Child sex trafficking organizations set the record straight on QAnon conspiracy theories

“Over 800,000 kids go missing in the U.S. every year! Child sex trafficking is the REAL pandemic. #SaveTheChildren #SaveOurChildren #ChildLivesMatter #Pedogate #Pedowood” If you’ve been on social media in the past month or two, you’ve likely seen memes or posts to this effect. And if you’re a person with a conscience, it likely caught your…

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“Over 800,000 kids go missing in the U.S. every year! Child sex trafficking is the REAL pandemic. #SaveTheChildren #SaveOurChildren #ChildLivesMatter #Pedogate #Pedowood”

If you’ve been on social media in the past month or two, you’ve likely seen memes or posts to this effect. And if you’re a person with a conscience, it likely caught your eye. Children being trafficked for sex—that’s horrible!

Yes, it is. It’s absolutely horrible. Child sex trafficking is basically the worst thing human beings can do, no question. But what do those #Pedogate and #Pedowood hashtags mean?

Yes, those. Unfortunately, they point directly to a QAnon-perpetuated conspiracy theory in which the world is being controlled by an elite global cabal of pedophilic Hollywood celebrities and high-level politicians (including Tom Hanks, Oprah, Hillary Clinton, and more) who secretly traffick, abuse, and torture children so they can harvest a fear-induced hormone in their blood to make adrenocrhome, which they consume to keep them young and/or imbibe during their drug-crazed Satanic rituals.

What?! That’s crazy.

Yes, it is. It’s absolutely crazy. But there are a baffling number of people who believe it, including people who will likely soon be serving in Congress. Many of these people are sharing the #SaveOurChildren and #ChildLivesMatter hashtags right along with #Pedowood and #Pedogate. They conflate this huge number of missing kids with the issue of child sex trafficking, and then point to the celebrity/politician cabal conspiracy theory in the same breath, as if it’s all the same thing.

It is not.


The reality is that child sex trafficking is a multi-billion dollar, heinous, disgusting, global industry—but it’s not new. It’s not a sudden and massive crisis that “the media” is ignoring or that governments and NGOs aren’t addressing. Unfortunately, QAnon believers have pushed a lot of misinformation and misleading information into the awareness surrounding this issue that needs to be corrected.

To get to the heart of what child sex trafficking really looks like—and to be thorough in the debunking of QAnon’s child trafficking theories—we spoke with organizations whose work centers around stopping trafficking and protecting missing and exploited children.

The QAnon Misinformation

A common question people who have been sucked in by the QAnon world ask is: How do you know it’s not true if it’s never been investigated?

Some things are simply too ridiculous to be entertained, which honestly should be the case with the QAnon cabal theory. But since it’s somehow slipped into the mainstream, it has to be addressed head on.

So I swallowed my pride and directly asked anti-trafficking organizations—the people who specialize in this subject and are intimately involved in investigations—whether or not there was any truth to the theory. It was humiliating, frankly, but I straight up asked them: “It’s a known fact that child abusers often hide in plain sight and that high-profile people can be abusers. Based on your work, have you seen any evidence that there is a global cabal of pedophile elites who traffick children in a coordinated underground effort to harvest adrenochrome?”

Across the board, the answer was “No.”

I also asked this question: “Pedophiles and traffickers sometimes use coded symbols and code words in their communications with one another. Is there any official documentation that the words ‘pizza’ or ‘hot dog’ or ‘sauce’ have been used for such a purpose? (Or more directly, are the Wikileaks emails evidence of child sex trafficking?)”

Again, the answer was no. Of course.

(For those new to Conspiracyland, the code words question came from the claim QAnon folks make that the FBI has a list of code words and symbols that support the Pizzagate theory, which posits that Hillary Clinton and associates were discussing their dastardly pedophile deeds in code words—pizza, sauce, etc.—via emails released by Wikileaks. The FBI has documented known pedophile symbols, but none of the supposed code words in the Wikileaks emails are listed among them And the Washington D.C. police have called Pizzagate “a fictitious online conspiracy theory.”)

Erin Williamson, VP of Global Programs for Love146—an organization that has been working with sex trafficking prevention and survivor care for 17 years—says that conspiracy theories like this just makes more work for the people trying to do the work of educating the public.

“If somebody comes to know trafficking and has no preconceived notions of what trafficking is, you’re starting with a blank slate,” she says. “You can build from zero. But if someone’s coming to the trafficking movement or approaching this issue with preconceived incorrect information, then first you have to get them to the point where they realize all of the information that they’ve learned thus far is inaccurate before you can start building the accurate information. And it just is going to take so much longer to get people to a point where they actually understand what this accurately looks like.”

A national organization that asked to remain anonymous (understandable, considering how my own inbox fills with people accusing me of being a pedophile each time I write about how QAnon is bunk) told Upworthy, “Questions like this distract from the realities of how sex trafficking actually occurs. Offenders do often communicate in code but we haven’t seen any such official documentation and don’t consider the Wikileaks emails credible. Unfounded conspiracy theories minimize, distract and draw valuable resources away from the tireless work being done by child protection advocates on the ground.”

The Polaris Project, which runs the National Trafficking Hotline, offered an example of how resources get usurped by these theories. Last month, a rumor started circulating in the QAnon sphere that the Wayfair website was being used to traffick children because someone spotted an strangely expensive cabinet with a female name.

“The Wayfair theory resulted in online harassment and privacy intrusions of people mistakenly believed to be victims, as well as broad sharing of online sexual abuse material of actual victims who have not been connected in any way to Wayfair,” Polaris told Upworthy. “This harm is real for survivors who want to maintain their privacy, victims who are being re-exploited by broader distribution of their abuse materials, or bystanders whose lives can be overwhelmed by the actions of potentially well-meaning online communities.”

In addition, Polaris adds, “Conspiracies distract from the more disturbing but simple realities of how sex trafficking actually works, and how we can prevent it.”

But isn’t awareness about child sex trafficking a good thing, even if it’s not all factual?

Love146’s Erin Williamson says no.

