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15 women reveal the 'underrated' reasons why they left their significant others

Modern society has created new reasons for people to break up.

Why are women breaking up with men these days?

When people are ready to leave a relationship, many feel pressure to have a compelling reason. There are reasons that no one will disagree with, such as a partner's abuse, infidelity, or trouble getting along with family.

But what if you just aren’t feeling the relationship anymore, or don’t think they appreciate all you have to offer? Those can be perfectly fine reasons, too. It's totally fine to break up with someone over reasons that some may find trivial.

It’s your life; you can’t live it with your chosen people.

A Reddit user named Grand_Gate_8836 asked the AskWomen forum, “What is a very underrated reason for breaking up with your significant other?” and many women shared that they broke up with their partners because they just weren’t feeling the relationship. Others brought up reasons that people may not have had in the past, such as pornography addiction, immaturity and spending too much time playing video games.



On a deeper level, the discussion made many women who feel insecure about their reasons for leaving someone feel a lot better about following their hearts.

Here are 15 of the best “underrated” reasons for breaking up with one’s significant other.

1. Mental health

"I think bad mental health can be a big reason for splitting from someone. Nobody tells you how lonely it can get to be with someone who has mental health issues. It can take years for you to understand them and then eventually realize that you can’t help them until they choose to help themselves. This is due to severe unawareness around mental health issues I feel." — Grand_Gate8836

2. They don't find you attractive

"At the risk of sounding petty: they don't 100% love the way you look, even if they try to spin it in a positive way. I mean statements like 'she's not beautiful but I love her personality and sense of humor"'or 'she's a 5 on a good day but I guess so am I' or 'she's not what I'd consider my type but there's something about her.' I appreciate honesty as much as one can, but in my opinion, this is just depressing. Beauty comes in so many different shapes and forms. How can someone not find it in a person they claim to love? To me it basically means your SO is settling for you and will be forever comparing you to some kind of ideal you don't match." — JankyRobot42069

3. Not the outdoorsy-type

"I broke up with someone who had very conflicting interests and hobbies to mine and assumed I would just be on board with taking them up with him. I like the outdoors. I do not like devoting every weekend to hiking." — Justwannaread3

"Imo, this is so underrated. 'I enjoy X, but I do not enjoy devoting all of my free time to X.' is absolutely valid in and of itself. And leaving someone who doesn't grasp that is so much better for mental health in the long run." — DragonFlySunrise

4. Different goals

"You know, one thing that doesn't get talked about enough is having different life goals and values as a reason to break up with someone. It's not just about whether you both like the same movies or enjoy the same hobbies. It's about where you see yourself going in life and what you believe in. Imagine you're super into traveling the world and experiencing new cultures, but your partner is more about settling down in one place and building a stable career. It might not seem like a big deal at first, but over time, those differences can really start to wear on the relationship. You might find yourself feeling like you're not on the same page about the important stuff, like where you want to live or what you want to prioritize in life. So yeah, having different life goals and values might not be the most obvious reason to break up, but it can definitely be a deal-breaker if you're not aligned in those areas." — Good1Mufferaw

"It never ceases to amaze me that people ignore compatibility issues. It's the most important feature in a relationship. And marriages that continue regardless of how whack the lack of compatibility is." — Savagefluerelis23

5. You're not happy

"They're just not making you happy. You're just not happy with them, and you deep down feel you could be happier elsewhere either alone or with someone else. They're a good, kind person, a responsible adult, etc, but they're not "it" for you. This is often considered a trivial reason to end a relationship or marriage but it's such a BIG DEAL. You should want to be happy and should want them to be happy too! You know when you're not happy. This idea that you should only leave a partnership or friendship because of something deemed "more serious" doesn't feel right to me. One of the hardest things is walking away from someone who is not abusing you, is really good on paper but it just NOT doing it for you because society will always shame people and especially women for leaving because of unhappiness. That inkling feeling underneath of 'they might not be it for me,' we are taught to just not listen to ourselves." — The_Philosophied

