Woman uses best friend’s hand for unexpected engagement pictures when the ring doesn’t fit

“No one’s going to know.”

best friend's hand; engagement pictures; friend's hand; best friends pictures; funny viral videos
Woman uses best friend's hand for engagement picturesPhoto credit: Nicolette Koske|TikTok

Engagements can be a whirlwind for everyone involved. Unless you’ve previously bought a ring for your partner you have little to no idea what size they wear and how exactly do you ask that question without tipping them off? This is exactly how buying the incorrect ring size happens but with all of the excitement and planning, you make do with what you have and hope it fits.

For David and Nicolette Koske, their engagement got a little interesting in the most hilarious way when the ring David bought didn’t fit. The couple was out with Nicolette’s best friend, Isa Haiti and her partner for a totally normal not at all secret engagement outing in what appears to be the woods. At least that’s what Nicolette likely thought until the diamond was whipped out and being …not placed on her ring finger.

The ring didn’t fit. But the photographer was right there waiting to catch the shot of the newly engaged couple and it’s a rule that you have to give the photographer the best shot possible. That’s when Haiti steps in.


Haiti slips the ring on to make sure the moment was captured for her bestie. How would anyone know it’s not her hand when it’s clearly only multiple shades darker than the rest of her body. Maybe that hand just really likes sunlight or she fell asleep with only that hand in the tanning bed. You don’t know her life. At least those are some of the comments amused viewers are leaving.

“Not me thinking your hand was changing color because the ring was too small and cutting off circulation,” one person admits.

“Apparently your hand went on vacation to the beach!! Your friends are hilarious! Congratulations on your engagement,” someone says.

“Not me thinking you borrowed a friend’s ring before realizing you borrowed the whole hand,” a commenter laughs.

There was some confusion in the comments with people thinking she borrowed her friend’s hand because the diamond was too small, not the ring. This misunderstanding even had people calling her materialistic so she came out with a follow up video to explain.

“I was not even close to talking about the diamond size. My boyfriend could’ve gotten me a Ring Pop with glitter on it and I would’ve been ecstatic,” Nicolette retorts.

She assures people she’s not materialistic and has been laughing at some of the people’s explanations on what they thought was happening in the picture. There was no real context to the video, just the still photo with Bruno Mars “Marry You” in the background, and a text overlay that said “when get engaged but the ring is too small so you’re bestie comes in clutch.” This allowed for people’s imaginations to go wild in the most amusing way possible.

  • Body language expert reveals powerful trick for people who have trouble holding eye contact
    A close-up view of a person's eyes.Photo credit: Canva

    Maintaining lots of eye contact in a conversation is generally considered a good thing. But we’ve all been on the other end of an interaction where the other person stares directly into your soul with intense and unflinching eye contact. It feels uncomfortable and even aggressive.

    On the other hand, many people struggle to hold enough eye contact. It could be due to something as simple as being shy or anxious, or it could be related to a condition like social anxiety or autism.

    So how can we thread the needle and make enough eye contact to build rapport, trust, and comfort with the people we’re talking to, without making either of us uncomfortable? Communications expert Vanessa Van Edwards may have a solution.

    body language, eye contact, communication, communication skills, interpersonal skills, confidence, psychology, social skills
    Vanessa Van Edwards is one of the foremost experts in body language and communication. By Taylor-winnie-bk/Wikimedia Commons

    Van Edwards recently appeared on the podcast The Diary of a CEO and shared her rule of thumb for how, and more specifically when, to make eye contact during a conversation.

    “Eye contact is a power move when you look at someone at the end of your sentence,” she said.

    That’s it. It’s that simple. Before that, you can feel free to let your eyes roam naturally.

    She explained, “We like it when someone is actually accessing different memories or areas of their brain,” noting that moving our eyes is a natural part of that process.

    “But then when I end my sentence and look right at you you’re like [Woah!]” she said. “Highly competent people make eye contact specifically at the end of their sentences to drill a point.”

    Brilliantly, you can see Van Edwards use the exact technique she’s speaking about as she describes it. It comes across as very natural, charismatic, and powerful in the moments when she does choose to engage eye contact, like an exclamation point at the end of her sentences. It also appears fluid and human as her eyes drift to the side, up, or follow her hands as she gestures. There’s no robotic eye lock-on.

    Van Edwards said picking the right moments is more important than the total amount of eye contact, adding, “The worst advice I hear ‘experts’ give: Make more eye contact. Make 100% eye contact. It’s awkward. They’ve studied this, the ideal amount of eye contact is between 60-70% of the conversation.”

    She added that doing more than that amount may be seen as a territorial or aggressive gesture.

