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How to stop waking up each night at 3 or 4 in the morning

The good news is that there are ways to get back to sleep and stop the downward anxiety spiral.

sleep, waking up, woman sleeping

via Polina Kovaleva/Pexels

A woman with her eye mask on in bed.

Do you often wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. with an intense feeling of anxiety? Do you get stressed that you’re awake and begin making a mental laundry list of everything you need to do the next day? Do you start thinking about fights you once had with your spouse or ponder how you have let yourself down in the past?

If so, you’re not alone. It’s common for people to wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. regularly and there’s a reason why we choose this time to catastrophize and worry. The good news is that there are some steps we can take to get through that awkward phase of the night so we can wake up refreshed.

Why do I wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. every night?

Many of us reliably wake up in the middle of the night because after we’ve had a good chunk of sleep, our bodies start to slowly prepare us for the day by reducing melatonin, the hormone that puts us to sleep and increasing levels of cortisol, the stress hormone.

That biological phase of sleep is why we start to feel stressed.

insomnia, sleep, sleep hacks, how to sleep better, melatonin, stress A woman struggles with insomniaImage via Canva

After the big hormone release at 3 or 4 in the morning, if you are dealing with stress in your life, you are more likely to wake up. If your life is calmer and you don’t already have a stress baseline, you will probably wake up, fall asleep quickly and forget that it happened.

Why do I wake up feeling stressed in the middle of the night?

If you’re already experiencing stress in your life, that extra cortisol kick is going to cause you to wake up with a feeling of anxiety. The problem is that when we’re lying in bed in the middle of the night, we are in a vulnerable position. “Around this time in the sleep cycle, we’re at our lowest ebb physically and cognitively. From nature’s viewpoint, this is meant to be a time of physical and emotional recovery, so it’s understandable that our internal resources are low,” Greg Murray, a psychology researcher with expertise in mood, sleep, and the circadian system, writes in The Conversation.

“But we also lack other resources in the middle of the night – social connections, cultural assets, all the coping skills of an adult are unavailable at this time,” Murray continues. “With none of our human skills and capital, we are left alone in the dark with our thoughts. So the mind is partly right when it concludes the problems it’s generated are unsolvable – at 3 a.m., most problems literally would be.”

insomnia, sleep, sleep hacks, melatonin, stress, anxiety A woman struggles with insomniaImage via Canva

At this moment, when we’re stressed and feeling vulnerable, stuck in bed with no way out, we can begin to spiral. This is when we ruminate on why we forgot to feed the dog that one day in 1994 or contemplate why things went bad with your first significant other at 21. It’s when we start recalling a disagreement with a friend and plotting out what we’ll say the next time the issue arises.

At this point, if we don’t stop spiraling, we’ll be up until 5 a.m. and will feel like garbage when it’s time to go to work.

The good news is that there are ways to get back to sleep and stop the downward anxiety spiral.

Make a list

Dr. Jade Wu says that if you wake up and feel stressed about things you need to take care of, walk out of your room (so you don’t associate it with stressors) and make a list to read in the morning. This will free you of your worries, because you know you can care for them when you are awake.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Pay attention to your breath

Murray says you should redirect your attention from your thoughts to your breath, which is a form of meditation. “I bring my attention to my senses, specifically the sound of my breath. When I notice thoughts arising, I gently bring my attention back to the sound of breathing,” Murray writes in The Conversation. This works in 2 ways: first, it takes your attention away from your spiraling thoughts and second, the breathing exercise helps you relax.

