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Family

'If we dismissed everyone the way we dismiss moms' video hits home, but not just for moms

Phew, this is eye-opening.

screenshots of facebook reel with woman acting out scene
My Kinda Mum/Facebook

Mom acts out scenes that flip the script on dismissing moms who vent.

Sometimes it feels like moms can't win. We're supposed to give our all for our kids, sacrifice ourselves for motherhood, fulfill the various responsibilities of child-rearing, and do it all under two unwritten but well-understood rules: 1) Never mess it up, and 2) Never complain.

It's the second rule that feels particularly cruel since the first rule simply isn't possible anyway. (Moms mess up motherhood all the time, even if we don't admit it.) But when we vent about the hard parts, the response is often dismissal, as if we don't have the right to complain or as if doing so means we're not grateful to have our kids.

A viral video from My Kinda Mum illustrates the absurdity of the way people respond to mom complaints with a little script-flipping roleplay.

The video opens with a man coming home and complaining about traffic, only to be met with "Well if you didn't want to deal with traffic, you shouldn't have learned how to drive." And when he tries to explain that he likes driving, but sometimes it's annoying when traffic gets bad, the response is "Your choice. Live with it."

Sounds silly, right? But moms are told that all the time when we dare to point out parts of motherhood that are frustrating.

Next up comes a business owner who won an award for "Start-up of the Year," who mentions that it's been hard work with all the drama of managing people. "If you didn't want to manage a business, you shouldn't have started one," is the response, which of course, no one ever actually says to business owners when they vent about parts of their work because it sounds…well, ridiculous and dismissive.

Watch the various scenarios that look downright silly but reflect the kinds of responses moms get frequently.

Watch the video below: 

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Many moms in the comments felt seen.

"Love this 👌 couldn't believe my ears when I was told it was your choice to have kids 🤦.. yes and they're my world but once in a blue moon I still need a tiny bit of me time," wrote one commenter.

"This is 100% spot on. Thank you for making this video. Single mom here so this hits hard sometimes," wrote another.

"This is how my siblings talk to me," shared another. "Like I absolutely love my kids, I wanted to be a mom. None of that changes because I'm having a difficult time."

But it wasn't just moms who saw themselves in this video. Several people in service jobs said they also get that kind of dismissal of their experience whenever they share struggles.

"It's happened to me as a nurse too. I've heard this soooo many times, especially during COVID," wrote one commenter.

"Same for teachers," wrote another. "'You chose it. You knew the salary. You have summers off. Do it for the children.' Being a mom is hard. I hate comments like these to anyone!"

"I'm a teacher and my ex used to dismiss and invalidate my tiredness at the end of each day like this all the time," shared another. "Kids are hard work. We teachers get it. Hats off to all the mums and teachers in the world!"

Dismissing anyone's difficulties when they share them is unkind. Just because someone is letting off steam about some aspect of their work doesn't mean those difficulties weren't expected or that they don't love what they do. Let's practice letting people vent without making them feel like they don't have a right to complain. We all deserve the space to share our struggles and the grace to not be judged for them.

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Science

Researchers dumped tons of coffee waste into a forest. This is what it looks like now.

30 dump truck loads and two years later, the forest looks totally different.

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One of the biggest problems with coffee production is that it generates an incredible amount of waste. Once coffee beans are separated from cherries, about 45% of the entire biomass is discarded.

So for every pound of roasted coffee we enjoy, an equivalent amount of coffee pulp is discarded into massive landfills across the globe. That means that approximately 10 million tons of coffee pulp is discarded into the environment every year.


When disposed of improperly, the waste can cause serious damage soil and water sources.

However, a new study published in the British Ecological Society journal Ecological Solutions and Evidence has found that coffee pulp isn't just a nuisance to be discarded. It can have an incredibly positive impact on regrowing deforested areas of the planet.

via British Ecological Society

In 2018, researchers from ETH-Zurich and the University of Hawaii spread 30 dump trucks worth of coffee pulp over a roughly 100' x 130' area of degraded land in Costa Rica. The experiment took place on a former coffee farm that underwent rapid deforestation in the 1950s.

The coffee pulp was spread three-feet thick over the entire area.

Another plot of land near the coffee pulp dump was left alone to act as a control for the experiment.

