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Family

Dad uses simple math trick to stop his 6-year-old's tantrums in their tracks

It works — and it's psychologist approved.

​man brushing daughter's hair
OPPO Find X5 Pro & Chris Liverani/Unsplash

Sometimes parenting tricks are deceptively simple.

Tantrums, meltdowns, and emotional outbursts are the bane of parents' existence.

Once they start, they're like a freight train. There seems to be almost no way to stop them other than staying calm and letting them run their course.

That is, until one dad on Reddit revealed his secret method.


A thread titled "Hack your youngster's big emotions with math" has every parent on Reddit saying, why didn't I think of that?

User u/WutTheHuck posted a simple comment on the subreddit r/daddit earlier this month.

"Heard about this recently - when your kid is having a meltdown, doing math engages a different part of their brain and helps them move past the big feelings and calm down," he writes.

"We've been doing this with our very emotional 6-yr-old, when she decides that she wants to cooperate - asking her a handful of simple addition and subtraction questions will very quickly allow her to get control of herself again and talk about her feelings."

So, basically, when the sobs and screams come on strong, having your kid tell you the answer to 3+3, or 10-7 is a good way to get them calm again, and fast.

OP goes on to call the technique "magical," and mentions that his 6-year-old is legendary in his household for her epic tantrums.

The unique trick became a popular post on the subreddit, with a few hundreds comments from dads who were intrigued and willing to give it a try.

A month later, the results are in. The math trick works wonders.

math problemsOK, we said SIMPLE mathAntoine Dautry/unsplash

What struck me as I read through r/daddit was how many follow-up threads there were that said something to the effect of:

The math trick worked!

One user wrote that when his kids woke up screaming from a nightmare, he responded with a simple addition question.

"Soon as my wife closed the door ... [my kid] wanted mommy and started yelling her head off. I remembered the math trick and went 'what's 2+2?' It worked like a charm; the screaming ceased by the second question," he said.

In a separate thread, u/LighTMan913 had a message for "whoever posted here a few days ago about having your kid do mental math when they're upset..."

"You're a mother fudging genius," he said.

"My 7-year-old got in trouble for being mean to his brother shortly before bed time. He was rolled over facing the wall in bed. Wouldn't say goodnight. Just giving mumbles into the bed that are impossible to hear for answers.

"Started with 2+2 and by the time we got to 4096 he was smiling and laughing. 5 minutes after I left the room he called me back in to tell me he thinks he figured out 4096 + 4096 and I worked him through his wrong, albeit very close, answer.

"Worked like a charm. Thank you."

It's not just random dads on the Internet. Experts agree that this method is a bona fide winner for dealing with tantrums and outbursts.

upset kidHelping kids calm down can be a challenge.Annie Spratt/Unsplash

Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and author, had this to say about the viral technique:

"When our emotions rise, our logic decreases. The more emotional we feel, the more difficult it is to think clearly.

"A simple math problem requires you to raise your logic, which automatically decreases the intensity of an emotion."

Morin says that the math trick basically boils down to a distraction. A distraction with the added bonus of re-engaging the logical side of a child's brain.

"If you do what's known as 'changing the channel' in your brain, you get your mind thinking about something else--like a math problem. When you shift your attention, your thoughts change," Morin says, adding that adults can use this concept when they're feeling overwhelmed, too.

"When a child is upset, don't talk about why they're upset or why a tantrum is inappropriate. Instead, help them change the channel in their brains and raise their logic. When everyone is calm, you can have a discussion about how the strategy works--and how they can apply it themselves when you're not available to remind them."

Now I just need to get my 4-year-old up to speed on basic addition and subtraction and I'll be made in the shade!

Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani wows audiences with his amazing musical talents.

Mozart was known for his musical talent at a young age, playing the harpsichord at age 4 and writing original compositions at age 5. So perhaps it's fitting that a video of 5-year-old piano prodigy Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani playing Mozart has gone viral as people marvel at his musical abilities.

Alberto's legs couldn't even reach the pedals, but that didn't stop his little hands from flying expertly over the keys as incredible music pours out of the piano at the 10th International Musical Competition "Città di Penne" in Italy in 2022. Even if you've seen young musicians play impressively, it's hard not to have your jaw drop at this one. Sometimes a kid comes along who just clearly has a gift.

