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Parenting

Mom's hot take on the concept of 'it takes a village' has people nodding in agreement

She's not wrong.

family planning, it takes a village, moms, motherhood, moms of tiktok
@thehindirlanefamily/TikTok

The village comes with a price tag.

“It takes a village to raise a child.” First it was an African proverb, then a mainstream phrase to convey the indisputable fact that raising a child is no solo job. But now, in a time where mothers are left by and large without a community (save for maybe the countless online parent groups), that expression seems synonymous with a bygone era.

But the thing is—while the times have changed, the necessity of support has not. Which leaves many frustrated mothers wondering where to turn.

One mom is going viral for bluntly telling it like it is: The village is still there, but now it comes at a price.

The woman, Chancè Hindirlane, had stitched another mom’s TikTok video urging others to stop telling moms “it takes a village” when they essentially don’t have one.

Hindirlane responded by saying, “What we need to do is start telling mothers that the village is no longer free.” Therefore, part of the family planning process needs to go into building one.

“We need to start telling future mothers to financially plan ahead for their village. Plan ahead for a nanny. Plan ahead for a housekeeper. Plan ahead for a meal prep. Plan ahead for a postpartum care nurse,” she says.

And it’s not just support staff women should be thinking ahead about. They should also be taught from a young age to look for partners who are willing to take on the responsibilities of parenthood and able to divide labor equally.

“We need to start telling future mothers to pick their partner wisely. Not only pick a man who wants kids, but pick a man who also wants to be a father. We need to start telling them to talk about the division of labor super early on in their relationship.”

No, moms are not meant to do it all alone. But in order to get the help they need, Hindirlane attests, they’ll have to adapt with the times. This is perhaps a little daunting, given how expensive the cost of living already is, but it’s still valuable insight and hard to argue with.

Bottom line: There’s no such thing as a free lunch. Or a free village. So plan accordingly.

Hindirlane’s words struck a chord with hundreds of viewers, many of whom had also witnessed this shift.

“I was a nanny/household manager and it really taught me how insane it is to expect a mom to do it alone,” shared one person.

"'The village is not free’ took my breath away. Nothing is truer. Had I known sooner, I absolutely would’ve planned differently,” added another.

One viewer suggested that couples should “cut back on wedding expenses” and instead get counseling as partners for financial planning. Not only is that a solid point but it also illuminates the collective shift away from certain traditions in favor of decisions that feel more practical, partially out of new ways of thinking and partially out of pure necessity.

Of course, one cannot always simply plan their way out of a faulty financial system. Childcare can range from $5,357 to $17,171, depending on the child’s age and where a family lives, despite childcare staff receiving some of the lowest wages in the country.

With each child accounting for 8% and 19.3% of a family’s income, many are simply priced out and many mothers are forced to stay at home because they’d only be working to afford childcare. Clearly not a winning scenario.

While what should be done systematically to improve these conditions for families is a whole ‘nother conversation, it is a good reminder that a thought-out plan is never a bad thing.

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Joy

5 things that made us smile this week

The animal edition!

True

Been stressed this week? Who hasn’t. That’s why we’re bringing you the latest in good news—five animal-themed stories we guarantee will put a smile on your face.

This week, we’re celebrating:

The most entertaining animal photos you've ever seen

Jason Moore/Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards 2023 and © Tzahi Finkelstein /Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards 2023

Need a laugh? How about a dozen laughs? Look no further than the 2023 Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards, a competition started in 2015 that focuses on the lighter side of wildlife photography. More than 1,800 photographers from around the world submitted photos, and the finalists—from a kangaroo playing air guitar to an arguing set of greenfinches—will absolutely make your day.

Healthier, happier, rescued pets

Hundreds of thousands of pets are relinquished to shelters each year, and many vulnerable pet populations—such as disabled and elderly dogs—can be hard to place in loving homes. Fortunately, Subaru has sponsored the rescue, rehabilitation, and adoption of more than 134,000 of these pets through the Subaru Share the Love® Event. As the largest corporate donor to the ASPCA® (The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals®), Subaru and its retailers are donating a minimum of $300 to charities like the ASPCA for every new Subaru purchase or lease during the 2024 Subaru Share the Love Event, happening now through January 2, 2025.

