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15 women reveal the 'underrated' reasons why they left their significant others

Modern society has created new reasons for people to break up.

woman, break ups, significant others
via Moose Photos/Pexels, Christina Morillo/Pexels, Teona Swift/Pexels

Why are women breaking up with men these days?

When people are ready to leave a relationship, many feel pressure to have a compelling reason. There are reasons that no one will disagree with, such as a partner's abuse, infidelity, or trouble getting along with family.

But what if you just aren’t feeling the relationship anymore, or don’t think they appreciate all you have to offer? Those can be perfectly fine reasons, too. It's totally fine to break up with someone over reasons that some may find trivial.

It’s your life; you can’t live it with your chosen people.

A Reddit user named Grand_Gate_8836 asked the AskWomen forum, “What is a very underrated reason for breaking up with your significant other?” and many women shared that they broke up with their partners because they just weren’t feeling the relationship. Others brought up reasons that people may not have had in the past, such as pornography addiction, immaturity and spending too much time playing video games.


On a deeper level, the discussion made many women who feel insecure about their reasons for leaving someone feel a lot better about following their hearts.

Here are 15 of the best “underrated” reasons for breaking up with one’s significant other.

1. Mental health

"I think bad mental health can be a big reason for splitting from someone. Nobody tells you how lonely it can get to be with someone who has mental health issues. It can take years for you to understand them and then eventually realize that you can’t help them until they choose to help themselves. This is due to severe unawareness around mental health issues I feel." — Grand_Gate8836

2. They don't find you attractive

"At the risk of sounding petty: they don't 100% love the way you look, even if they try to spin it in a positive way. I mean statements like 'she's not beautiful but I love her personality and sense of humor"'or 'she's a 5 on a good day but I guess so am I' or 'she's not what I'd consider my type but there's something about her.' I appreciate honesty as much as one can, but in my opinion, this is just depressing. Beauty comes in so many different shapes and forms. How can someone not find it in a person they claim to love? To me it basically means your SO is settling for you and will be forever comparing you to some kind of ideal you don't match." — JankyRobot42069

3. Not the outdoorsy-type

"I broke up with someone who had very conflicting interests and hobbies to mine and assumed I would just be on board with taking them up with him. I like the outdoors. I do not like devoting every weekend to hiking." — Justwannaread3

"Imo, this is so underrated. 'I enjoy X, but I do not enjoy devoting all of my free time to X.' is absolutely valid in and of itself. And leaving someone who doesn't grasp that is so much better for mental health in the long run." — DragonFlySunrise

4. Different goals

"You know, one thing that doesn't get talked about enough is having different life goals and values as a reason to break up with someone. It's not just about whether you both like the same movies or enjoy the same hobbies. It's about where you see yourself going in life and what you believe in. Imagine you're super into traveling the world and experiencing new cultures, but your partner is more about settling down in one place and building a stable career. It might not seem like a big deal at first, but over time, those differences can really start to wear on the relationship. You might find yourself feeling like you're not on the same page about the important stuff, like where you want to live or what you want to prioritize in life. So yeah, having different life goals and values might not be the most obvious reason to break up, but it can definitely be a deal-breaker if you're not aligned in those areas." — Good1Mufferaw

"It never ceases to amaze me that people ignore compatibility issues. It's the most important feature in a relationship. And marriages that continue regardless of how whack the lack of compatibility is." — Savagefluerelis23

5. You're not happy

"They're just not making you happy. You're just not happy with them, and you deep down feel you could be happier elsewhere either alone or with someone else. They're a good, kind person, a responsible adult, etc, but they're not "it" for you. This is often considered a trivial reason to end a relationship or marriage but it's such a BIG DEAL. You should want to be happy and should want them to be happy too! You know when you're not happy. This idea that you should only leave a partnership or friendship because of something deemed "more serious" doesn't feel right to me. One of the hardest things is walking away from someone who is not abusing you, is really good on paper but it just NOT doing it for you because society will always shame people and especially women for leaving because of unhappiness. That inkling feeling underneath of 'they might not be it for me,' we are taught to just not listen to ourselves." — The_Philosophied

