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Sandra Bullock nailed why we should stop saying 'adopted child'

Sandra Bullock nailed why we should stop saying 'adopted child'

All right, real talk: When's the last time you heard a parent refer to their kid as their "whoops, we forgot to use protection" child? What about their "it took a lot of help from doctors to make this happen" child?

No one talks like that! (OK, other than in a Judd Apatow comedy.) They'd sound ridiculous. Your kids are your kids — regardless of how they became a part of your family. Why do we so often forget to apply that understanding to children who've been adopted?


It's a question actress Sandra Bullock wants people to think about a bit more critically.

Photo by Anthony Harvey/Getty Images.

Bullock has two kids: 8-year-old Louis and 5-year-old Laila. Louis is the supersensitive one. "I call him my 78-year-old son," she recently told InStyle. And Laila is downright fearless. "She's a fighter, and that's the reason she's here today. She fought to keep her spirit intact."

Bullock adopted Louis in 2010 and Laila, who'd been in foster care, in 2015. When asked by InStyle's Glynis Costin if the overall situation for kids in foster care is improving, the actress got emotional: "Not quickly enough," she answered.

"Look: I'm all for Republican, Democrat, whatever," Bullock continued. "But don't talk to me about what I can or can't do with my body until you've taken care of every child who doesn't have a home or is neglected or abused."

The actress then brought up a great point: Why do we even feel it's necessary to use the term "adopted child"?

"It makes me teary-eyed [wells up]. Let's all just refer to these kids as 'our kids.' Don't say, 'my adopted child.' No one calls their kid their 'IVF child' or their 'Oh, shit, I went to a bar and got knocked-up child.' Let's just say, 'our children.'"

Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

Damn right, Bullock.

Hearing your kid referred to as an "adopted child" — as if it's crucial to qualify any kid as such — can be a hurtful way of suggesting, albeit unintentionally, that they're somehow less than your own.

It's an issue Upworthy writer Laura Willard explored in 2015: "9 things this adoptive mom would like everyone to know." In the piece, Willard noted how the language we use while speaking about parents who adopt or kids who've been adopted can make a world of difference.

For instance, please don't ask Willard if she plans to "have any kids of [her] own." Her kids are her own.

"It's a wording issue for most adults," Willard explained of the question. "But for kids who are struggling with attachment or working to feel secure in their families, those words matter. When you ask this in front of kids who were adopted, you might be shaking an already unstable foundation the family has worked hard to build."

These might seem like relatively small and inconsequential changes. But to parents and kids alike, they matter!

Families are not made with cookie cutters, after all. They come in all sizes, colors, ages, and genders — and no one construct is more legitimate than any other.

It's important that the language we use acknowledges this reality.

As Bullock told People magazine in 2015: “If a traditional home is one that is filled with lots of love and poop jokes, no sleep, schedule books filled with more kids' social events than adults' and lots of yelling over who touched who first … then I have a very traditional family."

All images provided by Prudential Emerging Visionaries

Collins after being selected by Prudential Emerging Visionaries

True

A changemaker is anyone who takes creative action to solve an ongoing problem—be it in one’s own community or throughout the world.

And when it comes to creating positive change, enthusiasm and a fresh perspective can hold just as much power as years of experience. That’s why, every year, Prudential Emerging Visionaries celebrates young people for their innovative solutions to financial and societal challenges in their communities.

This national program awards 25 young leaders (ages 14-18) up to $15,000 to devote to their passion projects. Additionally, winners receive a trip to Prudential’s headquarters in Newark, New Jersey, where they receive coaching, skills development, and networking opportunities with mentors to help take their innovative solutions to the next level.

For 18-year-old Sydnie Collins, one of the 2023 winners, this meant being able to take her podcast, “Perfect Timing,” to the next level.

Since 2020, the Maryland-based teen has provided a safe platform that promotes youth positivity by giving young people the space to celebrate their achievements and combat mental health stigmas. The idea came during the height of Covid-19, when Collins recalled social media “becoming a dark space flooded with news,” which greatly affected her own anxiety and depression.

Knowing that she couldn’t be the only one feeling this way, “Perfect Timing” seemed like a valuable way to give back to her community. Over the course of 109 episodes, Collins has interviewed a wide range of guests—from other young influencers to celebrities, from innovators to nonprofit leaders—all to remind Gen Z that “their dreams are tangible.”

That mission statement has since evolved beyond creating inspiring content and has expanded to hosting events and speaking publicly at summits and workshops. One of Collins’ favorite moments so far has been raising $7,000 to take 200 underserved girls to see “The Little Mermaid” on its opening weekend, to “let them know they are enough” and that there’s an “older sister” in their corner.

Of course, as with most new projects, funding for “Perfect Timing” has come entirely out of Collins’ pocket. Thankfully, the funding she earned from being selected as a Prudential Emerging Visionary is going toward upgraded recording equipment, the support of expert producers, and skill-building classes to help her become a better host and public speaker. She’ll even be able to lease an office space that allows for a live audience.

Plus, after meeting with the 24 other Prudential Emerging Visionaries and her Prudential employee coach, who is helping her develop specific action steps to connect with her target audience, Collins has more confidence in a “grander path” for her work.

“I learned that my network could extend to multiple spaces beyond my realm of podcasting and journalism when industry leaders are willing to share their expertise, time, and financial support,” she told Upworthy. “It only takes one person to change, and two people to expand that change.”

Prudential Emerging Visionaries is currently seeking applicants for 2024. Winners may receive up to $15,000 in awards and an all-expenses-paid trip to Prudential’s headquarters with a parent or guardian, as well as ongoing coaching and skills development to grow their projects.

If you or someone you know between the ages of 14 -18 not only displays a bold vision for the future but is taking action to bring that vision to life, click here to learn more. Applications are due by Nov. 2, 2023.
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