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Dad shares family's confusion when his young son demanded 'people chicken' for dinner

It took them awhile to figure it out, but once you see it, you can't unsee it.

Photo by Shardar Tarikul Islam on Unsplash

"People chicken" sounds…disturbing

One of the best parts of having kids is having a full-time, front row seat to the way they interpret and use language as they grow. There's the classic mispronunciations of "spaghetti," of course, but there are also one-of-a-kind terms they coin based on their limited vocabulary and the unique way they look at the world.

Kids say the darnedest things, and as Dillon White shared on Instagram, one of those darned things could be a young child requesting "people chicken" for dinner. Not just requesting, but demanding: "I WANT PEOPLE CHICKEN!!"

People chicken. There are only so many ways to interpret that, all of which could land you on the FBI's radar.

Of course, it was a small child saying this, so there had to be an explanation.

White explained that he and his wife tried everything to get their kiddo to clarify what he meant by "people chicken," including having him draw a picture of what he was wanting. Unfortunately, the stick figure person he drew did not help relieve any concerns that their child might be a cannibal.

Finally, White's 7-year-old daughter came up with a solution that revealed what her younger brother wanted. It was not, in fact, chicken made out of people. Phew.

Watch:

It's true. Once you see Colonel Sanders' bow tie as a stick figure, you can't unsee it.

Even KFC's official account responded to the video, writing, "You see it once, and you can't unsee it." HA.

White was not alone in his kid seeing the stick figure Col. Sanders.

"The SAME thing (conversation) happened to us 22 years ago!! My toddler was practically throwing himself trying to make us understand that he wanted 'Old Man Chicken'!!!!!! And yup, it was KFC he was asking for. We have referred to it as ‘Old Man Chicken’ all these years now 😂!!" shared on commenter.

"About halfway through we figured out what he was talking about but that’s only because my kids have been saying for years that the KFC man is a stick figure with a really big head. Tell Mason he’s not the only kid who thought that.Lol 😂😂😂" shared another.

"I think I’ve been working with children too long because the instant you said people chicken my brain said 'that’s kfc,' 😂 wrote another.

Other people chimed in to share their kids' hilarious naming conventions for chicken places:

"My son was in tears for 'Pinky Toe.' Turns out he thought the Chick-fil-A emblem was a foot 😂," wrote one parent.

"Lol. My daughter refers to Chick-fil-A as 'foot' because their logo actually reserved a footprint. So interesting thinking of the different ways that children see things that we adults don't. It's amazing!" shared another.

"My kids call Buffalo Wild Wings 'stinky skunks' because from a distance, the logo looks like a skunk to them. We went through a similar very confusing moment to figure that one out as you can imagine, 🤦♀️🤣" shared another.

White is right. We should let kids name everything. They're so much better at it than adults are.

You can follow Dillon White on Instagram here and TikTok here.


This article originally appeared on 2.7.24

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Joy

Gen X has hit 'that stage' of life and is not handling it very well

We are NOT prepared for Salt-n-Pepa to replace Michael McDonald in the waiting room at the doctor's office, thankyouverymuch.

The Holderness Family/Facebook

Gen X is eating dinner earlier and earlier. It's happening.

The thing about Gen X being in our 40s and 50s now is that we were never supposed to get "old." Like, we're the cool, aloof grunge generation of young tech geniuses. Most of the giants that everyone uses every day—Google, Amazon, YouTube—came from Gen X. Our generation is both "Friends" and "The Office." We are, like, relevant, dammit.

And also, our backs hurt, we need reading glasses, our kids are in college and how in the name of Jennifer Aniston's skincare regimen did we get here?

It's weird to reach the stage when there's no doubt that you aren't young anymore. Not that Gen X is old—50 is the new 30, you know—but we're definitely not young. And it seems like every day there's something new that comes along to shove that fact right in our faces. When did hair start growing out of that spot? Why do I suddenly hate driving at night? Why is this restaurant so loud? Does that skin on my arm look…crepey?

As they so often do, Penn and Kim Holderness from The Holderness Family have captured the Gen X existential crisis in a video that has us both nodding a long and laughing out loud. Salt-n-Pepa in the waiting room at the doctor's office? Uh, no. That's a line we are not ready to cross yet. Nirvana being played on the Classic Rock station? Nope, not prepared for that, either.

Watch:

Hoo boy, the denial is real, isn't it? We grew up on "Choose Your Own Adventure" books, for goodness sake, and it's starting to feel like we made a wrong choice a chapter or two back and suddenly landed our entire generation in a time warp. This isn't real, is it? Thirty years ago was the 1970s. That's just a Gen X fact. So what if we've lived long enough for our high school fashions to go out of style and then back into style and then back out of style again?

Seriously, though, we can either lament our age and stage in life or we can laugh about it, and people are grateful to the Holdernesses for assisting with the latter. Gen X fans are also thrilled to see their own experiences being validated, because at this point, we've all had that moment in the grocery store or the waiting room when one of our jams came on and we immediately went into a panic.

"They were playing The Cure in the grocery store and I almost started crying," wrote one commenter. "I mean, how 'alternative' can you be if you're being played in Krogers? You guys are great! Thanks for making us laugh."

"I couldn’t believe it when I heard Bohemian Rhapsody being played in Walmart," shared another. "That was edgy in my day."

