‘Parenting Whisperer’ shares why it’s better to teach kids resiliency than to focus on happiness

Resilience is a powerful skill.

May 8, 2023

Photo credit: via Hunter Johnson/Unsplash – He looks dejected, but he'll pull through.

A passage from a new book by Dr. Becky Kennedy makes a strong case for parents to focus more on raising resilient kids than happy ones. The excerpt from “GOOD INSIDE: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be” by Dr. Kennedy was published by Big Think.

Dr. Kennedy is a clinical psychologist, bestselling author and mom of three named “The Millennial Parenting Whisperer” by TIME magazine.

Everyone wants their children to be happy, but Dr. Kennedy argues that the path to that ultimate goal lies in addressing the root cause of unhappiness. When a child doesn’t have the skills to cope with everyday feelings such as disappointment, frustration, envy and sadness, it will interfere with their ability to cultivate happiness. However, If we teach children how to regulate their emotional states, they will be able to develop the peace of mind necessary to be happy.

It’s like the old adage says: “Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach him to fish, and he’ll eat forever.”

“What do we really mean when we say, ‘I just want my kids to be happy’? What are we talking about when we say, ‘Cheer up!’ or ‘You have so much to be happy about!’ or “Why can’t you just be happy?’” Kennedy asks.

Confidence comes from knowing how you feel, feeling at home with yourself, and being compassionate and curious about your internal experience.

The more we help our kids learn that they are okay how they are, the more internal strength they have to change – when they’re ready. pic.twitter.com/HNhyAVTpBZ— Good Inside (@GoodInside) September 27, 2022

“I, for one, don’t think we’re talking about cultivating happiness as much as we’re talking about avoiding fear and distress,” Kennedy continues. “Because when we focus on happiness, we ignore all the other emotions that will inevitably come up throughout our kids’ lives, which means we aren’t teaching them how to cope with those emotions.”

Kennedy believes that focusing on happiness instead of the underlying conditions that create it is like putting a bandaid over the problem.

“For me, happiness is much less compelling than resilience,” Kennedy writes. “After all, cultivating happiness is dependent on regulating distress. We have to feel safe before we can feel happy. Why do we have to learn to regulate the tough stuff first? Why can’t happiness just ‘win’ and ‘beat’ all other emotions? That certainly would be easier!”

So how does one raise an emotionally resilient child?

Kenneth Barish, Ph.D., Clinical Professor of Psychology at Weill Cornell Medical College, told PBS that parents build their child’s resilience by having a 10-minute discussion with them every night at bedtime.

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“In these brief daily conversations, we should ask kids if there is something they might want to talk about—perhaps a problem at school or with friends, something they are angry with us about, or what they may be anxious about the following day,” Barish writes.

“Parents should listen to the child’s recount of the day without judgment and let them know that they have had the same experiences, too. “We can say, for example, ‘Yes, I know, it feels really bad when other kids won’t let you play…I also felt bad and angry when those kinds of things happened to me.’ Many children will respond to these statements with astonishment,” Barish writes.

This parent-child discussion can help children put their disappointments in perspective and learn that everyone has struggles. The key is developing the skills to overcome them.

“Resilience is not a static character trait that children possess or lack; it’s a skill that can be cultivated, and one that, hopefully, parents help instill in their kids from a young age,” Kennedy writes. “Because we can’t always change the stressors around us, but we can always work on our ability to access resilience.”

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In Partnership With Habitat For Humanity →

Homeowners celebrate the completion of their new home in Cambodia's Siem Reap Province alongside Habitat for Humanity volunteers and staff.

Culture, Family

A safe, stable home can change lives for the better. Here’s how Habitat for Humanity wants to make that possible for everyone.

Better health, better jobs, and a brighter future all start with access to a safe, affordable home.

Sarah Watts

3/25/2026
A single door can open up a world of endless possibilities. For homeowners, the front door of their house is a gateway to financial stability, job security, and better health. Yet for many, that door remains closed. Due to the rising costs of housing, 1 in 3 people around the world wake up without the security of safe, affordable housing.

Since 1976, Habitat for Humanity has made it their mission to unlock and open the door to opportunity for families everywhere, and their efforts have paid off in a big way. Through their work over the past 50 years, more than 65 million people have gained access to new or improved housing, and the movement continues to gain momentum. Since 2011 alone, Habitat for Humanity has expanded access to affordable housing by a hundredfold.