6. Bros came first

"He prioritized his friends over me. I think prioritizing friends and family are important, but it got to a point where I was miserable. We were both mid-thirties, and he wanted to go to parties and bars all the time to see his friends. We never had quality time together. It reached its breaking point when my aunt suffered cardiac arrest and was airlifted from 700km away to the hospital in my city. Instead of coming to the hospital with me, or even emotionally supporting me when I went to be with her, he went to the bar and got drunk. I didn't even get a text or call for 24 hrs he just disappeared. When I got upset, he said, 'Seeing Dave is more important, he's my friend' I broke up with him the next day. My aunt died a few hours later." — MeatCat88

7. Pornography

"Porn addiction. Society has brainwashed people into thinking this is normal behavior." — 1989sBiggestFan13

"This is what killed my relationship with my ex-fiance after 7 years. I genuinely thought I was asexual -- nope. He just watched so much, such intense porn (even when I was putting out) that I stopped having any sexual interest at all." — Arwynn

8. Conspiracy theories

"There wasn’t an insane conspiracy theory this dude didn’t believe. ...The first one he told me: on our second date was around the time of the Miami Mall incident. He truly believed 8ft tall shadow aliens invaded the Miami Mall and the government was keeping hush about it. His further conspiracy was that the government was overrun by 'replaced people' basically aliens pretending to be people." — SinfullySInless

9. Video games

"Video games are far more important than spending time with their partner. I'm a very simple person. I don't care about gifts or having money spent on me. Let's go for a walk in the park, just spend some time with me. My ex-husband would find any excuse to not spend time with me. The most common was 'gas costs money, I'd rather hang out at home.' His idea of 'hanging out' was him playing video games with his online friends while I sat quietly watching TV, but with the volume super low so his friends wouldn't be 'distracted.' God forbid I laughed at all, he'd get so mad at me for it." — NatAttack89

10. Peter Pan syndrome

"Peter Pan syndrome. When my 60-year-old boyfriend told me (53F) the reason he had not 1 dollar saved for his retirement is because he is a 'risk taker' and I’m not, I realized I’d have to support him for the rest of his life while he looked down on me for it and walked away." — Slosee

11. Domestic burden imbalance

"Incompatible cleaning habits. Seems like an easy thing to remedy but in reality different standards of cleanliness will create an uneven burden of domestic labor for the partner with higher standards, or create a living environment in which that partner is uncomfortable, or create a situation where the partner with lower standards feels constantly berated/nagged to do something they don’t see as benefitting them in any way. I know multiple couples who broke up at or just before the 'moving in' stage for this reason, and I think it’s a super valid way to decide you’re not compatible in a long-term domestic relationship." — Angstyaspen

12. Stuck in a rut

"Disinterest in trying or experiencing new things and only sticking with what they know. If you’re someone who enjoys trying new restaurants, going to events, exploring new cultural experiences, etc and your partner is content to sit at home in their comfort zone, it eventually gets frustrating. I refused to date someone because of this mentality. If it wasn’t happening within a few miles of his house, he wasn’t terribly excited about doing it. Also, men who think basketball or gym shorts are acceptable casual attire." — Edjennersmilkmaid

13. Fell out of love

"Because you don’t love them anymore. I say this is an underrated reason because so many people think they need a catalyst event in order to justify breaking up. But if you’re not happy and the relationship isn’t fulfilling, that’s a solid enough reason." — Lydviciousss

14. Immaturity

"It felt like parenting. Like I was hanging out with a kid all the time. I was doing all the work, all the driving, all the planning. Like I was managing a child. 'This ain’t my job.'" — K19081985

15. Geographically undesirable

"Not agreeing on where you want to live. I've seen people start a relationship while one or both was living abroad, thinking 'We'll figure it out.' But actually building a life and having kids somewhere far from your own roots, or just in a place you don't really like, is a lot." — Princess Sophia Black

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Science

Researchers dumped tons of coffee waste into a forest. This is what it looks like now.

