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People share 'very American problems' that many Americans don't realize are unique to the U.S.

What we see as "normal" is not normal everywhere.

getting fired, losing your job with no notice, laid off without warning
Photo credit: Canva

Apparently, losing your job without notice is an American phenomenon.

When you live in one country your whole life, it's easy to form ideas about what's "normal" and what's not. Cultural standards and accepted norms vary country by country, though, sometimes in dramatic ways that we wouldn't even think of.

That's why when someone asked, "What’s a very American problem that Americans don’t realize isn’t normal in other countries?" the answers were eye-opening. Seeing major aspects of American life that are not realities in other countries, especially other wealthy, developed nations, is wild. It's also a good reminder that we all have things to learn from one another and the things we might think of as impossible actually aren't.

from AskReddit

Lots to think about here as we ponder our quality of life and what's worth trying harder to change:

The cost of healthcare and medical bankruptcy

"Was in Germany with food poisoning. Drove myself to the ER. They were SHOOK when I told them I did. They then quietly told me you don't pay for ambulances there."

"I’ve never understood why police and firefighters get covered but we get a bill for ambulances. You'd think anything related to 911 is covered by our taxes."

ambulance ride, er visit, emergency room, medical costs. emergencyAmbulance rides can cost a pretty penny in the U.S.Photo credit: Canva

"First time I was living in Japan (didn’t understand the healthcare yet) and took a cab to the ER. They were so concerned and confused why I would do that. I was seen immediately, given IV, six medications on my way out: it only cost my like 60$USD. My friend apologized for how I had to pay so much as a non-citizen. I was shocked it was so cheap."

"I had a cancer diagnosis in 2019 and I joined an online support group. Americans were worried about the costs or losing their job because of missed days for treatment and doctors appointments. I'm Canadian. None of that stuff was any part of my worries. FYI, we got it all. I'm good."

"Yea the amount of GoFundMe’s for just like routine life medical s__t is wild."

"Breaking Bad would not have happened anywhere else but the US."

Prescription drug commercials

"I can’t even afford to go to the doctor. What makes you think I would book an appointment to see a doctor and ask for a drug that could give me 'blindness, or even death.'"

list of side effects, gif, America, drugs, problemsSide effects from drugs, GIF by Eternal FamilyGiphy

"I really love the ones that can give you 'potentially fatal disintegration of the perineum.'"

"This sports game brought to you by a prescription drug with a long list of horrifying side effects!"

Losing your job without notice

"That you can lose your job without warning. No notice period where you can get paid while looking for something else. Just getting thrown out of a workplace you've been at for years, with your belongings. And that this can lead to losing your right to proper health care because of insurance. Basically, no rights and no safety net. Only the rich seem to get severance packages."

"In my first job in Europe, I and the university screwed up majorly with my visa and I ended up stranded in Canada for a couple of weeks waiting to fix it. When I wrote to my boss to tell him what happened, I reassured him that I knew I'd probably lose my job over this etc. He was shocked that I even thought it was a possibility."

being fired, losing job, lay off, America, being laid off with no noticeOther countries have policies that prevent being let go with no notice.Photo credit: Canva

"Here in Ireland, there's been multiple instances where American-run companies think they can fire/lay off employees just like in America, and end up getting legal proceedings taken against them as a result."

"In Norway 3 months notice with pay is the standard."

No guaranteed maternity leave

"I still can't believe paid maternity leave is not a standard thing. And shit like women going back to work two weeks after giving birth. What is going on?"

"I know of a company that was bought out by an American company. They tried to enforce American rules on maternity leave. It did not work out well for them."

Pregnant woman, maternity leave, pregnancy, America, american parental leave policiesPaid parental leave is not guaranteed in the U.S.Photo credit: Canva

"The company I worked for denied my maternity leave and then approved it and then fired me for a system error that I begged them to fix for month. One that I didn’t cause. The maternity leave wasn’t even paid, it was just so I could return to work."

"I'm sorry, not an American. How are people meant to deal with raising a child without a maternity leave?"

