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Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard open up about being attracted to other people - and why that's OK

In a relationship, it can be a little uncomfortable when a super attractive person comes on the TV. Maybe a beautiful actress or a handsome athlete. How couples handle these moments can actually tell you a lot about them and their relationship. Do they talk about it? Squirm in silence?

One of the ways to tell if you're in a healthy relationship is whether you and your partner are free to talk about other people you find attractive. For many couples, bringing up such a sensitive topic can cause some major jealousy.

dax shepard, kristen bell, celebrity couples, frozen, armchair expert, marriage, marriage advice, couples therapy, relationship tips OK, maybe don't do this around your partner. Or ever. Giphy

Of course, there's a healthy way to approach such a potentially dangerous topic. Telling your partner you find someone else attractive shouldn't be about making them feel jealous. It's probably also best that if you're attracted to a coworker, friend, or their sibling, that you keep it to yourself.

But, being open about your sexual feelings, can be a way to spice things up in the bedroom and to let your partner know what you like.

Actress and mental health advocate Kristen Bell admits that she and her husband, actor Dax Shepard, have learned how to be open about their attraction to other people.


dax shepard, kristen bell, celebrity couples, frozen, armchair expert, marriage, marriage advice, couples therapy, relationship tips Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard are one of the most relatable couples in Hollywood.By MingleMediaTVNetwork - Kristen Bell, CC BY-SA 2.0

The couple believes that being able to talk about such taboo topics without making each other jealous is a great way to preserve their relationship.

"He can tell me someone he finds attractive, female or male, 'cause he pauses the Olympics on a lot of runners, but it doesn't make me feel like he's going to leave me for that person because I'm not allowing my self-esteem to be affected," she explained.

Bell believes that it's completely normal and healthy for people in monogamous relationships to be attracted to other people.

"I know there are people on planet Earth that are more attractive than me, and well, we're not dead. I have to acknowledge we're monkeys," Bell said. As an attractive, famous couple working in Hollywood, there is extra pressure for them to be able to handle their jealousy.

Some couples might choose to keep their attraction to others a little closer to the vest, and that's OK, too. But if you feel like you have to lie or pretend that no one else on the planet is good looking, well, your relationship may have some communication issues to examine.

The couple has also done a good job at accepting the fact that Bell is the primary bread-winner in the family. Studies show men have higher levels of stress if their wives earn more than 40% of their home's combined income.

About a third of women in the U.S. make more than their husbands.

While Shepard has had a successful career, acting in films such as "Idiocracy" and "Without a Paddle," Bell has starred in some major hits including, "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" and the "Bad Moms" films.

She's also made a pretty penny voicing Princess Anna in Disney's "Frozen" franchise. Shephard's work on his successful podcast "Armchair Expert" has no doubt been a big boon for their family, but come on: Bell's got Disney money!

dax shepard, kristen bell, celebrity couples, frozen, armchair expert, marriage, marriage advice, couples therapy, relationship tips Kristen Bell plays Anna in Frozen, so her career has been going OK. Giphy

"I think I've always out-earned him," Bell said about their careers. "I got a lot of opportunity, you're sharing in it, we're able to provide for a ton of our family members who may or may not be struggling," she continued, as if addressing Shepard. "I don't look at it like, 'This is mine and this is yours.' I'm like, 'This is ours. Get over it.'"

Bell and Shepard have also worked through his very public battles with addiction, including a relapse after a motorcycle accident in 2020. FHE Health writes, "Bell shared [at the time] that Dax was forthcoming with her about falling back into the desire to use and communicated that he wanted her help coming up with a new plan for how to keep him sober."

Bell believes that the couple's ability to get over petty jealousy is one way to make sure their unique relationship stands the test of time. But it's not just about suppressing jealousy. It's about open, honest communication; even when it's hard or uncomfortable. That, truly, is one of the bedrocks of a successful marriage.

"Do you want to be on the porch with someone when you're 80?" Bell asked. "We both want that."

No one knows the inner workings of anyone else's relationship, of course, but from the outside, Bell and Shepard sure seem like great role models for how to keep love alive in a longterm marriage.

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.


