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karens

Joy

Stop blaming the 'Karens.' The people who complain the most have a different name.

The stereotype has been wrong all along.

via Rickey123/Pixabay

A woman giving a stern warning.

Over the past few years, women named Karen have taken a lot of heat in the media. The term "Karen" has been used to describe a specific type of entitled, privileged and often middle-aged white woman. Typically, "Karen” is depicted as demanding, self-important and constantly seeking to escalate minor inconveniences to authority figures, like demanding to "speak to the manager."

Identifying the folks who create unnecessary drama in our world is important. But calling them a “Karen” isn’t the best way to solve the problem. There are many reasons to have an issue with the “Karen” stereotype. First, it’s terrible for people named Karen, and it’s also a connotation that many feel is racist, sexist and ageist.

Further, according to a new study by Trustpilot, the stereotype isn’t accurate. A recent survey by the online media site found that the people who leave the most one-star reviews aren’t female, and the women who do it the most aren’t named Karen.

Trustpilot is a site where people can review a business from which they’ve purchased a product or contacted customer service. According to TrustPilot, the number one biggest one-star reviewers are named John, not Karen.

“The name John is top for [one-star] reviews in the US, with the rest of the top five positions filled by David, Michael, Chris and James,” the site wrote in a press release. “Looking at specific categories, John is also first for negative reviews in Business Services, Electronics and Technology, Shopping and Fashion, and Money and Insurance. Meanwhile, Lisa left the most [one-star] reviews in our Beauty and Wellbeing category.”

So, if your name is Karen, keep this story in your back pocket next time someone stereotypes you as an entitled complainer. The real complainers are the Johns and, for the women, Lisas.

Why do people go online and write negative reviews? Psychologist William Berry writes in Psychology Today that people get many positive benefits from complaining, although they may annoy everyone around them.

The first big reason is an ego boost. When people complain, they feel validated. It also makes them feel superior to others. Complaining can also bring like-minded people together. If you and a significant other have ever been mistreated in a restaurant or car dealership, having a mutual enemy can work wonders for your relationship.

There are also entire groups of people who bond over a common gripe.

People who habitually complain may do so because of the brain’s negativity bias. “The human brain, geared for survival, focuses on negatives (as they appear more threatening to survival) than on positives (which enhance life but are less vital for survival),” Berry writes. “As the brain perceives negatives at an approximated ratio of five to one, there is simply more to complain about than there is to be grateful for. Additionally, this may lead to less general happiness.”

Here are the top 15 names of consumers who leave the most one-star reviews on Trustpilot. (Also known as the folks that owe the Karens out there an apology.)

1. John

2. David

3. Michael

4. Chris

5. James

6. Mike

7. Mark

8. Robert

9. Alex

10. Paul

11. Lisa

12. Sarah

13. Steve

14. Sam

15. Daniel

This article originally appeared on 9.7.23

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Joy

Man has the kindest reaction to an elderly neighbor complaining about his Christmas lights

It became a beautiful display of compassion.

@misterdenali69/TikTok

Kindness is magic.

Christmas is often a time when we try to dig a little deeper to be kind, generous, compassionate, grateful…all the things that make humanity worthwhile.

But having that holiday spirit isn’t always easy when in the middle of conflict. Let’s face it—when someone isn’t kind to us, the hardest thing to do is come back with the best version of ourselves. A special time of the year isn’t going to change that.

And yet, it’s much easier to retain this wisdom when we see it in action elsewhere. Which is why a certain video is making the rounds on TikTok and inspiring others to, as the saying goes, be the change they want to see in the world.

In a now-viral clip shared by several accounts online, we see a man speaking with his neighbor, an elderly woman, on the his porch.

The conversation, all caught on the man’s football camera, appeared to be a confrontation as the elderly woman had come to raise her concerns over the man’s rope Christmas lights, which she claimed were keeping her up at night.

“We went through this before, sweetheart,” the man said in the clip, reminding her that the police came by previously and determined that the lights couldn’t be shining through her bedroom window and causing any disturbance.

Indeed, they had gone head-to-head regarding the Christmas lights before. A previous video showed the woman knocking on his door at 1:30 am to complain about them, resulting in the man saying he would call the cops. The interaction didn’t go much farther than that, but it certainly wasn’t a smooth one.

Many noted that the woman could have been dealing with dementia, which would explain her forgetting any previous encounters.

It’s easy to see how this second altercation could have quickly escalated into something ugly, but instead, the man promised to have lights off by 10 pm at the woman’s request. No sarcasm or passive aggressive tone—just 100% kindness.

And then, the man surmised that this woman didn’t come over to discuss Christmas lights at all. What she was really after was companionship.

@mrdenali69
A true gentleman she’s probably dealing with demntia or something. Im glad he wasn’t mean to her.
♬ original sound - mrdenali

“I think you just need to come over when you’re lonely,” he said, offering for her to come over anytime she feels lonely to have some food, wine and a chat.