30 dump truck loads and two years later, the forest looks totally different.

assets.rebelmouse.io

One of the biggest problems with coffee production is that it generates an incredible amount of waste. Once coffee beans are separated from cherries, about 45% of the entire biomass is discarded.

So for every pound of roasted coffee we enjoy, an equivalent amount of coffee pulp is discarded into massive landfills across the globe. That means that approximately 10 million tons of coffee pulp is discarded into the environment every year.


When disposed of improperly, the waste can cause serious damage soil and water sources.

However, a new study published in the British Ecological Society journal Ecological Solutions and Evidence has found that coffee pulp isn't just a nuisance to be discarded. It can have an incredibly positive impact on regrowing deforested areas of the planet.

via British Ecological Society

In 2018, researchers from ETH-Zurich and the University of Hawaii spread 30 dump trucks worth of coffee pulp over a roughly 100' x 130' area of degraded land in Costa Rica. The experiment took place on a former coffee farm that underwent rapid deforestation in the 1950s.

The coffee pulp was spread three-feet thick over the entire area.

Another plot of land near the coffee pulp dump was left alone to act as a control for the experiment.

"The results were dramatic." Dr. Rebecca Cole, lead author of the study, said. "The area treated with a thick layer of coffee pulp turned into a small forest in only two years while the control plot remained dominated by non-native pasture grasses."

In just two years, the area treated with coffee pulp had an 80% canopy cover, compared to just 20% of the control area. So, the coffee-pulp-treated area grew four times more rapidly. Like a jolt of caffeine, it reinvigorated biological activity in the area.

The canopy was also four times taller than that of the control.

Before and after images of the forest

The forest experienced a radical, positive change

via British Ecological Society

The coffee-treated area also eliminated an invasive species of grass that took over the land and prevented forest succession. Its elimination allowed for other native species to take over and recolonize the area.

"This case study suggests that agricultural by-products can be used to speed up forest recovery on degraded tropical lands. In situations where processing these by-products incurs a cost to agricultural industries, using them for restoration to meet global reforestation objectives can represent a 'win-win' scenario," Dr. Cole said.

If the results are repeatable it's a win-win for coffee drinkers and the environment.

Researchers believe that coffee treatments can be a cost-effective way to reforest degraded land. They may also work to reverse the effects of climate change by supporting the growth of forests across the globe.

The 2016 Paris Agreement made reforestation an important part of the fight against climate change. The agreement incentivizes developing countries to reduce deforestation and forest degradation, promote forest conservation and sustainable management, and enhance forest carbon stocks in developing countries.

"We hope our study is a jumping off point for other researchers and industries to take a look at how they might make their production more efficient by creating links to the global restoration movement," Dr. Cole said.


This article originally appeared on 03.29.21

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Pop Culture

Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds deliver the most entertaining 'Hot Ones' interview ever

They reached whole new levels of spicy silliness.

Credit: First We Feast/YouTube

Watching Reynolds keep a brave face while Jackman hopelessly struggles is everything.

Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman ended their promotional journey for “Deadpool and Wolverine” truly in the spiciest way possible.

The superhero duo appeared in the latest episode of “Hot Ones,” the internet’s favorite interview series where guests eat increasingly spicier hot wings while answering burning questions. And boy, torture never looked so good.

At first, each held their own as they discussed how the movie actually began as a fake-out plan.

“The original idea with this movie was to shoot a fake movie called 'Alpha Cop,' that was intentionally bad… It was about two guys that were sharing one brain and together they make the perfect cop…and the poster says ‘Alpha Cop: two cops, one brain, all balls,’” Reynolds explained to “Hot Ones” host Sean Evans.

“And it was meant to be kind of like horrible. Like 10 people in America would go to see this movie on opening weekend and five minutes into the movie the Marvel logo would flip up and it would actually be ‘Deadpool & Wolverine.’”

