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Family of 4 moves from the US to Spain and mom shares why life there is 80% less stressful

"I went to eat with my baby at a restaurant in Spain and my baby started screaming..."

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One family says living abroad with young kids has massively reduced their stress.

Most burnt-out parents I know have at least toyed with the idea of moving far, far away. You can only handle so many news stories of school shootings or eroding child labor laws in the US before you seriously start to think about what life could be like elsewhere.

And it's not even necessarily these drastic issues that are so worrying. It's the day to day: the high cost of childcare and living, the extremely fast pace of American life, and being horribly anxious that taking your kids out in public will bother someone's peace and quiet. It's all a lot, and it's taking a serious toll on American parents' mental health.

Marae and Roger Torrelier hit a tipping point when their five-year-old was getting ready to start school in the US. The two had lived in several different states, including far-away Alaska, but they were finally ready to try a different way of life.

The family of four now live in Malaga, Spain with their older child and a baby. Marae has been documenting the journey on social media and how it differs from their experience living in America.

For starters, they say they're way more comfortable being out and about with their kids in public.

"[In the US] we've encountered venues that even refuse children, whereas in Europe and Asia, children are welcomed almost everywhere," mom told Newsweek.

The family has found their new home in Spain to be far more family- and kid-friendly, not just in the design and policies of the cities, but in the way strangers interact and respond to children.

"Playgrounds have cafés so you can have a coffee, a meal or drink while the kids play. People often interact with our kids with kindness, neighbors know them and ask about them."

I remember visiting Italy with my then-4-year-old and being amazed at how relaxed I felt sitting in a piazza having a glass of wine while she wandered and played in the busy square. It's still one of my top overall memories!

In one viral clip on the family's TikTok, Marae admits "I went to eat with my baby at a restaurant in Spain and my baby started screaming..." You know, baby does as babies do. But what the people around her did surprised the mom.

"The chef came out running to see 'the cute baby' and see if he could make her something to eat. Then he started showing her to the rest of the staff."

In the clip, the smiling chef can be seen playing with the baby before passing her off to another staff member, who is overjoyed to hold the little cutie.

@bravefamilytravel

The sweetest people 😭 #spaintravel #travelwithababy

"We’ve been outside of the US for less than a year and my stress levels have decreased by 80%," she writes in another post on Instagram.

In this clip, the family has popped on over to Italy for a visit, and a sweet old Italian man stops while passing by to smile and wave at the baby.

"When my baby cries I’m not afraid a stranger is gonna come and complain she’s being loud. Instead, they approach to see how they can help. When strangers approach I’m not afraid of what they’ll do but rather excited to see the interaction"

"This is the way it should be. We are social beings. This is the village. ... If you’re looking for a taste of what a child and family friendly society looks like, come to Italy."

There are a lot of things that make many other countries around the world, particularly in Europe, extremely appealing for families.

Kind people, and rude people, exist all over the world. Grumpy folks aren't unique to America. But some parts of the world just have better infrastructure for parents with young kids.

Places like Spain or Italy often have a slower way of life, more built-in time off for workers, better maternity and paternity leave, and childcare that is astronomically more affordable.

(In the United States, putting two or even just one child in full-time daycare so both parents can work costs about as much as a mortgage.)

@bravefamilytravel

we’ve been outside of the US for less than 2 months and my stress levels have decreased by 80%

Viewers and commenters love hearing about the family's journey, and have been quick to share their own stories of living and traveling abroad.

"In Singapore, the sweet Asian ladies took my baby out of my hands, a group of older women circled around her, and couldn’t believe she had blonde hair and blue eyes. It was absolutely such a sweet moment, and you could understand there was no threat."

"We hear a baby cry and we 1) Understand babies cry 2) Hope mum / dad isn't too stressed 3) we've all been there and 4) we remember our little ones"

"In italy we say "it takes a town to grow up a child". It's rare to see people not being kind to kids"

"You should visit Japan once. Babies are rare there because of population decline so they get such a celebrity status kinda love that its heart-rending."

@bravefamilytravel

Best decision ever 😂 says baby Atlas 👏

European countries aren't without their own problems. And believe it or not, there are lots of great communities and villages right here at home in America. You just have to put in a little extra effort to seek them out.