A world where everyone has access to a decent home is becoming a reality, but there’s still much to do. As they celebrate 50 years of building, Habitat for Humanity is inviting people of all backgrounds and talents to be part of what comes next through Let’s Open the Door, a global campaign that builds on this momentum and encourages people everywhere to help expand access to safe, affordable housing for those who need it most. Here’s how the foundation to a better world starts with housing, and how everyone can pitch in to make it happen.

Volunteers raise a wall for the framework of a new home during the first day of building at Habitat for Humanity’s 2025 Carter Work Project.

Globally, almost 3 billion people, including 1 in 6 U.S. families, struggle with high costs and other challenges related to housing. A crisis in itself, this also creates larger problems that affect families and communities in unexpected ways. People who lack affordable, stable housing are also more likely to experience financial hardship in other areas of their lives, since a larger share of their income often goes toward rent, utilities, and frequent moves. They are also more likely to experience health problems due to chronic stress or environmental factors, such as mold. Housing insecurity also goes hand-in-hand with unstable employment, since people may need to move further from their jobs or switch jobs altogether to offset the cost of housing.

Affordable homeownership creates a stable foundation for families to thrive, reducing stress and increasing the likelihood for good health and stable employment. Habitat for Humanity builds and repairs homes with individual families, but it also strengthens entire communities as well. The MicroBuild® Initiative, for example, strengthens communities by increasing access to loans for low-income families seeking to build or repair their homes. Habitat ReStore locations provide affordable appliances and building materials to local communities, in addition to creating job and volunteer opportunities that support neighborhood growth.

Marsha and her son pose for a photo while building their future home with Southern Crescent Habitat for Humanity in Georgia.

Everyone can play a part in the fight for housing equity and the pursuit of a better world. Over the past 50 years, Habitat for Humanity has become a leader in global housing thanks to an engaged network of volunteers—but you don’t need to be skilled with a hammer to make a meaningful impact. Building an equitable future means calling on a wide range of people and talents.

Here’s how you can get involved in the global housing movement:
- Speaking up on social media about the growing housing crisis
- Volunteering on a Habitat for Humanity build in your local community
- Travel and build with Habitat in the U.S. or in one of 60+ countries where we work around the globe
- Join the Let’s Open the Door movement and, when you donate, you can create your own personalized door
- Shop or donate at your local Habitat ReStore
Every action, big and small, drives a global movement toward a better future. A safe home unlocks opportunity for families and communities alike, but it’s volunteers and other supporters, working together with a shared vision, who can open the door for everyone.

Visit habitat.org/open-door to learn more and get involved today.
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First day of school can be exhausting … but for who?

Family, Moms

Mom admits she isn’t perfect in a hilarious self-made ‘back-to-school’ sign

She was exhausted before the first bell rang.

Tod Perry

Upworthy Staff

5/10/2026

Every year, back-to-school season brings new school supplies, a trip to Target for clothes, and social media channels flooded with photos of kids holding chalkboards. Over the past decade, back-to-school photos with kids standing on their doorsteps with signs with their name, grade, year, and teacher have been ubiquitous on social media.

There’s nothing wrong with the photos, they’re a cute way for parents and kids to mark the passage of time. For most parents, it’s a way to remember that it all goes by way too fast. However, for the “perfect” parents out there who like to flaunt their Instagrammable lifestyle, they’re another way to show off their “flawless” first days on social media.

One mom said what we were all thinking

In an attempt to show parents they don’t have to fall for the myth of perfection on social media, Jeni Bukolt, a mother of two boys from Waxhaw, North Carolina, posted a first-day photo of herself looking burnt out and wearing sunglasses. School hadn’t even begun yet.

View this post on Instagram

“Mom’s first day of school,” the handmade sign read. “I am 42 years tired. I’ll probably miss a school ‘theme’ day. I really like sleep. Please don’t ask me to volunteer. But I will buy you supplies.”

“I make signs for my kids each year but lately I’ve thought about how I always feel behind, as though I’m failing (in some way),” Bukolt told Today. Clearly, other parents feel the same because it was a hit with a lot of them on Instagram.

