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Child sex trafficking organizations set the record straight on QAnon conspiracy theories

Child sex trafficking organizations set the record straight on QAnon conspiracy theories

"Over 800,000 kids go missing in the U.S. every year! Child sex trafficking is the REAL pandemic. #SaveTheChildren #SaveOurChildren #ChildLivesMatter #Pedogate #Pedowood"

If you've been on social media in the past month or two, you've likely seen memes or posts to this effect. And if you're a person with a conscience, it likely caught your eye. Children being trafficked for sex—that's horrible!

Yes, it is. It's absolutely horrible. Child sex trafficking is basically the worst thing human beings can do, no question. But what do those #Pedogate and #Pedowood hashtags mean?

Yes, those. Unfortunately, they point directly to a QAnon-perpetuated conspiracy theory in which the world is being controlled by an elite global cabal of pedophilic Hollywood celebrities and high-level politicians (including Tom Hanks, Oprah, Hillary Clinton, and more) who secretly traffick, abuse, and torture children so they can harvest a fear-induced hormone in their blood to make adrenocrhome, which they consume to keep them young and/or imbibe during their drug-crazed Satanic rituals.

What?! That's crazy.

Yes, it is. It's absolutely crazy. But there are a baffling number of people who believe it, including people who will likely soon be serving in Congress. Many of these people are sharing the #SaveOurChildren and #ChildLivesMatter hashtags right along with #Pedowood and #Pedogate. They conflate this huge number of missing kids with the issue of child sex trafficking, and then point to the celebrity/politician cabal conspiracy theory in the same breath, as if it's all the same thing.

It is not.


The reality is that child sex trafficking is a multi-billion dollar, heinous, disgusting, global industry—but it's not new. It's not a sudden and massive crisis that "the media" is ignoring or that governments and NGOs aren't addressing. Unfortunately, QAnon believers have pushed a lot of misinformation and misleading information into the awareness surrounding this issue that needs to be corrected.

To get to the heart of what child sex trafficking really looks like—and to be thorough in the debunking of QAnon's child trafficking theories—we spoke with organizations whose work centers around stopping trafficking and protecting missing and exploited children.

The QAnon Misinformation

A common question people who have been sucked in by the QAnon world ask is: How do you know it's not true if it's never been investigated?

Some things are simply too ridiculous to be entertained, which honestly should be the case with the QAnon cabal theory. But since it's somehow slipped into the mainstream, it has to be addressed head on.

So I swallowed my pride and directly asked anti-trafficking organizations—the people who specialize in this subject and are intimately involved in investigations—whether or not there was any truth to the theory. It was humiliating, frankly, but I straight up asked them: "It's a known fact that child abusers often hide in plain sight and that high-profile people can be abusers. Based on your work, have you seen any evidence that there is a global cabal of pedophile elites who traffick children in a coordinated underground effort to harvest adrenochrome?"

Across the board, the answer was "No."

I also asked this question: "Pedophiles and traffickers sometimes use coded symbols and code words in their communications with one another. Is there any official documentation that the words 'pizza' or 'hot dog' or 'sauce' have been used for such a purpose? (Or more directly, are the Wikileaks emails evidence of child sex trafficking?)"

Again, the answer was no. Of course.

(For those new to Conspiracyland, the code words question came from the claim QAnon folks make that the FBI has a list of code words and symbols that support the Pizzagate theory, which posits that Hillary Clinton and associates were discussing their dastardly pedophile deeds in code words—pizza, sauce, etc.—via emails released by Wikileaks. The FBI has documented known pedophile symbols, but none of the supposed code words in the Wikileaks emails are listed among them And the Washington D.C. police have called Pizzagate "a fictitious online conspiracy theory.")

Erin Williamson, VP of Global Programs for Love146—an organization that has been working with sex trafficking prevention and survivor care for 17 years—says that conspiracy theories like this just makes more work for the people trying to do the work of educating the public.

"If somebody comes to know trafficking and has no preconceived notions of what trafficking is, you're starting with a blank slate," she says. "You can build from zero. But if someone's coming to the trafficking movement or approaching this issue with preconceived incorrect information, then first you have to get them to the point where they realize all of the information that they've learned thus far is inaccurate before you can start building the accurate information. And it just is going to take so much longer to get people to a point where they actually understand what this accurately looks like."

A national organization that asked to remain anonymous (understandable, considering how my own inbox fills with people accusing me of being a pedophile each time I write about how QAnon is bunk) told Upworthy, "Questions like this distract from the realities of how sex trafficking actually occurs. Offenders do often communicate in code but we haven't seen any such official documentation and don't consider the Wikileaks emails credible. Unfounded conspiracy theories minimize, distract and draw valuable resources away from the tireless work being done by child protection advocates on the ground."

The Polaris Project, which runs the National Trafficking Hotline, offered an example of how resources get usurped by these theories. Last month, a rumor started circulating in the QAnon sphere that the Wayfair website was being used to traffick children because someone spotted an strangely expensive cabinet with a female name.