Of course, that gift has been helped along by two professional musician parents. But no amount of teaching can create an ability like this.


Alberto first started playing in 2020 in the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic. Italy was one of the first countries to experience a serious lockdown, and Alberto's mother used the opportunity to start teaching her son to play piano. Alessia Cingolani and her husband Simone Cartuccia are both music conservatory graduates, and mom Alessia told Italian entertainment website Contrataque that she and her husband recognized Alberto's talent immediately.

She said that although Alberto spends a lot of time at the piano, he also has plenty of time for school and play and television, like a normal kid.

There's genuinely nothing "normal" about this kid's piano playing, though. Watch:

Wow, right? There are countless adults who took years of piano lessons and never got to that level of playing. It's like he's channeling Amadeus himself.

According to Corriere Adriatico, by the time he was 4 1/2 years old, Alberto had participated in seven national and international online competitions and won first place in all of them. His mother told the outlet that he started out practicing for about 10 minutes a day and gradually increased to three hours.

"He has a remarkable flair for the piano," she said. Um, yeah. Clearly.

Some commenters expressed some concern for the boy based on his seriousness and what looks like dark circles under his eyes in the video, but if you check out other videos of Alberto playing at home, he is more relaxed. Most of his playing and competition entries have been done online, so performing for a crowd is probably new for him. And in interviews, his mother has made it clear that they prioritize normal childhood activities.

Some children are just genuine prodigies, and Alberto certainly seems to fit that bill. Can't wait to see what kind of musical future awaits this kid.


This article originally appeared on 5.4.22

Joy

London's black cab drivers keep a tradition alive for families of chronically sick kids

From free rides to Disneyland trips, these cabbies go the extra mile for families at Great Ormond Street Hospital.

Mic from Reading - Berkshire, United Kingdom

A representative image of one of London's famous black cabs

Great Ormond Street Hospital is more than just a hospital—it’s a beacon of hope for families from all over the UK and beyond who come seeking expert care for their critically ill children. According to a BBC report, London's black cab drivers have consistently demonstrated an extraordinary dedication to these families. One driver shared, “It’s not much, but if it helps them, that’s what matters.” The drivers are well aware that, to these parents, every gesture counts, especially when it lifts even a little of the weight they carry.


The Magical Taxi Tour: a journey of joy

Beyond the free rides to GOSH, London's black cab community also hosts the annual "Magical Taxi Tour"—a three-day event that takes children with severe illnesses to Disneyland Paris. Organized in partnership with GOSH and several sponsors, the tour began in 1994 and has since become a cherished tradition, celebrating its 30th anniversary this year. For over 200 children, this journey isn’t just a holiday; it’s a chance to escape hospital routines and immerse themselves in the joy of Disneyland, surrounded by family and caring drivers who volunteer to make the trip possible.

@clegggifford In partnership with the ‘Magical Taxi Tour’ we’re proud to do our small bit, providing insurance for this journey from Great Ormond Street to Disneyland Paris. 🚖 #GOSH #MagicalTaxiTour #LondonToParis #Charity #fundraising ♬ original sound - CleggGifford

In an article by The Telegraph, cab drivers expressed how the tour enriches their own lives as much as it does the children’s. They decorate their cabs with balloons and flags, honk and wave, and set off in a convoy filled with excitement. Each year, crowds gather to watch them depart, wishing them well as they make the journey. This annual event is an entire community effort, funded by donations and coordinated by volunteers committed to bringing happiness to the lives of these children.

Social media celebrates a city’s kindness

Social media has amplified awareness of these remarkable acts of kindness. A recent TikTok video capturing this year’s Magical Taxi Tour parade gained thousands of reactions, with viewers from around the world showing admiration. One Reddit user, Corporation_tshirt, remarked on the drivers’ dedication: “I also love the tradition London cabbies have of never charging families for trips to this one children’s hospital.” Another commenter, PepperPhoenix, shared the significance of the hospital’s work, adding, "Great Ormond Street. A hospital for the most critically ill children. They are on the bleeding edge of medical innovation, and desperately ill children from all over the world come there.”