"I know!!! Bon Jovi at the grocery store!!! That was my clue in!!" added another.

"Long live Gen Xers! We have to be strong!! We can get through this together!! #NKOTBmeetsAARP" wrote on commenter.You can find more from the Holderness Family on their Facebook page, their podcast and their website, theholdernessfamily.com.


This article originally appeared on 1.28.24

gen x
Family

A dad dressed as Darth Vader to wake up his son. The kid's reaction is pure 'Star Wars.'

"I am your father!"


Dads are ridiculous. But perhaps, in the world today, there is no dad quite so ridiculous as Rob Lopez:


Photo via Rob Lopez/YouTube.


On a morning not too long ago, Lopez apparently had the following thought: "I'm going to dress up as Darth Vader and wake up my 2-year-old."

Photo via Rob Lopez/YouTube.


Clearly, the correct follow-up thought is, "No. That's silly. Why would I ever wake up a 2-year-old. Like, on purpose."

But not for Rob Lopez. Oh, no.

After suiting up...

GIFs via Rob Lopez/YouTube, unless otherwise noted.

...and receiving the mission critical sign-off from his wife.

He grabbed his lightsaber and gave it a go. The results ... pretty much speak for themselves (fast-forward to 1:05 for the main event).

There are a couple of things about Lopez's son's reaction that we should talk about.

(First, this child is objectively the hardest core human on the face of planet Earth right now.)

He grabs the lightsaber he keeps next to his bed (just in case) and it's game on, Dark Lord of the Sith. Game. On.

Think about how you would feel, as an adult person, in complete control of your faculties, with a firm grasp on the difference between fiction and reality, being aggressively prodded awake by a six-foot-tall man in a full-body Darth Vader mech-suit complete with voice modulator and terrifyingly heavy breathing.

Think about how loud you would scream and the volume of pee you would pee into your pants.

Meanwhile, this toddler — who is probably no more than three feet tall, groggy and vulnerable, with no cognitive ability to discern this is not the real Darth Vader — didn't even think twice about taking him on.

GIF from "Return of the Jedi."

Perhaps the most impressive part? At a mere 2 years of age, he's already learned, perhaps, the single greatest lesson of "Star Wars."

You don't defeat the dark side with mad lightsaber skills (although they are fun to show off).

You defeat it with compassion.

...which, in this kid's case, involves casually grabbing a book and asking Darth Vader to read him a story.

Empathy for Siths — with an assist from curiosity and literacy: That's a lesson we could all use.


This article originally appeared on 05.06.16

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Joy

Dad recounts the epic tale of racing to the birth of his child after fainting

Childbirth can be chaotic. But this is next level.

LukeEpplin/X

This is one epic birth story

One dad is delighting readers on X with an epic tale of nearly missing his daughter’s birth after fainting. His story of rushing to make it in time feels like something straight out of a movie—complete with a happy ending.

Luke Epplin’s wife had gone into labor on a Friday. Most of that night, and all of Saturday, Epplin stayed awake, waiting. Finally, on Sunday, he began to doze off. That’s when he got word that his wife had gone into active labor.

And this is where our hilarious saga begins.

“I got on my feet, threw on my clothes, and then was thrust in the middle of the action. Whether because of exhaustion, lack of food, or having just gotten up, I don't remember anything else. I fainted,” he wrote.

When he finally woke up, blood was “oozing” from his head and he was whisked away to the emergency room. EMT’s told him he might need a CT scan, "which would make me miss the birth of my daughter."

Thankfully, all that Epplin ended up needing was staples. Which meant it was all smooth sailing from here on out, right? Guess again.

There was still a “massive” hospital to navigate, the nurse guiding him through the multiple hallways was called away on an emergency. Leaving him to make it through the labyrinth to the opposite side, with nothing but some verbal directions the nurse had given him. Which somehow got him to the bone marrow center.

“Granted, I'm in the clothes I slept in, with a massive white bandage wrapped around my head, like something you'd see in a World War I movie,” he wrote. As he frantically tried to tell another nurse that his was was in labor, she said, “I think you need to see security.”

Cut to Epplin saying the same thing to a security guard, who asks to see some discharge papers. That’s when Epplin realizes he has nothing on him. No papers, no ID, no visitors badge. Not even a cellphone.

Pulling a Hail Mary, Epplin told the guard the truth: that he had fainted while his wife was in labor, cut a gash into his head, got that treated, and then got himself lost. That must have done the trick, because the guard let him out.

Epplin had to sprint down two blocks (in slippers, mind you) and get past a parking valet and yet another security guard before making it up to the 10th floor of the correct building and into the maternity ward. By this time, he had somehow become famous.

“The attendant looked at me, and said, ‘Oh, you're the guy everyone's talking about,” he recalled.

Epplin’s determination ultimately paid off. He had made it before his daughter Ava had been born. Below is their first photo together, head bandages and all.

“Every picture of me during Ava's first day on Earth looks like this. I hope that she has a good sense of humor about it some day.”

It’s not completely uncommon for soon-to-be dads to faint in the delivery room. Often, as it seemed to be in Epplin’s case, the cause is low blood sugar. So it might be wise to pack snacks, drinks and meals in a cooler, according to Father Resource. Of course, packing snacks might be the last thing that’s on a father’s mind when the time comes.

But the point is: the situation is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it can make for a great birth story. Just ask Epplin!

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