Completely taken by surprise, the woman’s hand rushed to her cheeks, and she began apologizing again. But her neighbor simply laughed it off, reassuring her that all was well.

Perhaps the man was right. The holidays can be a lonely time for anyone, but it can hit especially hard for seniors. A survey carried out by AARP in 2017 found that 28 percent of U.S. adults ages 50 and older reported feeling lonely during a holiday season. And that was before a worldwide pandemic.

So maybe this woman saw those Christmas lights, a bittersweet reminder of what she might be missing out on, and was hit with an inexorable yearning for connection without even being aware of her own pain. Who knows.

One thing is for sure—his compassion completely changed the situation, and maybe even their relationship. It’s a beautiful reminder of just how powerful kindness can be.

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Woman simply refuses to let a female work on her car—'they belong behind the scenes'

TikTok

via @centrayray

When a video caption reads, “blows my mind how people can be,” you tend to expect the worst. And though it’s practically common knowledge that misogyny is still a very real thing, watching this woman outright refuse to let another woman work on her car is still shocking. Not to mention troubling.

Nearly 2 million people on TikTok have now seen this video, which was uploaded by a woman named Rachel (@25centrayray), who works at a car dealership in the service department.

On the screen we see: “When a Karen calls and we are all female service writers…”

@5centrayray Blows my mind how people can be. ##karen ##cardealership ##serviceindustry ##serviceadvisor ##HangUpOnIt ##MakeABunchHappen
♬ original sound - Rachel

Rachel’s coworker, Autumn, simply answers the phone with a warm, professional greeting, and the woman on the other line is already displeased.

“Autumn, I didn't ask for a female, I would like to talk to a male.”

Yeah, she said that. And more.

The woman continued, “my opinion is that females don’t belong in the service department. They belong behind the scenes doing the paperwork.”

This is the part that really got me. Like, doesn’t this woman know that 99% of most jobs is paperwork? What does that even mean?

Rachel lets us know that their department is run by a female service director who oversees two dealerships and has more than 25 years of experience. So if this woman is looking for a qualified professional, she’s in luck!

But if she simply needs a male in charge, she’s asking for disappointment.

Autumn breaks the sad news that unfortunately, there are no males in the dealership’s service department. The only solution is to transfer her to the sales department, where there is a male coworker.

Which is actually a nonsolution as, predictably, the woman will get transferred back. And she does.

See on Instagram

When the woman eventually gets back on the line, she tells Autumn that she needs to make an appointment, threatening, “I just hope there are no females on the desk when I get there.” Yikes.

Once again Autumn (the real MVP of this whole debacle) keeps her cool and politely reminds the woman that there are still no males who work in the service department.

The woman’s reply? “Oh God, that is totally messed up. I need my oil changed but there better be a male mechanic that I can talk to.”

Rachel lets us know that this woman is something of a regular customer, and has “some issue every visit,” but this goes beyond just being a difficult patron.

The woman then says that she doesn’t "want a female working on [her] car” because last time she came, it took a hour to do a job that should have taken five minutes. That because an “incompetent” female failed to page her at a reasonable time, she had to “track down a male” to get it sorted.

Rachel tells us what actually happened though.

“The time she speaks of is the appointment she refused to reschedule due to our shop getting hit with Covid and being down four techs so the shop was behind, and was told of the extended wait time.”

See on Instagram

It’s always a best practice to avoid judgment and take a middle approach, but as a woman watching this, I can’t help but be gutted.

As one person wrote, “I will never understand female hating other females,” and, well, yeah. Hate is what it feels like.

Other people in the comments were quick to respond to this abhorrent behavior, including a woman who wrote, “as a female mechanic I’m livid.”

“This is repulsive,” another person added.

Others had more biting (yet pretty funny) responses:

"Ma'am, did you get your husband's approval first before you called us? I’d like a handwritten permission and notarized before we can continue..."

“You should have told her that her husband needs to call to schedule the appointment to make sure it's the right service being requested.”

See on Instagram

To the dealership’s credit: The owner, rightfully “shocked and outraged” after seeing this video, had the woman “fired as a customer.”

You would think—especially in this day and age—that our society could wrap their heads around the fact that yes, women are completely capable of doing more than “behind the scenes” jobs.

But rest assured, if this woman holds this opinion, others do too. It’s heartbreaking and infuriating all at the same time.

On the other hand TikTok is an amazing platform for exposing outdated thinking and challenging obsolete societal norms. One of our staff writers, Tod Perry, wrote a few months ago about a female mechanic who was told “she didn’t belong” by a male coworker. As the headline suggests, she proved him wrong.

As more and more women pursue opportunities, do kickass work and succeed, it’s bound to piss a few people off, who somehow view equality as some sort of threat to tradition. But in the end, that’s their problem.

