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People in their 40s share the best life advice that they wish they had known in their 30s

"Trying to maintain friendships with people that are on separate paths is difficult."

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People in their 40s share life advice with people in their 30s.

Wisdom is accrued with years lived. Every generation has advice to pass down, and people in their 40s have a lot of life advice to share with those a decade behind them in age.

In an online forum, this question was posed to people in their 40s, asking, "For those in their 40s, what's something people in their 30s don’t realize will impact them as they get older?"

People in their 40s generously shared their best life advice and aging tips with those in their 30s. These are 16 of their most impactful pieces of wisdom on getting older.

old, getting old, aging, getting older, oldAging Jamie Lee Curtis GIFGiphy

"You wish you’d been more prepared for your family and friends to start dying or getting sick." —@G-base

"How well you took care of your teeth." —@aggieraisin

"Open a Roth IRA. Start small, but don't stop and don't take anything out. I didn't have a decent paying job until I was 39 years old. It's never to old to start saving. I did it and am now retired comfortably." —@FritzTheCat_1

stretch, stretching, stretch routine, stretching routine, doing stretchingGym Stretch GIF by Chance The RapperGiphy

"Stretching." —@SillyDistractions

"For those in their 30s, you need to know this. 40 is not old. Neither is 50." —@Mattynice75

"Posture." —@Prior-Force1068

"Your friendships will shift if you grow and change as a person." —@theprostateprophet

friends, friendship, changing friendships, relationships, friendTv Show No GIF by HelloGigglesGiphy

"It was around 40 that I started to realize that most people you meet are in your life for only a certain period of time, and even though it sucks, it’s actually normal. When I moved to a new city at 30, I had a pretty nice new group of friends. Now that I’m 40, I rarely talk to any of them. But they were perfect for that particular period in time. I think the same thing will continue to happen in your 40s, 50s, etc. Perhaps some will become lifelong friends, but the majority will just be rentals." —@_Toaster_Baths

"Find a life partner. Stop being part of toxic relationships. You are not going to fix anyone. Don't waste time with someone who can't be a good life partner. It's time to grow up and understand that if you are having serious relationship problems, it's because you are with the wrong person and you need to find the right person, not try to fix the relationship." —@RonGoBongo111

"Your childhood traumas." —@Skydreamer6

do it, just do it, motivation, dont wait, take a riskjust do it GIFGiphy

"There are no grownups, and there is no someday. Do it now, or stop saying you will 'eventually'; and stop waiting for the answers to come. Sometimes you need to gamble." —@Bitter_Pilot5086

"When I asked my mom what really changes after forty, she gave it to me straight — no sugarcoating. There’s no magical transformation. Things that used to work quietly start creaking. Fatigue becomes a background noise that doesn’t go away with one good night’s sleep. She said that in your thirties, it feels like you’ve got endless energy, plenty of time, and unshakable health. But then you realize — one bad night’s sleep can ruin your whole day. Your back isn’t 'just sore,' it’s 'this is how it is now.' And everything that once felt automatic — stamina, resilience, even friendship — starts to require intention, care, and effort. The hardest part? You start to feel that 'everything’s ahead' doesn’t quite apply anymore. Some things are already behind you, and you have to learn to let go. Not cling to the past, not drag it with you. Because if you do, you’ll miss how strange and beautiful the now can actually be. And most importantly, she said — stop postponing things. Love, change, taking care of yourself. 'Later' isn’t a guaranteed destination." —@Inevitable-Rice-702

"I think this goes well for any age in all honesty; it is never too late! You are never too young, if you love something and have a passion for it do it! If you love someone , love them so hard! Most importantly be you, I know a lot of people my age (46) who also have come out it’s never too late to live and love fully you will never regret following your heart!" —@UnknownUser

go for it, never too late, soar, never too old, get after itInspire Follow Your Dreams GIF by Positive ProgrammingGiphy

"Wasting time. On jobs, on money, on looks. Instead of living free, focusing on being present, and spending quality time with their family." —@Shiasugar

"Deepen your close friendships now. You’ll see them less as time goes by, but their presence is equally as important." —@Single-Major2055

"I'm bit more mature now so i don't judge people on appearances or face value. Trust is a valuable commodity don't give it loosely. Let people earn it." —@saransh000

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People admit the one thing that Boomers really got right and some folks are uncomfortable

"You have to force yourself to do things that are difficult and uncomfortable."

via Yerling Villalobos/Unsplash

A Baby Boomer has some thoughts on emotional resilience.