You may not feel comfortable letting your toddler loose in a busy city square here in America. But you can definitely cultivate a close group of family friends who live nearby, maybe even in walking distance.

And you can definitely be that person who offers to hold a crying baby or gives a reassuring smile to a tired parent who's worried they're bothering everyone.

You don't have to move halfway across the world to seek out a different way of life, or make a difference in other people's. But... it sure would be nice if America could make it a little easier sometimes.

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People who live nowhere near Mississippi have their own unique ways of counting seconds.

Imagine you're nine years old. You're playing hide and go seek with your friends, and it's your turn to seek. You lean against a tree and cover your eyes and begin to count. How do you do it? If you were born in the USA, there is only one way:

"One Mississippi...two Mississippi...three Mississippi..."

Counting by "Mississippis" is the gold standard for people growing up in America. Though there are other ways to count out estimated seconds, Mississippi has the perfect length, correct number of syllables, and just the right sing-song rhythm that makes it such a catchy way for kids to learn to count. For many of us, the habit follows us into adulthood. We may not count out loud during backyard games as often anymore, but secretly many of us still do it in our heads.

counting, numbers, counting mississippi, american, english, usa, cultural differences, learning, education, kids Counting is fun! Giphy

Mississippi, though, is a very American word because it's a very American place. So recently a curious social media user posed the question: How do non-Americans count seconds instead of using One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, etc.?

The Reddit thread got over a thousand comments from people wanting to chime in. In fact, it's such a good question that the topic has come up on social media many times over the years, in several Reddit threads, YouTube videos, and more.

Seems we just can't get enough of this fascinating topic! Here are the best responses from people around the globe.

counting, numbers, counting mississippi, american, english, usa, cultural differences, learning, education, kids As Ross from 'Friends' would say, "Mississippilessly?!" Giphy

For starters, let's briefly recognize that not everyone in the USA counts "One Mississippi." There is another popular, though far inferior, method of counting.

"As an American, I rarely use Mississippi to count seconds. I normally use 'one thousand,'" a user wrote on Reddit.

Yes, One One Thousand, Two One Thousand, Three One Thousand, etc. Effective, but boring!

In the UK, there are a few popular options. Some people there even say Mississippi, even though it's thousands of miles away and they probably know almost nothing about the place! That's how catchy it is.

In a YouTube video on the subject posted by Numberphile, an American woman living in England, she shares that people she knows use "1 Piccadilly, 2 Piccadilly..." or "1 Elephant, 2 Elephant..."

One user on Reddit said, "'One silly second, two silly seconds' - in my part of the UK (in the 80s)"

Another user mentioned they were familiar with "One steamboat, two steamboats..." but mostly during football matches.

People who live in France or speak French Canadian seem to have a lot of different options:

"In french we say '''un bateau, deux bateaux'' (one boat, to boats)' one user wrote.

"un sucre, deux sucres, trois sucres... (one sugar, two...)" said another.

Another person added, "in French I grew up with « un crocodile, deux crocodiles » or « un hippopotame, deux hippopotames »"

"French canadian, we count hippopotamuses ... Un hippopotame, deux hippopotames..." someone else agreed.


counting, numbers, counting mississippi, american, english, usa, cultural differences, learning, education, kids One hippopotamus, two hippopotamus... Giphy

Animal names for counting seconds seem to be a popular choice all over the world, in fact, with elephants, crocodiles, and the mighty hippopotamus ruling the day.

"In South Africa we used to say 'one crocodile', 'two crocodiles', etc."

"Australia: one cat-and-dog, two cat-and-dog, three cat-and-dog"

"Egy elefánt, két elefánt, három elefánt, ... Hungarian: one elephant, two elephant, the elephant"

Some countries have a creative and interesting technique. Instead of using a filler word, they start counting at later numbers that have more syllables.

"In Dutch, we start counting at 21, which has four syllables. The pace is a bit slower than the Mississippis. Eenentwintig tweeëntwintig, drieëntwintig.." a user wrote.

A German speaking user echoed the sentiment: "The actual way I‘ve been taught to count seconds in German is by saying twenty one, twenty two, etc.. in German. So: Einundzwanzig, zweiundzwanzig, dreiundzwanzig, vierundzwanzig,…"

Other countries have their own version of "One One Thousand..."