Vacation time is seen as a luxury

"Getting time off. 2 weeks here feels like a lot. You work a bunch to get some more time off after x number of years. Other countries can get a month off no issue it seems like."

"I'm in the UK, I get 6 weeks plus bank holidays. I want more, asked for more, so my manager checked with HR. He now can approve another 3 weeks unpaid every year without needing further approval.

Also my American colleagues get the same benefits including 6 months paternity leave (full pay). He used it and he said his family genuinely questioned if he'd been fired and was trying to hide it. 😂"

"The law in France forces me to take 2 consecutive weeks between May and October of each year. After that I still have almost 6 weeks of vacation left on top of public holidays. You can take 3 weeks in a row without issue, but 4+ requires some negotiation, but it really depends on your job and company, for some it's a non-issue."

vacation time, time off from work, sitting by the pool, relaxingVacation time is seen as a given, not a luxury, in Europe and Australia.Photo credit: Canva

"I get 4 weeks Annual Leave a year + 2 weeks sick leave [in Australia]. They accrue and the annual leave must be paid out when you leave the company. I also get Long Service Leave (13 weeks at 10 years of service and 1.3 weeks every year after that.)"

"A friend of mine has like 5-6 weeks vacation per year in the US. Hasn't taken more than a week off within a year for years now. And I don't even think it's a full week as a block. He just takes 5 days max within the year."

Gun violence

"Guns. So many guns. So much gun violence. Just not an issue in other countries."

"Active shooter drills for kids in school. Bullet proof backpacks."

"One of the things that may surprise Americans, is that over in Europe and other places in the world, we don't do gun drills at schools or other places. We don't simply need to, because firearms offences are so low."

Protesters, holding signs, advocating unity, action, anti-gun sentimentsGun violence and active shooter drills are not the norm in other developed nations.Photo credit: Canva

"There are a lot of developed countries with a lot of guns. Canada, Switzerland, Finland, for example. Heck, even the UK has a lot of shot guns in the countryside.

The American culture of gun violence is unmatched in the developed world. It's not quite as bad as some Central America or under developed countries, but it's definitely an outlier in developed countries...I guess that is just America in general."

There are lots of wonderful things about the United States, but that doesn't mean there aren't places we could improve. Sure, some of these things are enormous, systemic things that are difficult to change, but knowing they're not "normal," only normal for Americans, might give us an extra push to advocate for what we really want as a people.

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Mental Health

Motivation expert explains how two simple words can free you from taking things personally

You don't need to take responsibility for everything and everyone.

via TEDx SF/Flickr and TEDx SF/Flickr

Mel Robbins making a TED Talk.

Towards the end of The Beatles’ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote “Let it Be,” a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.

The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations, and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control. “It’s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,” Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. “We can’t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.”

This idea of giving up control (or the illusion of it) when it does us no good was perfectly distilled into two words that everyone can understand: "Let Them." This is officially known as the “Let Them” theory. Podcast host, author, motivational speaker and former lawyer Mel Robbins explained this theory perfectly in a vial Instagram video posted in May 2023.

“I just heard about this thing called the ‘Let Them Theory,’ I freaking love this,” Robbins starts the video.

“If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them. If the person that you're really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, let them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, let them.” Robbins says in the clip. “So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations.”

“If they’re not showing up how you want them to show up, do not try to force them to change; let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them – and then you get to choose what you do next,” she continued.

The phrase is a great one to keep in your mental health tool kit because it’s a reminder that, for the most part, we can’t control other people. And if we can, is it worth wasting the emotional energy? Especially when we can allow people to behave as they wish and then we can react to them however we choose?

@melrobbins

Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.” 💥 Listen now on the #melrobbinspodcast!! “The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About” 🔗 in bio #melrobbins #letthemtheory #letgo #lettinggo #podcast #podcastepisode

How you respond to their behavior can significantly impact how they treat you in the future.