"I also love the tradition London cabbies have of never charging families for trips to this one children’s hospital."

Corporation_tshirt

Another witness to the event, TheMilkfather, described seeing the Magical Taxi Tour return from France: “We saw them on the ferry from Calais to Dover. Just hundreds of taxis, and we Googled it at the time. It was so heartwarming to witness.”

"We saw them on the ferry from Calais to Dover. Just hundreds of taxis... It was so heartwarming to witness."

TheMilkfather

A tradition rooted in compassion and community

As the Magical Taxi Tour celebrated its 30th year, it’s clear this is a tradition built on more than just goodwill; it’s an expression of London’s communal spirit and the cabbies’ dedication to supporting children and families in need. Witnessing the convoy of cabs decorated with balloons, all heading to Disneyland, has become a symbol of the kindness that thrives in the city.

The Magical Taxi Tour is funded entirely through donations and volunteer support, allowing drivers to participate without charge to the families. For the cab drivers, it’s a meaningful way to connect with GOSH’s mission, and they look forward to the event each year, proud to support these children in a memorable way. Those inspired by the tour and the free rides to GOSH can also contribute to the cause, either by donating to Great Ormond Street Hospital or supporting initiatives like the Magical Taxi Tour.

As the next generation of London’s black cab drivers carry on this cherished tradition, they remind us that in a fast-paced world, kindness and compassion still have a powerful place. The drivers’ dedication to making a difference, whether through a simple ride or a trip of a lifetime to Disneyland, brings comfort, strength, and joy to those who need it most.

@yourejustliz/TikTok

“Nice is different than kind."

It might have been pretty universally accepted during our childhood for daughters to be expected to reciprocate affection from adults, whether they liked it or not. A non consensual kiss to grandparents here, a forced “thank you” there. But times have changed.

However, this change in parenting style can sometimes make for some, well, awkward or even downright uncomfortable situations as moms and dads try to advocate for this kid’s autonomy.

Recently, a mom named Liz Kindred detailed just such an incident with her six year old daughter, which has a whole lotta other parents discussing how to navigate these unideal interactions.


As she recalls in a video posted to TikTok, Kindred was waiting in line with her daughter when a grown man turned around and said “My goodness, you sure are pretty” to the child.

“My six-year-old is gorgeous, yes, but she is also very in tune and perceptive, and she's an introvert so she grabbed my leg really tight,” Kindred said.

Doubling down, the man repeated himself, saying “You sure are pretty. Look at those blue eyes,” which only made her shy daughter grab her leg harder.

Noting that being in a 12 step program has taught her to be less “knee jerk reactionary,” the mom bit her tongue and offered a polite smile to the man, hoping that would be the end of it. It wasn’t.



“He's a boomer and, God love him, he said, ‘I guess your mom didn't teach you manners.’ And I let out an uncomfortable little [chuckle], and the pause was long. It was long. And under his breath he said, ‘Guess not,’” she said.

In what she called the most ”Jesus loving way” she could muster, while still bluntly making her point, Kindred told the man "If you assume that I didn't teach my six-year-old daughter to say ‘thank you’ to a grown, consenting man when he compliments her appearance, then you would be correct."

What followed was the “longest silence” of Kindred’s life.

The video, which has been viewed over 6 million times now, prompted a ton of parents to share how their own kids have established boundaries in similar situations—with their support, of course.

“An old man called my 4 yr old daughter a sweetheart at the store…she boldly responded ‘I am NOT YOUR sweetheart!’ I was so proud,” on person recalled.

Another added, “My 3 year old says ‘NO THANK YOU MY BODY DOESN’T LIKE TAHT.’”

Still another said “My 2 yo knows the boundaries song and just starts singing that anytime someone talks to her.”

While the response to Kindred’s video was overwhelmingly positive, there were a few comments defending the man as simply being “kind.” This prompted Kindred to do a follow-up video doubling down on her decision.

In the clip, she shared how she herself has dealt with seemingly innocent compliments in her life from men, which later turned into something else. Feeling like she “didn’t have a voice” to say something, “because I’m a nice Christian, Southern girl,” Kindred ended up being in unsavory situations (she didn't explicitly say what those situations were, but it's easy enough to piece together). She doesn’t want her daughter to have the same issues.