"The results were dramatic." Dr. Rebecca Cole, lead author of the study, said. "The area treated with a thick layer of coffee pulp turned into a small forest in only two years while the control plot remained dominated by non-native pasture grasses."

In just two years, the area treated with coffee pulp had an 80% canopy cover, compared to just 20% of the control area. So, the coffee-pulp-treated area grew four times more rapidly. Like a jolt of caffeine, it reinvigorated biological activity in the area.

The canopy was also four times taller than that of the control.

Before and after images of the forest

The forest experienced a radical, positive change

via British Ecological Society

The coffee-treated area also eliminated an invasive species of grass that took over the land and prevented forest succession. Its elimination allowed for other native species to take over and recolonize the area.

"This case study suggests that agricultural by-products can be used to speed up forest recovery on degraded tropical lands. In situations where processing these by-products incurs a cost to agricultural industries, using them for restoration to meet global reforestation objectives can represent a 'win-win' scenario," Dr. Cole said.

If the results are repeatable it's a win-win for coffee drinkers and the environment.

Researchers believe that coffee treatments can be a cost-effective way to reforest degraded land. They may also work to reverse the effects of climate change by supporting the growth of forests across the globe.

The 2016 Paris Agreement made reforestation an important part of the fight against climate change. The agreement incentivizes developing countries to reduce deforestation and forest degradation, promote forest conservation and sustainable management, and enhance forest carbon stocks in developing countries.

"We hope our study is a jumping off point for other researchers and industries to take a look at how they might make their production more efficient by creating links to the global restoration movement," Dr. Cole said.


This article originally appeared on 03.29.21

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Joy

15-year-old surprises his sister with a wedding dance and there's not a dry eye anywhere

The song starts with a recording of them singing together as children.

Avery Albrecht/TikTok

The beautiful bond of brother and sister

Weddings are often catalysts for happy tears, but sometimes an extra special moment or gesture pushes it into "everybody grab a tissue" territory.

This video is one of those. Don't say we didn't warn ya.

Avery Albrecht shared a clip from her wedding reception in which her baby brother asked her for a dance. But Albrecht had no idea what kind of surprise the 15-year-old and her parents had in store for her. As the music begins, we hear children's voices singing—the two of them singing Phil Collins' "You'll Be in My Heart" together as children. And then the real song begins, with the bride and her brother—along with everyone watching—in a puddle.

Watch all the way to the end:

"There wasn't a dry eye in the house," Albrecht shared. There doesn't appear to be a dry eye on the internet, either.

"Stop it!! It’s 4 am in Sydney, and I'm a 43-year-old man sobbing while hiding under a blanket with my wife and 2 kids on the same bed, 😭" shared one person. "Family is the most important precious thing in the world!! ❤️"

"I went from cracking up about a stupid Hello Kitty video to sobbing in under three minutes. That must be so confusing to my central nervous system," shared another.

"I have to stop watching these things at work… people are thinking I am depressed, 😂" wrote another.

Some people shared how much it reminded them of their close sibling relationships:

"One of the most beautiful things I’ve seen. And being a much older big sister of littles (not little anymore by a long shot), I know the exact place this came from."

"I don’t know if she’ll read this but sweetheart you are so lucky! Please give your baby brother a hug for me. I lost my little brother 19 years ago this past June while I was pregnant with my first born son. I named him after him. And miss him so very much. 😢❤️"

"My little brother had a severe case of cerebral palsy and Down syndrome. He’s gone, but as I am watching this video, I can’t stop wondering what my life would be if he was healthy and still around… same about my older sister, who had also passed away. Crying my heart out now."

"Awwwwwwwe! The sweetest! You can tell how close you both are! Me and my sister are 12 years apart and she got married when I was 12 and she moved out and I had THE HARDEST time and cried almost everyday for a month!! ! I still would go over to her house and spend the night all the time… and then when she had children I became the built in babysitter for my nieces and nephew (also my fave ppl on the planet) She’s always was and still my very best friend. ♥️♥️"

Here's to the beautiful bond siblings can share, the families that nurture those bonds and this sweet brother-sister pair who gave us all the cleansing cry we needed.

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Family

Naming twins is an art. Here are some twin names people say are the best they've ever heard.