6. Bros came first

"He prioritized his friends over me. I think prioritizing friends and family are important, but it got to a point where I was miserable. We were both mid-thirties, and he wanted to go to parties and bars all the time to see his friends. We never had quality time together. It reached its breaking point when my aunt suffered cardiac arrest and was airlifted from 700km away to the hospital in my city. Instead of coming to the hospital with me, or even emotionally supporting me when I went to be with her, he went to the bar and got drunk. I didn't even get a text or call for 24 hrs he just disappeared. When I got upset, he said, 'Seeing Dave is more important, he's my friend' I broke up with him the next day. My aunt died a few hours later." — MeatCat88

7. Pornography

"Porn addiction. Society has brainwashed people into thinking this is normal behavior." — 1989sBiggestFan13

"This is what killed my relationship with my ex-fiance after 7 years. I genuinely thought I was asexual -- nope. He just watched so much, such intense porn (even when I was putting out) that I stopped having any sexual interest at all." — Arwynn

8. Conspiracy theories

"There wasn’t an insane conspiracy theory this dude didn’t believe. ...The first one he told me: on our second date was around the time of the Miami Mall incident. He truly believed 8ft tall shadow aliens invaded the Miami Mall and the government was keeping hush about it. His further conspiracy was that the government was overrun by 'replaced people' basically aliens pretending to be people." — SinfullySInless

9. Video games

"Video games are far more important than spending time with their partner. I'm a very simple person. I don't care about gifts or having money spent on me. Let's go for a walk in the park, just spend some time with me. My ex-husband would find any excuse to not spend time with me. The most common was 'gas costs money, I'd rather hang out at home.' His idea of 'hanging out' was him playing video games with his online friends while I sat quietly watching TV, but with the volume super low so his friends wouldn't be 'distracted.' God forbid I laughed at all, he'd get so mad at me for it." — NatAttack89

10. Peter Pan syndrome

"Peter Pan syndrome. When my 60-year-old boyfriend told me (53F) the reason he had not 1 dollar saved for his retirement is because he is a 'risk taker' and I’m not, I realized I’d have to support him for the rest of his life while he looked down on me for it and walked away." — Slosee

11. Domestic burden imbalance

"Incompatible cleaning habits. Seems like an easy thing to remedy but in reality different standards of cleanliness will create an uneven burden of domestic labor for the partner with higher standards, or create a living environment in which that partner is uncomfortable, or create a situation where the partner with lower standards feels constantly berated/nagged to do something they don’t see as benefitting them in any way. I know multiple couples who broke up at or just before the 'moving in' stage for this reason, and I think it’s a super valid way to decide you’re not compatible in a long-term domestic relationship." — Angstyaspen

12. Stuck in a rut

"Disinterest in trying or experiencing new things and only sticking with what they know. If you’re someone who enjoys trying new restaurants, going to events, exploring new cultural experiences, etc and your partner is content to sit at home in their comfort zone, it eventually gets frustrating. I refused to date someone because of this mentality. If it wasn’t happening within a few miles of his house, he wasn’t terribly excited about doing it. Also, men who think basketball or gym shorts are acceptable casual attire." — Edjennersmilkmaid

13. Fell out of love

"Because you don’t love them anymore. I say this is an underrated reason because so many people think they need a catalyst event in order to justify breaking up. But if you’re not happy and the relationship isn’t fulfilling, that’s a solid enough reason." — Lydviciousss

14. Immaturity

"It felt like parenting. Like I was hanging out with a kid all the time. I was doing all the work, all the driving, all the planning. Like I was managing a child. 'This ain’t my job.'" — K19081985

15. Geographically undesirable

"Not agreeing on where you want to live. I've seen people start a relationship while one or both was living abroad, thinking 'We'll figure it out.' But actually building a life and having kids somewhere far from your own roots, or just in a place you don't really like, is a lot." — Princess Sophia Black

What's real and what isn't?

It’s feeling harder and harder to separate truth from fiction in the age of fake news.

But conspiracy theories and propaganda are as old as society itself. Perhaps most disturbing of all is the growing wealth of scientific evidence suggesting that we’re influenced even by news we know to be fake.

How many disproven JFK assassination theories are floating around in your brain thanks to Oliver Stone? Do you sometimes wonder if anyone has ever really landed on the Moon? And do you think just maybe it’s possible that Adolf Hitler actually survived World War II and lived out his days in Brazil? If so, you’re not alone.