There was also a chat about former jobs, where Jackman (already beginning to tear up from the heat) recalled being a clown-for-hire.

“I literally rented a clown outfit…and we had no skills, literally no skills…I broke my rule and I did an 8-year-old’s party. I always knew they were going to find me out and he found me out and this kid yelled to his mom, ‘Mom, this clown is crap.' And I’m like ‘Shut up, kid.'”

Then around the halfway point, hilarious chaos ensued. Though both suffered through the latter rounds, poor Jackman was clearly more victimized. Poor fella goes though all the stages of spice grief—tears, sweat, uncontrollable shimmies, delirious laughter…even bargaining.

Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman Go Claws Out While Eating Spicy Wings | Hot Oneswww.youtube.com

"It tastes angry," Jackman said of the sixth hot sauce. "You know what I'm gonna eat? A bag of rusty razors that's what I'm gonna eat."

Reynolds, on the other hand, was doing far better at keeping his cool. As well as his sarcasm.

"Hugh has never felt physical pain so for him as a pampered starlet, this is important, an important rite of passage," he quipped.

This dynamic was, undoubtedly, everybody’s favorite aspect of the interview.

“The funniest part is watching Ryan provide deep, in-depth responses to Sean's questions and Hugh just fighting for his life in the background,” one viewer said.

Another echoed, “Ryan cracking jokes and Hugh just fighting to survive is funnier than it has any right to be. This is one of my favorite ones to date.”

Some else astutely wrote, “You know the friendship is real by how much they enjoy seeing each other suffer. Like brothers, really.”

But of course, even though Reynolds and Jackman have projected animosity toward each other for laughs, underneath all those jabs is a true friendship.

"Most of our conversations are very vulnerable,” Reynolds revealed.

Jackman even praised Reynolds as a “great father, great family, great family, loves his job, loves his work.”

He continued, “and I don't have anything -- apart from making me do this and he said if you don't I'm gonna just disparage you and make fun of you and tell all of Australia that you just didn't have the guts and Canada is better -- but apart from that, I have nothing. There's nothing [bad to say]."

As Evans put it, they bravely “climbed the hot sauce mountain together,” and we love them all the more for it.

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Family

Naming twins is an art. Here are some twin names people say are the best they've ever heard.

With twins, all the regular pressures of having a baby are doubled, including choosing a name.

Photo credit: Canva

Are you in favor of rhyming twin names? Or is it too cutesy?

Having twins means double the fun, and double the pressure. It’s a fairly known rule to name twins in a way that honors their unique bond, but that can lead to overly cutesy pairings that feel more appropriate for nursery rhyme characters than actual people. Plus, it’s equally important for the names to acknowledge each twin’s individuality. Again, these are people—not a matching set of dolls. Finding the twin baby name balance is easier said than done, for sure.

Luckily, there are several ways to do this. Names can be linked by style, sound or meaning, according to the baby name website Nameberry. For example, two names that share a classic style would be Elizabeth and Edward, whereas Ione and Lionel share a similar rhythm. And Frederica and Milo seem to share nothing in common, but both mean “peaceful.”

Over on the /NameNerds subreddit, one person asked folks to share their favorite twin name pairings, and the answers did not disappoint.

One person wrote “Honestly, for me it’s hard to beat the Rugrats combo of Phillip and Lillian (Phil and Lil) 💕”

A few parents who gave their twin’s names that didn’t inherently rhyme until nicknames got involved:

"It's the perfect way! Christmas cards can be signed cutely with matching names, but when they act out you can still use their full name without getting tripped up.😂"

"The parents of a good friend of mine did this: her name is Allison and her sister is Callie. Their names don’t match on the surface, but they were Alli and Callie at home."

“Alice and Celia, because they’re anagrams! Sound super different but have a not-so-obvious implicit connection.”

This incited an avalanche of other anagram ideas: Aidan and Nadia, Lucas and Claus, Liam and Mila, Noel and Leon, Ira and Ria, Amy and May, Ira and Ari, Cole and Cleo…even Alice, Celia, and Lacie for triplets.