“In the short term, it might make people aware that there is an issue of child trafficking that exists,” she says.”But if that doesn’t lead to somebody actually engaging with the issue and taking effort to join the movement to actually effectively eradicate the issue, then no. It’s harmful. It’s just a bunch of white noise that’s sucking up resources.”

“The question really is how many of the people are going to, as a result of this, actually have enough concern about child trafficking that they do more research, effectively realize what the issue is about, and then consistently or actively engage in addressing it,” she adds. “And I don’t think we fully know the percentage. My concern is that that percentage will be pretty low.”

Perpetuating these kooky cabal theories does more to hurt the child sex trafficking cause than to help it.

Those Missing Kids Numbers

But what about all those missing children then?

Every organization I spoke to pointed out that there are no hard and fast numbers because there’s no way to know exactly how many kids are being trafficked or exploited beyond what gets reported. We know that a lot of exploitation doesn’t get reported, but most kids who go missing do get reported somewhere.

Two organizations pointed me to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) for missing children statistics. The NCMEC states, “According to the FBI, in 2019 there were 421,394 NCIC entries for missing children. In 2018, the total number of missing children entries into NCIC was 424,066.” They clarify that this number represents individual reports of missing children, not the number of missing children themselves. If a child runs away multiple times in a year, each instance is counted separately and included in the yearly total, so the total number of missing children is likely less than those total numbers.

That’s a lot of children; however, the vast majority of missing kids make it back home pretty quickly. Think of kids who run away to a friend’s house and the parents can’t find them, kids who get lost temporarily, or kids who get taken or not returned by a parent in a custody dispute.

The kids who don’t return home and who are at risk of exploitation are where NCMEC comes in. In 2019, they assisted law enforcement and families with more than 29,000 cases. Less than one percent of those were non-family abductions, so the idea that loads of kids are just being snatched out of nowhere and sold for sex is totally inaccurate. In addition, NCMEC reports that 91 percent of those cases (around 26,300) were endangered runaways, and of those kids, 1 in 6 were likely victims of child sex trafficking. One is too many, of course, and these numbers are significant. But they’re nowhere near 800,000.

Statistics come in various forms, of course. The Polaris Project, which runs the National Trafficking Hotline, tells Upworthy, ” In 2019, the National Human Trafficking Hotline reported 2,582 underaged individuals involved in trafficking situations (all types).” However, they note, “It is incredibly important to note that these figures cannot be construed as prevalence.”

Again, one child is too many, and these statistics only represent a fraction of the problem. Sharing these numbers is not meant to downplay the issue at all, but rather to explain that there’s no real basis for the idea that 800,000 kids go missing and get sucked into child sex trafficking each year in the U.S.

So where did that number come from? There were some articles in the early 2000’s that cited numbers close around 800,000. But the most recent statistics are shared above.

Numbers are always a bit fuzzy. What we do know is that children are being trafficked and exploited. Far too many, far too often.

What Child Sex Trafficking Really Looks Like

Child sex trafficking is a complex industry. Sometimes it looks like children being physically transported place to place and being bought and sold for sex. Sometimes it’s kids being used to create child pornography. Sometimes it’s a drug-addicted parent renting out their children to get money for their addiction. Sometimes it’s teens recruiting other teens to engage in sex or create sexual images for money.

Love146’s Williamson explained that trafficking can look very different in different parts of the world.

“We run a program in the Philippines, and most of our children come into that program under 10,” says Williamson.. “We’ve accepted kids under the age of one into that program. In those situations, it’s really familial a lot of times, and a lot of what is happening is happening over webcams. You’ll also see reports of labor trafficking happening in other countries at very young ages.

“What we see in the United States and what we’re working with is different. We’re not seeing as many under 10 year olds trafficked. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen—it does. But more of what we’re seeing are adolescents. Preteen and teenagers who are being groomed and recruited, and while some is familial, a lot is not familial.”

Williamson explains that the term “runaway” is a bit of a misnomer because some runaways are teens who get pulled away from home by traffickers in sneaky ways.

“Part of what traffickers do is they recruit and groom,” she says. “They engage in a relationship for the purposes of exploiting this kid for trafficking. So it can appear that a kid is running away, or choosing to leave their house willingly, but it’s actually an intentionality on the part of the traffickers to make it appear that way…to make it appear that way to law enforcement, to the parents, and to the child themselves. So the child says things like, ‘I chose to go, I chose to meet up with so and so who I met online, or to meet up with so and so who I met in the park.’ So again, even when we talk about the term runaway…they’re really being groomed and recruited away from their home.”

One common theme among the organizations I communicated with is that there are well-known conditions that greatly increase a child’s chances of being trafficked.

Polaris Project says:

“Traffickers recognize and take advantage of people who are vulnerable in certain ways. There are several factors that may make a child vulnerable to sex trafficking including having an unstable living situation, having a history of domestic or sexual abuse, being frequent runaways, being involved in the juvenile justice or foster care systems, experiencing poverty or financial need, and/or dealing with addiction. While anyone can be trafficked, just as anyone can become a victim of any crime, due to factors such as historical oppression, discrimination, and generational trauma, LGBTQ+ youth and youth of color are more likely to be trafficked.”

The anonymous organization also explained that certain conditions make kids more vulnerable. “Certain kids who are homeless or runaways, belong to certain minority groups, and who have contact with the child welfare system are particularly vulnerable to this type of exploitation.”

Polaris also points out, “In the case of child sex trafficking in particular, the vast majority of victims know their traffickers and trust them. They may be professional traffickers who carefully groom young people on line and lure them into trafficking situations. They may well also be their parents, or other family members or trusted friends.”

What We Can Do About it

Learning about the realities of child sex trafficking is the first step. The issue is complex and multi-faceted, but just because it’s not simple or easy to solve doesn’t mean there’s nothing we can do.

One active thing we can do is what trafficking looks like.

“Trafficking is rarely perpetrated by a total stranger who kidnaps children,” says Polaris Project. “What we frequently see through the Trafficking Hotline are stories of people being trafficked by intimate partners, family members, and others that they know and may even love and trust.”

We can also make sure kids we are in contact with know that we are safe people they can go to if they are in an unsafe situation.

