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How do we coax millions of Americans away from the edge of election conspiracy insanity?

How do we coax millions of Americans away from the edge of election conspiracy insanity?

If the past four years has taught us anything, it's that when you think things can't really get any nuttier, they totally can and will.

Case in point: Lin Wood's latest tweets.

Lin Wood is a lawyer who has filed or joined multiple lawsuits on behalf of President Trump in an attempt to overturn the 2020 presidential election. Wood has been an outspoken supporter of Trump and a forceful pusher of conspiracy theories—not only about the election, but about...well, just take a look.

Wood already made headlines a few days ago for suggesting Mike Pence should be executed by firing squad. Late last night, in a series of tweets, Wood lays out absolutely bonkers allegations against Chief Justice John Roberts and the world's "most well-known & 'elite' intelligence agencies."


I'm not fond of amplifying these kinds of batsh*t crazy rants, but considering how intertwined this individual is with the current legal actions of the president of the United States, and considering the fact that President Trump has retweeted this man's tweets just within the past month, it's important to understand the level of unreality that a significant portion of Americans are living in—or at least tacitly accepting.

In a series of tweets, Wood wrote:

"I believe Chief Justice John Roberts & a multitude of powerful individuals worldwide are being blackmailed in a horrendous scheme involving rape & murder of children captured on videotape.

I have the key to the files containing the videos. I have also shared this information.

This blackmail scheme is conducted by members of 10 of world's most well-known & "elite" intelligence agencies. One of those groups was hacked by a group known as Lizard Squad.

The blackmail files of rape & murder were obtained by this group & copy was provided to Isaac Kappy.

The blackmail targets are approached with a gun, a child, & a camera. The target is ordered to rape the child on video. The target is then ordered to shoot the child on video. The target is then owned & controlled by the blackmailers until blackmail evidence loses its value.

After Kappy received the hacked files from member of Lizard Squad, he gave files to one friend and the encryption key to another friend. He provided this information to his friends shortly before he was murdered in May 13, 2019. Members of Lizard Squad were jailed for hacking.

Jeffrey Epstein used this same blackmail scheme of child rape & child murder to either further his own interests or those of any intelligence agency with whom he worked. ALL who flew on his private jet or visited his island must be IMMEDIATELY interrogated & brought to justice.

I decided to post this truth on Twitter & Parler as wall exists around @realDonaldTrump that may have prevented me from getting this evidence to him. Kappy tried to deliver info to President but was then murdered. I do not know who Kappy gave it to for delivery to the President.

I have concerns that information from Kappy was not delivered to @realDonaldTrump & his effort to get it to President may have caused his death. I am aware that my life is now at great risk. But I put my faith in God. I prayed before I made the decision. I had to reveal TRUTH."

Let's pause for a moment here.

First of all, how is this even a thing that he believes? Someone just walks up with a gun and a child and a camera? What? Most of us who actually are not pedophiles would rather die than rape a child. And if someone handed us a gun to shoot a child, most of us would shoot the person trying to blackmail us instead. On a basic level, this is just dumb.

Second of all, every conspiracy theory sucks people in with grains of truth, so let's briefly get those out of the way. Lizard Squad might sound like a made-up thing, but it was actually a real hacking group that successfully disrupted XBox and PlayStation systems in addition to committing other hacking crimes. A bunch of members were arrested in 2014—but their arrest had nothing to do with intelligence agencies.

Former Lizard Squad member Vinnie Omari, when asked about Wood's tweets, told the Daily Dot, "That sounds fucking insane, bro. I'm not going to lie to you. That sounds like the type of stuff that I usually laugh at people for bringing up in conversations."

Omari said he'd never heard of Wood or Kappy and that the group never hacked any government entities or agencies. "We never hacked anything in regards to any of these billionaires like Jeffrey Epstein or any government officials," he said.

That won't convince the conspiracy theorists, of course. (We'll get to that in a minute.) At this point, you may be wondering who the heck Isaac Kappy is. Kappy was an actor and musician who tragically died by suicide by jumping off a bridge onto a freeway in Arizona in 2019. He left lengthy messages on social media before his death, expressing remorse for who he had been, stating that he had spent thousands of hours diving into QAnon conspiracies, talking about how he's abused himself with drugs and alcohol, and apologizing to people he'd hurt.

