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Mom shares how having active parents as a grown adult makes a huge difference

We need our parents after we leave the nest, just in different ways.

parenting, parents of adults, grandparents, hannahwiththelipstick, tiktok
@hannahwiththelipstick/Instagram (used with permission)

Woman relaxing while her mom takes care of her child and cooks soup.

When we think of "parenting" we usually think of the years from birth to college age, when kids become legal adults and many start fleeing the nest. It's not as if there's a magic switch that gets flipped at 18, suddenly making kids no longer need their parents. However, the young adult years are a time when people gradually grow into their independence, taking on the responsibilities and challenges of adulthood.

But what happens after that? Once kids are grown and flown, what role do parents play? They're no longer rulemakers or final authorities, and they certainly aren't responsible for ensuring basic needs are met, but that doesn't mean their parenting years are over.

A video from a mom named Hannah shows what supportive, active parenting looks like with fully grown children, and it's a beautiful example of how parent-child relationships ideally evolve over time. "My parents could write a manual on how to practically love your adult children," wrote Hannah Cases of @hannahwiththelipstick. "I was feeling overwhelmed and this was their response."

As she sits outside with a blanket around her shoulders and a warm mug in her hand, Hannah's parents are shown playing with her child, cooking some soup, organizing and cleaning, and otherwise taking some of the load off her shoulders.

"Your adult children still need you," she wrote.

@hannahwiththelipstick

I think this is what people mean when they say “it takes a village”. 🤍 If your kids are all grown up just remember, they still need you. We might say “I’m fine” or struggle to ask for what we need but the truth is everyone needs help sometimes and the support of loving parents / grandparents has the power to change everything. My parents are a constant reminder of what it looks like to practically love the people around you and put action behind the words “I love you”. I love differently because of having parents like them and living three minutes away from each other has been the biggest blessing. I know a lot of people don’t have parents who are able to help or the relationship might be strained but blood isn’t what makes someone family and I encourage you to seek out a village and remember that it’s okay to ask for help sometimes. 🫶🏻 #ittakesavillage #myvillage #familyiseverything #ittakesavillagetoraiseachild #grandparentgoals #parentgoals #loveyouradultchildren #grandparentslove #parentslove

 

In the caption of the video, she expanded her thoughts:

"I think this is what people mean when they say 'it takes a village.' 🤍 If your kids are all grown up just remember, they still need you. We might say 'I’m fine' or struggle to ask for what we need but the truth is everyone needs help sometimes and the support of loving parents / grandparents has the power to change everything. My parents are a constant reminder of what it looks like to practically love the people around you and put action behind the words 'I love you.' I love differently because of having parents like them and living three minutes away from each other has been the biggest blessing. I know a lot of people don’t have parents who are able to help or the relationship might be strained but blood isn’t what makes someone family and I encourage you to seek out a village and remember that it’s okay to ask for help sometimes. 🫶🏻"

 grandparents, parents, parening, parents of adults, story time, grand kids grandparents reading to their grandchild. via Canva/Photos

It's true that not everyone has parents or a relationship with their parents that would give them this kind of support, but that doesn't mean people aren't desperate for it.

"Honestly seeing this inspires me to be this parent… I pray one day I can create a space this loving for my daughter. I wish every family had this. The world would be such a better, more healthy place."

"Such a gift. I wish we all had parents like this. 🥺"

"100000000x this!!!
Arguably we need you more than ever, now!
We crave independence when we are young, and family/support as we grow our own. ❤️❤️❤️❤️"

"I really wish my mother was capable of this kind of love and support, but unfortunately many of us don’t have this… count yourself blessed if you do!! ❤️"

"You are very blessed to have them ❤️ myself and my husband’s parents don’t ever come around for us or our 2 kiddos and it’s very sad. We have no village except our good friends."

"All I get when I tell my mom I’m struggling is ‘I remember those days.’ Happy for people who have this support but also jealous 😅 But someday I will be there for my grown kids with whatever they need."

"I hope I get the opportunity to show up for my adult babies and their babies like this someday."

