upworthy

personality

Health

We asked people what they really enjoy that others can't understand. One answer dominated.

Interestingly, research shows that these people are particularly unlikely to be neurotic.

Canva

Some people really enjoy being alone.

We recently asked our Upworthy audience on Facebook, "What's something that you really enjoy that other people can't seem to understand?" and over 1,700 people weighed in. Some people shared things like housework, cleaning and laundry, which a lot of people see as chores. Others shared different puzzles or forms of art they like doing, and still others shared things like long car rides or grocery shopping.

But one answer dominated the list of responses. It came in various wordings, but by far the most common answer to the question was "silent solitude." Here are a few examples:

"Feeling perfectly content, when I’m all alone."

"Being home. Alone. In silence."

"That I enjoy being alone and my soul is at peace in the silence. I don't need to be around others to feel content, and it takes me days to recharge from being overstimulated after having an eventful day surrounded by others."

"Enjoying your own company. Being alone isn’t isolating oneself. It’s intentional peace and healthy… especially for deep feelers/thinkers."

Spending time by ourselves is something some of us relish, while some of us hate being alone. Naturally, this points to the common theory of introversion vs. extraversion, but in some ways, that's overly simplistic. Even the most peopley people among us can enjoy some quality alone time, and not all introverts see time alone as truly enjoyable. (It might be necessary for an introvert's well-being, but not necessarily something they truly revel in.)

Interesting, studies have found that people who enjoy being alone are not any more or less extraverted than those who don't, though they do tend to be less "sociable." They are also less likely to be neurotic (tense, moody, worrying types) than the generally population and more likely to be open-minded. Those characteristics are the opposite of what social norms often tell us about people who want to be alone.

"If our stereotypes about people who like being alone were true, then we should find that they are neurotic and closed-minded. In fact, just the opposite is true," writes Bella DePaulo, PhD.

There may be lots of reasons some people like to spend time by themselves while others don't. We are naturally social creatures and need social interaction, but some of us find ourselves overstimulated by being around other people all the time. On the flip side, some people find being alone not just unenjoyable, but extremely uncomfortable, which can be a problem.

"Ideally, we should be comfortable with ourselves, alone or with others," writes psychologist Tara Well Ph.D.. "If you are uncomfortable being alone, it means you are uncomfortable being with yourself without distraction, engagement, or affirmation from others. This can be a liability in life. If you cannot be alone, you may stay in situations or make life choices that aren’t good for you in the long run, like staying in a job or a relationship, mainly because you can’t tolerate being alone while transitioning to a better situation."

Dr. Well also points out that people can make the most of their alone time, even if it's not something they naturally enjoy. One way is to make it purposeful, setting aside a little time daily to write in a journal, meditate, go for a walk or otherwise engage your mind and body in some form of reflection. Another is to pay attention to self-judgments that might make alone time uncomfortable and challenge them with some compassionate confrontation and counteraction with positive thoughts about yourself.

Alone time can be refreshing and rewarding, especially if it's something you naturally crave. Some people even like to take themselves out on dates or enjoy traveling by themselves. That kind of self-care can be just as important as connecting with others for our overall health and well-being. Being alone doesn't mean being a loner and it doesn't mean being lonely. Some of us genuinely like having quality time with ourselves, whether it makes sense to other people or not.


This article originally appeared on 1.1.24

From Your Site Articles
personality
More

10 comics explain what it's really like to be an introvert.

What it looks like to live as an introvert, as told by an introvert.

A lot of people think being an introvert is limited to wanting to be alone.

But really, it's so much more.

This is why Maureen Wilson decided to illustrate some of the best parts of being an introvert. Introverts can be observant, and they can be good listeners. Some introverts enjoy being with people often while other introverts love being alone most of the time.

But it's estimated that about one-third to half of the U.S. population are introverts, so no two introverts are the same. Here are 10 things Wilson wants you to know about an introvert's life.

1. Introverts are more than quiet.

2. An introvert's guide to fashion may include conversation-proof clothing items and accessories.


3. They might also have a few T-shirts to add to the mix.


4. Introverts and extroverts actually share a few commonalities.


5. Their alone time often isn't lonely.

6. Their weekends might look a little bit less full, but that doesn't mean they aren't relaxing.

7. Home tends to be where the heart truly is for an introvert.

8. This Magic 8 Ball game truly captures being an introvert.

9. Sometimes, talking to non-humans can lead to easier conversations, too.

10. But what most introverts want you to know, above anything else, is that being at peace with themselves makes them the happiest of all.

