Mom's hot take on the concept of 'it takes a village' has people nodding in agreement
She's not wrong.
The village comes with a price tag.
“It takes a village to raise a child.” First it was an African proverb, then a mainstream phrase to convey the indisputable fact that raising a child is no solo job. But now, in a time where mothers are left by and large without a community (save for maybe the countless online parent groups), that expression seems synonymous with a bygone era.
But the thing is—while the times have changed, the necessity of support has not. Which leaves many frustrated mothers wondering where to turn.
One mom is going viral for bluntly telling it like it is: The village is still there, but now it comes at a price.The woman, Chancè Hindirlane, had stitched another mom’s TikTok video urging others to stop telling moms “it takes a village” when they essentially don’t have one.
Hindirlane responded by saying, “What we need to do is start telling mothers that the village is no longer free.” Therefore, part of the family planning process needs to go into building one.
“We need to start telling future mothers to financially plan ahead for their village. Plan ahead for a nanny. Plan ahead for a housekeeper. Plan ahead for a meal prep. Plan ahead for a postpartum care nurse,” she says.
And it’s not just support staff women should be thinking ahead about. They should also be taught from a young age to look for partners who are willing to take on the responsibilities of parenthood and able to divide labor equally.
“We need to start telling future mothers to pick their partner wisely. Not only pick a man who wants kids, but pick a man who also wants to be a father. We need to start telling them to talk about the division of labor super early on in their relationship.”
No, moms are not meant to do it all alone. But in order to get the help they need, Hindirlane attests, they’ll have to adapt with the times. This is perhaps a little daunting, given how expensive the cost of living already is, but it’s still valuable insight and hard to argue with.
Bottom line: There’s no such thing as a free lunch. Or a free village. So plan accordingly.
Hindirlane’s words struck a chord with hundreds of viewers, many of whom had also witnessed this shift.
“I was a nanny/household manager and it really taught me how insane it is to expect a mom to do it alone,” shared one person.
"'The village is not free’ took my breath away. Nothing is truer. Had I known sooner, I absolutely would’ve planned differently,” added another.
One viewer suggested that couples should “cut back on wedding expenses” and instead get counseling as partners for financial planning. Not only is that a solid point but it also illuminates the collective shift away from certain traditions in favor of decisions that feel more practical, partially out of new ways of thinking and partially out of pure necessity.
Of course, one cannot always simply plan their way out of a faulty financial system. Childcare can range from $5,357 to $17,171, depending on the child’s age and where a family lives, despite childcare staff receiving some of the lowest wages in the country.
With each child accounting for 8% and 19.3% of a family’s income, many are simply priced out and many mothers are forced to stay at home because they’d only be working to afford childcare. Clearly not a winning scenario.
While what should be done systematically to improve these conditions for families is a whole ‘nother conversation, it is a good reminder that a thought-out plan is never a bad thing.
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An Irish woman went to the doctor for a routine eye exam. She left with bright neon green eyes.
It's not easy seeing green.
Did she get superpowers?
Going to the eye doctor can be a hassle and a pain. It's not just the routine issues and inconveniences that come along when making a doctor appointment, but sometimes the various devices being used to check your eyes' health feel invasive and uncomfortable. But at least at the end of the appointment, most of us don't look like we're turning into The Incredible Hulk. That wasn't the case for one Irish woman.
Photographer Margerita B. Wargola was just going in for a routine eye exam at the hospital but ended up leaving with her eyes a shocking, bright neon green.
At the doctor's office, the nurse practitioner was prepping Wargola for a test with a machine that Wargola had experienced before. Before the test started, Wargola presumed the nurse had dropped some saline into her eyes, as they were feeling dry. After she blinked, everything went yellow.
Wargola and the nurse initially panicked. Neither knew what was going on as Wargola suddenly had yellow vision and radioactive-looking green eyes. After the initial shock, both realized the issue: the nurse forgot to ask Wargola to remove her contact lenses before putting contrast drops in her eyes for the exam. Wargola and the nurse quickly removed the lenses from her eyes and washed them thoroughly with saline. Fortunately, Wargola's eyes were unharmed. Unfortunately, her contacts were permanently stained and she didn't bring a spare pair.
- YouTube youtube.com
Since she has poor vision, Wargola was forced to drive herself home after the eye exam wearing the neon-green contact lenses that make her look like a member of the Green Lantern Corps. She couldn't help but laugh at her predicament and recorded a video explaining it all on social media. Since then, her video has sparked a couple Reddit threads and collected a bunch of comments on Instagram:
“But the REAL question is: do you now have X-Ray vision?”
“You can just say you're a superhero.”
“I would make a few stops on the way home just to freak some people out!”
“I would have lived it up! Grab a coffee, do grocery shopping, walk around a shopping center.”
“This one would pair well with that girl who ate something with turmeric with her invisalign on and walked around Paris smiling at people with seemingly BRIGHT YELLOW TEETH.”
“I would save those for fancy special occasions! WOW!”
“Every time I'd stop I'd turn slowly and stare at the person in the car next to me.”
“Keep them. Tell people what to do. They’ll do your bidding.”
In a follow-up Instagram video, Wargola showed her followers that she was safe at home with normal eyes, showing that the damaged contact lenses were so stained that they turned the saline solution in her contacts case into a bright Gatorade yellow. She wasn't mad at the nurse and, in fact, plans on keeping the lenses to wear on St. Patrick's Day or some other special occasion.
While no harm was done and a good laugh was had, it's still best for doctors, nurses, and patients alike to double-check and ask or tell if contact lenses are being worn before each eye test. If not, there might be more than ultra-green eyes to worry about.