An overarching Baby Boomer stereotype is that they have a problem with the younger generations, especially Millennials because they were coddled growing up and lack the determination to do hard things.

Many believe that when helicopter parents shelter kids from discomfort, they never develop the emotional resilience that it takes to succeed on their own. Some may even attribute this to the increase in mental illness.

A writer on X, who goes by Katie, recently admitted that Boomers who believe facing discomfort has a significant benefit may be right. Her post has been seen over 4 million times.

“My boomer-est opinion is that you have to force yourself to do things that are difficult and uncomfortable and you have to do it often, while you’re young and your brain is still flexible." Yes, even if you are (functionally) mentally ill,” Katie wrote. “Buying groceries can be uncomfortable. going to school/work can be uncomfortable. Socializing can be uncomfortable. The more you do it, the less uncomfortable it will be. If you can do these things (I know that there is a % of the population that isn’t), you have to do them often.”

“I’ve never come back to a piece of life advice more than this one,” she continued before quoting Virgil Thompson. “Try a thing you haven't done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether you like it or not.”

Many people agreed with Katie’s Boomer-adjacent thoughts on building emotional resilience.

Some folks are on the fence.

Others disagreed with Katie’s point, saying that the idea that we can all “pull ourselves up by our bootstraps” is ableist and erases the struggles that people with anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses have.

So, what does the research say?

Dr. Simon Sherry, a professor in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at Dalhousie University, says that coddling has caused real problems for the younger generations. "There is nothing wrong with wanting to keep kids safe, but we must recognize there are unintended consequences in our current approach of excessive caution and vigilance. Instead, we must teach our youth to face anxiety, take risks, and overcome fears,” Dr. Sherry told CTV News. "We need to get control of this societal problem before it causes further damage for future generations.”

When it comes to confronting uncomfortable situations, Dr. Launa Marques, Associate Professor at Harvard Medical School and Former President of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, says avoiding discomfort can make anxiety even worse.

“Psychological avoidance isn’t about the actions we take or don’t take, but the intentions behind them,” she told The Washington Post. “If our actions aim to squash discomfort hastily, then we’re probably avoiding. For each of my clients, avoidance became a crutch, initially tempering their anxiety but progressively amplifying it. Psychological avoidance, rather than alleviating anxiety disorders, can exacerbate them.

Obviously, everyone’s situation is different and people who are experiencing mental health issues should consult their therapists to determine the best course of action to overcome their challenges.


This article originally appeared last year.

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Joy

19 brutally honest pieces of advice that 'everyone should know'

"When someone shows you who they are believe them."

via Canva/Photos

A woman coming to grips with a harsh truth about life.

Life is filled with lessons; unfortunately, there are some we must learn the hard way, whether it’s how the real world works when you start your career or the first time someone breaks your heart. These lessons are essential to learn so that you don’t have to go through the same pain again, but don’t you wish you learned them the easy way — by hearing the harsh truth from others — rather than going through the pain yourself?

Wouldn’t it be great if you could download all of these harsh truths into your brain to learn them the easy way? Some folks online got together and did just that. And, for those who pay attention, it can save them a lot of grief in the future. Many touched upon the thornier issues in life, love, family, friendships, the transitory nature of relationships, and how you can do everything right and still lose.


We chose the top 19 “brutally honest” pieces of advice that were the most important so you don’t have to learn them the tough way.

1. Take care of yourself

"If you have poor hygiene, you will be treated poorly."

"People can and will judge by appearances, so don’t make it any easier for them to do so."

2. Don't ever expect the world to be fair.

"But work to make the parts of the world you influence as fair as possible."

"The concept of fairness is a human invention, which implies that fairness only exists in reality when humans put it there. That's the only way it exists. Do your part."

3. Your job doesn't care about you

"Your company doesn’t give a sh*t about you. If you die, your job will be posted within the week to replace you. You might get a bouquet of flowers on the break room table, but once those die, so will your presence at the job."

"A coworker of mine passed away from cancer a few years back. I think about her sometimes, though we never worked closely, but they sent out an email, and that was that."



4. No one has to forgive you

"Just because you apologize to someone doesn't mean they have to forgive and forget what you did to them."

"The reverse is also true, you don't have to forgive someone just because they apologized to you."

