Sandra Bullock nailed why we should stop saying 'adopted child'

All right, real talk: When's the last time you heard a parent refer to their kid as their "whoops, we forgot to use protection" child? What about their "it took a lot of help from doctors to make this happen" child?

No one talks like that! (OK, other than in a Judd Apatow comedy.) They'd sound ridiculous. Your kids are your kids — regardless of how they became a part of your family. Why do we so often forget to apply that understanding to children who've been adopted?


It's a question actress Sandra Bullock wants people to think about a bit more critically.

Photo by Anthony Harvey/Getty Images.

Bullock has two kids: 8-year-old Louis and 5-year-old Laila. Louis is the supersensitive one. "I call him my 78-year-old son," she recently told InStyle. And Laila is downright fearless. "She's a fighter, and that's the reason she's here today. She fought to keep her spirit intact."

Bullock adopted Louis in 2010 and Laila, who'd been in foster care, in 2015. When asked by InStyle's Glynis Costin if the overall situation for kids in foster care is improving, the actress got emotional: "Not quickly enough," she answered.

"Look: I'm all for Republican, Democrat, whatever," Bullock continued. "But don't talk to me about what I can or can't do with my body until you've taken care of every child who doesn't have a home or is neglected or abused."

The actress then brought up a great point: Why do we even feel it's necessary to use the term "adopted child"?

"It makes me teary-eyed [wells up]. Let's all just refer to these kids as 'our kids.' Don't say, 'my adopted child.' No one calls their kid their 'IVF child' or their 'Oh, shit, I went to a bar and got knocked-up child.' Let's just say, 'our children.'"

Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

Damn right, Bullock.

Hearing your kid referred to as an "adopted child" — as if it's crucial to qualify any kid as such — can be a hurtful way of suggesting, albeit unintentionally, that they're somehow less than your own.

It's an issue Upworthy writer Laura Willard explored in 2015: "9 things this adoptive mom would like everyone to know." In the piece, Willard noted how the language we use while speaking about parents who adopt or kids who've been adopted can make a world of difference.

For instance, please don't ask Willard if she plans to "have any kids of [her] own." Her kids are her own.

"It's a wording issue for most adults," Willard explained of the question. "But for kids who are struggling with attachment or working to feel secure in their families, those words matter. When you ask this in front of kids who were adopted, you might be shaking an already unstable foundation the family has worked hard to build."

These might seem like relatively small and inconsequential changes. But to parents and kids alike, they matter!

Families are not made with cookie cutters, after all. They come in all sizes, colors, ages, and genders — and no one construct is more legitimate than any other.

It's important that the language we use acknowledges this reality.

As Bullock told People magazine in 2015: “If a traditional home is one that is filled with lots of love and poop jokes, no sleep, schedule books filled with more kids' social events than adults' and lots of yelling over who touched who first … then I have a very traditional family."

If you've never seen a Maori haka performed, you're missing out.

The Maori are the indigenous peoples of New Zealand, and their language and customs are an integral part of the island nation. One of the most recognizable Maori traditions outside of New Zealand is the haka, a ceremonial dance or challenge usually performed in a group. The haka represents the pride, strength, and unity of a tribe and is characterized by foot-stamping, body slapping, tongue protrusions, and rhythmic chanting.

Haka is performed at weddings as a sign of reverence and respect for the bride and groom and are also frequently seen before sports competitions, such as rugby matches.

Here's an example of a rugby haka:

Keep Reading Show less
True

If the past year has taught us nothing else, it's that sending love out into the world through selfless acts of kindness can have a positive ripple effect on people and communities. People all over the United States seemed to have gotten the message — 71% of those surveyed by the World Giving Index helped a stranger in need in 2020. A nonprofit survey found 90% helped others by running errands, calling, texting and sending care packages. Many people needed a boost last year in one way or another and obliging good neighbors heeded the call over and over again — and continue to make a positive impact through their actions in this new year.

Upworthy and P&G Good Everyday wanted to help keep kindness going strong, so they partnered up to create the Lead with Love Fund. The fund awards do-gooders in communities around the country with grants to help them continue on with their unique missions. Hundreds of nominations came pouring in and five winners were selected based on three criteria: the impact of action, uniqueness, and "Upworthy-ness" of their story.

Here's a look at the five winners:

Edith Ornelas, co-creator of Mariposas Collective in Memphis, Tenn.

Edith Ornelas has a deep-rooted connection to the asylum-seeking immigrant families she brings food and supplies to families in Memphis, Tenn. She was born in Jalisco, Mexico, and immigrated to the United States when she was 7 years old with her parents and sister. Edith grew up in Chicago, then moved to Memphis in 2016, where she quickly realized how few community programs existed for immigrants. Two years later, she helped create Mariposas Collective, which initially aimed to help families who had just been released from detention centers and were seeking asylum. The collective started out small but has since grown to approximately 400 volunteers.

Keep Reading Show less
via Budweiser

Budweiser beer, and its low-calorie counterpart, Bud Light, have created some of the most memorable Super Bowl commercials of the past 37 years.

There were the Clydesdales playing football and the poor lost puppy who found its way home because of the helpful horses. Then there were the funny frogs who repeated the brand name, "Bud," "Weis," "Er."

We can't forget the "Wassup?!" ad that premiered in December 1999, spawning the most obnoxious catchphrase of the new millennium.

Keep Reading Show less
via Good Morning America

Anyone who's an educator knows that teaching is about a lot more than a paycheck. "Teaching is not a job, but a way of life, a lens by which I see the world, and I can't imagine a life that did not include the ups and downs of changing and being changed by other people," Amber Chandler writes in Education Week.

So it's no surprise that Kelly Klein, 54, who's taught at Falcon Heights Elementary in Falcon Heights, Minnesota, for the past 32 years still teaches her kindergarten class even as she is being treated for stage-3 ovarian cancer.

Her class is learning remotely due to the COIVD-19 pandemic, so she is able to continue doing what she loves from her computer at M Health Fairview Lakes Medical Center in Wyoming, Minnesota, even while undergoing chemotherapy.

Keep Reading Show less