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Men's Health

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There is nothing unmanly about taking a bubble bath.

As society rethinks and reshapes the use of gender roles, both sexes (and everywhere in-between) are finding more opportunities to explore previously repressed aspects of themselves. It often feels like the Wild West of gender identity—an exciting new time to break through tired paradigms in search for something that is a better fit. We can see this on both a macro and micro scale, from something as widespread as more countries legalizing same sex marriage to something as simple as a man rocking a pencil skirt and heels. Each are radical in their own way.

A Reddit user asked men to name some “unmanly” things they did that they weren’t ashamed of. Their answers, though fun to read, also have an interesting through line, one of embracing sensitivity. Or, rather, their femininity. From self-care, to arts and crafts, to crying during Disney movies, each of these activities challenges the long accepted—and often problematic—belief of what makes a man a "man."

Psychology Today contributor Tyger Latham, Psy.D. writes that “Most of us immediately identify with the adage that to be a man often means: being tough, staying in control, never crying, working through physical pain, providing for your family, and never backing down from a fight. While such roles provide men with an operational model in which to exist, they can also be extremely restrictive.” He even described a condition known as alexithymia, quite literally meaning “without words for emotions,” that many male clients encounter while trying to express what’s happening on the inside.

But what if the pursuit of happiness includes the pursuit of wholeness? Some would argue that the latter is more important altogether. Men—and women, for that matter—should be able to go fishing, knit while they wait on the pond, come home and throw on an exfoliating face mask while watching a rom-com. So yes, while these answers do serve as a lighthearted digital romp through the internet, they are also symbols of small, yet significant victories.

Without further ado, here are 18 “unmanly” things that are good for the soul, no matter the gender:


1. Sewing

“I think it is helpful for spatial reasoning, attention to detail, and creativity. It is basically construction out of a very thin, flexible material that requires the builder to create the object inside-out."

2. Bubble baths

“I don't take baths much but if I do you best believe there's gonna be bubbles galore in that bath.”

“Bath bombs rule, my favorite one turns the water black and sparkly and smells like peppermint.”

3. Cute voices for animals

“In high school there was a video shown in class, and when puppies came on screen I yelled 'PUPPIES!' in a ridiculous falsetto. I still have that reaction regularly when I see puppies.”

“I do this with puppies...kittens...cats...any cute animal…”

4. Prioritizing fashion … to the point of indecision

“There are literally a few minutes where I am stressed out wondering 'I wore that a few days ago; this is too similar to what I wore yesterday' and so on. This is mostly when getting ready for work, which is business casual. I have a dozen or so button-down shirts, but I still can't make up my damn mind.”

5. A love of all things hygge

“I love fuzzy socks, fuzzy blankets, fuzzy anything.”

“I love blankets. My birthday, Christmas, valentines day; just give me more blankets. Let me make a cave of blankets and hibernate straight through until spring.”

hyygesocks GIFGiphy

6. A fondness for stuffed animals

“I sleep with two stuffed animals. It would be three, but Pete the polar bear is now with my girlfriend in the Netherlands.”

“I still sleep with a teddy bear I got when I was 4. I'm 30 now. I hope to give it to my daughter when she is born/old enough.”

7. Checking out other guys

"I can tell when a guy is attractive, I have no sexual desire for dudes but I can tell if I find one good looking, i'd even go as far to say I have a type."

8. Enjoying domestic chores

"I love looking doing things for my wife...coffee and breakfast in bed everyday, I wash up, I pack her a lunch to take to work everyday, spoil her with little surprises a few times a month etc. Turns out my friends and my father all think I am whipped. They think she has me under her thumb. I guess they don't know that we split house chores in a number of ways but I chose to do extra things as I have some extra time since I don't have to commute - it feels fair to me.They also don't understand that when I lost my job my wife encouraged me to do my own thing and that she supported both of us for a long time to allow me to follow my dream. In short, my mates and father just don't understand or want to be with a woman who is a partner and equal in the relationship.”

9. Being the little spoon

"I'm nearly a foot taller than my girlfriend, but if we're cuddling in bed I like to be the little spoon, it's hilarious and comfy."

"I once was sitting on the floor and my girlfriend at the time was sitting on the couch giving me a back rub. She eventually wrapped her arms around me from behind and asked how it felt. 'Like this room is the only thing in the entire world.'"

“Sleeping as the little spoon is really nice because it makes you feel needed on a physical level which is really comforting."

10. Crying

“Personally, I think that it takes a lot more bravery to open yourself up to something special, such as love for a pet, than to keep everything around you at arms length to numb your own sensitivity (or vulnerability if you will) to anything. You display a willingness to express yourself, knowing full well that it could get you hurt, and then bear any resulting pain, ultimately overcoming it. What the hell could be more manly?”