A lot of comments were from parents who thought the photo was a breath of fresh air during a stressful time of year. “Brilliant, you speak for millions!” cathycole wrote. “May we all survive the drop off/pick up lane,” merakifitnessandpole added.

“I thought maybe if I can create a lighthearted moment, some other moms will laugh and understand we’re all in this kind of struggle together. Like, let’s have empathy for each other,” Bukolt told Good Morning America.

Bukolt hopes her post builds an “empathy bridge” between parents. She’d also like to shine a little reality on the parents who feel judged on social media.

“I also feel like when you look at social media, there’s all these, [picture perfect] worlds,” she added. “It’s not the true story. And some people think like, ‘Oh, they have it better or they’re perfect,’ and this is an opportunity to say no, we’re all real human beings … we’re all in the struggle together.”

Not everyone thought it was funny

But of course, there were some humorless parents who thought her post wasn’t supportive of teachers or her two sons. So Bukolt made a follow-up where she explained that she was just having fun.

“For the keyboard warriors… yes I do have a job, yes I love my kids and no, I don’t hate teachers. Back to work. Have a great day!” she wrote.

View this post on Instagram

She kept it going the next year too

The next year, Bukolt returned with another sign where she said she’s “43 years tired,” has a “new sleep routine,” and please don’t ask her to do any math. “Liam asked me about division last night. I know that common core math should be easier, but apparently I am NOT smarter than a 4th grader,” she joked in the comments.

Parenting is hard and we all fall short of glory at times. Kudos to Bukolt for making us feel a little less alone and letting us know that some folks have already accepted their imperfections on the first day.

“If other moms can get a good laugh about it, then that makes my heart happy,” she said.

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

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They so clearly missed each other.

Family, Kids

Baby twins separated for the first time steal an adorable secret nighttime reunion

There’s nothing like the bond between twins.

Annie Reneau

Upworthy Staff

5/10/2026

If you’ve ever spent a significant amount of time with twins, you know that no other relationship compares. My husband has twin brothers, and one of those brothers had twin daughters (busting the twins-skip-a-generation myth), so our family is quite familiar with the twin bond.

Over and over, we’ve watched with amusement as one adult twin will move across the country for one reason or another, with the other twin eventually, but inevitably, following them. Twins redefine the word “inseparable,” which makes sense since they’ve literally been together since before they were even born.

This baby monitor video says it all

Nowhere is that bond more apparent than in a video of twin babies at the end of their first day of separation ever.

In a TikTok video shared by @thattwinmama back in 2023, we see black-and-white footage from a baby monitor showing baby twin sisters standing in adjacent cribs.

@thattwinmama_
Will forever make me😭… cant think of anything stronger than the #twinbond ❤️ #twinsoftiktok #twins #twinsisters #babylife #twinlove #sisterlove #feelgood #babiesoftiktok #sharethelove #newmom #4u #sistersforever
♬ What Was I Made For? [From The Motion Picture “Barbie”] – Billie Eilish

“Our twins were separated for a day for the first time in their entire lives…” the video text reads. “That night we put them down leaving them alone for the first time in over 24 hours. And pretty sure it’s safe to say they definitely missed each other.”

Watch how the baby girls cuddle and love on one another with the sweetest tenderness.

The head kiss? The back pat? Come on. It doesn’t get any cuter than that.

They still have that special bond today

And in case you were wondering, that fierce love is still going strong, as seen in these later videos from the account:

@thattwinmama_
She said bully who 👀🤣 #twinmom #twins #toddlermom #momlife #twinmomlife #funnymom #funny #toddler #twinsisters #4u #anxiety #twinbond #4upage
♬ Anxiety – Doechii

@thattwinmama_
If looks could kill 😅 Honestly they both would ride or die for one another if I’m honest. #twins #twinmom #twinsisters #twinbond #twinsoftiktok #momlife #funnyvideos #funnytoddlers #fypシ #doechii
♬ Anxiety – Doechii

Science backs up what we already knew

There truly is nothing like the bond between twins. There have even been documented cases of twins who were separated at birth and who ended up having the same traits and making similar life choices later in life. It’s a relationship only twins themselves get to experience, but anyone who is a friend or family member of twins has to try to understand it if they truly want to know them because it’s such a unique and inseparable part of their identity.

