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If you really want to #SaveTheChildren, stop sharing QAnon conspiracy theories

If you really want to #SaveTheChildren, stop sharing QAnon conspiracy theories

Apparently, I'm being paid off by pedophiles.

This payoff is news to me, but it's what Some Random People on the Internet are saying, so it must be true, right? That's how this works? What other reason would I have for sharing factual information about the very real issue of child sex trafficking and calling out false stories of Satanic pedophile rings in which famous evil overlords like Tom Hanks, Oprah, and Hillary Clinton torture and sacrifice children to increase their own power? I simply must be "in on it" somehow.

That seems to be more plausible in some people's minds than the idea that the wild "Pizzagate" child sex ring theory, which has already been thoroughly and repeatedly debunked, could be fabricated by online trolls and perpetuated by politically-motivated players. People believe Pizzagate is real because they've been convinced that the entire media industry is in cahoots and because fringe "sources" with no oversight and no accountability—who insist they're the only ones telling the truth—said so.


Here's the thing about such conspiracy theories. (Yes, I know. Some of you think the term "conspiracy theory" was coined by the CIA—read this and stay out of my inbox, please.) Some conspiracy theories are goofy, but harmless. The "flat earth" thing, for example, or the idea that we faked the moon landing. Those beliefs are easily disproven and obviously ridiculous, but no one is being hurt by them. We can all laugh, shake our heads, and move on.

But these outrageous child sex trafficking conspiracy theories like those pushed by QAnon are harmful. Child sex trafficking is a very real, very serious, and very lucrative industry that organizations and governments have been battling for a long time. But QAnon isn't just saying "child sex trafficking is real and important and we need to shed a light on it." They're saying "There is a secret, global cabal of Satan-worshiping pedophiles who control everything—including politicians, the media, and Hollywood—and who engage in child sex trafficking and ritual sacrifice to harvest adenochrome from children, and Trump is here to save us all from their evil and it's only a matter of time before they all go down."

Those are two very different things—the issue of child sex trafficking (which is real) and the idea that Hillary Clinton literally sucking the lifeblood out of children in a pizza parlor basement (which doesn't even exist). The fact that we're nearly four years into Trump's presidency and none of these supposed Satanic pedophiles have actually been arrested—despite Trump supposedly knowing all about their dastardly deeds, according to Q—is more than a little weird. But that isn't stopping people from believing this stuff.

It's also not stopping people from hijacking perfectly good hashtags associated with perfectly good organizations and using them to "raise awareness" about this evil. This is why the #SaveTheChildren hashtag is suddenly showing up everywhere. As Kevin Roose wrote in the New York Times:

"The idea, in a nutshell, is to create a groundswell of concern by flooding social media with posts about human trafficking, joining parenting Facebook groups and glomming on to hashtag campaigns like #SaveTheChildren, which began as a legitimate fund-raising campaign for the Save the Children charity. Then followers can shift the conversation to baseless theories about who they believe is doing the trafficking: a cabal of nefarious elites that includes Tom Hanks, Oprah Winfrey and Pope Francis."

Some unsuspecting people are using this hashtag to talk about child sex trafficking in general, but many posts refer to the evil Hollywood elite and include various QAnon hashtags along with it. And by evil Hollywood elite, they don't mean the legitimate issue of Jeffrey Epstein and investigations into his sleazy, slimy, sick habits. They mean "The Cabal."

Some #SaveTheChildren posters are surely unaware that they've been sucked into a conspiracy theory web of disinformation, but those of us who have been following the QAnon phenomenon recognize the virtual fingerprints of a QAnon push. Some of it is obvious, like seeing the #WWG1WGA (a QAnon acronym—"Where we go one, we go all") accompanying many of these posts. But it's also the fact that #SaveTheChildren was soon changed to #SaveOurChildren. Why? Because QAnon followers got wind that Bill and Melinda Gates financially support the actual Save the Children organization that the hashtag originally was used for. And Bill Gates, of course, is one of those "evil global elites" who, according to QAnon, created the coronavirus on purpose in order to push his vaccine agenda and depopulate the planet.

So yeah. The #SaveTheChildren thing is a big effing mess.