"My parents are like this and I’m SO thankful. My mom showed up Monday with a coffee for me. Today both kids have swim class. My dad tags along, and every Wednesday he brings us breakfast. Little things like that, that just make it a little easier on me. My parents live 6 minutes away and I tell them all the time I couldn’t do it without them!"

"We live 15 away from my in-laws. Once a week, my Mother-in-law does one on one time with my two kids. Since the kiddos will nap during the time it’s not their turn with their mimi, it really ends up being such a wonderful break for me. It really does take a village!"

"I tell my parents all the time that I still need my mommy and daddy lol it sounds silly, but it’s so true! I’m so thankful they live one street over and are always available at the drop of a hat! ❤️"

 grandparents, parents, parening, parents of adults, story time, grand kids Grandparents cooking with their grand kid.via Canva/Photos

Hannah's video runs counter to the current narrative we often hear online, where baby boomer generation grandparents aren't taking as active a role in being grandparents as their parents did. A big reason is that baby boomers have more money to pursue their interests than their parents did, so they're spending their golden years on their own, instead of helping the younger generation.

Though it's sad to see in the comments how many people don't have this kind of support, it's also a good reminder to be there for one another when and how we can be. There's no substitute for loving and supportive parents, but any friend or family member who has the time and inclination can help fill that role when they see there's a need.

It's always good to see positive examples of healthy relationships, both to know what's possible and to inspire us to be the people—the village—we want someone to be for us.

You can follow Hannah Cases on Instagram and TikTok.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Fatherhood

Kindergarteners in 1949 were asked to draw their dads from memory. The results are stunning.

The portraits were even featured in Life Magazine.

Photo by Hans Isaacson on Unsplash

Young girl drawing a face.

It was just another day in West Hartford, Connecticut. The year was 1949 and the place was Sedgwick Elementary School. Father's Night was approaching, so Kindergarten teacher Doris Morcom asked her young students to draw portraits of their dads. From the Inside History (via @Life) Instagram description, "Each child drew a portrait of their father entirely from memory."

What made this extra special was that Al Fenn, a photographer from Life Magazine was there to photograph the children with their fathers holding up the drawings. They revealed "portraits that were both delightfully imperfect and surprisingly accurate, offering a tender glimpse in the way children see their parents."

Fenn, incidentally, spent 15 years at Life Magazine, creating some diverse, iconic photos. The Life website shares, "In 1931, as a gift on his first visit to Europe, Al Fenn (1912-1995) was given a Leica. By the time he returned to the States, his 'heart now belonged to photography.'"

In each picture, the children seemed to beam while their fathers looked, by contrast, somewhat serious. These photos have been posted on many social media sites, but on the Inside History reel, many of the commenters mention how business-like the fathers looked in their suits. One writes, "Not ONE dad looks happy from the results." But this gets some push back from, well, a middle aged man. "They are happy. This is how middle aged white dudes look when we're happy. I feel so misunderstood."

Another points out it was of the time to be more conservative in photos, as one didn't get as many takes back in the day. "Some of the biggest smiles you'll see in a pic from this time period."

A common theme is the idea that the fathers look older than your average dad in 2025. Someone counters, "These pictures were accurate. I find it interesting that many people are saying the dads look old when in reality, I think we are just being so inundated with people chasing youth and wanting to look forever 20-something. We don't realize that these people, these fathers, look normal."

On the lighter side, many also mention how strangely on point the portraits are. One jokes, " To be fair, I couldn’t even draw a picture of my dad while looking directly at my dad." It's also noted how deeply proud these children seem, not only with their work as artists, but as their role as kids to these dads. "Look how proud the kids are," one commenter exclaims.

Some note the similarities that a few of them look to celebrities, particularly Brian Cranston and John Cena.

 Bryan Cranston, actor, celebrity, look alike, photos Bryan Cranston at the 2014 Peabody Awards.  en.m.wikipedia.org  

Their teacher, Ms. Morcom, wound up teaching for 35 years and just passed a few years ago at the age of 87. Most likely, she could not have known how impactful her sweet idea to have the kids draw their dads would be. And as an extra little treat? The fathers then took an aim at drawing her, which they proudly held up to be photographed.