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

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Photo credit: Canva – A female student shocked by her poor grade on a test.

Family, Parenting

The forgotten reason teachers don’t use the letter ‘E’ in grading anymore

It will never return to report cards.

Heather Wake

5/9/2026

We all know how the grading system works. A is the best score you can get (and the only acceptable score for the perfectionists among us). Then comes B, which is also generally considered positive. By C, you’re in dangerous territory. D is even worse. And F, well, F is the equivalent of wearing a dunce cap.

But where’s the E grade? Why do we skip over this letter?

Turns out, we didn’t always exclude the letter E from our grading system. And it led to some very confused parents.

The missing grade that vanished from report cards

The earliest record of a letter-grade system comes from Mount Holyoke College in 1897, which quickly spread to virtually every school in North America. When it first debuted, E was the lowest grade a student could receive, with A still being the highest.

Though popular, the system was fairly wonky from the start. As reported by Slate, A represented scores between 95 and 100, while B and C each stood for 10-point ranges. Students could get a D only with a score of “precisely 75.” Anything below that received an E. And then, only a year later, they added F to represent “fail,” and tweaked each letter grade to represent only five points, with scores below 75 resulting in failure. E reflected scores 75 to 79.

Why schools dropped the letter E

However, as the story goes, many parents who viewed E on their child’s report cards interpreted it as “Excellent,” rather than practically failing.

By 1930, most schools became aware of the unintended consequences and did away with the letter grade entirely.

Of course, this hasn’t been the only time schools have experimented with different grading metrics. Some played around with varieties of numerical scales (0-4, 0-9, 0-20, 0-100). Others tried just three grade groups (best, worse, and worst), while some used four under the following labels: “first in their respective classes,” “orderly, correct, and attentive,” “have made very little improvement,” and “they have learnt little or nothing.”

In fact, the further back you go, you’ll notice that tracking an individual student’s progress and mastery through close, personal observation and detailed, descriptive feedback was the norm rather than categorization. But as schools kept getting an influx of students, a standardized and seemingly more efficient system became the norm.

Of course, there have been criticisms of this method since its inception. For decades, educators have shared concerns that it prioritized getting a certain letter grade rather than the intrinsic value of learning.

Could grading systems change again?

Image of a hand writing “Never Stop Learning” in marker. Canva

That debate is still happening today. In recent years, some schools and universities have experimented with alternatives like pass/fail systems, standards-based grading, narrative evaluations, and competency-based assessments that measure whether students have mastered specific skills rather than averaging test scores. Others have adopted portfolios and teacher feedback in place of traditional report cards altogether.

Supporters of these approaches argue that they can reduce anxiety and encourage students to focus more on growth, participation, and curiosity. Critics worry they may make it harder to measure achievement consistently or compare students across schools.

Either way, the disappearing E grade is proof that the grading system has never been quite as fixed or timeless as many people assume. What feels permanent in one generation of classrooms can easily be rewritten by the next. And, arguably, it should be able to adapt as we do.

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Some dads just get it.

Family, Parenting

Boomer dad plays song to comfort his daughter going through divorce and it’s everything

Sometimes you don’t need words.

Heather Wake

Upworthy Staff

5/9/2026

There’s no shortage of stories out there showing how emotionally distant or out of touch some baby boomers can be. Younger generations are so fed up with it that they have their own catchphrase of frustration, for crying out loud. The disconnect becomes especially visible in parenting styles. Boomers, who grew up with starkly different views on empathy, trauma, and seeking help, have a reputation for being less than ideal support systems for their children when it comes to emotional issues.

But even if they often have a different way of showing it, boomer parents of course have a lot of love for their children, and many try their best to be a source of comfort when their kid suffers as any good parent would. Occupational therapist Jacqueline (@jac.rose8) shared a lovely example of this by posting a video of her boomer dad helping her through a divorce in the best way he knew how.

His solution was unexpected and perfect

Turns out, it was the perfect thing.

“My husband just said he’s divorcing me and my dad came over and I was non-functional in bed,” Jacqueline wrote her video, adding that “…boomer dad didn’t know what to do, so he played his favorite song, the Dua Lipa ‘Rocket Man’ remix.”

