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Health

5 tricks for people with phone anxiety to gracefully end a phone call

It may seem simple, but the awkwardness of ending a phone call can feel debilitating to some.

woman on the phone
Photo credit: Canva

Phone anxiety is surprisingly common.

Some people love to talk on the phone, chatting up their friends, family, and acquaintances, effortlessly making conversation from the first "Hello?" to the final "Bye." Others would rather have a root canal done. For people with phone anxiety—also known as telephobia—phone calls are painfully uncomfortable, and just the idea of making a phone call or answering the phone can be enough to send telephobic folks into a panic.

There are far more people with phone anxiety than you might think. A study of office workers in the U.K. in 2019 found that 76 percent of millennials surveyed dealt with phone anxiety, compared with 40 percent of the boomers. Even 40 percent is a lot of people, but three out of four millennials? That's astronomical. Research from Australia shows numbers for Gen Z, who tend to be more prone to anxiety and less experienced with phone calls than their predecessors, to be even higher at a whopping 90%.

People's reasons for being anxious about phone calls vary, but much of it boils down to not being able to see the person we're talking to. In real-life conversations, we rely a lot on non-verbal communication cues, but on the phone we only have our voices to go on. Not having any idea how the person on the other end of the call is receiving what we're saying creates anxiety, and not having any physical cues that aid with the ping-pong of natural conversation can lead to awkward moments of talking over one another.

But perhaps no part of a phone call is worse than the awkwardness of ending one. In real life, you can start gathering your things or use body language to subtly indicate that you're ready to end a conversation. On the phone, you have to signal that verbally, and some of us just aren't adept at the subtleties of graceful verbal exits. "I'm ready to be done talking on the phone now" is what we want to say, but that sounds abrupt. And then there's the back-and-forth pleasantries that seem to have no naturally smooth end to them. For those with socially anxious tendencies, the awkwardness of those final moments of call is unbearable.

However, all is not hopeless for the phonephobes of the world. Ending a call is a skill you can learn and hone with a handful of tools and tricks, like these 5 ways to gracefully end a phone call.

1. Set a time expectation at the beginning of the call that you can reference at the end

This is a "start with the end in mind" tip. When there's a time frame set at the beginning of the call, it's easier to wrap things up without seeming overly eager to get off the phone. Offering a shorter amount of time than you think the call might take helps here. If you know you're not going to want to talk for more than 15 minutes, say you have "about 10 minutes" and then you can give them a little extra. Pepper in some pleasantries, and this trick can give you a natural time to start ending the call.

Beginning of the call: "Hey there! So happy to hear from you! I've got about a half an hour to chat."

After 30 minutes: "Gosh, that time went so fast! I do have to get going, though…"

And if you want it to be a quick call: "Hi! I've got 5 minutes here. What's up?"

At 5 minutes: "I wish I had more time, but let's chat again soon."

If you're the one making the call, you can still set a time frame expectation: "Hey, do you have 10 minutes to chat?" or "I won't keep you long, I just wanted to ask you about…"

2. As you start to feel ready to end the call, indicate a specific amount of time you have left to talk

Instead of, "Okay, I have to go now," which can feel awkward and abrupt, tell the person you have just a minute or two before you have to get off the phone. You don't even have to say what you're doing, just indicate that you need to go soon.

"I've got about a minute before I have to go…"

"I have to run in like two minutes, but I want to hear about…"

"Let me tell share this one last thought and then I have to go."

3. Start using past tense to talk about the conversation you just had

If the goal is to lead the person to the end of the conversation, start talking about it like it's already ending.

"It's been so great to chat with you!"

"This conversation has been so lovely. I've really enjoyed talking with you."

"So glad you called! It was so nice to catch up."

"I'm glad we had the chance to talk about this. It was really important/helpful/enlightening."

4. Express gratitude for the call

A lot of hesitation with ending a call is being afraid the other person with feel like you're trying to get away from them or that you're tired of talking to them. Sometimes that might be the case, but even if it is, you won't want to seem rude. One way to mitigate that is to thank them, which is simple courtesy anyway but also an indicator that it's time to wrap up.

"Thanks so much for calling!"

"I'm so grateful I had the chance to talk with you."

"Thank you for taking the time to chat with me. I really appreciate it."

5. Focus the final wrap up on the other person

So often anxiety makes it so we focus more on what we're saying or thinking about saying than what the other person is saying. But if you focus on really listening, you can reflect back what the person was talking about as way to indicate it's time to conclude the call.