It’s also incredibly freeing to relieve yourself of the responsibility of changing people or feeling responsible for their actions. As the old Polish proverb goes, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“Yes! It’s much like a concept propelled by the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.’ Save your energy and set your boundaries accordingly. It’s realizing that we only have “control” over ourselves and it’s so freeing,” one viewer wrote.

“Let It Be” brought Paul McCartney solace as he dealt with losing his band in a very public breakup. The same state of mind can help all of us, whether it’s dealing with parents living in the past, friends who change and you don’t feel like you know them anymore, or someone who cuts you off in traffic because they’re in a huge rush to go who knows where.

The moment someone gets on your nerves and you feel a jolt of anxiety run up your back, take a big breath and say, “Let them.”

let them theory, let it be, paul mccartney, the beatles, exhalethe beatles wave GIFGiphy

This article originally appeared last year.

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Joy

Professional baby namer lists the most popular '80s girls' names that did not age well'

Bad news for the Heathers and Ashleys of the world.

Photo credit: Canva, @namingbebe, TikTok

There was a time when every other girl was named Ashley. That time has ended.

As we know, baby name trends are constantly changing. One generation’s Barbara is another generation’s Bethany. But it doesn’t make it any less odd when you suddenly realize that your very own name has suddenly made it into the “old and unhip” pile. And for many of us 80s babies…that time is now.

In a now-viral TikTok post, baby name consultant Colleen Slagen went through the top 100 girl names from 1986 to find which ones “did not age well” and were no longer ranked top 1,000 today. Such a descent from popularity would mark them as what she calls “timestamp names.” Spoiler alert: what might be even more surprising than the names now considered old school are the names that are still going strong.

The first name that Slagen says is “officially out” is Heather. That’s right, not even cult movie fame could help it keep its ranking.

heather, heathers, winona ryder, classic movies, actressWinona Ryder in Heathers.media3.giphy.com

Other extinct names include Erica, Courtney, Lindsay, Tara, Crystal, Shannon, Brandy and Dana. Tiffany, Brittany and Casey are also heading very much in that direction.

“My name is Brandy. The Gen Z hostess at Olive Garden told me that she’d never heard my name before and it was so unique,” one viewer wrote.

However, Andrea ranks “surprisingly high,” and Jessica, Ashley and Stephanie have survived…so far.

Gobsmacked, one person asked “How is Stephanie still in there? I don’t think I’ve met a Stephanie younger than myself at 34.”

But the biggest holdout still belongs to Jennifer. “She was a top 100 name all the way up until 2008. Round of applause for Jennifer,” Slagen says in the clip.

@namingbebe

Sorry Lindsay, Heather, and Courtney. #babynames #nametok #nameconsultant #girlnames #80skid #1986 #nametrend


If your name has found its way into relic of a bygone era status, fret not. Slagen, whose name also ranks out of the top 1000, assures it just means “we are creatures of the 80's.”Of course, while we still have baby names that become incredibly common for extended periods of time (looking at you, little Liam and Olivia), the real contemporary trend is going for uniqueness. As an article in The Atlantic notes, for most of American history families tended to name their children after a previous family member, with the goal of blending in, rather than standing out. But now, things have changed.

Recently, Kelley Cole went viral on TikTok for a video in which she shared the names that Gen Z teens think are now officially for "old ladies," which they read right out of a classroom from 1985. “I was told my name was an old lady's name by the teenagers on the adolescent unit I was working on,” she begins her video. “I was surprised, so the subject came up of what names are old lady names versus young names.”

@kelleykelleykelley

#oldladynames #names #girlnames #babynames #popularnames #trendynames #genx #millennial #genxnames

Laura Wattenberg, the founder of Namerology, told the outlet that “Parents are thinking about naming kids more like how companies think about naming products, which is a kind of competitive marketplace where you need to be able to get attention to succeed.”

But again, even with a keen eye on individualism, patterns pop up. “The same thing we see in fashion trend cycles, we see in names,” Jessie Paquette, another professional baby namer, told Vox. “We’re seeing Eleanor, Maude, Edith—cool-girl grandma names.”