"The Wayfair theory resulted in online harassment and privacy intrusions of people mistakenly believed to be victims, as well as broad sharing of online sexual abuse material of actual victims who have not been connected in any way to Wayfair," Polaris told Upworthy. "This harm is real for survivors who want to maintain their privacy, victims who are being re-exploited by broader distribution of their abuse materials, or bystanders whose lives can be overwhelmed by the actions of potentially well-meaning online communities."

In addition, Polaris adds, "Conspiracies distract from the more disturbing but simple realities of how sex trafficking actually works, and how we can prevent it."

But isn't awareness about child sex trafficking a good thing, even if it's not all factual?

Love146's Erin Williamson says no.

"In the short term, it might make people aware that there is an issue of child trafficking that exists," she says."But if that doesn't lead to somebody actually engaging with the issue and taking effort to join the movement to actually effectively eradicate the issue, then no. It's harmful. It's just a bunch of white noise that's sucking up resources."

"The question really is how many of the people are going to, as a result of this, actually have enough concern about child trafficking that they do more research, effectively realize what the issue is about, and then consistently or actively engage in addressing it," she adds. "And I don't think we fully know the percentage. My concern is that that percentage will be pretty low."

Perpetuating these kooky cabal theories does more to hurt the child sex trafficking cause than to help it.

Those Missing Kids Numbers

But what about all those missing children then?

Every organization I spoke to pointed out that there are no hard and fast numbers because there's no way to know exactly how many kids are being trafficked or exploited beyond what gets reported. We know that a lot of exploitation doesn't get reported, but most kids who go missing do get reported somewhere.

Two organizations pointed me to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) for missing children statistics. The NCMEC states, "According to the FBI, in 2019 there were 421,394 NCIC entries for missing children. In 2018, the total number of missing children entries into NCIC was 424,066." They clarify that this number represents individual reports of missing children, not the number of missing children themselves. If a child runs away multiple times in a year, each instance is counted separately and included in the yearly total, so the total number of missing children is likely less than those total numbers.

That's a lot of children; however, the vast majority of missing kids make it back home pretty quickly. Think of kids who run away to a friend's house and the parents can't find them, kids who get lost temporarily, or kids who get taken or not returned by a parent in a custody dispute.

The kids who don't return home and who are at risk of exploitation are where NCMEC comes in. In 2019, they assisted law enforcement and families with more than 29,000 cases. Less than one percent of those were non-family abductions, so the idea that loads of kids are just being snatched out of nowhere and sold for sex is totally inaccurate. In addition, NCMEC reports that 91 percent of those cases (around 26,300) were endangered runaways, and of those kids, 1 in 6 were likely victims of child sex trafficking. One is too many, of course, and these numbers are significant. But they're nowhere near 800,000.

Statistics come in various forms, of course. The Polaris Project, which runs the National Trafficking Hotline, tells Upworthy, " In 2019, the National Human Trafficking Hotline reported 2,582 underaged individuals involved in trafficking situations (all types)." However, they note, "It is incredibly important to note that these figures cannot be construed as prevalence."

Again, one child is too many, and these statistics only represent a fraction of the problem. Sharing these numbers is not meant to downplay the issue at all, but rather to explain that there's no real basis for the idea that 800,000 kids go missing and get sucked into child sex trafficking each year in the U.S.

So where did that number come from? There were some articles in the early 2000's that cited numbers close around 800,000. But the most recent statistics are shared above.

Numbers are always a bit fuzzy. What we do know is that children are being trafficked and exploited. Far too many, far too often.

What Child Sex Trafficking Really Looks Like

Child sex trafficking is a complex industry. Sometimes it looks like children being physically transported place to place and being bought and sold for sex. Sometimes it's kids being used to create child pornography. Sometimes it's a drug-addicted parent renting out their children to get money for their addiction. Sometimes it's teens recruiting other teens to engage in sex or create sexual images for money.

Love146's Williamson explained that trafficking can look very different in different parts of the world.

"We run a program in the Philippines, and most of our children come into that program under 10," says Williamson.. "We've accepted kids under the age of one into that program. In those situations, it's really familial a lot of times, and a lot of what is happening is happening over webcams. You'll also see reports of labor trafficking happening in other countries at very young ages.

"What we see in the United States and what we're working with is different. We're not seeing as many under 10 year olds trafficked. I'm not saying it doesn't happen—it does. But more of what we're seeing are adolescents. Preteen and teenagers who are being groomed and recruited, and while some is familial, a lot is not familial."

Williamson explains that the term "runaway" is a bit of a misnomer because some runaways are teens who get pulled away from home by traffickers in sneaky ways.

"Part of what traffickers do is they recruit and groom," she says. "They engage in a relationship for the purposes of exploiting this kid for trafficking. So it can appear that a kid is running away, or choosing to leave their house willingly, but it's actually an intentionality on the part of the traffickers to make it appear that way...to make it appear that way to law enforcement, to the parents, and to the child themselves. So the child says things like, 'I chose to go, I chose to meet up with so and so who I met online, or to meet up with so and so who I met in the park.' So again, even when we talk about the term runaway…they're really being groomed and recruited away from their home."

