Moms carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. We know about the mental load and the stress and the impossible-to-meet expectations, but then there’s the physical workload, too: The hours of cleaning done every year, countless loads of laundry, untold amounts of time shuttling kids back and forth to school and friends’ houses and practice, the dozens of quick trips to the store and hours spent meal planning and cooking. If you were going to pay a person to do all of that for you, there’s no telling what it might cost! Or is there?
A new study from the folks at Insure.com has done the math and estimated that the average mother’s “salary”, a fair wage to compensate for all the hours worked — that normally go completely uncompensated! — would be $140,315.
That's up from the same group's estimate of $116,022 in 2021. A separate study also done in 2021 put the number at around $184k.
The number isn't pulled from thin air. It's based on the fair market value of real work.
Photo by Wesley Mc Lachlan on Unsplash
The team used the Bureau of Labor and Statistics to find out how much money, on average, a cook makes, and then multiplied that number by the hours moms spend cooking. Then you have the cost of a tutor times the hours mom spends helping with homework. And so on.
To put it into perspective, that’s a sweet six figure salary, more than your average accountant or consultant makes, and not far off from the salary of a pediatrician! Sadly, not only do moms not get paid for their efforts, we actually often view the time spent parenting and running a household as worthless. Just ask any mom that’s tried to re-enter the working world after taking a few years off to stay at home how valuable that experience is.
Worse still, a lot of moms pull off this ridiculous workload while holding down a full-time job that probably doesn't even pay as much!
Of course, moms aren’t actually asking to be paid for all this labor (though they wouldn’t mind).
Some groups have actually proposed regular stipends for moms, but generally, people don't get paid for taking care of their own lives. It'd be great if we all earned extra cash by doing our laundry or mowing our own lawn, or even taking care of our children.
Instead of forking over $140k per year to every mother in America — we could ask the kids to pay, but I don’t think most of their piggy banks have enough scratch — we should be asking why it's so damn hard to be a mom in the first place, and if there are ways that we could ease up some of that workload. In fact, there are:
Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash
Affordable childcare. Childcare workers are underpaid, too, and yet somehow daycare is completely unaffordable for many families. It’s not worth it for a lot of moms to pursue a career when they’re just going to hand over their entire paycheck, and then some, to daycare. The government could and should invest in subsidies or a universal childcare program to make this more accessible.
Retirement and insurance options. Many other countries have figured out ways to account for some of the value of stay-home caregivers by making contributions to a pension or retirement. Most experts agree that stay-at-home moms need life insurance, but... who's paying for it? Remember, that $140k is only hypothetical. Attaching a number to the work moms do, especially stay-at-home moms, seems like an exercise just to prove a point – but it’s actually more practical than that. It illustrates the need for society to recognize how much it would actually cost to replace everything that a mom does if the unthinkable were to occur.
Helping moms get back to work (if they want to). Ever heard of the motherhood penalty? It's the idea that the wage gap, which is already substantial, is even worse for moms. They earn about 71 cents for every dollar that a dad earns in the workplace. It's also harder for them to re-enter the workforce if they took time off to stay-at-home, and once there, they're more likely to get passed up for promotions. Some estimates say being a mom costs working women about $16,000 a year. (Yeesh, this is really adding up.)
Photo by Edward Cisneros on Unsplash
Fathers do a lot of unpaid labor at home too, but the proverbial deck is really stacked against mothers.
There is still a large disparity in who’s doing more around the house and with the kids, and it’s much more common for moms to stay at home, work part time, or otherwise sacrifice their career and earning potential. When you add it all up, $140,000 sounds like a lot of money but it's really barely scratching the surface. There's no cook in the world that can replace mom's love-filled recipes, no driving-service that could replicate laughing and singing along with mom on the way to school. I think if you were to take that money and actually try to replace everything a mom does, you'd quickly discover about a million little things that could never, ever be accounted for.
Millennial mom struggles to organize her son's room.Image via Canva/fotostorm
Boomer grandparents have a video call with grandkids.Image via Canva/Tima Miroshnichenko
Information from the NICABM website regarding the "Window of Tolerance."Photo Credit: The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine 
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Gen Xers and Millennials share 17 of the strangest things their Baby Boomer parents do
"My mom writes her emails in MS Word, then attaches the Word document to the email."
A Baby Boomer couple.
Generational fights have raged since the dawn of time, and a recent spat between Millennials and Baby Boomers is no exception. Baby Boomers, who raised Millennials, accuse the younger generation of being entitled and irresponsible with money. At the same time, Millennials accuse Boomers of having it easier economically while making it harder for those who came after them.
Where is Gen X in the battle? Probably off in the corner somewhere, saying, "Whatever." Aside from the generational sniping, there are some things the older generation does that are just plain baffling to younger people. Whether it's outdated worldviews, a refusal to adapt to modern technology, or a lack of self-awareness, Baby Boomers can do some strange things.
To help the younger folks get over their frustrations with parents from the "Me Generation," a Redditor asked: "What is the most Boomer thing your parents still do?" The stories were pretty funny and relatable, showing that almost everyone with parents over 60 is dealing with the same thing.