With twins, all the regular pressures of having a baby are doubled, including choosing a name.

Photo credit: Canva

Are you in favor of rhyming twin names? Or is it too cutesy?

Having twins means double the fun, and double the pressure. It’s a fairly known rule to name twins in a way that honors their unique bond, but that can lead to overly cutesy pairings that feel more appropriate for nursery rhyme characters than actual people. Plus, it’s equally important for the names to acknowledge each twin’s individuality. Again, these are people—not a matching set of dolls. Finding the twin baby name balance is easier said than done, for sure.

Luckily, there are several ways to do this. Names can be linked by style, sound or meaning, according to the baby name website Nameberry. For example, two names that share a classic style would be Elizabeth and Edward, whereas Ione and Lionel share a similar rhythm. And Frederica and Milo seem to share nothing in common, but both mean “peaceful.”

Over on the /NameNerds subreddit, one person asked folks to share their favorite twin name pairings, and the answers did not disappoint.

One person wrote “Honestly, for me it’s hard to beat the Rugrats combo of Phillip and Lillian (Phil and Lil) 💕”

A few parents who gave their twin’s names that didn’t inherently rhyme until nicknames got involved:

"It's the perfect way! Christmas cards can be signed cutely with matching names, but when they act out you can still use their full name without getting tripped up.😂"

"The parents of a good friend of mine did this: her name is Allison and her sister is Callie. Their names don’t match on the surface, but they were Alli and Callie at home."

“Alice and Celia, because they’re anagrams! Sound super different but have a not-so-obvious implicit connection.”

This incited an avalanche of other anagram ideas: Aidan and Nadia, Lucas and Claus, Liam and Mila, Noel and Leon, Ira and Ria, Amy and May, Ira and Ari, Cole and Cleo…even Alice, Celia, and Lacie for triplets.

Others remembered name pairs that managed to sound lovely together without going into cutesy territory.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesThese matching bunny ears though. Photo credit: Canva

“I know twin toddler boys named Charlie and Archie and they go so well together,” one person commented.

Another wrote, “Tamia and Aziza. I love how they follow the same sound pattern with the syllable endings (-uh, -ee, -uh) without being obnoxiously matchy matchy.”

Still another said, “Lucy and Logan, fraternal girl/boy twins. I think the names sound so nice together, and definitely have the same 'vibe' and even though they have the same first letter they aren't too matchy-matchy.”

Other honorable mentions included: Colton and Calista, Caitlin and Carson, Amaya and Ameera, Alora and Luella, River and Rosie, and Eleanor and Elias.

One person cast a vote for shared style names, saying, “If I had twins, I would honestly just pick two different names that I like separately. I tend to like classic names, so I’d probably pick Daniel and Benjamin for boys. For girls my two favorites right now are Valerie and Tessa. I think Val and Tess would be cute together!”

Overall though, it seems that most folks were fans of names that focused on shared meaning over shared sound. Even better if there’s a literary or movie reference thrown in there.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesMany adult twins regret that their names are so closely linked together. Photo credit: Canva

“My mom works in insurance, so I asked her. She’s seen a lot of unique ones, but the only twins she remembers are Gwenivere [sic] and Lancelot... bonus points... little brother was Merlin,” one person recalled.

Another shared, “If I had twin girls, I would name them Ada and Hedy for Ada Lovelace and Hedy Lamarr, both very early computer/tech pioneers. Not that I’m that into tech, I just thought it was a brilliant combination.”

Other great ones: Susan and Sharon (think the original “Parent Trap”), Clementine and Cara (types of oranges), Esme and Etienne (French descent), Luna and Stella (moon and stars), Dawn and Eve, plus various plant pairings like Lily and Fern, Heather and Holly, and Juniper and Laurel.

Perhaps the cleverest name pairing goes to “Aubrey and Zoe,” since…wait for it… “they’re A to Z.”

It’s easy to see how naming twins really is a cool opportunity for parents to get creative and intentional with their baby naming. It might be a challenge, sure, but the potential reward is having the most iconic set of twins ever. Totally worth it!

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Family

Daughter fulfills mom's dying wish of helping her pick the perfect wedding dress

They even made up a fiancé to make it happen.