    @doacpod

    Body Language Expert – Vanessa Van Edwards Mastering Eye Contact: The Secret to Powerful Communication Discover the transformative impact of effective eye contact in conversations. We reveal why ending sentences with direct eye contact enhances connection and influence, along with expert tips on utilizing body language cues like the lower lid flex for deeper engagement. #EyeContact #BodyLanguage #EffectiveCommunication #PowerfulPresence #SocialSkills #NonverbalCues #EngagementTips #CommunicationStrategies #LowerLidFlex #Influence

    ♬ original sound – Diary of a CEO Podcast

    Nearly a million people viewed the short clip and many commenters found the advice extremely helpful:

    “This woman came out of nowhere and is speaking to my soul”

    “I do this naturally. That’s so cool. I couldn’t possibly maintain eye contact when explaining something.”

    “Finally, an eye contact advice that makes sense”

    “That makes me feel so much better. This is exactly what I do 100%. I’ve always felt like there was something wrong with me.”

    Eye contact while you’re listening is just as important. And Van Edwards has a simple trick for that, too.

    “One of my favorites. It’s called a ‘lower lid flex,’” she said. It’s a simple narrowing of the eyes, as if focusing on an object in the distance, that signals to the person talking that you’re engaged and making an effort to understand what they’re saying.

    “Boy oh boy do we like it when someone is lower lid flexing at us,” she added. “It’s a great power cue to use in moderation.”

    body language, eye contact, communication, communication skills, interpersonal skills, confidence, psychology, social skills
    Two men talking on a street. Photo credit: Canva

    This is a great trick for people who feel awkward or uncomfortable holding passive eye contact while listening. It gives you an action to do, a way to move your face and body, while signaling interest and focus rather than disinterest, which might be indicated by looking away.

    Another popular technique utilized by people who don’t like holding too much prolonged eye contact is the “triangle technique.” It involves letting your eyes move between someone’s eyes and mouth in a triangle shape, or between their eyes and a spot on their forehead for a less intimate approach. This method allows you to keep focus on the person without feeling the searing intensity of non-stop eye contact.

    Eye contact doesn’t come easily for everyone, but no matter where you’re starting, improving the skill has tons of benefits. It helps you bond with others, become more memorable to new people you meet, and project confidence. And with Van Edwards’ advice, it’s more approachable than ever, even if it’s not something that comes naturally to you.

  • Wholesome moment between UPS driver and author caught on camera helps book sales skyrocket
    A quick exchange between a UPS driver and a budding author turned into a beautiful friendship. Photo credit: via @thecallmefirstblueprint/TikTok, used with permission
    ,

    Wholesome moment between UPS driver and author caught on camera helps book sales skyrocket

    The author was struggling to pay the bills. Then one kind encounter changed everything.

    Sometimes, even the simplest human interaction can turn into something miraculous and life-changing. One such interaction recently happened on a New Jersey doorstep, resulting in a launched career and an unlikely friendship.

    In a video that blew up on TikTok, we see UPS driver Kyle Thurkauf inquisitively asking, “What’s the deal with all these books?” as he unloads piles of large boxes.

    Little did Thurkauf know that he was delivering to Damian Lewis, a first-time author who had recently self-published a motivational guidebook for men titled Call Me First: A Man’s Blueprint to True Leadership at Home.

    Upon discovering this, Thurkauf replies, “I’m happy for you, bro!” Before returning to his route, Lewis gifts Thurkauf a free copy.

    @thecallmefirstblueprint Here is a clean, search friendly video description you can drop straight in. It stays real, specific, and searchable. A UPS driver noticed the constant book deliveries at my house and asked what was going on. I handed him a copy of the book I wrote, and two days later he came back saying how much it helped him and asking where he could buy it. This book is written for men who want to lead better at home, communicate with confidence, earn real respect, and become dependable husbands and fathers. It breaks down leadership, responsibility, discipline, and presence in a way most men were never taught. If you are a husband, a father, or a man trying to step up, build structure, and stop guessing your way through life, this book was written for you. Available on Amazon and TikTok Shop. Click the link below to get your copy. Optional hashtags if you want them added #mensleadership #fatherhood #husbandgoals #selfdiscipline #callmefirst ♬ Boundless Worship – Josué Novais Piano Worship

    “Kyle had been dropping off boxes of my books for a while,” explained Lewis in an exclusive interview with PEOPLE. “But we had never actually met face to face. It was usually my wife grabbing the packages or he would leave them on the porch. This was the first time we really crossed paths in person.”

    Lewis added that he was more than content that Thurkauf took a sincere interest in his work. But then Thurkauf returned days later…not to make a delivery, but to tell Lewis how much he enjoyed the book and ask where it could be bought.

    “For him not to have a delivery for me that day, when he came back to tell me how good the book was and to ask me where to get it, it was like, I feel like I made it at that point,” Lewis shared with News 12 New Jersey.

    Pretty soon, that video garnered nearly 34 million views and helped Lewis sell 9,000 copies. This stroke of luck came at a pivotal time, as Lewis informed PEOPLE he had just quit his job in August 2025 to pursue writing full time and was certainly feeling the struggles of self-publishing.

