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Communications expert shares 'powerful' 3-word trick to skip small talk for real rapport

"Here's a powerful game I love to play when I want to instantly deepen my relationship with someone."

via Canva/Photos

A man and a woman talking in a store.

Is there someone in your life that you see often, but your interactions are merely surface-level small talk? You either talk about the weather, what you watched on television last night, or the people you know in common? It could be a coworker you run across in the kitchen, your brother’s new girlfriend that you’ve never really connected with, or that neighbor you always see at other people’s parties that you never have much to say to.

To build a deeper bond and cut through the veneer of small talk, communications expert Vinh Giang suggests you invite them for a round of an old theater game: High, Low, Buffalo. Giang, a keynote speaker who teaches communication and presentation skills, also performs magic.

“Here's a powerful game I love to play when I want to instantly deepen my relationship with someone,” he writes on Instagram. “It's called High, Low, Buffalo, a game commonly played in the world of theatre, and it allows you to discover three topics of conversation. High is something going great, low is something challenging you're going through, and buffalo is something interesting about you."


High, Low, Buffalo questions:

1. What is something that’s going great for you right now?

2. What is a challenge you’re facing these days?

3. What’s something unique about you?

Giang says you should invite the person to the game, which may take a little courage. But anyone you work with, live near, or has just joined your family would probably never say no. He starts the game with a little script: “This might seem a little bit strange, but I really want to get to know you. I love this game called High Low Buffalo. Could I quickly play this game with you? Is that okay?”

At first, it may seem like a big ask in order to build a deeper connection. However, the game is predicated on one of the basic rules that all communications experts know: just about everyone loves to talk about themselves. Studies show that one of the easiest ways to become more likable is to ask people multiple questions and let them talk for most of the time.

The three-word trick to build rapport fast

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The High, Low, Buffalo game is also handy because it creates multiple potential conversation threads and topics for you and your conversation partner to expand on.

“The moment you do this, you build instant rapport, and then when you're in rapport, they will then ask you about your threads," Giang says in a YouTube video explaining the game. "This is the power and and if they don't ask you about your threads, then you bring your threads in."

conversation, woman having coffee, two women chatting, communication, small talk, Two women enjoying a coffee.via Canva/Photos

For those who are a little reluctant to ask their new friend or coworker to play the game, the basic questions are still great for elevating your small talk. The questions are open-ended, which allows your conversation partner to go beyond a simple yes-or-no answer and to open up and talk about themselves.

Ultimately, building your conversational skills is a great way to improve your career, social life, or romantic relationships. For those who feel they’re just not a natural at conversation, Giang's methods show that just about anyone can become a great conversationalist by learning a few simple tools and a bit about human nature.

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Career coach shares the 8 key questions you should be asking to nail a job interview

"Asking good questions doesn't need to be complicated."

@emrezkalla/TikTok

Seven questions to help you seal the deal and stay sane.

Job interviews can be stressful, not to mention disempowering. But it’s important to remember that just as much as the employer is trying to determine whether or not you’re a right fit for the company, you are also sussing out if the company is the right fit for your own goals.

Sometimes we really are in a tight spot, where getting some income, any income, is priority #1. But more often than not, we need to think of the big picture when it comes to where we work, lest we get stuck in a situation that doesn’t actually align with our values. Which is why it’s important to spot out any red flags as soon as possible (i.e., the interview).

Luckily, a career coach has made it easier than ever to handle the dreaded “do you have any questions for us?” part of a job interview to not only stand out among other potential employees, but come out feeling confident about who they might be working for.

In a one-minute clip posted on her TikTok account @emrezkalla, Emily Rezkalla of Em Rez Consulting, pretended to be a job candidate at that part of the interview.

In this scenario, Rezkalla’s character wowed her potential employer by asking 8 very smart, very specific questions, rather than simply saying “no.” You can give them a quick look below.

Questions to ask at the end of your job interview

  • What’s an example of how you’d like the star candidate to contribute to the company beyond the job responsibilities?
  • What’s the biggest challenge the team is facing right now that you want the person in this role to resolve?
  • What are some examples of professional development opportunities that you’ve specifically benefited from at the company?
  • What kind of support does the company provide for employees looking to take on leadership roles?”
  • How would you describe the kinds of relationships the person in this role would have with their team and leadership?
  • Based on your experience, how would you describe the people at the company in three words?
  • What’s an example of how the company handles high volume/stress work days for their employees?
  • What’s a project you recently worked on that has gotten you the most excited so far?