But instead of his death being a cautionary tale, QAnoners like Wood claim that Kappy didn't die by suicide but was murdered because this obscure actor had the elusive evidence proving all of the cabal nonsense that he was trying to get to the president. As if that makes sense.

Moving on. Wood continued on Twitter.

"I would never make an accusation without having reliable source for it. Stakes are too high. So I did due diligence to validate the accuracy of the shocking information I am revealing tonight. I am entirely comfortable that you are learning the truth. A truth that explains much.

I have no idea extent of blackmail scheme of raping & killing children but given the number of agencies involved, the hundreds of thousands of missing children, & the otherwise inexplicable actions of many powerful officials, celebrities, & business leaders, I fear the worst.

The number of missing children worldwide & in United States is staggering.

So I have now conveyed the truth as I know it. There has been a rising chorus of people questioning my sanity in recent days. Now you can understand why. I have no idea what will be done to me or said about me in coming days, but I will rest well tonight for having spoken truth.

Many issues in our world may be tied to blackmail scheme I described tonight, including bizarre behavior of officials & judges in recent election. @realDonaldTrump must appoint special prosecutor to thoroughly investigate. We need answers. We must investigate. For the children."

Ah yes. For the children. I've written about how the QAnon child trafficking conspiracy theories are doing real harm to actual anti-trafficking organizations that work to protect vulnerable missing children. QAnon is not in the business of saving children from anything.

Oh, and there's also this:

To be perfectly clear, this is insane. That should be totally obvious, but at this point, even obvious truths need to be stated clearly, unequivocally, and constantly. This man has a million followers on Twitter and has been retweeted by the president, who is a known peddler of conspiracy theorists himself. We also now have QAnon adherents in Congress, so this stuff can't be ignored. As NBC reports, nearly all of Trump's election fraud allegations come from the QAnon world, and he has hoards of MAGA followers who have bought it all hook, line, and sinker. At this point, no one can be all in for Trump and not, by extension, support these crazy conspiracy theories. They are all inextricably linked.

So how did we even get here? And more importantly, how do we get out?

It was predictable, to be honest. During the 2016 election, there were an alarming number of comments that referred to Hillary Clinton being part of an evil global cabal of pedophiles who operate in secret and communicate in code via email. The rumors included various details about Satanic rituals (which involved bizzaro accusations of harvesting something called adrenochrome from children), Obama ordering 65,000 hot dogs (which was supposedly code for little boys), and child trafficking taking place in the basement of a popular D.C. pizza parlor (which doesn't even have a basement). Even though none of it made the least bit of logical sense and most of us just rolled our eyes at it all, a shocking number of people truly believed it—and still do.

I assumed at the time that it was just a dumb disinformation campaign to hurt Clinton's chances of winning the election (which it was) and that it would die out after the election (which it didn't). I think most reasonable people believed the same thing, which was a mistake. For four years, we've watched these conspiracy theories grow and spread. For four years, I've personally seen more and more people get sucked into the unreality the person/people behind QAnon created. For four years, people have continued to claim that well-known politicians and A-list celebrities are about to be arrested, that they're all going down soon, that Donald Trump is the great savior who will finally blow the lid off of this vast conspiracy and save the world from the machinations of the evil elite. For four years, the big reveal has always been just around the corner. Just wait. (That's literally the entire premise of QAnon. Just wait. Just wait. Just wait. It's coming. It's coming. It's coming.)

The quackiness was never going to just fade away. The fringe element just kept growing and spilling into right-wing media. And like a snowball that gathers size, speed, and strength as it tumbles down a mountain, the quackiness was becoming more and more dangerous.

When a guy took his AR-15 to Comet Ping Pong Pizza to save the children from the clutches of Clinton and her cabal of child traffickers and found nothing, that should have been the end of it. When the D.C. police called Pizzagate "a fictitious online conspiracy theory," that should have been the end of it. But it wasn't. Because that's not how these things work.

There's a reason conspiracy theories are called rabbit holes. Once you start detaching from reality, it's really hard to come back. Real news is fake news. Fact-checkers can't be trusted. Every reasonable explanation gets rejected. Anyone who denies the unreality is in on the conspiracy. From an objective outside stance, none of it makes sense, but within that world, it all makes perfect sense. Just wait, you'll see.