Have a bite to eat

Sometimes, we wake up in the middle of the night because we’re hungry and our blood sugar is dropping. “The first question I ask [my patients] is, ‘When was the last time you ate?’” Michael Breus, Ph.D. psychologist specializing in sleep disorders, told Sleep.com. “Often, they’ve finished their last meal at 7 p.m.; now it’s 3 in the morning — that’s eight hours later — so guess what? They’re out of fuel.” If you’ve woken up because of a drop in blood sugar, experts recommend eating a small snack that includes protein and fat, like peanut butter.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Modern Families

Millennial parents are pleading with Boomer grandparents to stop giving excessive gifts to grandkids

"I struggle to keep on top of tidying as it is, and this is a massive added challenge."

boomer grandparents, boomer grandparent, millennial parents, millennial parent, grandkids

Image via Canva/PeopleImages

Boomer grandparents are excessively gifting their grandkids, and Millennial parents have had enough.

Millennial parents and Boomer grandparents don't always see eye to eye on parenting and grandparenting. Now, Millennial parents are uniting on a nightmare Boomer grandparenting trend that sees them "excessively gifting" their grandkids with tons of both new and old *unwanted* stuff during visits.

Ohio mom Rose Grady (@nps.in.a.pod) shared her "Boomer grandparent" experience in a funny and relatable video. "Just a millennial mom watching her boomer parents bring three full loads of 'treasures' into her home," she wrote in the overlay.

Grady can be seen looking out the window of her home at her Boomer mom and dad carrying bags and boxes up her driveway after several visits. The distressed and contemplative look on Grady's is speaking to plenty of Millennial moms.

@nps.in.a.pod
Today's "treasure" highlight was the mobile that hung in my nursery... #boomerparents #boomers #boomersbelike #millennialsoftiktok #millenialmom #motherdaughter

Grady captioned the video, "Today's 'treasure' highlight was the mobile that hung in my nursery..."

The humorous video resonated with with fellow Millennial parents. "Straight to the trash when they leave," one viewer commented. Another added, "I always say 'if you don’t want it in yours, we don’t want it in ours' 😂."

Even more Millennial parents have shared and discussed their situations with Boomer grandparents buying their kids too much stuff on Reddit. "Both my mother and my MIL love buying and sending toys, books, clothes, etc. I don't want to be ungrateful but we just don't need it and don't have the space. I have brought this up politely in 'we are all out of drawers for that' but it hasn't slowed things down," one explained. "I think part of the issue is that the grandparents live in different cities and vacation a lot. They don't get to see our daughter much so they buy stuff instead."

Another Millennial parent shared, "While the intention is very kind behind these, all the grandparents are very aware that we do not need, nor wish to receive these gifts in such an excessive volume - as it creates a daily struggle to store and accommodate in our home. I struggle to keep on top of tidying as it is, and this is a massive added challenge."

millennial parents, millennial parent, millennial mom, kids room, organize Millennial mom struggles to organize her son's room.Image via Canva/fotostorm

How to talk to Boomer grandparents about gifts

So, why are Boomer grandparents excessively gifting? "Boomer grandparents may be the first grandparent generation to have accumulated the substantial discretionary funds that enables them to spend money on their grandchildren," Sari Goodman, a Certified Parent Educator and founder of Parental Edge, tells Upworthy. "These grandparents probably grew up with grandparents who didn’t have that kind of money and so they may be excited to give their grandchildren the things they didn’t get."

Goodman suggests that Millennial parents first discuss with them the "why" behind the gifting. "What comes before setting a boundary to limit over-the-top gift-giving is delving into the reasons grandparents are buying so much," she explains. "Coming from a place of compassion and understanding makes it possible to come up with mutually beneficial solutions."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

She recommends that Millennial parents sit down with their Boomer parents to learn more. "Did they grow up without many toys and clothes and are fulfilling a dream? Ask them about the values they learned as children (hard work, perseverance, the power of delayed gratification) and how they can pass on these lessons to the grandchildren," she suggests.