“When we talk to kids, it is always the little things that made the difference,” says Love 146’s Williamson. “It is always the neighbor who asked how they were doing, who then they realized was a safe person, that they could eventually talk to about what was happening to them in their house. It is always the teacher who they would curse out who would say ‘I’m still here for you whenever you need something.’ It is the little things that make a difference in a child’s life.”

Williamson also points out that the systemic issues we debate over in our society also impact child sex trafficking, and addressing those issues will help reduce the vulnerabilities that lead to exploitation.

“For most of us who have been working in this field long enough, there’s now a general recognition that we’re not going to arrest and prosecute our way out of this issue,” she says, “We’ve tried that. That isn’t happening. We need to go upstream. We need to deal with all of the things that make people vulnerable—the inequalities, the racism, the sexism, the homophobia. We need to address all of these issues that have all sorts of consequences, of which trafficking is one of them. It takes a while to get somebody to understand how this is all interrelated.

So when I hear somebody say, ‘Black Lives Matter? What about children’s lives? There’s been a couple of quotes like that. ‘Why are we marching for Black Lives Matter? Where’s the outcry for trafficked children?’ and comparing those two. First of all, this is not a dichotomy—we should be addressing all of this. And my thing is when you look at the statistics, especially here in the United States, trafficking is disproportionately affecting children of color. And so racism is at the heart of both of these issues, when you’re talking about the disproportionality of violence against people of color. So it’s not an either/or. It’s actually a yes/and. Which is why we have to go upstream and start addressing some of these systemic issues.”

To learn more about the real issue of child sex trafficking, check out these organizations’ websites:

Polaris Project

Love146

The Exodus Road

ECPAT-USA

Child Rescue Coalition

Thorn

Operation Underground Railroad

International Justice Mission

  • Boomers and Gen Xers share 30 things they don’t miss from the ’80s and ’90s
    Boomers and Gen Xers discuss the things they don't miss from the 1980s and 1990s.Photo credit: Images via Canva
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    Boomers and Gen Xers share 30 things they don’t miss from the ’80s and ’90s

    Nostalgia is all about remembering how things were in the “gold old days.” But sometimes, upon further reflection, some things really sucked in the past despite how rosy our colored glasses made them look. Boomers and Gen Xers are reminiscing on the things they really don’t miss from the 1980s and 1990s. Over on Reddit,…

    Nostalgia is all about remembering how things were in the “gold old days.” But sometimes, upon further reflection, some things really sucked in the past despite how rosy our colored glasses made them look. Boomers and Gen Xers are reminiscing on the things they really don’t miss from the 1980s and 1990s.

    Over on Reddit, member pizzagamer35 posed the question to Boomers and Gen Xers: “What is something you do NOT miss from the 80s-90s?”

    Boomers and Gen Xers had plenty of throwback experiences and products they are happy to never come across again. These are 30 of the most nostalgic responses from Boomers and Gen Xers about things they don’t miss about the ’80s and ’90s.

    landline, landline phone, 90s phone, phone call, retro phone
    Saved By The Bell Laughing GIF Giphy

    “Long distance phone bill.” —gohdnuorg

    “Having to wait until after 7pm or whatever so you could call your long distance friends because it was free after that.” —raz0rbl4d3

    “Answering the landline and having no idea who’s calling. Just raw, unfiltered anxiety.” —Fit-Interview-3886

    “Not having GPS.” —recrysis

    “Smoking or non smoking and still be in the smoking section.” —Less-Lengthiness4863

    smoking, smoke, cigarettes, smoking section, smoking 90s

    mothers day smoking GIF Giphy

    “Using those Noxzema pads to burn and dry out my pimply face. It had a smell, too.” —poizon_elff

    “Waiting for JPGs to load one line at a time.” —timmayd

    “Those hair ties with the two giant plastic beads on them that EVERY mom used to tie up their daughter’s hair in pigtails. God forbid she lose her grip on one while she was already ripping your soul out through your scalp.” —Honey-Badger-90

    “Third degree burns from metallic seat belt fasteners.” —JLMTIK88

    “Not being able to use the internet if someone needed the phone line to be free.” —Joshawott27

    internet, internet 90s, dial up internet, old internet, slow internet

    Girl 90S GIF Giphy

    “Satanic panic.” —Historical_Spot_4051

    “Buying a CD and realizing all the songs suck, except for one, maybe two.” —11B-E5

    “Batteries and flashlight bulbs. Holy crap they were crap. I still remember seeing the little LED light on our shitty car radio and asking dad what kind of light that tiny dot was. He told me it was a diode and diodes kinda ‘last forever’. I immediately wondered why the hell we weren’t developing that tech.” —snoozieboi

    “Shoulder pads.” —Thin_Apartment_8076

    shoulder pads, shoulder pad, 80s shoulder pads, 90s shoulder pads, vintage style

    Mc Hammer Dancing GIF by Jukebox Saints Giphy

    “Ordering pizza by calling the restaurant and yelling your order to a guy in a noisy kitchen. Missing an episode of your favorite TV show (or forgetting to tape it if you had a VCR) and not being able to see it until summer reruns, or maybe never.” —Imaginary-List-4945

    “Terrible contact lenses.” —MandatoryMatchmaker

    “To contribute something small: manual computer defragmentation. It took several hours and you couldn’t do anything else.” —rena-vee

    “Pay Phones that gave you limited talk time.” —Aggravating-Iron9804

    pay phone, payphone, payphones, payphone, 90s phone

    Season 3 Marge GIF by The Simpsons Giphy

    “Gym class. Boys were expected to know how to play sports. My dad taught me how to fix tractors and cut firewood, but he didn’t teach me sports because no one ever taught him. The gym teacher didn’t teach us sh*t. When we f*cked up or didn’t know what to do, the jocks would laugh and the teacher would join in the fun.” —Fluffy-Cupcake9943

    “The ‘heroin chic’ body type.” —Heartbreak_Star

    “Panty hose.” —Kitty-haha

    “Aqua net=hair that absolutely did not move! And you could see little hairspray bubbles .” — IAmTheBlackStar1979