"Oh my gosh, I've just loved hearing about how your job is going and what so-and-so has been up to. So glad things are going so well."

"Well, I'm really sorry to hear about [whatever struggle they've shared] and I hope things turn around soon."

"I've got to get going, but best of luck on your [something they talked about]. You'll have to let me know how it goes."

Ending a phone call may feel like torture for some of us, but as with most anxieties, exposure helps. The more you practice with some specific skills like utilizing the above tips, the easier and more natural it becomes. You might still prefer not to make phone calls if you can help it, but at least when you find yourself on a call, you'll find it easier to leave the conversation without too much excruciating awkwardness.

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Pets

Four guys asked their new neighbor if they could walk her dog. Then the dog wrote back.

"If you ever get bored, we are more than happy to look after him/her."

via Stevieticks / Instagram

A black dog and a note form "the boys from number 23."

If you've lived your whole life with a dog, a home has to feel pretty empty without one. Your heart has to feel like there's something missing as well. When Jack McCrossan, originally from Scotland, moved to Bristol, England with his three friends, they were bummed out to learn that their landlord didn't allow dogs.

So when they saw a beautiful black Sheprador (a German Sheppard Lab mix) in their neighbor's window, they knew that had to become buddies with her. They wrote the dog's owner, Sarah Tolman, a letter asking to arrange a play date with the dog. "If you ever need someone to walk him/her, we will gladly do so," they wrote.

"If you ever get bored (we know you never will, but we can dream), we are more than happy to look after him/her. If you want to come over and bring him/her to brighten our day, you are more than welcome. If you want to walk past our balcony windows so we can see him/her, please do," the letter continued.


"We hope this doesn't come too strong, but our landlord won't allow pets, and we've all grown up with animals. The adult life is a struggle without one," they wrote. "Yours sincerely, The boys from number 23," the letter concluded.

Soon after, the boys in 23 received a response from the dog herself, Stevie Ticks, accepting the offer. However, it may have been written by her human, Sarah Tolman. In the letter, Stevie shares a bit about herself, saying she's two years and four months old, was adopted in Cyprus, and that she's "very friendly and full of beans." (The boys shouldn't worry about a gassy hound, in England, "full of beans" means lively.)


"I love meeting new people and it would be great if we can be friends. I must warn you that the price of my friendship is 5 x ball throws a day and belly scratches whenever I demand them," the letter continued. A few days later, the boys got to meet Stevie. "Meeting Stevie was great!" McCrossan told Buzzfeed. "She was definitely as energetic as described. We got to take her for a walk and she wouldn't stop running!"

black labrador, dogs, dog-walkers, kind nieghbors, stevieticks, bristol, ukA black labrador (representative image).via Canva/Photos

Tolman thought the boys' letter was a fantastic gesture in an era where, quote often, neighbors are strangers. "In a day and age where people don't really know or speak to their neighbors, it was really nice for them to break down that barrier," she said. After the story went viral, she saw it as an opportunity for people to share their love of dogs with the world. "My mother and I are amazed at all the love we've received from around the world these past few days," Tolman wrote as Stevie. "If you have a doggo in your life, share that love with those around you."

A lot has changed in the past 6 years since this story warmed hearts around the globe. The boys have since moved away, but as of September 2024, Stevie is around 8 years old and still doing well. Her keeper and Sarah's partner, Chris Bowley, shared an update on Instagram. "[The boys] sadly moved out of Bristol. However, we have always tried to keep the ethos going of Stevie having as many friends and meetups as possible," Bowley wrote.


This article originally appeared six years ago.

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History (Education)

The U.S. Air Force concocted a serious plan to nuke the moon in the 50s as a show of power

A young Carl Sagan was one of the scientists on the team that planned it.

Photo credit: Canva

The moon nearly had a man-made crater on it.

Over the past 70 years, scientists have created detailed maps of the entire surface of the moon in minute detail, right down to every crater and rock formation. But those maps almost looked a lot different, considering the fact that the United States wanted to detonate a nuclear bomb on the surface of the moon a decade before we sent the first humans there.

That's right, Project A119 (which might as well have been called Project Nuke the Moon) was a real U.S. Air Force project to send an atomic bomb to the moon and detonate it in a spot where the explosion would be seen from Earth. Why? Because we could, and because we wanted the Kremlin to see that we could, in a nutshell.