    “Things were slow. I had about six weeks of savings left and knew I might have to walk away if something didn’t change. That momentum honestly helped keep me afloat and allowed me to keep chasing the dream instead of walking away from it.”

    But perhaps most endearing of all, this viral interaction has inspired a very real friendship between two entrepreneurs. Lewis told PEOPLE that, in addition to being a UPS driver, Thurkauf is also the owner of Preservation Pantry, which sells pickles and jams. Now they are both “talking nearly every day” and “supporting each other’s businesses.”

    “Somehow it turned into something bigger than both of us. I’m just grateful for it,” said Lewis.

    As for Thurkauf, he told News 12 New Jersey that he always tries to “provide a close, meaningful relationship” filled with “respect and kindness and gratitude” with every customer.

    This lovely story is just a brief, yet oh-so meaningful glimpse into what humans can really accomplish when they extend friendship and kindness to one another.

  • Inspirational speaker Simon Sinek’s simple rule for how to be honest without being cruel
    Two women chat at a cafe. Photo credit: Canva

    Most people value honesty and try to practice it in their daily lives. In fact, research shows that a majority of people do a pretty good job and are honest most of the time.

    But there are certain situations where it’s hard to be as truthful as you’d like. For example, when the truth has the potential to hurt someone’s feelings, does being honest become cruel?

    There may be a way to dole out necessary, genuine feedback even when it’s tough for the receiver to hear, according to inspirational speaker Simon Sinek.


    psychology, friendship, relationships, parenting, lying, honesty, dr. becky, motivational speaker, simon sinek
    Being honest with our friends is difficult, but crucial. Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash

    Sinek, an author and expert in leadership training, recently appeared on a podcast with Dr. Becky, a clinical psychologist and one of the most prominent voices in the parenting advice space. She’s often called the “millennial parent whisperer” for her uncanny ability to tap into the struggles of modern parents and offer solutions.

    Dr. Becky spoke with Sinek about a conundrum most parents have faced, and one that anyone who has ever had a meaningful friendship or romantic relationship can relate to: what should you do if someone asks for your opinion, but that opinion is likely to sound cruel?

    You might struggle to find the right words when your kid plays poorly in sports or asks for your opinion on a drawing that, let’s face it, isn’t great. You can always lie, but our brains don’t like that solution. Lying doesn’t feel good, especially when it’s someone you care about. Besides, honest feedback is how you help your kids learn and how you help your friends grow.

    Sinek provided another relatable example:

    “I went to see a friend’s performance. It was easily the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life. At the end of the show, my friend comes out, she comes running up to me with a big smile on her face, and she says ‘What did you think?’”

    Here’s where Sinek applies his golden rule: meet facts with facts, and meet emotions with emotions. In other words, “never bring facts to an emotional gunfight.”

    “I can’t bring facts to an emotional state,” Sinek said of the scenario. Instead, he brings his emotions to match those of his friend. He’s excited, he’s encouraging, and he says things that are true without making himself feel icky:

    “It was so amazing to see you on the stage. True. I’ve never seen you do your thing before. True. I’m so glad I came to see you. True.”

    He decided to save his more critical feedback of the show for another time, when he and his friend can have a level-headed conversation, if she wants to hear it. In his case, a few days later, she did.

    “I had a rational conversation in a rational setting,” he said. “But you cannot have a rational conversation in an emotional setting.”

    The clip featuring Dr. Becky and Sinek struck a nerve with commenters, many of whom were eager to apply the idea to their own relationships, whether with their kids or other adults. Commenters wrote:

    “Relationships 101 that is so easy to miss. I’ll bet I’m successful at this 10% of the time. But getting better!”

    “This is golden information thank you.”

    “I like this. It’s a good mantra. Is this the place to be real or should reality wait for rationality”

    “This is straight nervous system science. When someone’s emotionally activated, their body is prioritizing safety over accuracy. The prefrontal cortex goes offline, threat-detection goes online, and even ‘truth’ can feel like an attack. So the skill isn’t just honesty. It’s timing.”

    However, others were more skeptical of the advice. In the scenario involving his friend’s performance, some questioned whether Sinek needed to offer negative feedback about the show at all.

    “Guaranteed that second conversation didn’t actually go down well. Look at the skepticism on Dr Becky’s face too”

    The key element of the story is that Sinek’s friend made it clear she was ready to hear his full opinion of the show. And if she knows him well, she likely had a good sense of what she was signing up for. On the other side of the equation, all of us have the right to choose whether we want to receive that kind of tough honesty from our friends. (At work, we may not have a choice.)

    “This is the reason I have declined the conversation that starts with ‘can I give you feedback?’ And I am like NO WAY!” one user suggested.

