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Women may blame their pillow for having a stiff neck. Study shows it could be hormonal.

Perimenopause strikes again.

Photo credit: Canva

Women may blame their pillow for a stiff neck, it could be hormones

Waking up with a stiff neck or a tension headache is a pain...literally. For some women, it seems like a never ending cycle of searching for a new pillow. They walk out of the store confident they've found the perfect pillow only to wake up with a stiff neck or tension headache days later–rinse and repeat. If this sounds familiar and you're over the age of 35, your pillow may not be to blame at all.

As women of a certain age wonder what's going on with their necks while they sleep, researchers say the problem is likely hormonal. Menopause is no secret. While the word was once whispered to close confidants or replaced with the phrase "the change" (as if women were becoming vampires), conversations happen openly now. Because of this shift, women feel more prepared for the process to occur...when they're over 50...but many people are finding out "the change" starts happening years before menopause.

 perimenopause; stiff neck; best pillow; pillow for stiff neck; menopause; women and stiff neck; tension headaches Struggling with hot flashes, woman tries to keep cool.Photo credit: Canva

This process is called perimenopause, which is essentially pre-menopause, and the process can start as early as 35 and last up to a decade. Of course, genetics, health, and other biological factors determine how early the perimenopause stage starts for a woman, but it always starts the same–declining hormones. According to researchers, hormones control a lot of what's going on in someone's body, so any influx or reduction of these chemicals can have negative effects (including musculoskeletal performance).

"Both estrogen and testosterone are present in males and females. Both hormones contribute to the wellbeing of skeletal muscle and bone in men and women, and there is evidence that the loss of sex hormones is associated with the age-related decline in bone and skeletal muscle mass," Marybeth Brown writes in the article "Skeletal muscle and bone: effect of sex steroids and aging" for the journal Advances in Physiology Education.

 perimenopause; stiff neck; best pillow; pillow for stiff neck; menopause; women and stiff neck; tension headaches Woman experiences back pain at home.Photo credit: Canva

It's those decreases in sex hormones that researchers say may be a contributing factor to perimenopausal women's musculoskeletal issues—which would include a stiff neck. While currently researchers aren't specifically looking at the link between declining hormones and stiff neck isolated from the rest of the musculoskeletal system, declining hormones explains why these aches, pains, and injuries happen.

The Menopause Society, a nonprofit that empowers healthcare professionals with evidenced-based resources says, “Hormonal fluctuations during perimenopause and menopause can cause muscle tension. This tension can manifest in various body parts, with the neck being a common area.”

Recently, a woman sought answers to her stiff neck in a menopause group, saying, "I've seen a lot of blanket talk, but not much about pillows. I get night sweats and also lately I've had some neck pain that is unrelated to perimenopause (I think). I want a better pillow than I have, but it needs to be able to get washed from all the sweating. What works for you? And how do you wash it? Memory foam? Shredded...latex? or is it just plain shredded foam? Wool? Buckwheat husks? Something else?"

 perimenopause; stiff neck; best pillow; pillow for stiff neck; menopause; women and stiff neck; tension headaches Waking up with a sore neck.Photo credit: Canva

Much to the woman's surprise, she was flooded with comments from other women sharing they are also experiencing a stiff neck no matter what type of pillow they use. While several women shared their favorite type of pillow (memory foam seems to be the winner), others commiserated or were happy they weren't alone in the struggle.

One woman responded, "Just saw this post. Glad I did. My neck has been killing me over the last 3 months. I've bought so many pillows. Right now the shredded memory foam seems to be ok right now. Then I decided to do a quick search about neck pain and perimenopause....I'm pretty sure I have every symptom under the moon.... Currently on STD because of perimenopause is absolutely debilitating for me. Neck pain is a common symptom during perimenopause and menopause, often linked to declining estrogen levels and their impact on joint health and muscle function. This can manifest as aches, stiffness, and even frozen shoulder."

 perimenopause; stiff neck; best pillow; pillow for stiff neck; menopause; women and stiff neck; tension headaches Office worker stretching to relieve back pain.Photo credit: Canva

Researchers Nkechinyere Chidi-Ogbolu and Keith Baar explain in their article "Effect of Estrogen on Musculoskeletal Performance and Injury Risk" in the journal Frontiers in Physiology, "Consistent with a role for estrogen in regulating musculoskeletal function, menstruating women suffer more ACL ruptures than men and menopause is characterized by increased risk of musculoskeletal injury, accelerated bone and muscle wasting, and decreased sensitivity to anabolic stimuli. To counteract many of the negative aspects of menopause, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) has been used to reduce muscle and bone loss, and restore muscle protein balance."