This animal-centric (and adorable) creative writing assignment 

Amy McKinney, a third-grade teacher in Pennsylvania, recently had a genius idea for teaching her class persuasive writing: Rather than have them formulate an argument for an imagined audience (boring!), McKinney partnered with a local animal shelter and had her class write persuasive descriptions of each animal to help them get adopted. Each student chose a pet to write about and sent their essays to the shelter to display and post to the shelter’s social media channels. Student engagement was “tremendous,” said McKinney, and there’s no doubt these persuasive paragraphs made a huge difference in these shelter pet’s lives. Adorable.

The dog who saved his owner with CPR (yes, really)

Dogs have made the news for saving humans before, but have you ever heard of a dog performing CPR? That’s exactly what Bear, a Siberian Husky-Golden Retriever mix, did in 2022 when he found his owner unconscious on the floor after suffering a major heart attack. Not only was Bear able to quickly call for help, he even jumped on his owner’s chest repeatedly while someone else called the paramedics. Thanks to Bear, the owner survived what should have been a fatal heart attack. Now that deserves some head scritches.

Bee populations have reached a record high

macro shot photography of beePhoto by Jenna Lee on Unsplash

Honeybees are essential to the planet, as they pollinate over 130 types of fruits, vegetables, and nuts. For years, honeybee numbers have been in decline—but happily, that’s starting to change. The US has added almost a million bee colonies in the past five years, with more than 3.8 million honeybees in total.

For more ways to smile, check out how Subaru is sharing the love this holiday season.

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Joy

Comedian's viral video perfectly nails how each generation arrives at someone's house

"Millennials will arrive late, but they will text you to let you know they're on their way, just as they're about to get into the shower."

Samuel Peter/Pexels

Boomers knock. Millennials and Gen Z text "here."

Playing with the contrasts between generations has become a modern pastime, as baby boomers, Gen X, millennials and Gen Z see and experience the world quite differently. Generation gaps have always existed, of course, but the tech age has widened those gaps in big ways, sometimes creating challenges, but often resulting in hilarity.

For instance, watching a Gen Zer try to figure out how to use a rotary phone is pure entertainment. The way emojis are used and interpreted varies vastly by age, making for some chuckle-worthy communication mishaps. Slang terms can be hard to keep up with the older you get, but they can also be manipulated by savvy elders to great comedic effect.

And now, comedian Jake Lambert has compared how the different generations arrive at someone's house in a viral video that's been viewed more than 12 million times.

"You've basically got boomers who will turn up completely unannounced any time from about 7:00 in the morning and they will knock on your door just slightly louder than the police using a battering ram carrying out a house raid," Lambert begins.

"And then you've got Gen X. They would have made the plans well in advance, and they would've also checked in a couple of days before just to make sure the plans are definitely still happening," he went on. "You see, Gen X is the forgotten generation and they're so scarred by this title they would've assumed that you'd forgotten not only about the plans but about their very existence."

"Millennials will have hoped that the plans would've been canceled. There's no reason that a millennial will ever actually want to come to your house," he continued. "They will arrive late, but they will text you to let you know they're on their way, just as they're about to get into the shower. And a millennial will never knock on your door. You'll just get a text either saying 'here' or 'outside,' and that's your cue to go and let them in."

"Similarly, Gen Z will never actually knock," he concluded. "But the chances are they won't have to, as they would have been documenting the entire journey from their house to yours, maybe even on Facetime using this angle [camera facing directly up at the chin] as they go along for some reason. Either that or they'll just send a picture of your front door or a selfie of them outside it. And again, just like the millennial, that's your cue to go and rescue them from the outside world."

People felt alternately seen, attacked and validated by Lambert's assessments, with the most common response being "accurate."