"The only ones I've heard people use here in Sweden is saying ettusenett, ettusentvå, ettusentre etc. which means 'onethousandone, onethousandtwo...'" a user wrote.

"Czech: jednadvacet, dvaadvacet... (one-and-twenty, two-and-twenty...)" another added.

And others were just completely unique:

"In Denmark we use 'en kasse øl, to kasser øl ....'. Basically counting cases of beer"

"In India we say 'Tick tick one', 'tick tick two' sort of like ticking of the clock."

counting, numbers, counting mississippi, american, english, usa, cultural differences, learning, education, kids Tick tick one, tick tick two, tick tick three... Giphy

Finally, because the Internet, social media users had some excellent jokes:

"In Canada, we just apologize after every number. 'One, I'm sorry; two, I'm sorry...'"

"One Transylvania, ah, ha, ha, Two Transylvania, ah, ha, ha..... I obviously live on Sesame Street."

"One Maple Syrup, Two Maple Syrup…."

"In Wales, they say ONE llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, TWO llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, THREE llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoc."

(You may recognize that word as the longest village name in Britain and the subject of an incredible viral TV weather forecast moment.)

How did Mississippi become the standard method of counting seconds in the United States? It's hard to say for sure, but one of the earliest references comes from a book titled How to Use Psychology in Business from 1936.

The passage in question discusses the most efficient method of climbing stairs to conserve energy (for some reason), and recommends counting Mississippis on each stair to achieve the optimal pacing of about one step per second.

From there, the fun, catchy, sing-songiness of the method made it a go-to choice for kids counting in schoolyard games, and the rest was history.

While Mississippi is definitely the most fun and effective method in American English for estimating seconds, some of the international options are fascinating and super creative. All in all, Sesame Street's The Count would be incredibly proud of us.


via Kayleigh Donahue/TikTok and Zeeshan Kundi/Pexels
Kayleigh Donahue explains the differences between the U.S. and Europe.

Living abroad is a dream many people have, whether it's spending a summer in a foreign country or packing up their entire life to make the permanent move. In fact, about a third or more of Americans would move to another country if they had the means, and many do. Some estimates show that between 4-5 million non-military US citizens live abroad.

But life is funny, and sometimes these ex-pats come back to the United States for a variety of reasons like family or career, which gives them an extremely interesting perspective when they begin their re-entry.

Take American-born TikTok user Kayleigh Donahue, for example. She's going viral on the platform because of her unflinching take on why it was a mistake for her to move back to the U.S. after spending 4 years in Ireland.

She moved back to the Boston area. Kayleigh moved back to the U.S. from Ireland to make more money, but that didn’t go as planned.

Even though she got paid more, the cost of living was so much higher that she saved less money than she did in Ireland. She also missed the generous number of vacation days she got in Europe as compared to America.

"I have been bamboozled," she begins in the now viral clip with over 600 thousand views.


@kayshaynee

popping off always #americanabroad #usavseurope #movingabroad #livingabroad #europevsamerica #fyp


Many people like Kayleigh move abroad, especially to European countries, for a slower way of life, better work-life balance, more opportunity for travel, or just to see something different. But America is the land of opportunity, right? For some, that promise always beckons, no matter where they go. So even though Kayleigh had an amazing life in Ireland, she wound up moving home to advance her career and make more money.

“Basically, I really got sucked into the American Dream way of living when I was abroad, which is funny because I loved living abroad,” Kayleigh said. “But you know, making more money, that’s enticing. Good job, that’s enticing. It’s not true. It used to be. It definitely used to be. You could come here and make a ton of money, make a great life for yourself. But the younger generation today, in this country — screwed. It’s literally all a lie that is sold to you. It’s such a struggle, and the older generation doesn’t seem to see how much of a struggle it is for the younger generation here.”

In the end, who wants to work harder for a lower quality of life?

“Needless to say, I will most likely be moving back to Europe where 20-plus days of paid vacation a year is literally the law, and I will make less money, but somehow, you know, the cost of living is lower there and I can save more,” Kayleigh concluded the video.