One common theme among the organizations I communicated with is that there are well-known conditions that greatly increase a child's chances of being trafficked.

Polaris Project says:

"Traffickers recognize and take advantage of people who are vulnerable in certain ways. There are several factors that may make a child vulnerable to sex trafficking including having an unstable living situation, having a history of domestic or sexual abuse, being frequent runaways, being involved in the juvenile justice or foster care systems, experiencing poverty or financial need, and/or dealing with addiction. While anyone can be trafficked, just as anyone can become a victim of any crime, due to factors such as historical oppression, discrimination, and generational trauma, LGBTQ+ youth and youth of color are more likely to be trafficked."

The anonymous organization also explained that certain conditions make kids more vulnerable. "Certain kids who are homeless or runaways, belong to certain minority groups, and who have contact with the child welfare system are particularly vulnerable to this type of exploitation."

Polaris also points out, "In the case of child sex trafficking in particular, the vast majority of victims know their traffickers and trust them. They may be professional traffickers who carefully groom young people on line and lure them into trafficking situations. They may well also be their parents, or other family members or trusted friends."

What We Can Do About it

Learning about the realities of child sex trafficking is the first step. The issue is complex and multi-faceted, but just because it's not simple or easy to solve doesn't mean there's nothing we can do.

One active thing we can do is what trafficking looks like.

"Trafficking is rarely perpetrated by a total stranger who kidnaps children," says Polaris Project. "What we frequently see through the Trafficking Hotline are stories of people being trafficked by intimate partners, family members, and others that they know and may even love and trust."

We can also make sure kids we are in contact with know that we are safe people they can go to if they are in an unsafe situation.

"When we talk to kids, it is always the little things that made the difference," says Love 146's Williamson. "It is always the neighbor who asked how they were doing, who then they realized was a safe person, that they could eventually talk to about what was happening to them in their house. It is always the teacher who they would curse out who would say 'I'm still here for you whenever you need something.' It is the little things that make a difference in a child's life."

Williamson also points out that the systemic issues we debate over in our society also impact child sex trafficking, and addressing those issues will help reduce the vulnerabilities that lead to exploitation.

"For most of us who have been working in this field long enough, there's now a general recognition that we're not going to arrest and prosecute our way out of this issue," she says, "We've tried that. That isn't happening. We need to go upstream. We need to deal with all of the things that make people vulnerable—the inequalities, the racism, the sexism, the homophobia. We need to address all of these issues that have all sorts of consequences, of which trafficking is one of them. It takes a while to get somebody to understand how this is all interrelated.

So when I hear somebody say, 'Black Lives Matter? What about children's lives? There's been a couple of quotes like that. 'Why are we marching for Black Lives Matter? Where's the outcry for trafficked children?' and comparing those two. First of all, this is not a dichotomy—we should be addressing all of this. And my thing is when you look at the statistics, especially here in the United States, trafficking is disproportionately affecting children of color. And so racism is at the heart of both of these issues, when you're talking about the disproportionality of violence against people of color. So it's not an either/or. It's actually a yes/and. Which is why we have to go upstream and start addressing some of these systemic issues."

To learn more about the real issue of child sex trafficking, check out these organizations' websites:

Polaris Project

Love146

The Exodus Road

ECPAT-USA

Child Rescue Coalition

Thorn

Operation Underground Railroad

International Justice Mission

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
True

In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.


“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

Family

Mom explains the 'dishonest' Boomer parenting style that hurts adults to this day

“How did I not hear about dishonest harmony until now? This describes my family dynamic to a T."

boomer parents, parenting styles, dishonest harmony, parents, older parents, '70s and '80s parents,

“What they want is dishonest harmony rather than honest conflict.”

There are certainly many things the Boomer parents generally did right when raising their kids. Teaching them the importance of manners and respect. That actions do, in fact, have consequences. That a little manners go a long way…all of these things are truly good values to instill in kids.

But, and we are speaking in broad strokes here, being able to openly discuss difficult feelings was not one of the skills passed down by this generation. And many Gen X and Millennial kids can sadly attest to this. This is why the term “dishonest harmony” is giving many folks of this age group some relief. They finally have a term to describe the lack of emotional validation they needed throughout childhood to save face.


Psychologists define the "dishonest harmony" approach as maintaining a façade of peace and harmony at the expense of addressing underlying issues. Parents who practice disharmony prioritize appearance over authenticity and are known to avoid conflict and sweep problems under the rug.

In a video posted to TikTok, a woman named Angela Baker begins by saying, “Fellow Gen X and Millennials, let's talk about our parents and their need for dishonest harmony.”

@parkrosepermaculture

Replying to @Joe Namath #boomerparents #toxicparent #harmony #genx #millennial #badparenting #conflict #nocontact

Barker, who thankfully did not experience this phenomenon growing up, but says her husband “certainly” did, shared that when she’s tried to discuss this topic, the typical response she’d get from Boomers would be to “Stop talking about it. We don't need to hear about it. Move on. Be quiet.” And it’s this attitude that’s at the core of dishonest harmony.

