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Family

Mom shares touching post about how friendships change in your 30s and 40s

'Make time for the people who feel like home.'

besties, friendship, female friendship

Two friends enjoying a great time.

For most people, friendships change when they reach their 30s and 40s. The carefree days of youth give way to new responsibilities such as marriage, family and career. Unfortunately, that pushes a lot of important relationships to the sidelines.

A 2012 analysis published in Psychological Bulletin found that friendship groups tend to expand until the age of 25 and then begin to contract rapidly.

Our relationships change as we get older, but that doesn’t mean they're not important. According to Psychology Today, having meaningful social relationships is one of the biggest predictors of longevity.

Amy Weatherly, 39, a parenting blogger and author of "I'll Be There (And Let's Make Friendship Bracelets)” wrote a poignant Facebook post about how friendship changes in people’s 30s and 40s and it resonated with a lot of people. It makes the point that although relationships may begin to look different and happen in new places as we get older, they are still just as valuable.

“Friendship looks a little different in your 30’s & 40s than it used to,” Weatherly writes. “Now it looks like hanging out together on the bleachers at baseball games. … Now it looks like ‘I’ll come, but only if I can wear stretchy pants.’

“Whatever you have to do, however you have to do it — make time for your friendships,” Weatherly concludes the post. “Make time for the people who feel at home, because they matter and don’t come around very often. We need them just as much now as we did back then.”

Friendship looks a little different in your 30’s & 40s than it used to.

— Now it looks like hanging out together on the bleachers at baseball games.

— Now it looks like “What kind of concealer have you been using? I need a good one.”

— Now it looks like a quick hug in the parking lot at school pickup time.

— Now it looks like “Hey, how was your mom’s surgery? I’ve been praying for you.”

— Now it looks like group texts that make you laugh out loud.

— Now it looks like “Ok, I’m coming, but I’m so tired I may fall asleep right in this glass of wine.”

— Now it looks like half-conversations at birthday parties that keep getting interrupted by screaming kiddos.

— Now it looks like “Was that really 5 years ago? Seems like yesterday.”

— Now it looks like hiding in your closet for a 3 minute conversation on the phone.

— Now it looks like “Hey, why don’t y’all grab lunch and come hang out while the baby naps?”

— Now it looks like quick little chats in the aisles at Target.

— Now it looks like “Girl, I know. I’ve been there too, and it is so hard. I’m here for you.”

— Now it looks like showing up in your rattiest sweatpants and not even flinching because you know they won’t judge you.

— Now it looks like Marco Polo messages and Snapchat pictures and tagging each other in memes on Facebook.

— Now it looks like “I dropped off a cup of coffee and a box of cookies on your front porch.”

— Now it looks like “I’ll come, but only if I can wear stretchy pants.”

— I’m coming over for coffee tomorrow and I’ll have a box of donuts. I really wanna see you. Does that work? I can even help you do laundry.

— Now it looks like “I’m not free until 2026.”

— Now it looks like “I miss you” and meaning it with your whole heart.

Whatever you have to do, however you have to do it — make time for your friendships. Make time for the people who feel like home, because they matter and they don’t come around very often. We need them just as much now as we did back then.'

Love, Amy

"It was honestly just a quick list of things that I put together, probably while I was sitting at one of my son's baseball games, realizing how much I enjoyed that time," Weatherly told Good Morning America. "Because yes, I love watching my son play baseball. But that is the only time that I had to connect with other women my age."

What’s moving about the post is how even though the circumstances surrounding friendships may change, it doesn’t mean they should be seen as less valuable. In some ways, we begin to value time together more as we get older because it’s harder to get together. When free time is at a premium, who we choose to spend it with matters even more.

A lot of people tagged their besties in the post and used it as an excuse to make plans together or remind them of how much they are loved. "Let's put something on the calendar," Kelli wrote to Michelle.

"Angelica, bring me some donuts and coffee and do my laundry," Stephanie wrote.