“Nice is different than kind. The kind thing to do is to teach our daughters and our children in this next generation that when you are uncomfortable with something you listen to your body and you set a firm boundary with that and you provide language around that. And you start that really really young.”

Yep. Well said.


This article originally appeared on 8.8.24

Family

Mom uses a brilliantly simple, one-word switch while teaching her daughter about makeup

Imagine if all daughters were taught to think of makeup this way.

@maggiekatz/TikTok

One simple change can make all the difference.

Makeup is an incredibly fun form of self-expression. At the same time, it’s deeply enmeshed with the problematic beauty standards that rob women of their self-worth. Many grown women have a rather complicated relationship with it, so it’s no wonder that they might have a hard time knowing exactly how to have a conversation about it with their own daughters.

But one mom has a pretty awesome solution for teaching her child about makeup in a healthy way, and it all comes down to a simple word switch.

In a video posted to her TikTok, Maggie Katz has a pretty adorable exchange with her daughter in front of the bathroom mirror as they put on makeup together.

As they do, Katz tells her daughter “You look so fancy.”

Note the word “pretty” is not mentioned here.

Katz continues, “And why do we do makeup? Because it’s fun and we get to look fancy. But are we pretty no matter what,” to which her daughter enthusiastically agrees.

And that’s it—that’s the entire video. But it’s so easy to see what a profound mindset shift this language tweak makes. Imagine if all of us had been taught to view makeup as something that merely adorns or elaborate on what’s already there, rather than fixing unlovable flaws.


@maggiekatz The words we hear growing up have an impact :heart: #makeup #momsoftiktok #raisingdaughters #fancy ♬ original sound - Maggie Katz


“I needed this as a kid,” one person shared. Another wrote, “This lady on here fixing all the little people inside of us.”

So many people chimed in to praise Katz’s idea, saying that they would be following her lead.

“THANK YOU!,” one person wrote. “I put on makeup occasionally for super special events and I’ve struggled with how to explain it besides saying it’s fun to be artistic sometimes. I’ll be using this.”

Another echoed, "I will be teaching my daughters this way now.”

Others shared how they too have incorporated different phrases like “glamorous” or “fun” rather than “pretty” when teaching their daughters about makeup—or just thinking about it for themselves.

And for what it’s worth, Katz believes in boys feeling fancy with makeup, too. In a comment she wrote, “I have a son too (he's a few years older) and it definitely works with him too. I've worked to remind him that we can all find beauty everywhere we look and that everyone is special in their own way.”

The conversation struck up by Katz’s video is just one way our collective mindset towards makeup has seemed to shift for the better. Yes, we hear tales of Sephora kids being prematurely fixated on anti-aging, but maybe that’s only one part of the picture. After all, we also see celebrities going more bare faced, as well as more people advocating to do away with overly photoshopped ads for beauty products.

Speaking of ads—it’s interesting to note that for years makeup was sold to women as something they needed in order to feel beautiful/worthy/acceptable/etc. But then Gen Z came into the scene, with their fun eyeliner shapes and crazy color combinations just for the hell of it, and now makeup has become more of an art form than a clutch. And makeup sales are more booming than ever. Companies take note: you don’t have to disempower people to push products. Just saying.

Whether you’re a bona fide glambot or prefer to save the eyeliner for special occasions, may this be a reminder to you (and any little ones you’re trying to uplift) that you’re perfect exactly as you are.

Family

Your 7-year-old is questioning the meaning of life. Now what?

Existential intelligence in kids is a good thing. Here's how to manage it.

Vitolda Klein & NASA/Unsplash

The meaning of life is a big question for all of us.

I put my parents through existential hell when I was a kid.

Even at just 7 or 8 years old, I didn't see the point in anything, and it left me defeated.

What, I just go to school, come home, do homework, go to bed, and then get up and do it all over again? What are even doing here?!

It must have frustrated them to no end. Looking back, of course they didn't have the answers! None of us do! It couldn't have been easy trying to explain that to a child who just wouldn't let it go.

A recent Reddit thread on r/Daddit made me realize I wasn't the only kid who had these big, philosophical thoughts.