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Modern Families

Old man steps up to walk bride with absentee father down the aisle on her wedding day

"May we all have a Gill in our lives, and be a Gill to others."

Photo credit: Canva

When a woman's father wasn't around to walk her down the aisle, a kind man stepped in.

Sometimes the most unexpected relationships hit us at the most unexpected times. A perfect stranger can quickly become a beloved friend, and a person who appears to be a mere acquaintance can play a surprisingly impactful role in our lives.

Enter Gill. A woman named Beau shared that Gill is the man who owns the building where she works—not exactly a description that would indicate a close relationship. But Beau says she had shared with Gill details about her family: "Over the years, I’ve opened up to him about my father never being present and my mother no longer being here," she writes in an Instagram post. 

 engagement, getting married, getting engaged, marriage, wedding When Beau got engaged, she didn't know who would walk her down the aisle.Photo credit: Canva

When she got engaged, Gill made a beautiful, thoughtful gesture. "Gill sat me down and gently asked my Husband and I if he could have the honor of walking me down the aisle," Beau continues. "In that moment, I felt something I’ve never felt before in a fatherly way a man truly stepping up for me in the most honorable way. I am forever grateful. The bar is set, and my heart is full."

People loved seeing this old man recognize that this young woman might be feeling a hole from her biological father and take the initiative to fill it, especially in such a sweet and respectful way.

"Sometimes the gestures that cost nothing are the most priceless of all. That is one beautiful man."

"He looks so proud of her and happy to be there. ❤️"

"You saying he 'gently asked' speaks so much to the quality man he is."

"I'm not quite as old as Gill yet, but I'm closer than I'd like to be. Most of my youth is behind me. The young men who live their lives on the internet and take these toxic influencers as adoptive fathers need to understand that the only men in life who achieve immortality are men like this. Celebrities and 'influencers' may have their time in the spotlight, but it's fickle and fleeting, while men like Gill live forever."

 good men, father, father figure, connection, friendship Good men are everywhere.  Giphy GIF by CBS 

"I have a boss like Gill and he's amazing. I am a white woman and he's an older black man. He has told me several times now that I am the daughter he's never had. I call him my surrogate father. We are in an industry where both of us are minorities in our field. Its helped bring us together knowing that we have each other's backs. I absolutely love that man. If I were to get remarried, he would be the person I would choose to walk me down the aisle. My Children even know that's their other Grandpa, lol."

"I’ve never met my father and was abused by my step-father, and this made me ugly cry. You don’t see a lot of people willing to step up in that way, and this would mean so much to me as well. Gil is a great example to men everywhere 🖤"

Sometimes family is chosen, and in this case, Gill chose to make an offer of family on the most important day of this woman's life (so far). It's a good reminder that it doesn't take an enormous amount of effort, time, or money to make a significant difference and that the connections we make with people may end up mattering more to us than we could possibly foresee.

Thank you, Gill, for being a shining example of compassion. You've given hope and solace to countless people who yearn for a kind soul to step up for the milestone moments in their lives.

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Millennials share their boomer parents’ 15 odd (and hilarious) habits they just don't get

Secretly, they are the most smartphone-addicted generation.

via Canva/Photos

Boomer parents and grandparents sure do have some interesting habits.

When it comes to intergenerational conflict, you never hear too much about Gen Z having a hard time with Generation X or the silent generation having beef with the baby boomers. However, there seems to be some problem where baby boomers and millennials just can’t get on the same page.

Maybe it’s because millennials were raised during the technological revolution and have to help their boomer parents log into Netflix, while the grandparents get frustrated when their adult children don't know how to do basic homemaking and maintenance tasks. There’s also a political divide: Millennials are a reliable liberal voting bloc, whereas boomers are the target demographic for Fox News. Both generations also have differing views on parenting, with boomers favoring an authoritative style over the millennials' gentler approach, which leads to a ton of conflict within families.

A Redditor recently asked Xennials, older millennials, and younger Gen Xers born between 1977 and 1983 to share some quirks of their boomer parents, and they created a fun list of habits that can be both endearing and frustrating.