What's the big deal, though? Isn't it just important that we raise awareness about child sex trafficking in general? Of course it is. But unfounded conspiracy theories are not only unhelpful to that cause, but actively harmful.

The Polaris Project is an organization that provides social services to victims of sex trafficking, works with law enforcement to perform crisis interventions for possible victims of trafficking, and runs the U.S. National Human Trafficking Hotline. In a blog post, the organization explained how these unfounded conspiracy theories actually do harm to the child sex trafficking cause.

"A barrage of conspiracy-related reports from people with no direct knowledge of trafficking situations can overwhelm services meant for victims," the site states, pointing out that the recent Wayfair child sex trafficking conspiracy theory flooded their hotline with more calls than they could handle, with zero real leads to real victims, clogging the line so that real victims couldn't get through. They also point out that such theories can lead to loss of privacy or safety for victims or innocent bystanders. (Check out the threats and violence the owner of Comet Ping Pong pizza parlor in Washington D.C. has had to deal with over "Pizzagate.")

In addition, and perhaps most importantly, "Conspiracies distract from the more disturbing but simple realities of how sex trafficking actually works, and how we can prevent it." In other words, all this Pizzagate and Wayfair and adenochrome-sucking nonsense actually pulls people away from the reality of child sex trafficking and interferes with the work people could actually be doing to help prevent it. Most children aren't kidnapped out of the blue to be sold and abused, but are trafficked or abused by people they know. (See this article written by a woman who was trafficked by her father throughout her childhood.) Polaris encourages people to learn more about what trafficking actual is, what it looks like, and how it generally happens, rather than circulating misinformation.

The bottom line: While #SaveTheChildren might seem like a righteous thing to share, we have to recognize that there's a boatload of misinformation that is being shared along with it, and such misinformation can do more harm than good.

What should we do then to actually fight for children who are wrapped up in sex trafficking? Follow legitimate organizations that have been doing this work for years. Pay attention to what they say, as well as what they don't. (You won't find any of them endorsing QAnon conspiracies. If there were truth to them, these are the folks who would be first in line to shed light on it and do something about it.) Here are some to check out:

Polaris Project

Love146

The Exodus Road

ECPAT-USA

Thorn

Operation Underground Railroad

International Justice Mission

You can also learn more about child sex trafficking on the United States Department of Justice website.

Child sex trafficking is worthy cause to get behind. Just makes sure you're getting behind the real issue, supporting real organizations with the expertise to help, and avoiding conspiracy theories that only serve to distract from the real work being done to actually #SaveTheChildren.

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guitar, learning a skill, neuroscience, music, exposure, passive exposure, gardening

A woman learning how to play guitar.

Learning a new skill, such as playing an instrument, gardening, or picking up a new language, takes a lot of time and practice, whether that means scale training, learning about native plants, or using flashcards to memorize new words. To improve through practice, you have to perform the task repeatedly and receive feedback so you know whether you’re doing it correctly. Is my pitch correct? Did my geraniums bloom? Is my pronunciation understandable?

However, a new study by researchers at the Institute of Neuroscience at the University of Oregon shows that you can speed up these processes by adding a third element to practice and feedback: passive exposure. The good news is that passive exposure requires minimal effort and is enjoyable.


"Active learning of a... task requires both expending effort to perform the task and having access to feedback about task performance," the study authors explained. "Passive exposure to sensory stimuli, on the other hand, is relatively effortless and does not require feedback about performance."


woman reading, woman book, young woman, studying, new skills A woman reading a book.via Canva/Photos

How to pick up new skills faster?

So, if you’re learning to play the blues on guitar, listen to plenty of Howlin’ Wolf or Robert Johnson throughout the day. If you’re learning to cook, keep the Food Network on TV in the background to absorb some great culinary advice. Learning to garden? Take the time to notice the flora and fauna in your neighborhood or make frequent trips to your local botanical garden.

If you’re learning a new language, watch plenty of TV and films in the language you are learning. The scientists add that auditory learning is especially helpful, so listen to plenty of audiobooks or podcasts on the subject you’re learning about.