Photo credit: Canva

Sometimes our happiest memories have a dash of sadness to them.

It was Amy Astrauskas’ dying wish was to see her daughter Emily Elizabeth Creighton in a wedding dress.

Though Creighton had no wedding plans on the horizon, she was able to help that dream come true for her mom—and managed to capture the touching moment on camera.

In a video posted to her Instagram, Creighton explained that her mom actually called a nearby bridal and lied, saying her daughter was getting married, which Creighton joked was “such a savage move.”

As they sipped champagne and answered “a million questions” about this made-up fiancé, Creighton tried on dress after dress, each more gorgeous than the last. The joy felt in the clip is palpable, to say the least.

Finally, they did indeed find the one. And it’s on hold for when and if Creighton decides to tie the knot.

“Honestly one of the funniest and saddest moments of my life,” she said “But now, even though she’s gone, I get to say she helped me to pick out my wedding dress.”

People were, understandably, moved by the entire thing.

“What a beautiful story! I’m sure it was one of the best days of her life ❤️❤️,” one person wrote.

Another added, “Wow that’s beautiful and sad and just sums up life. ❤️”

A few even shared their own similar stories.

“I was a bridal consultant and this happened. But I knew it was her dying wish, and we did a whole bridal photo session. She ended up buying it and got married a couple of years later in that dress. One of my proudest moments as a consultant.,” one person commented.

“Me and my sweet Mumma did the same when she was dying. It’s one of my most precious memories. I have a video of her saying ‘we said yes to the dress!’ No dress was purchased 😂 I am so sorry for your loss but so happy you also shared this beautiful memory with your darling mum 🥰” wrote another.

In an interview with Today, Creighton shared that even though her mom (who died of breast cancer on March 2021 at age 63) will no longer be around to actually see the wedding, it will have all the other details she had previously conjured up. All except one tiny thing.

“The only thing that has changed is, my mom thought the person at the end of the aisle would be a man!” Creighton quipped, since she came out as gay in 2022. Still, she knows her mom would have been “totally fine with it.”

“All my mom ever wanted was for me to be happy."

What a beautiful reminder to truly savor whatever time we have on this Earth with the people who matter the most.

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Pop Culture

Man depicts what it's like to road trip with an Xennial. There are no lies detected.

His song choices make for an epic playlist.

Photo credit: Canva

Man shows what it's like to road trip with an Xennial. It's epic.

Being an Xennial is like being everywhere and nowhere at the same time. This group of people are too young to be Gen X but feel too old to be millennials. They're designated as a microgeneration, though they're constantly lumped in with millennials, hence how they got the name "Xennial." But it's this distinct characteristic that has resulted in Xennials having the some of the most eclectic music tastes out there.

Nick Harrison posted a video on social media showing what it's like to road trip with an Xennial and it's an entire vibe. The man starts the video in the car off strong jamming to "September" by Earth, Wind & Fire. The music quickly changes to "The Next Episode" by Dr. Dre causing Harrison to switch up his dance moves.

It's a cornucopia of songs that make up multiple generations of popular music and as an Xennial, he's grooving to them all, calling himself "polyjamorous." He's not alone either. The comments are full of people that knew every word, agreeing that road tripping with an Xennial is a unique experience that includes lots of seat dancing and fun.


@mrprofessor318 All over the place #genx #millennial #xennial #polyjamorous #WeRockTogether @DJ EmJaybeats ♬ original sound - DJ EmJaybeats

"YESSS!!! I also love Doja Cat and Harry Styles. I’ve said Xennials have the most rich and diverse exposure and taste in music in all of history!! I stand on that! We are unlike any other gen," someone says.

"And this is why my child has superior taste in music," another writes.

"Xennial here. Literally all of these are in my main playlist. lol," one person laughs at the realization.

"4010% correct. I’m pretty sure I have a playlist with every single one of these songs on it," another person admits.

"These are all on my 'road trip' mix. Constantly updated and perpetually giving whiplash," a commenter shares along with the universal sign for rock-and-roll.

The Xennials are living their best life through Harrison's road trip playlist with many of them asking him to share his playlist so they can easily download it. Guaranteed most of the people watching his video had "Love Shack" by the B-52's stuck in their heads for the rest of the day. Party on, Nick!

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