"I‘m a millennial, my husband GenX. Scarily accurate! 😂"

"Described this millennial to a T."

"This is surprisingly accurate 😂 I laughed slightly louder than the police using a battering ram…"

"Sooo accurate…guilty of the lateness and ‘here’ text 🙃"

"I must admit I'm a millennial. But knocking on the door feels so aggressive, uknow? 😅😇"

"Millennial texting to say almost there but just started getting dressed to go out. Why do we do this? It's not intentional, at least not for me."

"Honestly your observations are just brilliant! GenX-er here!"

"The Gen Z angle omg 😂😂"

Some people didn't resonate with their generation's description, but there are exceptions to every rule and some people will never fit a stereotype. However, judging by the wave of affirmative responses, Lambert nailed the generational generalities across the board—and did so in a way that allows us all to laugh at ourselves.

You can follow Jake Lambert on Instagram.


This article originally appeared in July.

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Equality

A boy with dwarfism struggled to get his lunch. So a cafeteria worker made him a souped-up cart.

He went from struggling to stylish.

via Beaverton School District

Julian Worsham gets a new cart.

Six-year-old Julian Worsham of Beaverton, Oregon is like a lot of other first-graders: he loves Super Mario and Taekwondo. But he has achondroplasia, the most common form of dwarfism, and goes to a school that wasn't built for kids his height.

"He's born into a world that just, in some ways, is not built for him," Julian's father, Brett, told WHAS11.

His mother did a walk-through before his first day at school to make sure he wouldn't run into any problems because of his height but forgot to check the cafeteria. [We] "noticed that where the food was, was right at his head," Heather told the Beaverton School District. Then, to make things more of a struggle, he had to carry his tray outside to the lunch benches.

The school made him a makeshift cart out of an upside-down milk crate on wheels to help him transport his lunch from the cafeteria to the benches.

"When I saw it I thought, 'Wow,'" said Enedelia Mottram, who's served lunch for the school district for 18 years. "I just wanted to help Julian, because I mean his head barely reaches the lunch line. He can't see anything."

Julian's first cart wasn't cutting the mustard.

via Beaverton School District

That night, she talked to her husband, James, a metalworker, to see if he could come up with something better. He got his team together at Wright Manufacturing in Portland to create a new cart that allowed Julian to transport his lunch tray and see over the counter.

James told the Beaverton School District that he wanted to make something that Julian would be "proud to push around."

James and his team put together a badass cart with adjustable, handlebar grips just like a motorcycle that has a stool inside so he can reach the countertop. It is adorned with flames and a personalized license plate that says, "JULIAN."

Julian's parents were blown away by the care and creativity that was put into creating his cart.

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"They took the time to get those license plates with his name, which is just like, they just really put a lot of heart into it. So when I saw it, the first thing I saw was actually a picture of James and his team who made the cart and I cried. It's just such a sweet thing," Heather said.

Julian loves the license plate and the flames and is now able to grab his lunch and get out to the benches in style.

"He's independent now," said Mottram. "Before, a staff member [would] have to be there to help him," she said.

Heather hopes that the story will inspire others to reach out and help other people in need.

"There's just wonderful people in this world that, you know, they have their eyes open. They're seeing needs that need to be met and they're meeting them. So I hope that other kids can get their needs met through this," she said.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Family

Woman who was pressured to quit her job to raise stepdaughter's baby makes a bold decision

This sparked an important conversation about family responsibility.

via Pixabay

When parents can't step up, should grandparents step in?

A story that recently went viral on Reddit’s AITA forum asks an important question: What is a parent’s role in taking care of their grandchildren? The story is even further complicated because the woman at the center of the controversy is a stepparent.

At the time of writing her post, the woman, 38, met her husband Sam, 47, ten years ago, when his daughter, Leah, 25, was 15. The couple married five years ago after Leah had moved out to go to college.

Leah’s mom passed away when she was 10.