@emrezkalla

Asking good questions doesn’t need to be complicated #careeradvice #interviewprep #corporate #interviewtips #jobsearch #edutokcareer #careercoach


Of course, this is just a basic template. Rezkalla encourages applicants to add their own flair, and to be specific in their questions. After all, “vague questions will get you vague answers.” She also notes that you probably want to only ask 1-3 of these, not all 8 in one sitting.

Rezkalla’s video got a lot of traction and praise online.

“I used your questions and they were blown away! I don’t know if I’ll get the job but at least I made it memorable,” one person wrote.

Another echoed, “I used the first one in my big interview today and they loved it.”

Many viewers were inspired to share their own tips.

“My favorite: what is the biggest challenge you face as a manager?” one person wote.

Another added, “I ask questions during the interview so by the end, I don’t have any. But I always ask about the [remaining] hiring process as in wait time for response. Then I go home and send a thank you email.”

Another person shared, “ I type out my questions beforehand and pull them out at the end. That impresses them”

“The question that has gotten most of the candidates I’ve worked with callback: is there anything on my resume or answers during this interview I can clarify for you?” suggested another.

Whether or not you get the job—and whether or not the job will turn out to be what you need in the long run—are not fully in your control. But having some of these hard hitting questions in your back pocket is just one way of reclaiming a bit of your power back, even when trying to sell yourself.

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'Millionaire Habits' author shares 9 simple tips for nailing any job interview

From carrying a notebook to being real about your weaknesses, these tips might just make your next job interview.

Photo by Hunters Race on Unsplash, Tweet by Steve Adcock on X

Job interviews are notoriously nerve-wracking, but a little prep can help.

Anyone who has applied for a job knows that putting together an impressive resume can get you in the door, but how a job interview goes is what makes or breaks a potential job offer.

Unfortunately, that fact makes a lot of people nervous. One study found that 92% of U.S. adults are anxious about job interviews—more than the percentage of people who feel anxious about going on a first date.

Fortunately, we have experts to share some best practices for nailing just any job interview, no matter the field. Steve Adcock, founder of millionairehabits.us and author of the upcoming book, "Millionaire Habits: How to Achieve Financial Independence, Retire Early, and Make a Difference by Focusing on Yourself First" offers nine simple tips for interviewing that can make a huge difference in how an employer sees you and help you stand out from the crowd in a positive way.

"I've hired hundreds in my career, and I typically knew in 2 minutes whether the candidate stood a chance," Adcock shared on X. "Here are 9 tips that will *instantly* separate you from everybody else that has nothing to do with your resume."

1. Carry a notebook

Adcock says that carrying a notebook makes you look professional—even if you don't end up using it—because it means you're prepared to write down anything that's important.

"It implies you're organized, and companies like organized workers," he writes.

2. Smile

This might seem like a no-brainer, but you'd be surprised.

"I cannot count the number of candidates who looked like they wanted to kill themselves in the interview," Adock shares. "Smiling immediately gives you the upper hand in a sea of normal candidates."

3. Dress to impress

"It's stupid how often I've seen job candidates walk in with jeans or a T-shirt," Adcock writes. "Before the interview begins, I've moved on. If you can't dress up for ONE HOUR for an interview, you're not working with me."

Adcock says a full suit may not be necessary. It's more about showing you've made an effort.

4. Focus on requirements

Adcock says you should know the specific demands of the job and then speak to those.

"If the job requires particular skills, confidently talk about your experience with those things," he says. Use the specific words and names of what they're looking for—Microsoft Office, Agile Development Process, Cisco telephones, etc.

5. Do research

An employer wants to know that you have a good grasp of the company you're applying to work for, and knowing about the company also helps you answer interview questions more effectively.

"Know the company's leaders. Understand its business model. Memorize its mission statement," Adcock explains. "Even the slightest bit of research will help you answer questions the right way. Tailor your answers based on the company's mission. This works."

6: Ask a question at the end

Adcock points out that most interviews end with "Do you have any questions for us?"

"Have a question prepared. Never say 'Nope,' or, 'I think you already answered all my questions,'" he says. "Those are bullshit answers. Ask a good question."