She adds that another reason may be that Boomer grandparents live far away and want their grandchildren to feel a connection with them. "Set up a regular FaceTime or Zoom meeting. Rehearse with the kids so they have something to say and suggest a topic for the grandparents," says Goodman. "Or send snail mail. Kids love getting mail. The grandparents can send postcards from where they live and explain some of the special sites."

boomer grandparents, boomer grandparenting, video chat, video call, grandkids Boomer grandparents have a video call with grandkids.Image via Canva/Tima Miroshnichenko

Finally, Goodman adds that for some grandparents, this may be is the only way they know how to show their love. Millennial parents could ask if they would be open to other ideas. "Parents can set up an activity for grandparents and kids to do when they come over—a jigsaw puzzle, art activity, board game, magic tricks," she says. "Arrange for the grandchildren to teach the grandparents something their phones can do or introduce them to an app they might like."

This article originally appeared last September

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boomer grandparents

Man uses the shoe aisle to perfectly explain why middle-class Americans are hurting

The "garbage shoes" helped him demonstrate his point brilliantly.

shoes, cheap shoes, fast fashion, fast fashion brands, sustainable fashion, economy, shrinklfation, money, sustainable shoes

Photo credit: Canva

Remember things being built to last?

Unfortunately, most Americans are well aware of shrinkflation, where food companies reduce the sizes of their products while the price remains the same at the grocery store. You see this in fast food restaurants when you pick up a burger and feel like your hand has grown a few inches, and at the supermarket when you buy a box of cookies, it weighs less than it did a few weeks ago. Companies use this strategy when they think you’ll be less likely to notice a dip in quantity than a hike in the price.

We see something similar in the world of retail, particularly fast fashion. Fast fashion offers cheaper garments made from low-quality materials that last about as long as the trend does, so people can throw them away and buy the next hot thing. This can be a real problem because fast fashion harms the environment and leads to exploitative labor practices. And the tough part is—even for the most conscious of consumer, it's hard to escape from.

Here's a prime example of what this looks like in the real world. A few months ago, a TikTokker named Tom (@SideMoneyTom), popular for making videos about consumer products, went viral for a video where he called out shoe manufacturers for dropping their quality while keeping prices high. “So many of you guys want to shoot the messenger, but look, it's not my fault shoes are made out of Styrofoam and oil now,” Tom says in a TikTok with over 528,000 views. “It's literally every shoe you look at now. It's not even just the cheap ones. I can find hundred dollar plus pairs of shoes all day long with glue squeezing out of their Styrofoam cracks.”

@sidemoneytom
Replying to @Oscar Magaña shoes are done #fyp #shoes #foryou

Tom notes that recently, shoes have been made with foam soles instead of rubber. Both have pros and cons. Foam is a little more comfortable, but rubber lasts a lot longer. Rubber shoes keep shape and support over time and are much more durable. Conversely, foam shoes compress over time, losing their support and comfort. When companies sell cheaper shoes that wear out more quickly, they make much more money because you must keep replacing them.

In the video, Tom adds that many companies that used to have shoes made with rubber heels, such as Carhartt and Timberland, have switched to foam. This is an interesting choice for brands that pride themselves on selling durable products.

Cora Harrington, a writer and lingerie expert, says that companies aren't entirely to blame. Americans don’t want to pay higher prices. “People don’t exactly want to pay more for all that stuff,” Harrington told Vox. "So what has to happen if everything is more expensive and the customers still want to pay the same price, something has to be cut and that’s often going to be the quality of the garment.”

“There is an entire generation of consumers at this point that doesn’t actually know what high-quality clothing feels like and looks like,” Harrington continues. “It gets easier, I think, for consumers to just not know any better.”

@sidemoneytom
Replying to @donkles #shoes #fyp #sketchers #nike

Many commenters have noticed the decline in shoe quality and praised Tom for pointing it out. "I am so happy I’m not the only one who is baffled by shoes being made of styrofoam and then being upcharged for them," one commenter wrote. "When shoes started being named some version of 'Air Light Cloud float,' my thought was it was because they went from quality rubber to cheap foam and less materials,” another commenter added.