“I will cry at any movie where a dog dies. Every, Single. Time. A Dog’s Purpose was a very unpleasant movie for me.”
men showing emotionsCry GIF by MasterChefAUGiphy

11. Gardening

“It’s great being able to grow things from just seeds."

12. Therapy

“Everyone needs a little bit of therapy. Even if you’re perfectly fine, everyone needs someone to talk to.”

13. Sharing feelings with the kids

"Hugging my kids, apologizing to them when I’m wrong ('sorry I accused you of making a mess outside, I just learned it was the neighbors’ kid'), and showing them it’s okay to have and express feelings. Yes, daddy can get teary eyed too when watching a sad movie. Also as an extension of apologizing for having done wrong, being able to back down. When in an argument and find out you’re wrong, it’s not weak to say 'I didn’t know that. Sorry, I was wrong.'”

14. Complimenting guy friends

"A lot of people feel it's not manly to do so but I think it's important and it feels great having a group of guys that doesn’t just bash each other all the time."

15. Interior decorating

“I spend a ridiculous amount of time looking up furniture/wall art/etc. just fantasizing about how I'm going to decorate it when I finally get my own place.”

16. Baking

“I just donned a pink apron with strawberries on it to help my girlfriend make a pie. Her family razzed me about it... but hey, no pie for them.”

“I bake and listen to Adele. Sometimes at the same time.”

17. Afternoon tea

“I don't care who you are. You haven't lived until you've eaten tiny cucumber sandwiches and scones off a three-story silver party platter.”

18. Self-care

self care for menChristian Bale Face Mask GIF by PeacockTVGiphy

“Manicures and pedicures, obviously no nail polish, but my hands and feet are usually a horrendous pile of dead skin and callouses from working out and my job. It makes me feel a little better about people seeing them, they don’t get all of them, but it definitely makes them look closer to normal.”

“I love doing a facial cleanse, tone and moisturize, makes your face feel awesome."

“I go full-on Bateman. Have multiple face masks, skin creams and hair products. Started as a way to bond with my sisters, ended up being something that centers me in the mornings and a comforting ritual a couple of times a night.”


This article originally appeared on 3.2.22

Health

Men's salons are changing the stigma around toupees one amazing transformation at a time

Toupees have gone from being the punchline of a joke to a celebrated form a self care.

@prismelites/TikTok

The smiles at the ends are priceless

Toupees are often used as the punchline to a joke in most media, shown as a desperately kept secret that will inevitably become exposed after a gust of wind, thus conveying just how pathetic the wearer is. Cue laughter.

However, take a look at any of the thousand of incredible transformations on TikTok, and you’ll see that hairpieces have made a comeback. Men of all ages and ethnicities nervously approach the barber’s chair, allow glue to be painted onto their freshly shaved head, and have a patch of perfectly matching hair placed on so well you’d never know it was fake.

The result is not only five, 10, even 20 years taken off the clock, but a newfound confidence that radiates off the screen. Indeed, these men are transformed.


Many salons, such as Prism Elites in Los Angeles, adopted the word “hair system” to avoid the negative associations with toupees. As Josh Williams, the man behind Prism Elites’ countless viral TikToks, can attest, there is still a major stigma surrounding them. Though most comments are highly supportive, some folks are either convinced toupees remain as artificial looking as they were some odd years ago, or they believe men should embrace their baldness to appear more masculine.

But judging from the incredible makeovers on their account (like the one below), there have undeniably been major advancements in the industry. Many of these “after” images look so natural you instantly forget what these men looked like before.

@prismelites What do you guys think of his new look? #hairreplacement #hairsystem #beforeafter #beforeandafter #transformation #hairtransformation #hairtrends ♬ About Damn Time


Plus, it almost goes without saying that beauty standards —for both men and women—come and go. Bald men might be commonly perceived as more attractive now, but that wasn’t the case only a few short years ago. And it most assuredly won’t be the case forever.

More to the point, there isn’t a one-size-fits all approach when it comes to looking and feeling our best. It’s clear from the way these men light up at seeing their new selves that having a head full of hair unlocks something for them. There’s an assuredness that comes through the screen. And seeing that moment really doesn’t get old.

@phildoeshair We offer mens hair replacement services in Manhattan, and invite you to schedule a consult with us if youre interested in receiving this service! Text our salon at 6233774247. New system service cost $950 reapplication monthly $260. #hairsystem #nonsurgicalhairreplacement #hairreplacement #nyc ♬ Montero x The Hub - Jude

There’s also the unspoken, outdated rule still lingering in society that grooming and caring for one’s appearance is considered feminine. Sports? Sure. Salons? Are you kidding, real men don’t do that. As Gregory Brown, founder and director of the Green Psychiatry Center told Mashable, "[men] think that if they're taking time for self-care, they're losing productivity, time from work. And that goes against what society tells us is masculine."

That’s what makes the simple act of proudly, publicly—sometimes virally—getting a toupee so revolutionary. It reflects a huge cultural mindset shift towards normalizing self care for men, which can lead to a more well-rounded mental and emotional state.