From Your Site Articles
More

5 big takeaways from a new study linking personality type to parenting style.

A new study linking personality type to parenting style yielded some interesting results.

Let's cut to the chase. What kind of parent are you?

Say what? GIF from "The Daily Show."

Don't worry, nobody is on trial here. The answer is simple — you're a good one. 

\n\n

But thanks to a new study from Truity, a company that specializes in personality assessments, we can learn how our personality types affect our roles as parents. 

We know parenting styles and personality types are related, but thanks to a new study, now we know how they're related. Photo from iStock.

The tool being used is the famous Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), which has its critics, but resonates deeply with a lot of people.

\n\n

In a nutshell, there are four dimensions on the MBTI, and the majority of us favor a side for each one. 

\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

1. Extroversion (E) vs. Introversion (I) — how one manages and replenishes personal energy
2. Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N) — how one gathers and processes information
3. Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F) — how one prioritizes personal values
4. Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P) — how one organizes and structures daily life and work


\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

The end result is a four-letter code based on each of the four dimensions, and if you're unsure about your personality type, you can complete a free online assessment. There are 16 possible personality types and you can learn more about each one here. 

\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Truity took that information a step further by using a three-step questionnaire to find correlations between personality type and parenting.

\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Here are five big takeaways from the study.

1. Each personality type has its own unique parenting strengths.

Yes, we all have our weaknesses as parents, too, but it's important to note that our personality types provide us with some pretty awesome strengths when it comes to raising tiny humans.

\n\n

Nothing is absolute. For example, just because "sensors" tend to emphasize traditions doesn't mean that "intuitives" don't. It simply means that the study found they focus their energies more on behaviors that come more naturally to them.

\n\n\n\n\n\n

There are so many different parenting styles out there, and one isn't better than another. But it's pretty cool to see how our personalities shape how we choose to interact with our children. 

All infographic images by Truity, used with permission.

2. It doesn't matter if you're a mom or dad, INFP parents are most likely to embrace the stay-at-home lifestyle.

It's important to note that the chart lists the percentages of women who are stay-at-home moms. Due to the small sample size of male respondents who are stay-at-home dads, the chart for men reveals the percentages of men who would like to be at home with their kids primarily. 

\n\n

Either way, INFP respondents (or introverted, feeling types) are the ones who tend to embrace the stay-at-home parent role more than any other type. 

Another interesting point is over two-thirds of the fathers surveyed said they would give up their day jobs to be stay-at-home dads. 

3. When it comes to rating their own parenting skills, extroverts gave themselves a lot of props. Introverts? Not as much.

Respondents were given a series of statements about parenting and were asked to rate their level of agreement on a scale from 1 (strongly disagree) to 5 (strongly agree). In almost every instance, extroverts rated themselves highest while introverts went in the opposite direction. 

\n\n

Here's a snapshot of the results. 

If you think that means all extroverts are better suited for parenting, think again.

\n\n

"Previous studies have shown that extroverts are more likely to express positive emotions in general," the researchers at Truity said. "We can expect them to score more highly on any measure where they are asked about emotions such as happiness and joy."

4. Feelers prefer having kids more than thinkers do. And some personality types just don't dig the whole parenting thing at all.

OK, so it's too late now for those of us who are already knee-deep in parenthood, but in case you're wondering how personality type correlates to the desire to have kids, this section is for you.

And for the comedians out there — they didn't conduct research on the "do have, don't want" category.

Of all of the personality types, INTJ responders were the most likely to say that they never wanted children. 

\n\n

Why?

\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Truity interviewed a few INTJ respondents to get their thoughts on the topic. One INTJ father of four had this to say:

“As an INTJ, being free and able to grow and learn is very important to me, so being a parent can be a challenge. I have to constantly carve out time for reading, thinking and quiet, which can be a real challenge. But, if I can find some maintenance time for myself, I can be a really good parent. If I don't my impatience with my children really surfaces.” 

That's not to say that thinkers can't handle parenting. They just need some "me time" every now and then. And let's be real — every parent needs some time to themselves. 

5. Sometimes surviving parenthood starts with surrounding yourself with people who "get" you.

For the people who choose to have children, it will be the toughest job they'll ever have. But it can be a little easier if they know there are others out there who experience similar joys and frustrations of raising kids. 

\n\n

"Most parents report that one of the best ways to cope with the struggles of parenting is to hear from other parents going through the same challenges," said the people at Truity. "In this respect, personality typing can be a unique form of stress relief for parents."

\n\n\n\n

Regardless of personality types, that is something we can all agree on.

\n\n\n\n


From Your Site Articles
Trending Stories