That team of scientists working on the project included a young graduate student named Carl Sagan. Yes, that Carl Sagan, who became one of the most famous and beloved cosmologists and science communicators of all time. If you're wondering whether he thought nuking the moon was a whackadoodle idea or not, apparently he was at least somewhat on board with it. He thought it might reveal information about possible microbes or organic compounds on the moon.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Let's step back for a minute here. This was the 1950s, a time when much of our scientific advancements and nearly all of our space research was inextricably linked to the Cold War. Support for science was largely dictated by political and military aims, which left scientists to mold their own goals and aims around the projects the government wanted to explore.

If the military wanted to create an explosion on the moon big enough for the Kremlin to see it and feel intimidated, scientists would make the most of the opportunity to learn what they could from it. Some of the team were interested in what the detonation would reveal about the chemical makeup of the moon. Others were interested in studying the seismic effect of the blast on the moon's subsurface structure.

The top-secret project, known by the benign title "A Study of Lunar Research Flights," was launched in 1958 and led by physicist Leonard Reiffel, who would eventually become deputy director of NASA's Apollo Program. To his credit, he did try to explain to the government why nuking the moon might not be such a great idea, scientifically speaking.

"I made it clear at the time there would be a huge cost to science of destroying a pristine lunar environment," Reiffel told The Observer. "But the US Air Force were mainly concerned about how the nuclear explosion would play on Earth."

The plan was to detonate a bomb on the Terminator Line, the border between the light and dark side of the moon, which would be the location most visible from Earth. And as asinine as it might sound to us now, the goal of this enormous undertaking really was just to flex our muscles—to show Russia that we could best them in both the space and the arms race.

"It is a pretty interesting window into the sort of American mindset at that time," Alex Wellerstein, a historian of science and nuclear technology, told the BBC. "This push to compete in a way that creates something very impressive. I think, in this case, impressive and horrifying are a bit too close to each other."

Reiffel himself told The Observer in 2000, ‘It was clear the main aim of the proposed detonation was a PR exercise and a show of one-upmanship. The Air Force wanted a mushroom cloud so large it would be visible on Earth."

Would it have even worked, though? According to Reiffel, they could have gotten the bomb within two miles of where they wanted it and could have detonated it, creating a big enough flash bang to see from here. However, there wouldn't have been a mushroom cloud, since there's very little atmosphere on the moon. Without the resistance of a dense atmosphere, the dust and debris from the explosion would just keep expanding outward; it wouldn't curl back inward into any kind of formation like it would on Earth.

Ultimately, nuking the moon didn't happen, though the reasons the project was scrapped are classified and have never been revealed. Thankfully, we went ahead with sending humans to the moon instead of our most notorious weaponry. Can you imagine how much bombing the moon would have changed our approach to space exploration?

astronaut, moon, NASA

As British nuclear historian David Lowry said according to The Guardian, "It is obscene. To think that the first contact human beings would have had with another world would have been to explode a nuclear bomb. Had they gone ahead, we would never have had the romantic image of Neil Armstrong taking 'one giant step for mankind.'"

It was "one giant leap for mankind," actually, but who's counting? Let's all just be grateful we got that giant leap instead of a big ol' nuclear crater that would forever change the way we see the moon, literally and figuratively.

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Teachers

Florida teacher fired for giving zeros to students who didn't turn in assignments

The lowest grade that teachers are allowed to give students is a 50.

Diane Tirado/Facebook

Left: Teacher Diane Tirado. Right: The note she left for students after being fired.

If you're of the mind that kids today are being coddled and not properly prepared for the real world, well, you might want to buckle up for this one. The story out of a public school in Florida has parents and teachers alike up in arms.

A Florida teacher was fired for giving her students zeros for missing assignments. Diane Tirado has been a teacher for years. Most recently, she was an eighth-grade history teacher at Westgate K-8 School in Port St. Lucie, Florida. Diane recently gave her students two weeks to complete an Explorer notebook project, but several students simply didn't hand it in. Since there was zero work done, Diane gave them zeros.

She got fired for it.

schools, teachers, education, grades, students, parentsMichael Scott from The Office saying "What?"Giphy

The elementary school has a rule called the “no zero policy."

The lowest possible grade that teachers can give students is a 50, even if they don't turn anything in. That means that an extremely poor completed assignment is worth the same number of points as no assignment at all.

Hardly seems fair, right? Westgate is far from the only school that has such a policy, however.

whiteboard, education, classroom, teacher, middle school, 8th grade A message written on the whiteboard for her students after Diane Tirado was firedDiane Tirado/Facebook

It's a rule that Diane, unsurprisingly, does not agree with. After she was fired for disobeying, she left her students a charming goodbye message on the whiteboard.