In the end, it’s worthwhile putting in the time to cultivate these friendships as we get older so they don’t fall by the wayside.

"I just want people to know you do have to be really intentional because that time is not going to fall into your lap," Weatherly said. "I think people, with friendship, it's like they want the tree but they don't want to actually plant the seed and that's not how it works."

Images provided by P&G

Three winners will be selected to receive $1000 donated to the charity of their choice.

True

Doing good is its own reward, but sometimes recognizing these acts of kindness helps bring even more good into the world. That’s why we’re excited to partner with P&G again on the #ActsOfGood Awards.

The #ActsOfGood Awards recognize individuals who actively support their communities. It could be a rockstar volunteer, an amazing community leader, or someone who shows up for others in special ways.

Do you know someone in your community doing #ActsOfGood? Nominate them between April 24th-June 3rdhere.Three winners will receive $1,000 dedicated to the charity of their choice, plus their story will be highlighted on Upworthy’s social channels. And yes, it’s totally fine to nominate yourself!

We want to see the good work you’re doing and most of all, we want to help you make a difference.

While every good deed is meaningful, winners will be selected based on how well they reflect Upworthy and P&G’s commitment to do #ActsOfGood to help communities grow.

That means be on the lookout for individuals who:

Strengthen their community

Make a tangible and unique impact

Go above and beyond day-to-day work

The #ActsOfGood Awards are just one part of P&G’s larger mission to help communities around the world to grow. For generations, P&G has been a force for growth—making everyday products that people love and trust—while also being a force for good by giving back to the communities where we live, work, and serve consumers. This includes serving over 90,000 people affected by emergencies and disasters through the Tide Loads of Hope mobile laundry program and helping some of the millions of girls who miss school due to a lack of access to period products through the Always #EndPeriodPoverty initiative.

Visit upworthy.com/actsofgood and fill out the nomination form for a chance for you or someone you know to win. It takes less than ten minutes to help someone make an even bigger impact.

Science

MIT’s trillion-frames-per-second camera can capture light as it travels

"There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

Photo from YouTube video.

Photographing the path of light.

A new camera developed at MIT can photograph a trillion frames per second.

Compare that with a traditional movie camera which takes a mere 24. This new advancement in photographic technology has given scientists the ability to photograph the movement of the fastest thing in the Universe, light.


The actual event occurred in a nano second, but the camera has the ability to slow it down to twenty seconds.

time, science, frames per second, bounced light

The amazing camera.

Photo from YouTube video.

For some perspective, according to New York Times writer, John Markoff, "If a bullet were tracked in the same fashion moving through the same fluid, the resulting movie would last three years."


In the video below, you'll see experimental footage of light photons traveling 600-million-miles-per-hour through water.

It's impossible to directly record light so the camera takes millions of scans to recreate each image. The process has been called femto-photography and according to Andrea Velten, a researcher involved with the project, "There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

(H/T Curiosity)


This article originally appeared on 09.08.17

@penslucero/TikTok

Pency Lucero taking in the Northern Lights

Seeing the northern lights is a common bucket list adventure for many people. After all, it ticks a lot of boxes—being a dazzling light show, rich historical experience and scientific phenomenon all rolled into one. Plus there’s the uncertainty of it all, never quite knowing if you’ll witness a vivid streak of otherworldly colors dance across the sky…or simply see an oddly colored cloud. It’s nature’s slot machine, if you will.

Traveler and content creator Pency Lucero was willing to take that gamble. After thorough research, she stumbled upon an Airbnb in Rörbäck, Sweden with an actual picture of the northern lights shining above the cabin in the listing. With that kind of photo evidence, she felt good about her odds.

However, as soon as she landed, snow began falling so hard that the entire sky was “barely visible,” she told Upworthy. Martin, the Airbnb host, was nonetheless determined to do everything he could to ensure his guests got to see the spectacle, even offering to wake Lucero up in the middle of the night if he saw anything.

Then one night, the knock came.