    “No” is almost always an option. And it goes the other way, too: you don’t need to offer “constructive criticism” or harsh honesty when it isn’t solicited. Keeping it to yourself isn’t lying.

    That second conversation was probably still uncomfortable. But other experts agree that the ability for friends, family members, and trusted colleagues to give tough feedback ultimately fuels growth and makes relationships stronger.

    Ilene Strauss Cohen, PhD, wrote in Psychology Today:

    “Speaking beneficially and delivering tactful feedback eliminates the chance of causing unnecessary hurt. It also creates a happier environment filled with opportunities to grow. When we communicate authentically, kindly, constructively, and consistently about what we believe in, we can create richer and more meaningful relationships. It isn’t easy to apply this strategy when we’re angry or hurt, but our relationships will give us plenty of opportunities to practice.”

  • After lonely 97-year-old man crashed into her car, an unexpected friendship developed
    Destiny Smith and Jim, then 97, became friends after he crashed into her car.Photo credit: iamdonshay/TikTok

    Fender benders rarely turn into positive things, but for Destiny Smith and 97-year-old Jim, a minor car accident between them began a beautiful friendship.

    In a compilation video shared by Seen.TV of TikTok videos shared on Smith’s account (@Iamdonshay), she explains that back in September 2024, Jim rear-ended her car while she was leaving church. After talking with him, it was clear to Smith that Jim was struggling.

    heartwarming TikTok, caregiving, viral compassion, elder support, human connection, TikTok viral video, friendship story, kindness wins, social media story, helping seniors
    It's an odd way for a friendship to begin. Photo credit: Canva

    A small accident that sparked something big

    It was a minor accident, and she learned that he had no insurance or driver’s license. She also learned that he was 97 years old. “But honestly I was just really worried because he was swerving everywhere. And then after he hit me I got out and asked him if he was okay,” she shared. Jim told her he was, and that he was just trying to go home.

    After talking more, the two realized they lived just minutes away from each other. Smith vowed to Jim that she would “come check up on” him. As the video continues, Smith asks more about Jim’s living situation. She learns that he lives alone, and that he doesn’t have any kids or relatives nearby.

    Destiny knew Jim needed more than just a ride home

    “Who helps you?” Smith asks him, and he replies, “Nobody.” It’s an answer that didn’t sit well with Smith. “I’m so sorry,” she tells him. Smith sought advice on how to help Jim from her social media followers, who she thanks for their insight.

    @iamdonshay

    Replying to @Nicole I am so thankful to everyone who donated to Jim registry. Now he has a mattress topper that is more comfortable for his back and lots of other essentials ♥️

    ♬ original sound – Iamdonshay ??

    With help from social media, Jim gets the care he needs

    “He is now going to have aides. I spoke with a social worker. It’s all just gonna work out,” she says in the video. “It’s all gonna work out for Jim, and I’m so excited, because he’s not gonna be alone anymore.” Specifically, Smith shared in another video that she was able to get Jim assistance from the county, and that nurses will come to his home to help care for him.

    Since then, Smith has remained a steady part of Jim’s life. She visits him often, checks up on him, takes him out to meals, and they celebrated his birthday together.

    In a more in-depth video, Smith told her followers more about Jim’s story. “He’s 97. He’s outlived a lot of his family members. His brother and his wife recently passed away, and they never had children,” she says. “He’s really sweet.”

    @iamdonshay

    Yall asked to see Jim when he was younger… here he is ??

    ♬ original sound – ✨Just vibe✨

    Smith’s followers have praised her for her care and concern for Jim. One viewer commented, “Both of you were definitely meant to cross paths. This is so beautiful of you ,” and Smith replied, “Thank you so much! thanks to God we did! I was very determined to get him help♥️.”

    Another added, “you’re his new granddaughter.” And one more wrote, “you are such a kind person ❤️this has me tearing up.” An especially touched viewer added, “You are literally heaven sent thank you for watching out for him & his wellbeing.”

    A friendship that keeps growing

    Viewers are also obsessed with their unique friendship: “I just love how y’all formed a relationship he needed you ,” one viewer wrote, and Smith replied, “I love him .”

    Another viewer commented, “Dynamic Duo.”

    In July 2025, Smith uploaded a video of her telling Jim some “big news.” In it, Smith is let into Jim’s home where the older man, honestly, seems to be in a hurry. She tells him she wanted to check on him after he didn’t return her call from a week prior, to which Jim apologizes. “It’s okay! I was just worried,” she says. She then follows up with an excited, “Guess what?” to which Jim hilariously replies, ‘Ok, I have to go to sleep now…” Smith assures Jim she’ll let him sleep after she quickly shares her big news: “I moved up the street, so now I’m only two minutes away from you!” Jim immediately breaks into a smile and the two laugh together. “Isn’t that great?” Smith adds. But Jim simply and patiently replies, “Okay…some other time!” Taking the hint, Smith bids Jim goodbye and the two exchange “I love yous.”