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A 'Christmas Gargoyle' sparks an epic decoration war between neighbors.

via Frank the Christmas Gargoyle / Facebook

It's amazing how many people have the inability to mind their own business and need to criticize their neighbors for the pettiest things. You see them every day on Nextdoor, complaining about overgrown lawns or paint colors that aren't "befitting the neighborhood."

Well one of these uptight neighbors, referred to in this story as a "Karen," messed with the wrong woman this holiday season (we'll call her "Our Hero" for the story's sake). She had no idea that criticizing her neighbor for having a gargoyle on her porch during the Christmas season would lead to a battle of epic proportions.

It all started with Our Hero's neighbor sending a note that gargoyles are not "in keeping with the Christmas spirit." So she responded by making Frank the Gargoyle festive with a Santa hat and beard.

Our Hero then took things up a notch on the festive meter by giving Frank some company, a Christmas tree.

Then, the angry neighbor sent over another note asking if Our Hero thinks they are funny. So she decided to add one new item a day, like an Advent calendar. Then, Elf on a Shelf joins the party.

The next day, Frosty the Snowman showed up on Our Hero's porch.

Taking things a step further, she added a photo of Bruce Willis from "Die Hard," because, for some, the film is a Christmas classic. These people deserve to be represented in such an inclusive holiday display.

Things started to get a little more "A Nightmare Before Christmas" looking after the cat skeleton was added to the motley Christmas scene.

Then, the neighbor struck back with a note that called Our Hero "childish" and "ridiculous."

Next, Our Hero added a dog skeleton to the scene to keep the cat skeleton company.

via Frank the Christmas Gargoyle / Facebook

The neighbor is really getting angry!

via Frank the Christmas Gargoyle / Facebook

The neighbor returned with another note that read: "HIPPOS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!" haven't they heard the famous song "I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas"?

via Frank the Christmas Gargoyle / Facebook

"With all these notes I've been getting, it made me think about someone else who liked to write demanding notes—namely the Phantom of the Opera," Our Hero wrote. "I guess that makes me Monsieur Firmin now."

via Frank the Christmas Gargoyle / Facebook

The neighbor's next announcement was that they had reported Our Hero to the homeowners association. But much like Kevin McCallister in "Home Alone," she wouldn't back down. "You guys give up? Or are you thirsty for more?"

Nothing says Christmas 2020 quite like a plague doctor and rats.

Then, the neighbor got seriously angry and knocked over some of the Christmas scene.

"WHOA!! I go away for three hours and there was a melee!" Our Hero wrote. "Looks like we struck a nerve today. Karen's note today indicated that she is most unappreciative 'that I would choose to put VERMIN on my porch.' My display is 'horrid,' and my parents 'must be so proud to have raised such a completely disrespectful and spiteful daughter.' Well Karen, my parents are no longer with us, but I'm absolutely positive they would be proud and loving this whole thing. Where do you think I got my sense of humor and charm from? Plus, my mom taught to never back down from a bully."

Next, in a completely tasteful move, Our Hero added some Pink Flamingos to the scene. John Waters would be proud.

We've got ten more days until Christmas and this story is far from over. Who knows what will happen next? Will the neighbors get into fisticuffs on Christmas Eve after too much eggnog? Will the city step in and take down the festive Christmas scene? Or will the neighbors bury that hatchet in a display of Christmas spirit?

Follow Frank the Christmas Gargoyle on Facebook to see how it ends.

P.S. Our Hero took a moment to write a serious note to thank everyone for following her story.

"The holiday season can be a tough time for a lot of us, myself included, and this year has been particularly COVID craptastic, so knowing that my silly shenanigans with my nosey neighbor has brought even a small chuckle to so many people really warms my heart. I mean, I crack myself up daily, but knowing people all over the dang world are cracking up with me is pretty freaking cool.

She then thank those who are working to keep us all healthy during these tough times," she wrote.

"I wanted to give a special shout out to all the nurses, docs, EMTs, PAs, RTs, and all you other frontline badasses for all of your comments. It's so cool to know this silly page can provide even a moment of relief from all the stress you guys are under right now. You guys are the true heroes of 2020! Frank and friends salute you!" she continued. "Everyone stay safe and remember---Hippos are Christmas AF!!"

From Your Site Articles

christmas

karens

Stop blaming the 'Karens.' The people who complain the most have a different name.

The stereotype has been wrong all along.

Man has the kindest reaction to an elderly neighbor complaining about his Christmas lights

It became a beautiful display of compassion.

Woman simply refuses to let a female work on her car—'they belong behind the scenes'

A 'Christmas Gargoyle' sparks an epic decoration war between neighbors.

Woman who was pressured to quit her job to raise stepdaughter's baby makes a bold decision

Star neuroscientist Andrew Huberman breaks down two simple exercises to improve vision

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