What the experts say about 'dishonest harmony'

"Research supports what many therapists witness daily: families that avoid conflict tend to experience higher levels of anxiety, depression, and relational dissatisfaction," writes Dr. Rachel White, LMFT, at Restoration Psychological Services. "According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), families who suppress conflict are more likely to develop covert communication patterns, where body language and tone carry more weight than actual words. This leads to confusion, emotional misattunement, and a cycle of disconnection.

How 'dishonest harmony' works in families

“What that’s showing is their lack of ability to handle the distress that they feel when we talk openly about uncomfortable things,” she says. “What they want is dishonest harmony rather than honest conflict. Keep quiet about these hard issues. Suppress your pain, suppress your trauma. Definitely don't talk openly about it so that you can learn to heal and break the cycle,” she continues. “What matters most is that we have the appearance of harmony, even if there's nothing harmonious under the surface.”

baby boomers, boomer parents, boomer couple, couple 60s, grandparents, A Baby Boomer couple.via Canva/Photos


Barker concludes that this need to maintain a certain facade led to most of the toxic parenting choices of that period. “The desire of Boomer parents to have this perception that everything was sweet and hunky dory, rather than prioritizing the needs of their kids, is what drove a lot of the toxic parenting we experienced.”

Barker’s video made others feel seen

“How did I not hear about dishonest harmony until now? This describes my family dynamic to a T. And if you disrespect that illusion, you are automatically labeled as the problem. It’s frustrating,” one person wrote in the comments.

“THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm a 49 yo biker sitting in my bedroom crying right now. You just put a name to my darkness!” added another.

baby boomers, boomer parents, boomer couple, couple 60s, grandparents, A Baby Boomer couple.via Canva/Photos


Many shared how they were refusing to repeat the cycle

One wrote, “This is EXACTLY my family dynamic. I’m the problem because I won’t remain quiet. Not anymore. Not again.”

“I love when my kids tell me what I did wrong. It gives me a chance to acknowledge and apologize. Everyone wants to be heard,” said another.

Of course, no parenting style is perfect. And all parents are working with the current ideals of the time, their own inner programming, and their inherent need to course-correct child-rearing problems of the previous generation. Gen Alpha parents will probably cringe at certain parenting styles currently considered in vogue. It’s all part of the process.

But hopefully, one thing we have learned as a collective is that true change happens when we summon the courage to have difficult conversations.

This article originally appeared last year. It has since been updated.

Internet

Why chasing 1,000 rejections might be the key to your biggest dreams

Gabriella Carr asked for 1,000 “no’s.” The universe had other plans.

rejection, tiktok, viral, no's, challenge

Gabrielle Carr introduces her "Year of 1,000 No's" notebook

If you opened Gabriella Carr's red notebook, you might expect to find a diary, a grocery list, or her homework. Instead, you'd find an organized, numbered list of failures.

That's one way to see it. Gabriella views it differently, though. To her, every entry in that notebook is a victory.


Gabriella, a content creator and actor, is embarking on a fascinating experiment she calls "The 1,000 No's." Her goal: to face rejection 1,000 times in a year. While the rest of us spend our days avoiding the word "no," Gabriella is hunting for it. She asks for opportunities she feels unqualified for. She puts herself in situations where rejection is likely.

Something unexpected happened on her quest for failure: she started to succeed.

In seeking "no's," Gabriella stumbled upon a life filled with unexpected "yeses." Her journey offers a fresh perspective on risk and rejection, and she's not alone in discovering the surprising power of failure.

The notebook that changed everything

Gabriella began her challenge in September 2025. As a creative, the sting of rejection was familiar. Casting directors passed on her self-tape auditions. Brand partners left her emails unread. The constant silence and dismissal started to take a toll on her self-worth.

She switched up her approach. Instead of striving for a "yes" and dreading denials, she set "no" as the goal.

rejection, tiktok, viral, no's, challenge This is where Gabrielle tracks her rejection journey.Photo credit: TikTok

Grabbing a red notebook and a permanent marker, she scrawled "The 1,000 Rejections of Gabrielle Carr" on its front and began to track her journey.

The results surprised her. Amid the rejections lay unexpected wins; she earned a spot in a national pageant she'd written off as a long shot and landed a role in a play.

When Gabriella shared her rejection journey on TikTok, it resonated with hundreds of thousands of people. They recognized their own fears in her red book.

"My daughter shared your account with me, and it inspired me to apply for my dream job! I haven't heard back yet, but yes or no, it felt good to be so daring!" read one comment. "I need to get an internship for spring, and I'm so scared," shared another. One viewer said that Gabriella's courage inspired them to apply for a federal job.

@misscuddy this challenge just gets us in side quests 😭 they took this so serious too so adorbs!#foryouu #nochallenge #rejectiontherapy #newyearsresolution ♬ original sound - Fbrl challenge creator

Users across the Internet are following her lead. TikTok user @theplanistobefamous tracks his outrageous haggling on Facebook Marketplace. Others record similar experiments—renegotiating lease agreements, asking strangers for fashion advice, pitching themselves to major brands for sponsorships.

Gabriella's experiment has led her to a powerful realization: what holds us back from our greatest dreams isn't a lack of talent or opportunity—it's the fear of asking.