    Viewers found the exchange hilarious and wholesome, with one writing, “he’s so unintentionally funny .”

    Watch the sweet video below:


    @iamdonshay

    I think he’s happy ?♥️

    ♬ original sound – Iamdonshay ??

    However, as of December 2025, Smith updated her followers with a video sharing that Jim has since been moved into a nursing home. Though she’s currently unable to visit, she shared that she visits with Jim’s sister-in-law frequently, who keeps her updated on how Jim is doing. They’re hopeful Jim will be able to move back to his own home soon, and the Internet can’t wait for the besties to be reunited.


    @iamdonshay

    She misses him very much and she’s the sweetest lady ❤️ I try to visit her at least once a week to check on her. We believe Jim will be home soon! ?

    ♬ original sound – Iamdonshay ??

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • A boy and his garbage man were friends for 4 years. The sudden goodbye hit them both hard.

    There’s not a young boy on the planet who didn’t go through at least a brief phase of being fascinated by large trucks, especially garbage trucks. There are many wonderful reasons why little kids are fascinated, and at the same time, perhaps a little scared of garbage trucks. They have bright colors, flashing lights, and have massive moving parts that shriek and moan as they lift the garbage bins and throw them in the back of the truck. They are also impressed by the operator who pulls the levers and makes the massive machine lift and dump.

    They also instinctively recognized that the sanitation worker is doing an important and admirable job. They haven’t yet been conditioned to look down on dirty, thankless work and can appreciate it for how vital it truly is. Little kids have this fascination until they are around five or six, until one day when the garbage man comes by they no longer feel the need to run out and watch.

    However, a touching story out of Florida shows that nine-year-old Noah Carrigan never lost his love for the garbage man, and that’s because they forged a sweet relationship.

    But unfortunately, after the city changed its waste management contracts, the garbage collector was informed he would no longer stop by Noah’s house.

    sanitation workers, garbage man, garbage truck, sanitation truck, kids and trucks, truck love
    Kids are able to recognize garbage workers as the heroes they are. Photo by Shihab Chowdhury on Unsplash

    “It started out as something so simple—he was just fascinated by the garbage truck,” Noah’s mom, Catherine Carrigan, told SWNS.

    “For years, every Tuesday, he would run outside to wave, and the garbage man always waved back, honked the horn, and acknowledged him.”

    She filmed the garbage man’s last pickup at his house, and it marked the end of an era.

    On the garbage man’s final visit, Noah handed him a bottle of water, a handwritten note, and some gifts to express his gratitude and appreciation for the kindness and years of friendship. “He wanted to write him a thank you note with garbage truck toys he used to play with,” the mother wrote on a social media post. “This farewell hit hard,” she admitted.

    Noah isn’t the only kid who has bonded with his community sanitation worker. A 4-year-old named Johnny Tsacoumangos went viral a few years ago for his wholesome friendship with the garbage man. The special bond between kids and their sanitation heroes is worldwide:

    Here’s the beautiful moment captured by Noah’s mom, along with clips of the two interacting over the course of years. It’s nearly impossible not to tear up while watching it, not only because of the loving friendship, but because of the quick passage of time.

    The entire friendship goes by in just the blink of an eye, along with a chunk of Noah’s childhood.

    @holisticspark

    For years my son has been waving to the same garbage man every week. ?? Today, he says goodbye as his favorite garbage man retires. ? Thank you for your years of kindness! ??♥️ #garbagemanhero #garbageman #wholesomemoments #kindnessmatters #communitylove #heartwarming #goodbyefriend

    ♬ Ordinary – Alax Warran

    Parents need to take a moment to realize that they are in the midst of something beautiful that is fleeting, as Noah’s mother did. So, when there are those nights when you’re tired and don’t feel like reading them a book before bed, or getting off the couch to play catch, knowing you only have so many of these moments is a great way to enjoy them. Because one day, when they’re gone, you’ll wish you could have read one more book or spent that nice spring day on the lawn throwing a ball around.

    That’s why the story about young Noah and the garbage man is wonderful. On one level, it’s a touching story about the friendship between a man and a young boy, highlighting the importance of the people who work in our communities. On the other hand, it’s a reminder that some of these simple joys in life we share with children will one day end—and you can’t turn back the clock.

    This article originally appeared last April. It has been updated

  • Comedian Tig Notaro eloquently opens up about love and grief in Upworthy exclusive
    Tig Notaro snuggles her cat.Photo credit: Photo Credit: Used with permission from Tig Notaro
    , , ,

    Comedian Tig Notaro eloquently opens up about love and grief in Upworthy exclusive

    “The very last thing Andrea said to me at their bedside was: ‘Tig, I loved being your friend.'”

    Tig Notaro truly contains multitudes. She has the ability to keep people howling by charmingly re-framing the world in an absurd, yet hilariously joyous way. And this same brilliant mind that brings uproarious laughter, also delivers vulnerable depth in equal measure.