But, of course, you also have to be actively learning the skill as well by practicing your guitar for the recommended hours each day or by taking a class in languages. Passive exposure won't do the work for you, but it's a fantastic way to pick up things more quickly. Further, passive exposure keeps the new skill you're learning top-of-mind, so you're probably more likely to actively practice it.

What is passive exposure?

Researchers discovered the tremendous benefits of passive exposure after studying a group of mice. They trained them to find water by using various sounds to give positive or negative feedback, like playing a game of “hot or cold.” Some mice were passively exposed to these sounds when they weren't looking for water. Those who received this additional passive exposure and those who received active training learned to find the water reward more quickly.

gardening, woman gardening, gardening shears, leaning gardening, weeds A woman tending to her garden.via Canva/Photos


“Our results suggest that, in mice and in humans, a given performance threshold can be achieved with relatively less effort by combining low-effort passive exposure with active training,” James Murray, a neuroscientist who led the study, told University of Oregon News. “This insight could be helpful for humans learning an instrument or a second language, though more work will be needed to better understand how this applies to more complex tasks and how to optimize training schedules that combine passive exposure with active training.”

The one drawback to this study was that it was conducted on mice, not humans. However, recent studies on humans have found similar results, such as in sports. If you visualize yourself excelling at the sport or mentally rehearse a practice routine, it can positively affect your actual performance. Showing, once again, that when it comes to picking up a new skill, exposure is key.

The great news about the story is that, in addition to giving people a new way to approach learning, it’s an excuse for us to enjoy the things we love even more. If you enjoy listening to blues music so much that you decided to learn for yourself, it’s another reason to make it an even more significant part of your life.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

This article originally appeared last year.

Immigration

2,000 people sing directly to ICE agents in Minneapolis, beautifully imploring them to come together

The "singing resistance" choir shows the power of incorporating art into peaceful protests.

singing resistance, singing protest, ice protest, minneapolis, non-violent resistance

The "singing resistance" is growing in Minneapolis and beyond.

From the night the Sons of Liberty dumped hundreds of chests of tea into Boston Harbor in 1773, Americans have protested government policies and actions they disagree with in various ways. Some have staged peaceful sit-ins, while others have rioted in rage. Millions have marched to make their voices heard, carrying signs and chanting slogans that express their displeasure with what's happening in their country.

But occasionally, a unique form of protest stands out. Several weeks into the ICE operation in Minneapolis, in which the federal government sent 2,000+ agents and officers to carry out "the largest immigration operation ever," and which has led to disruptions at schools, conflict between federal agents and the community, and the killing of U.S. citizens, thousands of Minnesota residents have taken to the streets in protest. Among them is a growing band of singers who, instead of calling out the government with shouting and chants, are calling in the federal agents with songs and signs, inviting them to join the resistance.


It's a different approach to take, tapping into the humanity of individual agents instead of confronting the government as a whole. But 2,000 people have added their voices to the "singing resistance," forming a massive choir. They gather at a church to practice their songs, then take their message to the places where ICE agents are staying, singing:

We walk the same ground

We've been torn apart

Put down your weapons

And sing your part


The effect of combining the arts with our constitutional right to peacefully assemble is powerful, and the signs the singing resisters are holding are, too: "Please ICE agents. Join Us." "Love > Fear," "Choose Humanity. Quit ICE." "Stop the Violence." "We Are Family." "Be the hero that walks away." "The time is always right to do what is right." "You, too, are here to love and be loved."

The Singing Resistance Instagram account shared the heart of the message the singers hope to send to ICE agents, imploring them to quit their jobs and join "the side of love and humanity":

"Under federal occupation, Minneapolis has been going through immense pain, rage, and grief. But when they come at us with violence, we fight back with love. We still have space in our hearts for ICE agents who are willing to walk away from the path of violence and take accountability for harm they’ve caused. We paid ICE agents a visit today to call them home."

Another song they sang says:

It’s okay to change your mind
Show us your courage
Leave this behind
It’s okay to change your mind
And you can join us
Join us here anytime

The idea of inviting agents and officers to join a resistance movement isn't without precedent. Singing resistance organizers shared that they were inspired by the Otpor! civil resistance that helped overthrow Serbian dictator Slobodan Milosevic in 2000. Otpor! members would chant, "You may not join us today, but you can join us tomorrow," when they were arrested by the police. Ultimately, when hundreds of thousands marched on Belgrade, most of the police and military joined the opposition and refused to follow Milosevic's orders to fire on the protesters.