The users shared that millennials are frustrated with their parents' abilities to use technology but are touched when they send them a greeting card.

 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor Baby boomers are a fascinating and endearing group.  Giphy  

Of course, it is reductive to reduce generations into a series of stereotypes, whether it’s millennials or baby boomers. But, for many, hearing that they aren’t the only person who gets frustrated with their boomer parents can be pretty cathartic and make them feel less alone.

Here are 15 boomer parent quirks that Millennials just don’t understand.

1. They save everything

"They save EVERYTHING (containers, jars, boxes, etc.) just in case they might be able to use it for something later. I feel like this habit was handed down from our grandparents' Great Depression upbringing."

"Absolutely! Shopping bags, empty yogurt containers, boxes that some product came in…..although I love me a 'good box!' I have all my iPhone boxes for no reason."

You know the old saying: Is she really a grandma if she doesn't rinse out used plastic baggies to save for later?


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor An average boomer's basement.  Photo by Tania Melnyczuk on Unsplash  

2. Scary texts

"Will text something foreboding like 'we need to talk;' then turns out she forgot a recipe."

"My dad will text me 'You need to call me right now' when it’s nothing. And not tell me major life events until well after the fact. Like my aunt had a heart attack and I found out a week later from her son. (And my dad did know.)"

It's true, generations have been battling over tone and punctuation in texts for years.


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor They love to scare their adult children with dramatic texts.  Giphy  

3. Stranger death toll

"My mom is ALWAYS telling me about dead people I’ve never met. I really do not care. I know that sounds awful, but I don’t have it in me to be sad for everyone on the planet when they pass."

“You remember my friend Carol? Her aunt had that above-ground swimming pool in her backyard. We swam in it a couple times one summer when you were about 9. Anyway, Carol’s mom just lost her brother-in-law. They were very close. Thought you’d want to know.”


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor Boomers love to talk about random people who have died, and large-scale tragedies.  Giphy  

4. They don't travel

"They act jealous of us traveling but refuse to go anywhere."

"Ooh good one. Mine act jealous of anything we do/buy that they can't solely because they can't get out of their own way and actually make things happen."

And, in general, they have more money and time to make it happen! But they often insist on being homebodies, to their own chagrin.


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor Boomers love staying at home for no good reason.  Giphy  

5. They print everything

"My Boomer FIL prints out EVERYTHING from his computer. I understand printing out instructions or recipes to help remember but do you really need a file cabinet full of forwarded emails from friends and sale adverts from 5 years ago? Oh well, at least he keeps it organized. Also, both TVs in the house run 24/7 playing reruns of 'CSI: Who Gives a Sh*t Anymore?'"

"I'm not on Facebook, but my dad is. Last year, he made a celebratory post on my birthday and all his church friends liked and commented on it. He printed up the post and all of the comments, stapled it into a little book, and MAILED me the printed Facebook comments..."


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor If it can't be held in their hand, they don't trust it.  Giphy  

6. 'From, dad' texts

"My dad sends text messages with, 'From, Dad' at the end of them. It cracks me up every time. He also states who he is every time he calls me."

This has to be one of the more endearing things the boomers do. Please never stop.

7. Irrational fears

"One quirk my dad had was that he was deathly afraid of the house burning down. Not from the standpoint of the danger of fire but when he was growing up, if your house burnt down, you were basically homeless and destitute. My mom is much more level headed about it. She always told my dad, that is why we have homeowners insurance."

8. Expired food

"My mother-in-law doesn't throw out expired food. She has food in her pantry that is several years past their expiration dates. Same with condiments in her fridge. You just can't trust any of the food she has on hand because more than likely than not it's way expired. When we have brought this up, that she needs to throw some stuff out, she insists it's absolutely fine. It's not. "

"My grandmother is the same way. Once, she opened her refrigerator, and there was a jar of pickles with mold floating on the surface of the liquid. I pointed it out, and she said it was still good. She would just scoop the mold out at a later time. She has an incredibly strong stomach and immune system."

They also love to stock up on and freeze certain staples, even milk.