So if you've been struggling with neck pain and are over the age of 35, have ruled out injury or another cause by your doctor, it just might be hormones. There's no stopping a decline in your natural hormone levels as you age, but there may be things that can help when working with your physician. In the meantime, here's to restful nights and a good memory foam pillow.

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Women's Health

Women are shocking their boyfriends by showing them how tampons actually work

The viral videos are a great way to educate men on a sensitive topic.

via TikTok

Women shock their boyfriends with tampon tutorials.

Menstrual taboos are as old as time and found across cultures. They've been used to separate women from men physically—menstrual huts are still a thing—and socially, by creating the perception that a natural bodily function is a sign of weakness. Even in today's world, women are deemed unfit for positions of power because some men actually believe they won't be able to handle stressful situations while mensurating.

"Menstruation is an opening for attack: a mark of shame, a sign of weakness, an argument to keep women out of positions of power,' Colin Schultz wrote in Popular Science in 2014. The big problem with menstrual taboos is the way that males are (or are not) educated on the subject leaves them with a patchwork of ideas that don't necessarily add up to the whole picture. First, there's the information they get from growing up with women in the house.

Then, there are the cryptic descriptions of menstruation seen in advertising and the cold, scientific way the topic is taught in sex education.

"Boys' early learning about menstruation is haphazard," a 2011 study published in the Journal of Family Issues reads. "The mysterious nature of what happens to girls contributes to a gap in boys' knowledge about female bodies and to some negative views about girls." Over a decade on from the study, and not much has changed. Men are still woefully undereducated on women's health and periods specifically, and, though there's acknowledgment they deserve more information and education, little progress has been made. In fact, boy's and men's misunderstanding or total lack of understanding surrounding menstruation is often played for laughs.

Unfortunately, the gaps in the average man's understanding of a complex female health issue can put women in a difficult position, whether it's denying them positions of power or a failure to understand their discomfort and their medical, physical, and emotional needs.

That's why it's so important for men to become better educated about menstruation.

A group of women on TikTok are helping the men in their lives better understand the subject by showing them how tampons work on the inside of their bodies. They call it the Boyfriend Challenge. Some of the guys' reactions are clearly over-the-top, but it's also obvious that many of them have no idea how tampons function.

A video by the Demery family has gone viral attracting nearly eight million views. It's fun to watch, but it also shows men how tampons function and what women go through during their monthly cycle.

@thedemeryfamily22

His reaction is priceless😂 #cutecouple #pregnant #prego #viral #InLove #couplegoals #trend #tampon

It's a bit of a facepalm moment that her man think he has to "compete" with a tampon after he's shown how it works, but I digress...

In another video, Rachel's man just uttered the phrase "vagina parachute." Sure, why not.

@mrshillery829

Of course I had to make my husband do this! I will forever call tampons “vagina parachutes”! LMAO!! #tamponchallenge #husbandpranks #funny #fyp


Paulina's man was completely flummoxed by the inner workings of a tampon. "You've been carrying this like, inside of you?" he asks. "The whole day?"

@paulinat

showing him how a tampôn works😭 @fabioguerrrraa

This guy thinks it's "like a butterfly."

@amanialzubi

showing my boyfriend how a tampon works 🤣😳❤️ ( @originalisrael ) #comedy #couple #couplegoals #foryou #trend #tiktok

This guy was in utter shock.

@thekelleyfamily

lmaoooo why 😂😭 #tamponchallenge #trend #hilariouscomedy #couple #married #foryoupage #fyp #xyzbca

Let's hope this challenge gave some men out there a better understanding of what women go through every month and a little more sympathy for the women in their lives. Hopefully it also makes them feel a little more comfortable around period products and inspires them to pick up the correct box of tampons next time they're at the grocery store.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Health

Science confirms viral theory about inheriting your mom's nervous system—and it explains a lot

“My mom really said, ‘Double it and give it to the next person.’”

Photo credit: Canva

Mother struggling to comfort her child.

Think about the last time your mom—whom you love and cherish—handled a situation poorly. Maybe she lost her temper while waiting to "speak to a representative" on the phone, or raised her voice in a moment that didn't warrant it. To be clear, mothers are not the only ones who lose their cool (we'll save analyzing your other family members' questionable behaviors for another time). But since they contribute 50% of our DNA, their unique responses to stress—their triggers, defense mechanisms, and attempts at self-soothing—deserve a second look. Because, as hoards of people on TikTok are now discovering, we inherit far more than just eye color and a winning smile from our moms.

Thanks to a viral video posted by TikTok user @sierraalexndraa (also known as Sierra Saltz, a chronic illness advocate and content creator who uses her platform to explore the connections between health, energy, and intentional living), people are discovering the complex, surprising world of genetic inheritance. The post, which has garnered 15 million views and 2.4 million likes, has sparked intense discussions about passed-on family traits, inherited emotional regulation, and that maybe, we really have no choice but to turn into our mothers.