From a psychological point of view, the draw is pretty simple. It's a connect-the-dots mystery with the added thrill of a gambling addiction—this time, it's really gonna happen. It's a thrilling chase with the carrot of Trump saving the world from the evil elites always dangling just out of reach as you chase it. It has everything we've become accustomed to in our favorite movie plots—intrigue and deception, bad guys you'd never suspect, and an unlikely hero who we just know is going to swoop in at the finale to bring it all down. Just you wait.

The problem is that we're not living in a movie. This is real life, and our country is being damaged in real ways by having too many of its citizens swept up in an alternate reality, which isn't reality at all.

The dilemma we face now is what to do about it. This stuff isn't going to go away just because Biden gets inaugurated on January 20th, and it's destructive to the fabric of society no matter who is in charge. For goodness sake, I've had people accuse me of being a pedophile because I wrote about how child sex trafficking organizations want people to stop sharing QAnon conspiracy theories. That doesn't make sense, of course—but how am I supposed to sit down and have a reasonable conversation with someone who believes that? We can have disagreements about government and policy and social issues, and we can debate those things passionately even. But we have to exist in the same objective reality in order to have that reasonable exchange of ideas.

I'm not sure how we get there, but I have a few ideas. We need to have psychologists along with political pundits weighing in on the daily news shows. We need to see the opinions of cult deprogramming experts in addition to legal analysts as we talk about what happens from here. We need to be talking about how to convince millions of our fellow Americans to step back from the edge of the rabbit hole and how to extricate them from it once they've fallen down it.

The issues are important, but we can't have the important conversations we need to have about the issues without a basic shared reality, and right now, we're so not there.

Planet

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Our favorite giveaway is back. Enter to win a free, fun date! 🌊 💗
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Our love for the ocean runs deep. Does yours? Enter here!

This Valentine’s Day, we're bringing back our favorite giveaway with Ocean Wise. You have the chance to win the ultimate ocean-friendly date. Our recommendation? Celebrate love for all your people this Valentine's Day! Treat your mom friends to a relaxing spa trip, take your best friend to an incredible concert, or enjoy a beach adventure with your sibling! Whether you're savoring a romantic seafood dinner or enjoying a movie night in, your next date could be on us!

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Here are the incredible dates:

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Special thanks to our friends at All In who are all in on helping moms!

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Grab your favorite person and get some much-needed ocean time. Did you know research on “blue spaces” suggests that being near water is linked with better mental health and well-being, including feeling calmer and less stressed? We’ll treat you to a beach adventure like a surfing or sailing class, plus ocean-friendly bags from GOT Bag and blankets from Sand Cloud so your day by the water feels good for you and a little gentler on the ocean too.

Special thanks to our friends at GOT Bag. They make saving the ocean look stylish and fun!

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Love nights in as much as you love a date night out? We’ve got you. Have friends over for a movie night or make it a cozy night in with your favorite person. You’ll get a Disney+ and Hulu subscription so you can watch Nat Geo ocean content, plus a curated list of ocean-friendly documentaries and a movie-night basket of snacks. Easy, comfy, and you’ll probably come out of it loving the ocean even more.

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Date includes two (2) three-day GA tickets. Does not include accommodation, travel, or flights.

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Stay in and cook something delicious with someone you love. We’ll hook you up with sustainable seafood ingredients and some additional goodies for a dinner for two, so you can eat well and feel good knowing your meal supports healthier oceans and more responsible fishing.

Giveaway ends 2/15/26 at 11:59pm PT. Winners will be selected at random and contacted via email from the Upworthy. No purchase necessary. Open to residents of the U.S. and specific Canadian provinces that have reached age of majority in their state/province/territory of residence at the time. Please see terms and conditions for specific instructions. Giveaway not affiliated with Instagram. More details at upworthy.com/oceandate

quiet, finger over lips, don't talk, keep it to yourself, silence

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.


argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

  • What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
  • What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
  • Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
  • How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

decluttering, making decluttering fun, decluttering ideas, items to donate, goodwill, how to declutter, decluttering tips

Left: A woman holding her finger up to convey a secret. Right: A hand placing an antique item on a window ledge.

For many of us, decluttering is a necessary evil. We take no joy in it, other than knowing our lives might run a little more smoothly afterward. It's sort of like going to the dentist or getting an oil change.

But like so many of life's mundanities, could decluttering become something we actually look forward to if we found a way to infuse a little playfulness?


For Stephanie Patrick, that meant secretly leaving random items at other people's houses.