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor They'll keep food for way, way too long.  Giphy  

9. Smartphone addiction

"You always hear a kids 'these kids always on their damn phones.' But when it comes to phone addiction, boomers are far worse."

"My mom drives five hours to see us, then spends the whole time texting people from her church or looking at Facebook."

"I once sat in their living room for over an hour before they decided to put their phones down and speak to me, only to phub me and pick them right back up."

It's not the Gen Alpha kids keeping Bejewled in business!

10. Rigid gender roles

"My dad still clings to the traditional division of 'men's/women's work.' He'll fix a car, do any outside work, clean out a clogged drain. Cooking? If it's any more complicated than making coffee or calling in a pizza, he can't/won't. I don't think he even grills anymore. Laundry? Hell no. Taking care of small children? He'll play with them but that's it."


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor They still hold onto outdated gender stereotypes.  Photo by Frankie Cordoba on Unsplash  

11. The TV is constantly on

"In-laws leave the TV on for all waking hours. And FIL gets irritated if someone talks over the episode of MASH or Walker, Texas Ranger, that he's already seen 50 times. Like clenching his teeth and stomping the floor."

"TV on 24/7. Constantly flipping between some version of Law and Order, HGTV, and Guy Fieri. Asking me 'did you see that commercial where…' No mom. I don’t have cable. I don’t see commercials. All of the time."


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor This is the generation that invented TV as background noise.  Giphy  

12. They are always right

"My dad...he's has to be right about everything and doesn't know what to do if you beat him to the point on something. He once was giving me a recipe that required cinnamon, cardamon, and clove and told me just to use Pumpkin Pie Spice! It's the greatest thing! 'Dad, I don't need to. I have all those spices on hand (I bake)' But...no! You have to use this. 'No, I don't. I don't need to buy something that I already have" It happens all the time."

"My parents are always right and they are not impressed about anything."

13. Obsessed with the weather

"Yes, my dad should have been a meteorologist. He used to have a weather alert radio that would sound off in the middle of the night and he would watch the weather channel constantly. We all had to quiet down when your local weather forecast on the 8's came on. He gets really excited about severe weather like when we might get thunderstorms or a tornado."

There's nothing quite like the thrill a boomer gets from relentlessly tracking every movement of an oncoming storm that will probably amount to some rain and little else.

 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor They love intensely tracking a thunderstorm via The Weather Channel  Giphy  

14. One more thing

"Without fail, every time I'm leaving my mother's house and backing down the driveway, she comes back out of her house and stops me to say something else, even though we'd just spoken."

15. Mail stress

"My mom has an anxiety attack during the entire journey of a package or piece of mail she dispatched to me. No, she doesn’t know how to track. She will not rest until she knows that a package has arrived or a nominal check has been cashed. She calls when she is thinking about sending something, when she sent it, when it’s en route, and when it’s expected to arrive. God forbid it’s late. And if I don’t issue a prompt thank you, she will guilt me."

It all makes you wonder what new conflicts will pop up when the millennials become grandparents, and the Gen Z and Gen Alpha kids are the ones doing the griping. Probably that millennials will continue to insist on Googling things when traditional search engines have long been replaced, or that the 90s and 2000s kids will never stop listening to Lil Jon-era hip hop, no matter how old they get and how inappropriate it becomes.

Guess we'll see. Stay tuned!

This story originally appeared in January. It has been updated.

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Love Stories

People have discovered that the happy couples they know all have these 25 things in common

"When I’m around them I am with a solid unit, not two separate islands."

Image via Canva

People share the healthy relationship behaviors they see in healthy couples.

Romantic relationships that last a lifetime are built different, and truly happy (and healthy) couples are obvious to those around them.

It's why TurnoverEmotional249 posed this question on Reddit discussing relationships: "What do all the happy long-term couples you know have in common?"

