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Family of 4 moves from the US to Spain and mom shares why life there is 80% less stressful

"I went to eat with my baby at a restaurant in Spain and my baby started screaming..."

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One family says living abroad with young kids has massively reduced their stress.

Most burnt-out parents I know have at least toyed with the idea of moving far, far away. You can only handle so many news stories of school shootings or eroding child labor laws in the US before you seriously start to think about what life could be like elsewhere.

And it's not even necessarily these drastic issues that are so worrying. It's the day to day: the high cost of childcare and living, the extremely fast pace of American life, and being horribly anxious that taking your kids out in public will bother someone's peace and quiet. It's all a lot, and it's taking a serious toll on American parents' mental health.

Marae and Roger Torrelier hit a tipping point when their five-year-old was getting ready to start school in the US. The two had lived in several different states, including far-away Alaska, but they were finally ready to try a different way of life.

The family of four now live in Malaga, Spain with their older child and a baby. Marae has been documenting the journey on social media and how it differs from their experience living in America.

For starters, they say they're way more comfortable being out and about with their kids in public.

"[In the US] we've encountered venues that even refuse children, whereas in Europe and Asia, children are welcomed almost everywhere," mom told Newsweek.

The family has found their new home in Spain to be far more family- and kid-friendly, not just in the design and policies of the cities, but in the way strangers interact and respond to children.

"Playgrounds have cafés so you can have a coffee, a meal or drink while the kids play. People often interact with our kids with kindness, neighbors know them and ask about them."

I remember visiting Italy with my then-4-year-old and being amazed at how relaxed I felt sitting in a piazza having a glass of wine while she wandered and played in the busy square. It's still one of my top overall memories!

In one viral clip on the family's TikTok, Marae admits "I went to eat with my baby at a restaurant in Spain and my baby started screaming..." You know, baby does as babies do. But what the people around her did surprised the mom.

"The chef came out running to see 'the cute baby' and see if he could make her something to eat. Then he started showing her to the rest of the staff."

In the clip, the smiling chef can be seen playing with the baby before passing her off to another staff member, who is overjoyed to hold the little cutie.

@bravefamilytravel

The sweetest people 😭 #spaintravel #travelwithababy

"We’ve been outside of the US for less than a year and my stress levels have decreased by 80%," she writes in another post on Instagram.

In this clip, the family has popped on over to Italy for a visit, and a sweet old Italian man stops while passing by to smile and wave at the baby.

"When my baby cries I’m not afraid a stranger is gonna come and complain she’s being loud. Instead, they approach to see how they can help. When strangers approach I’m not afraid of what they’ll do but rather excited to see the interaction"

"This is the way it should be. We are social beings. This is the village. ... If you’re looking for a taste of what a child and family friendly society looks like, come to Italy."

There are a lot of things that make many other countries around the world, particularly in Europe, extremely appealing for families.

Kind people, and rude people, exist all over the world. Grumpy folks aren't unique to America. But some parts of the world just have better infrastructure for parents with young kids.

Places like Spain or Italy often have a slower way of life, more built-in time off for workers, better maternity and paternity leave, and childcare that is astronomically more affordable.

(In the United States, putting two or even just one child in full-time daycare so both parents can work costs about as much as a mortgage.)

@bravefamilytravel

we’ve been outside of the US for less than 2 months and my stress levels have decreased by 80%

Viewers and commenters love hearing about the family's journey, and have been quick to share their own stories of living and traveling abroad.

"In Singapore, the sweet Asian ladies took my baby out of my hands, a group of older women circled around her, and couldn’t believe she had blonde hair and blue eyes. It was absolutely such a sweet moment, and you could understand there was no threat."

"We hear a baby cry and we 1) Understand babies cry 2) Hope mum / dad isn't too stressed 3) we've all been there and 4) we remember our little ones"

"In italy we say "it takes a town to grow up a child". It's rare to see people not being kind to kids"

"You should visit Japan once. Babies are rare there because of population decline so they get such a celebrity status kinda love that its heart-rending."

@bravefamilytravel

Best decision ever 😂 says baby Atlas 👏

European countries aren't without their own problems. And believe it or not, there are lots of great communities and villages right here at home in America. You just have to put in a little extra effort to seek them out.

You may not feel comfortable letting your toddler loose in a busy city square here in America. But you can definitely cultivate a close group of family friends who live nearby, maybe even in walking distance.

And you can definitely be that person who offers to hold a crying baby or gives a reassuring smile to a tired parent who's worried they're bothering everyone.

You don't have to move halfway across the world to seek out a different way of life, or make a difference in other people's. But... it sure would be nice if America could make it a little easier sometimes.

via ABC Action News
'It's never too late': 19-year-old who aged out of foster care adopted by her caseworker

Heartbreakingly, there are hundreds of thousands of kids in the United States in foster care and a severe shortage of willing and capable families willing to permanently adopt them. The situation might even seem hopeless for young kids as they start to get older and become less "desirable" to adopt. But it's never too late to find your family. That's the heartwarming message being shared by Leah Paskalides and the daughter she adopted in 2021, then-19-year-old Monyay.

But this is no ordinary adoption story.

At the age of 11, Monyay was placed into a foster care group home. The pain of having to go through life without a family was always difficult, but it hit hard in her senior year of school. "My senior year is when I went through one of those, 'I don't want to do it anymore, I'm done,'" she told ABC News.