Tom believes the decline in shoe quality is an example of a more significant trend affecting American consumers' products: quality is decreasing while prices remain the same. “The quality of everything is going to hell, and the prices are going up," Tom concludes his video. "The problem is, so many of us have just become used to it that we keep buying it, and we basically allow them to dumb down the quality of everything. Everything in our lives. These shoes are just the tip of the iceberg. Start thinking about it in your life. What are you gonna allow to be garbage quality?"

This article originally appeared in March. It has been updated.

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In 1969, the Monkees appeared on The Johnny Cash Show and played a stunning, original country song

"Nine Times Blue" is a jaw dropping intersection of craftsmanship and pure talent.

the monkees, nume times blue, monkees live, monkees country, johnny cash show

via Colleen Gruver/YouTube

The Monkees perform on "The Johnny Cash Show."

The great debate about The Monkees is whether they were a real band or just a group of actors thrown together for a TV show. The answer is yes. They were actors cast to play an American version of The Beatles, and many of their early songs were written by big-time professional songwriters such as Tommy Boyce, Bobby Hart, Neil Diamond, Carole King, and Gerry Goffin.

However, The Monkees would pick up their own instruments, play on the 1967 Headquarters album, and perform as a live band on sold-out tours. After a resurgence in the '80s, the band enjoyed a lucrative career as a legacy act, with various members continuing to perform as The Monkees until Michael Nesmith died in 2021. Nesmith, originally a country singer from Dallas, Texas, wrote several of The Monkees' hits, including "Mary, Mary," "Papa Gene's Blues," "The Girl I Knew Somewhere," and "Listen to the Band," and was a driving force in the group being taken seriously as musicians.

By the summer of 1969, The Monkees' TV series was off the air, and the affable Peter Tork had exited the group, citing exhaustion. The remaining three soldiered on, performing on The Johnny Cash Show to promote their latest album, Instant Replay. The band chose to perform "Nine Times Blue," a country song written by Nesmith that he had demoed at the time but wouldn't be released until he recorded it as a solo artist in 1970.

The performance is a wonderful reminder that The Monkees were great comedic actors and accomplished musicians. Davy Jones and Micky Dolenz do a fantastic job singing harmonies on the chorus, while Nesmith plays some nice fills on his Gibson acoustic.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Later in the show, The Monkees joined Cash for a performance of his 1966 novelty song, "Everybody Loves a Nut," which perfectly suited the band's comedic sensibilities. Two weeks after the release, Cash scored one of his biggest hits with "A Boy Named Sue," recorded live at San Quentin prison.

A few months later, Nesmith left The Monkees to pursue a country-rock career, first with the seminal group The First National Band, which scored a Top 40 hit with "Joanne" from the album Magnetic South.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Although Nesmith's country-rock albums of the '70s were moderately successful, he was still overshadowed, as a musician, by The Monkees' towering success and subsequent downfall. In the '70s, it wasn't easy for Nesmith to get the respect he was due as a country artist. But in the years leading up to his death in 2021, Nesmith's work was reappraised, and he was seen as a brilliant songwriter who anticipated the rise of alt-country.

The Monkees hold a complicated place in rock 'n' roll history. While some see them as a prefabricated band assembled to cash in on The Beatles' success, others recognize them as talented musicians brought together under bizarre circumstances who forged their own path and created something fresh and innovative, only earning proper respect years later.

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'How entitled could you be?' UPS driver shares blunt message about stay-at-home moms.

“Let’s get real!"

stay at home mom, sahm, stay at home dad, sahd, kids, family, marriage, gender roles, good dads, ups driver, ups

via J.R. Minton (used with permission)

A Texas UPS driver has a strong opinion on stay-at-home moms.

J.R. Minton, a 33-year-old UPS driver from the Dallas, Texas, area, recently ruffled some feathers with a viral TikTok video titled “SAHMs Listen up!” that begins with him asking, “I mean, how entitled could you be?” At first, Minton appears to fail to appreciate the enormous amount of emotional, mental, and physical labor that stay-at-home moms provide.