Happy long-term couples clearly have fostered healthy relationships and hold wisdom that can help others create the same relationship success. These are 25 things they nail when it comes to love, according to those who have witnessed it.

 the notebook, love, healthy relationship, happy couple, happy couples the notebook GIF  Giphy  

"They like each other." —RomulaFour

"Perhaps even more importantly, they want to like each other. The failed marriages I've observed often involve one or both partners playing snake in the grass 'gotcha' games of passive-aggressive contempt. The benefit of the doubt is essential to useful communication and goodwill." —uzQP

"There was a point, 10-15 years ago, when I realized I was looking for reasons to be angry with my spouse so I could feel self-righteous for putting up with 'all her crap'. When I realized what I was doing I was appalled. But realizing it was a step in my next phase of growing up. We’ll be married 36 years in April and we’re closer than we’ve ever been." —porkchop_d_down

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

 

"My brother and his wife were high school sweet hearts and got married their senior year. He's 65. He's the strong, silent type and she's the social butterfly. When I think about them, I think about teamwork. So, maybe that's it. They do everything together." —Sherry0406

"I'm going to throw out one that several people have touched on, but not explicitly: Happy couples don't keep score. I can't tell you how many times I've heard couples saying things like, 'I watched the kids for 40 minutes while you were running, but only got to play guitar for 35 minutes… so you owe me 5 minutes.' And that, ladies and gentlemen, is when you run… because the end is coming. I'm not saying fairness is not important, but needs are not always equally distributed. I stayed home with our kids for years, working at night, because I had the mental and physical bandwidth to do it. If I had been keeping score back then we would not still be married after all these years." —WaitingForEmacs

"My husband and I were married 47 years when he passed. We joked that it was because we never both wanted a divorce on the same day. Now that I’m alone, I see where our love made each of us a better person. And we both knew that all along." —olauntsal

 humor, laughing, laughing couple, couple laughing, happy couple Couple Laughing GIF by Gogglebox Australia  Giphy  

"My parents ( married 64 years) shared some interests but also had their own. They loved spending time together but enjoyed their time apart. They were definitely a couple but respected each other’s differences. They also use to joke ( I think) about how they stayed together because neither of them wanted the children!!" —jlhinthecountry

"Couples who share the same realistic goals learn to correct each other when veering off the path forward. It's ok to gnaw on each other but reserve bites for very serious issues. I have very little in common with my wife but somehow we have built a beautiful life together since we met in 1982." —WokeUp2

"My grandmother had a love story I envy. She was divorced and met her soul mate at 55. They enjoyed life so much by just doing things together, nothing fancy puzzles, senior citizen activities, etc. They genuinely enjoyed each others company and were always on the go. At 83 my step grandfather died and that same year my grandmother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She said that god took him first to spare him the pain of watching her die." —User Unknown

 happy couple, teamwork, together, love, happy couples Season 2 Good Job GIF by The Office  Giphy  

"They’re genuinely partners. They like each other and look forward to conversations with each other. When I’m around them I am with a solid unit, not two separate islands." —hellospheredo

"Married 30 years here. I think we’re 'happy' because we understand that we’re not always going to be happy. We’re going to argue, disagree, and feel irritable sometimes, but we know this, and therefore keep chugging along. After all this time, we apologize within a very short amount of time after a tiff. That makes me happy, that we can continually move forward together so quickly like that. The majority of the time, we thoroughly enjoy life together. We might be happy but we’re also human. I could make a long list of all the happy things about our relationship but wanted to be transparent, too. So, that’s my take. 😊" —Relative_Wishbone_51

"Their primary focus is the relationship. They turn towards each other, they treat each other with respect, as equals, and they don't let outside influences affect their marriage. They make it a point to have fun together. They are, with one or two exceptions, from stable two parent homes." —VicePrincipalNero

"Selflessness. Great couples are ones where both people think of the others need and desires above themselves. The key here is both." —OldAndOldSchool

 faults, not perfect, happy couple, relationship goals, truth Im Not Perfect Amazon Studios GIF by Amazon Prime Video  Giphy  

"Sense of humor about themselves and their faults." —mama146

"They forgive each other quickly. They reconcile and have short memories." —Tariq_Epstein

"Each person in the couple has their own friends, support system, hobbies and interests outside of the relationship. They are not codependent on their partner and do not rely on their partner for ALL of their emotional needs." —User Unknown

