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After she asked for a mental health day, a screenshot of her boss' response went viral

This is what leadership should look like. 💯

Image shared by Madalyn Parker

Madalyn shared with her colleagues about her own mental health.




Madalyn Parker wanted to take a couple days off work. She didn't have the flu, nor did she have plans to be on a beach somewhere, sipping mojitos under a palm tree.

Parker, a web developer from Michigan, wanted a few days away from work to focus on her mental health.

Parker lives with depression. And, she says, staying on top of her mental health is absolutely crucial.

"The bottom line is that mental health is health," she says over email. "My depression stops me from being productive at my job the same way a broken hand would slow me down since I wouldn't be able to type very well."

work emails, depression, office emails, community

Madalyn Parker was honest with her colleagues about her situation.

Photo courtesy Madalyn Parker.

She sent an email to her colleagues, telling them the honest reason why she was taking the time off.

"Hopefully," she wrote to them, "I'll be back next week refreshed and back to 100%."

Soon after the message was sent, the CEO of Parker's company wrote back:

"Hey Madalyn,

I just wanted to personally thank you for sending emails like this. Every time you do, I use it as a reminder of the importance of using sick days for mental health — I can't believe this is not standard practice at all organizations. You are an example to us all, and help cut through the stigma so we can all bring our whole selves to work."

Moved by her CEO's response, Parker posted the email exchange to Twitter.

The tweet, published on June 30, 2017, has since gone viral, amassing 45,000 likes and 16,000 retweets.

"It's nice to see some warm, fuzzy feelings pass around the internet for once," Parker says of the response to her tweet. "I've been absolutely blown away by the magnitude though. I didn't expect so much attention!"

Even more impressive than the tweet's reach, however, were the heartfelt responses it got.

"Thanks for giving me hope that I can find a job as I am," wrote one person, who opened up about living with panic attacks. "That is bloody incredible," chimed in another. "What a fantastic CEO you have."

Some users, however, questioned why there needs to be a difference between vacation time and sick days; after all, one asked, aren't vacations intended to improve our mental well-being?

That ignores an important distinction, Parker said — both in how we perceive sick days and vacation days and in how that time away from work is actually being spent.

"I took an entire month off to do partial hospitalization last summer and that was sick leave," she wrote back. "I still felt like I could use vacation time because I didn't use it and it's a separate concept."

Many users were astounded that a CEO would be that understanding of an employee's mental health needs.

They were even more surprised that the CEO thanked her for sharing her personal experience with caring for her mental health.

After all, there's still a great amount of stigma associated with mental illness in the workplace, which keeps many of us from speaking up to our colleagues when we need help or need a break to focus on ourselves. We fear being seen as "weak" or less committed to our work. We might even fear losing our job.

Ben Congleton, the CEO of Parker's company, Olark, even joined the conversation himself.

In a blog post on Medium, Congleton wrote about the need for more business leaders to prioritize paid sick leave, fight to curb the stigma surrounding mental illness in the workplace, and see their employees as people first.

"It's 2017. We are in a knowledge economy. Our jobs require us to execute at peak mental performance," Congleton wrote. "When an athlete is injured, they sit on the bench and recover. Let's get rid of the idea that somehow the brain is different."


This article originally appeared on 07.11.17


From Your Site Articles
Well Being

This surf rescuer's lesson on how to spot a rip current could literally save your life

Kenny Jewell/Facebook

Our family is heading to the Oregon Coast next month, not far from where an 11-year-old girl died just weeks ago after being pulled out to sea. According to NOAA, thousands of people are rescued from rip currents by lifeguards and around 100 people are killed in them each year. While we're looking forward to our vacation and don't anticipate tragedy, we also want to make sure our kids know the potential dangers of the ocean.

Rip currents can happen in any large body of water that has waves—not just the ocean, but lakes as well. They are sneaky and dangerous, but they can be avoided if you know what to look for before heading toward the water.

