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Kevin Spacey chose a pretty terrible moment to come out as a gay man.

There's never a bad time to start living your truth as an LGBTQ person. But, as actor Kevin Spacey's watershed coming-out moment shows, there are certainly some not great times to share that news with the public — like, for instance, when you're protecting yourself against allegations you molested a teenager.

Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images.

On Oct. 29, actor Anthony Rapp alleged Spacey had made unwanted sexual advances toward him when Rapp was a minor.

More than three decades ago, when Rapp and Spacey were both working on Broadway productions, Spacey had invited Rapp over to his apartment for a party. After the other guests had left, "[Spacey] picked Rapp up, placed him on his bed, and climbed on top of him, making a sexual advance," Rapp told BuzzFeed News.

Spacey would have been 26 years old at the time. Rapp was just 14.

Anthony Rapp. Photo by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images.

Spacey, who didn't dispute Rapp's recollection of the incident, apologized in a statement Sunday night.

"I honestly do not remember the encounter, it would have been over 30 years ago," Spacey wrote, blaming any misconduct on "drunken behavior."  

Spacey also chose to come out as gay in the very same statement — a move the LGBTQ community is not thrilled about.

"As the closest to me know, in my life I have had relationships with both men and women," Spacey wrote. "I have loved and had romantic encounters with men throughout my life, and I choose now to live as a gay man."

Normally, yes, coming out should be celebrated. But Spacey's decision to note he's part of the LGBTQ community in the same breath as he was deflecting allegations of sexual misconduct toward a minor was, as actor and comedian Billy Eichner wrote, "a bad time to come out."

Intentional or not, Spacey's statement could conflate being LGBTQ with being a sexual predator.

Many queer activists, like comedian Cameron Esposito, felt the need to make it crystal clear: Those two things are not the same.

The LGBTQ community has been fighting the myth that queer people are a danger to kids for decades.

According to the Southern Poverty Law Center, the idea that gay men are more likely to prey on children is one of the most pervasive and harmful myths associated with queer men. Leaning heavily on debunked "science," anti-LGBTQ advocates have (often successfully) pushed this backward narrative into the forays of public debate and politics. The late singer turned activist Anita Bryant, for instance, fought to overturn a Dade County, Florida, ordinance barring discrimination of gay people in 1977 by asserting LGBTQ people were a threat to children. She won.

As film critic Richard Lawson alluded, it's shameful political victories like Bryant's that illustrate why conflating queerness with predatory behavior is so dangerous.

Spacey's statement, muddying the waters between his life as a gay man, drunken behavior, and sexual predation, adds fuel to the fire for homophobes hungry for any anecdote that could be twisted to prove their point.

If you want to celebrate Spacey for finally coming out of the closet — just remember he could've done so at any time, in any way. He chose to do so now, in response to these allegations, and in a way that risks massive negative repercussions for the rest of the LGBTQ community. This story should be one about sexual assault and how to prevent it — not a famous actor's sexual orientation.

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Meet the 18-year-old advocating for teen mental health, one inspiring podcast at a time

All images provided by Prudential Emerging Visionaries

Collins after being selected by Prudential Emerging Visionaries

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A changemaker is anyone who takes creative action to solve an ongoing problem—be it in one’s own community or throughout the world.

And when it comes to creating positive change, enthusiasm and a fresh perspective can hold just as much power as years of experience. That’s why, every year, Prudential Emerging Visionaries celebrates young people for their innovative solutions to financial and societal challenges in their communities.

This national program awards 25 young leaders (ages 14-18) up to $15,000 to devote to their passion projects. Additionally, winners receive a trip to Prudential’s headquarters in Newark, New Jersey, where they receive coaching, skills development, and networking opportunities with mentors to help take their innovative solutions to the next level.

For 18-year-old Sydnie Collins, one of the 2023 winners, this meant being able to take her podcast, “Perfect Timing,” to the next level.

Since 2020, the Maryland-based teen has provided a safe platform that promotes youth positivity by giving young people the space to celebrate their achievements and combat mental health stigmas. The idea came during the height of Covid-19, when Collins recalled social media “becoming a dark space flooded with news,” which greatly affected her own anxiety and depression.