Image via Canva

A dad went out for coffee and his wife named their newborn baby

Most people believe that both parents have an equal right to choose their baby’s name and that it should result from an agreement between both parties. That doesn't mean it’s always easy for both people to agree on the same name, but look, if you’re going to be a successful parent, you must know how to make compromises occasionally. Starting the job with your heels dug in does not bode well for anyone.

That’s why the following story is interesting. It shows what happens when a mother decides she can make the decision all by herself and what the fallout is like when her husband and his family find out. The story was recently shared on social media, and the commenters were shocked that she wasn’t sure if she was in the wrong.

"So, my (32F) husband (33M) and I just had our first baby girl a couple of weeks ago,” she begins the story. “We’d been going back and forth on names during my entire pregnancy. I really wanted to name her Eleanor after my late grandmother, who basically raised me when my parents weren’t around. She was my hero, and losing her last year was devastating. Honoring her felt deeply important.”

A man and woman sit on a bed facing away from each other A husband and wife disagree over the naming of their newborn babyImage via Canva

The woman’s husband preferred modern names such as Nova or Ember, which the mother just “couldn’t connect with,” so they never compromised.

“On the day our daughter was born, while my husband stepped out to grab coffee, a nurse asked if we had a name for the birth certificate. I know I should have waited, but I was emotional and felt this rush of conviction. I just blurted out, ‘Eleanor.’”

When the husband returned with the coffee, he was “furious.”

“He said I’d blindsided him, robbed him of having a say, and that our daughter would hate her 'old lady' name. His family is also calling me manipulative. I feel terrible about the timing and how it all went down, but it’s not like we hadn’t discussed Eleanor before. I just feel like I honored a name that truly mattered to me when he wouldn’t budge.”

The mother asked the commenters if the father was overreacting because “we couldn’t find common ground.”

A frustrated woman looks at her laptop with her hands covering her eyes The mom took to social media asking if she was in the wrongImage via Canva

The commenters overwhelmingly supported the father in the situation:

“You made a unilateral decision about your shared child,” the top commenter wrote. “You literally started her life by using her as a centerpiece for conflict with your husband. You also isolated her from your husband during the first major decision regarding her. What a terrible way to start her life.”

“‘…it’s not like we hadn’t discussed Eleanor before.’ You discussed it and he said no. Personally, I think the name Eleanor is lovely, but that’s not the issue,” another commenter noted. “You unilaterally made a decision —a decision a you knew your husband disagreed with—about your—both of your—child. Your giving birth doesn’t make this child any less his. Your husband and his family are absolutely right. You blindsided him."

However, a few commenters believed whoever birthed the child had the right to pick the name, even if the father disagreed:

“This might be the only daughter you have and if he can’t make it meaningful for you when you just risked your life for this baby and let you have the win then idk,” one of the few supporters of the mother wrote. ”I would let him pick the middle name. Trendy names are overrated.”


A pregnant woman and a man point fingers at each other People took the side of the father when asked to commentImage via Canva

The woman who posted her story has yet to follow up and share what happened next, but let’s hope she took the commenters’ advice and apologized to her husband and changed the baby's name. Most agree that it's not fair for him to call his daughter a name he doesn’t like for the rest of their lives and it will always be a sore spot in their relationship. It’s best to bring a child into a family where everyone is on the same page and agrees on the things that matter most.

This article originally appeared last year.

Pop Culture

20 cute things couples do in secret because it would 'shock' anyone else who saw them

Apparently speaking in animal sounds is a forgotten love language.

Letting out your inner weirdo is an admirable relationship tier.

At some point in a long-term relationship—especially after you’re living together—there comes a time when all pretense is laid to the wayside. When regular closeness and new levels of comfortability allow both partners to really let out their fun, playful, messy, immature, and perhaps even a bit feral side that would otherwise stay dormant or hidden.

If you’re currently in a long term relationship and wonder if other couples are as weird with one another behind closed doors as you are, read on. Recently someone asked partners:

“What’s something you do in private that’s completely normal for you, but would probably shock your friends?”

Judging by these super cute, sweet, interesting, and ultimately very relatable answers, we can probably all assume that being weirdos is actually a sign of a very healthy relationship…even if we wouldn’t dare let anyone else see us that way.