Former surf lifesaver Kenny Jewell shared a helpful post on Facebook several years back that contains timeless advice and clear visuals to help families avoid tragedy at the beach. He wrote:

"As a former surf lifesaver I constantly find myself when I'm at a beach automatically in patrol mode, and I'm always troubled seeing the amount of people that enter the surf straight into a rip zone. This includes, and most worrying of all children. I know a lot of people are kind of aware of what to do if caught in a rip, but it has been brought to my attention recently that a lot of people aren't aware of what a rip actually looks like or where the safest place to swim at the beach is if there is no flagged area.

One person will drown every two to three days this summer... 90% of those fatalities will be rip-related. Here are a few things that will help you and your kids stay safe this summer. I have also put together a few images that show what to look for.

1. The easiest thing to remember is that often the safest/calmest most enticing-looking area along a beach is usually a rip. A rip is usually the area devoid of wave activity and appears darker and deceptively calmer. It can sometimes appear milky or turbulent, but it is always pretty much void of wave activity. All that water coming in via waves has to go back out somehow, this is what a rip is. (see pics).

2. Always take 5-10 mins when you get to the beach to observe surf conditions and identify where these areas are.

3. If you are caught in a rip, DO NOT PANIC. Go into floating mode and raise one arm as a distress signal when possible. See which direction the rip is taking you, is it straight out or at an angle? Once you have determined this, and if you have the energy, swim to the right or left of the direction of flow, never against. Some rips can move at 3 times the speed of an Olympic swimmer, you won't win! If you cannot swim out to either side of the rip, just go with it. Most rips won't take you out very far, and will usually spit you out not long after they take you, so keep calm and save your energy for the swim back to shore.

4. If you have kids, show them these pictures, educate them and make them aware. You can't always be watching them, and it is only a matter of a few meters each way of the point of entry to the water that could mean them being safe, or instantly caught in a rip.

Obviously the safest place to swim is always between the flags on a patrolled beach, but this isn't always practical given the immensity of our coast line and number of beautiful beaches. Of course there are many other factors that can come into play when it comes to beach safety, but rips are the No.1 killer. They are not hard to identify, and 10 mins observation before entering the surf is much easier than body retrieval.

*The darker/calmer areas in the pics are rips. The one with purple dye shows rip movement."

The key thing that struck me in these photos is that I or my kids might have chosen those breaks in the waves as calm places to hang out in the water. I would never have guessed that a break in the waves could mean a potentially dangerous current. It looks inviting, not scary. Such good information to know.

Knowing how to escape a rip current is also vital information. That "swim parallel to shore" advice we often hear makes more sense when you see how these currents actually work.

This video from the NOAA is also helpful offering more visuals and showing what rip currents look like in action:

Rip Current Sciencewww.youtube.com

Have fun at the beach this summer, but be safe. And definitely share this information with your kids or others who might be drawn toward the calmer-looking waters. It could literally save a life.

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Family

What you DON'T see in our idyllic family vacation photos

Annie Reneau

A few years ago, our family took a two-week road trip through the Pacific Northwest. We visited six state parks and four national parks, camped under the Redwoods, frolicked in the Pacific Ocean, hiked through breathtaking scenery, and ate and laughed with friends and family who traveled with us.

Perusing the photos from that vacation (or "family trip" to be more accurate, per M. Blazoned's brilliant analysis), I see gorgeous vistas and genuine smiles, children playing and families picnicking, magical moments of beauty and bliss.

But photos never show the whole picture, do they? This is a problem in the social media age as studies suggest that constantly seeing people's "highlight reels" on Facebook and Instagram can lead to sadness and/or jealousy. Apparently, scrolling through photos of our friends basking on beautiful beaches while we're waging whining wars with our wee ones can make us feel all icky inside. Go figure.

Since I don't like the thought of people feeling icky inside, I thought it might be helpful to share what you don't see in our fun family vacation photos:

THE "KIDS HAVING A UNIQUE EXPERIENCE" SHOTwww.motherhoodandmore.com

What you see: A group of happy kids peering down the empty center of an ancient Redwood tree. So cool.

