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life advice

Denzel Washington speaking at the University of Pennsylvania.

Denzel Washington is a generational talent, beloved by both critics and fans, and has starred in some of the most important movies of the past 40 years, including Glory, American Gangster, Training Day, Malcom X, and Flight. But his success didn’t come overnight. Like most actors who weren’t born into Hollywood royalty, he endured countless failed auditions until he finally made it.

The actor shared his life-changing advice on failure in 2011 during a commencement speech at the University of Pennsylvania, and the insight remains as relevant today as it was then. Recently, it was reshared on Twitter by Blake Burge and received 2.5 million views. In his speech, Washington warns the graduates who are clinging to the idea of having something to fall back on if their dreams work out. Instead, he believes they should position themselves to “fall forward.”

Washington shared a positive example of the power of persistence by juxtaposing a failed audition at the Cort Theater on Broadway when he was younger with a recent performance at the theater where he played the lead. However, he also warns against being afraid of failure, which can lead to an eternity of regret.

Denzel Washington's advice on failure

 

Last year, I did a play called Fences on Broadway. Someone talked about it. Won the Tony Award. And I didn't have to sing, by the way. But here's the kicker. It was at the Cort Theatre. It was at the same theater that I failed that first audition, 30 years prior… The point is every graduate here today has the training and the talent to succeed. But do you have the guts to fail?

Here's my second point about failure. If you don't fail, you're not even trying. I'll say it again. If you don't fail, you're not even trying. My wife told me this great expression. To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did. Les Brown's a motivational speaker. He made an analogy about this. He says, "Imagine you're on your deathbed, and standing around your deathbed are the ghosts representing your unfulfilled potential, the ghost of the ideas you never acted on, the ghost of the talents you didn't use. And they're standing around your bed, angry, disappointed, and upset. They say, 'We came to you because you could have brought us to life,' they say. 'And now we have to go to the grave together.'"

So I ask you today, how many ghosts are going to be around your bed when your time comes? You've invested a lot in your education, and people have invested in you. And let me tell you, the world needs your talents.


Washington’s speech teaches people a bittersweet lesson by providing a window into seeing all the possibilities that their lives can hold. But also, like a visit from the ghosts of Christmas future, it gives people a dark glimpse into what their life can look and feel like if they don’t pursue their dreams. In the speech, he shares a great piece of actionable advice: “To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.” This is an invasion to everyone who hears it: What do you really want in life, and what can you change to get it?

Here is the entire speech.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

 
Culture

People in their 40s share the best life advice that they wish they had known in their 30s

"Trying to maintain friendships with people that are on separate paths is difficult."

Image via Canva

People in their 40s share life advice with people in their 30s.

Wisdom is accrued with years lived. Every generation has advice to pass down, and people in their 40s have a lot of life advice to share with those a decade behind them in age.

In an online forum, this question was posed to people in their 40s, asking, "For those in their 40s, what's something people in their 30s don’t realize will impact them as they get older?"

People in their 40s generously shared their best life advice and aging tips with those in their 30s. These are 16 of their most impactful pieces of wisdom on getting older.

 old, getting old, aging, getting older, old Aging Jamie Lee Curtis GIF  Giphy  

"You wish you’d been more prepared for your family and friends to start dying or getting sick." —@G-base

"How well you took care of your teeth." —@aggieraisin

"Open a Roth IRA. Start small, but don't stop and don't take anything out. I didn't have a decent paying job until I was 39 years old. It's never to old to start saving. I did it and am now retired comfortably." —@FritzTheCat_1

 stretch, stretching, stretch routine, stretching routine, doing stretching Gym Stretch GIF by Chance The Rapper  Giphy  

"Stretching." —@SillyDistractions

"For those in their 30s, you need to know this. 40 is not old. Neither is 50." —@Mattynice75

"Posture." —@Prior-Force1068

"Your friendships will shift if you grow and change as a person." —@theprostateprophet

 friends, friendship, changing friendships, relationships, friend Tv Show No GIF by HelloGiggles  Giphy  

"It was around 40 that I started to realize that most people you meet are in your life for only a certain period of time, and even though it sucks, it’s actually normal. When I moved to a new city at 30, I had a pretty nice new group of friends. Now that I’m 40, I rarely talk to any of them. But they were perfect for that particular period in time. I think the same thing will continue to happen in your 40s, 50s, etc. Perhaps some will become lifelong friends, but the majority will just be rentals." —@_Toaster_Baths

"Find a life partner. Stop being part of toxic relationships. You are not going to fix anyone. Don't waste time with someone who can't be a good life partner. It's time to grow up and understand that if you are having serious relationship problems, it's because you are with the wrong person and you need to find the right person, not try to fix the relationship." —@RonGoBongo111