When Leah became pregnant she wanted to keep the baby, but her boyfriend didn’t. After the disagreement, the boyfriend broke up with her. This forced Leah to move back home because she couldn’t afford to be a single parent and live alone on a teacher’s salary.

Leah’s story is familiar to many young mothers facing similar difficulties.

The father isn’t involved in the baby’s life as a caretaker or financially. Sadly, research shows that 33% of all children in the U.S. are born without their biological fathers living in the home.

a young mother holds her baby

Single motherhood comes with unique hardships.

via Alexander Grey/Unsplash

The new mother is a teacher and can’t afford to live on her own with a child. In 2019, a study found that out the top 50 U.S. cities, Pittsburgh is the only one where a new teacher could afford rent.

Today, Portland, OR has joined the very short list of cities where an "average teacher can afford 91.3% of apartments within community distance of their school" according to a recent study.

The stressors of taking care of the baby made Leah realize she needed help.

“But once she had the baby around 4 months back, Leah seemed to realize having a baby is not the sunshine and rainbows she thought it was,” the woman wrote on Reddit. “She barely got any sleep during the last four months. All the while Sam was helping her with the baby while I did almost all chores myself.”

“Now her leave is ending. She did not want to leave the baby at daycare or with a nanny,” the woman continued. “Sam and I both work as well.”

Leah asked her stepmother if she would stay home with the baby. The stepmother said no because she never wanted to have a baby and she has a job. “I asked why Leah can't stay home with the baby herself,” the woman wrote. “She said how she was young and had to build a career. I said many people take breaks to raise kids, and she broke down crying about how she was so tired all the time being a mom and needed something else in her life too.”

A woman holds a newborn baby.

The demands of new motherhood are usually all-encompassing.

via Pixabay

After the woman told her stepdaughter no, her husband pressured her to stay home with the baby. But she refused to give up her job to raise her stepdaughter’s child. “Leah said yesterday how she wished her mom was alive since she would have had her back. She said I didn't love her, and my husband is also mad at me,” the woman wrote. The woman asked the Reddit community if she was in the wrong for “refusing to help my stepdaughter with the baby,” and the community responded with rapturous support.

"[The woman] should tell her husband to knock it off and stop trying to pressure her into raising his daughter’s baby. If he wants a family member to look after her baby while she works, then he can do it," user Heavy_Sand5228 wrote.

"This is Leah's baby that she alone chose to have. That doesn't obligate you to change YOUR life to suit her desires. The whole business of saying you don't love her because you won't quit your job to watch her baby is manipulative and messed up, and I'm shocked your husband is siding with her," user SupremeCourtJust-a** added.

Leah and many women like her are in this situation because, in many places, teachers are underpaid, rent is high, and not all dads pay child support, even those required by law.

Another commenter noted that the baby is much more the father’s responsibility than the stepmother's. "To add, Leah should consider seeking child support from her ex. Her kid should be getting that money," Obiterdicta wrote.

While there are resources to help stepparents connect with their stepchildren and step-grandchildren, it's important to remember that the responsibility to raise a child ultimately rests with the parent(s).

This article originally appeared last year.

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Pets

Golden Retriever with peak good boy energy can't stop snuggling with strangers on a train

Can't stop, won't stop.

Photo by Andrew Spencer on Unsplash

Golden Retrievers are the ultimate good doggos.

If there's any dog breed that encapsulates "good doggo" energy, it's the Golden Retriever. Friendly, gentle, good-natured and oh-so-affectionate, Goldens have come by their reputation honestly. Even "I'm not a dog person" people tend to find themselves taken by Golden Retrievers, and a post on TikTok demonstrates why. The video shared by @hugoandursula is captioned "my dog getting cuddles from strangers on the train," and that's exactly what it shows in the most adorable montage ever.

In clip after clip, the sweet pup snuggles into unsuspecting train passengers, winning hearts and evoking "awwwws" left and right. (If you're on the fence about getting a dog, be careful watching this video because it will catapult you right over the edge.)