"Bye kids. Mrs. Tirado loves you and wishes you the best in life. I have been fired for refusing to give you a 50 percent for not handing anything in. Love, Mrs. Tirado"

The scale, as outlined by the school, reads as follows:

A = 90 to 100
B = 80 to 89
C = 70-79
D = 60-69
F = 50-59

Diane later shared the story on Facebook, hoping to spread awareness about the school's policy.

“A grade in Mrs. Tirado's class is earned," she said.

“I'm so upset because we have a nation of kids that are expecting to get paid and live their life just for showing up and it's not real."

Diane's post has gone viral, and most commenters agree with her position – it's not fair to hand out grades for work that doesn't exist.

No zero policies are common in many schools, and teachers notoriouslyhate them. But it's at least worth considering why they exist. Some educators say it's because when a student earns a zero, it's very difficult for them to ever recover their grade in that class. In other words, it may be too harsh. Others argue that, if you don't want a zero, don't turn in nothing! Getting an earned-zero is a great way to learn to at least try.

A follow up statement from the school stated: "Ms. Tirado was released from her duties as an instructor because her performance was deemed sub-standard and her interactions with students, staff, and parents lacked professionalism and created a toxic culture on the school’s campus. ... During her brief time of employment at West Gate, the school fielded numerous student and parent complaints as well as concerns from colleagues. Based on new information shared with school administrators, an investigation of possible physical abuse is underway."

However, school representatives did not deny the existence of the no zero policy, and Tirado claims the school engaged in a smear campaign after she became a "whistleblower" on their policies. She's currently considering legal action against the district.

Still, the debate over the grading policy rages on.

“The reason I took on this fight was because it was ridiculous. Teaching should not be this hard," Diane said.

This article originally appeared 6 years ago.

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Wellness

The powerful Polish mindset that conquers challenges with unwavering spirit and resourcefulness

‘Jakoś to będzie’ is a game-changer.

Photo by Bianca Fazacas on Unsplash

Angel statue in Poland

Over the past decade, Scandinavian concepts like ‘hygge’ and ‘lagom’ have dominated wellness and decorating trends. Hygge, a Danish concept without a direct English translation, captures the essence of coziness, warmth, and comfort in one's surroundings—think candles, fireplaces, and strategically placed lamps. Lagom, on the other hand, comes from the Swedes and roughly means “just enough. " This concept preaches finding tranquility in the balance of all things.

Which, you know, is nice. (Who doesn’t want to live in a lovely, snug home and bathe in the warm glow of candlelight?) What idiot would say no to a perfectly balanced life where there’s never too much or too little?

But sometimes, the biggest concern in life isn’t “How can I make this room cozier?” Life comes at you fast. Money arrives, then leaves even quicker. Families disagree, creating generational rifts that seem insurmountable. Governments fail to protect their citizens, exposing them to war, danger, and poverty. What then? Do Europeans have a neat little phrase for that?


white book near mugHygge is nice, certainly Photo by Pavan Trikutam on Unsplash


“Things will work out in the end”

In fact, the answer is yes. Enter 'Jakoś to będzie' (pronounced 'Ya-kosh toe ben-jay'), which literally translates to "Things will work out in the end." This contrasts sharply with the sunny, optimistic advice that often emerges from idyllic nations like Denmark, the Netherlands, and Sweden. “Learning about happiness from the Scandinavians can feel a little like learning about money from a millionaire when you struggle financially,” writes Olga Mecking. “Instead,” she continues, “why not learn from a country that has been through hell and back — multiple times — and is still standing?”


beautiful multicolored buildings Poland is a living testament to the human spirit Photo by Maksym Harbar on Unsplash

Of course, she is referring to Poland, a Central European country that has existed for 500,000 years. As one imagines, there’s a lot of history sandwiched between those 500,000 years, beginning with the Polish state’s establishment during the 10th century. In the 14th century, Poland joined forces with the Grand Duchy of Lithuania, culminating in the formation of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth—one of Europe’s largest and most populous nations. Then, the strife: during the 18th century, the Commonwealth began to decline, eventually leading to the last King of Poland, Stanislaw Augustus, abdicating the throne in 1975. From there, many wars, insurrections, and violent protests were mounted against the country’s forced partitions, upheld by unwelcomed, occupying armies. However, Poland would not see independence again until 1918, when the Allies agreed to the country’s reconstitution in the aftermath of World War I. From there, even more chaos ensued. Devastation reigned during World War II, as much of the country fell into Nazi Germany’s hands, and Poland saw the near-annihilation of its Jewish population during the Holocaust.