In the clip, Jacqueline’s dad is faced toward the window describing what he imagines while listening to the song and performing the sweetest dad dance ever. They go back and forth a little bit, but it’s clear that her dad just wants to sit with her in the moment, be a little silly, and provide her with some comfort.

@jac.rose8
#divorcetok #divorcesucks #divorcesupport #divorcesupportforwomen #divorcesupportsquad #supportivedad #disabilitytiktok
♬ original sound – Jacqueline

The heartwarming moment served as a great reminder that a lot of words aren’t always necessary.

The internet fell completely in love

“I am CRYING. This is so precious, he is trying his hardest to be there for you in any capacity. How pure ❤️,” one person wrote.

Another added, “This would instantly make me feel better.”

Even Jacqueline shared in the comments that her dad “didn’t know what to say but he was there and helped me in such a sweet way. He’s the best.”

Proving that he has multiple love languages, Jacqueline later shared that her dad also went out to Home Depot to replace her lightbulbs. Not only that, but her mom also made Jacqueline’s favorite dinner.

@jac.rose8
Replying to @NatCat1738 divorcetok divorcesucks divorcesupport divorcesupportforwomen divorcesupportsquad supportivedad supportivemom disabilitytiktok
♬ original sound – Jacqueline

Great parents exist in every generation

It can be easy to sometimes focus a little too much on the generational differences between boomers and everyone else, but really, it goes to show that great parents (and great people) exist in every generation. Part of what makes them great is knowing that they don’t need to be perfect in order to show up when things are hard. Being there and sharing their love is enough.

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

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Photo credit: @toriefowler/TikTok, used with permission – Florida Teacher Torie Fowler explaining why course recovery is used to play the system.

Family, Parenting

Florida teacher says she’s quitting her job because of school’s ‘course recovery’ shortcut

She explained how many students use course recovery to play the system.

Heather Wake

5/8/2026

There are plenty of reasons teachers across the country have listed for why they are leaving their jobs. But whether it’s burnout or battling against artificial intelligence, there’s one common denominator: the classroom is, by and large, no longer the haven of learning it once was.

One teacher recently gave a prime example of this when she explained “course recovery,” and why that alone has led to her quitting.

What is course recovery?

In a now-viral Tiktok clip, Torie Fowler, an English teacher in Florida, shared that course recovery was originally intended to help struggling students stay on track for passing a class. Essentially it works by offering a semi-condensed make-up curriculum, primarily via online modules, rather than forcing students to repeat the full semester.

However, as Fowler explained, things have gone too far.

@toriefowler
Do you know what course recovery is? I’m positive it’s a public school thing, but what exactly is the child learning from this concept? #teacherlife #teachersoftiktok #teaching #teacher #publicschool
♬ original sound – Torie Fowler

For instance, one of her seniors who earned an 18 percent in her class (which is already bonkers considering the student didn’t ever show up to class, apparently) was assigned course recovery. Somehow, this student was able to complete the entire nine weeks of recovery assignments in a single day, magically passing the class with a 75.

“What are we doing?” Fowler said at the end of her clip.

Granted, course recovery does have its uses. In an interview with Today, Fowler noted that students burdened with illness, family instability, or learning challenges can greatly benefit from it. Still, the students who know how to play the system use it as an easy workaround, forfeiting the opportunity to actually learn. And so far, the system encourages that kind of behavior.

“We are teaching them that there are no consequences for their actions,” she said. “It’s becoming more about getting them through and walking across the stage than actual learning.”

@toriefowler
You can read the full article at the link in my bio, but in terms of public education, do you agree? #teachersoftiktok #teacher #teacherlife
♬ Self Aware – Temper City

Teachers across the country share the same concern

Fowler is far from the only educator experiencing this frustration. Down in the comments, many fellow teachers sounded off.

“We have the same here in RI. It’s so unfair to the teachers, admins and other students.”

“I’ll do you one better: in my district a student who fails a class can do course recovery and change the whole grade for that class. That F becomes an A on the transcript as fast as the student can find answers to everything online, and they can do that in a day.”

“Credit recovery is a joke. I had a student fail on purpose bc CR was easier. If they can complete an entire semester of Algebra in 3 days (I’ve seen it), they aren’t learning the content. Why are we allowing this?!?”