7: Answer "Why us?"

"I asked this question a lot. The answer told me all I needed to know," says Adcock.

Be prepared to explain why you applied for the job and why you want to work there.

"Specific answers are best," Adcock says. "Generic answers mean you didn't prepare. Know your answer."

8. Talk about real weaknesses

People will often try to skirt the "What are your biggest weaknesses?" question, but Adcock says it's important to be real here.

"I've had candidates say, 'I'm equally strong in all areas.' Or, 'I care too much,' yada yada. Wrong answer," he says. "It's bullshit, and your interviewers know it. We all have weaknesses. I've hired people based on their answers to this question alone."

9: Conserve the cologne/perfume

This one may not be high on your list, but a strong scent can immediately ruin a first impression.

"I remember one candidate who bathed in clove oil before the interview. You could smell it down the hall," says Adcock. "Be conservative when it comes to smells, jewelry, or other distractions. Keep it simple."

As you can see, Adcock's tips are only partially about how to answer interview questions. Most of them are simple adjustments in behavior or preparation you should do ahead of time to give yourself the best chance at making an impression on an employer. Job interviews can be nerve-wracking, no doubt, but a little advance prep can go a long way and keeping these tips in your pocket might just help you land the job of your dreams.

You can find more of Steve Adcock's career and financial advice on his website and find his "Millionaire Habits" book on pre-order here.


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Career coach shares the phrase that will stop passive-aggressive coworkers in their tracks

It's all about being direct.

via Jennifer Brick/TikTok and Yan Krukau/Pexels

The phrase that will shut down your passive-agressive coworker.

Dealing with passive-aggressive people, whether at work or in family life, can be very frustrating. It's like trying to solve a puzzle without all the pieces. Their indirect communication and subtle digs force you to guess what they mean, turning simple conversations into a minefield.

It's draining because you're always on edge, trying to decode hidden messages or intentions, which can create a tense atmosphere. It's tough to have to go through all the extra work when you're just trying to get along and keep things smooth.

It also means that passive-aggressive people can take shots at you that you can’t defend because they hide behind the plausible deniability that they were just being helpful.

Jennifer Brick, a career counselor who goes by the moniker “Your Career Bestie'' has some excellent advice for those forced to deal with passive-aggressive people. She has a simple phrase that, when delivered correctly, can stop them from getting beneath your skin.

@jenniferbrick

Replying to @brett.lancaster you shutdown your passive aggressive coworker, here's why they aren't going to admit they're trying to be hurtful. #career #fyp


“I started using this with passive-aggressive people last year, and there has not been even one case where I have used it where the person hasn’t backed off with their toxic little tail between their legs,” she said in a video with over 1.4 million views.

Brick advises that when dealing with someone who’s passive-aggressive, to in “your most neutral tone” and ask one simple yet direct question: “Are you trying to be helpful or hurtful?"

Brick’s approach is a confident, but non-confrontational way of exposing the passive-aggressive person for their toxic tactics while allowing them to save face. That can be important when you have to deal with them on a regular basis.

In a follow-up video, she notes that it is “by design” that the person will say they’re being helpful.

@jenniferbrick

Replying to @beachy625 ofc they're going to lie, we expect them to. here's why...

“The statement I shared in that video is a light confrontation, and they are going to avoid it at all costs,” she continued. “They are going to backpedal, they are not going to say that their intention is to be hurtful. They want to conceal their toxic selves,” Brick concluded.

Bricks’ advice is helpful because people use passive-aggressive communication to hide behind their nefarious ways so they can be hard to expose. This is a way for you to acknowledge their unfair communication tactics without ratcheting the situation up into a full-blown confrontation.

Dr. Cortney Warren agrees with Brick's tactic. The Harvard-trained psychologist says the key is to remain neutral with the person and ask them about their intentions, just like Brick. "You could say something like: 'I know you’re telling me you’re not upset, but it doesn’t feel that way to me.' Or, 'I get the impression that you’re upset. Do you want to talk about it?'” she tells CNBC.

This is another way to confidently address the aggressive hidden message without being confrontational.

"Remind them that you care and are willing to talk if and when they’re ready," Dr. Warren continues. "In the meantime, walk away and focus on what you do have control over: you."

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