your loan balance and watch the number refuse to budge. For too many of us, debt doesn't feel like a problem to solve. It feels like a life sentence. But what if the answer isn't chipping away at it dollar by dollar? What if you burn the whole thing down and start over?

Meet Bradley, known online as "Bradley on a Budget." This content creator isn't just avoiding avocado toast or skipping oat milk lattes. He's turned frugality into an art form. A chilling, extreme performance art. In a recent video titled "How much money I saved living extremely frugally this year," Bradley revealed that he saved an astounding $201,369, roughly 85.9% of his total income.


- YouTube youtube.com

Sounds impossible, right? Well, yes. For starters, it means Bradley earned $234,479 in 2025. While his financial transparency is admirable, that level of income simply isn't a reality for most Americans. In 2025, the average individual income was $53,010, placing Bradley in roughly the top 4% of American earners. When you have the luxury of knowing there's money in the bank, living life to the extreme gets a whole lot easier.

Bradley's methods might sound extreme, but there's something worth paying attention to here. Through sheer discipline and a willingness to live differently than most people, he managed to save more than $200,000 in a single year. His approach won't work for everyone, and honestly, it probably shouldn't. Still, it proves an important point: you have more control over your money than you think.

Here's how Bradley did it, and the specific habits that helped him save nearly 90% of his income.

The moment that changed everything

Bradley's story didn't begin with an impressive income. It started in a place many of us know well: deep financial stress. After graduating from the Culinary Institute of America, he earned a prestigious degree and diploma, but he also inherited $130,000 in student loan debt. Out of the Institute, his first job paid $12 an hour.

"My student loan payment was almost half of my monthly income, and I had two choices: I could accept defeat and let this be my life forever, or I could make my situation better," he told People.

He chose the latter. Entering what he describes as "survival mode," Bradley stripped his life down to its barest essentials. There were no financial mentors or wealthy parents to bail him out. Instead, he decided that financial freedom was more valuable than his current comforts.

Years later, that survival mode has evolved into a lifestyle choice. In 2025, despite earning $234,000 from various income streams, he spent just $33,100 to live.

For context, the average American household spends about $6,545 per month, which comes out to approximately $78,535 per year. Of course, that figure reflects household income. If there are two earning adults in a household, that breaks down to about $3,272 per person each month, or $39,268 per year. That's still higher than Bradley's annual spending of $33,100, or about $2,758 per month. And if you could save even $500 a month, wouldn't you?

(For transparency, we're using half of the average household income to approximate individual income in the U.S., according to data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics.)

Step 1: A disciplined approach to groceries

Food is one of the biggest budget busters for families and individuals alike, with Americans spending about 13.7% of their total expenses on food and alcohol. For individuals, that's $5,406 per year, or $451 per month.

In total, Bradley spent just $2,940 on food in 2025.

Broken down, that's about $245 a month, or roughly $60 a week. How the heck does he manage that? A dinner at a nice restaurant can easily cost more than that per person.

The answer is simple. Bradley sticks to a strict routine, cooking all of his meals at home and eating the same simple meals every day. By eliminating variety, he reduces food waste and impulse spending. He knows exactly what he needs, buys only that, and eats every simple bite.

Isn't he a culinary school graduate? Yes. While his diet might seem dull to most, Bradley views it differently. For him, food is fuel, and money saved tastes better than any fancy restaurant meal. In fact, he avoids dining out altogether, calling it "expensive and stupid" if you're trying to save money as aggressively as he does.

Step 2: Car costs are kept to a bare minimum

Anyone who drives knows how quickly car expenses can pile up, from monthly payments and insurance to registration fees and the occasional ticket. Bradley sidesteps most of that by driving an older car he's already paid off and maintaining it carefully. In 2025, his total car-related costs, including oil changes, registration, and a taillight repair, came to just $264.

Insurance is a necessary evil, and Bradley paid $1,014 for the year, or about $85 a month. He notes that he saves money by choosing six-month bundles instead of paying monthly premiums. He also spent roughly $780 on gas. For comparison, the U.S. Energy Information Administration (EIA) estimates that the average individual spends about $2,148 on gas each year, or roughly $179 a month. Of course, that figure can vary widely depending on where you live.

@baddie.brad Crazy right? People think small purchases don’t matter when actually they add up to A LOT over time.
♬ Thrill of the Night (feat. Nile Rodgers) - Sébastien Tellier & Slayyyter & Nile Rodgers

In total, Bradley spent $2,058 on car-related costs. By driving a paid-off vehicle and using it only when necessary, he's able to keep his transportation expenses low.

Step 3: Traveling the world on a dime?

You might think someone who banks 90% of their income spends weekends in a dark room, eating beans straight from a can. But Bradley actually traveled quite a bit in 2025, taking five trips in total, including a week in London.

The shocker? He spent $1,854 across all five trips.

Pause. Reality check. In 2025, Bradley was also a certified social media superstar, a frugal influencer with 1.5 million followers on TikTok. Without a detailed breakdown of flights, accommodations, and daily expenses, it's hard to tell what was frugal traveling and what was a paid opportunity, like the speaking event he gave (where he was paid but booked the flight and accommodations out-of-pocket).