So who knows…give it time (or maybe just a pop song) and one of these 80s names could make a comeback.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Family

Middle-class families share how much they have in their savings accounts and it's eye-opening

"We make the most money we ever have and have zero savings. We live paycheck to paycheck and every month I don’t know how we get by."

Photo by Karolina Kaboompics/Pexels

Many middle class families are sharing that they have nothing in savings right now.

According to an April 2024 Gallup poll, 54% of Americans identify as part of the middle class, with 39% identifying as "middle class" and 15% identifying as "upper-middle class." That percentage has held fairly steady for years, but what it feels like to be a middle-class American has shifted for many.

Notably, inflation caused by the pandemic has hit middle-class families hard, with incomes not keeping up with cost-of-living increases. Housing costs have skyrocketed in many areas of the country, mortgage interest rates have risen to levels not seen since the pre-Obama era, and grocery bills have increased significantly. One government study found that the cost of living has increased between around $800 and $1,300 a month, depending on the state, since 2021, putting a squeeze on everyone, including the middle class.

How much money do middle-class Americans have in their savings accounts?

One woman shared that her family is just getting by and asked other middle-class people to "chime in" with what they have in their savings accounts.

@abbyy..rosee

somethings gotta give #savings #middleclass #relatable

"I swear, every paycheck I am putting money into my savings, but needing to transfer it back within a few days," shared @abbyy..rosee on TikTok. "My registration is due. My husband's registration is due. He needed two new tires, even though they had a warranty. That's $300. My oldest needs braces, he needs a palate expander, that's $120 a month. Not to mention groceries are $200 more a week. Forget about feeding your family great ingredients because who has $500 a week to spend on perfect ingredients to feed your family?"

middle class, cash, savings, family finances, dollar bills, A depressed couple doing their bills.via Canva/Photos

She explained that her husband makes enough money that they should be able to live comfortably, and that she quit her job because the cost of daycare was more than she was making.

"At some point, something has to give," she said. "What is going on? How do I save money?"

People in the comments chimed in with their savings account totals and it was quite eye-opening. Many people shared that they have $0 saved.

"We make the most money we ever have and have zero savings. We live paycheck to paycheck and every month I don’t know how we get by."

"I think the middle class is 1 personal disaster away from bankruptcy."

"Y’all got savings accounts?!?! 😂"

"I used to freak out if I had under $10k in savings, now I’m happy when I have over $150. 😫"

"We make almost 100,000 a year with no savings!!!! It's always something!!"

"I'm lucky if we have $500-$1K for an emergency. Every single time we start saving, something happens: the vet, the cars, the kids... something."

"Savings account? I transfer money each paycheck but always end up needing to transfer it back. My husband makes great money too but we are scraping by."

"$803 but we have to pay a $750 deductible this week b/c my Husband hit a deer soooo… back at it 😭 It’s exhausting. Constantly draining it, refilling it, transferring."


middle class, cash, savings, family finances, dollar bills, An upset couple doing their bills.via Canva/Photos

Some people shared that they do have some savings, but several said it was because they'd had an inheritance or other chunk of money come their way. Many people shared that their savings has dwindled as increased costs have taken their toll. Some people gave lifestyle advice to save money, but most agreed that just the basics have gotten so expensive it's harder to make ends meet much less put extra into savings.

Thankfully, the inflation issue appears to be waning, but even just plateauing at their current financial reality isn't ideal for many American families. Middle class is supposed to be a comfortable place to be—not rich, but well enough off to feel secure. That's not how many middle class folks feel, though. Most Americans don't have anything close to the amount of money saved that is recommended across the age spectrum, but at least hearing that others are in the same boat is somewhat comforting.

middle class, cash, savings, family finances, dollar bills, An upset couple doing their bills.via Canva/Photos

Further, a 2024 study found that 37% of Americans can't afford an unexpected expense over $400, and nearly a quarter of them don't have any emergency savings at all. “Not all surprises are good, and people know it. The study suggests financial precarity at a time when household finances may be stretched due to rising prices and inflation,” says Rebecca Rickert, head of communications at Empower. “Life happens, and people are stressed about the surprise expenses that could tip them off-balance.”