 
 @sierralexandraa Did you know we inherit our mothers nervous system. #creatorsearchinsights #nervoussystemregulation #neuroception #epigenetics #neurospicy #fyp ♬ original sound - sierra 
 
 

"Did you know that you didn't just inherit your mom's genes, you inherited her nervous system, too?" Sierra asks. "From the moment we're in the womb, we're absorbing our mother's emotional state, her stress levels, and even the way she regulates her own nervous system."

The news shocked the Internet, with comments ranging from vulnerable ("You forgot to hold my hand 🥺," wrote one person) to outright denial ("Great, thank you, wish it didn't, moving on," replied another).

But the most common response? "Well, this explains a lot…"


via GIPHY

But is Sierra’s claim really true? Do we really inherit our mother’s nervous system? There was only one way to find out: We turned to science to try to explain this phenomenon. Here’s what we found.


 

The science behind “inheriting your mother’s nervous system”

 

Mitochondria tells the story. Yes, you inherit your mom’s nervous system—and your dad’s, too, don't forget. “It’s one of the basic tenets of biology: We get our DNA from our mom and our dad,” explains medical science writer Lisa Marshall. “But one notable exception has perplexed scientists for decades.”

It’s the mitochondria, the famed “powerhouse of the cell.”


mothers, science, mitochondria, genetics, nervous systemThe mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. Photo credit: Canva

Humans, along with most animals, only inherit mitochondrial DNA from their mothers—the result of a strange anomaly in the procreation cycle, as “all traces” of the male mitochondrial genome are obliterated the moment the sperm meets egg.

Why is this important? Well, it turns out that mitochondria are involved in almost every aspect of the human body. “The nervous system cannot possibly function without the mitochondria,” explain Dutch psychological scientist Peter Kramer and research scientist Paola Bressan in the research article titled “Our (Mother’s) Mitochondria and Our Mind.”

Besides providing our bodies with energy, these specialized powerhouses also regulate calcium in neurons, ensures synapse formation and the creation of new neurons, and maintains the delicate balance between cell survival and programmed cell death (apoptosis). Which might sound like a bunch of A.P. Biology buzzwords shoved together, for those not in the medical field.

But just imagine the humble mitochondria, working overtime to make sure everything’s in order: that our senses work, our motive skills are up-to-code, memories are created, and hormones are properly released. Unbeknownst to most, the mitochondria in our bodies are taking care of us. Almost like… a mom.


via GIPHY

But when things go haywire, a bunch of problems tend to follow. “A place where mitochondrial trouble occurs frequently is the brain,” writes Kramer and Bressan. So, “it is hardly accidental that their malfunctioning has been associated with virtually every mental or neurological affliction on earth, including chronic psychological stress and fatigue, cognitive deficits, Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, autism, multiple sclerosis, and Down syndrome.”

It’s not just genetics. Beyond the cellular level, a child’s ability to tolerate stress and self-soothe begins in the womb. Research suggests that chronic maternal stress experienced during pregnancy isn't just felt by the mom, but her baby as well—potentially wreaking havoc on the child’s stress-response systems before they're even born, which could lead to future psychological complexes around relaxation and emotional equilibrium.

There’s a unique mother-daughter connection, too. A groundbreaking UC San Francisco study found that the corticolimbic system—a fancy term for the part of the brain that’s in charge of emotional regulation and is often linked with mood disorders—is “more likely to be passed down from mothers to daughters” than to sons.


 

There’s no need to panic

 

While there's a clear connection between your nervous system and your mom's, it's important to understand that this isn't the complete story. As Dr. Fumiko Hoeft, a UCSF associate professor of psychiatry who led that groundbreaking study, stresses, "The finding does not mean that mothers are necessarily responsible for their daughters' depression. Many factors play a role in depression—genes that are not inherited from the mother, social environment and life experiences, to name only three. Mother-daughter transmission is just one piece of it."


mothers, science, mitochondria, genetics, nervous systemA pregnant mother taking a deep breath.Photo credit: Canva

Also, give your mom some credit! “We are more likely to inherit the good and the bad parts of our mother’s nervous system,” Dr. Natalie Jones, a licensed psychotherapist, says. “If your mother is calm, nurturing, and manages stress well, chances are you are likely to manage things in a similar fashion.”


 

Inheritance does not equal destiny

 

The mitochondria given to you at birth are just that—nothing more. Even nervous systems can be rewired (once you're out of the womb, that is). Through engaging in neuroplasticity-boosting activities daily, like physical exercise, learning new skills (hello, Duolingo), and mind-body techniques like yoga and meditation that lower stress hormones, your nervous system can be profoundly reshaped. Your mitochondria will thank you.