According to an Ipsos poll conducted on January 30 and 31, 2026, a full 62 percent of U.S. adults feel ICE’s actions go too far, compared to 13 percent who think they don't go far enough and 23 percent who said it was about right. That disapproval is four points higher than the week before, indicating that the ICE operations are unpopular with Americans, even those who normally support the Trump administration's policies.

People from all over the United States shared words of encouragement for the choir, expressing how moved they are by the singing resistance:

"I love how the singing is both dissent/resistance and it feeds hope and replenishes energy. It is so soul-nourishing. I’d love to be a part of this! Sending my love and care to you all from Maryland as a MN born and raised woman. Sing on!!!"

"I think the music resistance is very effective and moving. Thank you for all your fine efforts from way over here in upstate New York. Thank you for standing up for all of us in the country."

"We are one chord, beautiful beautiful voices thank you so much for sharing Minnesota. I’m a musician and singer here in Eugene, Or, and when I hear hundreds of you singing like that, I cannot tell you how healing it is for me how powerful and indeed how brave."

"I have a song in my heart again! After weeks of crying crying in despair, thank you for singing us into a hopeful future of healing, reconciliation, and RESISTANCE❤️

"This is more revolutionary than so many know."

"Prince left his legacy forever. Minneapolis strong."

"This reminds me of Estonia's singing revolution and I'm here for it. ❤️❤️"

The Singing Resistance account has shared a toolkit and songbook and organized a virtual training on how to organize a local singing resistance choir for those interested in doing something similar.

The right to peacefully assemble and voice our disagreement with our government is guaranteed in the Constitution, and there are many creative ways to do it. When people are singing in harmony in the street, it not only gets attention, but it's hard to criticize or confront that kind of peaceful protest. (Imagine the optics of trying to break up a peacefully singing crowd.) Will the choir's earworms calling to their humanity really make a difference with any ICE agents in Minneapolis? Time will tell. In the meantime, people around the world are hearing them loud and clear and joining the harmonious chorus of non-violent resistance.

Popular

I showed my Gen Z kids 'Dead Poets Society' and their angry reactions to it floored me

"Inspiring" apparently means different things to Gen X and Gen Z.

Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society, gen x and gen z differences

Robin Williams played inspiring English teacher John Keating in "Dead Poets Society."

As a Gen X parent of Gen Z teens and young adults, I'm used to cringing at things from 80s and 90s movies that haven't aged well. However, a beloved film from my youth that I thought they'd love, "Dead Poets Society," sparked some unexpectedly negative responses in my kids, shining a spotlight on generational differences I didn't even know existed.

I probably watched "Dead Poets Society" a dozen or more times as a teen and young adult, always finding it aesthetically beautiful, tragically sad, and profoundly inspiring. That film was one of the reasons I decided to become an English teacher, inspired as I was by Robin Williams' portrayal of the passionately unconventional English teacher, John Keating.


The way Mr. Keating shared his love of beauty and poetry with a class of high school boys at a stuffy prep school, encouraging them to "seize the day" and "suck all the marrow out of life," hit me right in my idealistic youthful heart. And when those boys stood up on their desks for him at the end of the film, defying the headmaster who held their futures in his hands? What a moving moment of triumph and support.

My Gen Z kids, however, saw the ending differently. They did love the feel of the film, which I expected with its warm, cozy, comforting vibe (at least up until the last 20 minutes or so). They loved Mr. Keating, because how can you not? But when the movie ended, I was taken aback hearing "That was terrible!" and "Why would you traumatize me like that?" before they also admitted, "But it was so gooood!"

- YouTube youtu.be

The traumatize part I actually get—I'd forgotten just how incredibly heavy the film gets all of a sudden. (A caveat I feel the need to add here: Gen Z uses the word "traumatize" not in a clinical sense but as an exaggerative term for being hit unexpectedly by something sad or disturbing. They know they weren't literally traumatized by the movie.)

