Parents applaud a 'hot mess mom' for accurately documenting the chaos of parenting
Every parent has been there.

There is no time for the perfect mom to be perfect... take it or leave it.
Every parent has been there.
The sink is overflowing with dishes. Legos cover the entire floor, piercing your foot every time you take a step. And you suddenly realize that you've made the kids chicken nuggets and mac n' cheese five nights in a row.
Every parent has moments where it all seems to be spinning out of control.
But this isn't momentary chaos. It doesn't mean everything is unraveling. Turns out this might just be a normal part of parenting.
Mom and blogger Danielle Silverstein made an "admission" on Facebook: "I really AM a hot-mess mom."
The post, on her page called Where the Eff is My Handbook?, detailed a seemingly never-ending list of the ways in which her household is in utter shambles.
"Never once have I thought to myself, 'OMG, I think I’m actually tackling this whole parenthood thing,'" she wrote.
She continued:
"I am that mom who doesn’t do dishes at night before I go to bed. I do dishes when I get around to doing dishes.
I’m that mom who grabs her kids’ clothes out of the dryer in the morning because nothing is folded and put away.
I’m that mom who forgets to send in forms and gets calls reminding me that, yes, I need to send in those forms.
I’m that mom who forgets to RSVP and gets a last minute text asking if my kid is coming to the party.
I’m that mom who packs a crazy, one-food-group lunch because I haven’t gotten around to going food shopping.
I’m that mom who lets her kids have endless screen time sometimes (ok, more than sometimes) just because I don’t feel like fighting and need to get a few things done."
You can read the entire hilarious and all-too-familiar post below:
Ok, full disclosure: I really AM a hot-mess mom.I am consistently five steps behind where I should be in the world of...
Posted by Where The Eff Is My Handbook on Thursday, January 25, 2018
Near the end of the now super-viral post, Silverstein reaches an important realization.
"Do I think I’m a good mom? Yeah, I really do. But I don’t have it all together by any stretch of the imagination," she writes. "And that’s ok, I’m realizing."
Because, despite the overflowing sink and the overdue paperwork, raising happy, healthy kids is what it's really all about:
"I’m also that mom whose kids are safe.
I’m also that mom whose kids are, for the most part, happy.
I’m also that mom whose home has lots of love and laughter.
I’m also that mom who cheers on her kids and is their biggest fan.
I’m also that mom who is constantly working to show her kids they are accepted no matter what.
I’m also that mom who takes her kids to do cool stuff and have great experiences.
I’m also that mom who loves being a mom."
The post has racked up thousands of shares and comments from other parents who want to say, "YES! THANK YOU!"
The truth is that it's never been harder to be a parent. All the usual stuff is still there — the dirty diapers, the tantrums, the picky eaters — but in the age of social media, when every other parent seems to be totally nailing it, the pressure to be "perfect" has never been higher.
Silverstein says enough is enough.
"We don’t deserve to feel down on ourselves," she writes in a Facebook message. "We deserve to feel celebrated. Our job is damn hard."
(That's not an excuse to not try, never feed your kids a single vegetable, or let them get away with whatever they want! But if you have some off-days, you're forgiven.)
We need less carefully filtered Instagrams and more brutal honesty. Silverstein's post was a much-needed rallying cry for moms she calls "hot messes," but in reality are just overworked and under-appreciated.
So let's all raise a glass (or a haphazardly washed sippy cup) to all the parents out there barely holding it together. This one's for you.
This article originally appeared on 01.31.18
12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.