"Your childhood traumas." —@Skydreamer6

 do it, just do it, motivation, dont wait, take a risk just do it GIF  Giphy  

"There are no grownups, and there is no someday. Do it now, or stop saying you will 'eventually'; and stop waiting for the answers to come. Sometimes you need to gamble." —@Bitter_Pilot5086

"When I asked my mom what really changes after forty, she gave it to me straight — no sugarcoating. There’s no magical transformation. Things that used to work quietly start creaking. Fatigue becomes a background noise that doesn’t go away with one good night’s sleep. She said that in your thirties, it feels like you’ve got endless energy, plenty of time, and unshakable health. But then you realize — one bad night’s sleep can ruin your whole day. Your back isn’t 'just sore,' it’s 'this is how it is now.' And everything that once felt automatic — stamina, resilience, even friendship — starts to require intention, care, and effort. The hardest part? You start to feel that 'everything’s ahead' doesn’t quite apply anymore. Some things are already behind you, and you have to learn to let go. Not cling to the past, not drag it with you. Because if you do, you’ll miss how strange and beautiful the now can actually be. And most importantly, she said — stop postponing things. Love, change, taking care of yourself. 'Later' isn’t a guaranteed destination." —@Inevitable-Rice-702

"I think this goes well for any age in all honesty; it is never too late! You are never too young, if you love something and have a passion for it do it! If you love someone , love them so hard! Most importantly be you, I know a lot of people my age (46) who also have come out it’s never too late to live and love fully you will never regret following your heart!" —@UnknownUser

 go for it, never too late, soar, never too old, get after it Inspire Follow Your Dreams GIF by Positive Programming  Giphy  

"Wasting time. On jobs, on money, on looks. Instead of living free, focusing on being present, and spending quality time with their family." —@Shiasugar

"Deepen your close friendships now. You’ll see them less as time goes by, but their presence is equally as important." —@Single-Major2055

"I'm bit more mature now so i don't judge people on appearances or face value. Trust is a valuable commodity don't give it loosely. Let people earn it." —@saransh000

Golden Years

7 'old people' sayings that are actually solid life advice at every age

"Make all your words sweet because tomorrow you may have to eat them."

Elder wisdom can come in handy.

With age comes wisdom, or at least we hope it does. As we get older, we collect life lessons that we can pass along to younger generations, sometimes with lengthy stories, sometimes with quippy sayings.

Adages like "A penny saved is a penny earned," or "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise," have been part of our collective treasure chest of life advice for generations, but the aphorisms that spring from the experience of our loved ones and mentors are often the most meaningful.

Someone shared that they'd read and appreciated this old man's advice: “My grandpa once told me 'if you get on the wrong train, get off at the nearest station, the longer it takes you to get off, the more expensive the return trip will be.' He wasn’t talking about trains.” The person asked for more tidbits of wisdom from old folks and people started sharing sayings they heard from their elders growing up.

Here are some of the best "old man advice" sayings and how they can be applied in a person's life.

"You might miss what’s ahead of you if you keep concentrating on what’s in the rear view mirror."

Another commenter put it another way: "Don't look behind you, you aren't going that way." This adage is about not dwelling on the past. Many of us have a tendency to spend more time mentally in the past, rehashing old memories or being nostalgic for what once was, than we do in the present or looking forward to the future. There's nothing wrong with a little reflection, but if most of our focus is in the past, we miss out on the present. Rear view mirrors are for quick glances, not where our focus should be.

"Do the right thing, even if nobody is watching."

This saying is about good character and true integrity. If you notice someone drop a $20 bill and no one is around to see but you, do you give it back to them or do you pick it up and keep it? If you realize that a store didn't charge you for an item, do you point it out and make it right or do you allow the mistake to remain? There are opportunities each day for us to choose between right and wrong, and those choices really speak to who we are if they are made without anyone else knowing.

Lisa and Bart Simpson discuss combining showmanship with integrity, outdoors.bart simpson episode 21 GIFGiphy


"Be nice to everybody you meet on the way up the ladder. You'll see the same faces on the way down "

Don't get cocky and don't burn bridges you think you won't need to return to. There's value in being kind for its own sake, but there's also the reality that being kind also makes people like you. When people like you, they're more likely to lend you a helping hand, and you never know when you're going to be in a position to need one. It's also a good reminder that you're not inherently better than anyone else just because of where you are in life. We're all constantly in flux, so it's important to stay humble and kind.

In other words, "Make all your words sweet because tomorrow you may have to eat them."

"One of the most powerful negotiating tools is silence."