What you don't see: One of my kids stomping away angrily because I wouldn't let her slide down the hollow after her much older friend (and Boy Scout) did it first and found it to be too treacherous. (The slope was much longer and steeper than it looks in the photo.)

THE "TOTALLY NATURAL, CANDID KID PORTRAIT" SHOTwww.motherhoodandmore.com

What you see: My sweet, happy boy on the banks of a swimming hole in Yosemite National Park gazing lovingly at his mother.

What you don't see: Me carrying this unhappy boy away from said swimming hole while he threw an enormous fit because it was time to go and we couldn't find the "perfect hiking stick" he had found on the way there. Someone actually slow clapped as I escorted him away. Good times.

THE "FAMILY WALKING TOWARDS THE GORGEOUS SCENERY" SHOTwww.motherhoodandmore.com

What you see: Our big group of family and friends walking into the woods for a lovely picnic lunch under the amazing granite formations of Yosemite.

What you don't see: We had just driven three cars full of hungry, cranky children in circles for 20 minutes trying to find a parking space near the visitor's center, to no avail. (Fair warning: Yosemite Valley is NUTS in August.)

THE "KID ENJOYING THE WONDERS OF NATURE" SHOTwww.motherhoodandmore.com

What you see: Our little nature lover demonstrating how big the sugar pine cone she found was at our campsite.

What you don't see: The teeth-gnashing negotiations that ensued when I said she couldn't bring the sap-dripping pine cone home with her because it was unbelievably sticky and also against park rules. Taking this photo was her consolation prize.

THE "ALL-AMERICAN ICE CREAM CONE" SHOTwww.motherhoodandmore.com

What you see: My youngest enjoying his hard-earned ice cream after a day of hiking at Yosemite.

What you don't see: The complaints that ensued after he finished his ice cream because I would not also buy him Cheetos. GAH.

THE "KIDS ALL SITTING IN ONE SPOT TOGETHER, SMILING AND CALM" SHOTwww.motherhoodandmore.com

What you see: Six happy kids in a hammock at the campground in Lassen Volcanic National Park.

What you don't see: Four not-so-happy parents telling kids for the 127th time to stop throwing dirt, stop yelling and screeching (sorry, fellow campers), and stop playing in the fire.

THE "BREATHTAKING VISTA ON A BEAUTIFUL DAY" SHOTwww.motherhoodandmore.com

What you see: A gorgeous view of Crater Lake's incomparably blue waters from the Phantom Ship overlook.

What you don't see: Me spending the entire 1/2-mile hike to this overlook dealing with a six-year-old melting down because I wouldn't let him get a Swiss Army knife. (Man, traveling can be tough on the six-year-olds.)

THE "KIDS ACTIVELY PLAYING IN NATURE" SHOTwww.motherhoodandmore.com

What you see: Kids enjoying beautiful Plaikni Falls in Crater Lake National Park.

What you don't see: Every one of those kids revolting over the 1.3 mile hike to get there because (and I quote) "We've already seeeeen enough beautiful sceneryyyyy!" Wah. Wah. Wah.

THE "SIBLINGS HUGGING WHILE GAZING AT THE SUNSET" SHOTwww.motherhoodandmore.com

What you see: Our three loving children bonding over the beautiful sunset view at Crater Lake.

What you don't see: Me working through one child's emotional crisis in the car ten minutes before this moment, and two children fighting so badly ten minutes after this moment that I made them sit in the car together at the campground until they hugged and made up.

We love to travel as a family and our kids are generally great, but they're kids. And parenting doesn't stop when you're on vacation, alas.

It's not that these photos don't show an accurate picture of reality. These were real, honest, lovely snippets in time filled with joy and wonder. But it's also reality that they were bookended with not-so-lovely moments. Such is life. Especially with children, God love 'em.

So don't be jealous of people's idyllic family vacation photos. I guarantee their trips have as much normal family drama as yours do, even if their photos don't show it.

And why would they? We take pictures because we want to remember the good times, not the annoying ones. And over time, the whining, arguing, and complaining that come with traveling all melt away, and what we're left with is the beautiful memories we've chosen to capture and hold onto.