In a video Lucero posted to TikTok, which now has over 12 million views, we hear Martin ushering her out to take a peek. Then we see Lucero’s face light up just before seeing the sky do the same.

“I thought it was a prank,” the onscreen text reads in the clip. “And then I see it….”

Watch:

@penslucero

I’m on the verge of crying every time I watch this video I still cannot believe it. 📍 Rörbäck, Sweden

“I was mostly in awe of what this Earth is capable of,” Lucero recalled. “I never expected it to be THAT beautiful for the naked eye.” This is a hopeful sentiment against the widely accepted notion that the northern lights are often better looking in photos than they are in real life.

As Lucero asserted in a follow-up video, “Our video doesn’t do it justice at all…I would argue it’s even better for the naked eye.”

@penslucero Replying to @PatriotFamilyHomes ♬ Golden Hour: Piano Version - Andy Morris

Others were quick to back Lucero with anecdotes of their own experience.

“It’s definitely possible to see it like in the pics. I saw it this winter in Norway, there was bright green, purple and so much movement.”

“They’re so much better in person, the way they dance and move around is insane and beautiful.”


Of course, if you ask Martin, who everyone agreed was the best host ever, seeing guest reactions of pure wonder and joy is even “better than the lights themselves.” But still, he can’t deny that there’s a breathtaking magic to it all. He shared with Upworthy that “Sometimes it feels like it will pull you up in the sky like you are in the middle of it. I wish everyone would have the chance to witness it.”

northern lights

A photo from Martin's Airbnb listing

a0.muscache.com

When it comes to tips for actually seeing the northern lights, Martin admits it still mostly comes down to being in the right place at the right time. Luckily, his Airbnb listing can help with that.

Nature has a great way of reminding us that beyond the distractions and distresses of modern life, there is sublime beauty waiting for the chance to capture our hearts.


This article originally appeared on 03.27.23

Representative image from Canva

Because who can keep up with which laundry settings is for which item, anyway?

Once upon a time, our only option for getting clothes clean was to get out a bucket of soapy water and start scrubbing. Nowadays, we use fancy machines that not only do the labor for us, but give us free reign to choose between endless water temperature, wash duration, and spin speed combinations.

Of course, here’s where the paradox of choice comes in. Suddenly you’re second guessing whether that lace item needs to use the “delicates” cycle, or the “hand wash” one, or what exactly merits a “permanent press” cycle. And now, you’re wishing for that bygone bucket just to take away the mental rigamarole.

Well, you’re in luck. Turns out there’s only one setting you actually need. At least according to one laundry expert.

While appearing on HuffPost’s “Am I Doing It Wrong?” podcast, Patric Richardson, aka The Laundry Evangelist, said he swears by the “express” cycle, as “it’s long enough to get your clothes clean but it’s short enough not to cause any damage.”

Richardson’s reasoning is founded in research done while writing his book, “Laundry Love,” which showed that even the dirtiest items would be cleaned in the “express” cycle, aka the “quick wash” or “30 minute setting.”


Furthermore the laundry expert, who’s also the host of HGTV’s “Laundry Guy,” warned that longer wash settings only cause more wear and tear, plus use up more water and power, making express wash a much more sustainable choice.

Really, the multiple settings washing machines have more to do with people being creatures of habit, and less to do with efficiency, Richardson explained.

“All of those cycles [on the washing machine] exist because they used to exist,” he told co-hosts Raj Punjabi and Noah Michelson. “We didn’t have the technology in the fabric, in the machine, in the detergent [that we do now], and we needed those cycles. In the ’70s, you needed the ‘bulky bedding’ cycle and the ‘sanitary’ cycle ... it was a legit thing. You don’t need them anymore, but too many people want to buy a machine and they’re like, ‘My mom’s machine has “whitest whites.”’ If I could build a washing machine, it would just have one button — you’d just push it, and it’d be warm water and ‘express’ cycle and that’s it.”
washing machine

When was the last time you washed you washing machine? "Never" is a valid answer.