@hugoandursula

Melts my heart 🥰🥰🥰🥰 #goldenretriever

The video has been shared multiple times since it was first posted in January of 2023, and every time, people can't get enough of it. In March of 2024, it was posted in the r/mademesmile subreddit, and people poured all the Golden Retriever love into the comments.

"Golden's love attention.. our Daisy would politely walk around the benches at softball and stop for anyone who expressed an interest in petting her. She was never rude, just wanted to meet new people and show some love while getting some." – michaeldpj

"They are the most 'hi i’m in the room look at me i'm here' dogs i’ve ever met." – botjstn

"I would ride in trains much more often if I was guaranteed to see an adorably squashed doggy nose in front of me. It's delightful." – Designer-Command1417

"The look on the woman's face when the dog snuggles up her is worth a billion dollars!" – Ok-Sale-8105

Reddit users were also thrilled when a "Schnoodle" appeared in the comments. A Schnoodle on social media is a cheesily heartwarming poem from u/schnoodledoodledo, written from the point-of-view of an animal, and the Schnoodle for our Golden train-riding friend here is perfectly fitting.

Look at me - the Traveler! i get to come along

being with my human is the place that i belong ;@)

am friendly with the passengers, n try n spread the JoY!

(they’re frens i haven’t met yet,

n they tell me i’m Good Boy)

so i will find an empty seat, n sit with them awhile

i get aLot of scritches, n i leave them with a smile

am tired from the journey, but i know i did my part

to leave a golden memory

inside their human heart

"FRESHEST SCHNOODLE!!" wrote one commenter, followed by "OMG a schnoodle!! I haven’t seen one in over a year. I thought they had disappeared! This has made my day!" and "Starting the day with a fresh schnoodle for brunch is highly recommended!!!"

For an extended version of one of these good doggo love fests, check out another video from @hugoandursula:

@hugoandursula

Hux making more friends..🥺💕

Again, so much love in the comments.

"Are you telling me a stranger got on the train and received all this love for free?!?!" – kirstygu

"I don’t care where that train is going I’m buying a ticket 🥺" – Angharad

"Did he cry before parting ways? I would be bawling" – Melanin. Queen

"I've never been more jealous of a person before in my life." – Carrie Thompson

One thing's for certain—if the train system wants to encourage more riders, all they need to do is get a Golden Retriever to welcome their passengers. They'd fill up those seats in no time.


This article originally appeared in March.

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Pop Culture

Unearthed video shows Tom Jones singing with Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, leaving them in awe

In 1969, it was an unlikely pairing, to say the least.

via eBayItem/WikimediaCommons

Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young perform in 1970.

Nineteen-sixty-nine was a pivotal year in American culture. The hippies and the counterculture were ascendant, and everything that came before in entertainment was as square as can be.

In cinema, there was the world before and after 1969’s “Easy Rider.” In music, the Woodstock Music and Arts Fair was a defining moment for the new era, and on television, the anti-establishment “Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour” divided households over its anti-war stance.

In September of that year, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young (CSN&Y) were asked to play a duet with Welsh singer Tom Jones on his television show and the pairing was a perfect example of the culture clash. Jones was famous for his hit songs “It’s Not Unusual” and “What’s New Pussycat?” and was adept at dodging panties being thrown at him by the adoring ladies in the audience.

CSN&Y had just played Woodstock and were known for the anti-war anthem “Wooden Ships” and “Long Time Gone” about the assassination of Robert Kennedy.

For the performance, Jones and CSN&Y played a rendition of “Long Time Gone,” and what’s impressive is that Jones does not hold back and forced the rest of the band to keep up. Steven Stills, on electric piano, tries his best to match Jones’ bravado on his lines but falls short.

David Crosby has a look on his face of pure awe when he looks at Jones (although he was known for being in "awe" quite often in the days).

Throughout the performance, the hard-to-impress Neil Young seemingly goes from a look of pure disdain to “This rocks.” The performance is an excellent example of music's ability to bridge cultural divides and bring people together.

This article originally appeared in February.

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