Even though we are conditioned to say "it's okay" when someone apologizes to us, we don't have to condone their actions. Karina Schumann, a psychology professor who studies conflict resolution, apologies, and forgiveness at the University of Pittsburgh, says we only owe them a genuine response. “It’s important to be genuine without being hostile,” says Schumann. “Research shows that using a ‘constructive voice’ — where you voice your concerns in a positive, calm way — is the most effective way to invite behavioral changes and better relationships. Sweeping things under the rug and pretending to forgive when you’re not ready is not going to fix the problem.”

5. 'Brutal opinions aren't always true

"People who describe themselves as brutally honest are usually more interested in the brutality than the honesty."

6. Not all friends are forever

"Friends come and go and some were never really friends."

"And some that ran their course years later start again and it’s like a totally new relationship since you’re in a completely different phase of your life!"

"Can I add that just because you may have had good times with people, that does not make them good friends."



7. Some people shouldn't have kids

"People who are dumb, trashy, or otherwise not great will lack the critical thinking skills to realize they won’t be great parents, or maybe that they won’t have the money to raise a child well. People who are smarter, or have better jobs and lives, will be more likely to not have kids so they can preserve their good life, or will maybe think “maybe I won’t be a good parent” and will not have kids, these people are infinitely better equipped to have kids. This means that a majority of people having kids will not raise them well, a majority of kids will be raised poorly, and a majority of kids will display the same poor personality traits as their parents."

8. No one else’s life revolves around you

"Yep, we all suffer from Main Character Syndrome, but we’re all just extras in someone else’s world."

9. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time

"I kind of guess it means. Don’t let yourself be fooled and do not gaslight yourself. Don’t excuse bad behavior; say sorry that’s not acceptable, and I’m no longer going to tolerate it. Bye bye, Felicia."

This quote is believed to have been first written by writer Maya Angelou, and Orpah Winfrey would later expand on it to share how it applies to our daily lives. "Remember this because it will happen many times in your life," Winfrey said. "When people show you who they are the first time believe them. Not the 29th. time. When a man doesn't call you back the first time, when you are mistreated the first time, when someone shows you a lack of integrity or dishonesty the first time, know that this will be followed many, many other times, and that will some point in life come back to haunt or hurt you. Live your life in truth. Don't pretend to be someone you're not. You will survive anything if you live your life from the point of view of truth.”



10. Sometimes you lose

"'It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life.' Jean-Luc Picard."

"Another from sports: The best team doesn't always win; the team that plays the best does."

11. Some bridges are worth burning

"Don't hang on to toxic people, INCLUDING FAMILY. Don't fall for the 'But they are your family...'"

12. If it’s not yes, it’s a no

"Particularly helpful dating advice."

"If they like you, you’ll know it. If they don’t, you’ll feel confused."

"Also add, stop saying no when you mean yes. People can’t read minds."



13. Learn to deal with yourself

"The person who you spend the most time with is yourself. Literally, 24/7 til you die. Learn to deal/exist with that person."

"If you can’t like yourself, why would anyone else? Instead of complaining that no one likes you, work on making yourself into someone likable."

14. Use protection

"Wear a condom. Especially if she tells you you don’t have to and you don’t know her very well."

"In general, when anyone tells you that you don't need something that is for your protection/safety/peace-of-mind, YOU NEED IT."

15. Simple isn't always right

"We live in a complex world, and you should be wary of simplistic explanations."



16. Don't be afraid to fail

"Doing nothing is often worse then doing something wrong. Go make mistakes. Live your life and collect memories and wisdom. If you are in the box. Be there cause you chose to, not because someone told you to be there."

17. Maybe you just don't want it

"If you keep making excuses as to why you aren’t meeting some goal, maybe you just don’t actually want to achieve said goal. And if you just accept this, then you can spend your time focusing on a goal you actually want to achieve."

"You make time for the things you care about and excuses for the things you don't."

18. Be wary of critics

"Only accept criticism from someone you’d take advice from."

"And only take advice from someone successful in the topic at hand."

19. Be pleasant

"Once you reach adulthood, being an a**hole is going to close a lot of doors for you: at school, at work, with friends, and with family. Some of those doors don’t open again. Adults don’t go out of their way to help unpleasant people."

"Similarly, way too many people focus entirely on 'I don't owe anyone anything' and don't focus enough on common courtesy and basic respect. If you refuse to ever help someone else unless you're strictly obligated to, don't be surprised when nobody opts to help you when you need it."

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