And that’s to say nothing of more modern conspiracy theories driven by social media, making unfounded claims about everything from diets to money to the state of reality itself.

But sometimes the wildest conspiracies are true. Like these six seemingly insane conspiracy theories that are quite real:

A radar lit in rainbow colorsmulticolored neon-lighted satellitePhoto by James Sloan on Unsplash


1. "Gaydar"

Who doesn’t love Canada? Well, 1960’s Canada wasn’t quite the squishy utopia it seems to be today. The Canadian government hired Carleton University professor Frank Robert Wake to create something it maliciously called the “fruit machine,” which they believed could detect and identify gay men. It wasn’t part of some benign effort to understand human sexuality.

It was part of a sick bit of McCarthyism with the stated goal of getting all gay men out of the country’s government.

More than 400 people lost their jobs, and 9,000 more were kept on a file of “suspects.” The device claimed to work by measuring how much a subject’s pupils dilated after being forced to look at same-sex erotic imagery.


Harry Truman and MK Ultra

Declassified documents on the MK Ultra program and President Harry Truman

Images via Wikipedia

2. MKUltra

Back in the 1950s the CIA secretly dosed individuals with LSD in order to test the potential effects of mind control. Although the practice reportedly continued for two decades, it was launched before the drug movement of the 1960s made LSD into a popular counterculture symbol. And while being given some free acid might sound like a great time to some, or at least the plot to a bad hipster action movie, dozens of people were reportedly left with permanent disabilities after secretly being subjected to massive amounts of LSD and electroshock therapy after seeking treatment for “minor psychiatric complaints.”

Gulf of Tonkin

The U.S.S. Maddox

Wikicommons

3. The Gulf of Tonkin incident

On August 2, 1964, the USS. Maddox opened fire on what it later claimed were several North Vietnamese targets. The skirmish deepened America’s involvement in the Vietnam War, leading to the death of thousands of U.S. soldiers and many more Vietnamese, including hundreds of thousands of civilians. Except, it turned out the “targets” the Maddox fired upon didn’t actually exist. It’s still debated today whether the incident was an intentional misdirection by the military. But one thing is certain: President Johnson’s original claim that the North Vietnamese fired first has been debunked. Even former Defense Secretary Robert McNamara admitted as much in an interview before his death. After all, it’s kind of hard to start a fight when you’re not even there.

Bohemian Grove

Harvey Hancock speaking to a group of Bohemian Grove members

Wikicommons

4. Bohemian Grove: A secretive gathering of world elites

A secretive organization of people that control the world? Well, it turns out it does exist and many of its members are powerful world leaders and titans of industry. The real action happens at Bohemian Grove, which appears to primarily exist as a place “where the rich and powerful go to misbehave” according to The Washington Post.

Or, alternatively, to hear it from the group directly, where members, “share a passion for the outdoors, music, and theater.” However, along with more traditional fare such as drinking and big dinners, the regular activities also reportedly include performing rituals before a giant wooden owl, according to The Post.

Owners of the property host a two-week retreat in California each year for some of the wealthiest and most influential Americans. Past attendees include Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan, both of whom attended before entering the White House. Oh, and it’s where the idea for the atomic bomb was first sketched out.

No big deal.

Dalai Lama

The Dalai Lama giving teachings at Sissu, Lahaul

Wikicommons

5. The CIA helped fund the Dalai Lama

Who doesn’t love the Dalai Lama?

Other than the Chinese government.

Even the CIA can’t get enough of His Holiness and his band of Tibetan resistance fighters. That’s because during the 1960s, the CIA allegedly funneled millions of dollars to the Tibetan Resistance, including what some claim was a six-figure annual “salary” that went directly to the Dalai Lama himself (which he denied). This wasn’t some remnant from the agency’s flirtation with LSD. Rather, it was a pretty obvious attempt to undermine the Chinese government, something the Chinese have complained about for decades. In declassified State Department memos, the organization says: “The purpose of the program … is to keep the political concept of an autonomous Tibet alive within Tibet and among foreign nations, principally India, and to build a capability for resistance against possible political developments inside Communist China.”