    After the death of her close friend, poet Andrea Gibson, Notaro appeared on CNN’s All There Is with Anderson Cooper podcast to discuss grief. (Gibson, who used they/them pronouns, and their wife Megan Falley documented their love and mortality in the gut-wrenching—and also beautifully funny—documentary Come See Me in the Good Light, directed by Ryan White.)

    Cooper, who has also often been open about his struggle to make sense of death and pain, was ready to jump right in.

    Their conversation was heartbreaking, beautiful, and even hilarious.

    Notaro is asked about her friendship with Gibson, who passed in 2025, and what it was like to be there in the moment. “I don’t even know how to explain what I was just a part of and what I just witnessed. It really, really resonated on a deep level. The humanity was on overdrive.”

    After Cooper shares that witnessing the death of someone so close is incredibly moving, Notaro adds, “It’s really making me re-think a lot of things in my life. I think I want a new normal. I’m not holding onto anything that’s not real. I don’t know if it’s right to say make friends with that idea of dying, but it really should be more in conversation. I don’t want my death to sneak up on my kids. Although I’ve had a lot of health issues, so I don’t know if it’s gonna sneak up on anyone! But I really have such a new…” Notaro pauses for a moment for some clarity. “Not that I’m gonna abandon comedy and become a death doula.”

    They seemingly half-jokingly discuss the idea of becoming duel death doulas, with Notaro suggesting they have business cards made up. “Anderson and Tig’s death doula. Sir. Let’s do this! I think people would freak out if we were who showed up in the final moments of their life.”

    Returning to the initial conversation, Notaro shares “But this experience with Andrea really made me understand the importance of really talking about death. Rather than live my life fearing death and trying to kick it away at every possible move I’m making. Cuz it’s coming.”

    In an exclusive with Upworthy, Notaro was willing to leave no stone unturned. (I’ve known her since our 20s, and she has always been quick to make a room explode with laughter, while always game to go deep at anytime.)

    Upworthy: I know you’ve experienced so much grief, and I’d imagine fear, caused by your own health issues over the years. What do you think it was about Andrea passing, in particular, that made you feel like you were really ready to talk about it?

    Notaro: “Yeah, I’ve had a lot of practice with grief: losing love, loved ones, body parts, and health in general. It’s humbling. With Andrea, I think it wasn’t just the loss, it was the clarity. Andrea had already been speaking so openly about mortality and love, that when they died, it felt like the conversation didn’t stop, it just shifted. When I was personally diagnosed with cancer in 2012, I didn’t process it in a poetic way like Andrea did. I was more like: ‘Okay, this is happening. Also, I have a show tonight.’ I think that’s how I survived things before: I kept moving until my body or heart said: ‘Nope. Sit down.’ Andrea’s death made me sit down. It made me realize I wasn’t trying to be brave, I was just ready to be honest with myself and make changes that would make things feel more congruent in my life.”

    Upworthy: If you did become a death doula (and I’d like to hire you if so), what are some of the important things you’d discuss with a person who was dying? What would you say to their families/loved ones to help ease the pain?

    Notaro: “To the person dying, I’d probably say very little. I’d listen. And when I did talk, it would be more about comfort: do you need a blanket? We’re all here. You are so loved—which was basically what we were all telling Andrea in those final days. To families and loved ones, I’d say: ‘There’s no correct way to be present, you don’t have to say the perfect thing, you showed up and that counts more than anything you could possibly say—it’s massive.’”

    Upworthy: I had a friend who died a few years ago and I swear I felt him in my room just a few days later. I know not everyone believes in such things, and maybe it’s our brain trying to make sense of stuff, but have you experienced anything like that?

    Notaro: “I’m sorry for the loss of your friend. I think it’s so nice to know you feel/felt them in whatever capacity. I don’t walk around having clear, cinematic experiences of people visiting me from the other side, but I wish I did. But I have had moments where someone felt very near, whatever that means. And whether that’s spiritual or neurological or emotional or all of it mashed together, I’m just going with it. If something brings comfort and doesn’t hurt anyone, I’m not interested in debunking it. I’m tired. Let people feel things.”

    Upworthy: Is there anything else you’d like to share about your friendship with Andrea?

    Notaro: “Well, Andrea was one of those people who made you feel more honest just by being around them. They were really, deeply funny and deeply gentle in a way that wasn’t fragile. I miss their literal voice. And their words. They didn’t waste any of them. The very last thing Andrea said to me at their bedside was: ‘Tig, I loved being your friend.’ So simple but so beautiful. I will also always really, really miss the way Andrea’s smile lifted the lines on their cheeks. It was one of my favorite things to see, but it also usually meant Andrea was laughing, which was always a joy to hear—that deep, deep belly laughter will forever be missed.”