Embracing the "no"

Gabriella follows in the footsteps of innovators who saw fear as their sole obstacle.

Jason Comely, a freelance IT specialist, first developed the concept of "Rejection Therapy" in 2009. After his wife left him, Jason felt isolated and hesitant to socialize. His fear of rejection had morphed into a psychological barrier, a self-imposed mental prison that prevented him from forming meaningful connections and living a free life. He recognized the trap he was in—and knew he needed to find a way to confront and overcome his fears.

To toughen up, he modeled his training after Russian special forces. He created a game with one rule: get rejected at least once a day. Accepted requests didn't count—he had to continue until he got a "no." This simple but powerful game became more than a personal experiment, resonating with people worldwide and blossoming into a global movement.

Jia Jiang took the challenge publicly as well. After a difficult rejection from an investor, he decided to try Jason Comely's "Rejection Therapy" experiment for 100 days. Jiang began recording his quest for no's, expecting to document a long string of awkward failures.

On day three, he strolled into a Krispy Kreme and asked an employee to make him doughnuts shaped like Olympic rings.

Jiang braced for laughter and a curt "no," but the employee caught him off guard as she began to sketch a design. Fifteen minutes later, she handed him a box of Olympic ring-shaped doughnuts, free of charge. This encounter went viral, touching millions with its heartwarming display of unexpected kindness.

In 2017, Jiang gave a TED Talk titled "What I Learned from 100 Days of Rejection," which garnered over six million views—one of the most popular lectures released that year.

Why rejection hurts (and how to overcome it)

If these experiments yield such positive results, why do we remain terrified of putting ourselves out there?

The answer lies in our biology. Psychologists have discovered that social rejection lights up the same areas of the brain as physical pain. In other words, hearing "no" triggers a reaction in your brain—the same one that activates when you slam a finger in the door or douse yourself with freezing water by accident.

rejection, pain, evolution, biology, psychology Social rejection feels just like physical pain to the brain.Photo credit: Canva

From an evolutionary perspective, this makes perfect sense. In the beginning, our ancestors relied on social groups for survival. Being a part of the tribe meant access to shared resources, protection from predators, and aid in child-rearing. Outcasts faced starvation and predators solo. Although we no longer live in small, nomadic tribes, your brain is still wired with that ancient software. It perceives modern rejections, like an unanswered text or a chilly response during a job interview, with the same primal panic as banishment from the group thousands of years ago.

This is why Gabriella's challenge works—it's a form of exposure therapy.

Exposure therapy is a well-established psychological method used to help people overcome phobias. The core idea is to gradually expose someone to the object of their fears in a safe and controlled way. For instance, if you have an intense fear of spiders, a good therapist won't place you in a room full of tarantulas. They'll ease you into it. The process might begin with something as simple as looking at a cartoon drawing of a spider. Once you're comfortable with that, you might move on to realistic photos, then to a video of a spider. By the end, you could end up in the same room as one or hold a harmless spider in your hands. This logical, step-by-step approach teaches your brain that what you fear isn't a real threat.

Gabriella's experiment works in a similar fashion. By seeking out small, manageable rejections—like requesting a song on the radio—she began to retrain her brain. With each mini-rejection, Gabriella's fear of hearing "no" faded, making it easier for her to take bigger risks, like signing up for that pageant.

Gen Z and the gamification of failure

This trend has seen a major resurgence with Gen Z viewers at the forefront. It's no surprise given today's challenges. Data shows Gen Z may be the "most rejected generation" in history. By February 2025, the average job posting received 244 applications. Young people sent out hundreds of resumes—and faced a wall of silence or boilerplate automatic rejections.

When life feels out of control, turning challenges into a game can help you regain a sense of agency. Instead of passively waiting and dreading rejections, people like Gabriella are making "no's" the goal. This shifts everything. This powerful reframing tool protects your self-esteem and spins a helpless situation into a conquerable hurdle—you can win the game by participating in life.

Ready to start your own rejection challenge?

You don't need to aim for 1,000 rejections or a "no" every day to benefit. If you want to strengthen your own "rejection muscle," here are some simple strategies to get started.

questions, bravery, asking, rejection, exposure Asking questions can be a form of bravery.Photo credit: Canva

Start with low-stakes requests

Begin by asking for something minuscule, like the time from a stranger. The goal is to feel that jolt of anxiety—then realize you're okay.

Know when to stop

Pushing your comfort zone is healthy, but remember to stay safe. As psychologist Dr. Elisabeth Morray explains, forcing yourself into situations that feel unsafe can yield traumatic outcomes. Know your limits—the goal is growth, not distress.

Track your data

Take a cue from Gabriella and use a pen and paper to record your rejections. Writing them down by hand helps externalize the experience, turning an uncomfortable memory into banal data entry.

Reframe the outcome

Remember what Jia Jiang learned: the worst thing someone can say isn't "no." It's that you never even asked. When you stay silent, you reject yourself by default. Keep in mind that with every brave request, you open the door for the universe to say "yes."