Bradley's travel advice is harder to scale than his grocery budget, but the principles still hold up. Book flights early or late, whenever the algorithm blinks. Travel in the off-season. Pack snacks. Stay in hostels, or at least skip the hotel minibar. It's not revolutionary, but it works.

It's a nice reminder that living within your means doesn't have to limit your lifestyle.

Step 4: Extreme utility savings

Here's where Bradley loses most people. To keep his annual electric bill under $600, about $49 a month, he lives like someone prepping for the end times, just without the stockpile of canned beans.

He unplugs everything when it's not in use—yes, even the refrigerator if he's leaving town for a while, contents and all. He washes his hair in the sink to avoid heating a full shower's worth of water. And he refuses to turn on the heat in winter or the air conditioning in summer.

"I think it's amazing," he said. "Basically, I live in the dark."

While this extreme "survival mode" isn't realistic for everyone, especially considering that Bradley lives alone, it underscores his dedication to achieving financial stability, even at the cost of his own physical comfort.

Other expenses

Let's fill out the rest of Bradley's expenses:

  • Gym: His lowest annual expense was his gym membership, which cost just $120 for the year, or $10 a month, because he "refuses to pay more."
  • Haircuts: Six throughout the year, totaling $130, or about $22 per cut.
  • Internet: $552 per year, or $46 a month.
  • Home inspection: "And I almost bought a house this year!" he shared. That home inspection cost him $695.
  • Friends, fun, and dates: $567 per year, or about $47.25 a month, roughly $12 a week.
  • Gift giving: A wonderful place to spend extra money. $1,080 for the year. Bradley shares that he bought his mom Coldplay tickets, paid for his sister to get her nails done, and replaced the fireplace doors in his mom's home for Christmas.
  • Donations: "I started donating earlier this year to work on my relationship with money," he said. His donations totaled $1,248 for the year.
  • Taxes: "I owed $8,219 in taxes for the 2024 season."
  • Rent: Like most Americans, rent was Bradley's largest expense, totaling $9,800 for the year, or about $816 per month. That's a true achievement, considering he lives in New York City.
@baddie.brad Basically I go without until I can get it for free haha
♬ Morning Happy Melody - Donguri

Step 5: Side hustles and smart saving

Bradley's remarkable work ethic and commitment to his lifestyle may be his strongest attributes. Remember that top 4% income bracket? Bradley isn't just saving. He's hustling, too. He manages 10 diverse income streams, including content creation, brand partnerships, financial coaching, and more.

@baddie.brad I basically didn’t have a day off last year haha but the hard work paid off!
♬ Morning Happy Melody - Donguri

Despite his significant income, he avoids "lifestyle creep" by refusing to upgrade his apartment unnecessarily, buy a new car, or dine at luxury restaurants.

Money, budget, budgeting, spending, extreme A breakdown of Bradley's annual expenses. Photo credit: Bing

A quick analysis of Bradley's 2025 finances shows that his exceptionally high savings rate, roughly 86% of his income, reflects strong financial discipline and cost-effective management.

Rent, his biggest fixed expense, remains well below what he could afford, whether by careful design or by choosing to live somewhere most people wouldn't. The home inspection fee also suggests he's eyeing real estate and searching for smart investments.

The numbers tell the story plainly. Bradley keeps his fixed costs low, spends money only on what truly matters to him, and saves the rest. There's no fancy apartment, no new car, and no creep toward a more expensive lifestyle just because he can afford it. It's discipline, yes, but it's also strategy, the kind that builds wealth rather than merely earning it.

It's not deprivation. It's freedom.

It would be easy to dismiss Bradley's lifestyle, with its cold apartment and repetitive meals, as miserable. But Bradley genuinely believes the sacrifices are worth it, and he lights up when discussing his bank account.

"For me, 'treating myself' means watching my bank account grow," he said.

It's gratitude, plain and simple. When temptation hits, say in mid-July, when the apartment feels like a brick oven and the A/C unit sits there taunting him, he thinks back to what it felt like to be underwater. The sleepless nights. The pit in his stomach every time a bill arrived. The way debt made him feel small. Compared to that, a bowl of oatmeal tastes just fine.

Creating your own version of financial peace

Bradley knows his approach isn't for everyone. He's single, hyper-focused, and willing to live like a monk if it means hitting his financial goals. If he had a partner or kids, he admitted he'd dial it back. After all, no one wants to explain to their spouse why the refrigerator is unplugged again.

The takeaway here isn't about living in the dark or eating the same meal every day. It's about knowing exactly where your money goes. Bradley can pull up his spending down to the dollar because he tracks it. Most of us couldn't do that even if someone offered us a hundred bucks on the spot. We swipe, we tap, we subscribe, and we assume it'll all work out. It usually doesn't.