But in discussing it further, I discovered three main generational differences that impacted my kids' "Dead Poets Society" viewing experience and what they took away from it.

1) Gen Z sees inspiring change through a systemic lens, not an individual one

The first thing my 20-year-old said when the credits rolled was, "What? That's terrible! Nothing changed! He got fired and the school is still run by a bunch of stodgy old white men forcing everyone to conform!" My immediate response was, "Yeah, but he changed those boys' individual lives, didn't he? He helped broaden their minds and see the world differently."

 o captain my captain, dead poets society Individual impact isn't as inspiring to Gen Z as it was to Gen X. Giphy

I realized that Gen X youth valued individuals going against the old, outdated system and doing their own thing, whereas Gen Z values the dismantling of the system itself. For Gen X, Mr. Keating and the boys taking a stand was inspiring, but the fact that it didn't actually change anything outside of their own individual experiences stuck like a needle in my Gen Z kids' craw.

2) Gen Z isn't accustomed to being blindsided by tragic storylines with no warning

To be fair, I did tell them there was "a sad part" before the movie started. But I'd forgotten how deeply devastating the last part of the movie was, so my daughter's "Why would you do that to me?!" was somewhat warranted. "I thought maybe a dog would die or something!" she said. No one really expected one of the main characters to die by suicide and the beloved teacher protagonist to be blamed for his death, but I'd somehow minimized the tragedy of it all in my memory so my "sad part" warning was a little insufficient.

But also to be fair, Gen X youth never got any such warnings—we were just blindsided by tragic plot twists all the time. As kids, we cheered on Atreyu trying to save his horse from the swamp in "The Neverending Story" only to watch him drown. Adults showed us "Watership Down" thinking it would be a cute little animated film about bunnies. We were slapped in the face by the tragic child death in "My Girl," which was marketed as a sweet coming of age movie.

Gen Z was raised in the era of trigger warnings and trauma-informed practices, while Gen X kids watched a teacher die on live TV in our classrooms with zero follow-up on how we were processing it. Those differences became apparent real quick at the end of this movie.


3) Gen Z fixates on boundary-crossing behavior that Gen X either overlooked or saw as more nuanced

The other reaction I wasn't expecting was the utter disdain my girls showed for Knox Overstreet, the sweet-but-over-eager character who fell for the football player's cheerleader girlfriend. His boundary-crossing attempts to woo her were always cringe, but for Gen X, cringe behavior in the name of love was generally either overlooked, tolerated, or sometimes even celebrated. (Standing on a girl's lawn in the middle of the night holding a full-volume stereo over your head was peak romance for Gen X, remember.) For Gen Z, the only thing worse than cringe is predatory behavior, which Knox's obsessiveness and pushiness could arguably be seen as. My own young Gen X lens saw Knox and said, "That's a bit much, dude. Take it down a notch or three." My Gen Z daughters' lens said, "That guy's a total creepo. She needs to run far the other way."

run, red flag behavior Gen Z is much more black and white about behaviors than previous generations. Giphy Red Flag Run GIF by BuzzFeed

On one hand, I was proud of them for recognizing red flag behaviors and calling them out. On the other hand, I saw how little room there is for nuance in their perceptions, which was…interesting.

To be clear, I don't think my Gen Z kids' reactions to "Dead Poets Society" are wrong; they're just different than mine were at their age. We're usually on the same page when it comes to these kinds of analyses, so seeing them have a drastically different reaction to something I loved at their age was really something. Now I'm wondering what other favorite movies from my youth I should show them to see if they view those differently as well—hopefully without "traumatizing" them too much with the experience.

This article originally appeared in January.

social skills, michael baker, conversation tips, small talk, small talk tips, social science, how to be social, making friends

Two men having a conversation

You probably heard plenty of people say they hate small talk. You might even consider yourself someone who loathes it. One of the most common arguments against small talk is that it’s “superficial,” energy draining, and doesn’t foster a real human connection.

Well, according to British etiquette enthusiast and content creator on all things conversation-related (not to mention author) Michael Baker, “You don’t hate small talk. You’re just terrible at it.”