The beautiful truth about "no"

We spend an obscene amount of time trying to be perfect and dodging the embarrassment of disapproval. But people like Gabriella Carr, Jia Jiang, and Jason Comely show us the vibrant, exhilarating world that awaits on the flip side of fear. Rejection is an inevitable part of being human, but there's no shame in asking.

Every "no" in Gabriella's notebook marks an act of courage—an opportunity to embrace possibility over comfort. Within those possible 1,000 rejections lie the "yeses" that will shape her life: the plays, the pageants, and the moments she would have missed if she'd chosen to stay silent.

Buy your red notebook. Approach a neighbor with the favor that's been on your mind. Apply for the job that seems out of your league. The worst outcome? "No." And as Gabriella has shown, hearing a "no" isn't the end of the world—it's proof that you were courageous enough to take the leap and try. Each attempt, no matter how disastrous, is a step forward. You're proving to yourself that you are willing to endure uncertainty to pursue what matters to you.

sleep, sleep tricks, sleeping techniques, science, scientific research, placebo effect, placebo

Tired man (left); energized man (right)

The benefits of getting a good night's sleep are too vast to name. Sleep is as essential for our brains as food and water are for our bodies. If you're not getting enough, sleeping better has been shown to elevate your mood, improve your memory, and even boost your physical health. And then there's the obvious: when you don't sleep well, you'll have less energy and generally perform worse on tasks that require any kind of effort or thought.

However, we're all human, and, sometimes, humans sleep terribly. Your infant might wake you up, or a car alarm might go off outside, interrupting your regularly-scheduled REM. It's not always our fault when we don't sleep well, but there might be an interesting way to fix it.


A study from 2014 may have demonstrated the existence of something called "placebo sleep," or tricking your brain into believing you slept better than you did.

sleep, sleep tricks, sleeping techniques, science, scientific research, placebo effect, placebo a man sitting at a desk with his head on his arms Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

The placebo effect, of course, has been studied relentlessly over the years and has shown that the human body can do amazing, almost impossible things, when the brain gets on board. The classic example is when symptoms of disease get measurably better after a patient takes a "fake" pill. Another study out of Harvard showed that people who were told their jobs qualified as exercise showed improved health and fitness markers compared to people who did the same job. Placebos even work when the person knows they're taking a placebo. It's called an "honest placebo" and is considered a legitimate, ethical treatment method for many ailments.

The researchers in 2014 wanted to find out if the placebo effect could also apply to sleep. So, they lectured a group of participants about the importance of REM sleep and how it can effect cognitive functioning. The participants were then split into two groups and monitored overnight while they slept. The next morning, one group was told they achieved 28.7% REM sleep, which is terrific, and the other group was told they only spent 16.2% of their sleep time in REM, which is below average. The numbers, however, were complete fiction.

Stunningly, the participants who believed they achieved top quality sleep performed better the next day on a series of arithmetic and word association tests compared to the other groups.

In their conclusion, the authors wrote, "These findings supported the hypothesis that mindset can influence cognitive states in both positive and negative directions, suggesting a means of controlling one's health and cognition."

According to Smithsonian Magazine, follow up experiments confirmed the findings.

The key to feeling great and performing as if you had a great night's sleep may lie in simply believing that you did.

There are a lot of ways to "placebo your sleep" in order to generate that belief. For starters, you can adopt a new routine or technique or even supplement in order to prime your brain.

John Cline Ph.D. asserts for Psychology Today that the popularity of sleeping aids like melatonin may be tied less to the fact that they work, and more to the fact that people believe they work. But you don't need to take any supplements or medications. Having a slow evening wind down with a book and an herbal tea, trying a new sleeping position, or practicing some measured breathing might work just as well. Or, rather, they might work precisely because you believe they will.

sleep, sleep tricks, sleeping techniques, science, scientific research, placebo effect, placebo Can a warm cup of tea help you sleep better? If you believe it, then yes. Photo by Dana Ciurumelea on Unsplash

You could take the concept a step further and alter your morning routine on nights you know for a fact you didn't sleep well. Perhaps it's by using a new coffee brand, doing some stretches before getting out of bed, or meditating before starting your day. Anything that you truly believe might help make you more alert and focused may just work.

One viral social media sleep trend capitalizes on this research perfectly. Researchers have shown that forcing your mouth into a smile has been shown to improve your mood. Turns out, similarly, you may be able to get sleepy by pretending to be super tired. Psychologist Erica Terblanche calls it the "alpha bridge," and it involves gently closing your eyes, fluttering them open just a tad, and then closing them again as you relax and breath. It simulates the feeling of "nodding off" and is said to create the alpha brainwaves that transition your brain from wakefulness to sleep. It's another clever way of tricking your own brain.


@erica.terblanche

Here's a skill to help you fall asleep on an airplane or anywhere else for that matter. . Its called going over the Alpha Bridge. #EricaTerblanche #ThriveGuru #motivation #sleeping

It sounds cheesy, but the power of mindset and positive thinking is truly tremendous. Our beliefs and thought patterns can greatly influence our body, our behavior, and our mood. Sometimes, our mindset can even be stronger than actual reality. Now we have the data to prove that it applies to our precious sleep, too.