Others remembered name pairs that managed to sound lovely together without going into cutesy territory.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesThese matching bunny ears though. Photo credit: Canva

“I know twin toddler boys named Charlie and Archie and they go so well together,” one person commented.

Another wrote, “Tamia and Aziza. I love how they follow the same sound pattern with the syllable endings (-uh, -ee, -uh) without being obnoxiously matchy matchy.”

Still another said, “Lucy and Logan, fraternal girl/boy twins. I think the names sound so nice together, and definitely have the same 'vibe' and even though they have the same first letter they aren't too matchy-matchy.”

Other honorable mentions included: Colton and Calista, Caitlin and Carson, Amaya and Ameera, Alora and Luella, River and Rosie, and Eleanor and Elias.

One person cast a vote for shared style names, saying, “If I had twins, I would honestly just pick two different names that I like separately. I tend to like classic names, so I’d probably pick Daniel and Benjamin for boys. For girls my two favorites right now are Valerie and Tessa. I think Val and Tess would be cute together!”

Overall though, it seems that most folks were fans of names that focused on shared meaning over shared sound. Even better if there’s a literary or movie reference thrown in there.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesMany adult twins regret that their names are so closely linked together. Photo credit: Canva

“My mom works in insurance, so I asked her. She’s seen a lot of unique ones, but the only twins she remembers are Gwenivere [sic] and Lancelot... bonus points... little brother was Merlin,” one person recalled.

Another shared, “If I had twin girls, I would name them Ada and Hedy for Ada Lovelace and Hedy Lamarr, both very early computer/tech pioneers. Not that I’m that into tech, I just thought it was a brilliant combination.”

Other great ones: Susan and Sharon (think the original “Parent Trap”), Clementine and Cara (types of oranges), Esme and Etienne (French descent), Luna and Stella (moon and stars), Dawn and Eve, plus various plant pairings like Lily and Fern, Heather and Holly, and Juniper and Laurel.

Perhaps the cleverest name pairing goes to “Aubrey and Zoe,” since…wait for it… “they’re A to Z.”

It’s easy to see how naming twins really is a cool opportunity for parents to get creative and intentional with their baby naming. It might be a challenge, sure, but the potential reward is having the most iconic set of twins ever. Totally worth it!

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Family

Wife has the perfect response when husband introduces her to coworkers as 'The Housewife'

She began by laughing hysterically.

via Artur Voznenko/Unsplash

An anry wife shares her thoughts with her husband.

A husband invited some new coworkers over for dinner and instead of properly introducing his wife, he made a sexist joke that she felt was belittling. The wife, who goes by the name Sadie on Reddit, shared the story on the AITA forum to ask if she responded correctly.

Spoiler alert: Yes, she did.

“My husband invited his new coworkers over for dinner. When they arrived, he introduced me by gesturing at me and saying, ‘This is Mrs. Smith (he didn't even say my name)...the housewife!'" Sadie revealed.

“I looked at him for a second, then I started laughing hysterically,” Sadie continued. “I then told said, ‘No, honey, I work full time, and YES I still act like a housewife when I'm home because you simply can't bother to help.’” After Sadie’s remark, the guests stared at the husband, who tried to laugh it off and then changed the subject by asking them if they wanted a drink.

The rest of the dinner was awkward, with the husband and wife exchanging angry glances. After the guests left, the husband blew up at Sadie, saying that she laughed like a “lunatic” and that she ruined “his image.”

“I told him he was wrong to lie about my status and deny my degree, to begin with,” Sadie continued. He said I could've talked to him about it privately later but not like this, and making his coworkers think he's useless.” Sadie asked the online forum if she was out of line, and they responded with a collective no.

People overwhelmingly supported the wife, raising an issue far beyond the fact that her husband was seriously inconsiderate. It’s a big red flag in a relationship when one spouse diminishes or belittles the other in public or private.