Knowing that she couldn’t be the only one feeling this way, “Perfect Timing” seemed like a valuable way to give back to her community. Over the course of 109 episodes, Collins has interviewed a wide range of guests—from other young influencers to celebrities, from innovators to nonprofit leaders—all to remind Gen Z that “their dreams are tangible.”

That mission statement has since evolved beyond creating inspiring content and has expanded to hosting events and speaking publicly at summits and workshops. One of Collins’ favorite moments so far has been raising $7,000 to take 200 underserved girls to see “The Little Mermaid” on its opening weekend, to “let them know they are enough” and that there’s an “older sister” in their corner.

Of course, as with most new projects, funding for “Perfect Timing” has come entirely out of Collins’ pocket. Thankfully, the funding she earned from being selected as a Prudential Emerging Visionary is going toward upgraded recording equipment, the support of expert producers, and skill-building classes to help her become a better host and public speaker. She’ll even be able to lease an office space that allows for a live audience.

Plus, after meeting with the 24 other Prudential Emerging Visionaries and her Prudential employee coach, who is helping her develop specific action steps to connect with her target audience, Collins has more confidence in a “grander path” for her work.

“I learned that my network could extend to multiple spaces beyond my realm of podcasting and journalism when industry leaders are willing to share their expertise, time, and financial support,” she told Upworthy. “It only takes one person to change, and two people to expand that change.”

Prudential Emerging Visionaries is currently seeking applicants for 2024. Winners may receive up to $15,000 in awards and an all-expenses-paid trip to Prudential’s headquarters with a parent or guardian, as well as ongoing coaching and skills development to grow their projects.

If you or someone you know between the ages of 14 -18 not only displays a bold vision for the future but is taking action to bring that vision to life, click here to learn more. Applications are due by Nov. 2, 2023.
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Jessica Skube can't believe that they changed the 'Alphabet Song.'

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40-something moms who stayed home to be with their kids are finding themselves in uncharted waters.

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Mom proves the pain of being the ‘default parent’ by counting her 3 kids’ non-stop requests

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via Anna Shvets/Pexels and Jordan Klein/TikTok

Jrdan Klen counts the number of requests her 3 kids make in a day.

There never seems to be any downtime when you’re the default parent. You know, the parent that the kids go to first when they want anything, especially food. They're also the go-to person for school forms and bedtime stories, and the parents that the school reaches out to when a student is sick has to go home.

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This validates my burn out, right? #momtok #momsoftiktok #sahm #boymom #toddlermom #toddlersoftiktok #3under5

@jothemama

This validates my burn out, right? #momtok #momsoftiktok #sahm #boymom #toddlermom #toddlersoftiktok #3under5

"I downloaded one of those little counter clicker apps on my phone where I could just push the screen, and it ticks up one number, and I was just gonna hit it every time one of my children ...made a request,” Jordan said in her TikTok video.

Just ten minutes after downloading the app, her kids made 86 requests of her. She even didn't count repeats, and kids love to repeat themselves. “I guarantee you that if I were to ask my husband how many requests a day he gets at work... it's in the single digits, for sure," she added.

And they say being a stay-at-home mom isn’t a full-time job! “This validates my burnout, right?” Jordan captioned her post.

"I feel this completely, and point it out often to my husband. Like yall, Dad is RIGHT THERE. Ask him," CrochetFeen wrote in the comments. "I have 3 kids too and ‘Mom’ is now a triggering word," Sandra added.

The quasi-scientific experiment gives Jordan some excellent ammunition when talking to her husband about how they divide parenting duties. Even if it doesn’t mean he takes over the default role after work, it at least makes a great case that Jordan deserves more than a few lengthy breaks throughout the day and a few days off every month.

There is only so much stress and mental anguish that parents can take before they are no longer effective and cannot provide a happy and healthy home for their children. When evaluating domestic responsibilities, we often consider having a professional job more stressful than raising children. However, Jordan’s experiment proves that parenting can mean a lot more emotional labor, and families should take a second look at how default parents are valued.

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