Abraham LincolnPresident Abraham LincolnPhoto by Library of Congress on Unsplash

6. The conspiracy to kill Abraham Lincoln

The most commonly held version of events is that actor John Wilkes Booth acted alone when he assassinated President Lincoln inside Ford’s Theater. But it turns out Booth collaborated with no less than 9 other co-conspirators, including Mary Surratt, the first woman executed by the U.S. government. First, there was David Herold, who helped Booth escape after leaving Ford’s Theater. Then, there was George Azterodt, who unsuccessfully attempted to assassinate Vice President Andrew Johnson. Even though Azterodt never actually attempted the act, he was, nonetheless, executed for plotting against the president. Meanwhile, coconspirator Lewis Powell did attempt to assassinate Secretary of State William Seward, severely injuring him. If you ever want to learn the full story of Booth’s traitorous act, and the desperate attempt to capture him and his team, you can’t do better than James L. Swanson’s Manhunt: The 12-Day Chase For Lincoln’s Killer.

This article originally appeared on 08.31.18

Podcast

Upworthy Weekly podcast: Raising ‘nice’ kids, John and Yoko, conspiracy theories

What are Alison and Tod talking about this week? Kristen Bell on raising “nice” kids, Yoko Ono on John Lennon’s inner child and why people love conspiracy theories.

Upworthy Weekly podcast for December 10, 2022.

What are Alison and Tod talking about this week? Kristen Bell shares why she wants to raise girls who are “nice.” Yoko Ono reveals how John Lennon’s creativity came from his inner child and a therapist explains why people are so attracted to conspiracy theories.

Plus, a listener shares some harsh criticism and how Alison helped make Tod a better person.

Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or iHeart Radio.



via Birds Aren't Real / Instagram

A lot of talking heads have remarked that we live in a post-truth era. In 2016, the Oxford Dictionary defined it as "Relating to or denoting circumstances in which objective facts are less influential in shaping public opinion than appeals to emotion and personal belief."

Media bias, political microtargeting, social media, fake news websites, Donald Trump, and man's innate desire to prefer being right over correct, have all unwillingly conspired to create a society where people cling to tribal beliefs, regardless of their validity.

This has resulted in a social milieu where conspiracy theories have become mainstream. Sure, they've always been around, but they seem to have recently graduated from the basement to the mainstream.


Open up Facebook and you're sure to find a post from someone about QAnon, flat-Earth theory, pizzagate, faked moon landings, false-flag shootings, 9/11 truth, Bill Gates' microchips, and Birds Aren't Real.

Yep, Birds Aren't Real is a thing. A pretty big one, too. Birds Aren't Real has over 300,000 followers on Instagram and 66,000 on Twitter. Plus, there are local Birds Aren't Real chapters sprouting up all over the U.S.

The theory postulates that in the '50s, the CIA began killing off America's bird population and replacing them with flying surveillance robots. Birds Aren't Real estimates there are currently 12 billion birds watching us from above.

The group recently held a rally in the non-specific town of Springfield.


It released a video that proves the conspiracy theory has been around since the '80s.


Birds Aren't Real 1987www.youtube.com


Members have spoken out publicly about their beliefs.



It's also ruining Thanksgiving.


However, it's pretty clear that Birds Aren't Real isn't an actual conspiracy theory. Rather, a piece of comedic performance art revealing how ridiculous ideas take hold in the post-truth era.

Its de facto leader Peter McIndoe won't tell you that it's a fake conspiracy, at least not overtly.

"That's one of the saddest things, that people consider that this could be some sort of mass-improvisational performance, or some sort of showcasing, highlighting a new era we've entered into as a society where anything can be true," he told Newsweek. "Even if [the movement being satirical] was the case, you really wouldn't even be able to tell."

He thinks that if it were a parody movement, it could help people cope with living in absurd times.

"I think if it were a parody movement, that might be a point it was trying to make, or maybe, allowing people to cope with those types of presences in our society in a way where you can come together and laugh about the absurdity of a post-truth era, because it's a horrifying thing," he said. "The thing is, we're not that, though."

While for many, the conspiracy theory is a way to shine a light on the ridiculous conspiracy theories corrupting society, McIndoe claims he isn't stopping until all of the birds are culled from the sky.

"The end to this project would only exist in the case of societal acceptance and shutting down the 12 billion robot birds that currently swarm the skies of our nation," McIndoe said, tongue planted firmly in cheek.