Mental Health

Google productivity expert says 'fun homework' makes you happier. Here's why it actually works.

The simple trick Google productivity expert Laura Mae Martin swears by.

productivity, book, google, expert, homework
Photo credit: Canva, Laura Mae Miller

Laura Mae Miller is rewriting the book on productivity.

We all know the feeling: You walk through the front door after a long day, or slam your laptop shut, and the weight of the world slides off your shoulders. Your overworked brain, desperate to relax, entices you to collapse onto the couch and scroll through your phone until it's time to sleep.

But is this the best way to recharge? By doing nothing? Experts say no.


@xparmesanprincessx Spending this cozy Sunday planning my curriculum for 2026 📚✍️ I’m going to break my year up in to 4 semesters with different themes and focuses for each month and have more long term learning projects like relearning Spanish! #curriculum #learning #personalgrowth #personalcurriculum #books ♬ original sound - Elizabeth Jean

A fascinating practice on social media called the "personal curriculum" is trending. Championed by Google executive productivity advisor Laura Mae Martin, the concept is simple yet counterintuitive. The idea is to assign yourself "homework"—not to earn a degree, promotion, or extra cash, but for the pure joy of learning. TikTok user Elizabeth Jean also helped popularize the term "personal curriculum," and posts videos with tips on how to create your own.

Adding tasks to an overflowing to-do list might sound like a recipe for burnout, but Martin suggests that a structured, self-directed learning plan can boost energy, sharpen the mind, and restore a sense of identity.

The unexpected science of "fun homework"

It's easy to compare our brains to batteries that drain during the day and require total rest to recharge. But cognitive science shows that our minds are more like muscles. To stay healthy, we need new and interesting activities that challenge us.

When we engage in what researchers call "cognitively stimulating activities," the physical structure of our brains changes. A 2017 report from the Global Council on Brain Health highlighted that keeping the mind active is essential for maintaining brain health as we age. Creative activities like painting, photography, or writing can reduce cortisol levels, lowering stress hormones and creating an emotional regulation loop that leaves you feeling refreshed and ready for the next day.

A systematic review in BMJ Open found a clear link between lifelong learning and a lowered risk of dementia. Researchers explained that challenging the brain with new information builds cognitive reserve, a.k.a. its ability to adapt and remain resistant to damage.

Think of it as investing in your mental future. Each time you tackle a new language lesson or deep-dive into Renaissance art history, you're strengthening your brain in ways that can last a lifetime.

Redefining what it means to be productive

The word "productivity" can carry heavy connotations. It suggests endless checklists, exhausting efficiency hacks, and squeezing every drop of output from our waking hours. Laura Mae Martin offers a refreshing alternative, defining productivity in simple terms: "Productivity is accomplishing what you intend to do, when you intend to do it."

This meaning allows us to reclaim our time. It shifts our mindsets from external validation to internal satisfaction.


How to build your syllabus

Let's put this in practical terms. How do you bring these "nice ideas" into the real world? By creating a "personal curriculum" and treating it with the same respect you would have for a college course. Humans respond well to structure and deadlines. Here's how to create a syllabus that sticks:

  1. Follow the spark: Genuine curiosity must drive your personal curriculum. If you hated calculus in high school, don't pick it up again for arbitrary reasons, like trying to feel smart. Look for subjects that make you lose track of time. Identifying every tree in your neighborhood could be one, or mastering the perfect sourdough loaf.
  2. Diversify your materials: Learning exists everywhere, not solely in dense textbooks. Keep required texts engaging and fun, mixing in podcasts, workshops, flashcards, and documentaries. If you are learning a new language, listen to an album in that language. If you're studying paleontology, visit a local natural history museum.
  3. Set the scene: Get yourself in the zone with a little learning mise en place. Find a specific chair and reserve it for reading, or flipping through flashcards. Make a study playlist and fill it with songs to play in the background. When you sit in that chair, or hit play, you are signaling to your brain that it's time to switch into "student" mode.

The 20–30 minute rule

Don't spend all your free time on this. Overload is the greatest pitfall with personal curriculums. We get excited, plan to study every night for two hours straight, then find ourselves exhausted and discouraged.

Sustainability lies in the "Goldilocks" rule for time commitment: keep sessions between 20 and 30 minutes.

Simple 20–30 minute blocks fit into even the busiest schedules yet, they're long enough to achieve a flow state.. Slot one in after dinner or while drinking your morning coffee.

Valerie Craddock, a content creator, shared her November curriculum on TikTok, embracing this method. It included gentle, actionable goals: walk 8,000 steps, practice penmanship three times a week, work out for 30 minutes. By keeping her curriculum low stakes, Craddock set herself up for a winning streak instead of a guilt trip.

Make room for what matters

How do you protect this newfound time? Martin suggests a simple but effective tactic: integrating your personal calendar with your work one.