Canva

According to Good Housekeeping, there are some things to keep in mind if you plan to go strictly express from now on.

For one thing, the outlet recommends only filling the machine halfway and using a half dose of liquid, not powder detergent, since express cycles use less water. Second, using the setting regularly can develop a “musty” smell, due to the constant low-temperature water causing a buildup of mold or bacteria. To prevent this, running an empty wash on a hot setting, sans the detergent, is recommended every few weeks, along with regularly scrubbing the detergent drawer and door seal.

Still, even with those additional caveats, it might be worth it just to knock out multiple washes in one day. Cause let’s be honest—a day of laundry and television binging sounds pretty great, doesn’t it?

To catch even more of Richardson’s tips, find the full podcast episode here.


This article originally appeared on 2.4.24

Woman taking a selfie at the beach

Social media has made it very easy to alter your appearance using filters. They may come in handy when you need to record a video but look a bit under the weather—just turn on a soft glow or a makeup filter, and boom, you're camera-ready in less than two seconds. But there has been a lot of talk around the use of filters and teen girls' self-esteem and unrealistic expectations seemingly placed on women.

One woman has taken it upon herself to strip away the filters to prove that, while she is beautiful, her face doesn't actually look the way it does with the filter on. The most interesting thing about these filters is that they're so good, you can't tell they're filters. Gone are the days of filters that made everyone look like a Glamour Shot from the 90s. These filters move with you and even have pores so no one can tell it isn't actually your face.

Well, it is your face—kinda.


Mimi Webb starts off the 20-second clip using the infamous Bold Glamour filter. It's the filter that has people questioning their perception of their own faces because the contrast is so jarring. But Webb doesn't stop with one filter. She puts on another and makes sure she emphasizes her use of a ring light. After turning the ring light off and taking all the filters off as the video is ending, the woman removes her makeup, revealing an inflamed, irritated and blemished face.

People flocked to the comments to thank her for exposing the truth behind filters.

"You're beautiful & this message is SO important thanks for the reminder," one person wrote.

"You are beautiful. In real life, we all have imperfections. As a mature woman, I appreciate your honesty. Thank you," another said.

"Thank you so much. You did not know how much this was needed," a woman commented.

Social media can really do a number on people's self esteem, especially when they're comparing themselves to something that's not real. Messages like the one Webb shared can help pull back the curtain on the reality of social media. Watch her video below.

@missmimiwebb

#greenscreenvideo

This article originally appeared on 6.9.23

America's Got Talent/Youtube

Kodi Lee has become an "AGT" fan favorite with his next level skills

Since 2019, Kodi Lee has wowed “America’s Got Talent” audiences with his next-level musical skills. That goes for whether he’s performing touching original works or putting his own personal touch on well-known songs.

For “America’s Got Talent: Fantasy League,” the music savant was guided by his mentor Howie Mandel to cover “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen.

It’s hard to imagine a version of this fan-favorite tune you haven’t already heard before, since the song has been covered quite a few times. But once again Lee delivered something epic and completely unique.


Even though judges Mel B and Heidi Klum still prefer Lee’s original songs, all applauded his haunting and emotional piano rendition of the rock-n-roll anthem.

Simon Cowell even said “You use these words ‘Star Quality’ a lot, but you genuinely, Kodi, over the years we’ve got to know you, you’ve just got better as an artist. You’ve never given up, and the Finals just wouldn’t be the same without you in it this year.”

Other viewers applauded Lee for one-of-a-kind performance, agreeing that he did freddie Mercury proud.

One wrote, “‘You can do whatever you want to do in my music, just don't make it boring’ -Freddie. What a magical performance.”

Another added, “Kodi has an amazingly rare talent to be able to sing across different musical genres. He owns them all!!!”

Last but not least, I think this comment sums up the general consensus pretty well: "This version is unlike anything anyone has ever seen before. It’s truly a masterpiece. Kodi is an amazing gift to our world. He continues to change the world just by being himself."

Watch below. And enjoy.

This article originally appeared on 2.13.24