    “Having to rewind VHS tapes like it was a part-time job.” -—Repulsive_Corgi_6187

    vhs, vhs tape, vhs rewind, rewinding vhs, vhs rewinding

    Animated GIF Giphy

    “Waiting by the radio for your song to play so you can record it on tape.” —mycrml

    “Serial killers. They just can’t exist at the same level anymore. Plus we got all the lead out of stuff. So now people are 100% normal. 100%.” —PrimeNumbersby2

    “Manual roll up/down windows in cars.” —Human-Average-2222

    “Carpeted bathrooms. someone shared a bunch of pictures of them on some nostalgia account and i could smell the pictures through my phone .” —GoblinHeart1334

    “Busy signal on the phone.” —crjconsulting

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Gen X has been designated the ‘worst grandparents.’ Sadly, their explanation makes sense.
    Gen X designated the 'worst grandparents' by MillennialsPhoto credit: Canva
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    Gen X has been designated the ‘worst grandparents.’ Sadly, their explanation makes sense.

    Generation X, typically the children of Baby Boomers born between the years of 1965-1980 tend to have a complicated reputation depending on who you ask. Some view them as a feral generation never to be spoken of poorly without consequence, while others view them as innovators pushing us into the future. But in recent years,…

    Generation X, typically the children of Baby Boomers born between the years of 1965-1980 tend to have a complicated reputation depending on who you ask. Some view them as a feral generation never to be spoken of poorly without consequence, while others view them as innovators pushing us into the future. But in recent years, Gen Xers have been dubbed the “worst grandparents” by social media users.

    This multi-year conversation started when a video went viral calling Gen X out for being “terrible” grandparents, claiming that they never want to help with grandchildren. It didn’t take long before other Millennials piled on to air their own grievances about Gen X grandparents. Most people criticizing the “new grandparents” were genuinely perplexed as to how they did not want to be more involved in the lives of their grandchildren.

    Gen X; Gen X grandparents; absent grandparents; Gen X worst grandparents; Millennials; worst grandparents; Gen Z
    Family baking fun in the kitchen. Photo credit: Canva

    Kylie Muse reveals in a video that she felt neglected by her Gen X parents growing up, saying, “It’s quite a common theme for Gen X parents to be neglectful in some capacity and it’s just crazy to me how more of them haven’t learned from the past 20 to 30 years, instead of these grandparents seeing their kids having kids as an opportunity to restore the health in their relationships with their kids by showing up and helping them during the hardest transition of their lives, they would rather double down and compromise their relationship with that next generation. All for the sake of hyper-individualism and pride.”

    @kylies.muse

    Gen x grandparents and their beloved empty nest ? just say you hate having a family ? #grandparents #grandparentsoftiktok

    ♬ original sound – Kylie | Wellness + Lifestyle

    The critique coming from the younger generation is not lost on Gen X, and they started coming out in force to respond with such vigor you’d think John Hughes had just announced the re-release of The Breakfast Club. It would seem that some of the people complaining of the lack of involvement have not considered that Gen X could have valid reasons for not immediately jumping in to take on grandparenting in the way some expect. A man by the name of John S. Blake gives a candid look into why Gen X was neglected as children and, in turn, became hype-independent at an early age.

    “As a Gen X who’s been on this earth long enough to have some hindsight I can tell you this, being independent at a young age is not a flex, what it actually means is capitalism is so brutal that our parents were forced to neglect their own children to stay alive. My generation was struggling so much that we had to leave our children unattended in order to produce enough so that we could afford to exist,” Blake says.

    But perhaps one of the most heart wrenching explanations comes from an elder Millennial who goes by the name Amazing Dea. In response to another Millennial who asks about Gen X being let off the hook, Dea shares, “Being as though you look like you might be a younger Millennial, let me go ahead and enlighten you. Generation X and older Millennials had to live through more than just this pandemic. We had the crack epidemic, we had the AIDS epidemic and let me tell you something, it was scary as f***.”

    Dea went on to explain that there were apartment complexes burned due to high populations of people with AIDS living in them and how they would witness people go from being completely normal to being addicted to crack in a matter of weeks. It seems that depending on socioeconomic status, Gen Xers lived wildly different lives with the common theme being growing up entirely too fast at an extremely young age.

    Gen X; Gen X grandparents; absent grandparents; Gen X worst grandparents; Millennials; worst grandparents; Gen Z
    Three generations smiling by the sea. Photo credit: Canva

    Another person kindly breaks down the confusion over why Gen X isn’t rising to the occasion of being award-winning grandparents. In response to the criticism she replies, “We grew up in a different time, first of all. A lot of us, meaning me, Gen X, I was raised by boomers. A lot of us did not get raised by our grandparents. We were like the feral kids, like by 7 and 9 years old we were actually babysitting our brothers and sisters, alright.”

    The woman explains further in the video that Gen X doesn’t want to raise their grandchildren or simply be babysitters, that there’s a difference between expecting grandparents to be involved and expecting them to be babysitters.

    @that1crazy72

    Let’s take it a step further. You share DNA with your grandkids they are part of you not everyone gets the privilege of being a grandparent so if you are one take that as a blessing #genxgrandparents

    ♬ original sound – That1crazy72

    In many of the response videos shared by Gen Xers, they certainly seem to love their grandchildren and children alike, but there’s a discrepancy in expectation. The consensus of the forgotten generation seems to be that they had adult responsibilities much too early, were exposed to adult life experiences at a young age, and were often left to their own devices for long periods of time while also being told that their voices didn’t matter.

    While the argument seems to be around their lack of involvement as grandparents, they appear to be saying that they want to enjoy the freedom they didn’t have as children, while being valued as a person and not a babysitter. In many follow up videos, Gen Xers gushed over their grandchildren and how they loved when they were around. It’s just that they draw the line at raising them. Maybe for some, their experiences with their own childhood isn’t enough to move Gen X out of the “worst grandparents” category, but for others it provides much needed context.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • I spent a week chatting with people over 80. Here are 4 pieces of wisdom they shared.
    Two hands of different ages grasp one another.Photo credit: Canva
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    I spent a week chatting with people over 80. Here are 4 pieces of wisdom they shared.