In a mega-viral Instagram clip, Patrick is seen placing a tiny bar of soap, a small creamer pitcher, and a vintage glass tealight candle holder on different countertops, accompanied by the caption, "Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do."

The video has been viewed more than 25 million times, with thousands of people praising Patrick for her "diabolical" yet "genius" idea. Here are just a few of the reactions:

"A clever menace. I love it."

"This is amazing. They are going to go crazy asking each other 'where did this come from? Do you know where this came from?'"

"I have never felt so inspired in my whole entire life."

"UNHEIST"

"Reverse burglary"

This isn't Patrick's first, ahem, unconventional decluttering idea. In another video, we see her placing random items—a picture frame, a mini sewing kit, a sequined heart pillow, and yet another tealight candle holder—along the aisles of Hobby Lobby. Retail sticker and everything.

"I'm sure they will sell eventually," she wrote.

While leaving items for retail workers to deal with isn't the best option, Patrick clarified in the comments that she only "pretended" to leave the items behind. Still, there's something to be said for gamifying decluttering so the process itself becomes a bit more enjoyable.

Here are a few ideas procured from around the web:

Creative ways to make decluttering fun

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Hanger reversal

Turn all your hangers the wrong way. When you wear an item, flip the hanger back. After six months, donate anything that's still reversed.

The "no-thing" prize

Reward yourself with an experience, like a movie or dessert, rather than more items.

Take the 12-12-12 challenge

Locate 12 items to throw away, 12 to donate, and 12 to return to their proper homes. You can customize the challenge however you see fit.

Take before-and-after photos of a small area

Choose one part of your home, like a kitchen counter, and take a photo of a small area. Quickly clear away the items in the photo, then take an after shot. Once you see how your home could look, it becomes easier to start decluttering other areas.

Play the "minimalism game"

Created by Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus ("The Minimalists"), this game has you determine how many items you'll declutter based on the day of the week, such as 20 items on the 20th. You can find a free printable by clicking here.

Decluttering jar

A "declutter jar" contains color-coded sticks for each area of the house. The kitchen might be marked blue, with each blue stick representing a specific area, such as the pantry, under the sink, the junk drawer, or the cup shelf. Whatever stick you draw is the area you declutter. No decision-making necessary.

The "moving method"

Pretend you're moving into a smaller, but swankier, home and only keep what you absolutely love or need. Tap into your imagination while making room for real life. A win-win.

Lastly, never underestimate the power of simply throwing on a bangin' decluttering playlist. Whatever route gets you there is the route worth taking. Of course, if you follow in Patrick's footsteps, you might have some explaining to do to your friends.

arthur c. brooks, harvard, psychology, happiness research, bucket list

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.


bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

This article originally appeared last year.

Culture

Woman creates 1940s-inspired home to pay off her mortgage in just 8 years

She shared 10 frugal living tips to help transform people's budgets.

1940s, mortgage, vintage house, 1940s house, frugality
Photo credit: Canva, Karola G from Pexels (left) / Doina Gherban's Images (right)

Left: A woman holding money. Right: A toy house in a person's hand.

Anyone who can pay off their mortgage early should be applauded and probably grilled with questions about how they pulled off that minor miracle. Hannah, a content creator from Nottingham, England, made it happen partly by taking inspiration from the 1940s, both in and out of the two-bedroom home she shares with her mother. She documented her approach in an intriguing YouTube video titled "10 Frugal Living Tips from the 1940s That Still Work Today."

Hannah opens the clip with some backstory. She grew up in a one-income household, learning fiscal responsibility from her mother, and together they worked hard to pay off the mortgage on their current home in eight years.


"For as long as I can remember, we've lived in a certain way to get by," she says. "But as I've gotten older and become interested in history, I've discovered another incredible teacher: our ancestors."

Learning from the past also aligned with her love of retro aesthetics, and she's documented both on her social media channels under the name Real Vintage Dolls House.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Making what you have last

Not all of her frugality tips will work for everyone, since no two situations are identical. For example, she doesn't have children. Still, her advice covers a wide range, from escaping a more-is-more mindset to scaling back food costs. Several points fall into the latter category, including the importance of cooking from scratch.

"In the '40s, people were forced to make rationed food go further," she says. "Nowadays, eating out and takeaways are just so expensive, so this quickly became a very occasional treat for us, not a weekly staple."