  • An NFL reporter was criticized for consoling the losing coach, then fans came out to defend her
    A reporter gave an NFL coach a pep talk after a loss, sparking a firestorm of criticism.Photo credit: Canva
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    An NFL reporter was criticized for consoling the losing coach, then fans came out to defend her

    “You can call me fake all you want to, honey. I’ve been doing this a long time.”

    The Jacksonville Jaguars haven’t won a playoff game in three years, and have just a handful of postseason victories in their short history. They have never been to a Super Bowl, making them just one of four teams in the NFL never to do so. That’s why, after fielding one of the franchise’s best teams in years, their latest quick playoff exit was a hard one for fans and the team itself to swallow. It was heartbreaking and gut-wrenching for nearly everyone in the Jacksonville area.

    After suffering a narrow defeat at the hands of the Buffalo Bills this past weekend, head coach of the Jaguars Liam Coen took the podium to answer questions and accept accountability for the loss. Business as usual, despite how demoralized he was feeling.

    One of the questions, however, was far from the usual fare. A Jacksonville Free Press associate editor named Lynn Jones-Turpin raised her hand and chose to use her time to give the coach words of encouragement instead of a hardball question.

    “I’m going to tell you, congratulations on your success, young man,” she said. “You hold your head up. You guys have had a most magnificent season. You did a great job out there today. You just hold your head up, OK? Ladies and gentlemen, Duval. You keep it going. We got another season. Much continued success to you and the entire team.”

    The warm, rousing words had a visible effect on Coen, who began beaming while nodding gracefully. “Thank you, ma’am,” he said with genuine appreciation.

    Talk about a legendary pep talk. You can watch the roughly 30-second moment here:

    The brief interaction was picked up by national sports reporters and celebrated as a wholesome moment of compassion between two professionals.

    Adam Schefter of ESPN called it an “awesome” moment. His post highlighting the interview got nearly 20 million views on X.

    Commenters found the compassionate exchange extremely refreshing coming from the usually cutthroat world of sports, where reporters and coaches spar and trade passive-aggressive barbs. They’re often pitted against each other as enemies, with reporters seeking transparency and accountability and coaches just wanting to be left alone to coach. Coen and Jones-Turpin broke the mold—for one afternoon at least.

    “Whoever she works for needs to give her a raise. We need more people like this in the world!” one wrote.

    “This really is wonderful. It’s fun watching his facial gyrations while she talks to him like an aunty. You can see the kid in the man. Wonderful.”

    “Epically classy from that reporter. Not the finish they wanted, but this squad showed heart all year.”

    “This healed me and I’m not even a Jags fan” someone added.

    While not strictly professional, the moment between Coen and Jones-Turpin was a rare thing of beauty. But that didn’t stop the curmudgeons from questioning the reporter’s professionalism and journalistic integrity.

    Many fans (notably, of non-Jaguars teams) and members of legacy media were quick to point out that a reporter consoling a coach after a loss is not a good display of journalism ethics.

    Hosts on Fox News Sports Radio said, “This is a No-No. She sounds like a fan.”

    Jemele Hill, a writer for The Atlantic, wrote on X, ” It’s literally the first lesson you learn — you aren’t a fan. You can love sports. You can be a fan of competition and games. But you are absolutely not a fan,” while expressing distaste at how Jones-Turpin handled the interaction.

    AP reporter Mark Long, in a now deleted post, called the question “embarrassing” and questioned Jones-Turpin’ credentials, calling her “fake news.”

    The back and forth between supporters appreciative of her words and people looking for journalists to hold a hard line in the sand became quite a kerfuffle in social media, racking up millions and millions of interactions.

    Lynn Jones-Turpin was finally given a chance to respond in an interview on local Jacksonville news, and she defended herself beautifully: By not feeling the need to defend herself at all.

    “It was just an overwhelming day. I can tell you that this entire city, this town, our team, our city, and our coach, we were overwhelmed. … Coach came out, and he was just… emotions. He was totally immersed in his feelings. He had tears, he bit his lip.”

    She then had a chance to address her critics head on. “I don’t take no offense to it. Listen, I’ve been in this business more than 25 years. I’ve interviewed from Barack Obama to Terry Bradshaw to Tiger Woods. He can say whatever he wants about fake news. I am a member of the Black Press,” she said, adding that Black-run newspapers like hers have been around for longer than most modern media outlets. “Support the Black Press. You can call me fake all you want to, honey. I’ve been doing this a long time.”

    Adding more context, journalist Phil Lewis writes, “The Black Press never agreed to conform to the mainstream media’s ideal of ‘objectivity.’ In fact, the first Black newspaper aimed to distinguish itself from other newspapers of its time. This is not to say the pursuit of truth isn’t important, but realizing that ‘objectivity’ has always reinforced white worldviews.”

    Jones-Turpin then joked that she was the new “grandma” or “auntie” of the team.