Viewers applauded Kayleigh for coming to the realization:

"Yep, I made the same mistake. Then I realized that people and quality of life are more important than income. Enjoy life!" one wrote.

"Get that. We moved back to US and it was horrible. We moved back to the UK. Happier now was 6 weeks off a year" said another.

"I think there are actually very few people who derive their enjoyment and self-worth from their job. Quality of life is so much more important," another user added.

@kayshaynee

so lucky to live this life🤍 #movingabroad #americanabroad #thenetherlands #europetravel


Kayleigh made good on her promise. As of January 2025, she now lives in Amsterdam with her Dutch husband, and they seem to be loving their life abroad.

A Mercer survey in 2024 put Amsterdam as the sixth best city in the world for quality of life. It's a place with rich culture, amazing public transportation, and a reasonable cost of living to earning potential ratio.

@kayshaynee

I guess I live here now??? #movingabroad #dutchtiktok #amsterdam #americanabroad #internationalcouple

Young Americans really aren't asking for that much. They just want to be able to afford and enjoy their life, and they're willing to work hard for it. America should be giving them those opportunities instead of losing more and more talented young people to other countries.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

There are things we might not realize are uniquely American until we leave the country.

No matter what country you were born in, what you view as "normal" or "odd" is greatly impacted by your nation's culture. So many things we might not think about are uniquely American, but we may not realize it until we step beyond our borders and immerse ourselves in other countries' norms.

For instance, I’ve never felt more American than I did sitting in a European restaurant impatiently waiting for the check for our meal. In U.S. restaurants, when you’re almost finished eating, the server will usually ask if you want anything else and then give you the check. In most European countries, they won’t bring the check until you explicitly ask for it. Meals are seen as inherently leisurely affairs, no rushing, no pressure to wrap up and leave. While that sounds nice, we were in eat-and-go mode and time was a-wasting—again, so very American.

from AskReddit

Someone on Reddit asked what things people didn’t realize were “very American” until they left the U.S., and the responses are eye-opening. in addition to the eating fast meals thing, here were some of the top answers:

The weirdness of working while sick

It should be a given that you should stay home from work when you're sick. In the U.S., it's not.

“I moved to the Netherlands 8 years ago. Probably the biggest one to me was working while sick. For 20 years I came to work every day unless I physically could not. Like, I had to be so sick I legitimately could not make myself get out of bed. And even then I felt bad.

I wasn’t here for maybe 3 months when I got a cold and my boss came around to my desk and sent me home. I was still in my probation period. I was super worried that if I took a sick day I’d be fired and sent back on a plane to the US, my family mad as shit at me. I told him I’d go home but I’d have my laptop on me.

No, you will go home and rest.

Ok, I’ll be back tomorrow.

NO. You will stay home until you are well. I will not discuss this further.

When I came back well, several days later, my boss sent an American colleague around to talk to me. This guy had been there 10 years. He told me that they don’t want you getting anyone else sick, and 'there’s unlimited sick time for a reason.' So now I’m the one telling new arrivals to use their sick time.”

calling in sick, sick days, working while sick, illness, flu season Americans are often expected to tough it out and work when they're sick. Giphy

“This was me in London. I was just a bartender and I got the flu and was out for like a week. I called in every day apologizing profusely expecting them to replace me and tell me I took too long etc. they got annoyed eventually and told me if I don't stay home until I'm better, even if it's another 2 whole ass weeks, and if I called in again to say I wouldn't be in, that they WOULD fire me being an annoyance. I stayed out for another maybe 4 days and called in to get on the schedule and everything was fine. They thanked me for staying home.”

“Meanwhile in America: School district says doctor’s notes will no longer excuse child absences.”

“At one point they threatened to criminally cite me with truancy for keeping my chronically sick child home on doctors orders. Let that sink in. I had a life-threateningly sick child. Caring for him. Following doctors orders. And was threatened with criminal charges for truancy.”

The delicious bliss that is ranch dressing

If you're looking for the quintessential all-American food, ranch dressing might be it. (And peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as well.)

ranch dressing, hidden valley ranch, ranch dipping sauce, American Few foods are more American than ranch dressing Giphy

“Ranch dressing. Ranch flavored Doritos are still sold, but they’re labelled ‘American flavor.’”