    There are only a few things in this life we can’t evade. One of them is aging. Sure, there’s Botox and facelifts and all that jazz to help us look younger. But in the end, our cells simply insist on keeping score, and no matter how hard some might fight it, our DNA is bombarded…

    There are only a few things in this life we can’t evade. One of them is aging. Sure, there’s Botox and facelifts and all that jazz to help us look younger. But in the end, our cells simply insist on keeping score, and no matter how hard some might fight it, our DNA is bombarded with hits that will eventually take us down.

    The good news is that with years often comes wisdom. I like to think of our minds as though they were hiking trails. Each trail has a sign, but instead of telling us which way to go, the signs remind us who we are. This past week, I was honored to read some of those signs at the senior home where my mom resides. Nearly every conversation, at least for me, yielded little sage sachets of advice that are truly invaluable.

    Know someone before you marry them.

    A woman in her early 80s shared that it takes about a year for someone’s “true nature” to be revealed, even in the most intimate of relationships. (This, at least according to a professor she had in graduate school.) In other words, she says, “A person can hide their psychological pathologies, on average, for about a year.”

    So, she wishes younger people would wait at least that long before moving in or getting married. “Slow down,” she said. “Really take your time before you take the leap. Everyone puts their best foot forward at first and then sometimes that mask can slip. Don’t get stuck.”

    elderly man, elderly woman, relationship, honeymoon phase
    A man kissing a woman near the ocean. Photo by Esther Ann on Unsplash

    Some research shows that the “honeymoon phase” can, of course, vary in length. Brides.com shares, “The honeymoon phase is an early part of a couple’s relationship where everything seems carefree and happy. It usually lasts from six months to two years and can be marked with lots of laughs, intimacy, and fun dates.”

    No matter how long that phase lasts, her advice to slow down and really get to know someone before fully committing seems like (mostly) a good idea.

    Listen to your doctors

    elderly man, doctor's office, health, blood pressure

    A doctor examining a patient’s wristu00a0with a stethoscope Photo by CDC on Unsplash

    I met a woman who was a retired OBGYN. We talked at length about perimenopause, hormones, and life after 50. She urges, “Do the research, but also (for the most part) listen to your doctors. Most of them know what they’re doing.”

    We both kind of laughed, and then she leaned in and said, “No. Really.” She added, “Nothing wrong with getting a second, or even third opinion. But listen and read all you can before it’s too late.”

    Understand that time is precious

    elderly, aging, friendship, time,

    Two men play chess. Photo by Vlad Sargu on Unsplash

    One thing my mom rather casually mentioned really stuck with me. This was how difficult it is to make new friends—and not for reasons one might think. Sure, senior living facilities can be just as cliquey as groups were in middle school. But for my mother, it was less about fitting in and more about fearing she would lose people as she grew to love them.

    “No one warns you how many of your new friends will pass on. When I first moved here, I befriended a brilliantly funny woman and within six months she was gone. This happens more and more and you never get used to it. You’re never prepared.”

    If you don’t want to eat dinner at 4:30, you don’t have to.

    On a simpler note, this one might be obvious to some, but it was certainly a common topic among the people with whom I spoke. Even though they serve dinner at 5:00 in many senior homes, it doesn’t mean you can’t put it in Tupperware and save it for later. To that point, just because people age, doesn’t mean they have to go to bed at 8:00 p.m. (Though for many, that timeline is just perfect.)

    One man noted, “Just because we all live in one place doesn’t mean we all become one person. We’ve got night owls and early birds and every other kind of bird you could imagine. Eat and sleep when you want to. It’s still your life.”

    His friend added, “If you want to play Mahjong at midnight, do it!”

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Ohio library pokes fun at McDonald’s CEO by taking the ‘eat a book’ challenge
    Columbus Metropolitan Library CEO Lauren Hagan "eats" a book. Photo credit: Columbus Metropolitan Library/X
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    Ohio library pokes fun at McDonald’s CEO by taking the ‘eat a book’ challenge

    McDonald’s President and CEO Chris Kempczinski went viral recently after taste-testing the new Big Arch burger. Kempczinski, dressed in a light blue sweater, refers to the burger as “product” (not a burger, mind you) and takes a very timid bite, looking uncomfortable eating his own food. The video inspired the CEOs of Burger King, Wendy’s,…

    McDonald’s President and CEO Chris Kempczinski went viral recently after taste-testing the new Big Arch burger. Kempczinski, dressed in a light blue sweater, refers to the burger as “product” (not a burger, mind you) and takes a very timid bite, looking uncomfortable eating his own food.

    The video inspired the CEOs of Burger King, Wendy’s, and Kentucky Fried Chicken to take confident bites of their burgers, while Jack in the Box’s mascot, Jack, warned against timid eaters. Just when it looked like the burger wars were flaming out, the Columbus Metropolitan Library in Ohio stepped up with a challenge of its own: make the CEO “eat a book like it’s a hamburger.”

    The library’s X feed is known for sharing interesting local history while also having fun.

    On March 5, the library issued a challenge to its X followers: If the post reached 10,000 likes, CEO Lauren Hagan would eat a book. The tweet did much better than that, receiving more than 60,000 likes.

    After the post took off, the social media manager began to regret his decision. 

    The CEO of the Columbus Metropolitan Library was challenged to eat a book “like a hamburger”

    In a follow-up video in which the social media admin promised the CEO would eat a book, he explained to Hagan how the library got caught up in the burger wars. After a quick cut, Hagan gets into character. “Hi, I’m Lauren Hagan, CEO of Columbus Metropolitan Library,” she says. “Last week, more than 50,000 of you made your voice clear. You’d like me to eat my words. More accurately, the words of our social media admin, who did not tell me about this.” She then grabs a book from the top of a pile and, after a very obvious edit, chomps into something resembling the book, which was probably a block of fondant or compressed cotton candy. Hagan ends the video with a pitch for libraries everywhere: “Check out your library, but remember, read them, don’t eat them.”

    The video was perfectly acted

    The video was funny and well acted, and Hagan and the social media admin looked like they could have been cast in The Office. Commenters overwhelmingly thought the social media admin deserved a raise.