She keeps a "modest" pantry of ingredients, like potatoes, that can be stretched to make them last. In addition, she mainly drinks tap water, coffee, and tea, and grows her own fruits and vegetables in the garden.

Several tips focus on doing more around the house, such as using "useful and cheap beauty hacks" like homemade soap, working out at home instead of paying for an expensive gym membership, and cutting heating bills by staying warm with clothes and blankets. That also ties into a broader point about "secondhand living." Hannah says that "almost everything" in her house was purchased secondhand or handed down, including her refrigerator.

"Of course, buying secondhand does limit your choices, but I actually like that because it lessens my decision fatigue," she says. "And if something isn't quite right, I can use my agency and skills to repair it or amend it. And if I don't have these skills then I can learn them, often for free. In the '40s, they called this 'make do and mend.' [By maintaining old items] you're freeing yourself from the upgrade loop."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Experiences over stuff

Elsewhere, Hannah recommends walking as much as possible to save on gas money and maintaining a "capsule clothing plan," in which you carefully curate a small closet of versatile items with a long shelf life. Finally, she stresses the importance of experiences over things: "If there's one thing that the 1940s has taught me, it's the simple ways that people spent their time to still find enjoyment and pleasure. Picnics, walks, a cup of tea at a cafe: all experience-driven, rather than wallet-driven."

Hannah spoke about her home (and her love of the 1940s) with The Daily Mail in 2021:

"The house is kind of like an ode to my grandpa, who was born in 1936. He was a significant part of my life and really got me interested in the 40s era as a kid—I was enamored by his droplets of wisdom. My nan's taste in vintage and eccentric fashion has also inspired me to dress quirky."

Given the financial hardships they endured, people from the Greatest Generation and Silent Generation may have valuable frugality advice to offer. People on Reddit recently shared tips they learned firsthand from older family members, ranging from hang-drying clothes to driving in ways that reduce wear and tear on their cars.

"My grandma rinsed and reused foil until it crumbled," one user wrote. "I rolled my eyes then, now I catch myself doing it. Funny how those 'silly' habits end up smart."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

influencer, selfoe, content creator, influencer in publish, filiming self

An influencer filming himself in public.

To be human is to navigate a complex world of pretense and subterfuge. You gotta fake it 'til you make it. You have to look the part and play the role. You tell white lies to help others save face and to adhere to rigid cultural norms that are too ingrained to bother challenging.

That's not to say it's all bad. Culture is always evolving, and some behaviors and attitudes that are completely "normal" in one period are seen as completely backward just a few years later. Just 40 years ago, corporal punishment of children was normal, mental health issues were seen as personal weakness, and sexual harassment in the workplace was rampant.


Things do get better, but first we have to point them out. Recently, a Redditor asked, "What's a social norm that you think is absolutely ridiculous?" to highlight today's cultural norms that people find absurd. Many commenters pointed out the excuses and white lies we tell in our social lives to avoid making our friends (and ourselves) uncomfortable. Others called out rigid gender roles we take for granted but deserve questioning.

Here are 15 social norms that people find "absolutely ridiculous"

1. The expectation that women have to wear makeup

"The expectation that women must wear makeup to look professional. A clean, washed face should be professional enough for any job i think."

"And being asked if you are sick or tired just because you aren't wearing a full face of makeup."

makeup, foundation, woman's face, strawberry blonde, woman in mirror A woman putting on makeup.via Canva/Photos

2. Faking workplace passion

"Pretending to be passionate about jobs in interviews when everyone knows it's just to pay bills."

"I applied to McDonald's in college and they asked me why I wanted the job. I said, very calmly, 'I need money and you need people, I don't understand the question.' Recruiter almost fell under the table laughing, I don't think he expected a blunt answer like that."

3. Having to justify turning down an invite

"People often feel they can't just decline an invitation or request with a simple I can't make it or 'that doesn't work for me instead there's this pressure to provide a detailed justification or excuse that proves you have a 'legitimate' reason. And if your reason is just 'I don't want to' or I need time to myself that's often not considered acceptable."

"'Don't make excuses. Your friends don't need them, and your enemies won't believe them,' — unknown."

4. Why we can't judge the dead

"Acting like someone was wonderful just because they're dead. There are absolutely some people that get and deserve a good riddance."

"It really rubs me the wrong way when a person who did or said terrible things died and suddenly all is forgot and they're a hero."