“I truly cannot imagine the amount of arrogance you must have to sit there and complain when you are so privileged to have a person who is willing to provide such a carefree life for you,” Minton continues. “Let’s get real! What do you do all day? Your spouse is taking care of everything so you can take care of one thing. How complicated could it be: all you do is go to work?”

At this point, legions of stay-at-home mothers and those who love them considered trucking themselves to Dallas to find this unappreciative UPS driver. However, it was soon apparent that Minton was referring to himself.

@minton__jr Grow tf up—You should be doing more. #sahm #sahmlife #momlife #mom #momsoftiktok #sahmsoftiktok #sahmtok #momtok ♬ SAHMs Explained - J.R. Minton

“For 10 hours a day, you get to live the life of a single, childless, carefree man because your wife was willing to take the financial risk of allowing you to be successful in your career while she takes care of everything else,” he continues. “She provides childcare services, home cleaning services, medical services, food services, scheduling services, and a list that goes on and on. And you provide... a paycheck? And you have the nerve to call yourself the provider! What is it going to take for you to realize that, bro, everything you have in your life is because of a stay-at-home mom.”

The commenters on the video breathed sighs of relief and then praised Minton, a father of 4, for publicly appreciating his wife’s work.

"My sleeves were rolled up, earrings were off, hair tied up.... I was so ready...." one commenter joked. "I thought I landed in enemy territory for a min..." another added. "You have just made me realize after all these years that *I* am the freaking provider and that feels amazing,” a stay-at-home mother wrote.

People appreciate Minton’s post because he praised stay-at-home mothers and placed his wife’s work above his, which he characterized as merely bringing home a paycheck. Minton has one job, delivering packages, but as he noted, his wife is an expert in over five different professions. In a world where stay-at-home moms are fighting to be seen as equals to their working spouses, Minton places them on a pedestal and owes his “carefree life” to them.

stay at home mom, sahm, stay at home dad, sahd, kids, family, marriage, gender roles, good dads, ups driver, ups A couple cooking in the kitchen with a cat sitting on the table beside chopped ingredients.Photo credit: Canva

"Married life, with children, is bound to be chaotic," Minton told Upworthy. "It’s bound to have its ups and downs; It’s made me question myself a thousand times. However, the marriage my wife and I share has given me the space to find peace."

Minton may be sharing an opinion we don't hear often enough, but he doesn't think he's the only one who thinks that way. "The last thing I am is rare or unique. There’s nothing special about the way that I feel or the things that I say. I have the same thoughts, feelings, frustrations and problems that any other husband or father might be struggling with," he told Upworthy. "The only difference that might be apparent is how I choose to react to the same situations any other man might encounter."

This post isn’t the first time Minton has pulled the bait and switch on his followers. Last year, he made a video where he appeared to take pride in the fact that he never “helps” his wife with chores.

@minton__jr ♬ original sound - J.R. Minton

The twist in this video was that he doesn’t “help” his wife with chores because they are also his responsibility. "Because I do what I am supposed to do as a father and a husband. I cook. I clean. I do the laundry. I take care of the kids. I can't help my wife do those things because they are my job, too,” he reveals.

He then urged men to change their perspectives on how they view stay-at-home moms. “Change the way you speak, change the way you think, and grow the f*** up and be a man," he added.

Minton is an equal partner to his wife because he wants to treat his wife and family differently from how he was raised. “Pretty much everything about my parenting style is in spite of what I saw when I was growing up,” he told Today.com.

@minton__jr I will not be explaining further. #dating #marriage ♬ original sound - J.R. Minton

It's wonderful to see someone like Minton breaking the generational cycles. What makes it even better is that he wants to teach others to do the same.

This article originally appeared in January 2025.

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27 words and phrases that people agree are overused and need to be retired in 2026

"Every term invented to get around TikTok censors."

words, overused words, therapy speak, 2025 slang, filler words, retired phrases, ask reddit, 2026 slang,

Photo credit: Canva

No one is gonna miss '6 7.'