@prismelites We see you Luis! 🔥🔥🔥 #hairreplacement #hairsystems #hairsystem #beforeandafter #beforeafter #transformation #transformationchallenge #hairtransformation #hairtok #toupeetok #hairtransformations #transformations #crazytransformation #hairtrends #viraltransformation ♬ Drank in My Cup (Instrumental)

Of course confidence can be manifested from within, but sometimes allowing it to come from looking good is an amazing form of grace we can give ourselves. This is something many women know firsthand, and it’s great that both innovation and social media’s knack for spreading awareness are helping men find comfort in that fact as well.

The strong, silent cliché.

One of the most pervasive male stereotypes in advertising is the strong, silent type. The most famous of these is the Marlboro Man, a dude alone on horseback with a pack of cigarettes and nothing around him but cattle and a wide-open prairie.

Tom Nakayama at the Center for Media Literacy says that this stereotype damages men because it presents a very limited form of masculinity. “In general, these concentrated views of manhood suggest the many ways in which advertising negatively affects men by narrowing the definition of what it means to be a man in American society,” Nakayama writes.


As times change the jobs and scenarios that the aloof, silent man finds himself may change, but the message is still the same. This representative of the masculine ideal is little more than a romanticized meat suit of bottled aggression waiting to be unleashed.

Three years ago, videographer Connor Simmons had some fun with this stereotype by creating a video called, “How to Advertise to Men.” The mock commercial features a man photographed in black and white, walking alone near a mountain range and looking extremely bored.

The video’s producers note that this scenario can be used to sell just about any product.

"The product is irrelevant at this point, it could be aftershave or whisky or sunglasses or this watch. It really doesn't matter. What matters is, the product looks cool,” the deep-voiced narrator says.

The ad hopes to mock these cliché advertisements out of existence because they’re not great for the male psyche and they’re predictable and boring. Spread this video far and wide and maybe, just maybe, advertisers will be forced to come up with a new idea.


Health

New first-of-its-kind treatment for alopecia that triggers hair growth approved by FDA

The current treatment for alopecia is painful and long—this could change lives.

New treatment for alopecia.

Alopecia is something that affects people of all ethnicities, all over the world, and unfortunately effective treatment has been scarce. But there's potentially good news on the horizon for hair loss suffers. The FDA recently approved a drug called Olumiant, a systemic treatment for alopecia areata, the autoimmune disorder that causes hair loss. The drug works by interfering with the body’s confused messaging that tells it to attack hair follicles.


The world became instantly familiar with the word alopecia after the 2022 Oscars, where Will Smith infamously defended his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, after Chris Rock made a joke about her baldness. Pinkett Smith has alopecia and decided to forego treatment and instead to simply shave her head. She talked about how painful the treatments are on a recent episode of Red Table Talk. On the episode, a dermatologist explained the localized treatment, which involves needle pricks directly into the scalp with a needle containing medication. The process is lengthy and painful, and requires frequent visits for these scalp jabs in an attempt to stave off further hair loss. It’s no wonder that many people decide to embrace balding and shave their head instead.

The newly approved drug has been on the market in the U.S. since 2018 as a treatment for rheumatoid arthritis, and while it does have several mild to moderate side effects, one of them, hair regrowth, is what drew attention to it as a treatment for alopecia areata. The best news is that it's taken orally, and doesn’t involve any tiny jabs in the scalp.

In the FDA's announcement, Dr. Kendall Marcus, director of the Division of Dermatology and Dentistry in the FDA’s Center for Drug Evaluation and Research, said, “Access to safe and effective treatment options is crucial for the significant number of Americans affected by severe alopecia. Today's approval will help fulfill a significant unmet need for patients with severe alopecia areata."

In the clinical trials, between 32% and 35% of patients who received the higher of two tested doses had enough hair to cover 80% of their scalp after 36 weeks (compared with between 3% and 5% of patients who received a placebo). This definitely shows promise, despite observed side effects such as respiratory infections, acne, high cholesterol, headaches, fatigue, urinary tract infections and more. If you’ve ever watched a commercial for a new medication, these side effects shouldn’t come as a surprise, nor should they derail the excitement of a medication that could boost so many people’s mental health.

To date, there hasn't really been an effective noninvasive treatment for alopecia areata and while the condition isn’t life threatening, the mental effects can be detrimental. On the episode of Red Table Talk, the mother of 12-year-old Rio Allred told of how her daughter died by suicide, which she believed was linked to the bullying she received due to her alopecia. Depression, anxiety and negative body image are all risks associated with having the hair loss condition, especially in women.

While this new treatment won't be effective on everyone and it comes with a daunting number of potential side effects, it certainly offers hope for many as an improvement over the standard "needle" treatment. Hopefully researchers will continue to make progress on treatments for alopecia that are readily available and safe.