This gives you a complete view of the week. You might see Tuesday packed with meetings, so you'll make a mental note to keep that evening free. Thursday looks much lighter, offering the perfect window to pencil in that 30-minute creative writing session.

productivity, book, google, expert, homework Woman working, productively.Photo credit: Canva

An approach like this helps you honor the natural ebb and flow of energy, and prevents you from overcommitting on days when you're already drained. When you schedule "fun homework" with the same seriousness as an All-Hands meeting, you're sending yourself a powerful message: personal growth is as important as obligations.

Redefining "you"

One of the most rewarding aspects of the personal curriculum is its ability to reshape our sense of self. In a society obsessed with asking, "What do you do for work?" discovering an answer that's not attached to a paycheck can feel freeing.

When you learn, you transcend the role of parent, employee, or partner—you become a historian, linguist, painter, or botanist.

Buy the notebook, write a syllabus, and enjoy becoming a beginner again. You might discover that a little homework can unlock the key to reconnecting with yourself.

parenting, parenting advice, boomer parents, baby boomer parents, millennial parents, millennial parenting

A man holds a baby as a woman looks on.

There are seemingly endless generational differences in parenting between Millennials and their Baby Boomer parents. As grandparents, many Boomers have been described by Millennials as absent. They've also been labeled with "gramnesia," a blend of "grandparent" and "amnesia," referring to how many seem to forget what raising kids was really like.

One Millennial mom shared a similar take on Reddit, explaining that her Boomer parents made it seem like raising babies was far less taxing for them than it is for modern-day parents.


She wrote, "Everyone I've talked to, their parents make it seem like 'back in the day' all babies just slept. They put them in their cribs and they napped and slept and had no problems and it was just rainbows and sunshine. No contact naps, no sleep training etc. Are they misremembering? Was it just easier??"

Fellow Millennial parents offered experiences and insight with their Boomer parents that felt validating.

millennial mom, millennial parents, raising babies, baby, boomer parents An exhausted mom and her baby.Photo credit: Canva

Millennials share receipts on Boomer parenting

Many Millennials agree that the Boomer perspective on raising kids is skewed:

"I know one boomer who put earplugs in and ignored her baby all night. She'll tell you baby slept through the night. The grandma who lived in the house with them and actually got up for the crying baby might tell you a different story." - TraditionalManager82

"My mom was like 'I thought you were sleeping through the night but your 13 year old brother was actually getting up to take care of you'." - Stepharoni523

"My mom gave us dimetapp 🤣 can't imagine doing that to my kid." - ChoptankSweets

"My boomer mom told me she would put me down for a nap and go for a walk around the neighborhood while I cried." - AppropriateAmoeba406

@johnnyhilbrant

Your boomer parent comments on your parenting… #boomer #parenting #millennial #fyp

"Yep, my boomer MIL visited when my eldest was a week old. Baby started crying because it was time to eat. As I tended to her, my MIL told me to just put her in her crib, close the door to the nursery, and go do something for myself out of the house. Like get my nails done, go have coffee, etc. She said that's what she did with all of her kids. 'They're in the crib, so they can't get hurt' was her reasoning. She also felt I was 'spoiling' my 6 pound baby by feeding her when she was hungry. I was HORRIFIED and never left her alone with my babies no matter how much she offered." - littlebittydoodle

"They weren't held to even half the standards parents today are held to. It was easier because many of them were terrible parents, and that was just fine." - allie06nd

"Even 'good parents' following the recommended guidelines of the time would generally be considered sub-par by today's standards. I also think there is so much more information and awareness of the importance of early childhood development today. This has led to added stress and pressure on today's parents to influence development as positively as possible. And parents feel responsible for any setbacks, real or perceived." - heycarlgoodtoseeyou

Some Millennials defend Boomers

Not everyone agreed that Boomer parents simply had it easier, and they explained why:

millennials, millennial parents, millennial parenting, modern parenting, tired mom A mom yawns while feeding her baby.Photo credit: Canva

"I think there is some truth to the idea that babies generally slept better. The advice then was to lay babies down on their bellies, and many babies do sleep better that way. But of course, it's also more dangerous and not worth the risk, so the advice now is to sleep safely on their backs. But for all of the babies who were luckily able to sleep safely that way, there's a good chance that the parents slept better too." - mdb_la

"Yeah, it's an evolutionary thing. We forget how horrible it was otherwise no one would ever have a second child." - tonyrocks922

"My mom just doesn't remember a lot of the details. I think that goes to show that it really does go quickly and is a faint memory one day. My mom is always saying 'I honestly don't remember this with you girls, so it must not have been that bad!' 🤪 I have a 4 year age gap and I even forgot about the newborn stage. It's just a blur now. I also think no social media/internet at their fingertips back then is also a huge part. Parents just…parented and didn't have constant communication with the 'outside world'." - SaveBandit_02

"I asked my granny how she raised four kids because I struggle with just two of them. She said she thinks I put more into it than she did. So I'm guessing they didn't worry themselves over a lot of the details millennials do. Knowing that I'm making life harder on myself than past generations did doesn't change my behavior, but I do feel more capable and calm and less wrecked when I remind myself that I am choosing to be a highly involved and engaged parent, it's not a requirement, and I am giving them everything I've got of my own free will." - dammitjenna