Fowler’s video is just one of many worrying examples of how modern schools are prioritizing graduation rates over meaningful education. Many teachers say they entered the profession to help students grow, think critically, and build real skills for the future. When that mission starts feeling impossible, it’s no surprise that so many educators are deciding they can no longer stay.

@toriefowler
In all my feels as I realize my time in this room is coming to an end this month. Some of it was more than I could dream of, while the reality of a system we can’t change is more than I want to carry. #publicschool #teacher #teachersoftiktok #teachersbelike #teacherlife
♬ original sound – Breezee Talk – Breezee Talk

However, as Fowler put it, it’s important to talk about what’s not working, because with enough conversation, “change can begin.”

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Photo credit: Images via Canva/Photodjo, Andy Dean Photography – Millennials are frustrated with their Boomers parents about real estate.

Family, Modern Families

Millennials struggling to buy a home want ‘out of touch’ Boomer parents to get their reality

Some advice for Millennials dealing with parents who won’t listen.

Emily Shiffer

Upworthy Staff

5/8/2026

Millennials trying to buy homes in today’s economy are up against a rock and a hard place. Unlike for their Boomer parents, the dream of buying a home continues to feel further away.

According to the National Association of Realtors (NAR), Millennials “continue to be fenced out of homeownership.” The organization reported that in 2025, the average age of first-time homeownership rose to 40 years old, up from 38 just the year before, with the share of first-time buyers falling to a record low of 21%. “The historically low share of first-time buyers underscores the real-world consequences of a housing market starved for affordable inventory,” said Jessica Lautz, NAR deputy chief economist and vice president of research.

Millennials are venting on Reddit

Millennials are airing their frustrations amongst each other in the Reddit thread r/Millennials, sharing their stories and experiences with their Boomer parents, with many calling Boomers “out of touch.”

@thejennifink
The disconnect with reality is real but I can’t stop bringing it up. #housingmarket #zillow #realestate #boomers #millennials #millennialsoftiktok #home
♬ original sound – Jenni Fink

One Millennial wrote, “This topic is like hitting a dead horse, but I just needed to rant. Back story, I work out at a gym with people who are our parents age, and of the boomer generation. I overheard them saying, ‘we bought our first home for $65,000. I’m sure kids these days are only paying $125,000 for that same house’. When they said that, I burst out laughing. How are they so out of touch? It drives me nuts.”

Another Millennial replied, “Willful ignorance. Takes four seconds to go on Zillow and find out that’s bullsh*t .”

And another shared, “I’m not kidding… when I showed my dad actual data on itemized COL inflation, he said that ‘the data just says that but that doesn’t mean it’s real’…. This is a guy that I would normally consider smart and with it. When it comes to these kinds of topics of societal degradation, he can’t accept it. He is willfully ignorant to things being worse now for me than they were for him at my age.”

@mel_owens
& invent a time machine. #boomer #homeowner #housingmarket #homebuying #comedy
♬ original sound – Melanie Owens

The Zillow experiment that actually worked

Others explained how they attempted to explain to their Boomer parents how expensive homes currently are. Another shared, “Last Christmas, the sibs and I collectively managed to remember all the addresses we had lived in in our childhoods and Zillowed all of them to show our parents. All are still standing. All were built in the 70s. All are rural or suburban/small towns. Parents were astounded at what these 50+ year houses are going for today, especially compared to what they paid for them 30-40 years ago.”

Millennials added their conversations with parents who got defensive. One wrote, “I legit just had this same conversation! They say ‘complain when it’s 14% interest’ excuse me, your house was 60k and dad was making 40, don’t piss on me and tell me it’s raining. That fancy 250k house is now like 600k…get a grip, average house is 438k.”

Another shared, “My dad still gives me a hard time about renting, constantly tells me how I should invest in a house. I sat him down one day and opened up a mortgage calculator, showed him how with the current interest rates it just wasn’t gonna happen- he seemed to get it. For a little bit anyways haha. I saw him last month and he told me again how rent is wasted money yadda yadda.”

How to talk to your Boomer parents about housing

Millennials can have healthy and productive conversations with their Boomer parents when discussions about buying a home become tense or uncomfortable, Aly Bullock, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist with Paired, tells Upworthy.

Here are three things Millennials can say to their parents during these tough talks:

Phrase #1: “I understand that we have different views on this, and that’s okay with me.”