    The video brought a satisfying end to the burger wars and reminded people how much they love libraries.

    The most popular commenter on a Reddit thread about the video wrote:

    “Libraries are consistently great when allowed to be by their local governments and properly funded. I have never met a librarian who wasn’t an absolute gem of a person as long as they were treated respectfully. I feel like it’s the perfect example of letting people do what they love. Every librarian I’ve encountered had such a genuine love of reading and helping people find a book that it was hard not to get excited.”

  • Gen X teens in 1986 predicted what life would be like today. Here’s what they got right.
    How well did Gen X teens predict what life would be like today?Photo credit: BBC Archive/YouTube
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    Gen X teens in 1986 predicted what life would be like today. Here’s what they got right.

    Can kids predict the future? In 1966, the BBC’s Tomorrow’s World asked a group of 13-year-olds to share their predictions about what life in the year 2000 would be like. As you might expect, it was fascinating. Two decades later, the showrunners did the same thing again. Only this time, they asked the young teens…

    Can kids predict the future? In 1966, the BBC’s Tomorrow’s World asked a group of 13-year-olds to share their predictions about what life in the year 2000 would be like. As you might expect, it was fascinating.

    Two decades later, the showrunners did the same thing again. Only this time, they asked the young teens of 1986 what they thought life in 2020 would be like. How did Gen X’s answers about the future differ from those of their Baby Boomer predecessors?

    The 1966 cohort’s predictions dealt with space travel, robots, and computers. They were concerned about overpopulation and nuclear war.

    “That was before the manned moon landings, the microprocessor, strategic arms limitation talks, or test-tube babies,” the feather-haired host shared. “So have the hopes and fears of today’s 13-year-olds changed as they look forward to the year 2020?”

    The kids from 1986 offered their predictions:

    “Perhaps brain waves to convert into radio waves, sent to someone else, convert back into brain waves. And it’d be like, what would you call it, like a telepathy thing.”

    Cassette tapes from the 1980s neatly laid out on a table
    Kids who listened to music on cassette tapes had no concept of the Internet. Photo credit: Canva

    “Well, instead of a channel tunnel, you could have something like a space tunnel, where you could go [from] one planet to the other, like bypasses.”

    “Obviously, nuclear war worries me, but I don’t think that’ll happen unless they’ve got computers that press the button for them. Because no, I don’t think any human being is capable of actually pressing some button that releases all nuclear arms cuz it just means destruction of the world.”

    “I don’t think they’ll be living on Mars yet, but I think they’ll still be living around here.”

    “I think they may, unless they have another planet to go to, just there’ll be loads of tower blocks. Or people will be restricted to a certain amount of kids.”

    “Probably be computers running the country.”

    “But when it comes to wars and things like that, nuclear bombs, and then they’re designing these different gases that can kill people within seconds and things like that. I think that aspect of technology should be wiped out completely.”

    It’s interesting how similar many of the issues were between 1966 and 1986. Some of the worries these kids had are still major concerns 40 years later. But how accurate were their predictions of what 2020 would hold?

    The kid talking about not living on Mars yet was right. One could make an argument that computers do run the country, but not necessarily in the way a 13-year-old in 1986 would have imagined. They had no concept of the Internet at that point, which made imagining the reality of 2020 impossible. But the threat of nuclear war and questions about whether a person would ever actually “push the button”? That still feels relevant.

    However, it’s 2026, and there’s nary a space tunnel in sight, so that one was a bust. It’s wild to remember how we assumed things like flying cars and easy space travel would be common in adulthood. (And yet somehow Google Maps still feels like a miracle every time we use it.) It feels like we’re farther from actual telepathy than we imagined in the ’80s, but who knows? With advancements in nanotechnology and the Wild West of AI, even the near future feels entirely unpredictable.

    In 1985, wild-haired scientist “Doc” asked a philosophical question in Back to the Future: “Since when can weathermen predict the weather, much less the future?” Thankfully, we’ve drastically improved our ability to predict the weather since then. Predicting the future, however, remains as impossible as it has always been.

  • Expatriate reveals 8 words and phrases that mean the opposite to Brits and Americans
    Evan Edinger shares how the meanings of certain words are opposite in the U.K. and the U.S.Photo credit: Evan Edinger/YouTube
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    Expatriate reveals 8 words and phrases that mean the opposite to Brits and Americans

    The English language is full of idiosyncrasies and inconsistencies that can drive English learners batty. But even for native English speakers, some words and phrases can cause confusion in ways they may not expect. For instance, not only are there English words that mean opposite things depending on how they are used (called contronyms), but…

    The English language is full of idiosyncrasies and inconsistencies that can drive English learners batty. But even for native English speakers, some words and phrases can cause confusion in ways they may not expect.

    For instance, not only are there English words that mean opposite things depending on how they are used (called contronyms), but there are also words and phrases that have opposite meanings depending on where they are used.

    A person holding an American flag and a person holding a British flag
    A person holding an American flag and a person holding a British flag. Photo credit: Canva.

    Evan Edinger moved to the United Kingdom 13 years ago. He shares videos on YouTube about his experience as an American living in the U.K., including linguistic differences. For instance, saying the food in London is “quite good” may sound like a compliment, but it would likely be received as a bit of an insult by Londoners.

    “English is full of words that quietly flip meaning when you cross the Atlantic,” he says. “Words that you think sound polite or a compliment, like this one, can really land you in hot water if you use them across the pond.”

    “Quite”

    That’s because Americans generally use “quite” as an intensifier. If something is “quite good,” we see it as better than just “good.” For Brits, “quite” is often used as a dampener, so “quite good” can mean less good than simply “good.”

    “With all due respect…”

    Other opposite meanings are less subtle, like the phrase “with all due respect.”

    “I’ve lived in this country for over 13 years, and I’ve only found out this year, Brits do not mean this when they say it,” shares Edinger. “When an American says, ‘With all due respect,’ it’s usually just a polite way to pad out some criticism. ‘With all due respect, I think we should do it this way instead.’ Basically, ‘I respect you. I do. But I do disagree with you in this instance.’ In Britain, they say the same words, ‘with all due respect,’ but the implication is that they actually don’t respect you or your opinion at all. The amount of respect that you’re due? That’s in question. ‘With the respect you’re due,’ which, of course, is nothing.”