It can be vulnerable to share your financial reality, but it's helpful to hear what other people are doing and dealing with so we all feel less alone when we're struggling. Perhaps if people were more open about money, we'd all be able to help one another find ways to improve our financial situations rather than lamenting our empty savings accounts and wondering how to change them.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Pets

Stray shelter dog didn't know what to do with her first toy but melted with affection

Katie's smelly, itchy skin condition didn't stop Rocky Kanaka from scooping her into his arms.

Rocky Kanaka/YouTube (used with permission)

Katie's had a rough life, but hope has arrived.

When Rocky Kanaka first met Katie, a scruffy beige Australian Shepherd mix, he thought she was a senior dog. As it turned out, the shelter pup was only about a year old. She had just been found by a good samaritan as a stray, her fur and skin in terrible shape, her paws swollen and her spirit muted. She didn't even want to look at Kanaka when he first entered the kennel to sit with her.

That all changed as he took the time to sit with her and earn her trust. Kanaka has gained a huge following on YouTube with his videos sitting with shelter dogs, and his way with them is truly inspiring. He brings his own home-baked treats and a huge amount of patience and compassion, helping abandoned animals learn that humans can be kind and caring companions.

rescue dog, shelter dog, rocky kanaka, animal welfare, petsKatie hasn't had a chance to learn to be a dog.rockykanaka.com

Katie is one of many dogs Kanaka has visited, and her behavior in the kennel showed him that she hadn't had much of a chance in her short life to learn how to be a dog.

"Introducing toys to Katie was its own adventure," Kanaka wrote. "I mean, you’d think a toy is just a toy, but for Katie, it was like I’d brought a puzzle from another planet. First up was the unicorn toy, all colorful and plush. To me, it screamed fun, but to Katie, it was a head-scratcher. She eyed it like it was going to come alive any second. Honestly, watching her try to figure it out was both heartwarming and a bit funny. It was a reminder that she hadn’t had the chance to just be a dog, to play without a care in the world."

He tried a squeaky toy, which she also didn't know what to do with and found overwhelming after a few squeaks. She took Kanaka's treats, but not immediately and not in the way a dog who understands the concept of treats would.

But throughout the video, the stray pup responded to Kanaka's affection and love by melting right into it. She even wanted to sit in his lap toward the end, but didn't seem to know how. Kanaka scooped her up, despite the foul smell her skin condition created, and it's clear that this pupper just loves being loved.

Watch:

- YouTubeyoutu.be

It's hard for animals with obvious health issues, especially something as visible as a skin condition that makes them look and smell bad, to attract people looking to adopt. But by taking half an hour to get to know her, Kanaka helped us all look past all that and see Katie's sweet spirit shine through.

So many people fell in head over heels for Katie through this video:

"OMG, The person who gets her will have the best dog as she is so obviously starved for affection and so willing to give it back ten fold."

"That dog doesn't have an aggressive bone in her body. she was instantly ready for you to pet her."

rescue dog, shelter dog, rocky kanaka, animal welfare, petsKatie loved getting pets from Rocky.rockykanaka.com

"Her little tail wag broke my heart for what’s she’s been through but also lifted my spirits that she has a strength to survive and become a loved family member."

"It's shocking how neglected she looks but her desire to be loved is so strong. She's going to bring such joy to her forever home."

"I consider myself somewhat of a tough guy.... I'm from the streets, had a crazy hard life, i did 9 yrs in prison, seen it all, done it all and ain't scared of nothing... I'm telling you that because in spite all that, when i see videos like this, i start crying like a 5 yr old girl...Goes to show you that what life has done to them, we can relate, and we see it in animals that have been hurt by others and part if me wants to knock out someone that would hurt a dog or kitty like that. Animals bring out the love and compassion we've forgotten because we know they're teaching us what we definitely need to learn. What is truly considered, unconditional love...."