Poland stands today not just as a country but as a powerful testament to the strength of the human spirit: despite the traumas that may come, optimism is always available to us. ‘Jakoś to będzie;’ “things will work out in the end.”


The true meaning of ‘jakoś to będzie’

Much like the country it hails from, the concept of ‘jakoś to będzie’ is all about resilience and grit in the face of life’s darkest and most uncertain moments. “It’s the unwavering certainty that we can do anything, no matter what obstacles we face along the way,” says Beata Chomątowska, co-author of “Jakoś to będzie. Szczęście po polsku” (or “Jakoś to będzie, the Polish way of life”). Meanwhile, the BBC describes ‘jakoś to będzie’ as “the perfect philosophy for tough times.”


brown and green concrete building under white sky during daytimeIt's Poland's philosophy for hard times. Photo by Zhi Xuan Hew on Unsplash

In some circles, ‘jakoś to będzie’ is presented as the anti-‘hygge’. While the latter encourages us to retreat into comfort, to adorn ourselves in cozy objects and fuzzy socks, the Polish approach embraces uncertainty head-on. This isn’t the time for hiding under a blanket with hot cocoa; ‘jakoś to będzie’ stresses the importance of acting without overthinking the consequences. It’s a peculiar philosophy that could only emerge from a country that has endured some of the most brutal hardships in history.

So, in an increasingly erratic, unknowable world, it might be wise to borrow a page or two from this Polish school of thought. Whenever a scary, daunting challenge arises—personal crises, difficulties at work, attempts to navigate any number of global problems, etc.—instead of falling into despair, try channeling a bit of this Polish spirit instead. Don’t overthink. Take that risk. Make something happen. ‘Jakoś to będzie’ — somehow, everything will work out. Moving forward is always better than staying still, no matter how frightening. Or, as Polish author Daniel Lis puts it, “[Life] is always a bit of adventure.”

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Family

Dad surprises wife with epic sushi gondola after she gives birth, and folks are taking notes

"Brother, how can one become your wife?"

@trace.gotsis/Instagram

This probably fed the entire staff too.

Mothers need support from their partners during all stages of pregnancy, but especially while going through postpartum. And while having basic needs met, like doing a fair share of the domestic chores, making sure supplies are replenished, doing night feedings, etc. are vital, a little pampering also goes a long way for making mom feel taken care of and helping to boost her mood.

And what constitutes grade-A pampering? FOOD. Glorious, indulgent food. Especially after nine months of having to abstain from many, many no-no foods and drinks. In this regard, a McDonald's order might taste just as luxurious as a Michelin meal. Hopefully dad/partner knows his lady’s cravings well enough to know which route to take.

One dad (@trace.gotsis on Instagram) certainly understood this assignment to the nth degree, showing up with a literal GONDOLA of fresh sushi that was pretty much an edible work of art. His wife apparently had an epic meal before the baby even got its name.

Watch:

Needless to say, folks were impressed.

“God I see what you’ve done for others 😭”

“Best way to propose to me.”

“What an absolutely epic moment”

“If i ever have a husband and he does this i will marry him again and then 10 more times after that. 😫😫”

That goes for the dudes too.

"Brother, how can one become your wife?"

Many joked that the newborn’s name should be sushi-related.

“You better name that baby Nigiri.”

“Just call him…baby sashimi”

“So did you name it Noah or Sushi? Gotta know.”

Turns out, they would name their little guy Alfie. Which is probably better than a food name in the long run.

Sushi, like soft cheese, alcohol, and caffeine, is off-limits to pregnant women. Sushi in particular can expose a growing baby to mercury, bacteria, and other harmful parasites. That said, Healthline does say that sushi rolls with low mercury cooked fish can be consumed, like spicy crab rolls, spicy shrimp rolls, chicken katsu rolls, or vegan rolls like cucumber avocado rolls and shiitake mushroom rolls. Probably doesn’t hit quite the same, but might satisfy those cravings nonetheless.

sushi, pregnancy, safe pregnancy foods, sushi rolls, new parentsRows of sushi rolls.

And hopefully moms and moms-to-be have partners who know how to show up and anticipate needs during those intense craving moments, and beyond. That, and helping to make sure she can rest and that spaces are clean and comfortable, will help take off some of the load. Even still, those postpartum blues may come, but boy, does it make a difference.

It probably goes without saying that this type of support needn't show up in the form of a huge sushi boat, but hopefully this does offer up some inspo.



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