    “I’ll bear that in mind…”

    It’s a bit similar with “I’ll bear that in mind.” In the U.S., that usually means you’ll consider it and might actually do it. In the U.K., it more often means you have no intention of doing it and have probably already forgotten it.

    “Though diving deeper into the data, it would appear that Americans in the Northeast are significantly more likely to share the British stance,” Edinger adds. “I think that makes sense, actually. But overall, American culture prioritizes direct communication. If they like your idea, an American will probably tell you. Same as if they dislike it, you’ll know. As a lot of British culture emphasizes indirectness and not causing offense, expressions like, ‘I’ll bear that in mind,’ act as a polite way of refusing an idea without outright saying it to soften the blow.”

    To “table” something

    If you’re an American and you hear “let’s table that discussion,” it means, “Let’s not talk about this now. We’ll come back to it later, if we have time.” For Brits, it means, “Let’s talk about this right now.”

    “This is one expression that causes a lot of confusion in international meetings,” says Edinger. “In British English, to table a motion or an issue means to bring it forward for discussion. For instance, if an item is tabled in parliament, well, it has been figuratively put on the table to be addressed immediately.”

    In the U.S., it’s the opposite.

    “In both houses of the United States Congress, the motion to table is used to kill a motion without debate or further discussion,” he says. “Quite interesting that both countries’ political bodies have the same word that means quite literally the very opposite. It’s quite literally the difference between, ‘Well let’s talk about this immediately. It’s really important,’ and ‘Let’s never speak of this again.’”

    A “moot point”

    For Brits, a “moot point” is a point that’s debatable—something that can be argued either way, which aligns with its original meaning. A moot was an Anglo-Saxon assembly or court, so a moot point is one that would be argued there.

    For Americans, a moot point isn’t debatable—it’s irrelevant. It doesn’t matter. There’s no point in debating it at all anymore. (Or, as Joey on Friends would say, “Like a cow’s opinion.”)

    How did we end up with such an opposite meaning? Edinger explains:

    “Often, an important part of law school is arguing hypothetical cases in a moot court for practice. It’s similar to a mock trial. So, a moot point would be a point brought up in a moot court. During the 19th century in America specifically, this evolved more to focus on the hypothetical nature of the moot point.”

    Edinger points out that even the Supreme Court of the United States uses the term “moot question” to refer to a question that has no bearing on an issue.

    Solicitor

    In the U.S., when we hear the word “solicitor,” we usually think of a door-to-door salesperson or someone who knocks on the door trying to persuade us to buy something or believe something. People often hang “No Solicitors” signs on their front porches to deter them.

    A “No Solicitors” sign hangs on a door. Photo credit: Canva

    A “No Solicitors” sign in the U.K. might be confusing, as a solicitor is not a salesperson but “a qualified legal professional who provides specialist legal advice on different areas of law and is responsible for representing a client’s legal interests.” Americans would call them lawyers, but in the U.K., a lawyer could be anyone working in a law-related role.

    Public school

    A solicitor in the U.S. probably went to public school, and a highly regarded solicitor in the U.K. also probably went to public school, but the term means something completely different in each country.

    In the U.S., a public school is a free school funded by the government that anyone has the right to attend. In the U.K., a public school is one of the prestigious, selective, and expensive private boarding schools attended by the children of wealthy families. The famous Eton College is a public school in the British sense, but not at all in the American sense.

    To make matters even more confusing, what Americans call public schools, Brits call state schools. In the U.S., we usually use “state school” to refer to public universities.

    Momentarily

    If a pilot announces, “We’ll be landing momentarily,” Americans understand that to mean “very soon.” But for Brits, that sentence might be confusing, since “momentarily” means “just for a moment.” As in, maybe the plane will touch down and then immediately take off again.

    It’s the difference between “in a moment” and “for a moment,” which may not seem huge but could lead to big misunderstandings.

    It just goes to show that even when we speak the same language, there’s plenty of room for miscommunication.

    You can follow Evan Edinger on YouTube for more.

  • Mariel Hemingway’s emotionally raw poem about aging is hauntingly beautiful
    A woman studies her face in the mirror.Photo credit: Canva
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    Mariel Hemingway’s emotionally raw poem about aging is hauntingly beautiful

    Actress and author Mariel Hemingway has quite the legacy. Her grandfather was the famed Pulitzer Prize– and Nobel Prize–winning author Ernest Hemingway. In fact, her family is full of writers, actors, painters, and opera singers. Like her grandfather, she came by her own talents at a cost. Many of those gifts in acting and writing…

    Actress and author Mariel Hemingway has quite the legacy. Her grandfather was the famed Pulitzer Prize– and Nobel Prize–winning author Ernest Hemingway. In fact, her family is full of writers, actors, painters, and opera singers. Like her grandfather, she came by her own talents at a cost. Many of those gifts in acting and writing came with deep mental anguish.

    While Hemingway continues a successful career onscreen—she was nominated for a Best Supporting Actress Oscar as a teen for her role in Manhattan—she is also a writer. In exploring her complicated family struggles, she never seems to shy away from stripping away any semblance of ego. This is reflected in her work, where she bares vulnerable parts of life: mental health, depression, and most recently, aging.

    Her prose poem resonated with women everywhere

    In a recent Instagram post, she shared a close-up photo of her face—no smile and perhaps just a dash of makeup. With Sheryl Crow’s “If It Makes You Happy” underscoring the photo, she wrote:

    “I have been talking about aging lately.

    But today it is not aging.

    It is wrinkles.

    The lines around my mouth I swore I would never have.
    The soft crepe skin at my neck that seems to appear overnight.
    The mirror catching me in light I did not ask for.

    Some days I do not care.

    Other days it feels like a punishment.

    I eat well.
    I move my body.
    I take care of myself.
    I do the things we are told will protect us.

    And still… time touches my face.

    There is a voice that whispers,
    Why this? Why me? Why now?