“Side note... Hidden Valley Ranch is THE ranch that invented the dressing. It's just neat we call it ranch dressing because the people that crafted the recipe owned a ranch, called Hidden Valley, and now the dressing is ‘Ranch’ dressing.”

"I have a coworker from a ranchless country. Every couple years, we work a gig together, and I’ll bring some ranch from the US because they love it lol."

"My fiancee told me the other day that other countries don't have ranch. Call me basic, but it's my favorite dressing for salads, carrots, cucumbers, etc"

"This is what I was going to say. I'm from Wisconsin and we love our ranch dressing. I live in the Horn of Africa now and it's impossible to come by. Luckily, there's a French grocery store here that sells a small bottle of some brand I've never heard of so I stock up.

My (Djiboutian) girlfriend saw that I stocked the fridge and she asked if I 'was making a sandwich' while holding the bottle and I just said 'Oh, dear. That goes on everything.'"

billboard, advertisement, highway, ads, driving Billboards can be found on highways in many U.S. states.Photo credit: Canva

Those big, gaudy billboards along the highway

This is not only in the U.S., and some states have banned them, but we do seem to have a thing for big advertisements.

“Truly one of the most underrated, disappointing things about the US. I wish they were banned in more states.”

“What is really fun is going down 75S and seeing all the adult superstore ads right next to all the religious hellfire ads.”

“My absolute favorite are the digital signs above the highways that tell you not to text and drive, while giving you a number to text for more info.”

The fact that we drive almost everywhere

Sure, we have public transportation. But that doesn't mean it's convenient or even an option for many Americans.

“Here in the US, outside of big cities, it's pretty much required to drive a car. When I lived abroad for a few years I was able to survive completely off public transport, the occasional taxi, and walking on my own two feet.”

cars, driving, america, freeways, highways The U.S. highway system is well developed because we have to drive most places.Photo credit: Canva

“Yeah, my partner is from Massachusetts and I (British) saw there was a grocery store less than a mile away and figured I could walk there, as I usually would at home.

I could not walk there.”

“I took a business trip to Richardson, Texas, an inner-ring suburb of Dallas, about 10 years ago (I worked in Chicago)

I remember staying at a hotel and having to go to our Texas office out there.

From the hotel, I could SEE the office. As the crow flies, 5 minute walk, TOPS!

It took me 30+ minutes to get there WITH A CAR!!!”

“I'm British and I lived in Wisconsin for a while. People became immediately suspicious of me when I told them I don't drive and never have. I actually had to come up with reasons to explain (which I do have) in order for them to be somewhat pacified. But I definitely felt held in a different regard subsequently; for in the UK driving is a choice, in America however, I was under the impression that they thought something was wrong with me.”

soda, pop, large soda, portion sizes, American soda, diet coke The size of our sodas is legendary Giphy GIF by Jukebox Saints

The super size of our sodas

Yes, we know. This might be the most predictable response, but it's also a fact.

“I am in North America on vacation at the moment and I definitely made a mistake ordering a large drink at McDonald's. Turns out 'large' on this side of the Atlantic is about twice as big as the 'large' back home. Even the US medium-sized drink is bigger than the largest available in Europe.”

"Never order a large drink in the US unless you want a half gallon drink."

"Try ordering a large drink at a movie theater over here. They basically just hand you a portable bathtub filled with enough sugar to give an elephant diabetes."

"Yeah don’t get soda over here they’ll try to drown you in it. Enough soda for a full week served in a bucket."

"Yes, but do you fill your cups up with ice where you are from? I think U.S. soft drinks are larger to account for all the ice."

(The fact that we put ice in all our drinks is also oh-so-American.)

printer, printer paper, A4 paper, letter paper, 8.5 x 11, printing Americans use letter sized paper while most of the world uses A4. Photo credit: Canva

The size of our printer paper, apparently?

We know that letter paper is 8.5 in x 11 in, but that's not the size of paper most of the world prints on. Most use A4, which is 8.27 in x 11.69 in. Much like our commitment to empirical measurements over the metric system, this causes issues when we interact with the rest of the world.

"Letter-size paper vs A4 paper."