Tons of couples shared about having their own language of sorts, especially those that involve animal sounds, apparently…

ask reddit, reddit, couples, relationships, marriage, partnership, living together, romance, intimacy “My wife and I HONK like geese. I use it for echo location but she uses it more as a summoning function.”Photo credit: Canva

“We have full conversations in ridiculous accents and once spent a whole day arguing in pirate voice without breaking character.”

“Sometimes we’ll be in different parts of the house and she’ll bark, and I’ll bark back and we’ll bark at each other for about 10 seconds before it goes back to silence, with no discussion involved.If we’re in the same room sometimes she’ll make a bark noise and I’ll look at her like HEY, no, shake finger this is a safe space.”

“My wife and I HONK like geese. I use it for echo location but she uses it more as a summoning function.”

“My ex and I would meow at each other. We’d have full non verbal conversations with each other by meowing.”

“My partner and I hiss at each other. A lot.I had a good laugh at my partner's expense last week, when he told me that he accidentally hissed at a coworker and had to explain why. He hissed at me in response, of course. As is the custom.”

“We have a hand signal for when we want to leave a social situation. Sometimes we’ll give it to each other from across the room or if it’s too obvious, the person who wants to leave will hold the other persons hand and do the signal inside their palm.Also, we regularly will pick food from a menu while out to dinner based on the knowledge that We will be swapping plates half way through lol”

And of course, many couples reported seeing the occasional jab as a way of saying “I love you…dummy.”

ask reddit, reddit, couples, relationships, marriage, partnership, living together, romance, intimacy “Our love language is roasting and insulting each other."Photo credit: Canva

“We get mean but try to be silly about it, but we KNOW we're joking. It would actually upset our oldest who has autism. He couldn't tell we were joking and we'd need to stop and reassure him. Eventually he got in on the joke and he'd start saying things like ‘guys! Not in front of my beef stew!’ Or whatever he had or was eating/doing.”

“Our love language is roasting and insulting each other. We have our own boundaries we don’t ever cross, but the very few times we’ve let it slip in front of others they’re always pretty shocked at how we speak.”

Others noted how physical intimacy now involved play, laughter, and a certain comfort with what might be considered a tad gross elsewhere. We’re not talking about sex here, but about the familiarity that comes from being in proximity over a long period of time.

ask reddit, reddit, couples, relationships, marriage, partnership, living together, romance, intimacy "It just makes sense if one of us walks near the other to lightly touch them.”Photo credit: Canva

“Fake wrestling before sleeping. We know for a fact I can't overpower him but it's a question of whether my flexibility can beat his strength. I always try to poke his butt with my big toe to defeat him.”

“We shower together, and afterwards she rubs lotion on me. It actually started because her sister said men don't know how to lotion, so I told her to show me. It's not sexual really, just quality time together.”

“A friend of ours pointed out that I had taken a slightly long route through the living room so I could lightly rub my fingertips across my GF's back as I walked by, the friend thought it was odd. I said I just wanted to let my GF know I was there…I have no real answer for it. It just makes sense if one of us walks near the other to lightly touch them.”

“She’ll spend up to an hour combing my entire body for white heads, black heads, and anything poppable on my skin, popping them. She enjoys it so much that I've had to remind her to slow down as she'll accidentally cut me with her nails.”

“We race to slap the other on the ass after sex and declare ‘good game.’”

The really sweet stuff came from couples who found little bonding rituals even within the mundane, and those who could actually claim their SO as their BFF. Sure, we might not want a romantic partner to be our end-all, be-all person. But at the same time, time and time again we see that the most successful couples are those who truly are friends.

ask reddit, reddit, couples, relationships, marriage, partnership, living together, romance, intimacy "Hubs and I do everything together as a team."Photo credit: Canva

“We cook a big artichoke for each of us in a pressure cooker and we add butter and lemon and we sit in bed and binge watch TV shows while eating our artichokes in silence. This is kind of our decompression routine that we do after stressful work days or busy weeks. It's really nice.”

“We read out loud to each other at night- short stories, magazine articles but usually longer books - historical fiction or even non fiction.”

“We have an imaginary roommate whom we blame for all the bad stuff (dishes left in sink, laundry on floor etc) instead of arguing about it with each other.”

“I was teased recently because hubs and I do everything together as a team. We grocery shop together, if a pipe breaks we work to fix it together, we do housework together. Not as a dependency, we just generally like being around each other and adulting is way more fun together than solo.”