Here are 17 of the "strangest" things people's Baby Boomer parents do:
1. Phones on full blast
"Play iPhone slot machine games at full volume in the doctor’s office."
"My dad pretty much exclusively has his phone on speaker, and just walks around in public talking with it at max volume (and talking really loud himself). I’m like 'Dad, the entire supermarket doesn’t want to listen to you, and Uncle Jim complains about how often you have to pee.'"
2. Still using checkbooks
"My mom balances her checkbook every week. They still have a landline."
"And she probably has way more money than you will until she dies!"
3. Email issues
"My mom writes her emails in MS Word, then attaches the Word document to the email."
"Like the email is just the virtual envelope for the digital letter."
4. Restaurant jokes
"All those little restaurant comments.
'Wow, they'll let anyone in here!' when seeing a friend at said restaurant.
'Thanks for having us, not everyone will' to the waiter at the end of the meal.
'As you can see, it was terrible' when the staff takes away the clearly entirely eaten plate.
'You're going to have me floating away in a minute' when more water is put into their glass"
5. Always have to mention race
"Constantly mentioning the race or ethnicity of everyone she mentions. Never with any negative connotation or comment, but usually, there is no reason for it to be relevant to the conversation."
"My Jewish mother will always whisper the word 'black' in case anyone hears her: 'So the nice black man at the hardware store helped me find the right garden hose.'"
6. Googling their Google
"Typing Google on Google before they Google the thing they’re looking for."
"In the Google search bar, they type Google? Lol."
7. Getting a job is a cinch
"Believing you can walk into a business and hand in a resume. If you have a college degree in any field, they'll hire you."
"Just physically hand over your resume to HR or the hiring manager. You'll make a mark and get hired!! Call the office and ask to speak to HR/Hiring Manager."
Any Millennial who argued with their Boomer parents about how hard it is to land a good job should feel vindicated by a 2022 study, which found that most older Millennials didn't secure good jobs until their early 30s, while most Boomers did so in their 20s. "To secure a good job, young adults need to acquire more education and high-quality work experience than was necessary for previous generations," the researchers wrote.
8. Why are they together?
"Stay married forever while they behave like neither one of them can stand each other."
"I'm on the other side of that. After my mom passed, my dad now acts like their marriage was picture perfect and they were the love of each other's lives, even though they couldn't stand each other for at the very least 40 of the 54 years they were married."
9. Collectables or hoarding?
"Think their 'collectibles' are truly valuable."
"My mom insists her Hummels are going to put my kids through college!"
"Mine are the Thomas Kincade paintings. She has a Victorian glass piece that might actually be worth something, but those damn paintings are the real investment."
10. Can you grab the mail?
"Ask me to bring in the mail when they go away for more than 24 hours."
"My parents think everybody is standing at the door waiting for the mailman every day, and don’t believe me when I tell them that some people go days without checking their mail. They think everybody is waiting for the mailman every day because 'somebody might send them a check.' Like, really?"
11. Zero responsibility
"'Well, I guess I was just a bad father.' Yeah. That attitude of anti-responsibility is exactly why 3 out of 4 of your children don't talk to you."
"Ha! Have the same dad, do we?"
12. Comment on people's appearance
"Comment on EVERYBODY’s body/appearance/weight. The first thing my dad does after not seeing me for a year is poke me in the gut and tell me how fat I am."
13. Boomer panic is real
"Literally throwing their hands up in a panic when they don't understand something. Where did they learn that?"
"Or just saying 'well, I don't know', especially when that comes right after you explaining it and showing them how to do something, with them nodding along and asking relevant questions all the way through."
In a video by YourTango, editor Brian Sundholm tried to explain Boomer panic in an empathetic way: "Most of us nowadays know the importance of recognizing and feeling our emotions." Sundholm then quoted therapist Mitzi Bachman, who explained that when people struggle to express their emotions, it can result in an "unhinged" reaction.
14. Annoying Facebook posts
"Post nonsensical rants on Facebook for other boomers to like, share, and comment. Often these rants are political, but not always. Basically cringe-fest."
"Most people won't do it, but share this post if you believe in god and freedom."
"I do NOT give Facebook permission to use my photos and personal information!"
15. Dinner pushers
"While we're eating breakfast. What do you want to do for supper?"
"Can't we enjoy this meal without worrying about the next?"
16. They print everything
"My boomer in-laws print EVERYTHING! The number of times I have said, 'quit wasting ink, email it to me, or text me the link. Or just text me the schedule, don't print it out.' GPS on their phones? Nope...print a map."
"Boomers and their paper man. My dad has finally started using the internet, but he still prints everything he likes. Like he'll see a boat listing on Craigslist and print the entire page, including a massive color photo of it, and he's definitely not going to be buying it either. He's got a stack of papers that is the internet that sits by his recliner. He just sits there with Fox News on (though it's usually muted for some reason, that's a plus) and looks at his papers."
17. Flirting with servers
"My dad is 77 still flirts with the young waitresses. It's f**king weird for everyone."
"He thinks he is in cute old man territory, but he is not."