A dad posted: "I was putting my 7 y.o to bed when he asked if it's weekend tomorrow. I said yes, then he asked 'and then it's school again?', then painstakingly said 'and then we do it all over again'. My boy has just realised what life is."

Dozens of other parents chimed in on the thread to share that their kids, too, had at some point become aware of the drudgery of daily life.

"On the school run earlier this week my son realised he'll have to work one day like mummy and daddy. Shortly followed by the words 'and then I'll be tired'", wrote one.

"My 8yo daughter asked me what the point of life is if all we do is slave away to pay taxes," said another.

And here's a brutal one for you:

"When my daughter was four she stood on the 10th step of our staircase and decided it was time for her to take her first flight. I told her that was not gonna happen and she was about to really hurt herself. She asked what age she'd finally be ready to fly. I told her never. People don't fly. She teared up and asked 'what's the point of life then??'."

When kids start questioning life, existence, and the universe, it's called Existential Intelligence. Believe it or not, it's a good thing.

space and the cosmosNASA/Unsplash

Existential Intelligence refers to an ability to see the big picture.

So often we're focused on more tangible skills like math, reading comprehension, language skills and memorization in kids.

But some kids just seem to have a knack for seeing the whole forest, so to speak. And that can lead them to ask big questions. According to MentalUp, common questions from kids who excel in this kind of thinking are:

  • Where did we come from?
  • Where do you go when you die?
  • Why are there numbers?
  • What are our lives for? / Why are we here?
That's just the kind of topic every parent loves to discuss right before bedtime!

(If you've ever had to explain the concept of death to your kids, you know it's not a whole lot of fun.)

Even though it might be frustrating to be put on the spot with questions you can't answer as a parent, Existential intelligence in kids is a good sign. It means they're curious, empathetic, and want to know they 'why' behind what they do and what they're asked to do. They're good at connecting skills they're learning in school to the real world (and they might struggle if they can't figure out why they'll ever need to know the names of all the generals in the Revolutionary War).

These kids may make great leaders, great communicators, and talented artists as they become older.

But in the meantime...

How to handle your kids' big questions about life and the universe

Billions of starsNASA Hubble Space Telescope/Unsplash

I asked Dr. Ryan Sultan, a child board-certified psychiatrist and professor at Columbia University, for some tips on how parents can handle kids with high Existential Intelligence.

What do you do if they get really bummed out about the disappointing realities of life? How do you explain the meaning of existence to them when you haven't figured it out for yourself yet?

"[Existential intelligence] can be a beautiful quality in kids, but it can also bring challenges—especially when they start to feel a sense of futility in everyday routines or even feel disheartened by the seemingly endless cycle of school, homework, and activities," he says.

Step one is to validate their feelings, and avoid dismissing or trying to distract them.

"Many kids, particularly those who think deeply, go through phases where they wonder if life is just a series of monotonous routines. Let them know that adults also grapple with these questions—and that it’s okay to feel uncertain or even bummed out by it."

Next, instead of giving them the answers you don't have, try asking questions.

"Encourage them to explore what these feelings mean to them. Ask questions like, 'What do you think would make life more interesting or meaningful?' or 'What are the things you enjoy that make you feel alive or excited?'"

Help them understand that these are questions they'll be asking themselves their whole lives. It's not so much about having the answer right away, but seeing life as a lifelong journey of learning and curiosity.

Help them find meaning in art, nature, community, or spirituality.

"For some children, creative outlets like art, music, writing, or even spending time in nature can be powerful ways to explore and express these feelings," Dr. Sultan says. "Others might find meaning through spiritual practices, like meditation or mindfulness, which can help them feel more connected to the present and less burdened by the future."

Helping them give back by getting involved in the community or with a charity can make a big difference too. And if you can model the ways in which you find meaning amidst the daily drudgery, that's even better!

It's a good thing when your kids ask these kinds of questions, even though they're hard (or impossible) to answer. It means your children are empathetic, curious, and want to know more about how the world works. The most important thing is not to reframe everything positively and try to "cheer them" out of it if these philosophical quandaries put them in a funk. It's OK to get a little down because you're not sure what the greater purpose is — we've all been there. That just means they're human. Encourage them to get a little more comfortable with the not knowing, and to never lose that sense of curiosity.