“I like to grocery shop with my wife. We get chicken nuggets from the hot bar afterwards. 😀”

But by and large, the most common “shocking” thing that couples did was sleeping in separate beds. Which is kind of wild, given all the research we have indicating that it really does offer plenty of health benefits. If you’re still having reservations, take a peek at some of this anecdotal evidence below.

ask reddit, reddit, couples, relationships, marriage, partnership, living together, romance, intimacy “Having separate bedrooms is such a marriage/partner hack."Photo credit: Canva

“We do this. Everyone is happier. We sleep better which equates to less crankiness. We will have a ‘sleep over’ on weekends when we don't have to be up for work. We'll also snuggle in the morning if we both are up in time. It's a great set up.”

“Having separate bedrooms is such a marriage/partner hack. It also gives you independent space to retreat to, and you get to decorate your own space. We found it does not at all reduce intimacy. In fact it can increase it. But let me tell you. The judgement for this. Damn.”

Bottom line: everyone is weird. And maybe part of finding love is finding someone who lets you be your weirdest, most authentic self. If you have found that person, congrats, and take comfort in know that when no one is watching, other couples are out there being just as silly and carefree. What a beautiful thing.

Family

Woman's tongue-in-cheek 'Mom Libido 101' intimacy equation has some men seriously upset

"Wife went by that algorithm for 8 months. Our relationship has never been the same, and I resent her every day."

A man is discouraged and a woman does math.

One of the most significant challenges couples face after having kids is that it becomes a lot harder to maintain the same quality and quantity of sex that they had before the little one arrived. There are many reasons for this abrupt lifestyle change. It becomes harder to find time to have sex, privacy is even more elusive, parenting is exhausting, and a lot of times, sleep seems more exciting than being intimate. Adding to that, women go through a lot of physical and hormonal changes after having a child that may affect their libido.

A poll by Leesa found that couples have 47% less sex after having their first child, and that 61% of women and 30% of men reported less desire. Popular TikToker MaddieMu explained the math behind her decision to be intimate in a recent post, and it has some women applauding while many men are angry. Maddie is a mother of two who has "no filter" and claims to be the "mom friend you didn't know you needed until now.”

@maddiemu

hope this helps 🤭😌 #millenialmom #momhumor #honestmom #relatablemomlife

“Here's the basics of the formula: the amount she slept last night, plus how much food she's eaten today sitting down, times the amount of help her partner gave her divided by the annoying f**king comments, minus the number of times she was touched by her children today," Maddie said in her viral TikTok.

The math looks a bit like this: (sleep + food) x (help / annoying comments) - # of touches

Maddie also provided an example where things didn’t work out so well for her husband. “Let's say mom got eight hours of sleep last night, ate three full meals, her partner did pick up, and bath time, but he was really f**king annoying twice," she continued. "Then we have to subtract by the 1 thousand times that she was touched today. Does anyone know what the answer is? Not a f**king chance.”

Some women on TikTok thought they could perfect the equation with a few additions. "Also, don't forget minus 'How many times I've walked past the thing I asked you to take care of a week ago,'" one woman wrote. "Need one more section for the amount of decisions we had to make that day. Then you get definitely not a chance," another added.

Men were angry about the intimacy equation

On Instagram, there was a massive backlash from men who didn’t understand she was having fun at her husband's expense. "What if the partner did the dishes, fed the dogs, played with the kids, and took the kids away on a walk? Then also worked 8 hours making the sole income for the family and did all this while being kind to his wife, but she was still ungrateful," a man wrote on Instagram. "Wife went by that algorithm for 8 months. Our relationship has never been the same, and I resent her every day," another added.

sex, relationships, sex and marriage, intimacy, teacher, couple in bed A woman rejecting her husband.via Canva/Photos

Ultimately, even though Maddie appears to be having fun by turning her carnal instincts into a math equation, within the joke, there is a kernel of truth. A lot of women have been relegated to the role of default parent, which forces them to take the brunt of the physical and mental load of raising a family. A significant part of Maddie’s intimacy equation was “the amount of help her partner gave her,” which makes a simple yet important point. When people feel energized and supported by their partners, they’re much more likely to be excited by them in the bedroom.