"I work part time at Staples, in the print and marketing department. Can't tell you how many times I've had folks from other countries ask why their documents were cut off when they made copies. They're always baffled that we don't use the same paper sizes, which I get. It's especially irritating because A4 is SO CLOSE to 8.5x11."

'Worked for an internal law firm in Canada back when everyone printed and signed documents in person. Had a lot of fun with the mix of letter, legal and A4 paper that we'd get on some deals. Especially irritating when sharing a printer and someone prints on your special order A4 paper before you do."

printer, printer paper, A4 paper, letter paper, 8.5 x 11, printing Printing on slightly different paper sizes makes for mishaps. Giphy

"This was fairly frustrating when I was applying for my Taiwanese dual citizenship. I would get documents formatted for different countries, and if I don't check the settings and scale it appropriately before I hit the print button, I'd get an error message, and I had to print out at least 50 pages of stuff.

Also, for instance, my birth certificate, federal background check, and some other papers printed in the US are in Letter size, but once they got authenticated by the Taiwanese government, the authentication certificate they'd staple to it is A4, and the folder it's contained in looked a little lopsided and sloppy, and it's mildly frustrating and hilarious to try to arrange it neatly."

"I had a job where the Belgium office made an app that was hard coded to use A4 paper. If you printed on US Letter paper it would print a little on the 2nd page. Such a weird programming choice."

The competitiveness of our high school and college sports

Or the fact that we even have competitive high school and college sports teams, apparently.

football, college football, sports, high school sports, college sports The American hype around college football is nearly equivalent to the pros. Giphy

"I think this is a big one. Most Americans expect/understand American football and baseball aren't played in European high schools, but a lot of them probably assume high schools still have large soccer stadiums and programs. And that colleges would also have soccer programs. But athletics is mostly an independent entity from academic institutions."

"There was a split in the 1800's where america went with extracurricular sports and europe went with club sports and rec leagues."

"Absolutely insane to me how many people are fervently, truly fanatically obsessed with their college sports teams. Whenever I say the NCAA should be its own minor-league organization and completely separate from schools people act like I told them to bury their own family alive."

"As an Australian, Americans' obsession with literal teenagers playing amateur sports for their school always struck me as deeply weird."

The awesomeness of our 'sink blenders'

The best part of this one is what everyone calls them.

garbage disposal, insinkerator, kitchen sink, American kitchens, food grinder Grinding up food scraps in the sink is an all-American habit.Photo credit: Canva

"Garbage disposers."

"Disposals."

"Garburators."

"Disposaraters."

"Dispogarbagiozers."

"Insinkerators. Actual brand name."

"I love the first time I saw a European talking about one on reddit and they called it a 'sink blender.'"

"I was going to say this. When my now-wife visited me in the US, she was both enthralled and terrified of mine. Now that I'm in Canada, I find out that it is illegal to have one in some parts!"

american flags, americans, friendly americans, talking to strangers, chitchat Americans are known for their willingness to chit chat. Photo credit: Canva

The way we shoot the breeze with strangers—and loudly

We're allegedly a friendly bunch, and we let everyone within earshot know it.

"Chit chat, Americans can start conversations with random strangers & feel completely normal to share their stories."

"I was working retail in Stockholm for a while and one of my coworkers told me she was surprised by how many customers wanted to chitchat with me, because 'we don’t do that, generally.'"

"I'll never forget the feeling of wanting to melt into the earth because I asked for a light for a cigarette on a street in London. The number one reason I enjoyed smoking was all the new friends you can make just by both being smokers. I honestly have no idea why Brits smoke if they don't want to make new friends."

"The loudness. My fellow Americans talk SO LOUD ALL THE TIME."

"I was in Amsterdam last week and all I could hear were Americans talking so loudly. There were so many of them as well… Or maybe it was the same group talking so loud I could hear them from different parts in the city."

"It's crazy, I was in Utrecht the other day. There's probably 150 people drinking outside enjoying the sun and chatting and you can still easily spot the American from a distance so loud."

"Yeah that's the first thing that hit me arriving into JFK from the UK, I knew about the stereotype but honestly wasn't prepared! I feel like at some point in history you had a deaf leader and everyone just went along with it similar to the King of Spain's lisp."

For better and for worse, being an American comes with some distinct qualities we might not see until we venture elsewhere. What would you add to the list?