Bullock explains, “This acknowledges that you understand their POV and you are still willing to stick with your own opinion. It is a very gentle way of setting a boundary and letting them know you are comfortable having different opinions.”

Phrase #2: “I would love to hear you out, and my request is that in return you respect my right to make a personal decision even if it does not align with what you’ve shared.”

“Even when their kids are grown, parents still love the chance to influence their children,” says Bullock. “This phrase lets your parents know that you would love to hear their opinion, you welcome it, AND reminds them gently that you are grown and they should offer you similar respect.”

Phrase #3: “This conversation seems to keep causing tension between us, and I’d rather focus on something we have in common right now. Can we set it aside for a bit?”

According to Bullock, “This acknowledges the tension without placing blame. It gives the adult child an opportunity to stop the conversation before it deteriorates further, while emphasizing the positive pieces of the relationship.”

Finally, she notes that it may take placing boundaries around these conversations. “Remember that you don’t have to tell your parents everything. Some things are better left unsaid,” says Bullock. “The truth is that parents change as they age and may or may not be able to cope well with generational differences or unmet expectations. Try to have compassion for them as you decide which things to keep to yourself in order to protect your own mental health.”

This article originally appeared one year ago. It has been updated.

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Dad discovers child has pinworms and it's freaking people out

Family, Parenting

Dad discovers his son has pinworms and pediatrician hits him with even worse news

Pinworms are super common and absolutely disgusting.

Jacalyn Wetzel

Upworthy Staff

5/7/2026

If you’re a parent you’re likely in one of two categories: parents who have never heard of pinworms or parents who shuddered at the headline. Parents are not really given any sort of warning for all of the eyebrow raising situations that occur in childhood and one dad has found out that there was a lot left out of that non-existent parenting handbook. If you thought lice was bad, well, frankly, you have no idea.

Justin, a dad that runs the TikTok page parentingcheerleader took to social media to tell the world of the current nightmare fuel parenting situation he was experiencing. He’s also doing parents on social media a solid by giving them a heads up on the disturbing secret plaguing the parenting world: pinworms.

So what exactly are pinworms?

The viral video starts out with no trigger warning before he says though clenched teeth, “my son has worms in his anus.” Yeah, you read that right. It’s a thing. A slightly terrifying but totally normal thing.

These don’t look so bad until you realize where they live. By DPDx, PHIL – Public Domain

About 20% of kids will get pinworms at some point. They can affect anyone, but adults rarely get them because they generally have better hygiene habits and awareness about putting their hands in their mouth after touching surfaces. (You usually get a pinworm infection by accidentally swallowing the eggs. Yeah… sorry for that) The first signs will be an itchy butthole, trouble sleeping, and irritability or loss of appetite.

If you’re a glutton for punishment, read on! Pinworms are hard to diagnose, for obvious reasons. They’re very small and hard to see, plus they like to live in a very sensitive, hard to reach area. But they are visible to the naked eye, so diagnosis sometimes involves quite literally looking at a child’s butt with a flashlight. Sometimes doctors will use tape to see if they can collect eggs from the area, which can be seen under a microscope.

No word from Justin on how he figured out that his kid had pinworms, but that’s probably for the best.

“No one tells you about this stuff when you’re thinking about being a parent but apparently it’s like super normal for a child to just have worms in his booty hole,” a flustered, baffled Justin says. In the video, he’s on his way to pick up medicine for his kid while trying to somehow wrap his head around the reality of the situation.

Then a pediatrician made it worse

Dr. Cerissa Key, a pediatrician, chimed in on Justin’s disturbing revelation and assured him and every parent watching that pinworms are a common thing that happens in young children.

But she also dropped some info that others including Justin may not have been ready to hear.

“Justin, sir. I hate to be the bearer of bad news. But if your son has worms in his booty hole, sir, politely and respectfully, you also have worms in your booty hole,” Key reveals.

Key goes on to explain that kids are “disgusting” and don’t wash their hands well so pinworms spread easily if a child at school or daycare has them. She advises that parents stock up on the chalky banana flavored medication that clears them up and to wash everything on hot while being sure to vacuum your floors well. Luckily, there are good over-the-cofteoaboutunter options for suffering families, as well as stronger prescription methods available. Typically, medication can get rid of the pinworm infection pretty quickly.