The power of silence in general is often underrated, but it can be an especially useful tool in a negotiation. Some people are so uncomfortable with silence that they will make concessions simply to avoid it. And sometimes the best response to an unreasonable demand is to just say nothing and stare, letting the other party come to the realization themselves. It takes calm confidence to simply be quiet and let the silence fill the room, which can feel surprisingly intimidating.

Person giving a playful side-eye with a slight grin, wearing a black jacket; "BOUNCE" logo visible.Eddie Murphy Shut Up GIF by BounceGiphy

"Always listen to your gut, even if you can’t explain it."

Ah, the strange and mysterious sense of intuition that we can't really describe but know when we feel it. Whether it's getting a creepy vibe about a person or a little voice telling you to do or not do something, those "gut instincts" can serve us well. Of course, if we are prone to anxiety, our instincts can sometimes be confused with anxious thoughts, but "go with your gut" is solid advice anyway.

“It doesn’t matter what path you’re on if it’s the wrong mountain.”

Sometimes people trying to find their way end up hitting roadblock after roadblock, which may mean they just haven't found the right path yet or might mean they need an entire overhaul of their life. That might look like switching career paths entirely, rather than trying to find a job in your field that fits. It might mean changing majors in the middle of your studies when you find yourself not enjoying any of your classes. It might mean finding a new community or reevaluating your relationships.

"The harder I work, the luckier I get."

Several sayings line up with this one, like "Luck is the intersection of preparation and opportunity," and "Luck favors the prepared mind." There's a lot to be said for fortune and hard work going hand in hand. If we expect good things to just land in our lap, we will likely be disappointed, but if we move in the direction of things we want to happen and do the work of preparing for good things to come our way, "luck" frequently seems to follow.

Finding a saying that resonates can be really helpful when we're facing a specific challenge in life, especially when we commit it to memory and repeat it often.

This article originally appeared in March.

Tom Hanks speaking to a crowd in London in 2023.

Tom Hanks, 68, has had an incredible career as an actor, playing lead roles in iconic films such as Forest Gump, Philadelphia, Apollo 13, Saving Private Ryan, and Sleepless in Seattle. He also has remarkable longevity in the business, having been on the A-list for the last 40-plus years. He picked up one of the secrets to his success at age 21 when a frustrated director shared some practical wisdom he'd never forget.

Hanks shared his advice on June 15, 2023, during “An Evening with Tom Hanks,” in London, hosted by fellow actor Richard E. Grant (Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Gosford Park). As a young man, Hanks worked for a repertory theater, doing background roles and working as an understudy on Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shew, when the lead actors came to rehearsal hungover and didn’t know their lines. This angered the director, who demanded they come to work like professionals.

What's the best advice Tom Hanks ever received?

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

“This is my job, and it's your job here. And I can't tell you guys what to do every time. Stop asking me where you should be. Stop asking what the motivation is. That's your job,” Hanks recalled the director saying before delivering advice that would change his life: “You gotta show up on time. You have to know the text, and you have to have an idea.”

The best advice Tom Hanks ever received: “You gotta show up on time. You have to know the text, and you have to have an idea.”

The advice changed how Hanks approached being a professional actor and helped propel him to the industry's top. The strange thing for Hanks is that it’s advice that many actors still need to hear. “You tell me, are there not a ton of actors that are working who don't do any of those things? And they still get to come and get paid to do it?” he told Grant.

tom hanks elvis, tom hanks australia, tom parker, hanks advice, tom hanks roles, how to act, directorsTom Hanks at the "Elvis" premiere in Australia. via Eva Rinaldi/Wikimedia Commons

Hanks elaborated on the three pieces of advice, adding that showing up on time means “a little bit early,” and knowing the texts means understanding "what’s going on” and being prepared. Finally, " having an idea” means bringing something to the table that will “move it a little further down the line.”

When you boil all of Hank’s advice down to its core, it means to take the initiative. Show up early, be prepared for what you must do, and then improve upon the situation by bringing some fresh ideas to share. From the director’s perspective, it’s invaluable to work with actors who want to enhance their vision so they don't have to control every aspect of the production.


Whether it’s a director, your boss, or your spouse, there’s nothing people love more than being able to depend on those who care enough to go the extra mile so that the project is a success. Show that you’re more than just an actor looking for fame, an employee looking for a paycheck, or a spouse who wants little more than to keep a roof over their head.

Hanks’ advice is great for anyone who wants to go above and beyond and become an integral part of a team. As actor Steve Martin once said, “Be so good that you’re undeniable.” It’s no wonder that Hanks has had such a great career. He took the director's advice to heart and became one of the most successful and beloved actors of all time.