Start by questioning the expenses you've normalized. That gym membership you haven't used since February. The streaming service you forgot you had until the charge hit. The new car when your current one runs fine. Pick one category—groceries, transportation, housing, whatever bleeds the most—and get serious about it. Not miserable. Just deliberate.

You don't need to save 86% of your income or completely transform your life. But doesn't saving 10% or 20% of your earnings, and actually knowing where your money is going, sound nice?

spin doctors, chris barron, two princes, '90s music, rental cars, spin doctors video
Photo credit: screenshots via Spin Doctors Instagram

Spin Doctors' Chris Barron delighted car-rental employees with an impromptu version of "Two Princes."

Securing a rental car is usually, at best, a boring and tedious process—not usually the kind of thing you’d want to livestream or film for posterity. But that’s probably because you’ve never waited in line for your compact Sedan next to the singer of a popular alt-rock band. Chris Barron, singer of Spin Doctors, went viral on Instagram for an impromptu performance at the Enterprise Rent-A-Car at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport. It was a jovial acoustic version of the band’s 1991 classic "Two Princes," and the Internet loved every second of it.

The clip opens abruptly, with Barron strumming and singing the chorus. John Hampson of the band Nine Days, best remembered for their 2000 single "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)," films the clip and harmonizes nearby. It’s lovely to see Barron beaming—according to Setlist.fm, Spin Doctors have played this song 740 times, but that doesn’t seem to have diminished his joy for it. Equally great is the response from the Enterprise workers happily recording with their phones. (Kudos to the employee on our right, who dances and claps along.)


"They clearly don’t know that I’m the dude from Spin Doctors"

Upworthy reached out to Barron, who offered some backstory of this "organic" human moment. On December 13, 2025, he played an unplugged "Story of a Song" show alongside Hampson, Brian Vander Ark (The Verve Pipe) and J.R. Richards (Dishwalla) in Des Plaines, Illinois, but his flight wound up canceled due to weather conditions. "We got to the airport, and the new flight got delayed until 7 that night," Barron says. "[Hampson and I] looked at each other like, 'This flight’s not gonna happen.' Both of us are very seasoned travelers, old-school road dogs. We’re like, 'Let’s rent a car and drive. Let’s make it to Pittsburgh tonight and grab a hotel.'" After sorting out baggage, they headed down to Enterprise, which was empty except for four employees. When the workers saw the guitar cases, they asked the musicians to play a song.

"I just pull out my guitar and start playing 'Two Princes,'" he says. "They all pull their phones out, and John pulls his phone out. They’re clearly like, 'Wow, this guy is good, but they also clearly don’t know that I’m the dude from Spin Doctors.'" When he stepped away for a second, Hampson gave the workers that extra info: "They’re all like, 'Wait, that's the guy?'" Barron adds with a laugh. "I come out of the bathroom, and they all want to take pictures." The vibes was "all smiles"—plus, Barron's travel hunch was right: "We get to Pennsylvania at 1 a.m. and look at our phones, and at that flight had been canceled, so we definitely wouldn’t have gotten out that day. The next morning at 10 a.m.—about 24 hours after John and I decided to pull the plug and get it in a rental car—I was sitting on the couch with my cat at home. [Laughs.]"

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Love the one gentleman not recording it! Living in the moment!"

The video blew up on Instagram, with hundreds of people praising both the performance and the sweetness of this random encounter. Some celebrities and musical peers even weighed in, including singer-songwriter Lisa Loeb, who responded with a simple, "Yeah!" Here are some more great comments, including more than a couple rental-car jokes:

"I’m a firm believer this is one of the greatest songs ever made."

"I was getting ready to say damn this dude did a good job with this cover until I noticed it was the spindoctors page 😂👏🔥. One of my favorite songs growing up"

"Not me being like oh my God this is a great cover only to realize it’s you. Happy holidays, indeed."

"Feels like a complimentary upgrade to me"

"Most perfectly crafted pop rock song of the 90’s"

"I’m sorry sir but we still cannot upgrade your Kia Forte"

“'That’s great, but sir, you’re still going to need to purchase comprehensive coverage.'"

"Making the most of the situation! 👏"

"This song is forever in my shower-singing repertoire"

"This is just… fun. Life needs more of this."

"Real artists will play even the smallest of stadiums"

"Love the one gentleman not recording it! Living in the moment!"

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Virality, it should be noted, was never on Barron's wish list: "I really don’t think in terms of viral-video stuff," he says. "I’m not that generation. I’m a 20th-century guy. I was born in 1968. But John was like, 'We should post this. I bet it would take off.’ [The video is] very organic. It’s very analog. It’s a real moment that somebody captured."

"Two Princes" was one of two major hits from Spin Doctors’ debut LP, 1991’s Pocket Full of Kryptonite, along with "Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong." The former song hit No. 7 on the Billboard Hot 100 and earned a Grammy nomination for Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocal. But the band is still going—they’ve released five more albums over the years, including their most recent, 2013’s If the River Was Whiskey, and they have tour dates scheduled throughout 2026, including a run with Blues Traveler and Gin Blossoms.