Monyay finished school a year early and took the extra time to focus on volunteering with foster children like her. But she faced a tough road ahead, as she was about to turn 18 and officially age out of the system.

According to the Children's Home Society of Minnesota, the 23,000 children who age out of foster care every year without families face many challenges. There are very few support systems in place for these now-adults. Without the watchful eye and help of their foster family and case workers, only 3% earn a college degree, half will develop a substance abuse problem, 60% of boys are convicted of crimes, and 70% of girls become pregnant before the age of 21.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

After Monyay turned 18, it looked like she would have to enter the real world as an adult without any support. But then her caseworker and mentor from the Safe Children Coalition stepped up.

Leah had always wanted to adopt Monyay but it was a conflict of interest with her work.

"She always said, 'I wish you could adopt me, wish you could adopt me,' and I couldn't because of the job and then I was watching a documentary where the person had been adopted as an adult, and I had never really heard of it," Leah said.

So she decided to adopt Monyay as her adult daughter. "It was important to me that she knew that she was wanted by somebody, that somebody loved her," Leah told Fox 13. "I could say that as many times as I want, but actions speak louder than words."

On Tuesday, April 27, 2021, a judge signed the paperwork making the adoption official.

"Being told 'no' so many times, to hear that 'yes' and to hear them pronounce her as my mom, it's something that's like, oh my gosh, this is for real," Monyay told Fox 13.

As part of the adoption proceedings, the question lingered as to what last name Monyay would like. When the 18-year-old announced it would be "Paskiledes," both mom and new-daughter began sobbing.

adoption, foster care, adoption stories, orphans, foster parents, adoptees, family, kids, children, adults, moms, motherhood Something about adult adoptions really has us crying like this. Giphy

"I would have adopted her six years ago, it was held back emotions that just came out," Leah told People.

The pair's story captured hearts all over the world when news and other media began sharing their tale.


- YouTube www.youtube.com

"A family is made of love. Love knows NO color or age. Congratulations," a YouTube commenter wrote.

"This will bring so much healing to the young lady. There's something about being wanted and knowing that someone wants you and loves you exactly as you are. That's what our parents are supposed to give us before we learn to give it to ourselves," added another.

The funny thing is the two didn't hit it off at first. Years ago, when Leah was first assigned her case, Monyay didn't like her. "She told me what she was going to be doing and helping me out with my case, and I didn't like her; she'll tell you that," said Monyay.

But over the past nine years, the two forged an unbreakable bond.

"She was very motivated and had aspirations for a future, and so I knew she just needed support," Leah said. "She was always a kid that did not deserve to go through life without a support system of a family."

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.


@ironmanmamma/TikTok

Every parent has experienced some version of this

It’s a top-tier parenting nightmare: accidentally putting your phone on silent before bed and waking up to a ton of rapid-fire missed calls from your child. Of course, your brain goes over every worst-case scenario, your heart skips a beat, the panic sets in…and then…BAM! Turns out, it was the complete opposite of an emergency. All those gray hairs for nothing.

This was the situation that mom Meredith Thornton found herself in after waking up to a slew of back-to-back missed calls from her 18-year-old son Van, made in the wee hours right after he was supposed to have gotten off from work.

Thornton told Today that she normally keeps her phone with full volume next to her at night so that her kids would “know I'm always available.” She added that her family had faced “legit emergencies” in the past, so the thought of her grown kiddos being on their own on the road at night still made her uneasy.

So, understandably, when she woke up to those missed calls, she thought for sure a “car wreck, or a mental health issue” had occurred, and she “nearly had a heart attack.”

But as we see in the next slide of her TikTok, the “emergency” in question was Van needing a Microsoft code…which had apparently been sent to her email. Phew.

@ironmanmamma

I legit almost had a heart attack especially since I slept through the calls. #adultkids #adultchildren #genx #microsoft #momsoftiktok


Thornton told Today that she suspected other parents might relate to this anxiety-inducing moment, hence why she posted it. Boy was she correct. Over three million people have viewed the clip so far, and countless parents have shared similarly harrowing scares.

"Girl!! 11 messages from my son asking about Roblox code and I’m thinking he been kidnapped.”

“It’s always an emergency when they need the code.”

"I was legitimately on a stage speaking to over 300 people. I keep my phone on silent, but I use it to know the time. My son called eleven times in a row. I apologized to the audience and turned my mic off and took the call. 'Can I spend 7 dollars on roblox.' Thank God it was all teachers."

"What about the text messages that just say….MOM followed by absolutely nothing else."

"Ooooh I get those. Heart attack city."

"This happened to me last weekend. And my kids were calling because A BEAR WAS OUTSIDE THEIR TENT."

Others could also feel young Van’s dilemma. One viewer quipped, “I mean, those codes are only good for 12 minutes.”

Even the official Microsoft account chimed in, writing, “No bc we get it 🥀”

For parents who want to avoid these snafus in the future, here’s a pretty simple hack: go to your kiddo’s contact info, then select Ringtone or Text Tone. Finally, turn on the Emergency Bypass toggle for the desired contact and notification type (call or text). And voilá, whether on silent or in Do Not Disturb mode, you won’t miss the call…be it for actual emergencies, or passcode requests.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Still, we really feel for your plight, Thornton. Hopefully, you can still get a good night’s sleep after this!