Not long after this video aired, Katie was rescued and will hopefully continue to get the tender care and kindness she deserves. Rocky Kanaka's work with dogs is both inspiring and informative, and he's succeeded in helping so many dogs find forever homes instead of languishing in shelters because they don't make the best first impression.

Kanaka has also started a dog rescue coffee farm in Southern California because, as he says, "Nothing's better than dogs and coffee." Isn't that the truth?

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

You can read Katie's full story on Kanaka's website here. You can also follow Rocky Kanaka's channels on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Sad Gen Xer has a long list of names that Gen Z teens say are strictly for ‘old ladies’

Sorry, Ashley, Amanda, and Lisa, you're the new Gertrude.

via Canva/Photos

A Gen X woman confronting her age.

It’s impossible to give someone a timeless name unless you choose one with a religious connotation that people will also return to, no matter how popular, such as Mohammed or John. So, unless your parents think of something out of the box, your name will probably be identified with your generation.

It’s hard to escape the fact that once rare names become popular for about 15 years, until they are so ubiquitous that people tire of them, and then they drop in popularity pretty rapidly. If you look at this baby name visualizer, it’s easy to see this simple, repeatable trend.

If you look at the name Jennifer, you’ll see it began to become popular in the late '60s, peaking in the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, and then steeply declining. Hence, when people hear the name Jennifer, they assume you’re a Gen Xer (1965 to 1980).

baby names, jennifer popularity, baby name visualizer, jetpack ai, trendsThe historic popularity of the name Jennifer. via Baby Name Visualizer

Brian, another Gen X name, has a similar trajectory as Jennifer. One wonders how many Brians and Jennifers got married in the early 2000s?

baby names, brian popularity, baby name visualizer, jetpack ai, trendsThe historic popularity of the name Brian. via Baby Name Visualizer

Kelley Cole, a registered remote nurse, had a harsh realization recently when talking to some younger people at work. Her name and the girls she grew up with are now seen as old people's names by teens. “I was told my name was an old lady's name by the teenagers on the adolescent unit I was working on,” she begins her video. “I was surprised, so the subject came up of what names are old lady names versus young names.”


@kelleykelleykelley

#oldladynames #names #girlnames #babynames #popularnames #trendynames #genx #millennial #genxnames

Here’s a list of names the Gen Z kids think are for “old ladies.”

Ashley

Amanda

Jessica

Stephanie

Jennifer

Christy

Tracey

Stacey

Amy

Crystal

Kelly

Lisa

Jordan

Michelle

Shelley

Laura

Lori

Cathy

Tammy

Heather

Angela/Angie

gen x, old lady names, grandma names, old people names, baby namesGen X woman looks at her laptop.via Canva/Photos

Here’s a list of names that the Gen Z kids think are “young people's” names:

Bella

Isabelle

Olivia

Olive

Ava

Eden

Emma

Abigail/Abby

Ella

Gracie

Zoë

Rose

happy young woman, happy teen, brunette woman, smile, woman touching faceA woman with black hair smiling. via Canva/Photos

The funny thing is that the so-called “young people's” names are all part of a trend where people began giving their children older names. “I feel like all the ‘young girl’ names were on the Titanic,” Jennifer (probably a Gen Xer) wrote in the comments. “They're not wrong because we ain't young anymore, but the young ones have great-grandma names,” Tikitinax added.


But some people couldn’t deny that the Gen Z kids were pretty spot on in their list. It reads like a roll call for children in the second grade in 1985. "I'm 42, and you just listed every girl I went to high school with. Kids nailed it," Dave wrote. "Hey! All those 'old lady names' are my friends! What the heck," Schmack wrote.

If your name got filed onto the “old lady” list, it may sting a bit, but it's just part of the natural baby name cycle. Today’s cute baby name is tomorrow’s PTA president, and future Medicare recipient. The good news is that even though Ava and Zoë may be laughing now, in just a few years, they’ll find themselves on the “old lady” list, too.

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