'We do not negotiate with tantrumists.'
Flying can test anyone’s patience, but for u/Safe_Ad_9314, one recent flight turned into a surprising lesson in setting boundaries. They had reserved a window seat—an intentional choice aimed at making their journey just a bit more enjoyable. But as soon as they settled in, a family boarded, and a conflict began brewing.
After several attempts to calm her, the father turned to the man and asked if they’d give up their seat for the child, adding, “She’s just a kid.” Yet, he gently stood his ground, explaining that the window seat was not a random perk, but something they had deliberately arranged—and even paid extra for.
The family’s six-year-old daughter quickly grew upset that she didn’t have the coveted window view. Her frustration was clear:
"I want the window! I want the window!"
— the child
Eventually, the mother distracted the child with a tablet, and the flight continued. But as everyone deboarded at their destination, the mother shot a lingering remark at u/Safe_Ad_9314:
"Some people just have no heart."
— the mother
That stung. It’s never easy to feel judged—especially when you’ve tried to be polite. Unsure if they’d done the right thing, u/Safe_Ad_9314 turned to the online community for feedback. The response was overwhelmingly supportive, reframing the encounter into a conversation about how we teach children empathy, respect, and understanding of life’s little disappointments.
Boundaries Matter—Especially in Public
Do we cave at the first sign of a tantrum, or do we help kids learn that not every wish can be granted? The community weighed in:
"You teach your kids how society works and that not everything is at their disposal all the time."
— u/hierosx
People pointed out that giving in to every demand might soothe tears in the moment, but can set unrealistic expectations for the future. If having a window seat was so important, some said, parents could plan ahead and book one. After all, this wasn’t about denying a child joy, but about showing them how to handle disappointment gracefully.
Why Tantrums Don’t Work
Many commenters stood behind the idea that it’s kinder in the long run to help children learn healthy boundaries:
"I learned when my kids were toddlers that the best policy was 'we do not negotiate with tantrumists.'"
— u/BeBearAwareOK
Setting clear limits doesn’t mean being cruel. It means showing kids that while it’s okay to feel upset, not every feeling must be instantly gratified.
Nobody Owes You Their Seat
Tip for parents: If you kiddo wants this view, book the right seats. Photo by Francesco Ungaro
At the core, many commenters reminded readers that random strangers aren’t responsible for resolving someone else’s poor planning or appeasing a meltdown:
"It’s not your responsibility to accommodate someone else’s poor planning or their child’s tantrum."
— u/experiment_ad_4
Others emphasized that saying “no” isn’t heartless—sometimes it’s a necessary act of kindness to the child, who learns that people have their own boundaries and can’t always bend.
"I am a mum of three. Kids get explained that they can’t have that seat as it’s already occupied, end of it."
— u/Sure_Freedom3
Instead of feeling guilty, u/Safe_Ad_9314 received a gentle reminder that upholding personal boundaries is part of living in a shared world. When we calmly stand our ground, we help create an environment where everyone learns that respect and empathy go both ways—even at 30,000 feet.
In the end, that’s what makes these moments matter. When we model healthy limits, we’re not just keeping a seat—we’re showing kids that there’s a bigger picture out there, one where kindness and fairness guide us all.
This article originally appeared last year.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."