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Women's Health

Husband shares 'tips' for men with perimenopausal wives and it's totally spot on

"Any form of heavy breathing, particularly from the nostrils, is now out of bounds. Things like this could quite literally get you killed."

Photo credit: Canva

Perimenopause is not joke, but these tips are hilarious.

In recent years, the long-neglected period of female life known as perimenopause has finally gotten the attention it deserves. Menopause most people knew about. The decade or so preceding it, when women's bodies go haywire in a hundred different ways due to hormonal fluctuations, not so much.

You know it when you experience it, though. It's super fun playing a constant game of "Am I dying or is it just perimenopause?" Random symptoms ranging from the somewhat expected hot flashes and irregular periods to the totally unexpected insomnia, irritability, and itching all over just show up out of nowhere. Ten pounds move in like squatters in your mid-section, refusing to leave even when you try to kick them out. The body you've lived in for decades suddenly feels foreign and your brain feels like it's trying to reign in a tornado of physical, mental, and emotional upheaval.

perimenopause, menopause, mid-life, women's health, humorPerimenopause comes with all kinds of random symptoms.Photo credit: Canva

All of this is super easy for our families to deal with, of course. Ha ha.

While we women bear the brunt of the perimenopause bombardment, our loved ones do get hit by the shrapnel. And there's little question that our spouses get most of the collateral damage, which is why a husband's video with advice for men with perimenopausal wives is hitting home. The creator @mitch.little.academy explains that his wife is currently in perimenopause and he wants to share some tips that he's learned with his peers.

"Tip No. 1: Snacks. Don't be messing around with the snacks in the house," he says. "These are no longer yours. Your partner is very up to date with the snack inventory, and if there's one left in the fridge, this does not belong to you, for safety reasons."

@mitch.little.academy

Some tips for the blokes


Next tip: "You have to be quieter about everything that you do. Any form of heavy breathing, particularly from the nostrils, is now out of bounds. Things like this could quite literally get you killed."

"I suggest, if possible, thinking quieter is ideal," he continues. "Even sounds like blinking, which we didn't even know was a thing, is something that you should avoid doing or learn not to do."

He goes on to suggest that husbands "just say 'sorry'" upon waking, even if you don't know what you're sorry for, definitely don't tell her that your core temperature is "comfortable and ideal" when she tells you she's hot, and other such life-saving advice.

insomnia, irritability, perimenopause, women's health. spouseInsomnia and irritability aren't the best perimenopausal combo.Photo credit: Canva

The video is tongue-in-cheek, of course, but he does add a touch of seriousness, acknowledging that perimenopause genuinely is a lot to be going through.

"Did you [know] that suicide and divorce rates are at the highest for females between the age of 35 and 50?" he wrote on Facebook. "Perimenopause is an extremely tough time for a female. I'm no expert, but I'm learning. All I'll say is 'I hear you.' Maybe more conversations can help spread awareness."

Awareness is great, but so is humor, honestly. We have to be able to laugh at this wild stage of life, otherwise we'll cry. Perimenopausal women in the comments appear to agree, appreciating these "tips" for their hubbies:

"OMFG I can’t stop laughing, I’m 12 yrs (of hell) with this crap! Sending your partner hugs and please keep the awareness going, along with the humour!"

"Spot on!! Our marriage nearly ends nightly due to the opening and rustling of packets of food."

"Haha! Peeling paint with the snoring gets me. I'm laying there wide awake at 2 am thinking well I guess I'll get up and do some yoga or put a pillow on his face. Yoga is a better option, it's saved a life a few nights!"

menopause, perimenopause, women's health, women, spouseMenopause is on its way.Giphy GIF by Better Things

"For me it was loud chewing during dinner and the strapping of utensils on the dinner plate. The kids didn’t bother me but my husband…well poor man."

"You didn’t talk about the ear itching! Why didn’t You talk ABOUT THE EAR ITCHING! Now I need to yell at my husband because you missed the ear itching."

"Thank you! It is so recognizable. My husband is still the culprit I am extremely irritated by his behavior, which I never really bothered about before. I am already through pre-memopause and probably at the end, but I am still a volcano that erupts in the morning and at times I feel terribly unhappy. I am bothered by people in general and want them all to disappear.It is a bit less now that I am 60, but I can well imagine that women think about suicide and divorce during that period. I am glad that there is more openness and that it is taken seriously. Thanks again! Love your humor!"

"My husband will ask me do you love me or hate me today and I say no I hate you today but you’ve not done anything wrong it’s not you and he will say ok I’ll go out the back to play with the pigeons. You just have to be understanding about it. Good communication."

In all seriousness, perimenopause sucks. It's good for us all to have a sense of humor about it to ease the angst and pain.

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