    I know it is fashionable to say we earned our wrinkles.
    That this is graceful.
    That this is beautiful.

    And yes… part of me knows that is true.

    But another part feels something deeper.

    What I realized is this.

    The ache is not about the wrinkles.

    It is about identity.

    Somewhere along the way we start to believe the mirror is telling us who we are.

    That youth equals value.
    That smooth skin equals worth.
    That beauty equals belonging.

    And that is the lie.

    Because there is a woman inside of me who has not aged one day.

    She is calm.
    She is radiant.
    She is grounded.
    She is sovereign.

    She does not disappear because my skin changes.

    She was never my skin.

    She is my rhythm.
    My breath.
    My voice when I stop performing.

    Time changes the body.

    But it does not touch the throne.

    When I remember that, something softens.

    I stop fighting the season.
    I stop punishing myself for nature.
    I stop confusing appearance with identity.

    This is not about pretending you love every wrinkle.

    It is about remembering you are not the wrinkle.

    It is not what you add.

    It is what you remove.

    Remove the belief that beauty is youth.
    Remove the fear that aging equals invisibility.
    Remove the story that your value lives in your face.

    When there is nothing left to remove, the Queen remains.”

    Fans respond

    Her prose has clearly resonated with fans. More than 92,000 people liked the post, and over 5,000 have commented so far. Famous and non-famous Instagrammers alike chimed in to share how touched they were.

    Go-Go’s guitarist Jane Wiedlin exclaimed, “Yes! Exactly what you said. We are not allowed to age, at the same time men are elevated as they age, for their sage wisdom.”

    Comedian Chelsea Handler simply wrote, “Beautifully said.”

    Another woman shared a personal anecdote: “Last Sunday was my 70th birthday. I looked into the mirror and cried tears of joy. Lines and dark spots? No! They were tears of joy, gratitude, and for my life. If you make it this far, it’s for a reason. Life is so worth living. Who cares what I look like? I’m covered in paint every day anyway!”

    It’s beautiful to age

    Hemingway is far from the first woman to openly discuss the beauty standards seemingly placed on women in society.

    In a recent appearance on the podcast How to Fail with Elizabeth Day, actress Kate Winslet didn’t hold back. “We’re so conditioned, women in our 40s, to think, ‘Okay, well, I’m creeping closer to the end,’” she said. “You know, you think you go into menopause and you’re going to stop having sex, and your boobs are going to sag, and your skin’s going to go crepey, and all these things.”

    She continued, “First of all, so what? And secondly, it’s just conditioning. You know, I think women, as they get older, become juicier and sexier and more embedded in their truth and who they are. More powerful and more able to walk through the world and care less.”

    It can seem easier said than felt. Luckily, many women are feeling more empowered to get raw thanks to celebrities using their voices.

  • How an unethical World War 2-era study pushed Swedes only to eat sweets on Saturdays
    A man and woman at a Swedish candy store. Photo credit: Christin Bardenhorst/Flickr

    Swedes are known for their delicious and creative-looking, tiny candies available at the godisvägg (wall of candy) at their local grocery store. Just grab a bag, fill it up, and pay by weight. Some of Sweden‘s most popular pick-and-mix candies are, of course, Swedish Fish, Ahlgren’s Cars (a small automobile-designed marshmallow candy), Salmiak (salty licorice), and Polly candies that combine chocolate with a soft center.

    However, if you’re a child in Sweden, you’ll have to wait for Saturday to enjoy a bag full of the local godisvägg. That’s because, according to the Swedish tradition known as Lördagsgodis (Saturday candy), they only eat sweets once a week. It’s a sweet tradition, but it has a rather dark past.

    sweden, swedish candy, gummies, swedish fish, canday store
    Swedish candy. Photo credit: Let Ideas Compete/Flickr

    Why do the Swedes only eat sweets on Saturday?

    In 1946, as part of the Vipeholm dental study, the Swedish government forced mental patients in its hospitals to eat caramel and other sweets to observe their effects on teeth. After high sugar consumption was linked to tooth decay in the 1950’s, the Swedish government recommended that people eat sweets only once a week.

    At the time, trust in government was high, and the growing social safety net required the population to work together to maintain high public health standards. Plus, when the public takes good care of their teeth, it’s a lot easier for the government to pay for healthcare.

    The tradition also makes it easier for parents to say “no” to sweets and gives kids something to look forward to on the weekend.

    “Mostly, it’s a tool for managing candy, so that there’s no asking about candy during the week, and if they do, ‘It’s not Saturday.’ So, it’s a really a good way to control the sugar,” Therese Larri, a Swedish parent, told the BBC. “But then, it’s an event. They get to choose where we go, which store we go to, and then they take their time. It feels like a big part of the fun is to choose and plain, ‘What am I Gonna get?’”

    sweden, swedish candy, gummies, swedish fish, canday store
    Swedish candy. Photo credit: Swedennewyork/Flickr

    Lördagsgodis is great for Sweden’s dental health 

    The Lördagsgodis tradition is also better for people’s teeth because, according to research, it’s better to eat a pound of candy in one sitting and then brush your teeth than to spread the candy over a week and brush every night. The Vipeholm dental study found that sticky sweets eaten between meals cause far more cavities than larger amounts of candy eaten in one sitting. That’s probably a big reason why Swedish people have some of the best teeth in Europe.

    Dentistry Today found that Sweden has the fourth-best teeth in Europe, based on a study of 24 European Union countries, plus England and Switzerland. 

    The Lördagsgodis tradition and the science behind it could be a great way for parents in other countries to talk with their children about candy. Simply ask them: Would you like a little candy throughout the week, or one big day to gorge on an entire bag? If they say they’d take more candy, that’s the lesson of Lördagsgodis: If you can delay your gratification for a few days, you can have all the candy you like.

Culture

Ohio library pokes fun at McDonald’s CEO by taking the ‘eat a book’ challenge

Pets

A new law in Sweden requires its citizens to check on their cats at least twice a day

Generations

Gen X teens in 1986 predicted what life would be like today. Here’s what they got right.

Identity

Expatriate reveals 8 words and phrases that mean the opposite to Brits and Americans