Parents on the internet did not take this well

People in the comment section of both videos were horrified that this was an actual thing while others commiserated with the stressed dad.

“I have no kids and now I’m paranoid I have pinworms with no symptoms,” one person writes.

“I’ve raised 4 kids and never had this happen. Tomorrow this will be my entry on my gratitude journal,” a mom confesses.

“Do I have kids? No…Do I even work around kids? Also no…do I still have the urge to take this medicine just in case anyways? 100000%,” someone says.

Several people were forced to question if they even wanted kids anymore knowing there’s a 20% chance they may have to deal with this at some point in the future.

@therealdrkey
#stitch with @Justin Allllll about pinworms! It your kid has them, YOU have them. 😩 #pinworms #pinworm #pediatrician #momlife #itchybottom #itchyvulva #pinwormssuck #parenting
♬ original sound – DrCerissaKey

Not everyone was stressed, some were thankful for the information. “Thank you! We haven’t experienced pinworms yet, but super informative and helps to make parenting normalized,” another commenter writes.

Key suggests that if your child has pinworms that the entire family should take a dose of the medication two weeks apart to make sure any left over newly hatched eggs are also killed. Why so thorough? Well, it’s estimated that one pinworm (or threadworm) can lay up to 16,000 eggs.

And on that note…

While you may not have been warned about pinworms, no one ever said parenting would be glamorous. It just seems people weren’t prepared for how unglamorous it could get.

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

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https://youtu.be/4Al1UorzYZE?feature=shared A man speaks to a judge in a courtroom.

Family, Parenting

Man ran a red light rushing to his wife. What the judge did next left the courtroom silent.

“Based on those circumstances, I think it’s appropriate that I dismiss this case.” Judge Frank Caprio after hearing why a man ran a red light to reach his pregnant wife.

Adam Albright-Hanna

Upworthy Staff

5/6/2026

When Jean Lucardi appeared before Judge Frank Caprio on “Caught In Providence,” he was facing a fine for running a red light. The case started with the kind of light-hearted banter that makes Caprio’s courtroom famous. The judge joked about Lucardi’s impressive beard, asking why he grew it.

“Because I’m bald,” Lucardi said. “So, making sense with my face.”

Caprio teased that maybe the sun’s glare on his bald head caused him to miss the light. But the mood shifted completely when Lucardi explained what actually happened.

A pregnant woman makes a phone call. Photo credit: Canva

Lucardi worked as a Lyft driver to support his family. The day he ran the red light, his pregnant wife called him while he was stopped at a signal. She was bleeding. She was having a miscarriage. This was their fifth loss.

“When she called me, she told me she was bleeding and she was pregnant at the time, and I shut down the app, and I was trying to rush to go be with her because she was by herself in the house,” Lucardi explained. He thought he was catching a yellow light but realized later it had already turned red. His wife eventually recovered, but they lost their baby that day.

The courtroom went quiet.

“Based on those circumstances, I think it’s appropriate that I dismiss this case,” Caprio said. He asked about Lucardi’s family, and Lucardi shared that it had been a difficult time. He’d been taking steps to help his wife heal from the trauma of multiple pregnancy losses.

“Our thoughts are with you and your family. Good luck to you. The case is dismissed,” Caprio told him.

The episode, titled “The Pain of Losing a Child,” captured something that doesn’t always show up in courtrooms: the ability to see the human being behind the violation. This wasn’t about letting someone off the hook for breaking a rule. It was about recognizing that sometimes life puts people in impossible situations where following every rule to the letter stops making sense.

Caprio has built a reputation for this kind of compassion. In another episode called “Homeless and Hungry,” he met a homeless autistic woman whose car had been booted with ten violations. She’d just secured a job and was living in her car. She asked for a lenient payment plan. Instead, Caprio covered $300 of her $400 fine through the Filomena Fund and gave her a month to pay the remaining $100. When he learned she was eating only one meal a day, he made sure she left the court with enough money to buy food.

These moments show what’s possible when the justice system makes room for understanding alongside enforcement. Lucardi left that courtroom without a fine, but probably with something more valuable: the knowledge that someone in a position of power had listened to his story and responded with humanity instead of just procedure.

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