    Especially after her earnest appearance and non-apologetic attitude for her approach, the support for Jones-Turpin has been far louder than the criticism.

    In a way, coaches and the reporters who cover their teams are coworkers. They interact on a near daily basis, and while they butt heads frequently, they both do what they do out of a shared love for the sport and even for the city they work for.

    The game is ultimately just a game, but the emotions and real-life stakes are very real.

    When emotions are high, who’s to say they’re not allowed a brief moment of humanity and compassion for one another? There are far worse things happening in the world—that much is for certain.

  • Real people say this post-hangout question helps keep friendships alive
    People think this post-hangout question can be a friendship game-changer. Photo credit: Canva, alvarog1970 from alvarostock (main image) / anlomaja (text box)
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    Real people say this post-hangout question helps keep friendships alive

    “It’s such a simple and effective way to show love…”

    It’s not always easy to maintain close friendships as an adult. Everyone’s busy and to some degree exhausted, and free time is scarce. So how do we maximize our friend time? And how do we reach out without looking too pushy? A regular person offered a suggestion: asking one thoughtful post-hangout question that’s made their friendships “so much stronger.”

    It’s pretty simple: “When’s the next time I’ll see you?”

    Here’s their logic: “You’re showing enthusiasm for seeing your friend again, reassuring them you had a good time, and planning the next time you’ll see each other all in one go,” they wrote on Reddit. “Obviously this requires the friend to reciprocate, but it’s such a simple and effective way to show love that has had consistent, lasting effects on my friendships. I don’t typically say this to new friends; it’s for people that I’m confident I want consistently in my life.”

    Their trending post earned hundreds of replies, as people weighed in with their perspectives.

    One person appeared to echo the OP’s sentiment, talking about the importance of having a “chooser” in friendships—someone who will take on the role of making plans. “‘Be a chooser’ is the best advice I ever received,” they wrote. “People want to hang out, but very few want to make the decision to hang out and organize it. Be the chooser…people will follow.”

    In reply, someone added, “I’m the planner and the calendar friend. For a long time, I took it so personal that no one else really planned things. But actually, people appreciate this. If they didn’t, they’d make excuses to not hang out or would just say no instead of enthusiastically agree.”

    Here are more interesting comments, including some with a different perspective:

    “This works because it removes guesswork”

    “I have a group of girlfriends from college that get together every month for brunch, and most of them are also in a book club with me. At the end of each hang, whether it’s brunch or book club, we get our calendars out and plan the next one. Occasionally we skip a month if there’s a ton of conflicts, and not every person makes every single hang, but they happen very regularly and have been happening regularly for about 2 1/2 years now. We’re all late 30s-mid 40s with careers and (in their cases,) spouses and families. 10/10 everyone should do this!”

    “It rules that this works for you! I have to say, if someone asks me this, unless we’re super duper bestest friends I’m just gonna say, ‘hopefully soon- let’s talk!” and not much will change. Seeing friends is more of a time issue than a desire issue IMO. Even if we want to plan things, we’re busy a lot.”

    friendship, happiness, adult friendships, staying close with friends, friendship dynamics
    Two friends hugging. Photo credit: Canva,u00a0mododeolhar from Pexels

    “I see the usefulness of this, but also I think this would low-key give me a panic attack if I just got done hanging out with someone and they wanted to plan the next one. I’m fully prepared to believe this is a ‘me’ thing”

    “Agree with you in spirit but phrasing it that way puts a lot of pressure on them to figure out a date in advance, and some people don’t like to plan far in advance.”

    “Instead I usually go with something like ‘what’s our next thing?’ Easier for another person to figure out what something is than when on the spot”

    “I love this because it shows intention without being clingy. So many friendships fade just because no one makes the next step explicit. This feels simple, warm, and very human.”

    “If this isn’t your speed, you can also text them the next day. This works well for anxious people because it also sends them an affirmation/aftercare if they are worried about the hangout.”

    “This works because it removes guesswork. Clear interest plus a next step keeps friendships from fading by accident.”

    “Focus on the reception”

    While some people felt the question could come off as pushy, the OP clarified their stance with a few key points: they don’t ask it every time they see someone, particularly people they see often, and they always make sure to read the room. They continued, “You do NOT do this after an exhausting event, or with people who do not like planning. Sometimes it’s a conversation opener; others it’s a time to pull out the calendar. This works well for busy people who also like consistent quality time. If that is not you, that’s okay.”

    While every friend dynamic is unique, it’s natural to feel like you’re constantly initiating hangout plans.

    Friendship coach Danielle Jackson explored this idea in a 2021 YouTube video, explaining that there are three key things you can do if you feel like the “giver” in a relationship: give the other person the “opportunity to initiate,” reframe how you view their contributions, and “focus on the reception” rather than the initiative. “At the end of the day,” Jackson says, “it’s less about who’s asking and more about who’s saying yes.”

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