In an Instagram post, Baker argued that those who see small talk as “beneath them” are failing to see it as a “test” (for compatibility, connection, shared values, etc.), which will inevitably lead to getting “left out.”

He then gave five tips to help folks shift that mindset and make small talk work for them. Honestly, even those who aren’t adamantly against small talk might find themselves guilty of some of these mistakes and could benefit from making these tweaks.

five, five fingers, five tips, man, advice, help Young man holds up his hand to show five.Photo credit: Canva

#1 Avoid answering questions too literally

Perhaps in an attempt to be authentic, or to avoid taking up all the oxygen in the room, people might use responses that are accurate and succinct, but not exactly conversational. This doesn’t give the other person anything to “bounce off of,” which is what’s really being asked for.

To remedy this, Baker suggests to always give a real response plus a “hook.” He gave the example of saying “Mostly work, but I’m trying to teach myself how to play guitar. Chaos!” when asked, “What have you been up to?” rather than saying “Not much, just working.”

#2 Don’t ask questions like it’s a job interview

Baker says ask “open-ended, low-stakes” questions like “what’s keeping you busy outside of work?” to invite a sense of “play.” Conversely, asking things like “where are you from?” invites a sense of formality, pressuring people to “perform.”

social skills, michael baker, conversation tips, small talk, small talk tips, social science, how to be social, making friends Two women having a conversation at a coffee shop. Photo credit: Canva

#3 Allow depth to come in naturally

Since the thought of shallow conversation might seem uncomfortable, those who are small talk-averse might find themselves immediately asking overarching existential questions like, “What drives you?” Baker argues that one must trust that “shallow comes before depth,” and must be used as a “warm-up act.” Otherwise, people are put on the spot unnecessarily, which obviously doesn't foster connection.

#4 Initiate conversation instead of only speaking when spoken to

What may seem like “politeness” can come across as unapproachable. The good thing is: this is an opportunity for some “low-pressure,” even “lightly self-deprecating” observations. Baker used the example of saying, “That snack table’s dangerously close to me.”

#5 Treat small talk as the “main event”

social skills, michael baker, conversation tips, small talk, small talk tips, social science, how to be social, making friends Two women talking as the leave a yoga classPhoto credit: Canva

This might be the biggest tip of all. Here, Baker reminds us that for the majority of human interaction, small talk is the way in, and therefore should be “respected.” Virtually no one is going to say, “Let’s network,” but odds are they’ll easily comment on the weather. It’s our job to learn what they’re really saying with this mundane phrase.

Because, at the end of the day, “if you keep waiting for ‘real’ conversation, you’ll miss all the real opportunities,” Baker writes.

After reading these tips, you very well might still loathe the idea of small talk, which is totally fine. It doesn’t have to be for everyone, nor should it. But what Baker really presents here is a way to reflect on whether or not our attitudes are preventing us from making valuable connections. If we suspect that might be the case, then it could be worth experimenting with some of these tools.

If you’d like even more tips, Baker has a guide aptly titled Let’s Not Make It Weird, which you can check out here.

slowmaxxing, slow living, slowing down, calm, comfort, mental health, wellness, mental wellbeing, psychology

"Slowmaxxing" is all about doing one thing at a time, as slowly as possible, to re-train your nervous system.

Many of us live in a constant state of urgency. Technology and societal advancements have made progress and communication nearly instant, so the pressure to be "always on" and always productive has skyrocketed. We multi-task constantly, so much so that many of our lives can be perfectly summed up by our overloaded web browsers. The average person has five to ten browser tabs open at any given time, with many juggling dozens or even hundreds at a time. We've got a work spreadsheet, a potential dinner recipe, a PDF form for the doctor, and a bill-to-be-paid all sitting there staring at us while our phones and chat apps buzz and ping.

Not surprisingly, this level of chaos is not good for our brains, and it's only made worse by the rise of algorithmic, short-form social media content that has wreaked havoc on our body's dopamine reward system.


But some people are claiming they've found a solution, and the experts seem to agree that it can help. It's called "slowmaxxing" and it's beautiful in its simplicity.