We just need to remember that when we're looking at someone else's highlight reel, we're definitely not seeing the whole picture.

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More

Looking for the key to happiness? This simple solution has the science to back it up.

True
Extra Chewy Mints

What’s the key to happiness? It’s something we’ve all wondered about.

Maybe you’re one of the 43% of Americans dealing with chronic loneliness and wishing you knew more about how to make friends, keep friends, and escape loneliness.

But knowing where to start finding that happiness isn’t always easy.

Ads often encourage people to chase happiness through material things, like tech gadgets, cars, and clothes — but can you really buy happiness?

Well, according to Amit Kumar, a social psychologist who studies happiness and spending habits, you can actually give your happiness a serious boost by spending your money on meaningful moments.

[rebelmouse-image 19478450 dam="1" original_size="3872x2592" caption="Photo by Anna Dziubinska/Unsplash." expand=1]Photo by Anna Dziubinska/Unsplash.

Kumar is a postdoctoral research fellow at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business and has published several studies on the satisfaction people get from their purchases. He and his colleagues have compared experiential purchases like a plane ticket for a vacation to material purchases like electronics.

Kumar says they found that “people derive more satisfaction from experiential purchases like vacations than they do from material purchases like clothing, jewelry, furniture, electronic gadgets, and so on.”

So if you’re considering attending a show, visiting a new country, or taking a road trip, you might want to start packing.

According to Kumar, it’s not necessarily the purchase itself that makes you happy — it’s the memorable experiences that purchase leads to. In other words, your trip or outing will likely lead you to experience new and exciting things that you might remember forever.

And sometimes, what makes that experience memorable is the people you meet along the way and the unexpected connections you make with them.

It’s not like you need a big, dramatic moment to make this kind of connection. The moments of connection can be as simple as opening the door for a stranger, or offering a mint after enjoying a coffee with that long-lost classmate you ran into randomly while exploring a new city. Maybe, on your adventures, you’ll meet a waitress who goes above and beyond for her customers; or maybe you’ll strike up a conversation with someone in line to see that concert you’ve been waiting for all year. Maybe you’ll grab lunch with those hikers who warned you about a bear up ahead on the nature trail.

[rebelmouse-image 19478451 dam="1" original_size="5760x3840" caption="Photo by Mike Erskine/Unsplash." expand=1]Photo by Mike Erskine/Unsplash.

Whatever these small moments are, you’ll be talking about them later, telling coworkers, dates, and new friends about that time a road trip led you to someone you might have never met otherwise.

And when you talk about an experience afterward, it lives on — and so do the feelings of happiness you’ve derived from it.

Jesse Walker, who co-authored a study with Kumar, says, “One-time experiences tend to grow sweeter in memory as time passes. Even a vacation that goes terribly wrong in every way often becomes a fond memory.”

So maybe, someday, you’ll even laugh about the road trip with your partner that got you horribly lost and spending the night in that scary hotel you swear was haunted.

[rebelmouse-image 19478452 dam="1" original_size="3648x5472" caption="Photo by Ivana Cajina/Unsplash." expand=1]Photo by Ivana Cajina/Unsplash.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to ditch material purchases altogether to find happiness — the key is to find some balance. Rather than getting pulled completely into the world of material things, Kumar says, you can put some of your spending money toward experiences, too.

You may even be able to get both at once: For instance, a cell phone with a great camera can give you mementos like photos and videos of good times shared with friends and loved ones.

[rebelmouse-image 19478453 dam="1" original_size="2983x1676" caption="Photo by Katie Treadway/Unsplash." expand=1]Photo by Katie Treadway/Unsplash.

So look out for opportunities for those small moments of connection — they can carry a wealth of happiness.

Which means that finding the key to happiness is much simpler than many people think. It’s not about having the right material possessions to make you feel satisfied. It’s more about life’s little moments — sharing an experience and making a connection that leaves you with meaningful, happy memories.

While that may not be your only source of happiness, it’s a great start to help you combat loneliness and find the joy you seek.

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