Got a 20-something at home? Parent coach shares simple rules for a healthy and happy home.
A lot of parents need to hear this.

A mother and her adult child.
Studies show that today, roughly 45% of people ages 18-29 live at home with their families, the highest number since the 1940s. The top reason these Gen Zers and young Millenials live at home is to save money (40%), while 30% say they can’t afford to live independently and 19% are recovering from emergency costs.
By comparison, in 1970, just 7% of adults ages 25 to 35 lived at home with their parents.
There are bound to be some struggles when young adults live at home as parents try to understand how to navigate life with their grown children. When you’re raising teenagers, it’s a lot easier to draw the line when it comes to house rules, but how should parents treat their kids when they are grown adults?
Mom and parent coach Kim Muench shared some practical advice recently on Instagram for parents who aren’t sure how to create healthy boundaries with their college-age kids. Muench is the mother of 5 adult children and coaches parents of adults to become the “clear, confident, and consistent guide that’s needed in this stage of parenting.”
In her video, Muench says parents need to give their children more freedom while expecting them to be more responsible.
“Your 20-year-old daughter, who's living at home, does not need a curfew. She does need to communicate whether or not she's going to be home that night,” Muench said in an Instagram video. “Your 24-year-old son needs to do his own laundry. He also needs to move it from the washer to the dryer and back to his room in a timely manner,” she continued.
She adds that parents should stop monitoring the daily activities of their adult children.
"Your college kid does not need to be tracked. Unless, it's part of an agreement that everyone in the family has, for safety purposes. You don't need to be counting the amount of alcohol or the number of beers in the refrigerator after your son has been home for the weekend. Your son does need to buy his own alcohol and drink responsibly."
Parents should also have open lines of communication with their adult children so everyone knows what’s expected of them. “If you're not coming to an agreement on what should be done or what is happening or not happening yet that's supposed to be happening, then you need to sit down together and talk about how you can solve the problem together,” she said.
Most of the younger commenters thought this was the exact message their parents needed to hear. “People will freakishly control their kids all their lives into their 20s and be confused as to why their children are still continuing to live at home. It's creating an unhealthy view of boundaries and fear of being on their own,” Ppris0nwifee wrote in the comments.
A young adult who lives with her parents praised Muench’s approach because it works in her home.
“My parents are this way with me and it makes living here and having a social life so easy with no conflict. I can go out whenever I feel like it for however long. I just have to communicate where i'm going and if I'll be back. other than that they mind their business, it makes living at home really easy,” Strangelydeceased wrote. “Props to the parents who have boundaries but let their adult children live like adults when living at home.”
Having a young adult in the house can be hard for parents because they have to break many of the habits they developed while parenting over the past 18-plus years. That’s why it’s great that parenting coaches like Muench are here to help them navigate this tricky stage of life in a way that supports both parent and child’s needs.
Men try to read the most disturbing comments women get online back to them.
If you wouldn't say it to their faces, don't type it.
This isn’t comfortable to talk about.
Trigger warning for discussion of sexual assault and violence.
in 2016, a video by Just Not Sports took two prominent female sportswriters and had regular guys* read the awful abuse they receive online aloud.
Sportswriters Sarah Spain and Julie DiCaro sat by as men read some of the most vile tweets they receive on a daily basis. See how long you can last watching it.
*(Note: The men reading them did not write these comments; they're just being helpful volunteers to prove a point.)
It starts out kind of jokey but eventually devolves into messages like this:
Awful.
All images and GIFs from Just Not Sports/YouTube.
These types of messages come in response to one thing: The women were doing their jobs.
Those wishes that DiCaro would die by hockey stick and get raped? Those were the result of her simply reporting on the National Hockey League's most disturbing ordeal: the Patrick Kane rape case, in which one of the league's top players was accused of rape.
DiCaro wasn't writing opinion pieces. She was simply reporting things like what the police said, statements from lawyers, and just general everyday work reporters do. In response, she received a deluge of death threats. Her male colleagues didn't receive nearly the same amount of abuse.
It got to the point where she and her employer thought it best for her to stay home for a day or two for her own physical safety.
The men in the video seemed absolutely shocked that real live human beings would attack someone simply for doing their job.
Not saying it.
All images and GIFs from Just Not Sports/YouTube.
Most found themselves speechless or, at very least, struggling to read the words being presented.
It evoked shame and sympathy.
All images and GIFs from Just Not Sports/YouTube.
Think this is all just anecdotal? There's evidence to the contrary.
The Guardian did a study to find out how bad this problem really is. They combed through more than 70 million comments that have been posted on their site since 2006 and counted the number of comments that violated their comment policy and were blocked.
The stats were staggering.
From their comprehensive and disturbing article:
If you can’t say it to their face... don’t type it.
All images and GIFs from Just Not Sports/YouTube.
So, what can people do about this kind of harassment once they know it exists?
There are no easy answers. But the more people who know this behavior exists, the more people there will be to tell others it's not OK to talk to anyone like that.
Watch the whole video below:
.This article originally appeared nine years ago.