It’s pretty customary for humans to collectively latch on to certain words or phrases for a time, only to grow tired of them once the trendiness wears off. That’s by and large how we get generational slang in the first place. One man’s “rad” is another man’s “bussin.” The linguistic circle of life, as it were. `

But the rapidity of social media has certainly seemed to make this turnover move at the speed of light, hasn’t it? It takes a fraction of the time for words to get overused, misused, change meaning, and lose meaning altogether.

That’s probably why when someone on Reddit asked, “What overused word or phrase needs to be retired in 2026?” there was no shortage of passionate answers. From warped psychology terms to nonsensical Gen Alpha brainrot words, people delivered.

Keep scrolling for our favorites.

Sensational journalism words

Slam Excited GIFfrom Slam GIFs

1. ’Slammed’ by the news.”

2. “Also while we're at it, ‘bombshell,’ ‘destroyed,’ ‘meltdown,’ and ‘disaster.’"

3. “Blasted. Clap back.”

“Those are telltale signs that what you're about to read is heavily biased and was written to evoke emotions instead of giving just the facts so it's basically trash.

Therapy speak

Tell Me Lies GIFfrom Tell Me Lies GIFs

4. “Gaslighting. People love to use this term wrong. It doesn't mean ‘lying,’ it means ‘manipulating somebody into believing they're crazy.’ That involves lying, but they're not the same thing. Also every term invented to get around TikTok censors. ‘Unaliving,’ ‘graped,’etc.”

5. “Calling anyone who does anything slightly annoying a narcissist.”

6. “Similarly, anytime someone feels just a little proud of themselves for something and/or compliments themselves, it's ‘ego.’ Not hating and constantly putting yourself down isn't ego. It's healthy.”

7. “Trauma.You don’t have trauma from the Starbucks barista mispronouncing your name, Djoeffreigh. And if you do, I am not interested in hearing about it.”

Aggressively passive-aggressive phrases

Passive Aggressive GIFfrom Passive GIFs

8. "People who use ‘the ick,’ ironically enough, give me the ick. Now I've given it to myself.”

9. “Thank you for your attention to this matter.”

10. “Louder for the people in the back.”

11. “‘Let that sink in.’ ‘Read that again but slowly.’ ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this, but…’”

12. "‘Just saying’ after being very aggressive.”

Social media buzzwords and phrases that have been run into the ground

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13. '''Let's normalize this.' please no.”

14. “Tell me you’re Y without saying it.”

15. “I’m begging people to stop saying’"its giving.’"

16. “I’m literally obsessed”

17. “X lives rent free.”

18. “That’s iconic, she’s iconic, they’re iconic.”

19. “Today years old”

Weird, cutesy parenting terms

Not Regular Cool Mom GIFfrom Wink GIFs

20. "Boy mom"

21. “I also hate ‘littles."

Words that do not mean what people think they mean

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22. “'Underrated'. Sick of seeing ‘OMG! This band/singer/guitarist/drummer is so underrated’ when they're clearly millionaires from the musical success they've enjoyed for years.”

23. “‘My truth.’ I like this one because it lets me know the next words out of their mouth are going to be bullshit.”

24. “According to AI.”

Phrases that kids today use that all us olds hate

South Park 67 67 South Park GIFfrom South Park 67 GIFs

25. “The grandkids are slowing down on 6 7 (FINALLY), and I haven’t heard them say ‘sigma’ for a while, so HOPEFULLY those are both going away forever!!

26. “‘Lowkey’ we’ve run it into the ground.”

“The new ‘literally.”

“Omg it's low key every second word my teen says.”

And finally…

Words that have lost their original meaning due to overuse

It'S A Game Changer Shea Whitney GIFfrom It'S A Game Changer GIFs

27. "‘Absolute game changer .’ I do product reviews, and I want to smack people for this one. Everything is a ‘game changer’ or a ‘holy grail.’ Bullshit, it is. That 5 star game changer is usually an overpriced piece of crap lol.”

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