"They disagree well, to the point that they can both say what they think knowing that if the other person disagrees it's perfectly ok, so it just sounds like a conversation." —ButterPotatoHead

 agree to disagree, happy couple, good communication, conflict resolution, happy couples Agree To Disagree Season 7 GIF by Outlander  Giphy  

"They respected their vows, even when they didn’t like each other. They would seek advice and assistance from other long married couples (in our case, we looked to our grandparents ) and marriage counselors when necessary. If they had children, they were on the same page with each other about discipline, etc. And finally, off the top of my head, and I don’t love acknowledging this but the happiest long-term couples I know, some gay, some straight, are childless." —sodiumbigolli

"They are friends with realistic expectations of each other. And they enjoy hanging out together but are also content with time apart." —edzeusky

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Gen Xers are rewatching 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off' and it hits differently than they remembered

People are debating whether the movie didn't age well...or they didn't.

Images via Wikipedia/Canva

Gen X re-watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and some are debating it didn't age well.

One of the most iconic movies from the 1980s is Ferris Bueller's Day Off. The film premiered in 1986, and is the epitome of Gen X pop culture.

Recently Gen Xers (those born between 1965 and 1980) have been re-watching the childhood classic with their Gen Z kids...and it's not quite what they remembered. In a Reddit community of Gen Xers, member dilatanntedad shared his thoughts after a recent viewing, and it has Gen Xers passionately dissecting it.

"Ferris Bueller did not age well," he wrote. "I (m53) watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off this weekend with my kids, ages 9 and 10. Of course there are the iconic lines like 'Life moves fast...' and 'Bueller, Bueller, Bueller...' but the more I watched, the less fun it was."

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

 

"To be honest, at the end I agreed with Ferris' sister: why does he get away with all this shit when she never could? He's a rich privileged white boy who punches down, tricking and taking advantage of pathetic school administrators, restaurant workers, younger kids at school, his parents, and even manipulates his best friend," he wrote, before adding, "He has no empathy for others and does everything for his own enjoyment."

He ended his post with a final thought: "I know I'm a grumpy old man yelling at clouds, but I'm no longer amused by his antics. And I don't think Ferris Bueller could be the hero today that he was in the Reagan 80's." He then followed up with a comment about his kids' thoughts: "To be clear, my kids laughed a lot. And I did too. I was just uncomfortable with the overall message."

His fellow Gen Xers had a lot of opinions to add in, noting that it may not be the film that aged poorly...but them. "I think part of the charm is that at the time it was fun to watch and we could half-identify with the antics," another Gen Xer wrote. "Watching it from today's lens, it seems clear that he was likely peaking, destined for very little or mediocrity at best. His privilege came from his two very hard-working, square, corporate parents."

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Tthe comment got a meaningful reply: "This. It's less that the movie aged poorly, it's that we aged and see it from a totally different perspective. At 16 I wanted to be Ferris. Care free, everything works out, hot girlfriend, zero responsibilities. Looking back at people I went to high school [with] who were close to that, aren't exactly successful in life. So we see what that behavior leads to and no longer idolize it."

Many Gen Xers feel the movie is cinema gold to this day. "I still love it. Stop acting like a boomer 😜," one wrote. Another added, "This movie is the GOAT. It aged like wine." Another agreed: "The movie aged fine. We're the ones that aged out of its target demographic."

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However, Gen Xers championed Cameron as the film's most redeeming character. "My kids thought it was great. I’ve always considered Cameron to be the actual protagonist of the story - he’s the one who experiences character growth and conflict," one commented.

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A fellow Gen Xer added, "That is critically accurate. Without Cameron, this movie is a fable. Ferris learns nothing and does not change. He is the narrator—we know this because he talks to the audience and is definitely aware he’s in a movie. Someone else pointed out that Ferris is Cameron’s manic-pixie dream girl. That’s a good way to look at it. Another is that he is the wise mentor figure (like Ben Kenobi) and Cameron is following the heroes journey. We just don’t see his confrontation with his father as the REAL confrontation is internal."

While Gen Xers may not all agree on the movie's current-day relevance, many had fun theorizing where Ferris may be today, with one noting, "I bet Ferris would use AI to write his English papers :/."

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