5. Influencers creating in public

"Turning public spaces into personal film studios for content creation and then getting mad when the public does public things and interrupts said content creation."

"This is not a norm. It's rude and should be treated as such. We were at the Louvre last year, and some influencer was trying to get people to move away from 'Liberty Leading the People' so she could film herself contemplating it. Lady, it's the size of a pickleball court. No one gets that much space to themselves there. She was so angry that other people kept looking at the art."

influencer, selfoe, content creator, influencer in publish, filiming self An influencer filming himself.via Canva/Photos

6. Why we always have to be reachable

"Probably the whole 'always be reachable' thing. Like, if you don't reply to a message within 10 minutes, people assume something's wrong, or you're mad. Sometimes I'm just eating or staring at a wall, man. I think phones have blurred the line between urgent and not urgent, and now everyone feels low-key on call all the time. Would be nice if slower replies were normal again."

7. Oversharing on social media

"Everyone posting every aspect of their lives on social media for all to see."

"We should all know less about each other."

Why do some people overshare? In a 2022 study, researchers identified three main reasons. First, people tend to overvalue the positives and undervalue the risks when posting online. They overestimate the benefits and underestimate the downsides of oversharing. Second, oversharing has been linked to anxiety, with some people posting as a way to cope with difficult feelings. Finally, because people often feel relatively anonymous online, even when their name and face are attached to a post, they may feel freer to overshare.

selfie, social media, girl taking photo, filming yourself, smiling girl A woman taking a photo of herself in her bedroom. via Canva/Photos

8. Elbows on the table being considered rude

"That was a social rule from the medieval age - tavern 'tables' were planks of wood laid on top of stumps. If someone put their elbows on that plank, the whole table would see-saw and chuck everyone's refreshments across the room."

"I was taught that it's because it seems like you're guarding your food, like an animal."

It's believed that the "elbows on the table" rule dates back to the Middle Ages, when feasts and festivals were jam-packed affairs and people were crammed around tables. Placing your elbows on the table, like spreading your legs on the subway, meant your neighbor had less room. You might even knock an elbow into their blackbird pie.

9. The need to be intoxicated

"The need to have alcohol at social events otherwise they are not fun or worth it to go to. Peer pressuring folks for not wanting to drink and making them out to seem boring or unfun. Having drug usage/alcohol as a personality trait."

"I tell people I'm straight edge, and they look at me like I'm some kind of monster. I once got told, to my face, someone who has never drank or smoked or done a drug is not a trustworthy person."

drunk guy, intoxicated guy, santa hat, brief case,beer A drunk guy passed out.via Canva/Photos

10. Period shame

"Acting like periods are something to be ashamed of. Never understood as a teenager why people would smuggle their pads into the toilet or whisper about their period or peel back the wrappers really quietly so no one else could hear it. It's completely natural and nothing to be ashamed of. I make an effort as an adult to openly carry pads and talk about it openly. We need to stop acting like it's a big taboo!"

11. Taking the man's last name

"Women and children taking the man's last name by default."

"I think you should have to smoosh the names together to make a new surname, and if you get remarried, you keep smooshing names."

12. Men have to propose

"Believing the male partner in a straight relationship must be the one to propose marriage."

"Or believing that a proposal has to be a grand gesture. My husband proposed to me on his front porch with, 'Hey, you don't happen to want to marry me or anything, do you?' Was it romantic? No. But he did manage to get the point across. This summer we'll be married 38 years."

13. Wearing a tie

“'Humans are the only species that start the day with a noose around their necks,' Source : unknown."

"I still wish we adopted the double necktie as seen in Back to the Future Part II in the far distant future of 2015."

tie, putting on a tie, tying a tie, pink shirt, dress up A man adjusting his tie.via Canva/Photos

14. Smartphones being everywhere

"I've seeing a lot of waiting rooms lately, and I'm trying to just sit there without looking at my phone, and I'm realizing how captivating it is. Everyone is plugged in."

"I agree it's great. As an introvert, to look up and realise NO ONE IS LOOKING AT YOU is like being king of that little space."

15. Saying you're "fine" when you're not

"Being expected to say 'fine' when someone asks how you are, no matter how not fine you feel. Also apologizing when someone else bumps into you, and pretending emails need fake pleasantries instead of just getting to the point."

"Some days when life isn't fine, and someone asks me how life's going, I tell them it's certainly going, they should get the message at that point."