“Men who diminish their partners to look better at the office are gross. He only seemed to care about his embarrassment and not yours. I'd be mortified if my husband used a lie that robbed me of my success and accomplishments to prop himself up," Geranium27 wrote.

“It's a red flag for the relationship. He doesn't want a partner who is an equal. He wants a dependent woman who he can provide for completely so he can feel like a man," RedWanderingLizard added.

Some also noted that it was wrong of him to disparage homemakers.

"He diminished (being a housewife is not a ‘low’ role, but he meant it that way) you in public, you corrected him. In public. As he deserved,” LetThemEatHay wrote.

The viral post received over 24,000 comments, highlighting the idea that belittling your partner is a serious sign of a dysfunctional relationship that should not be ignored.

According to Psychology Today, backhanded compliments, digs and subtle put-downs are attempts by one partner to make the other feel small and themselves feel big. “Although cleverly disguised as a joke or a compliment, these comments may qualify as ‘toxic’ if they sting, cause confusion, and replay in a person’s mind for days, disrupting their peace,” Erin Leonard, Ph.D. writes.

Ultimately, commenters overwhelmingly agreed that Sadie was right not to let her husband's belittling compliment go unnoticed. By sharing it online, she opened up a meaningful discussion about appropriate humor in relationships. Studies show that it’s healthy for partners to joke around with one another, but when the comments are thinly veiled put-downs and backhanded compliments, it’s no laughing matter.


This article originally appeared on 5.9.24

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Identity

A teacher had to tell her deaf students that people can hear farts. Their reaction was hilarious.

This is amazing.

Photo from Facebook.

Anna Trupiano educates on passing gas in public.

Anna Trupiano is a first-grade teacher at a school that serves deaf, hard-of-hearing, and hearing students from birth through eighth grade.

In addition to teaching the usual subjects, Trupiano is charged with helping her students thrive in a society that doesn't do enough to cater to the needs of the hard-of-hearing.

Recently, Trupiano had to teach her students about a rather personal topic: passing gas in public.

A six-year-old child farted so loud in class that some of their classmates began to laugh. The child was surprised by their reaction because they didn't know farts make a sound. This created a wonderful and funny teaching moment for Trupiano.

Trupiano shared the conversation on Facebook.

1st grade, farts, passing gas

"Wait, they can hear all farts?!?!"

See posts, photos and more on Facebook.

deaf, education, funny

An education reduced to conversations on farts.

See posts, photos and more on Facebook.

students, teacher, sound

Farts are funny.

See posts, photos and more on Facebook.

hard of hearing, vapors, gas

The discerning listener.

See posts, photos and more on Facebook.

While the discussion Trupiano had with her students was funny, it points to a serious problem faced by the deaf community. "I know it started with farts, but the real issue is that many of my students aren't able to learn about these things at home or from their peers because they don't have the same linguistic access," she told GOOD.

"So many of my students don't have families who can sign well enough to explain so many things it's incredibly isolating for these kids," she continued.

Trupiano hopes her funny story about bodily functions will inspire others to become more involved with the deaf community by learning sign language.

"I would love to see a world where my students can learn about anything from anyone they interact with during their day," she told GOOD. "Whether that means learning about the solar system, the candy options at a store, or even farts, it would be so great for them to have that language access anywhere they go."

Interested in learning ASL? Here's a great list of places you can start.

While the discussion Tupiano had with her students was funny, it points to a serious problem faced by the deaf community. "I know it started with farts, but the real issue is that many of my students aren't able to learn about these things at home or from their peers because they don't have the same linguistic access," she told GOOD.

"So many of my students don't have families who can sign well enough to explain so many things it's incredibly isolating for these kids," she continued.

Tupiano hopes her funny story about bodily functions will inspire others to become more involved with the deaf community by learning sign language.

"I would love to see a world where my students can learn about anything from anyone they interact with during their day," she told GOOD. "Whether that means learning about the solar system, the candy options at a store, or even farts, it would be so great for them to have that language access anywhere they go."

Intersted in learning ASL? Here's a great list of places you can start.


This article originally appeared on 12.14.18

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