If you're not fluent in Gen Z brainrot vernacular, the suffix "maxxing" just means to optimize that aspect of your life. "Looksmaxxing," for example, is an intense form of grooming, diet, exercise, skincare, and fashion to get the most of our your appearance. "Slowmaxxing," then, is living life as slowly as possible.

The idea of slow living is nothing novel, but "slowmaxxing" really began to take hold in the last few years after a since deleted Tweet went hugely viral:

"You need to be reading long, fat books. You need to be making 48-hour chocolate chip cookies. You need to spend hours watching wildlife, you need to spend 15+ min making your coffee. You need to breathe in and out. You need to be slow."

Millions viewed and shared the post, and it has since been iterated and re-posted on Instagram and TikTok countless times. The sentiment, it seems, has really struck a nerve with people who feel burnt-out and overloaded.

@monroviaboycore

You need to 🤗 this song is “rust.” I hope you add it to all your summertime playlists :) #folkmusic #gregoryalanisakov #taylorswift

Doing things slowly sounds great. It sounds cozy, comforting, and calming. But what it does to your brain may actually be critically important.

First, we have to understand what our "fast-paced" lifestyle is really doing to our psychologies, and why it feels wrong and uncomfortable for so many of us when we try to rest.

"When someone spends years in a high stimulus environment, with all the constant pings, rushing to get here and there, attempts at multitasking, their nervous system becomes so adapted to urgency that resting actually feels unsafe," Stephanie Steele-Wren, a licensed psychologist and owner of PsychologyWorks tells Upworthy. "The brain essentially learns that stillness is an unfamiliar concept and becomes suspicious if you aren’t always doing something."

That's why slowing down and resting isn't merely as simple as sitting down to read a book, or laying on the beach once or twice a year. When you're not well-practiced in the art of stillness, those moments of rest feel uncomfortable or even scary. Sometimes, even incredibly simple mundane inconveniences like waiting for a glass of water to fill up or standing in a short line for coffee can be excruciatingly frustrating.

"Intentionally slowing down is less about relaxing and more about recalibrating how our nervous systems respond to the environment," Steele-Wren says.

The good news is that it's easy to try slowmaxxing. Any screen-free task that you focus on without multi-tasking for an extended amount of time is great training for your brain and nervous system:

  • Making and drinking your morning coffee as its own activity (perhaps while staring out the window)
  • Soft hiking, or leisurely strolling through nature and taking in the sights, smells, and sounds with no emphasis on distance, exercise, or destination
  • A walk around the block with no music or podcast
  • Cooking at your own pace and savoring the colors and flavors of the ingredients
  • Enjoying slow, screen-free meals—maybe on a patio where you can people watch or listen to the birds
  • Reading a book for long stretches, appreciating and re-reading the prose and not rushing to check it off your To Be Read list
  • Listening to music as a primary activity and not background noise
  • Walking next to or behind "slow walkers" instead of zooming around them
  • Not racing through yellow lights, and being content to catch the next cycle

The concept is simple, but slowmaxxing may feel uncomfortable or difficult at first. That's a strong sign that it could do you some good.

"If slowing down feels uncomfortable, that discomfort is okay. The brain is simply reacting the way it has been trained," says Steele-Wren. She says grounding tasks like using a fidget spinner can be useful if your body is feeling overwhelmed by the need to do something during moments of stillness.

"A helpful approach that helps over time is to start with very very small doses of slowing down. Maybe that is sixty seconds or so of intentional slowness, such as brushing your teeth mindfully, folding laundry without a podcast and no streaming services on in the background, or drinking one cup of coffee without picking up your phone."

She adds that it takes practice and consistence to re-train the way your body and brain react to slowness and come out of "24/7 survival mode."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The benefits, once you've begun to re-regulate, are enormous. One of the biggest laments of many adults is how quickly time goes by, and that it seems to go by faster and faster as we age. Ironically, slowing down and doing less may be one solution.

"Make a conscious effort to slow down. Take a few moments to release your attention from activity and take in the reality of where you are and what you’re doing. You might find that your day becomes longer as a result," writes author Steve Taylor for Psychology Today. "By living slowly, we experience much more reality, since we become present. We also find life much less stressful, and more fulfilling."